Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

From Family Cookbook-Broccolli Salad

The family cookbook contains recipes, my Gramps & Granny used often and is the type of food I grew up on. Good ole Southern food like my Gramps dumplings, to Grannies pecan pie.

 

 

Broccoli Salad

What You Need

4 cups Brocolli 

1/4 cup raisins

1/4 cup onion green tops and all

Bacon bits or Bacon crisp

1 TSP Vinegar 

1/4 cup sugar

3/4 cup Mayonnaise

There are no instructions, to me it means, mix well together and serve cold.

This is a great snack to take to a party or family gathering.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

How to Help Someone with a Chronic Illness

It is a big responsibility to help someone with a chronic illness. Depending on the severity of the situation, there will be many changes to your life and theirs. This is true for a professional caregiver, family member, or good friend. There are also some common mistakes that people make when trying to help. Don’t worry; most of us are in an impossible situation when caring for someone. From being aware of what to say to looking after yourself, here are some care tips.

Be Prepared to Act Fast

Many chronic illnesses can take a turn in an instant. Epileptic seizures, diabetic comas, and falling over because of a back injury are some examples. Knowing what to do as fast as possible can mean the difference between helping someone or serious consequences. A CPR and first aid certification may not sound like much, but it will be helpful in the case that something bad happens. It’s all about a fast response. Speed and skill do save lives!

Be Aware of What You Say

Even with the best intentions, we can say things we really shouldn’t. You may even make ableist remarks without realizing it, which could upset or offend the patient. This would be classed as discrimination in a court. So be careful what you see. Here are some common examples:

  • “You are too young to have a condition like that.”
  • “You can just push through it if you try.”
  • “Maybe you would be better if you exercised or ate well.”
  • “Everyone has aches and pains sometimes.”

It is best to keep your opinions to yourself when caring for someone with a chronic illness. Even with the best intentions, you may say something that can be taken the wrong way. It can also be more challenging to care for someone when there is some kind of tension between you.

Help Someone with a Chronic Illness with Privacy

As a caregiver, you are not bound by the same confidentiality rules as a doctor. However, that doesn’t mean the entire world needs to know about the issues a patient has. It is hard enough for most people with chronic conditions. One survey found that 56% of people with epilepsy feel it is a stigma. And 35% have faced direct discrimination. The private conditions of patients should remain just that. If they want to tell people, then it is up to them and not caregivers.

Be Present So You Can Engage Better

Engagement is a key factor when it comes to caring for most patients. Because of the debilitating symptoms of chronic illnesses, it is even more vital for chronic patients. Many chronic illnesses come with stigmas and some cannot live a normal life. This causes issues like depression. Yet, often, all it takes is for someone to be a good friend and just listen to what a patient has to say. Communication can also help you become a better caregiver to the patient.

Use Touch as Encouragement

We live in a world where we have almost been conditioned not to touch people. There are very good reasons for this. But as a caregiver, the art of touch can be a skilled way to reassure and encourage someone. Appropriate touching includes a gentle tap on the elbow with some kind words. Holding a patient’s hand through pain provides reassurance. And even a gentle hug can make someone’s day. These cause genuine hormonal changes that make someone feel better.

Discuss Specific Needs with the Patient

No two chronic illness cases are the same, even for patients with the same condition. This is because everyone is different. All situations are different; medication requirements will be different, and living arrangements will be different. It always helps to discuss specific needs with the patient, their family, and other caregivers if the patient cannot speak for themselves. This also includes any boundaries that must be respected between the patient and the caregiver.

Help Someone with a Chronic Illness with Self-Management

Taking on the role of a caregiver is not an easy task. It requires dedication to the life of another, as well as your own. Therefore, self-management is vital for getting the job done well.

Learn as much as you can about the illness

It is challenging to help someone with a condition you don’t understand or know nothing about. You don’t need to become a doctor. But learning about a specific chronic illness means you know what to expect, understand what can happen, and how to assist when a situation arises. 

Understand the medications you may have to handle

Most chronic illnesses require a lot of medication. Pain medication, heart stabilizers, and anticonvulsants are common. Misuse of medication is dangerous and will cause severe problems to a patient’s health. It is vital you organize medication and follow the script.

Take care of yourself to take care of others

It’s an old saying, but you can’t take care of someone else without first taking care of yourself. Poor self-care poses a threat to a patient. Focus, attention, and mood will be affected by a poor diet, for example. Ensure you turn up in as good a state as you can to be a good caregiver.

You can also offer support to patients by teaching self-care with a chronic illness. They cannot rely on someone else 100%.So helping them learn about their own illness and the medication they need will help them become a little more independent for the times they are alone.

Acknowledge Your Emotions

Becoming a caregiver means giving up some parts of your life. A patient with a debilitating chronic illness may depend on you for many things. In some cases, it can be like having two lives with double the work. Therefore, it helps to address your own personal feelings about the situation. If you are not invested emotionally, it can be hard to do the job correctly. Taking on too much is a common mistake. Get help from another caregiver if you can’t emotionally cope.

Don’t be Afraid to Ask Questions 

We tend to stay quiet most of the time as no one likes being questioned too much. However, questions are vital when caring for someone with a chronic illness. Otherwise, how else do you know what to do in a given situation? The questions don’t need to be complex. A simple “What do you need right now?” is more than enough to meet the needs of a patient. The trick is to limit the intrusion and use your better judgment as to when to ask the patient a pertinent question.

Carefully Listen to Healthcare Professionals

As a caregiver, you can learn a lot about an illness. And this is an excellent thing to do. It will help you become a better carer for a patient. However, you must remember that you are not a medical expert! Some healthcare professionals don’t communicate well, and this can be stressful. However, learning to work with them is the best thing for the patient. If you feel that there is a lack of expert care or a course of action that is harming a patient, you can report this.

Help Someone with a Chronic Illness with Self-Care

Your own self-care is essential as a caregiver. But what about the patient? Yes, helping a patient with self-care is a necessary part of the job. Some chronic illness patients also experience mental health issues, around 37% in fact. This can affect how well they look after themselves on a day-to-day basis. Helping with personal hygiene, getting some outdoor time, and meal preparation will help form an enhanced self-care plan and gain a little more independence.

Try Not to Offer Advice

Offering medical advice should only be limited to medical health professionals. But even general advice won’t help the situation. Offering advice, even if it is well intended, can make a patient feel worse. So, you must be careful about what you say to a patient. Here are some ideas:

  • People with chronic illnesses may need to vent their concerns, so just listen.
  • Unsolicited advice can be taken as criticism and make someone feel guilty.
  • Be a good friend and listen to what a person with an illness has to say.
  • Engage with a patient from their perspective and not your own.

It can be hard not to offer advice, as it is a very human thing to do. However, most patients just want to talk and have someone listen. You will be a better friend and caregiver by doing just that. A patient will appreciate you engaging on their level and listening to what they have to say.

Look for Signs of a Worsening Condition

There are various symptoms that come with chronic illnesses. And they are pretty easy to spot when you understand what they are. However, there are some hidden symptoms that can be more challenging and indicate a patient’s issues are getting worse. Observation, conversation, and asking questions will help. Some of the common signs that a chronic illness is getting worse include stress and anxiety, not getting good sleep, and loss of focus and concentration.

Summary

You need to be prepared to act fast with CPR or first aid when assigned to help someone with a chronic illness. It also helps to learn about the condition, understand medication, and take care of yourself. These help spot the symptoms that a chronic condition might be getting worse.

This is a collaborative post.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

From Family Cookbook-Granny’s Vanilla Cream Filling

The family cookbook contains recipes, my Gramps & Granny used often and is the type of food I grew up on. Good ole Southern food like my Gramps dumplings, to Grannies pecan pie.

This is a versatile filling and it’s good for Cream Pie. I’m writing the recipe like my Granny wrote, it’s fun to see her writing. Photo is included at the bottom.

Vanilla Cream Filling

Mix 1/4 sifted flour

1/2 cup sugar

1/4 TSP salt

Add slowly and blend well. 1 1/2 cups milk

Beat 3 eggs hocks and mix in

Cook until it thickens, about 5 minutes, stirring all the time

When done add 2 TBS butter & 1/2 TSP Vanilla

This recipe was written on a notepad from where my BFF worked at the time. I must have been 25.

Enjoy!

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

7 Ways To Practice Mindfulness By Guest Blogger Mental Health Advocate & Personal Mindset Coach

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Deep Thoughts

In this fast-paced social media world, it can be difficult to find the time to look within or back in time. I hope you find these quotes and questions interesting. So glad you stopped by today!

Continue reading “Deep Thoughts”

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward · Survivor

The Messy, Complicated Truth About Grief

IDEAS TED TALKS

May 1, 2019 / Nora McInerny

Mourning the loss of a loved one isn’t efficient, compact or logical, and it changes us forever, says writer Nora McInerny. She explains why.

I quit my job shortly after my husband Aaron died in 2014 following three years with brain cancer. It made sense in the moment, but I needed money to keep my son and myself alive so I went to a networking event to hopefully make connections. I was introduced to a successful woman in her early 70s who everyone referred to as a “legend.” She wanted to meet me for coffee and I thought, “What could she possibly see in me?”

What she saw in me was herself. She had been 16 when her boyfriend died. He was her first love and they were teenagers in a different era, when it was perfectly plausible that you would be married after high school. Instead, he went to the hospital one day and never came back. She learned later that he’d died of cancer, which his parents had kept secret from him and from his friends. They didn’t know how to talk about it, and they didn’t want him or his friends to worry.

This boy had died decades ago. She was married, a mother and a grandmother. And she told me about his death as if it had happened weeks ago, as if she were still 16, still shocked and confused that her beloved was gone and she’d not had a chance to say goodbye. Her grief felt fresher than mine did, because I didn’t feel anything yet.

The only guarantee about grief is that however you feel right now, you will not always feel this way.

Time is irrelevant to grief. I cannot tell you that it will feel better or worse as time goes by; I can just tell you that it feels better and worse as time goes by. The only guarantee is that however you feel right now, you will not always feel this way.

There are days when Aaron’s death feels so fresh that I cannot believe it. How can he be gone? How can it be that he will forever be 35 years old? Likewise, there are days when his death feels like such a fact of my life I can hardly believe that he was ever not dead. I thought I would be able to control the faucets of my emotions — that certain days (his birthday, his deathiversary) would be drenched in meaning, and most days would not.

I wish that were the case; I wish we could relegate all our heaviest grieving to specific days of the year. It would certainly be more efficient. Instead, I know that I have some friends who will understand perfectly when I call them to say that the entire world feels heavy, that I’ve been crying for reasons I can’t quite explain other than that I am alive and Aaron is not, and the reality of that happened to hit me in the deodorant aisle, when I spotted Aaron’s favorite antiperspirant. I bought a stick for myself, so that my armpits and his armpits would be forever connected.

In 2017, Lady Gaga released her Joanne album, named for an aunt who died before she was even born. The titular song is 100 percent guaranteed to make you cry, and it’s written about someone Lady Gaga never even met. In her Netflix documentary, Gaga: Five Foot Two, she plays the song for her grandmother and bawls uncontrollably. Her grandmother listens to the song, watches Gaga weep, and thanks her for the song. She does not shed a tear. Their grief — even for the same person — is different. The roots of grief are boundless. They can reach back through generations. They are undeterred by time, space or any other law you try to apply to them.

The woman I met had lived far more of her life without that boyfriend than with him. Time had not healed that wound, and it never will.

A common adage is “time heals all wounds.” It is true physically, which I am grateful for because I am typing this while hoping the tip of my thumb fuses back together after an unfortunate kitchen accident involving me attempting to cook a potato. But it is not true mentally or emotionally. Time is cruel. Time reminds me of how long Aaron has been gone, which isn’t a comfort to me.

The woman I met for coffee had lived far more of her life without that boyfriend than she had with him. Her grandchildren were now the same age she’d been when she lost him. Time had not healed that wound, and it never will. If you’re still sad, that’s because it’s still real. They are still real. Time can change you, and it will. But it can’t change them, and it won’t.

And here’s some advice for the grief adjacent. For you, time marches on, steadily and reliably. A year is just a year. A day is just a day. You are not aware of the number of days it’s been since they took their last breath or said their last word. You’re not mentally calculating when the scales of time tip, and more of your life has been lived without them than was lived with them.

We do not move on from the dead people we love or the difficult situations we’ve lived through. We move forward, but we carry it all with us.

You may be tempted to tell the grieving to move on. After all, it’s been weeks. Years. Decades. Surely this cannot still be the topic of conversation. Surely, at this point, they must have moved on? Nope.

But, you may be thinking, “This person has gotten married again or had another baby! They have so many good things in their life, this one awful thing can’t possibly still be relevant … can it?”

We do not move on from the dead people we love or the difficult situations we’ve lived through. We move forward, but we carry it all with us. Some of it gets easier to bear, some of it will always feel Sisyphean. We live on, but we are not the same as we once were. This is not macabre or depressing or abnormal. We are shaped by the people we love, and we are shaped by their loss.

“Why are they still sad?” you may think. Because this is a sad thing, and always will be.

Excerpted from the new book The Hot Young Widows Club: Lessons on Survival from the Front Lines of Grief by Nora McInerny. Reprinted with permission from TED Books/Simon & Schuster. © 2019 Nora McInerny.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Nora McInerny has a lot of jobs. She is the reluctant cofounder of the Hot Young Widows Club (a program of her nonprofit, Still Kickin), the bestselling author of the memoirs “It’s Okay To Laugh”, “Crying Is Cool Too”, and “No Happy Endings” and the host of the award-winning podcast “Terrible, Thanks for Asking.” McInerny is a master storyteller known for her dedication to bringing heart and levity to the difficult and uncomfortable conversations most of us try to avoid, and also for being very tall. 

 Melinda

Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

From Family Cookbook-White Mountain Icing

The family cookbook contains recipes, my Gramps & Granny used often and is the type of food I grew up on. Good ole Southern food like my Gramps dumplings, to Grannies pecan pie.

I’m writing this recipe like Granny did and including a photo of it at the end.

White Mountain Icing

2 cups granulated sugar

2 tbsp White Karo Syrup

1/2 teaspoon Vanilla

2 egg whites

1/2 cup water

Cook sugar, water, and syrup until it spins a 6-8 inch thread. Beat egg whites until stiff, pour hot mixture into the egg whites slowly. Beating all the while by hand. Beat until icing stands in stiff peaks. Stir in Vanilla and spread on cake.

 

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Men & Womens Health

Let’s Do Something Productive This Earth Day

Instead of celebrating why don’t we get productive in helping the earth.

There are a million ways, including the smallest step you can take and pay attention to what you buy.

Our Earth has sustained so much damage over time and it appears to be at a crisis level. Please look for all the ways to can recycle in your area.

 

Melinda

Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Survivor · Trauma

Why It’s Imperative To Read All Data Breach Letters *Beware!

When I wrote about Data Breaches and Identity Theft in the past I  never dreamed it would happen to me. These breaches are happening every day and our identity is at risk if enough personal information is released.

I’ve received many of these letters as I’m sure you have to, they are getting more sophisticated and you must know what exact information was released. In the past companies were pretty vague about what data is missing but I think the laws may have changed.

The letters that followed included what type of information was taken which is essential.

Two weeks ago I received a letter from Orsini Pharmaceuticals that all of my private information was involved in the breach! Wow, I a waiting target for Identify Theft. If I had not read the fine print my life could have been ruined by Identity theft.

I have spent hours every day since receiving the letter alerting the necessary companies, changing every password, some I had to change my user name as well. I will look over my shoulder from now on.

I haven’t heard of this company and after a visit to their website, it was clear I had not taken any of their medications. WTF! Why did they have my info in the first place? Did someone share it with them or did they buy the list?

I started reading the press releases about the breach and found that the breach happened three months ago but I’m just hearing about it. Interestingly many people were offered 1-2 years paid protection but I wasn’t. Lawsuits are flying in every direction, that is a thought for another day.

My plan is to write Tom Cappetta, Vice President, Pharmacy Operations, and ask him several questions, most importantly why they had my information. It’s a question I deserve to know yet will not get an answer on. I’m also asking for 2 years of total protection.

We’ll see where the letter takes me.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Travel

Discovering the Charm of Chipata By Guest Blogger Wandering In Faith

 
Melinda
 
 
Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Blogger Highlight-Willowdot21

Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their site with you. This week we highlight the blog Willowdot21.    

willowdot21

An insight to a heart mind and soul.

 

This is my chance to display my poetry and pros . In a way it is mainly for my own expression of the pent up feelings and stress that usually pins me into a corner on a daily basis! My profile tells you all you need to know about me , my poems and stories, I think tell you even more. I hope you can enjoy my work, feel free to drop in at any time you are always welcome.

We have followed each other for a long time and enjoyed her posts and conversations so much that it was time to tell you. about her post. 

She participates in several challenges each week which are fun to read. Get on over there! 

Melinda

Looking for the Light

 

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Moving Forward · Survivor

18 Years Old, Married, Divorced and Still Resentful 32 Years Later

Original post 7/2014

In life, there are times when memories seem like yesterday and others a lifetime ago. This is a lifetime ago memory buried in deep resentment and anger. It’s an oxymoron. I’ve had difficult challenges, growing up, and staying alive was a challenge. I’m at peace in life now. I worked through the bitterness of abuse but forgot this memory I buried so deeply that I forgot about it until yesterday.

I was married in August of 1981, I was 18 years old.

We played house until it got rough, and the decision to get a divorce came on the way to his parents for Thanksgiving. We didn’t separate, just kept skating on thin ice. Spring rolls around and race season starts. Where the money came from to pay for the races was a mystery to me and there wasn’t even prize money!

One of my dearest friends died around the same time, an elderly man who was having a heart attack hit him at a high rate of speed. Steve and I dated and remained close friends after breaking up. He was a special person, the type who brings sparkle to your life. For reasons I’ll never understand his mother called and asked me to come over to talk about Steve. I spent weeks consoling her and internalizing my grief.

The stress was more than my body could handle. I had a miscarriage two weeks later. It was a Friday night, I had no idea I was pregnant nor did I know what a miscarriage was. I’m in excruciating pain, still not processing why there was so much blood. We arrive at the hospital and since it’s Friday, several shooting victims are ahead of me. I lay across several chairs, bleeding and crying. Finally in a room but still waiting, I go to the bathroom.

I lost the baby in the toilet at the hospital and a part of me died that night, it’s a place inside I have never been before or since. Staring at the fetus, it was developed since I was 4 months along, it looked like a miniature baby. Even now it brings up feelings I don’t understand. I walked out of the bathroom, dead inside and when a nurse walked by, I said there was a baby in the toilet and kept walking.

The nurse then brings the fetus into the room in a jar and puts it by my head. Can I hand you a knife so you can stab me? I stayed overnight, and my husband went home. He never acknowledged the baby, in fact, he didn’t say anything. He was scheduled to leave for a race the next morning, and I knew he was not canceling his plans. I had to call someone the next morning to come get me.

Looking back it was a blessing. I was not ready for single motherhood and the cycle of abuse could have repeated itself. I know this in my heart. I don’t understand the resentment. I’m 50 yrs. old, and 18 was a long time ago. I’ve moved on from worse pain physically and mentally.

The only logic I can find is the baby came out of my body, I saw it clearly because no blood came out. The resentment is he never acknowledged the baby, my pain and loss, held me, let me cry, told me it was ok, or canceled the race.

I’ve never talked about this experience, it was truly locked away. I have to work through the feelings of resentment. That’s not who I am today.

Warrior

Today, Sunday, April 2024, I cried and went to a painful place reading this.

 

 

 

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward · Survivor

You’re Stupid She Said

Originally posted in 2022

You’re stupid, that’s what my mother always said to me growing up. Stupid, like an idiot, like a person that can’t do anything? Is that what you mean? I would think to myself. This was not a rare occurrence but daily. She wanted me to believe it and it pissed her off that I would not give in. 

One morning I walked into our kitchen and she yelled at me “You stupid slut!” She didn’t like the jeans I had on. So she proceeds to berate me and walk toward me. I’m 12 years old and have not hit her back until this day. 

She comes over and grabs my hair and starts yelling and yelling while hitting me and pushing me. I snapped and hit her right in the head. Like lightning out of nowhere, in comes my step-father who is 6’2″ and 220 and he hits me right in the mouth. Busting up my entire mouth since I had braces, and blood all over my face. 

Think about it, a grown man hitting a 90-pound 12-year-old girl with a mouth full of braces. I’m not sure I said a word the whole time, just let it play out like the other times only today was the first time he hit me. 

I walked to my room and by lunch, I was black and blue. Of course, I couldn’t go to school because the teachers would see the damage, and our storybook life would end. My step-father came home from work with a hamburger for lunch and I couldn’t eat. What the hell was he thinking!  

 

 

I was able to go to school three days later and still had visible marks around my mouth. I acted like nothing was wrong until my music teacher called me into the hall and asked what happened to my mouth. I said the door hit me, and she was insistent that I go see the School Counselor. I told her that I would not go talk to anyone and she stood me down in that hallway until I went to the counselor’s office. 

Walking through the counselor’s door, I said I had to call my Granny first. I had never told them my mother was abusing me. So I wanted her to know that I was in trouble. She would know what that meant for me. More beatings. She had her suspicions but never could pin down anything concrete

The next day Child Protective Services showed up at school and I got called out of class for extensive questioning. Now it was going to get very ugly and I would be on the losing end.  

I told them everything that happened and that hitting me was commonplace. I answered their questions as they filled out the forms and that was it. Until one day after school, two women showed up at our house. Now it’s really going to get ugly. 

They come in and my mother is so calm and cool. She asked them why they were there and what the problem was. My life took a dive for the worst and I thought it couldn’t get any worse. My mother proceeded to tell them that I was mentally unstable and that she was in the process of having me committed to the State Mental Hospital. They leave completely satisfied while I wait in my room. She had lied to them right out the door. 

After my step-father hit me what could she do to make it hurt worse? Kill me? She knocked me around the room and set off a chain of events. Not long after that fateful day, I got permission to live with my dad who was 50 miles away. I packed up a few belongings, told my brother goodbye, and off in silence I went.  

I bought this Warhol years ago, it hangs in my office and it’s a positive reinforcement. 

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Young Love

I woke to the sound of knocking at the door

I grabbed my robe and was surprised who was at my door

My ex-boyfriend and BFF

He had come over to check on me since I wasn’t at work

I head to the bathroom to brush my teeth

He lightly grabbed my hand and took my robe off

We stand there for a minute

He leads me to the bedroom

We were totally silent

We dressed and he walked out the door

I never asked if he loved me but I know he did

I was 19 and still in love with him

Melinda

Photo by Vlada Karpovich on Pexels.com
Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward

How to Start the Healing Process When You Have Been Sexually Assaulted

Dealing with the aftermath of sexual assault is a long and often difficult journey, but you know what? Every long journey starts with a single step, and you can start to heal, when you are ready, by making a small move on the journey to recovery. 

That being the case, here are some of the most vital steps to help you heal after you have been assaulted. Start where you can, do not rush yourself and, most of all, be kind to yourself every step of the way.

  1. Acknowledge Your Experience

The first step is often the hardest: acknowledging what happened. It’s okay to feel a storm of emotions—anger, sadness, confusion—it’s all normal. Recognizing your feelings is not about finding immediate peace but about giving yourself permission to feel whatever you need to feel. You’re not ignoring the wound; you’re starting to treat it.

  1. Reach Out for Support

Healing is not a journey you should walk alone. Reach out to friends, family, or support groups who can provide emotional scaffolding on your healing journey. Sometimes, just talking about what happened with someone who listens without judgment can bring immense relief. If opening up to loved ones feels too daunting, organizations and helplines can offer support with confidentiality and care.

  1. Consider Professional Help

Navigating the emotional aftermath of sexual assault can feel like trying to solve a Rubik’s cube, blindfolded. This is where professionals such as therapists or counselors come in—they’re trained to help you work through complex emotions and trauma. Think of them as guides in a tangled forest who can help you find your way through.

Photo by RDNE Stock project on Pexels.com

  1. Engage with the Legal Process

It’s always hard to decide whether or not you want to report your sexual assault, but if you think it would be an empowering thing for you to do, and you feel like you will be able to talk to the police and deal with the sexual assault defense team okay then it could be a milestone that will help you start to get on the rod to recovery. Just make sure you have lots of support when you make that report, and throughout the ongoing process. If you don’t feel you can report, then do not beat yourself up about it – you need to do what’s right for you.

  1. Create a Self-Care Routine

Healing is not only about dealing with the trauma but also about taking care of your overall well-being. Create a self-care routine that nourishes both your body and mind. Whether it’s yoga, reading, or spending time in nature, find activities that bring you peace and a sense of normalcy. Self-care is your personal recharge button—press it regularly.

  1. Set Boundaries

After an assault, your sense of personal space and safety can feel violated. Setting boundaries is a way to reclaim control. Be clear about what you are and aren’t comfortable with—this could be with people, places, or activities. It’s okay to say no; it’s okay to need space. You’re the boss of your boundaries.

  1. Celebrate Small Victories

On the road to recovery, every small step is a victory worth celebrating. It could be as simple as getting through a day without a flashback, or as big as attending a social event. Acknowledge and celebrate these milestones. They are signs of your strength and resilience.

Recovery is possible, but take it one step at a time and look after yourself!

This is a collaborative post.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

I’m Home And You Will Not Believe Who Kept Me Company

I had some shocking support show up at my treatment this morning, like Adele, The Eagles, and my friend Blake Shelton. Blake reminded me that I have protection every day with this song!

Thank you for all the messages of support, I took them with me in my heart.

Blake Shelton – God’s Country (Official Music Video)

 

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

My Antibody Infusion Treatments Start Tomorrow

I’ve started filling my travel bag and getting all the small items ready like a large bag of grapes for the cooler along with 2 huge Smartwaters and a bag of dry snacks. My travel bag barely fits a blanket, travel pillow, and a couple of small items. Which forces me to take 3 bags, crazy but I’m not dragging down a suitcase. 

The first treatment is between 4-7 hours, and I am preparing for anything including barf bags. Maybe I’ll get lucky and not have to use them.

I’ll be back as soon.

Whatever your religion or beliefs, please say a prayer for me, I need strength.

Thank you!

Melinda

 

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

Lyme Disease Journal Entry Five **Scoreboard Lyme-One, I’m Still Standing**

Original post-2014

This week I want to give a brief overview on Gluten Free Diet and Epstein Barr Virus. Both were the top searches in last week’s post. I hope the information is helpful. The CDC is a great place to get up-to-date information.

Gluten-Free What does it mean?

My doctor follows The Mayo Clinic’s gluten-free diet: What’s allowed, what’s not. All information was taken from The Mayo Clinic outline.

A gluten-free diet is a diet that excludes the protein gluten. Gluten is found in grains such as wheat, barley, rye, and triticale (a cross between wheat and rye). Gluten causes inflammation in the small intestines. Switching to a gluten-free diet is a big change at first, it takes some getting used to. Many specialty grocery stores sell gluten-free foods. We shop at Whole Foods and have found a large selection of gluten-free products, including brownies. Here are some surprises I discovered. My husband eats many gluten-free products but not exclusively. The Mayo Clinic strongly warns to watch for cross-contamination. An example is if one is eating gluten-free bread and the other is not, the toaster could cause cross-contamination. Another contamination point is using the same utensils to cook gluten-free and non-gluten-free. Yes, it is that detailed. Be careful with grains such as oats which can get contaminated with wheat during the growing and processing. I treated myself to ham lunch meat and cheese last week. Wrong, no processed meats. You have to look for vitamins and medicines that use gluten as a binding agent. Remembering all this information is why I have started eating only items marked gluten-free. I don’t want to work that hard. A gluten-free diet helps people with Lyme Disease to reduce inflammation in the body.

Epstein Barr Virus 

The information is from The Centers for Disease Control. Epstein-Barr virus (EBV), also known as human herpesvirus 4, is a member of the herpes virus family. It is one of the most common human viruses. EBV is found all over the world. Most people get infected with EBV at some point in their lives. EBV spreads most commonly through bodily fluids, primarily saliva. EBV can cause infectious mononucleosis, also called mono, and other illnesses. After you get an EBV infection, the virus becomes latent (inactive) in your body. In some cases, the virus may reactivate. This does not always cause symptoms, but people with compromised immune systems are more likely to develop symptoms if EBV reactivates.

EBV is spread by saliva through Using the same eating utensils, and toothbrushes, sharing drinks and food, kissing and having contact with toys children have drooled on

The first time you get infected with EBV (primary EBV infection) you can spread the virus for weeks and even before you have symptoms. Once the virus is in your body, it stays there in a latent (inactive) state. If the virus reactivates, you can potentially spread EBV to others no matter how much time has passed since the initial infection.

General challenges:

The neuropathy in the legs and hands is like getting stabbed with big needles. My hands and legs go to sleep very quickly while sitting down.

The fatigue has taken its toll over the past four days. I have spent more time sleeping than awake. Today is the first time I’ve felt good in a week.

I have revolted against the supplements this week. With my sleep schedule, it wasn’t worth trying to keep up.

The blinding headaches are a daily occurrence, the pain meds help, not crazy about taking pain pills. I will get well and don’t want a drug habit to break.

The edema causes my ankle bone to disappear and my legs to tighten up to the leg. Anything I bump into leaves a huge bruise.

The lab work did show Chronic Lyme Disease which means I’ve had Lyme for a year or more. I have to wait until 9/17/14 to get the complete run down.

I still have several tests to complete for the Cardiologist. Didn’t do well on the pulmonary part of the stress test. One breathing exercise only scored 55%.

What’s to come? I have no idea.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

What To Do Before Starting A Home Garden

A home garden offers loads of benefits beyond boosting your home’s curb appeal and increasing your property’s value. It plays a significant role in improving your physical and mental health. It also helps reduce your expenses (depending on what you grow in your garden) and establish sustainable measures in your home. But if you’re new to gardening and thinking about creating one for your home for the first time, the last thing you want to do is jump right into planting a garden. Here are some things you need to do before you start a home garden. 

Photo by Yan Krukov on Pexels.co

The first thing you want to do is consider the best place to grow your garden. Of course, this will depend on your home and how much space you have. Be sure that your ideal spot offers at least 6 hours of direct sunlight daily. Therefore, it would be best if you took the time to observe your preferred spaces to figure out which spots receive the most sunlight. If you have too much shade in your yard, all hope is not lost, as there are two options you can try. On the one hand, you can remove the source of shade, depending on what it is. On the other hand, you can consider growing indoor plants that thrive with little sunlight instead.

After deciding on the best spot, clear the ground of weeds, dead trees, stumps, etc. You can hire experts to remove some of these stubborn obstacles if necessary. You can visit websites like duvaltreeandbobcat.com for experienced and safe tree removal services.

The next thing you want to do is decide on what plants you want to grow. Would you like to create a vegetable garden to supplement your grocery needs? Or do you want to spruce up your curb appeal with lush flowers? Knowing the purpose of the garden will help you decide what to grow in it. If you want to grow a garden for food, think about what vegetables, fruits, or herbs you need the most. Also, consider which food items are difficult or expensive to purchase and see if you can grow them. If your garden is for curb appeal, think about what plants or flower pieces you love the most and can thrive in your location.

Gardening can be very relaxing, but it can also be very tasking, especially if you don’t have the right garden tools. You can take advantage of many tools, facilities, and equipment in the modern gardening world to make growing your plants easier. Of course, you don’t need to invest in a comprehensive range of garden equipment when you’re a beginner. You only need the basic and most essential tools, such as a rake, hand trowel, hoe, spade, garden fork, and pruning shears. Also, before considering gardening, be sure you’re willing to devote the time and effort a home garden demands. 

This is a collaborative post.

Repost

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Blogger Highlight-Feel Something Poetry

Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their site with you. This week we highlight the blog of Feel Something Poetry.   

Feel Something Poetry

 My name is Maranda Russell. I’m a 41 year old poet. I like to write and share poetry that is emotional, direct, and thought-provoking. I hope you’ll follow me! I do have some poetry books available on Amazon if you are interested in reading an entire book of mine!

I discovered Maranda when she started following me last week and I can say she loves writing.

Melinda

Looking for the Light

 

Communicating · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Survivor · Trauma

How Does Domestic Violence Turn To Murder/Suicide?

 

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Last week a murder-suicide happened in the neighborhood, the house behind us. I was very ill and on pain meds, my husband shielded me from conversations with the Police and the family. I felt the pain of my father’s suicide but quickly focused on the kids in our house.  

The father had been released from jail for domestic violence, but he first stopped to buy a gun, then went home, killing his wife and himself in front of the kids.

My husband came upstairs saying two kids were downstairs, they thought the father killed their mother. I went down to get them something to drink and speak to them, nothing heavy, a half hug. The kids were 8,10,17 years old. My heart was breaking for them and their future pain. I offered some snacks and went back upstairs. By now there are 4 to 6 Police officers in the house. One said the  17-year-old ran out of the house when he heard the shot, and police were surrounding the house. The police knocked on the family’s door and he shot himself as they entered the house.

Both parents are dead. How do tell three kids their parents are dead. Your father killed your mother and then himself. Several officers were fighting back tears. I lost my breath thinking of the kid’s future. The girl called family members, and they were on the way to our house.

Once the family arrived, a few facts came out. The parents had been separated for some time. He was in jail for Domestic Violence. His mother bailed him out and he went straight home. She was helping a son she loved, chances are violence never crossed her mind.

The Police took the kids and family to the Children’s Advocacy Center. The center will start therapy and offer help from trained professionals.

After 11:00 a.m. two guys looking professional were talking to a neighbor. I went over to see if I could help. I didn’t know they were reporters. I shared how little I know. They wanted to do an interview, right or wrong I did. I could only say over and over, that my heart breaks for the three kids, they don’t understand, they’re in shock and they have no parents.

I ask God to carry the three kids in his hands, to help them through the shock, and to cradle them when they need you most. The traumatized kids will need help coping with the unbearable pain and need help working through trauma which can take years.

Xx  M

Repost from 2016.

Fun · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

My Favorite Self-Care Treat Is Enjoying The Calming Effects Of Candles

An upgrade to my self-care treats right next to my office chair. So worth it! :)

 

 

 

Diptyque candles are more expensive but once you smell their fragrances, see how long-lasting they are, and unlike most candles, they melt evenly to the very bottom with minimal care. 

While looking for ways to upgrade my self-care treats, I bought one to see if it lived up to the hype, they surpassed exceptions. Have you seen a candle that melts evenly all the way to the bottom? It made me think of all the candles I’ve had that melted down the middle leaving a cave effect. That is a waste of money. 

I remember the initial shock of the price until buying one. If you are hesitant, I recommend buying a small candle, it’s also the way to try new fragrances. 

My thoughts are, you upgrade your life as you pass through the journey, always keeping your financial goals in mind. 

:)

Melinda

 

Celebrate Life · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Why I Deleted My Twitter Account **BEWARE**

While I work feverish to protect myself from a security breach, full post to come, I realized that Twitter is the #1 red alert company for data breaches, and for selling information.

I do know that once your information hits the internet, it’s permanent and there’s no going back. I also learned that my information was on the Dark Web and I have no idea how to go there.

My phone and laptop are both Apple and they have security tools which shares information like your security risk and which companies are red flags. The tools have helped me focus on the red flag companies as I try to protect my identity. It’s hard to focus when Identity Theft is looking over your shoulder, you can’t let your guard down. 

The risk of using Twitter is too high and I deleted my account. 

I hope this helps someone in the same battle. Identity Theft can ruin your life and empty your bank account. 

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Moving Forward

Different Types of Workwear Across Industries & Their Importance

In the dynamic landscape of various industries, one common thread unites them all: the significance of appropriate workwear. Whether you’re navigating the bustling floors of a factory, crunching numbers in a corporate setting, or braving the elements outdoors, the right attire plays a crucial role in ensuring safety, comfort, and efficiency. Let’s delve into the diverse array of workwear across different sectors and understand why it matters.

Understanding the Varied Needs

 

Factory and Construction Sites

In the bustling environments of factories and construction sites, safety takes center stage. Workwear here isn’t just about looking the part; it’s about protection from hazards like heavy machinery, falling objects, and electrical accidents. Key components often include:

  • Hard Hats – Shielding workers from overhead impacts.
  • High-Visibility Clothing – Ensuring visibility in low-light conditions.
  • Steel-Toed Boots – Guarding feet against crushing injuries.

Healthcare and Medical Fields

In hospitals and clinics, where precision and hygiene are paramount, workwear serves a dual purpose: safeguarding both patients and practitioners. Garments are designed for easy movement, cleanliness, and infection control. Common items include:

  • Scrubs – Lightweight, easy-to-clean attire worn by medical professionals. The best scrub set can make a massive difference.
  • Lab Coats – Providing an extra layer of protection against spills and contaminants.
  • Disposable Gloves – Minimizing the risk of cross-contamination.

Corporate Offices

In the world of corporate offices and professional settings, workwear often reflects the company culture while maintaining a polished appearance. While less focused on physical protection, attire still plays a role in projecting professionalism and confidence. Common staples include:

  • Business Suits – Classic ensembles exuding authority and professionalism.
  • Blazers and Dress Shirts – Versatile pieces suitable for meetings and presentations.
  • Closed-Toe Shoes – Completing the polished look while ensuring comfort during long hours.

The Importance of Appropriate Workwear

 

Safety First

Across all industries, safety remains the primary concern driving the choice of workwear. Whether it’s protecting against physical injuries, chemical exposure, or biological hazards, the right attire can mean the difference between a minor accident and a life-altering injury.

Enhanced Productivity

Comfortable workwear isn’t just about physical safety—it also impacts productivity. Clothing that allows for free movement and breathability can prevent fatigue and discomfort, enabling workers to focus on the task at hand without unnecessary distractions.

Professional Image

In client-facing roles, appearance matters. Well-fitted, appropriate attire not only reflects positively on the individual but also contributes to the overall reputation of the company. A polished appearance instills trust and confidence in clients and colleagues alike.

Choosing the Right Workwear

 

Assessing Job Requirements

Before selecting workwear, it’s crucial to understand the specific demands of the job. Consider factors such as:

  • Safety Regulations – Compliance with industry standards and regulations.
  • Environmental Conditions – Is the work primarily indoors or outdoors? Are there temperature extremes or exposure to hazardous substances?
  • Job Role – Does the job involve physical labor, client meetings, or a combination of both?

Comfort and Fit

Workwear should not only meet safety standards but also be comfortable to wear for extended periods. Look for garments made from breathable materials that allow for freedom of movement. Additionally, ensure proper sizing to prevent chafing or restricted mobility.

Durability and Maintenance

Investing in high-quality workwear pays off in the long run. Durable fabrics and reinforced seams can withstand the rigors of daily use, reducing the need for frequent replacements. Consider ease of maintenance as well—garments that are machine washable and quick-drying simplify upkeep.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

 

What are some common types of workwear?

Common types of workwear include hard hats, high-visibility clothing, and steel-toed boots for industries like construction; scrubs, lab coats, and disposable gloves for healthcare settings; and business suits, blazers, and closed-toe shoes for corporate offices.

What factors should be considered when choosing workwear?

When choosing workwear, factors such as safety regulations, environmental conditions, job roles, comfort, fit, durability, and maintenance requirements should be taken into account. It’s important to select garments that meet safety standards, provide comfort, and are easy to maintain.

Conclusion

In every industry, from construction sites to corporate boardrooms, the choice of workwear carries significant implications for safety, productivity, and professional image. By understanding the unique requirements of each sector and prioritizing comfort and functionality, employers can ensure that their workforce is equipped to excel in any environment. Whether it’s donning a hard hat on the factory floor or a crisp suit in the office, the right attire sets the stage for success. So, the next time you suit up for work, remember: it’s not just about what you wear—it’s about how it empowers you to thrive in your chosen field.

This is a collaborative post.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

A Small Problem In The Big Picture!

It’s strange how problems look different once you have several chronic issues. Falling down is a big deal when your health goes south. Just getting up may require my husband’s help. 

I want to encourage people to be honest with themselves when it comes to mobility. Mobility issues can change daily and we have to assess each day.

This painful rash and bruise is from falling while playing with dogs. I reached for the toy and went straight down. It’s a small thing until it’s a Big Problem, concussion, or injury that needs attention like when I fell halfway downstairs and broke my wrist. 

I met my new PCP yesterday and she pressured me to use an aid in the house, which is nothing new to hear. I still haven’t faced the music and still will not use one. The day will come when I will need an aid. :(

At 60, there are many days I feel like I’m falling apart but I have to stay focused on the next day and stay positive about tomorrow. :)

Melinda

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

5 Typical Aging In Place Mistakes And How To Avoid Them

Repost from 2020

Today, the idea of aging in place (also known as aging at home) is gaining a lot of significance, especially among the older population. According to the National Council on Aging, nine out of ten senior citizens prefer to continue living in their own homes over the next five to ten years. Many such seniors based their reason on their need to be among people they already know. This makes a case for aging in place relatively easy. However, there are a lot of challenges and necessary changes that should be taken care of. 

If you are concerned about what difficulties you or your loved ones might face, or the mistakes that might be made when aging in place, this article will help you deal with them in advance.

Image Credit

Not having an early discussion with loved ones about your preferences

Many adults wait until it is a little too late to have a conversation with their loved ones about their future needs and preferences- creating a lack of planning. Planning helps keep track of your preferences and needs while ensuring they are met. It is better to discuss your living arrangement preferences ahead of time so that your loved ones can help you live the comfortable life you want in your old age. 

Not considering possible lifestyle changes

The unfortunate truth is that, as you grow older, your body is no longer able to do certain things it used to – making the option to live independently in your old age inadvisable. Some people try to cope by turning down any form of help offered to them, whether in tools or services. For many adults, the mere thought of any kind of senior care makes them feel embarrassed and helpless – which should not be the case. Rather than being fixed on your preference of aging in place, accept your lifestyle challenges, and seek other options that would be beneficial to you.

Not making preparations for various possibilities

Almost nothing is certain in life, and disasters may strike at any time. Unfortunately, many adults fail to plan and make preparations for different possible scenarios. This lack of planning can bring more stress due to knee-jerk reactions to unexpected situations. 

Take time to write down all the possible ‘what ifs.’  Doing this should cover possibilities such as who will take care of you if you lose your ability to decide for yourself or lose mobility. Next, create a plan of action for all those possibilities with the help of your loved ones.

Not having financial plans

Studies show that many American adults do not have any financial plan in place for old age. This makes the issue of money more complicated when they need their finances the most. Many also fail to create a will or have a power of attorney in place. It is best to seek a financial planner’s advice concerning how to handle money to be financially stable during old age. Fortunately, making such plans is now easier than ever, thanks to the digital age. Alternatively, you can also sit down with your loved ones to go through what your options are.

Not being proactive with in-home security

We have already mentioned how disaster can strike at any time without warning. Unfortunately, most adults have not put any proactive measures in place for accidents at home. For example, as we grow older, our bodies can no longer handle falls and other accidents at home very well. It is essential to take proactive steps when it comes to your safety at home. For example, you should take the time to identify any form of potential hazard and provide solutions. Ensure that you have the right tools at home, you’re always well clothed and can move about in your home with ease.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

Relying on just one person

It is not uncommon for most adults to put their trust in only one person to take care of them as they age. As trustworthy as a person may be, it is always harmful to rely solely on them to solve all your problems. This either puts a lot of burden on this one person or leaves the adult with no one else to rely on should that one person be unavailable.

This is why it is essential to try to be as self-sufficient as you can be, even when you have someone around to give you a helping hand. While this will take a lot of effort, it will also help you build the knowledge and skills required to live alone in your home. Where possible, also have some family members or friends around to help you.

This is a collaborative post.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

Insurance Approved My Intravenous Immunoglobulin Therapy (IVIg)

Two years ago I was diagnosed with Hypogammaglububemia, it’s actually caused by other immune disorders. Crazy but scary and the fatigue is bad.

When your body doesn’t produce enough antibodies you are at risk of catching everything! After two years, my testing last month was much different, and this time my antibodies were very low and insurance-approved 14 Antibody Infusion Treatments.

Other than first-time side effects, it sounds like it gets easier after a few treatments.

I start next week and have very few instructions on what to bring, so it’s back to their site to see if they have a list. Each treatment is 4-7 hours long, and that’s a lot of music to listen to.

I’ll keep you posted on how the treatments are going.

Take good care and know there’s a possibility I’ll be out for a few days. :)

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Deep Thoughts

In this fast-paced social media world, it can be difficult to find the time to look within or back in time. I hope you find these quotes and questions interesting. So glad you stopped by today!

Continue reading “Deep Thoughts”