Celebrate Life · Fun · Mental Health

Wordless Wednesday-Every Bookcase Tells A Story

I’m happy to see you for another Wordless Wednesday, and I look forward to seeing you again.

 

Melinda

Children · Communicating · Family · Health and Wellbeing · Internet Good/Bad · Mental Health

Why Kids And Teens May Face More Anxiety Far More These Days: A Must Read For All Parents

When it comes to treating anxiety in children and teens, Instagram, Twitter and Facebook are the bane of therapists’ work.“With (social media), it’s all about the self-image — who’s ‘liking’ them, who’s watching them, who clicked on their picture,” said Marco Grados, associate professor of psychiatry and clinical director of child and adolescent psychiatry at Johns Hopkins Hospital. “Everything can turn into something negative … [K]ids are exposed to that day after day, and it’s not good for them.”

Anxiety, not depression, is the leading mental health issue among American youths, and clinicians and research both suggest it is rising. The latest study was published in April in the Journal of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics. Based on data collected from the National Survey of Children’s Health for ages 6 to 17, researchers found a 20 percent increase in diagnoses of anxiety between 2007 and 2012. (The rate of depression over that same time period ticked up 0.2 percent.)Philip Kendall, director of the Child and Adolescent Anxiety Disorders Clinic at Temple University and a practicing psychologist, was not surprised by the results and applauded the study for its “big picture” approach.

The data on anxiety among 18- and 19-year-olds is even starker. Since 1985, the Higher Education Research Institute at UCLA has been asking incoming college freshmen if they “felt overwhelmed” by all they had to do. The first year, 18 percent replied yes. By 2000, that climbed to 28 percent. By 2016, to nearly 41 percent.

The same pattern is clear when comparing modern-day teens to those of their grandparents’ or great-grandparents’ era. One of the oldest surveys in assessing personality traits and psychopathology is the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory, which dates to the Great Depression and remains in use today. When Jean Twenge, a professor of psychology at San Diego State University, looked at the MMPI responses from more than 77,500 high school and college students over the decades, she found that five times as many students in 2007 “surpassed thresholds” in more than one mental health category than they did in 1938. Anxiety and depression were six times more common.

Those responding yes were asked to describe the level of both anxiety and depression in their children: 10.7 percent said their child’s depression was severe, and 15.2 percent who listed their child’s anxiety at that level.

Among the study’s other findings: Anxiety and depression were more commonly found among white and non-Hispanic children, and children with anxiety or depression were more likely than their peers to be obese. The researchers acknowledge that the survey method — parents reporting what they were told by their child’s doctor — likely skewed the results.

 Grados often identifies anxiety in the children and adolescents he sees as part of his clinical practice in Baltimore. “I have a wide range [of patients], take all insurances, do inpatients, day hospital, outpatients, and see anxiety across all strata,” he said.

The causes of that anxiety also include classroom pressures, according to Grados. “Now we’re measuring everything,” he said. “School is putting so much pressure on them with the competitiveness … I’ve seen eighth graders admitted as inpatients, saying they have to choose a career!”

Yet even one of the latest study’s authors acknowledges that it can be difficult to tease out the truth about the rise in anxiety.

“If you look at past studies,” said John T. Walkup, chairman of the Department of Psychiatry at Lurie Children’s Hospital in Chicago, “you don’t know if the conditions themselves are increasing or clinicians are making the diagnosis more frequently due to advocacy or public health efforts.”

Nearly a third of all adolescents ages 13 to 18 will experience an anxiety disorder during their lifetime, according to the National Institutes of Health, with the incidence among girls (38.0 percent) far outpacing that among boys (26.1 percent).

Identifying anxiety in kids and getting them help is paramount, according to clinicians. “Anxiety can be an early stage of other conditions,” Grados said. “Bipolar, schizophrenia later in life can initially manifest as anxiety.”

For all these reasons, Kendall said, increased awareness is welcome.

“If you look at the history of child mental health problems,” he said, “we knew about delinquency at the beginning of the 20th century, autism was diagnosed in the 1940s, teenage depression in the mid-’80s. Anxiety is really coming late to the game.”

Melinda

Reference:

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Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward · Self-Care

You Are Not Alone: Quotes for the Toughest Days

Leaning on the hard-earned wisdom of others helps shift your perspective and uplift your spirits, serving as a reminder that resilience is possible even on the toughest days. 

May these words serve as a gentle source of inspiration and comfort. If you have a specific quote that helps you through the hard times, we invite you to share it in the comments.

Love’s Power to Ease Life’s Sorrows

“Love has, at its best, made the inherent sadness of life bearable, and its beauty manifest.” ~ Kay Redfield Jamison (An Unquiet Mind, 1995)

Seeing Stars Beyond the Tears

“If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.”
Rabindranath Tagore

Finding Safety in the Present

“In times of pain, when the future is too terrifying to contemplate and the past too painful to remember, I have learned to pay attention to right now. The precise moment I was in was always the only safe place for me.”
Nicholas Sparks

Courage Is Something Quiet

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’”
Mary Anne Radmacher

Perseverance Is the Foundation 

“Of all that is good, sublimity is supreme. Succeeding is the coming together of all that is beautiful. Furtherance is the agreement of all that is just. Perseverance is the foundation of all actions.”
~ Lao Tzu

The Power of Hope

Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul — and sings the tune without the words — and never stops at all.”
Emily Dickinson

Imagination, Love, and Laughter 

“I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge; myth is more potent than history; dreams are more powerful than facts; hope always triumphs over experience; laughter is the cure for grief; love is stronger than death.”
Robert Fulghum (All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten: Uncommon Thoughts on Common Things, 1986)

Life is Music — Both Joyful and Sad

“Life is like a piano; the white keys represent happiness and the black show sadness. But as you go through life’s journey, remember that the black keys also create music.”
Ehssan

How Our Loved Ones See Us

“Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused.”
Alan Cohen (Wisdom of the Heart, 2002)

Embrace Nature’s Reality

“It isn’t the language of painters one ought to listen to but the language of nature…. Feeling things themselves, reality, is more important than feeling paintings, at least more productive and life-giving.”
Vincent van Gogh (letter to Theo van Gogh, The Hague, on or about Friday, July 21, 1882)

Welcoming the Day With Joy

“Hello, sun in my face. Hello, you who made the morning and spread it over the fields… Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness.” 
Mary Oliver (poem, “Why I Wake Early,” 2004)

The Art of Living Well

“Living well is an art that can be developed: a love of life and ability to take great pleasure from small offerings and assurance that the world owes you nothing and that every gift is exactly that, a gift.”
Maya Angelou (Wouldn’t Take Nothing for My Journey Now)

Happiness is What Drives Life

“Happiness is what greases the wheels of life, what opens the floodgates, raises the sun, aligns the stars, beats your heart, finds true love.”
Mike Dooley

Courage Through Facing Fear

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.”
Eleanor Roosevelt (You Learn by Living, 1960)

Accepting Life’s Unexpected Path

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.”
Joseph Campbell (to Diane K. Osbon, as recorded in Reflections on the Art of Living: A Joseph Campbell Companion)

Stronger After Life’s Storms

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”
Haruki Murakami (Kafka on the Shore)

Keep Moving Forward

“If you can’t fly, then run; if you can’t run, then walk; if you can’t walk, then crawl; but whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward.”
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. (“Keep Moving from This Mountain,” speech at Spelman College, April 10, 1960)

It’s Never Too Late to Be You

“For what it’s worth: It’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit. You can change or stay the same; there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it.… I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.”
Eric Roth (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, film, 2008)

Melinda

Reference:

https://www.bphope.com/bipolar-buzz/20-inspirational-quotes-to-help-cope-with-bipolar-disorder/?utm_source=iContact&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=bphope&utm_content=BUZZ+-+Jan4+-+Quotes

Health and Wellbeing · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Common Myths About Cannabis

It seems like there are new myths about Marijuana popping up all the time. The reality is that many of these myths have been disproven long ago. However, they persist in today’s society for one reason or another. Some people believe them because they haven’t done any research on their own. In contrast, others may do so because it benefits them to keep these misconceptions alive. We’ll be giving you the facts about some common myths associated with Marijuana and dispel them once and for all!

You Can’t Get Addicted To Marijuana

You can find this myth in many pro-marijuana campaigns across the world. The truth is that it’s entirely possible to get addicted to Marijuana, just like any other substance out there. Of course, it will not happen overnight, and you shouldn’t be able to do so by smoking one joint either! When people argue about whether or not marijuana addiction exists, they are usually talking about cannabis dependency. This type of dependency occurs when someone smokes on a daily basis for an extended period of time, usually several months. It slowly becomes harder and harder for them to function normally without getting high first.

This doesn’t mean that these individuals have no control over their actions, though; they simply use weed as a crutch because they’re too anxious or uncomfortable without it. The next time you’re around someone who is high, really think about whether or not they look like they need it to function normally.

Marijuana Is Always Safe To Use

One of the most common things heard about weed is that it’s safe and harmless to use. This couldn’t be further from the truth! We’ll touch on some key points here, but if you would like more information, then research Marijuana safety tips.

There are many negative health effects associated with smoking marijuana regularly or excessively. For one thing, long-term smokers usually end up getting respiratory problems such as bronchitis because they inhale so much tar and ash into their lungs. If this doesn’t sound healthy to you already, keep in mind that Marijuana contains 50% more carcinogenic hydrocarbons than regular cigarettes do too! There have also been studies showing an increased risk of lung cancer among people who smoke Marijuana regularly.

Getting your Marijuana from the best dispensary possible is an additional factor to consider as there are legislative quality controls they need to follow, ensuring you get a pure and clean product.

Marijuana Is A Gateway Drug

This is a controversial point, but it has been proven that Marijuana does not cause people to try out harder drugs. Sure there are cases where this happened due to the influence of others, but overall it would be an unfair label to place on Marijuana.

The problem here lies in the fact that some unscrupulous dealers will sell their customers harder drugs when they come back. It’s not because the Marijuana itself made them do it, but you can’t deny that Marijuana is an easy way to get someone hooked on something else! There are studies showing that people who already have a tendency towards addiction may try harder substances if given access to an alternative like Marijuana in most cases.

Marijuana Doesn’t Have Any Medicinal Value

The biggest argument for legalizing Marijuana is its medicinal properties. There are many positive uses for Marijuana, both as an analgesic and to help with the symptoms of certain diseases. It makes sense that people who could benefit from this would want access to it without having to wait until the laws change in their state or country!

There has been a wealth of research done in the past several years that have shown Marijuana’s amazing medical value. The US government even holds a patent on Cannabis for its antioxidant and neuroprotectant abilities.

In conclusion, there are many common myths when it comes to marijuana use that simply isn’t true at all! This is especially important nowadays when more and more states are legalizing the drug either recreationally or medically.

This is a collaborative post.

Melinda

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Celebrate Life · Fun · Mental Health · Music

#Weekend Music Share-Robin Williams Makes an Insane First Appearance | Carson Tonight Show

Be prepared to laugh so hard it hurts!

Robin was the brightest star with humor in his blood. He shared his talent with us and we are thankful. His life was cut too short from mental illness.

It’s the weekend!!!!!!

 I’m glad you joined me for another edition of Weekend Music Share this week.

Have a great weekend!

Melinda

Welcome back to Weekend Music Share, the place where everyone can share their favorite music.

Feel free to use the Weekend Music Share banner in your post, and use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.

Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Mental Health

Wordless Wednesday-Snow Day

Thank you for joining me on Wordless Wednesday and I look forward to seeing you again soon.

 

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Communicating · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Listening To Shame By Brene Brown

Her perspective on life and brutal honesty can help us live our best lives.

Melinda

Chronic Illness · Health and Wellbeing · Infectious Diease · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Tick Borne Illnesses

PATHOBIOME PERSPECTIVES: Borrelia, Bartonella & Babesia in the Brain

For years, people living with Lyme disease and other infection-associated chronic illnesses have reported cognitive decline, mood changes, memory problems, and unexplained psychiatric symptoms. Yet these symptoms are routinely dismissed as psychological rather than biological.

At the 2nd Annual Alzheimer’s Pathobiome Initiative (AlzPI) & PCOM Symposium, a new conversation is reshaping that understanding.

In a special live recording of Pathobiome Perspectives, author and Galaxy Diagnostics CEO Nicole Bell shares how her family’s search for answers revealed the role of infection in her late husband Russ’s devastating neurological decline.

What lab tests later showed

In her presentation, “When the brain pathobiome becomes personal,” Bell describes laboratory findings from Russ’s donated brain, including:

  • Borrelia burgdorferi (Lyme)
  • Chlamydia pneumoniae
  • Babesia otocoli (previously thought to be deer-restricted)
  • Elevated heavy metals (lead and mercury)

These data, now being prepared for publication, reinforce a growing scientific model: polymicrobial infection and toxic exposures may converge to drive neuroinflammation and Alzheimer’s-like symptoms.

Bell also outlines why so many patients fall through the cracks:

  • Standard two-tier Lyme serology can miss true infection, especially in late-stage disease
  • Direct detection methods can identify active pathogens that serology overlooks
  • Bartonella and Babesia must be considered alongside Lyme when neuropsychiatric symptoms appear

She highlights hallmark Bartonella clues often mistaken for psychological disorders — irritability, anxiety, OCD, tics, vision changes, and stretch-mark-like striæ — noting that exposure risk extends beyond ticks to fleas and household cats. Bell advocates for precision diagnostics that assess pathogen load, immune dysfunction, and toxic exposures together, rather than in isolation.

A turning point for chronic illness science

Bell’s story underscores a pivotal shift: what looks psychiatric or “idiopathic” may be a complex, biologically driven pathobiome process — and recognizing it early could change outcomes.

Tune in to this episode of Pathobiome Perspectives, presented in collaboration with Tick Boot Camp and LymeDisease.org, to learn how cutting-edge research could transform our understanding of chronic illness and cognition–and offer hope to millions navigating life through the haze.

Pathobiome Perspectives was developed in collaboration with the Pathobiome Research Center at PCOM, led by Founding Director Nikki Schultek, and Director Dr. Brian Balin and the Center for Chronic Disorders of Aging (CCDA).

New episodes of Pathobiome Perspectives will roll out every Tuesday night at 7:30 p.m. Central.

Ali Moresco is a tick-borne disease survivor, advocate, speaker and founder of Moresco PR, a healthcare communications firm. She also serves as Executive Board Chair of Project Lyme. You can connect with Ali on Instagram at @AliTMoresco or on YouTube.

Melinda

Reference:

https://www.lymedisease.org/pathobiome-hicole-bell/

Celebrate Life · Fun · Mental Health · Music

#Weekend Music Share-She’s Gone (1976) – Hall & Oates

It’s the weekend!!!!!!

 I’m glad you joined me for another edition of Weekend Music Share this week.

Have a great weekend!

Melinda

Welcome back to Weekend Music Share, the place where everyone can share their favorite music.

Feel free to use the Weekend Music Share banner in your post, and use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

If you’re unhappy with your body, just repeat after us: You are the new hotness

Too many of us struggle to achieve a body ideal that’s just not obtainable by humans. It’s time to redefine what’s good, healthy and attractive on our own terms, say writers (and sisters) Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski.
The Bikini Industrial Complex. That’s our name for the $100 billion cluster of businesses that profit by setting an unachievable “aspirational ideal,” convincing us that we can and should — indeed we must — conform with the ideal, and then selling us ineffective but plausible strategies for achieving that ideal. It’s like old cat pee in the carpet, powerful and pervasive and it makes you uncomfortable every day but it’s invisible and no one can remember a time when it didn’t smell.

Let’s shine a black light on it, so you can know where the smell is coming from. You already know that basically everything in the media is there to sell you thinness — the shellacked abs in ads for exercise equipment, the “one weird trick to lose belly fat” clickbait when all you wanted was a weather forecast, and the “flawless” thin women who fill most TV shows. The Bikini Industrial Complex, or BIC, has successfully created a culture of immense pressure to conform to an ideal that is literally unobtainable by almost everyone and yet is framed not just as the most beautiful, but the healthiest and most virtuous.

But it’s not just magazine covers, ads and other fictions that get it wrong. The body mass index (BMI) chart and its labels — underweight, overweight, obese, etc. — were created by a panel of nine individuals, seven of whom were “employed by weight-loss clinics and thus have an economic interest in encouraging use of their facilities,” as researchers Paul Ernsberger and Richard J Koletsky put it.

You’ve been lied to about the relationship between weight and health so that you’ll perpetually try to change your weight.

But listen: It can be healthier to be 70 or more pounds over your medically defined “healthy weight” than just five pounds under it. A 2016 meta-analysis in The Lancet medical journal examined 189 studies, encompassing nearly four million people who never smoked and had no diagnosed medical issues. It found that people labeled “obese” by the CDC have lower health risk than those the CDC categorized as “underweight.” The study also found that being “overweight” according to the CDC is lower risk than being at the low end of the “healthy” range as defined by the US federal government and the World Health Organization.

Another meta-analysis even found that people in the BMI category labeled “overweight” may live longer than people in any other category, and the highest predictable mortality rate might be among those labeled “underweight.” Taking it further, newer research is suggesting that doctors warn their middle-aged and older patients against losing weight, because the increasingly well-established dangers of fluctuations in weight outweigh any risk associated with a high but stable weight.

Our culture has primed us to judge fat people as lazy and selfish. And it goes deep. Amelia conducts a children’s choir, and she has to teach her kids to breathe. At ten, eight, even six years old, they already believe that their bellies are supposed to be flat and hard, so they hold their stomachs in. You can’t breathe deeply, all the way, without relaxing your abdomen, and you can’t sing if you can’t breathe. So Amelia has to teach children to breathe.

Please: Relax your belly. It’s supposed to be round. The BIC has been gaslighting you.

We’re not saying the people or companies that constitute the BIC are out to get you. Frankly, we don’t think they’re smart enough to have created this system on purpose. But they recognize there’s money to be made by establishing and enforcing impossible standards.

We all encounter the BIC every day. So how can we make it through the fray?

One strategy: Play the “new hotness” game.

When we reconstruct our own standard of beauty with a definition that comes from our own hearts and includes our bodies as they are right now, we can turn toward our bodies with kindness and compassion. Well, easier said than done.

Amelia is vain about pictures of her conducting, in which she inevitably has her mouth wide open and her hair is a sweaty wreck. Emily watches herself on TV and worries that her chin is too pointy because one time, somebody said it was. (We are identical twins.)

Neither of us has ever had the skinny proportions of a model, and we watched our mom — who was model-thin before she gestated two seven-pound babies at the same time — look at her reflection in mirrors and cry at what she saw there. What she saw there is very much like what we see in our own reflections now.

Which is why we play the “New Hotness” game, a way to let go of body self-criticism and shift to self-kindness. One day, Amelia was at a fancy boutique, trying on gowns for a performance. Attire for women conductors is hard to find: solid black with long sleeves, formal yet not frumpy is an unlikely combination. Finding all of this in her size is even more difficult.

She tried on a dress that looked so amazingly good she texted Emily a dress selfie, with a caption paraphrasing Will Smith in Men in Black II: i am the new hotness.

And now “new hotness” is our texting shorthand for looking fabulous without reference to the socially constructed ideal. We recommend it. It’s fun.

Maybe you don’t look like you used to, or like you used to imagine you should, but how you look today is the new hotness. Even better than the old hotness.

Saggy belly skin from that baby you birthed? New hotness.

Gained 20 pounds while finishing school? New hotness.

Skin gets new wrinkles because you lived another year? New hotness.

Hair longer or shorter, or a different color or style? New hotness.

Mastectomy following breast cancer? New hotness.

Amputation following combat injury? New hotness.

The point is, you define and redefine your body’s worth, on your own terms. It’s not necessary to turn toward your body with love and affection — love and affection are frosting on the cake of body acceptance, and if they work for you, go for it. But all your body requires of you is that you turn toward it with kindness and compassion, again and again, without judging all your contradictory emotions, beliefs and longings.

No doubt after you finish reading this, you will go out into the world and notice the diversity of bodies around you. And you will still have reflexive thoughts about the people who don’t conform to the aspirational ideal, envious thoughts about the people who do, or self-critical thoughts about the ways the world tells you that you fall short. And then you might even have emotional reactions to your emotional reactions: “Darn it, I shouldn’t think that!”

Change happens gradually. Your brain has been soaking in the BIC for decades; any time you step outside your door, you’re back in it; any time you turn on a TV, you’re back in it; and any time you put clothes on, you’re back in it. Just notice it, as you’d notice a fleck of dust floating through the air. Smile kindly at the mess. And know what’s true: Everyone is the new hotness. You are the new hotness. So is she. So are they. So are we.

Excerpted from Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily and Amelia Nagoski. Copyright © 2019 by Emily and Amelia Nagoski. Used by permission of Ballantine, an imprint of Random House Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House LLC. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

Health and Wellbeing · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Sexual Assault · Trauma

January Awareness Month

Each month there is a long list of awareness months, days and weeks, To keep the post short I only write about the awareness months. To read to complete list CLICK HERE or the link at bottom of post.

Cervical Health Awareness Month

Glaucoma Awareness Month

Mental Wellness Month

National Blood Donor Month

National Eye Care Month

National Slavery and Human Trafficking Prevention Month

National Stalking Awareness Month

Poverty Awareness Month

Self-Love Month

National Mentoring Month

Many of the awareness months hit close to home for me, not only through experience but as missions I’m dedicated to by advocating and sharing information with you.

Melinda

Reference:

Good Good Good

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Mental Illness · Self-Care

Affirmations That Lift Your Inner Voice — Even on Hard Days

The post talks about how positive thinking and affermations help with Bipolar Disorder, the truth is everyone can benefilt from the post. What we think and say is what our brain believes.

Words — whether spoken or thought — carry incredible weight. They are capable of healing or harming. The unkind phrases people tell themselves so often can easily turn into beliefs, shaping an unfair and cruel view of who they are.

If words hold so much sway, why, then, can’t they be used for good?

What if your words and what you tell yourself hold the key to a better life? Imagine if, instead of riding along with the usual negative stream of consciousness, you said aloud: “I am worthy.” “I have the strength to overcome any challenge.” “I have come this far — I am capable.”

Appropriately termed “affirmations” or “self-talk,” these are positive statements that can help you confront and overcome self-sabotaging and negative thoughts and beliefs. When you repeat them often and believe in them, you can start making positive changes and rewriting your story.

When Brain Chemistry Meets Self-Belief

Most people spend much of their waking time talking to themselves, although they might not always be aware of it. And that internal chatter is much more influential than many realize. Mood is created by the balance of chemicals in the brain — neurotransmitters like dopamine, serotonin, endorphins, and so on.

Yet even your thoughts or self-talk can alter your brain’s chemical reactions, shaping emotions and behaviors. What you say to yourself has real-world consequences.

“What you tell yourself is how you are programming your internal navigation system,” says Jill Sylvester, LMHC, MEd, who has a private practice in Hanover, Massachusetts, and is the author of Trust Your Intuition: 100 Ways to Transform Anxiety and Depression for Stronger Mental Health.

In this way, a person’s inner speech functions much like an internal compass or brain-based GPS. The tone of this self-talk influences our feelings, judgments, self-esteem, and actions — guiding them to move forward, change course, or settle into the status quo.

RELATED: What You Say Shapes How You See Yourself

Sylvester’s metaphor is fitting and raises an important question: If someone isn’t paying attention to their self-talk, who is at the wheel? And where, exactly, are they going?

Repeated often enough, this silent self-address ultimately establishes a person’s default or foundational beliefs about themselves, those around them, and the world in general. So, in a sense, engaging in mindless self-talk is a lot like living on autopilot.

Even so, anyone can take back the controls. That voice in your head, after all, is your own.

The notion of thinking good thoughts is at the center of much psychotherapy, in fact. Reframing your negative thoughts is a powerful way to heal from past trauma. Furthermore, thinking positively to make yourself feel better is not self-deception, says Gregory L. Jantz, PhD, founder of the Center: A Place of Hope, one of the leading facilities for the treatment of depression.

In his book Moving Beyond Depression, Dr. Jantz writes that positive self-talk is “not mentally looking at circumstances with eyes that see only what you want to see. Rather, positive self-talk is about recognizing the truth in situations and in yourself…. [It] allows you to discover the obscured optimism, hope, and joy in any given situation.”

Transforming Thought Patterns for Better Bipolar Management

Lorenzo L. of New York City knows this firsthand. In his youth, Lorenzo struggled with “massive mood swings” that much later would be recognized as symptoms of bipolar disorder. Showing wisdom beyond his years, Lorenzo lifted himself out of depressive states by slowing his breathing and using positive affirmations.

With regular meditation, Lorenzo has learned to quickly identify his state of mind. Once he is fully aware of his current mood, he directs his self-talk accordingly: “When I’m coming down from mania or hypomania,” he says, his mantra is, “‘Don’t doubt yourself today. It’s okay that you don’t feel as joyful or productive today.’”

“When I’m cycling up to mania or hypomania,” he continues, “I say, ‘Try not to get too carried away. Use all of this extra energy for productive and healthy activities.’”

And when he is feeling balanced, he uses positive, encouraging inner speech to continue his sense of stability: “I can sustain this mood for more than this moment or day.”

“Self-affirmations,” Sylvester explains, “are positive statements that put a person in the driver’s seat of their life and create a path from which to grow.”

And grown he has. Working full-time and studying to become a certified public accountant, the 37-year-old Lorenzo credits his healthy mindset to meditation and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). With the help of his psychologist, he has solidified his initial forays into mindfulness and self-affirmation into a practical, tried-and-true strategy that improves his mood and alleviates his symptoms.

Train Your Mind to Respond, Not React

When the terrain is rocky and you’re struggling to stick to your wellness plan, positive self-talk can help you persevere by encouraging you to become proactive instead of reactive. In fact, you can harness your inner monologue to promote what psychologists call “self-regulation” —  your ability to exert conscious control over emotional and physical responses to external situations.

You can strengthen your self-regulation by consciously distancing your thoughts from your experiences. One way to do this is to switch your self-talk from first person (“I,” “me,” “my”) to third person — using your own name instead. 

An older randomized controlled trial found that doing so during times of stress fosters a sense of perspective, with net benefits including decreased anxiety, improved performance, and faster, more complete emotional recovery.

So, if you’re feeling anxious about an upcoming event or want to gain a bit of emotional separation from an experience to change your response, consider replacing “I” with your name when speaking or thinking your affirmations.

How Positive Self-Affirmations Protect the Brain From Stress

In times of overwhelm, it can be helpful to remind yourself who you are and what defines you as an individual. From there, you can make better decisions.

When Cheryl W. M. faces negative thoughts, she tells herself, “I don’t sweat the small stuff.”

By linking her desired mindset to her self-image in this way, she makes it easier to follow through with her goal of not letting minor inconveniences or difficulties become roadblocks.

Cheryl explains that her affirmation “helps to keep me centered and positive.”

Science supports Cheryl’s experience. In one study, participants with high levels of chronic stress showed reduced problem-solving ability. However, those who engaged in a brief self-affirmation activity performed significantly better on challenging tasks than those who didn’t.

This suggests that self-affirmations can protect against the negative effects of stress, such as impaired creativity and problem-solving.

Confirming the importance of linking affirmations to your identity, Sylvester says that empowering affirmations work best when they begin with “I am,” such as “I am true to myself,” “I am capable,” or “I am smart.” Set in the present tense, they “affirm that things are happening in the present, versus in the future.”

This is when first-person self-talk can prove beneficial, eliminating the emotional distance between your identity and what you want to affirm.

Kim S., understands the power of using self-talk in this way. Every time she looks in the bathroom mirror, she tells herself that she loves herself; then she says, “I am surrounded by love. I am strong today. I can make it right now, just for right now.”

In addition to using “I am” statements that focus on the current moment, Kim, who’s in her early sixties, also imagines being surrounded by white, healing light and beautiful hearts. “And if I have to,” she continues, “I repeat this five times per day.”

The Science of the Inner Critic — and How to Overcome It

When you’re dealing with bipolar depression, it might feel inauthentic or untrue to say to yourself, “I am happy” or “I am capable.” Depression feels heavy and can often rob you of the belief that you can get out of bed, continue with your routines, and return to happiness. At these times, it’s essential to remember that your brain is mistaken.

Clinical psychologist and author of Overcoming the Destructive Inner VoiceRobert W. Firestone, PhD, identifies the “critical inner voice” — the stream of negative, self-defeating, and highly critical self-talk — as the “enemy within.” He writes that this enemy can be overcome only by recognizing it and actively working against it.

By distancing yourself from the “enemy within” and aligning with your true identity through positive, emotionally charged affirmations, you can move toward a more balanced and uplifting state of mind.

That sense of control can feel especially empowering when your mood seems to dictate your days.

Because internal self-talk influences both beliefs and behavior, cultivating awareness of that inner voice enables more intentional, affirming thought patterns.

Lorenzo says, “I know it’s difficult. If you’re struggling, there are ways to adapt your lifestyle and cope with difficult emotions. Such as, for me, affirmations and positive self-talk.”

“It’s a journey,” he says, “for sure.”

Self-Talk Alternatives to Support Bipolar Stability

There are many ways to increase your sense of personal power and inject some positivity and affirmations into your daily routine. Here are a few to get you started.

  • To start off on the right side of the bed, Eric R., of California, says he uses the song “Beautiful Day” by U2 as his wake-up alarm. “It sets the tone for the day by pointing my thoughts in a good and hopeful direction as soon as I awake.”
  • To instill your new habit, link your self-affirmation to an existing routine, like brushing your teeth. That way, as you stand before the bathroom mirror, you can say to yourself, “I am strong.” Then repeat the practice before bed.
  • Embrace your creativity and turn your favorite affirmation into a piece of art. Paint, collage, draw, or design it however you wish, then display the final product in a place you see every day.
  • Take things a step further and record your affirmations in your own voice (ideally when in a positive or neutral mental state), suggests Connecticut-based clinical psychologist Kristina Hallett, PhD. Tailor the words to what feels true, and later, during trying times, you can listen to your own voice of wisdom and move forward with calm encouragement from the one who knows you best.

Our mental health stays balanced from many forms of help and we need to look at all angles.

Melinda

Reference:

Bipolar Hope

Celebrate Life · Fun · Mental Health · Music

#Weekend Music Share-King Tut- Steve Martin SNL 1978

What fun SNL was in the past!!!!! Look at the success on a langly young man.

It’s the weekend!!!!!!

 I’m glad you joined me for another edition of Weekend Music Share this week.

Have a great weekend!

Melinda

Welcome back to Weekend Music Share, the place where everyone can share their favorite music.

Feel free to use the Weekend Music Share banner in your post, and use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.

Children · Family · Health and Wellbeing · Internet Good/Bad · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

What Every Parent Needs To Know About Only Fans!!!!!

Only Fans has some celebrity pages but there is more hardcore pornography on the site than regular content.


I’m sure you’ve heard the news about kids being expelled from school because the parents have an Only Fans sticker on their vehicle, the sticker is so big it covers the entire back window. One woman not only had the sticker but was advertising her page. 


These parents are advertising a porn site at school and they know their kid will be expelled from school. How would you feel if your child was exposed to a porn site at school? I bet you would blow a stack!


The schools have told parents with the sticker to park on the street but they refuse. The school needs to call Social Services to visit the parents, if they determine that the kid is in an unhealthy environment they will take custody of the kid. The school needs to take photos of the license plate and the sticker to show Social Services. No telling what a visit from Child Services will find.


I don’t play around when it comes to kids, I go for the throat.


The kids are innocent. Can you imagine the stress, anger, and mental health of the kids? I want to know how many kids have committed suicide after being expelled. To kids, their world has crashed down on them. That’s my homework for today. 


I can’t imagine a parent more interested in making money instead of the student’s education and the stress it causes. Today alone I’ve read two stories about kids being expelled for what their parents are doing.


What is wrong here?


One kid was expelled because he was looking up people on Only Fans on a school computer. In this case, the kid made a very bad decision and knew better. The school said they would reconsider having him back but not right now. That kid should be kicked out. In this case, it was a private Christian school with strict rules and the parents signed a document saying they would comply with the rules, which includes the student’s behavior. 


They will go as far as showing up to pick up their kid, the parents are warned and the next day come back with the Only Fans stickers still on there and will continue to come back and their kid gets expelled from school. What is wrong with this picture? What kind of example are they teaching their kids.


I think it’s time to punish the parents, not the kids. There are many options like banning them from entering the school campus, having off-duty police at the entrance of the campus who will keep them from entering, a restraining order, and going to the police to report pornography and advertising to underage kids. I would also look to see if they can be charged for trespassing. When the police hear pornography and kids they will be very interested. I would also look to see if the parent can be charged for trespassing.


I would also call Child Services so the parents clearly understand they could lose custody if they continue. Harsh? Hell Yes! 


That’s what it is going to take.  We can’t let our kids be expelled from school because their parents are self-centered. The kid’s education and mental health will suffer. 


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPud8KhQqZU


The information in the video is on YouTube. I have not vetted the video as accurate information but that should not stop you from watching, it’s eye-opening. I had no idea who they were, I’ve seen the stickers but never went to their website until yesterday. 

Even though the site says over 18, there are many ways kids are getting membership, including using their parent’s credit card or fake documents.


When I went to the site, on the first page it showed people having sex, it was hardcore pornography. They get paid based on how many people visit their page and it costs to look at their site, every time. The same goes for any page you look at. Some go as far as offering a membership to their site for a monthly fee. 


I would not want my kid to be exposed to pornography until they leave home and they can make their own decisions. If they are old enough they already know about porn from their friends. 

Parents who will not take the Only Fans sticker off the car or park off campus, are selfish and don’t care if their kid gets kicked out of school. What kind of logic is that? I

A letter needs to be sent to all parents saying if your vehicle has an Only Fans sticker you must park off the school campus and park on the street. The parents already know but use stronger language and tell them that if continue there are serious consequences. No exceptions. Many schools have this problem and need to punish the parent, not the kid. 


I don’t know what can be done but I want to find out more. The link is to a story about a kid who committed suicide because other students were showing him photos of his mother. 

My cognitive impairment is worse, today, if something doesn’t flow or half of a sentence is missing, be gentle with me. 

Melinda


Repost

Celebrate Life · Fun · Mental Health · Music

#Weekend Music Share-John Mayer with Keith Urban-Don’t Let Me Down

John Mayer’s music rocks my world.

It’s the weekend!!!!!!

 I’m glad you joined me for another edition of Weekend Music Share this week.

Have a great weekend!

Melinda

Welcome back to Weekend Music Share, the place where everyone can share their favorite music.

Feel free to use the Weekend Music Share banner in your post, and use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.

Health and Wellbeing · Internet Good/Bad · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward

Ask the Doctor: How Safe Is AI for Mental Health Information?

It’s critical to remember AI pulls information from all souces and can’t be relied on as factual information.

AI offers quick information, yet it lacks the human insight required for safe, individualized mental health care.

Artificial intelligence (AI) has quickly become part of our daily lives. Whether it’s a chatbot answering questions online, an app offering mental health “coaching,” or a website summarizing medical information, the presence of AI in healthcare is growing rapidly. 

For many, these tools feel like an easy, convenient first step when they’re worried about a symptom or seeking information. And used wisely, AI can indeed be helpful. It is essential, however, to recognize the limitations and pitfalls of AI. 

What AI Can Do Well

AI tools are very good at providing general information. If you want to know the common side effects of drug “A,” the difference between two medications, or the meeting times for Alcoholics Anonymous meetings in your community, a quick query can often bring up what you need. A Google search uses AI. These tools can scan large amounts of digital information and summarize it in seconds. 

They can remind you of questions to ask your clinician or point you toward community resources you might not have known existed. As an educational tool, AI can help us feel more prepared and informed for a medical visit.

Where AI Falls Short: It Cannot Replace Human Insight

Problems arise when we begin using AI as a replacement for the clinical judgment of an experienced care provider. Clinical skills are developed over years of training and experience in patient care. The expertise acquired involves integrating judgment, logic, and reasoning on a background knowledge of the patient and circumstances. AI lacks this “lived and learned” experience and the insight that emerges only through direct clinical practice.

AI cannot understand the nuances of your personal history, context, values, or medical complexity. It cannot look you in the eye, notice subtle changes in your mood or tone of voice, or sense when you need extra reassurance or immediate intervention. These human qualities are a cherished and vital part of the clinical appointment. 

AI Can Make Mistakes — and Miss Warning Signs

Most importantly, AI tools can, and do, make mistakes. They may sound confident and reassuring while giving incomplete, misleading, or even inaccurate health information. 

It can be hard to know whether information, even when it sounds plausible, is outdated, incorrect, or completely made up (an AI “hallucination,” a term for when the system invents information that sounds believable but isn’t).

AI also lacks the ability to recognize emergencies. Someone searching phrases like “I can’t go on,” “I feel hopeless,” or “how to hurt myself” may receive generic wellness advice rather than the urgent, clear direction to reach crisis services. For individuals in distress, delays or misdirection carry serious risks.  

Human emotions and suffering are enormously complex, and it must be recognized that a significant number of individuals who die by suicide have seen a care provider in the weeks prior. Suicide is notoriously difficult to predict.

Chronic and pervasive thoughts of wanting to pass from this world are common among those living with mental health conditions. What are the signs of imminent action? Many who spend time with a provider in the weeks before death by suicide do not reveal a plan. If they had, the provider would be expected to put in place the process for immediate help. 

What they wouldn’t have done is what AI did in the past year, namely, helping write an explanatory letter about their upcoming suicide.  

Privacy Risks Are Real

There is also the major concern of privacy. Most AI systems collect data, more than we users realize. What you type into a chatbot is likely stored, used in some way, and may be shared with other systems. It’s important to be thoughtful and cautious about sharing personal details.  

Using AI Safely: A Helpful Tool, Not a Decision-Maker

So what is the safest way to use AI in mental health? Think of these tools simply as what they are: tools. Use them to gather background information, learn about treatment options, or locate community resources. AI can help you understand the vocabulary of mental health care, remind you of questions to ask your clinician, and empower you to participate more fully in your treatment.

But when it comes to making diagnostic decisions, adjusting medications, interpreting symptoms, or determining whether a treatment is right for you personally, AI should never replace the guidance of a trained clinician

Mental health care involves listening, observing, collaborating, and understanding people within the context of their lives. Follow-up questions for clarification are the hallmark of an experienced clinician. No matter how sophisticated the technology becomes, these human dimensions cannot be automated.

A Helpful Companion, With Careful Limits

AI is a useful tool, and I use it daily, as do many of my patients. But like any tool, it must be used carefully and wisely. Stay curious, stay informed, and above all, stay connected to the professionals who can provide the clinical judgment and personalized care that AI cannot.

Remember AI is a tool for basic information but is not factual.

Melinda

Reference:

https://www.bphope.com/ask-the-doctor-how-safe-is-ai-for-bipolar-disorder-information/?utm_source=iContact&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=bphope&utm_content=Best+-+Dec2+-+AI

Celebrate Life · Daily Writing Prompt · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Daily Writing Prompt

Daily writing prompt
What could you do less of?

For me, it’s what I could do more of because less is my way of life. A couple of years ago, I decided to live in the slow lane because of high stress levels and medical conditions requiring attention in addition to having Agoraphobia.

I’m fortunate that my stress levels have come way down since my husband retired in April 2025.

I wake up every day thinking about working in the garden, photography and driving again. Remaining positive will manifest good things in life.

Stay focused on the future and never give up.

Melinda

Looking for the Light

Celebrate Life · Fun · Mental Health · Music

#Weekend Music Share-Blues Brothers: Soul Man -SNL 1978

What a great classic tune. Their physical style of humor is still the best.

It’s the weekend!!!!!!

 I’m glad you joined me for another edition of Weekend Music Share this week.

Have a great weekend!

Melinda

Welcome back to Weekend Music Share, the place where everyone can share their favorite music.

Feel free to use the Weekend Music Share banner in your post, and use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

How Financial Stress Affects Your Wellbeing

Are worries about tariffs, inflation, and the future of your 401(k) causing you to stress eat and lose sleep? Unfortunately, for most people, financial stress is nothing new. 

“Studies have shown for decades that financial concerns are one of the leading causes of stress in our country, and until it is no longer a taboo topic, that’s not likely to change,” says Ashley Agnew, director of financial wellness and certified financial therapist at Centerpoint Advisors in Needham, Massachusetts.

Chronically high levels of anxiety about money can take a toll on your well-being, and even increase the likelihood of chronic illnesses like high blood pressure and heart disease.

All of this points to the importance of learning coping strategies that can help you manage financial stress and protect your mental and physical health.

When Financial Stress Becomes Toxic

“Normal financial stress tends to be situational; it’s often based on a specific event like moving or the holidays,” says Megan McCoy, PhD, associate professor at Kansas State and certified financial therapist in Manhattan.

If financial stress isn’t based around a specific event, and lasts more than three months, this may be a sign that your stress is turning into financial anxiety that may negatively impact your health, says Dr. McCoy.

According to McCoy, signs that could indicate severe or chronic financial stress include:

  • Persistent worries, panic attacks, excessive rumination about bills or debts, and fear of checking bank balances — or going in the other direction, and compulsively checking bank or retirement balances
  • Physical symptoms like recurrent headaches, stomachaches, or sleeping difficulties due to financial woes
  • Avoiding looking at or paying bills
  • Overusing alcohol and drugs to cope
  • Overspending due to anxiety or hopelessness
  • Relationship issues such as frequent arguments, withholding financial information from a partner, and lying about spending

How Financial Stress Impacts Your Health

Financial stress that’s gotten out of control can have health consequences.

Mental Health Issues

“People who have higher financial stress are at greater risk for anxiety disorders and clinical depression,” says McCoy.

Research suggests that financial strain — basically, the inability to cover expenses with available resources — is significantly associated with depression.

A review of 40 studies concluded that financial stress was linked with a greater likelihood of experiencing depression across all income levels, although this link was stronger for people with low incomes.

An online survey of over 1,600 adults found that 42 percent reported financially related panic or anxiety attacks. Younger generations such as Gen Zers and Millennials were particularly affected, with nearly half reporting these attacks — nearly double the rate found among Baby Boomers.

Shame and guilt can creep in due to financial stress, says McCoy. “Clients in financial therapy often describe feelings of unworthiness or guilt around unpaid debts or perceived poor financial decisions, making mental distress even worse,” she says.

A report on how financial stress impacts work found that worries about money caused a 34 percent increase in absenteeism and tardiness, and that financially stressed employees miss about twice as many work days each year compared with their non-financially-stressed counterparts.

Financial stress can also lead to negative coping behaviors, says McCoy. “Alcohol or drugs may be used to numb stress, creating dual crises — financial and addictive — that require integrated therapy approaches,” she says.

Sleep Problems

“People often report difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep when debts or bill payments weigh heavily on the mind,” says McCoy.

Experiencing financial strain is linked with insomnia, poor sleep quality, and not sleeping the recommended amount.

While a restless night here and there isn’t cause for concern, sleep issues that persist and become chronic can increase the likelihood of many chronic conditions, including dementia, heart disease, type 2 diabetes, and even cancers of the breast, colon, ovaries, and prostate.

Heart Disease and Other Chronic Illness

Stress triggers a series of physical reactions — your heart rate quickens, muscles tense, and breathing quickens — thanks to increased levels of the stress hormonescortisol and adrenaline (which act like messengers, readying the body to cope with a perceived threat). 

If this response is chronic, as can be the case with financial stress, it can lead to problems like hypertension, high cholesterol, and muscle pain.

Research suggests that people who are frequently stressed about having enough money to pay their rent or mortgage have double the risk of heart disease compared with people who saw themselves as financially secure.

A review of five studies that looked at heart health outcomes found that people under financial stress had a 19 percent greater risk for heart disease or a major cardiac event like a stroke or heart attack.

Financial stress has also been linked to worse biological health as measured by inflammatory biomarkers. Researchers found that financial strain was “the most detrimental to biological health,” compared with other kinds of stress, including death of a loved one or divorce, although the study authors said that more research was needed to confirm this finding. They theorized financial stress was the hardest on the body because it can affect so many areas of life, “leading to family conflict, social exclusion, and even hunger or homelessness.”

And for people who already have chronic conditions or health issues, financial stress may exacerbate the problems. “When money is scarce, people are more likely to skip doctor visits, ignore recommended treatments, or fail to fill prescriptions,” says McCoy.

How to Cope With Financial Stress

There are ways to manage financial stress that don’t involve winning the lottery. Remember, financial wellness is about feeling secure about your money matters (even if funds are low) and not feeling overwhelmed to the point where it takes a toll on your health.

“Acknowledging the problem is essential — avoidance only heightens fear,” says McCoy.

With her clients, McCoy normalizes stress around money and finances by reminding clients that many people struggle with the same issues and that help is available. “This helps them move past shame to tangible action,” she says.

From a financial therapy standpoint, improvement usually takes both practical financial steps and attention to emotional/behavioral patterns. McCoy suggests a potential plan of attacking your financial fears:

Create a realistic budget or spending plan. Track income and expenses, prioritize needs, and set attainable goals, like saving to create a small emergency savings target.

“A values-based approach can help you align spending with personal or family values, making the process more meaningful and less punitive,” McCoy says.

Engage professional support. Work with a financial counselor or planner to help with debt management, savings strategies, and long-term planning.

These financial wellness specialists include certified credit counselors, accredited financial counselors (AFC), or financial therapists who are trained to integrate financial knowledge with mental health.

Leverage workplace or community resources. Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) often provide free short-term counseling and financial education. Additionally, community nonprofits like cooperative extension offices or local credit unions may host free classes on budgeting or debt management.

Incorporate stress-management techniques. Consistent exercise, mindfulness, or journaling about money anxieties can help reduce the emotional intensity of financial worries. 

Build an emergency savings fund a little at a time. Even $50 a month can accumulate into a basic safety net. Small, steady progress fosters a sense of accomplishment, which is key to reducing stress.

The Takeaway

  • A certain amount of stress is normal, particularly when it is situational and related to a specific event.
  • Chronic financial stress, however, can harm both mental and physical health, increasing the risk of anxiety, depression, sleep problems, and heart disease.
  • While you can’t control all your financial stressors, you may be able to manage your response through realistic budgeting, professional support, and stress-reducing habits.

Resources We Trust

Melinda

Reference:

EveryDay Health

Celebrate Life · Daily Writing Prompt · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Self-Care

Daily Writing Prompt

Daily writing prompt
Are you more of a night or morning person?

Good question for which I have mixed answers for. I naturally tend towards being a night person because I love to sleep in a bit however during my working years, being a morning person was not an option and in fact towards the end of my career, I enjoyed waking up early to have a cup of coffee at home instead of on the way to work, to me coffee doesn’t taste the same while driving.

Now, I’m a bit of both because many nights I can’t sleep or sleep only a couple of hours which means I tend to take a nap mid-morning.

I’ve not been one to jump out of bed at 5:00 am to greet the day, what am I going to do at that hour?

Photo by Moon Bhuyan on Pexels.com

Melinda

Looking for the Light

Health and Wellbeing · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Eating Disorders Often Undiagnosed In Boys And Men

It may surprise you that more boys and men are diagnosed with Eating Disorders than girls and women? Part of the reason for not reaching out is the stigma around Mental Health support and the lack of education about the disorder.

Eating Disorders are complex and treatment directed toward males can be limited. Helping someone overcome an Eating Disorder requires patience, therapy, or a stay at an in-house treatment center. I’ve only read a couple of books on Eating Disorders and will say it’s a very long road of relapses to reach recovery.

Due to their own stigma parents and family often overlook the early warning signs and do not reach out for help until it’s a crisis.

EATING DISORDERS IN MEN & BOYS

In the United States alone, eating disorders will affect 10 million males at some point in their lives. But due in large part to cultural bias, they are much less likely to seek treatment for their eating disorder. The good news is that once a man finds help, they show similar responses to treatment as women. Several factors lead to men and boys being under- and undiagnosed for an eating disorder. Men can face a double stigma, for having a disorder characterized as feminine or gay and for seeking psychological help. Additionally, assessment tests with language geared to women and girls have led to misconceptions about the nature of disordered eating in men according to the National Eating Disorder Association.

COMMON SYMPTOMS OF AN EATING DISORDER

Emotional and Behavioral Symptoms

  • In general, behaviors and attitudes that indicate that weight loss, dieting, and control of food are becoming primary concerns
  • Preoccupation with weight, food, calories, carbohydrates, fat grams, and dieting
  • Refusal to eat certain foods, progressing to restrictions against whole categories of food (e.g., no carbohydrates, etc.)
  • Appears uncomfortable eating around others
  • Food rituals (e.g. eats only a particular food or food group [e.g. condiments], excessive chewing, doesn’t allow foods to touch)
  • Skipping meals or taking small portions of food at regular meals
  • Any new practices with food or fad diets, including cutting out entire food groups (no sugar, no carbs, no dairy, vegetarianism/veganism)
  • Withdrawal from usual friends and activities
  • Frequent dieting
  • Extreme concern with body size and shape
  • Frequent checking in the mirror for perceived flaws in appearance
  • Extreme mood swings

Physical Symptoms

  • Noticeable fluctuations in weight, both up and down
  • Stomach cramps, other non-specific gastrointestinal complaints (constipation, acid reflux, etc.)
  • Menstrual irregularities — missing periods or only having a period while on hormonal contraceptives (this is not considered a “true” period)
  • Difficulties concentrating
  • Abnormal laboratory findings (anemia, low thyroid and hormone levels, low potassium, low white and red blood cell counts)
  • Dizziness, especially upon standing
  • Fainting/syncope
  • Feeling cold all the time
  • Sleep problems
  • Cuts and calluses across the top of finger joints (a result of inducing vomiting)
  • Dental problems, such as enamel erosion, cavities, and tooth sensitivity
  • Dry skin and hair, and brittle nails
  • Swelling around area of salivary glands
  • Fine hair on body (lanugo)
  • Cavities, or discoloration of teeth, from vomiting
  • Muscle weakness
  • Yellow skin (in context of eating large amounts of carrots)
  • Cold, mottled hands and feet or swelling of feet
  • Poor wound healing
  • Impaired immune functioning

The list of symptoms is long because it’s all-encompassing.

I encourage you to visit National Eating Disorder Association for a breakdown of the seven types of Eating Disorders and other behavioral and food concerns. Finding the underlying causes requires a trained professional in the right setting, an individual plan, and most importantly support from family and friends.

When looking for the right professional, talk with them about their approach and experience before introducing them to the patient. Finding the right approach may require research and time. It’s important to do this on the front end if possible. An approved method and training will make all the difference on the road to recovery. Disruptions during treatment can interfere with the recovery process making the patient resistant to continued treatment.

Melinda

References

National Eating Disorder Org.

Celebrate Life · Fun · Mental Health · Music

#Weekend Music Share-John Mayer, Ed Sheeran – Thinking Out Loud – 2019 – Live in Tokyo

It’s the weekend!!!!!!

 I’m glad you joined me for another edition of Weekend Music Share this week.

Have a great weekend!

Melinda

Welcome back to Weekend Music Share, the place where everyone can share their favorite music.

Feel free to use the Weekend Music Share banner in your post, and use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.

Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Mental Health

Wordless Wednesday-Vibrant Colored Floral Arrangement

I’m glad you joined me on Wordless Wednesday and I hope to see you soon.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

December Awareness Month

Every month there is a long list of awareness months, weeks and days which is why I only include a partial list. I encourage you to read the full list, and you can find it by clicking here or at the bottom of the post.

HIV/AIDS Awareness Month
National Drunk & Drugged Driving Prevention Month
National Human Rights Month
Seasonal Affective Disorder Awareness Month
Universal Human Rights Month
Worldwide Food Service Safety Month

Melinda

Reference:

https://www.goodgoodgood.co/articles/december-awareness-days-months

Health and Wellbeing · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

How Grief Shows Up In Your Body

It’s surprising how physical grief can be. Your heart literally aches. A memory comes up that causes your stomach to clench or a chill to run down your spine. Some nights, your mind races, and your heart races along with it, your body so electrified with energy that you can barely sleep. Other nights, you’re so tired that you fall asleep right away. You wake up the next morning still feeling exhausted and spend most of the day in bed.

Amy Davis, a 32-year-old from Bristol, TN, became sick with grief after losing Molly, a close 38-year-old family member, to cancer. “Early grief was intensely physical for me,” Davis says. “After the shock and adrenaline of the first weeks wore off, I went through a couple of months of extreme fatigue, with nausea, headaches, food aversion, mixed-up sleep cycles, dizziness, and sun sensitivity. It was extremely difficult to do anything. … If there’s one thing I want people to know about grief, it’s how awful it can make your body feel.”

What causes these physical symptoms? A range of studies reveal the powerful effects grief can have on the body. Grief increases inflammation, which can worsen health problems you already have and cause new ones. It batters the immune system, leaving you depleted and vulnerable to infection. The heartbreak of grief can increase blood pressure and the risk of blood clots. Intense grief can alter the heart muscle so much that it causes “broken heart syndrome,” a form of heart disease with the same symptoms as a heart attack.

Stress links the emotional and physical aspects of grief. The systems in the body that process physical and emotional stress overlap, and emotional stress can activate the nervous system as easily as physical threats can. When stress becomes chronic, increased adrenaline and blood pressure can contribute to chronic medical conditions.

Research shows that emotional pain activates the same regions of the brain as physical pain. This may be why painkilling drugs ranging from opioids to Tylenolhave been shown to ease emotional pain.

Normal vs. Pathological Grief

Depression is not a normal part of grief, but a complication of it. Depression raises the risk of grief-related health complications and often requires treatment to resolve, so it’s important to know how to recognize its symptoms. Sidney Zisook, MD, a grief researcher and professor of psychiatry at the University of California, San Diego, says people can distinguish normal grief from depression by looking for specific emotional patterns.

“In normal grief, the sad thoughts and feelings typically occur in waves or bursts followed by periods of respite, as opposed to the more persistent low mood and agony of major depressive disorder,” Zisook says.

He says people usually retain “self-esteem, a sense of humor, and the capacity to be consoled or distracted from the pain” in normal grief, while people who are depressed struggle with feelings of guilt and worthlessness and a limited ability “to experience or anticipate any pleasure or joy.”

Complicated grief differs from both depression and normal grief. M. Katherine Shear, MD, a professor of psychiatry at Columbia University’s School of Social Work and director of its Center for Complicated Grief, defines complicated grief as “a form of persistent, pervasive grief” that does not get better naturally. It happens when “some of the natural thoughts, feelings, or behaviors that occur during acute grief gain a foothold and interfere with the ability to accept the reality of the loss.”

Symptoms of complicated grief include persistent efforts to ignore the grief and deny or “rewrite” what happened. Complicated grief increases the risk of physical and mental health problems like depression, anxiety, sleep issues, suicidal thoughts and behaviors, and physical illness.

How Does Avoidance Harm Your Health?

Margaret Stroebe, PhD, a bereavement researcher and professor of clinical psychology at Utrecht University, says that recent research has shed light on many of “the cognitive and emotional processes underlying complications in grieving, particularly rumination.”

Research shows that rumination, or repetitive, negative, self-focused thought, is actually a way to avoid problems. People who ruminate shift attention away from painful truths by focusing on negative material that is less threatening than the truths they want to avoid. This pattern of thinking is strongly associated with depression.

ways grief can affect your body infographic

Rumination and other forms of avoidance demand energy and block the natural abilities of the body and mind to integrate new realities and heal. Research by Stroebe, and others shows that avoidance behavior makes depression, complicated grief, and the physical health problems that go with them more likely. Efforts to avoid the reality of loss can cause fatigue, weaken your immune system, increase inflammation, and prolong other ailments.

How Do Role Adjustments Affect Your Health?

When someone close to you dies, your social role changes, too. This can affect your sense of meaning and sense of self.

Before losing Molly, Davis says she found a personal sense of value in “being good at helping other people and taking care of them.” But after Molly died, she felt like she “couldn’t help anyone for a while.” Losing this role “dumped the bucket” of her identity “upside down.” Davis says, “I felt like I had nothing to offer. So I had to learn my value from other angles.”

Caregivers face especially complicated role adjustments. The physical and emotional demands of caregiving can leave them feeling depleted even before a loved one dies, and losing the person they took care of can leave them with a lost sense of purpose.

“Research shows that during intense caregiving periods, caregivers not only experience high levels of stress, they also cannot find the time and energy to look after their own health,” says Kathrin Boerner, PhD, a bereavement researcher and professor of gerontology at the University of Massachusetts in Boston.

“This can result in the emergence of new or the reemergence of existing ‘dormant’ health problems after the death of the care recipient. These health issues may or may not be directly related to the caregiver’s grief experience, but they are likely related to the life situation that was created through the demands of caregiving,” Boerner says.

It can be hard to make life work again after a close family member dies. Losing a partner can mean having to move out of a shared home or having to reach out to other loved ones for help, which can further increase emotional stress and worry. Strobe says the stress of adjusting to changes in life and health during and after a loss can “increase vulnerability and reduce adaptive reserves for coping with bereavement.”

What Can You Do to Cope With Grief?

Emotional and physical self-care are essential ways to ease complications of grief and boost recovery. Exercising, spending time in nature, getting enough sleep, and talking to loved ones can help with physical and mental health.

“Most often, normal grief does not require professional intervention,” says Zisook. “Grief is a natural, instinctive response to loss, adaptation occurs naturally, and healing is the natural outcome,” especially with “time and the support of loved ones and friends.”

For many people going through a hard time, reaching out is impossible. If your friend is in grief, reach out to them.Amy Davis

Grief researchers emphasize that social support, self-acceptance, and good self-care usually help people get through normal grief. (Shear encourages people to “plan small rewarding activities and try to enjoy them as much as possible.”) But the researchers say people need professional help to heal from complicated grief and depression.

Davis says therapy and physical activities like going for walks helped her cope. Social support helped most when friends tried to reach out instead of waiting or asking her to reach out to them.

“The thing about grief and depression and sorrow and being suicidal is that you can’t reach out. For many people going through a hard time, reaching out is impossible. If your friend is in grief, reach out to them. Do the legwork. They’re too exhausted!”

Davis’ advice to most people who are grieving is to “Lean into it. You only get to grieve your loved one once. Don’t spend the whole time trying to distract yourself or push it down. It does go away eventually, and you will miss feeling that connected to that person again. And if you feel like your whole life has fallen apart, that’s fine! It totally has. Now you get to decide how to put yourself back together. Be creative. There’s new life to be lived all around you.

Melinda

Reference:

“WebMD News Special Report Reviewed by Neha Pathak, MD on July 11, 2019