I wrote this post in 2015 and ran across it today, Gavin and I are even closer now and I wanted to send him some love. Be sure to check out his blog, you will want to stay a while.
GAVIN THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND
Gavin and I met through the blogosphere on 3/31/14. He is truly amazing with a camera and only started in 2009. He can take everyday objects and present them in different perspective.
He started in color then fell in love with black and white and the rest they say is history. I am amazed at what we can do with light. He doesn’t give himself enough credit, he is a professional without question.
Gavin is a great friend, sometimes we go long periods without talking and when we do, it’s like yesterday. He is a survivor of a traumatic background yet he stands tall. Gavin has taken the smart route, surround yourself with friends and family you can trust.
I’m blessed to have Gavin in my life. We BS, lend a shoulder, and make each other laugh. Please pull up a chair, you’ll be amazed at his artistic ability.
I want to thank everyone for their prayers and notes of encouragement, they have been important to my healing. After resting a little there is more to share. I only recall two other breakdowns, the first when I was nine years old and again at 12 years old.
As the violence in the house escalated, we went to our bedrooms, I left my bedroom door cracked open and watched my step-father beat my mother again. Throwing her head from side to side, hitting the wall each time, you could hear her begging for her life. They stopped in front of my bedroom, he had a knife to her throat and she closed her eyes and begged under her breath.
I was 12 years old, can’t remember the events other than it included my dad and me wanting to kill him. I spent two weeks on my bed catatonic, rocking back and forth.
My childhood was a constant trauma until I was 14 years old. When I was 28 years old, my father committed suicide. He was living with an undiagnosed mental illness with no medication by choice. For seven months after his death, I looked inward and sought out a Psychiatrist. After a few false starts, I found an exceptional Psychopharmacologist and he treated me for over 32 years.
Early on he said I needed therapy and introduced me to my current therapist who I’ve seen for over 30 years. With her I was able to slowly unpack the locked box of memories, sharing my life without emotions. I’ve gone through the first three steps of healing from trauma and have chosen not to take the fourth step which is reliving the memories and feeling the emotions. I won’t feel the pain again.
Monday’s breakdown was a combination of many factors. I’m on a new medication and my mood is not stable, that morning a trauma was triggered that had long been forgotten and packed away since I was 19 years old. The memory didn’t shake me, there was no emotion at the time. I’ve also been watching a violent series mostly centered on gang violence and the trafficking of women. Over the past 5-6 episodes I’ve watched one woman who was broken and dead inside, be beaten again and again. Running for her life, she realized there was nowhere to go, so she went back to the man who broke her.
I cried for her each episode but the reality of her future became clear. It broke me, sitting in the chair I sobbed uncontrollably as I grabbed the sides of my body. I fell to the floor, the pain was overwhelming. My husband came over to help me, and I screamed over and over don’t touch me. I grabbed my Xanax and took two. I started to hyperventilate and reached for another Xanax, my husband said no, and my response was quick. At the top of my voice, Fuck you, Fuck you, Fuck you all the way upstairs to my office. I sat in the dark, took another Xanax, and stayed still, soaking in all the pain over again. A short time later, I packed the night away in my box and went to bed only to spend the night away, crying under my breath.
I have experienced many other traumas in life, including being stalked three times, police pulling a gun on me in front of my house and neighbors, and being raped more times than I care to count, yet here I am.
You may be asking yourself why and how can I write this post without a tear? The short answer is I’m a survivor. Buring your trauma in a box is a coping mechanism I learned at birth, it allows you to move forward in life.
I’m raw but crawling, healing my mind and body, and need time to recover. I will not be writing anything traumatic or deep for some time.
Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their site with you. This week we highlight the blog Unique Times with Cindy.
Cindy has 35+ years of experience in health and wellness. She studied Occupational and Recreational Therapy with an emphasis in Psychology at San Jose State University. She started her career in wellness offering personal training, leading health facilities, and teaching workshops. She opened her own aerobics studio and has continued to expand.
“It is not always easy to trust ourselves, to venture out of our comfort zones, and go for our dreams, however, Cindy Georgakas has successfully done this in an eloquent way.”—Dr. Chérie Carter-Scott, New York Times Bestselling Author of If Life is a Game, These are the Rules.
Cindy’s book is undoubtedly worth a peak, a read, and a permanent place on your bookshelves.
I have only followed her for a short time but we clicked right away. She is wickedly smart, gracious, very funny, and has a loving heart. She’s a brilliant writer who truly writes from the heart and shares her experiences with those who are searching. Aren’t we all searching?
Be sure to stop by her blog and say hello, no doubt you will pull up a chair and immerse yourself in her words.
Just a note from a blogging perspective, she blogs for the right reasons, her own. She has replied to all of my comments and is part of the community I love.
I’m glad you joined me this week for another edition of Weekend Music Share.
Have a great weekend!
Melinda
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share, the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the Weekend Music Share banner in your post, and use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
Thanks for stopping by, I look forward to seeing you again.
Spending some time near water can be healing for the mind and soul. Take yourself to a source of water, such as the ocean, a river, or even a small pond. Close your eyes and take in the sounds.
In France, June 6th will mark the 80th anniversary of D-Day landings during World War II. I imagine young soldiers with so much life ahead of them, facing the battle straight on, fighting for their countries to protect the citizens, not thinking about themselves but focused on their commitment to serving and protecting. How can we ever repay the soldiers who died fighting, how can we make their families whole again, what about the children left without fathers? We can’t repay them for their courageous acts, every single one, down to the last soldier on the ships and ground.
We can acknowledge, and celebrate their lives and thank them for their sacrifices. Without our allies and their military capabilities we would live in a very different world and one I hope to never see. My heart overflows with sadness, joy, and forever gratefulness.
All the countries that fought to abolish Hitler and his unspeakable crimes saved so many Jews and ultimately many other lives who now live in freedom. The concentration camps, the torture, and the sheer evil are a reminder to all that there is evil out there and we must fight to protect the innocent and for freedom for all.
Let’s come together. Put our political and religious differences aside to celebrate and give thanks to those who gave all and those who survived to tell their stories. The story of each individual is important, as is the reason for the war. Never forget the reason behind each war, learn from it, celebrate our heritage, accept one another, and above all else help each other heal.
I celebrate my Gramps for his commitment to our country during WWII, like most who experience wartime trauma, he didn’t share much but I saw the pride in his eyes. He was a proud man and I’m blessed to have had him in my life. He was so young in this photo, and he was decorated with many medals over his career including a Bronze Star which he kept in his dirty toolbox. It was not the medals that made him the man he was. He didn’t want a military funeral but I couldn’t agree, he deserved the respect. I’m so thankful that during a time of war, Fort Hood in Texas found enough soldiers to send him home properly.
I picked this song because these women keep the spirit alive.
Wartime choir The D-Day Darlings DAZZLE the Judges! | Auditions | BGT 2018
An interesting twist on a search I requested from Copilot. I’m so addicted now!!!!!
Flora 🌿
Wildflowers: Sprinkled across the meadow, wildflowers add bursts of color to the otherwise green canvas. Imagine delicate buttercups, vibrant daisies, and perhaps a few shy violets. Their petals sway in harmony with the breeze, creating a soft symphony of hues.\
Tall Grasses: The grasses here are not mere blades; they’re tall and graceful. Their feathery heads catch the sunlight, turning golden as the day progresses. When the wind dances through, the grasses ripple like waves on a tranquil sea.
Ancient Oaks: A few ancient oak trees stand sentinel. Their gnarled trunks tell stories of centuries gone by. Their leaves, a rich emerald, provide dappled shade for our contemplative woman. Perhaps a squirrel or two scampers along their branches, gathering acorns.
Whispering Willows: Down by the water’s edge, willow trees lean gracefully. Their long, slender branches dip into the pond, their leaves trailing like veils. When the wind rustles through, it’s as if the willows murmur secrets to the water.
Ferns and Moss: In the shaded nooks, ferns unfurl their delicate fronds. Their greenery is lush and inviting. Moss clings to rocks and fallen logs, creating a velvety carpet. Tiny insects—nature’s architects—flit about, weaving their own stories.
Fauna 🦋
Butterflies: Butterflies, those ephemeral creatures, flit from flower to flower. Their wings carry patterns of iridescent blue, orange, and black. They sip nectar, their delicate feet barely disturbing the petals.
Songbirds: Hidden among the branches, songbirds serenade the landscape. Robins, sparrows, and finches create a melodic chorus. Their notes blend seamlessly with the rustling leaves and the distant babble of the brook.
Dragonflies: These jewel-toned insects zip through the air, their gossamer wings catching the light.
My first go-round with Copilot image creation. I’m so impressed with the product. I’m working on an avatar but not there yet, it’s so hard to create the image and felling you want to represent.
I was 5 years old when this song came out and my father was a huge Elvis fan. He would play the albums over and over and we would dance and sing until we were exhausted. It’s a cherished memory of my father for which I don’t have many.
Elvis Presley – Jailhouse Rock (’68 Comeback Special)
Daniel and I have known each other since 2012-2013 and he was a co-founder of Survivors Blog Here. I’ve never met a man as talented at writing, his imagination is expansive. He’s a deep thinker, life lover, husband, a father and I’m so glad to call him a friend. This post is deep, it took a minute to soak in but I find truth in it. Thank you, my friend. You would be remiss if you didn’t check out his blog.
I love the song and it’s a bit of an anthem for me but now that I know the backstory I’m happy he sang the lyrics that Paul Ankna personally wrote for him, Frank asked his good friend Paul to write a song for his retirement. It was deeply personal for both and it revived Franks’s career.
It’s a shame, Frank stopped liking after so many years of singing and getting demands for the song. I think it was his best song. Many went on to record his version or changed versions of the song. The Elvis version is great, I’m a huge Elvis fan and believe he sang it properly even though Paul Anka didn’t want Elvis to record it, they were close friends as well.
The story is quite interesting in musical history,
Here are my two favorite videos, one of Frank Sinatra and the other from Elvis.
Frank Sinatra – My Way (Live At Caesars Palace/1978)
Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their site with you. This week we highlight the blog Mitch Teemley The Power of Story.
I’m a storyteller (writer, filmmaker, composer, public speaker) with the audacity to believe others might actually want to read, watch or hear the things I come up with. I live in Cincinnati, Ohio with my wise and gorgeous wife Trudy. Together we’ve created our magnum opi: two adorable, wildly creative daughters. More? Well, if you insist: there are mini-bios on me at Wikipedia and IMDb.
Mitch’s post is a ray of sunshine and a dose of reality. He has an incredible storytelling ability. You must check his blog out!
The family cookbook contains recipes my Granny & Gramps used often and is the type of food I grew up on. Many with veggies and tomatoes from the garden. Good ole Southern food like my Gramps dumplings, to Grannies pecan pie.
The recipe comes from my husband’s Aunt on his Father’s side.
Hi, I’m glad you stopped by and I look forward to seeing you soon.
The quest to create a cozy home doesn’t need to be limited to your indoor space. No matter what size your outdoor space may be, you can add special touches to make it feel extra homey and inviting.
What’s the one thing you can do to make your backyard, balcony, or porch a little cozier?
I’ve followed Muslim Life for a while now and love the common sense posts, they are great reminders of how to live our life. I respect Muslims, their religious practices are different than my own, and that’s cool with me.
Christians, Jews, and Muslims believe in God, and I embrace them.
I know without a doubt that being a Muslim does not make them terrorists, and shame those who think that way.
Here are a few products I’m loving right now. I hope you find a product to add to your household or self-care routine. The list may give you ideas for friends, and family. Most products are found on Amazon except for the candles.
Double-duty self-care products are extra special when they require you to rest and enjoy the benefits.
Grace & Stella
Gold Eye Mask
Royal Nectar Face Mask
Shield Mask with Bee Venom & Manuka Honey
Soon Skincare
Shea Butter Hand Mask for Dry Hands, Moisturizing Gloves, Hand Moisturizer for Cracked Hands Repair, Hand Mask Gloves with Green Tea and Tea Tree Skincare
Lip Masks for Soft Lips, Masks for Lip Care, Korean Skin Care Lip Treatment, Collagen Masks for Lip Hydration, Lip Masks with Aloe Vera
cleo+coco
Natural Dry Shampoo Powder – For Body & Hair – For Women – Absorb Odor & Sweat – Essential Oils & Arrowroot Powder – Free of Talc & Parabens – PCR – Made in USA – Grapefruit Bergamot – 4oz
I’ve also purchased the Figuier (Fig Tree) – Home Fragrance Diffuser Behind the Faceted Glass, a summer landscape, it smells awesome. I only used 3 reeds so the fragrance isn’t overwhelming.
Most candles are made in France
*Korean skincare products like Soon Skincare are awesome. Korea takes skin care seriously and can be less expensive and more effective.
The family cookbook contains recipes, my Granny’s & Gramps used often and is the type of food I grew up on. Many with veggies and tomatoes from the garden. Good ole Southern food like my Gramps dumplings, to Grannies pecan pie.
This recipe is from my husband’s Aunt, all of her recipes are written on cards and her spelling can be hard to cipher.
Ingredients
1 1/4 flour
1/2 TSP salt
1/2 cup Crisco cold *I don’t know what cold product you can substitute with.”
3-4 TSP cold water
9-inch pie shell
Cooking Instructions
Mix and roll
Pick up from the bottom and sides with a fork to stop air bubbles
Bake at 450 degrees for 15 minutes
A good pie crust recipe can make all the difference in the overall pie.
I’m glad you joined me this week for another edition of Weekend Music Share.
Have a great weekend!
Melinda
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share, the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the Weekend Music Share banner in your post, and use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
Many if not most prescribed medications require a ramp-up period called efficacy, this is the time it takes for the medication to reach a therapeutic level.
For example:
I started Trintellex several weeks ago for my ongoing depression. The Prozac wasn’t working any longer which is common when you take a drug for a long time. The efficacy of Trintellix is 6-8 weeks, during this period you can experience common side effects and they often subside once the drug reaches efficacy. It’s important to track these symptoms but it’s not always time to call your doctor. Never stop taking medication before talking to your doctor, stopping medication abruptly can send your brain into a tailspin. If you can’t wait to hear back from your doctor, go to your nearest ER for help ASAP. It may save your life.
The most important side effects to be aware of are adverse side effects, which are the worst side effects that can be deadly and require immediate attention. It’s easy to forget the side effects after reading the prescribing instructions the first time so I keep them handy.
The past week I was overcome by nausea and vomiting and thought I was getting sick. After reading the prescribing instructions again I was reminded that those are common side effects, not ones to be alarmed about. I have experienced sparks in the brain as the medication reaches efficacy, like crying, returned energy, improved cognition, and feeling better overall.
All medications including over-the-counter items still have side effects, especially for children.
Always call your doctor if you are concerned about anything, not just medication side effects.
It’s really sad to say, but to a degree self-care has become a buzzword frequently portrayed in media and online as indulgent bubble baths, retail therapy, and the occasional junk food binge. Not just in shows, or in advertisements triyng to sell you stuff, but even on social media by the people you know, and of course by content creators too.
While yes, buying indulges and buying things that you love can actually be a really nice way to show yourself some life, you have to keep in mind that these also only offer temporary relief, and so true self-care is far more profound and personal. It’s about nurturing your mental, emotional, and physical well-being in ways that genuinely enrich Dr your life. So, with that said, it’s best to explore what self-care really means and how you can embrace it in a more meaningful way.
Understanding True Self-Care
Self-care is often misunderstood as a quick fix or an escape from reality. However, true self-care involves intentional actions that support your overall health and happiness. It’s about listening to your body and mind, understanding your needs, and taking steps to meet those needs in healthy and sustainable ways. This might mean setting boundaries, saying no to commitments that drain you, or seeking help when you need it.
Mindful Self-Practices
Basically, the less love and care you show yourself, the higher the chances of stress and even the potential of forming anxiety. Actually, true self-care is often found in the small, mindful practices that help you stay grounded and connected to yourself. This might include a daily walk in nature, practicing yoga, or spending time on a hobby that you love. It’s about finding joy and peace in the everyday moments.
But this isn’t always the case; mindful practices will vary from person to person. While one person might feel relaxed walking out on a trail in nature, there might be someone else who feels more at ease and relaxed if you’re at home and using delta-8 THC gummies since these offer a more calming and gentle effect. But overall, mindful practices help prevent chronic anxiety from forming, and again, the best way to go about it really varies from person to person.
The Illusion of Instant Gratification
The media often promotes self-care as something that provides instant gratification—like a shopping spree or indulging in comfort food. By all means, yes, while these activities can offer momentary pleasure, they don’t address the deeper issues that may be affecting your well-being.
In fact, relying on these quick fixes can sometimes lead to feelings of guilt or regret afterward. So, you have to understand that true self-care involves making choices that contribute to your long-term well-being, even if they don’t provide immediate pleasure.
You Have to Think About Emotional Health
Just think of it this way: You’re spending money on things that give you small bits of gratification immediately, like junk food, but at the end of the day, you’re going to feel bad for the money you spent, and you might feel physically bad too because, well, it’s junk food. The same goes for shopping sprees too. Now, emotional health usually gets overlooked in mainstream portrayals. You need to understand your thoughts and gain clarity on what you need to feel balanced and fulfilled.
We all experience stress. That’s a normal part of life. However, there are different levels of stress, and, for some people, it can be much more than they may be equipped to deal with, alone.
If you have experienced some form of trauma in the past, and you have begun to experience nightmares, mood swings, and flashbacks, and you’re having difficulty controlling your emotions and reactions to things, such as becoming much more easily startled, then you might be experiencing PTSD. Here, we’re going to look at what you can do to start to heal from it, and how you can begin to feel like yourself again.
First of all, it’s worth noting that PTSD is well beyond the average person’s ability to deal with it on their own. A lot of people are reluctant to seek help because of the lingering stigma associated with mental health, but at some point, you have to put your wellness in front of how you fear you might be perceived. Cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT, has been noted as being particularly helpful, allowing individuals to reframe negative thoughts and develop healthier thought patterns. Talk to your doctor about the help available to you.
Considering medication
There are also medication options that can help manage the symptoms that are associated with PTSD. For instance, you might want to consider antidepressants such as SSRIs that can help you regulate your moods to some degree. Anti-anxiety medications are also typically prescribed on a short-term basis to help people avoid the more extreme symptoms of anxiety disorders, such as panic attacks. Talk to your doctor about the medical options available to you, but do be aware that therapy and medication together tend to provide the best odds of success, rather than choosing just one.
Find the right therapeutic relief
While direct therapy is going to do a lot of heavy lifting in helping you process the thoughts and emotions associated with PTSD, some treatments can help you find comfort, improve your mood, and heal, such as service dogs for PTSD. Service dogs are very effective, and forming a relationship with one can also provide a sense of purpose and motivation when it might feel like life is otherwise directionless. Service animals can even sense when their human partner is experiencing a stressful or anxious episode to provide comfort when it’s needed.
Finding a support group that understands
While talking to loved ones can help you, and a therapist can give you many of the tools to work through your emotions, there is a specific benefit to spending time with people who understand your experience that’s well worth seeking. Consider finding a PTSD support group, allowing you to connect with others who have similar experiences, and providing a sense of community and understanding. Peer support can be incredibly validating and can help reduce feelings of isolation. You can also get some practical tips from others who have been on the same journey as you.
Be mindful of your psychological triggers
While it is likely to be, in part, a subject of part of your therapy sessions, it’s worth starting to become aware of the concept of psychological triggers. Triggers are stimuli, whether they’re sights, sounds, smells, emotions, people, places, or otherwise, that can elicit a strong emotional or stress response from you. A lot of people who have experienced trauma in the past can develop these triggers in association with them that, even when you’re safe and comfortable, can suddenly rise up to completely change your emotional state. Becoming aware of your triggers is the first step to dealing with them.
Taking care of yourself
Your mental and physical states are intrinsically linked. By putting care into yourself, physically, it can help you mentally, as well. For one, exercise can help reduce stress and anxiety, improve mood, and enhance overall well-being. A balanced diet can be vital to good mental health, and good sleep hygiene is crucial, as poor sleep can exacerbate PTSD symptoms. Even taking the time to show yourself a little self-care can be good for your self-esteem, which can make your mood swings less severe.
There is no magic pill for PTSD. A lot of people who live with it will experience the symptoms for a long time, and some aspects might never go away entirely. However, there is always a way to get better and to heal. Keep that in mind and consider the tips above.
lookingforthelight.blog 