From the Aromalief Blog, you might be surprised at the difference between the two.
Aromalief Team
In February of 2020, the popular prescription pain relief cream Voltaren changed to Over the Counter through a process at the FDA called Rx to OTC. This cream was first approved in 2007 to help temporarily relieve arthritis pain. In this blog post, I would like to share with you the ingredient differences between our cream Aromalief and Voltaren made by Novartis.
Aromalief Hemp Pain Relief Ingredients
Aromalief Hemp Pain Relief Cream combines the cooling power of naturally derived menthol with a blend of botanicals and nutrients. The preservatives used in Aromalief are non-toxic and help to prevent bacteria from growing in it.
Voltaren Gel’s active ingredient is Diclofenac Sodium which is a Non-Steroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drugs also known as NSAIDs. Also included in the formula is Ammonia.
ACTIVE INGREDIENTS
DICLOFENAC SODIUM
INACTIVE INGREDIENTS
AMMONIA, CARBOMER HOMOPOLYMER TYPE C, COCO-CAPRYLATE/CAPRATE, ISOPROPYL ALCOHOL, MINERAL OIL, POLYOXYL 20 CETOSTEARYL ETHER, PROPYLENE GLYCOL, WATER
Annabell wrote this post in response to the questions she received on their Facebook page.
I can speak from personal experience: Aromalief works like no other topical cream I’ve used. Soon after I rub the cream on, it begins to warm up and has a light menthol and lavender scent. Nothing overpowering. I joke all the time that my dogs would not know it’s me without the Aromalief scent.
Aroalief is for tired, achy muscles, arthritis, fibromyalgia, and neuropathic pain. I even use it for my carpal tunnel in both hands.
Three things I’ve learned since having the opportunity to review Aromalief for Chronic Illness Bloggers are that she strives for excellence, guarantees 100% customer satisfaction, and is committed to the pain community. The bonus for me is that Aromalief is WOMEN-owned and made in America.
Here’s a copy of my review for Aromalief Lavender Hemp Pain Cream.
If you have any questions for Annabell, please write to her at Aromalief.
It’s the weekend, YEAH! I’m so glad you’ve joined me. Be Safe. This week we lost one of the great guitarists of our days, Eddie Van Halen. You don’t have to like rock and roll to appreciate his ability to play the electric guitar. Of course, loving rock and roll makes you appreciate his ability even more. Here are a few of my favorite Van Halen songs.
I need your help this weekend! I’ve upgraded my site and have a couple of concerns. Can you read this font? It looks very light for me. I’ve changed fonts since last week and hope this is better. What is your loading time like? If you would, please comment and let me know how your loading time was I would really appreciate it.
The world has been tested to the limits by the COVID-19 virus and we all need to keep dreaming. There are better days ahead!
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share; the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the ‘Weekend Music Share‘ banner in your post, and don’t forget to use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
It’s the weekend, YEAH! I’m so glad you’ve joined me. Be Safe.
I need your help this weekend! I’ve upgraded my site and have a couple of concerns. Can you read this font? It looks very light for me. I installed Goggle Fonts and my site feels like it has slowed down. If you would, please comment and let me know how your loading time was I would really appreciate it.
The world has been tested to the limits by the COVID-19 virus and we all need to keep dreaming. There are better days ahead!
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share; the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the ‘Weekend Music Share‘ banner in your post, and don’t forget to use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
It’s the weekend, YEAH! I’m so glad you’ve joined me. Be Safe. The words to Dream Baby Dream are more relevant than ever. The world has been tested to the limits by the COVID-19 virus and we all need to keep dreaming. There are better days ahead!
Melinda
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share; the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the ‘Weekend Music Share‘ banner in your post, and don’t forget to use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
Cindy Knoke has traveled the world, to the most unusual off the beaten path places you can imagine. Her photography is a window to the world. I ask Cindy a few questions to learn her photography background and how she plans for her extraordinary trips. At what age did you pick up your first camera? Did the world […]
I’m so glad you joined me, I hope you have a great weekend. Be Safe. In honor of September 11, 2001, for all the lives lost and forever changed. No matter what is going on in our country, I’m proud to be an AMERICAN.
Melinda
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share; the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the ‘Weekend Music Share‘ banner in your post, and don’t forget to use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
My phone rang right before my rideshare bus was scheduled to arrive, it was my gramps calling saying that a plane flew into the World Trade Center. I was in a hurry, about to leave for my dream vacation to St. Petersburg, Russia, so I didn’t think much about it and said I would call him later.
The photo was taken by me in Washington, D.C.
While on the ride to the airport I heard a second plane had hit the World Trade Center and alarm bells went off. What in the hell is going on? It still didn’t register that a terrorist attack had just happened. Someone in the back seat asked who would do such a thing, and Bin Ladin came to my lips immediately. Then the magnitude of what was happening hit me.
We arrived to find the airport closed and all flights canceled. In fact, all air space was closed over the United States. On the ride back home all I could think about was how did this happen? How could this happen?
I watched the horrifying news non-stop over the next couple of weeks and started a journal. One of the first lines I wrote was “this was the beginning of World War 3”. Little did I know at the time, that the wars that followed would last so long and take so many lives.
It doesn’t feel right to talk about how terrible I felt when I look at the people who were directly affected by the bombing. I can say there are images that haunt me still to this day and know so many feel the same way. I can’t imagine living in New York City at the time of the bombing. One thing I will say is New Yorkers can together, everyone, every nationality, every religion, and every color, and everyone came together to help each other. It was heartwarming to see the love shown by the people in New York City.
I was able to fly to Russia two weeks later and the world was a different place. It didn’t cross my mind that the plane could be bombed and there were no Air Marshals at the time. I was still naive about the possible dangers of flying.
I went to Russia alone and not many women travel alone in Russia so most knew I was American. It didn’t help that I didn’t know a word of Cyrillic, the national language. People would stop me in the street to say how sorry they were for what happened to America, it was surreal. One Asian couple looked at me with pain in their eyes and asked are you okay? What do you say to a question like that? Yes, personally I’m great but life will never be the same.
So many people heroically gave their lives to help others, as an American I can not thank them enough.
Today we celebrate the end of the conflict with Japan which brought to an end the Second World War.
Let’s not forgot those who made the ultimate sacrifice and who stayed behind to support the war effort. My gramps was on the front lines in Germany and my granny was a Rosie the Riveter, I’m so proud to know my grandparents fought for my freedom and the freedom of others. Their efforts help shape the world as we know it.
I’m so glad you joined me this weekend, I hope you have a great weekend. Be Safe. This week I share one of my favorite Rolling Stones tunes and provide two live videos and you will get a real kick out of. I love the fashion of the time and the differences in each video. :)
Melinda
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share; the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the ‘Weekend Music Share‘ banner in your post, and don’t forget to use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
Nominations for the 2020 WEGO Health Awards come to a close tonight, so be sure to get your nominations in before it’s too late. Think about the people who have influenced your life in the past year and nominate them in categories like Life Time Achievement, FaceBook, Instagram, Advocating for Another, and Rookie of the Year, just to name a few of the 16 categories. Every vote counts.
I truly appreciate all of you who have voted for me, I’m humbled. If you would like to vote and haven’t here is my WEGO Health link. Thank you!
Once nominations and endorsements close at midnight ET, we’ll calculate the top three endorsed nominees within each award category to automatically move on as a finalist. The subsequent three finalists are selected by our judging panelists. The judging panel is comprised of past award winners, foundations, & organizations. Finalists will be selected based on their relevance to that award & the information you provide in your WEGO Health profile – so make sure it’s complete!
When are finalists announced?
Our first few rounds of judging to determine our finalists will be held throughout the month of August, after all, there are over 8k nominations to review! Once completed, finalists will be announced on our blog and notified via email on September 2nd. From there, we will move into our final round of judging early September, where industry professionals review the finalists and select one winner! Winners will be announced during our virtual online celebration on October 14, 2020.
I’m sending my best wishes to every nominee for the 2020 WEGO Health Awards! Good luck, you deserve the recognition.
So glad you joined me this weekend, I hope you’re doing great! Hearing this song makes me think of the first time I heard Born In The USA by Bruce Springstein and thought you might enjoy going back to the Glory Days.
Melinda
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share; the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the ‘Weekend Music Share‘ banner in your post, and don’t forget to use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
I can’t think of a better year to celebrate International’s Friendship Day! No doubt our friends have helped us keep our heads above water in these difficult COVID times. Be sure to let your friends know how much you appreciate them today.
Survivors Blog Here is celebrating our six anniversary with a big celebration! Come by, say hello, browse and read a few posts while enjoying the refreshments. We could not have made this journey without the thousands of guests on our site. I want to thank each of you and let you know you’ve made an […]
Stacey Chapman has this great page she put together of her favorite chronic illness Bloggers and I’m so humbled to be on the list. I want to call attention to her blog and to the other great writers you may not have discovered yet. Please check out the bloggers she has listed and most of all follow her. You will not be disappointed, Stacey is a shining light in life.
Stacey is positive about life, no matter how many things are stacked on her plate outside of her own health concerns. Right now she is helping her son who had a terrible accident and had to move home for assistance. I know her well enough to know, she will not take time for self-care because she is so dedicated to her family.
Please send her a note of good wishes and encourage her to take five-ten minutes for herself, just to smell a candle, take a hot bath that smells out of this world, or just go outside by herself to think of her life. To think of life after this chaos, to her normal level of living.
Long before I began blogging, I was following Blogs about Chronic Illness, Fibro and CFS/ME. Over the years, I have come across some really great Blogs and met some really great Bloggers. So I wanted to introduce you to them. I am so grateful to have found a plethora of information and encouragement, over the years, from great people like them.
**UPDATE**: The great thing about the blogging world is the support that comes with finding people who live with similar challenges. We know and understand what it is to live like this, when often, others cannot. We may have experienced the same symptoms and can offer advice or suggestions. Sometimes, it simply comes down to the ability to make connections again, after many of us have had to abandon our careers. After nearly a year of being part of this blogging world, I am happy to have met even more awesome bloggers and friends than when I originally wrote this post. As such, I felt it was a great time to add a few names to my already awesome list:
Jayne, at See Jayne Run, holds a special place in my heart. She is full of life and personality and happens to swear as much as I do! Despite all she has lived with and endured, she still keeps a positive and hopeful outlook on life. Which, as we all know, can sometimes be super challenging. Jayne writes a super eloquent Blog at: https://seejaynerun.com/
Terri writes at: https://reclaiminghopecoaching.com/ Terri has been living with Fibro since 2012 and has been writing for nearly three years. I really love hearing from Terri through blogging. She writes positive, helpful posts and takes ownership of having once lost hope in her battle; something we can pretty much all, sadly, relate to.
Pamela Jessen writes about Fibromyalgia, Chronic Pain, Chronic Fatigue and Invisible Illnesses on her Blog; which covers alot of territory! She is a prolific volunteer and is incredibly involved in the chronic illness community, offering a voice for those of us so often underrepresented. Find Pamela’s blog here: https://pamelajessen.com/
Meet Caz at InvisiblyMe-you will absolutely love her!! Caz is 30, has been sick for 11 years and blogs about a myriad of conditions and living life positively with them. You can feel that same positivity and warmth in every exchange you have with Caz. You can check out her Blog here: https://invisiblyme.com/
Kim at I Tripped Over a Stone was one of the very first Bloggers that welcomed me to the Blogging world with open arms and really encouraged me. Kim is a veteran spoonie and aside from writing her blog, maintains a Facebook page and has written a book about Fibro. Please find Kim here, I’m sure she’ll be just as warm to you: https://itrippedoverastone.com/
Melinda is another Blogger who has been super welcoming and supportive. The thing about Melinda is this: she’s fiesty!! Watch out!! Despite Melinda suffering from multiple health issues, she still finds the time to be positive and occasionally silly. Melinda blogs in a couple places. You can find her here: https://lookingforthelight.blog/ and here: https://survivorsbloghere.wordpress.com
Lee Good was my very first Pinterest follower and every exchange I’ve had with her has been really great! She has a tremendous wealth of knowledge and expertise when it comes to Blogging. Lee has her own Blog: http://www.fibrofiles.net/p/about.html but Lee also manages The Fibro Blogger Directory here: http://www.fibrobloggerdirectory.com/p/directory.html The great thing about Lee’s directory is that you can find great Fibro Bloggers from around the world conveniently listed in Lee’s directory.
Claire Saul writes at PainPals Blog. Claire has an award winning Blog and does a great roundup of inspiring weekly blog posts on Mondays. This Monday Magic gives one an opportunity to check out other great blogs, besides Claire’s. But make sure not to skip over her great content! Find Claire here: https://painpalsblog.com/
Michelle writes at The Zebra Pit. What I really love about Michelle’s Blog is that it is super diverse and covers not only Chronic Illness, but also touches upon Mental Health, recipes and health and wellness. Michelle is also super personable and sweet!! Check out Michelle’s Blog here: https://zebrapit.com/
While I haven’t had any specific interactions with the Bloggers who write these Blogs, I have found their Blogs to be very informative! I imagine these Bloggers are just as awesome as their content. Check them out!
If I have forgotten you, please forgive me, this is a dynamic page and will be updated and added to accordingly! I find and meet great Bloggers every day! ❤ Stace
There’s a grave in Dozenhem military cemetery where the inscription on the headstone reads: “G. Blacker. Somerset light Infantry. 9th August 1917. Age 39”. This man existed, and he mattered. This man was a member of our family. He died for his country in World War 1. And like the others who are buried there […]
So glad you joined me this weekend, I hope you’re doing great! I’m sharing a new tune from Kenny Chesney called We Do. It’s a great anthem and has a great summer beat. I like the line “Who gets to live like we do?” No one gets to live like we do!!!!!!!
Re-energize, Re-generate and Seek Wellness
Melinda
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share; the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the ‘Weekend Music Share‘ banner in your post, and don’t forget to use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
The photo I’ve been using was old, back when I was younger and believe much prettier, but reality can burn sometimes. Fifteen years, anti-psychotic medications and chronic illness has changed my looks.
I have always been comfortable with how I looked. That is until three years ago when I gained over 40 pounds from taking a new medication for my Bipolar Disorder. Anyone who takes medications for mental illness can relate to this amount of weight gain in a month’s time.
I write openly, honestly, and from my heart. I have taken many photos over the past couple of months looking for one I could live with. This is the best one so far. It will probably not be the last one. I want you to see the face behind the blog.
I was thrilled to find the product is cruelty-free, vegan, PETA approved, and in a relaxing Lavender scent. I have not tried Hemp cream products before because of the smell and was eager to see how well the cream worked.
This post may contain affiliate links in which I earn a small commission. They don’t cost you extra to use and help fund my coffee habit.
Here’s some information about Aromalief
What about the safety of the product?
Aromalief is made in an FDA registered facility and each ingredient has a Safety Data Sheet and Certificate of Analysis. We buy only high-quality ingredients from reputable suppliers and do our own internal testing for everyone’s peace of mind.
How do you make sure Aromalief is Vegan and Cruelty-free?
Every ingredient that we source comes with a written letter from the ingredient manufacturer that the product does not contain any animal ingredients and that they do not test it on animals. The manufacturing line also has a strict vegan-only policy. Aromalief is proud to have PETA’s Vegan & Cruelty-free designation.
What type of pain is Aromalief good for?
Pains of the body and the soul. This includes muscle, joint, nerve, and chronic pains PLUS stress, anxiety, and sadness. Our ingredients are the best in the market to help relieve pain due to arthritis, back pain, herniated discs, carpal tunnel, tennis elbow, and more. If your type of pain isn’t listed here, we still encourage you to try it. If it doesn’t help you, then simply return it. Have a little faith and try Aromalief.
The cream has a subtle lavender and menthol scent, not overpowering. I have slightly sensitive skin and the cream didn’t cause any sensitivity. There are other scents available that I have not tried. I love this one and keep buying this scent, I need to give another scent a try.
It rubs in quickly, no greasy fingers on the keypad. It has a warming sensation that eases inflammation. I focused on three areas, neuropathy in my feet, sore shoulder muscles, and arthritis in my hands.
Right away I noticed a difference in my feet, they could touch each other without pain. It lasted long enough for me to go to sleep. My shoulders are always tense and I have a problem relaxing at night. I used the cream on my worst shoulder and it did warm up the muscles helping me to relax and sleep.
The thing I love the most about the cream is how well it worked on arthritis in my fingers, I also noticed neuropathy relief in hands. The fact that the cream dries enough to get right back on the computer is a huge bonus.
I have already bought six tubes to make part of my daily self-care routine. Aromalief is a great everyday hand cream too. There are several scents to try, it’s made in The USA and is women-owned. Let’s support our women-owned business when possible.
So glad you joined me this weekend, I hope you are doing great! Have an awesome weekend. I’m sharing music from one of my favorite UK artist James Bay. Please check out his other work, he will blow your mind on the guitar.
Re-energize, Re-generate and Seek Wellness
Melinda
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share; the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the ‘Weekend Music Share‘ banner in your post, and don’t forget to use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
Happy Anniversary with WordPress.com! You registered on WordPress.com 11 years ago. Thanks for flying with us. Keep up the good blogging.
There are days when it feels like yesterday when I started blogging back in 2005, my blog was called Defining Memories. My blog was a personal diary of the grieving process after my Granny died. After a couple of years, my post started to turn towards other memories, many not so good, but ones that needed to be dealt with. I also started openly talking about my mental illness and my life long journey to reach stability.
I realized a name change was in order, my journey was more of a search, sharing my struggles, my wins, and losses. So Looking for the Light was born. I had no idea of the wonderful journey ahead of me. Although sharing the most intimate details of child abuse, sexual assault, and mental illness wasn’t easy, it opened a door to people like me who were on a similar journey. We were at different points in the journey but talked a language each understood.
I’ve grown and the blog is a reflection of my growth towards a healthier relationship with myself, my past, and how I advocate for chronic illnesses including my mental health and living a healthier lifestyle. I’m in a good place. I turn 57 in a few weeks and feel like I’m on level footing.
This year I was nominated for several categories in The WEGO Health Awards which is a huge honor. It affirms I’ve reached someone and that’s why I share. All of your comments and feedback are so important to my growth and understanding. Needless to say, Looking for the Light wouldn’t be where it is today without you.
If I’ve touched your life in some way, I’m so glad we’ve crossed paths. I grow from every conversation and relationship I make.
Looking for the Light will continue to evolve as I grow, gain knowledge, and look for betters ways to share the information as I learn. You are most important to me and shape the growth of the blog. Your responses or lack of let me know what you’re interested in. Please know, I’m always open to suggestions or ideas, use the comment section to share your thoughts and feedback. I read every comment.
I’m going to close with one of my favorite quotes.
“If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.”
So glad you joined me this weekend. In honor of Independence Day, I have picked something special for you. For those who live outside of The United States, The Fourth of July is the most significant national holiday in the United States. It celebrates the Declaration of Independence, adopted on 4 July 1776.
Have a great weekend.
Bell well and take good care of yourself.
Melinda
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share; the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the ‘Weekend Music Share‘ banner in your post, and don’t forget to use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
Virtual hugs. So glad you joined me this weekend. I do take request! Just drop your suggestions in the comment box. Have a great weekend.
Melinda
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share; the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the ‘Weekend Music Share‘ banner in your post, and don’t forget to use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
Sending a special thank you from my heart to all the veterans who have served and lost there lives serving our country fighting for my freedom. Without you, America would not be a free country. I don’t want to live anywhere else.
A simple way to feel at ease is by taking a deep breath and practicing an encouraging mantra. A mantra is a positive statement repeated to promote calmness and concentration. We loving using them to create peace in our day! Today we’re sharing 7 of our favorite daily mantras plus a printable download too 💕
7 Daily Mantras of Encouragement
1. I will seek out the good in an unpleasant situation.
2. I will let go of one thing I cannot change.
3. I will trust my journey even if I may not understand it yet.
4. I will grant myself permission to be me.
5. I will practice kindness toward a stranger.
6. I will be the best version of me.
7. I will continue to check in with myself to ensure I’m on the right path.
CLICK HERE to print these mantras to display on your desk!
Is there a mantra you like to incorporate in your day? Share with us in the comments below!
“Resentment is a relationship killer,” says psychotherapist and couples counselor Susan Adler. If we want happier relationships, we need to drop the blame, own our mistakes, and act in ways that increase connection, not conflict.
This post is part of TED’s “How to Be a Better Human” series, each of which contains a piece of helpful advice from people in the TED community; browse through all the posts here.
“So many relationship problems actually have very little to do with the relationship itself.”
That’s the conclusion — shared in a TEDxOakParkWomen Talk — which Chicago psychotherapist Susan Adler has come to after years of working with couples. In fact, she believes that many of the so-called relationship difficulties she sees have much more to do with the individuals’ own problems.
As it turns out, she says most people have this blindspot: “Instead of seeing that our own unhappiness puts stress on our relationship, we blame our relationship for our unhappiness — we get mad, then we try to get even, then we wonder why things go badly.” And after repeated exposure to this potent blend of blame, resentment and retaliation, as Adler puts it, “you might still be a couple, but you’re no longer a team.”
We could all benefit from having better, closer bonds. “These are pretty tough times,” Adler states. “What if we could inspire each other — especially the people we partner with — to become more thoughtful, more loving versions of ourselves?”
Here, she shares three tips for happier relationships.
Step #1: Express your feelings to your partner — that is, anything but anger
It’s normal to feel angry or upset when your partner doesn’t meet your expectations or lets you down in some way. “Anger is like the bodyguard of emotions,” according to Adler. Many of us rely on it to act as a bouncer, keeping our more difficult, uncomfortable emotions in check. She explains, “We use anger to push away our hurt and our sadness and our vulnerability, and in the process we end up pushing away the people that we love the most.”
The next time your partner does something that makes you see red, stop yourself from immediately going on the attack. Instead, try to separate yourself (even moving to the bathroom or a corner of the room can be enough), take a deep breath, and ask yourself: ‘What am I really feeling underneath all this anger?’” After you’ve had some time to settle down, let your partner know what’s going on for you. “Expressing anything other than frustration or anger can bring you closer,” Adler says, and help you start a conversation — and not another argument.
Step #2: When your partner spins out of control, take the high road
The day will inevitably come when your partner behaves unwisely — they’re irritable, grumpy, unreasonable, testy, argumentative, prickly, you name it. It’s natural to want to respond in a similar vein. Resist the temptation, and remind yourself — as Adler puts it — “You can go down that rabbit hole with them, or you can make a different choice.”
And what is that different choice? “Challenge yourself to be helpful, patient, caring and kind,” says Adler. “These are all factors that research indicates make relationships happier.”For example, she suggests, “Instead of yelling, ‘Oh my god, what is wrong with you?, stop, take a breath, and imagine saying, ‘I’m so sorry you’re upset … How can I help?’ There is nothing to fight about if you’re being helpful.”
One common-sense rule of thumb from Adler: “As the saying goes, ‘The hallmark of a good relationship is when only one person goes crazy at a time.’” And the more that you can demonstrate the benefits of staying calm when your partner isn’t, the more your behavior can influence your partner to do the same when you’re in a spin.
Step #3: Express your to-dos and wishes in the form of “I would love it” statements
It’s no secret that communicating your needs is the key to a healthy relationship, but how you approach that communication is just as important. For instance, let’s say that you’re at your wit’s end because your partner is cancelling date night yet again because they have to work late. Your inclination would be to tell them, “You have absolutely no consideration for my feelings!” or “You never make time for me!”, even though you know those remarks set the stage for a blazing-hot argument.
Adler’s recommendation: Communicate what you want from them by telling them what you’d like to happen. So you might say something like, “I would love it if we could figure out a night that works for both of us to spend some time together.”
There is a caveat to this approach. Be careful with your “I would love it” statements, warns Adler. “Don’t say negative things like ‘‘I would love it if you would stop being such a jerk.’ That’s not positive; that’s criticism,” she explains. “And don’t say things that focus on the past, like ‘I would love it if you would have cleaned the kitchen yesterday’ … Focus on moving forward and being positive. This is how you set your partner and yourself and your relationship up for success. This is how you get your needs met.”
While these techniques can be highly effective, according to Adler, “these skills aren’t
for every situation and they’re not for every couple. Frankly, not every relationship should survive; some are just way too unhealthy.”
In the end, these steps are all about creating more opportunities for connection and communication, avoiding acting from a place of annoyance and anger, and recognizing how you might be letting your individual stresses and worries affect your relationship. Adler says, “When we take responsibility and we value one another, our new attitude can actually inspire our … partner to want to do the same thing.”
Looking for the Light 