Communicating · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward

Things I’ve Learned In 61 Years Part Five

If your boss beats you down in front of others in a meeting, makes you the scapegoat, and never stands up for you, look for another job immediately. If you have the cash to float, give them the finger, you’re getting fired anyway.

If your department has been cut to the quick and you are forced over and over to cut, run like hell. You’re next.

If the President of your company beats you down in a meeting with your peers and gives a directive to your boss regarding your department, give them the finger and run like hell.

Even if you are on a salary that doesn’t mean you’re available 24/7 to take calls. If they are a top-level executive, they made the decision to marry their job, other employees are not paid the same, and should not be expected to be available you your beck and call.

If you schedule time off work and are expected to work, cancel the PTO day. Why lose pay when you’re working.

When you actually get to take a day off, don’t answer your phone, period. Nothing is so important that your boss can’t take care of, if so then let them fall on their face.

If you walk and push your baby stroller in my grass instead of the sidewalk, you might find a few big surprises next time.

If you let your shrubs grow in my yard, I will trim them myself. Tall trees are different, I will let you know when it’s time to call the tree company for a trim. I have one clueless neighbor. One year the city wrote them fines for their trees growing too far into the street. He had let them grow for years and when the tree guy came out, they cut a ton off and butchered the trees. That’s what you get when you use the lawn guy to cut trees.

The way to trim a tree if you are getting too much shade is not to cut the top of the tree off. You might as well chop it down. And don’t forget to have the stumps removed, they are unsightly and if you can’t afford to remove the stump, how can you afford to buy the house. It brings down the value of your neighbor’s houses.

If you have trees in your yard, learn how to take care of them and have them trimmed by professionals. The money spent will come back when you sell the house.

If you are treated unacceptably write the corporate headquarters, send the letter to the CEO and any other executives you think are responsible for the department which you received the treatment from. Don’t send an email, write an actual letter on the computer or by hand and mail it to each one. They will be shocked to receive a letter and you will already have their attention. That doesn’t guarantee a response back but no doubt the issue will get looked into. The first thing to remember is to cool your temper first, spend a few days drafting the letter, and take a look inside, ask yourself, are you the problem or is it the companies? Don’t write the letter in a negative tone, instead write to inform them of an issue or issues that you believe need their attention.

If your pharmacy fills a prescription you didn’t need or fills it incorrectly, don’t accept it and make them put it back on the shelf or correct it. It doesn’t matter if the prescription is free or not, they still make money if you accept it.

If your pharmacy regularly tells you the wrong answer, get in the habit of writing down the name of the person you are talking to. My pharmacy is famous for this behavior. Pharmacists have too much power and at least at my location they interpret the law and rules differently.

It’s important to know how your pharmacy fills prescriptions. Do they refill on the date it was filed or the date it was picked up? They are very different and if they don’t use a solid process, you may have to run to the pharmacy today because you’re out.

If your partner or friends interrupt you before saying the second sentence or make a comment that isn’t relative it is frustrating but not worth fighting over because they will not change. 

If you work for a Japanese company that has a facility in America, they expect you to have a Japanese work ethic which is work long after your boss calls it a day, work when you are off work, and have late-night meetings to accommodate the time frame difference every week, they will distrust you and will always believe whatever a Japanese employee says before you. You also have to be available 24/7 and it’s a tick against you if you’re not. If you far exceed the American work ethic but your work ethic isn’t up to Japanese standards you’re considered a slacker. 

Using a company’s reward perks can pay off if they have a good program. Amazon where I shop for almost everything has a Subscribe & Save program. If you know you buy an item at the same time every month, subscribe and save money. Sometimes it’s 5% and others it’s 15%. I’m learning to take advantage of these savings and it’s reassuring to know you can change or cancel anytime.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Self-Care

Things I’m Loving-Health, Wellness And Household

Here are a few products I’m loving with right now. I hope you find a product to add to your household or self-care routine. The list may also give you ideas for a surprise for friends, and family. Most products are found on Amazon. I am not an Amazon Affiliate and do not make a commission on any product you choose to buy. All links take you directly to the company of the product on Amazon. Clicking on the links does not cost you more.

 

FIRST HONEY®

Manuka Honey Cream for Dry & Itchy Skin | Fast Relief for Eczema, Rosacea, Psoriasis, & Dermatitis | Natural & No Fillers | Safe for Babies & Toddlers | 3.5 oz

Made with the highest quality medical grade Manuka honey to target the treatment of distressed skin. Anti inflammatory, moisturizing, and naturally soothing, our fast-acting skin cream can help reduce swelling, increase skin regeneration, and calm skin irritations. Gentle enough for everyday use, our formula works with the nature of your skin, not against it,
to rebalance, restore and protect.

30% medical grade Mänuka honey with natural healing and anti-inflammatory properties draws moisture into the skin while creating a barrier to protect distressed skin from pathogens. All natural emollients deliver additional antioxidants and vitamins A, C and E to soothe skin irritations and increase
skin regeneration. Aids in healthy skin barrier function and prevention of transepidermal water loss.

Visit the FIRST HONEY Store

I have Ecxema on my face and ears and my prescription cream wasn’t working. I tried another balm but it didn’t provide any results but this balm is a miracle worker. It has diminished all the spots except for the worst one on my left eyelid however it has improved and I’ve only used it for three days. I’ve already purchased another one in case I can’t find it next time. 

 

Fruit Fly Trap for Indoors

Fly Traps Indoor for Home Bug Zapper Indoor Insect Trap with Suction, Time Setting, Bug Light & 10 Pcs Sticky Glue Boards (White)

  • Effective Result: Place insect traps indoor near fruits, plants or garbage cans and turn off lights for best effect. Fly traps catch fruit flies, mosquitoes, small insectsmoths and small bugs, paired with sticky glueboards, insects have nowhere to escape.
  • Time Setting Option: Plug in the usb cable and adapter, press the bug traps indoor on/off button to work. Continuous run or 6/12 hours timing function, more convenient to daily use.
  • Widely Use and Low Noise: Fruit fly traps for indoors adopts physical mosquito control, safe and low noise. Mosquito trap are commonly used in homes, kitchen, living room, restaurants, and other areas where flies can be a nuisance or a health hazard.

Brand: FVOAI

We have Zevo traps in multiple places in the house but the backdoor attracts more than you can believe. The refills are not inexpensive so I bought this one for the backdoor, you can get 50 refills for under $20 which is a bargain compared to Zevo. It’s quiet and attracts the tiny flying bugs as well as Zevo or maybe better. 

 

Theraspa Professional Nail & Cuticle Oil

2.0 fl oz – Nourished with Jojoba, Avocado, Vitamin E, and Biotin (B7) for Superior Hydration, Repair, Revitalization, and Strengthening (Olive)

  • Comprehensive Nail Care: A harmonious blend of these ingredients creates a powerhouse formula for overall nail and cuticle health.
  • Holistic Approach: Addresses multiple aspects, from hydration to strength and appearance, for comprehensive nail and cuticle care.
  • Portable: Compact design allows for on-the-go nail care, ensuring your nails stay nourished anytime, anywhere.
  • Free from Harsh Chemicals: Formulated without common irritants, the Avocado Oil, Jojoba Oil, Biotin, and Vitamin E provide a soothing experience for your nails and cuticles.
  • Suitable for All Skin Types: The formula is gentle and well-tolerated, making it suitable for individuals with sensitive skin.

I’ve used an expensive brand for years, it had a built-in brush and smelled out of this world but it didn’t last long. When it was time to buy again I went looking for one without a brush and a larger size. Boy, I hit the jackpot with this brand. I purchased the Olive blend and it smells great and the bottle holds so much more that it will last a long time. 

Visit the THERAPISPA Store

 

Waiakea Hawaiian Volcanic Coffee

Vanilla & Mocha Combo Pack – Ready to Drink Canned Coffee

Natural Volcanic Filtration

Waiakea Hawaiian Volcanic Water

Naturally alkaline with pH range of 7.6-8.2

LIVE ETHICALLY BS 4

Visit the Waiakea Store

Due to the problems I’m having with my Eshophgus my morning coffee is out of the question for now. After two months I was missing my coffee so badly that I started trying cold-brewed lattes. One of the biggest issues I had with the brands I tried was they were too sweet which isn’t my style. This brand has 70% less sugar and tastes so good. They are more expensive but life is too short to drink bad coffee. 

 

Blink Tears Lubricating Eye Drops

0.5 fl oz (15 mL) Eye Care for Mild to Moderate Dry Eyes, Hyaluronate for Boosting Hydration, Moisturizing & Soothing Eye Drops for Dry Eyes

  • Relief with Every Blink: Experience immediate and long-lasting dry eye symptom relief with Blink Tears Lubricating Eye Drops. These moisturizing eye drops instantly soothe & hydrate, restoring your tears’ natural salt balance and maximizing hydration
  • Hydration Boost with Hyaluronate: Our lubricating eye drops for dry eyes instantly moisturize mild to moderate dry eyes. The unique formula of the eye drop quickly thickens and stabilizes your tear film
  • Moisture Hold: Blink eye drops are formulated to stay in the eye for long-lasting dryness relief. These lubricant eye drops maximize hydration and provide comfort
  • Reduce Everyday Discomfort: These drops provide lubrication and hydration to the surface of the eye, keeping the eye moist

Visit the BLINK Store

I have struggled with Dry Eyes for as long as I can remember and have tried so many brands it’s crazy. I first used the regular version and bought this at CVS when I noticed it was an improvement. Boy, what a difference they have made. I still use a prescription but they burn so I put these in afterwards and use it during the day. No more dry eye! 

I hope you find one or more of these products useful for you or a family member. 

Melinda

Chronic Illness · Communicating · Health and Wellbeing · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Mental Illness · Moving Forward

When a Loved One Denies Their Bipolar Diagnosis

By Julie A. Fast 

Medically Reviewed by Allison Young, MD

Last Updated: 21 Aug 2024

Although it’s incredibly frustrating when someone is in denial of having bipolar disorder, it’s important to remember that acceptance cannot be forced.

It can be upsetting, stressful, and downright incomprehensible when someone with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder denies the mental health condition and refuses treatment. You may find yourself watching helplessly as behaviors tied to untreated bipolar lead to family distress, broken relationships, problems at school and work, money woes, and alcohol and drug abuse.

If you try to help someone in denial, you will probably be accused of interfering if you even mention the word “bipolar.” This is confusing, because it’s very easy for you to see what’s wrong, and naturally you want to point out the problem in hopes that the person will then get help. Often, however, your attempt just makes things worse.

RELATED: 8 Essential Things to Know When First Diagnosed With Bipolar Disorder

It hurts when a person in denial shuts you out, but, sadly, it’s common.

What’s even more confusing is that you can have an honest conversation about bipolar when your loved one is stablereviving your hopes that the person will enter or stick with treatment. Then … boom! Here comes the denial again.

Learning to Accept That Your Loved One Is in Denial About Their Bipolar Diagnosis

It may be cold comfort to learn that it is very typical behavior for people with bipolar disorder to deny they are “sick” and to avoid treatment, even if they have been in the hospital or taken medications for bipolar in the past.

Also, it’s important to remember that people in denial are usually miserable, in a great deal of internal pain, and can’t see a way out. It’s easy to believe they really can’t see what’s going on. But unless denial is a result of a mood swing — such as strong mania or paranoia — the affected individuals usually know what is happening. They respond to your concern with aggression, because they are trying to protect their decision to deny the brain-based disorder.

It hurts when a person in denial shuts you out, but it’s common. The person prefers to be around others who don’t mention bipolar, and will paint you as the “bad guy” because you are the one who is stating the truth.

RELATED: 10 Ways to Support Someone Who Has Bipolar

There is good news, however. I’ve talked with hundreds of people who moved through denialto eventually admitting that bipolar is at the root of their problems and they needed help. Over and over again, I’ve been told how, despite their relentless inner pain and confusion, they refused help and pushed away the people who cared about them.

It’s when someone realizes they no longer want a life controlled by bipolar disorder that they begin to listen to loving advice instead of fighting back.

Steps to Take When a Loved One Is in Denial About Their Bipolar Diagnosis

If your loved one continues to be in denial of their bipolar diagnosis, here are a few things to keep in mind.

  • Find the sweet spot: Are there periods when your loved one is more open to discussion? Oftentimes, people are more receptive during a mild depressive episode. Once you see a pattern in your loved one’s moods, you’ll have a better sense of when to gently start a conversation.
  • Set expectations: If a loved one with bipolar is living with you, you have the right to set expectations for behaviors, such as drug use, drinking, yelling, staying in bed all day, staying out all hours, and yes, refusing treatment. You are always in control of what works best for you. It’s not always about the person with the mental health condition. It will be up to you to decide the consequences — and set and reinforce boundaries — if your expectations aren’t met.
  • Understand the challenges: Always remember that bipolar is a mental health condition. No one chooses to have bipolar disorder. People in denial can be very unpleasant, and it’s easy to walk away from them, but don’t forget they are suffering. It’s okay to address this directly. Go ahead and say you understand that it must be hard to have someone tell you what to do. Say that you can tell they feel misunderstood. People in denial may get angry or refuse to reply, but they have heard you. Many times, when they get better, they will tell you they heard you.
  • Hold onto hope: I’ve known many people who accepted treatment after years of being in denial, often when loved ones learned simple strategies and got them help at the right time. It isn’t easy to hang on until then. Nothing with bipolar disorder is easy! But bipolar is treatable, even for those who currently refuse to admit they are unwell and need help.


UPDATED: Printed as “Fast Talk: The Denial Factor,” Summer 2011

Julie A. Fast

Julie A. Fast is the author of the bestselling mental health books Take Charge of Bipolar DisorderLoving Someone with Bipolar Disorder: Understanding and Helping Your PartnerGetting It Done When You’re DepressedOMG, That’s Me! (vol. 2), and The Health Cards Treatment System for Bipolar Disorder. She is a longtime bp Magazine writer and the top blog contributor, with over 5 million blog views. Julie is also a researcher and educator who focuses on bipolar disorder prevention and ways to recognize mood swings from the beginning—before they go too far and take over a person’s life. She works as a parent and partner coach and regularly trains health care professionals, including psychiatric residents, pharmacists, general practitioners, therapists, and social workers, on bipolar disorder and psychotic disorder management. She has a Facebook group for parents, The Stable Table, and for partners, The Stable Bed. Julie is the recipient of the Mental Health America excellence in journalism award and was the original consultant for Claire Danes’s character on the TV show Homeland. Julie had the first bipolar disorder blog and was instrumental in teaching the world about bipolar disorder triggers, the importance of circadian rhythm sleep, and the physical signs of bipolar disorder, such as recognizing mania in the eyes. Julie lives with bipolar disorder, a psychotic disorder, anxiety, and ADD.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Fun · Mental Health · Photography · Self-Care · Travel

Wordless Wednesday-Flowerama

I’m glad you joined me on Wordless Wednesday and I hope to see you soon.

 

 

My husband went to Costco and bought flowers as usual but I had fresh flowers already. Then I went to a store across town to get my almond milk and I could not pass up the mini arrangement for my office. I am overjoyed this week with all the fresh flowers, this rarely happens.

Melinda

Health and Wellbeing · Infectious Diease · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

West Nile Is Now A Global Crisis

There is a global crisis warning about the West Nile Virus and the areas it effects are growing by the day. West Nile is new to many countries and we have to take notice.

What is West Nile?

West Nile virus (WNV) is a single-stranded RNA virus that causes West Nile fever. It is a member of the family Flaviviridae, from the genus Flavivirus, which also contains the Zika virus, dengue virus, and yellow fever virus. The virus is primarily transmitted by mosquitoes, mostly species of Culex. The primary hosts of WNV are birds, so that the virus remains within a “bird–mosquito–bird” transmission cycle.[1] The virus is genetically related to the Japanese encephalitis family of viruses. Humans and horses both exhibit disease symptoms from the virus, and symptoms rarely occur in other animals.

Contrary to popular belief, West Nile virus was not named directly after the Nile River, but rather, after the West Nile district of Uganda where the virus was first isolated in 1937.[2]However, the names are indirectly connected since that district of Uganda is named after the Albert Nile, a tributary of the Nile River in this region. After its original discovery there, it was found in many other parts of the world. Most likely, it spread from the original West Nile district.

What are the symptoms of West Nile?

West Nile virus (WNV) is usually spread by mosquitoes that become infected when they feed on infected birds, which often carry the disease.[53] Rarely the virus is spread through blood transfusions, organ transplants, or from mother to baby during pregnancy, delivery, or breastfeeding,[53] but it otherwise does not spread directly between people.[55] Risks for severe disease include being over 60 years old and having other health problems.[53] Diagnosis is typically based on symptoms and blood tests.[53]

What time of year is West Nile most active?

According to the Center for Disease Control, infection with West Nile Virus is seasonal in temperate zones. Climates that are temperate, such as those in the United States and Europe, see peak season from July to October. Peak season changes depending on geographic region and warmer and humid climates can see longer peak seasons.[58] All ages are equally likely to be infected but there is a higher amount of death and neuroinvasive West Nile Virus in people 60–89 years old.[58] People of older age are more likely to have adverse effects.[citation needed]

There are several modes of transmission, but the most common cause of infection in humans is by being bitten by an infected mosquito. Other modes of transmission include blood transfusion, organ transplantation, breast-feeding, transplacental transmission, and laboratory acquisition. These alternative modes of transmission are extremely rare.[59]

Prevention

Prevention efforts against WNV mainly focus on preventing human contact with and being bitten by infected mosquitoes. This is twofold, first by personal protective actions and second by mosquito-control actions. When a person is in an area that has WNV, it is important to avoid outdoor activity, and if they go outside they should use a mosquito repellent with DEET.[59] A person can also wear clothing that covers more skin, such as long sleeves and pants. Mosquito control can be done at the community level and include surveillance programs and control programs including pesticides and reducing mosquito habitats. This includes draining standing water. Surveillance systems in birds is particularly useful.[60] If dead birds are found in a neighborhood, the event should be reported to local authorities. This may help health departments do surveillance and determine if the birds are infected with West Nile Virus.[61]

This is all important information to know and to know and how to prevent. The outcome of getting the virus is serious even life-threatening.

Melinda

References:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/West_Nile_virus#Humans

 

Blogging · Celebrate Life · Fun · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Travel

Sending A Special Thank You To the Countries Who Have Visited My Blog-Malta, Argentina, Cyprus And France

Thank you for inviting me into your life by visiting my blog. I appreciate you and get my itch to travel through you. The only country I’ve traveled to is France. I stayed in Paris for a week and had the time of my life. I’m from Texas and have an accent, you can imagine how the few words I could say in French sounded. I stayed in the welcoming 12th arrondissement, and my replies were met with a smile. I saw the touristy areas which were amazing, spent a half day at the Palace of Versailles, and took a train to the Taittinger winery. I looked forward to a tour even though I didn’t understand French but the cellars were amazing. Taittinger is one of my favorite champagnes and rivals several of the more expensive brands I’ve tasted. Bringing back six bottles was an effort.

I look forward to returning to France to visit the wine country and tour more wineries.

As for the other countries, a visit to your country is on my bucket list. I am ready to travel Internationally again but not ready to get on an airplane, it’s not safe right now. Too many systems going down, understaffing and widows blowing out of aircraft for my comfort level.

I hope this post finds you happy and healthy. :)

Melinda

Blogging · Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Blogger Highlight-Willie Torres Jr.

Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their blog with you. This week we highlight Willie Torres Jr. We have only followed each other for a short time but we become fast friends. He is a joy to talk to, a talented writer, and a is a man of God. I feel comfortable talking to him in a way that I don’t with most others.

Willie Torres Jr.

My name is William Torres, but my family and friends call me Willie. It is a pleasure to be here with you today, and I am excited to share my faith journey with you.

My journey has been amazing and fulfilling as a new Christian. I have seen God work in my life in ways I never could have imagined. I have grown closer to my faith and have seen Him work in my life and the lives of those around me. I am truly blessed to call myself a Christian, and I am excited to continue to grow in my faith.

I began writing stories that I believe were inspired by the Holy Spirit. These stories are my testimonies about the different trials I have gone through, and how the Lord has helped me to overcome them. Through this process, I’ve discovered that I can forgive those I once vowed to never forgive, and in turn, my relationships with them have been restored. They are now a huge blessing and a special part of my life.

I have also started a Social Media Ministry on Facebook, which I invite you to visit here. Being Crazy For Christ is a platform where I share my journey of faith, and I am also on YouTube – Willie Torres Jr. and I am excited to see all that God will do through it.

I find all of Willie’s posts inspiring and enjoyed this recent post. It’s called One Stormy Might.

Rain Stormy Might

Be sure to stop by and say hello. Pull up a chair, and read through his archives. You will find his style of writing uplifting and down-to-earth.

Melinda

Looking for the Light

 

Communicating · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward

The Behaviors That Get On My Last Nerve

This post isn’t a rant, it’s more of a message for those who behave this way. I have no tolerance for bad behavior, it’s rude and uncalled for. 

Here is a sampling of bad behaviors I can live without.

Cutting in line, or leaving a beer in line doesn’t count. Go to the back of the line.

Harassing the elderly.

Feeling entitled.

Weaving in and out of traffic.

Driving 40 miles over the speed limit.

Thinking you’re better than others.

Throwing trash anywhere.

Thinking the rules aren’t for you.

When you drive in water that is too deep, you get what you deserve. You need to pay to be rescued.

Thinking you aren’t responsible for paying off your college loan.

Parking your car in front of your house when there is room in the driveway.

When the neighbor’s pool company parks their truck in the alley and blocks traffic.

When someone talks over another person, unless it’s an emergency shut up and wait your turn. You’re not that important.

People who don’t flush the toilet.

Someone decides for me, it’s not your place and I have a perfectly good brain.

If someone rides my bumper, I may slam on the brakes. Gun or not, I’ve done it before.

If you talk down to someone, you need a bitch slap.

Crosswalks at a street light are for people, not your vehicle. 

If you are in front of someone while entering or leaving a building, you have the extra few seconds to let them go first and hold the door open for them.

Don’t take photos of others without their permission unless they are committing a crime, following you, or vandalizing property.

These are a few that come to mind this morning.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Chronic Illness · Communicating · Health and Wellbeing · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Mental Illness · Moving Forward

13 Celebrities Who Embrace Their Bipolar Disorder

 

These 13 celebs accept their bipolar and are using their platforms to break the stigma and push for acceptance of brain-based conditions.

By Jade Zora Scibilia

Whether you love them or “love to hate them,” celebrities can make a real difference, especially when they take a stand for something positive. The following stars with bipolar disorder use their fame (and occasional notoriety) to draw our attention to what really matters, start meaningful conversations among loved ones and policymakers, break the silencing effect of social stigma, and enhance both awareness and acceptance of this brain-based disorder. These celebrities — among others — have had a life-affirming, morale-boosting impact. Whether through a “tell-all” interview or memoir, a powerful pop song, or a moving on-screen performance, these stars continue to rally people with bipolar — and their supporters — to power through and find the hope of a new day.
1. Faye DunawayIn the HBO documentary Faye, the iconic Faye Dunaway, now 83, talks about her lifelong battle with mental health, including her bipolar disorder diagnosis.“Emotion is a strength, not a weakness,” she shared with The Independentat the documentary’s premiere in Cannes in May 2024. Dunaway reflects on how her intense emotions fueled her performances but also contributed to her reputation for being difficult on set — earning her the nickname “the dreaded Dunaway” (and “Dread” for short) from Jack Nicholson during Chinatown. In the documentary, Dunaway candidly discusses how she’s worked with doctors and taken medication to manage her mood swings. She acknowledges it’s been difficult, but “it’s something I’ve had to deal with and overcome and understand. It’s part of who I am.” 
2. Alan RitchsonYou may know Alan Ritchson as the star of Prime Video’s Reacher, but did you know he also lives with bipolar disorder? Diagnosed at 36, the now 41-year-old actor has been open about his struggles.“As much as I would like to ignore that I’m a suicide survivor, if I didn’t share what I’ve learned, I feel like my life would be meaningless,” Ritchson told CBC Radio’s “Q” program. “I’ve always been a happy-go-lucky guy, but once you experience the grip [of depression] — the talons it can sink into you — you realize how sinister this thing is and how out of control the biology can really be.”

Click to Read More

Jade Zora Scibilia is a former editor at bpHope, bp Magazine and Esperanza. She was formerly the managing editor at Prometheus Booksand the senior editor of Seventh Street Books and Pyr. She is also the author of two nonfiction children’s books.


I applaud anyone who steps out and embraces their mental illness, there is still a stigma, and those who are public about it are brave and very strong.

Melinda

References:
https://www.bphope.com/bipolar-buzz/celebrities-who-embrace-their-bipolar-disorder/?utm_source=iContact&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=bphope&utm_content=BUZZ+-+Aug25+-+Celebrities

Chronic Illness · Communicating · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Trauma

National Grief Awareness Day August 30

Grief has touched millions of lives at one point or another and many have grieved several times. I know grief well, two of my close friends in high school died, my father died in 1992, my Granny died in 2005 and my Gramp’s in 2010. Everyone grieves differently and there is no time frame regardless of what people say. Who would tell a parent how long to grieve for their child, I would pray that no one is that uneducated. My father commited suicide and I spent seven years grieving yet as much as I loved my Grandparents and as close as we were, I grieved less. Maybe it was because I was a caregiver to both.

The key to grieving is giving yourself the time you need yet not get stuck there. We all have to move forward.

What Is National Grieving Awareness Day About?

This National Grief Awareness Day on August 30 is dedicated to raising awareness of the myriad ways in which individuals cope with loss. It offers resources to those going through personal losses and reminds us to support people we know who are grieving. National Grief Awareness Day, founded by Angie Cartwright in 2014, hopes to encourage open communication on loss and bereavement and better inform the public on the facts of grief.

Grief is one of the oldest and most enduring aspects of the human experience. If you haven’t yet experienced grief, it’s unfortunately likely to happen. The term ‘grief’ encompasses all of the emotions around a loss, and ‘mourning’ is defined as the external expression of the pain. ‘Bereavement’ is another commonly-used term for grief. Throughout human history, there have been many attempts to describe and heal grief, and they have changed significantly over the years.

Due in part to our vastly improved physical and mental healthcare, grief is understood far differently today than even as little as 100 years ago. While we often have the privilege (for some, even the expectation) of only losing our loved ones when they are at a ripe old age, comfortable, and with family nearby, this has rarely been the case throughout history. The lack of modern transportation often separated loved ones, wars ravaged populations, and poor medical and sanitation knowledge led to too many untimely deaths. Throughout history, the deaths of loved ones have been far more common, and grief was understood differently.

Melinda

References:

National Grief Awareness Day

Blogging · Celebrate Life · Communicating · Health and Wellbeing · Internet Good/Bad · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Bots Are Back! Today 756 Are From Facebook/Meta

I’ve had a total of 921 Bot hits on my archive but what’s worrying is that 756 came from Facebook, what is Meta doing? This has happened three days in a row and the numbers are going up. I’ve never had this happen before and I can’t help but be alarmed. Of course, I’ve heard nothing back from WordPress and don’t expect to. I have to believe the Bot is targeting WordPress versus my blog.

I don’t know if this is a security risk or just searching for content to use to answer questions asked by their system. I was stalked several years ago by a blogger I knew, they hacked my system, terrorized and made it look like it was two bloggers I trusted. They had a mental illness that consisted of several personalities of which I did not know the names. They sent me texted and sent messages while I was typing. I came to believe they didn’t plan to hurt me and one day she used her real name. Once I confronted her the stalking stopped. I was a long seven months and it affected me greatly. 

To say I’m concerned when these types of events happen is an understatement. I don’t know if this is the future of AI or something more sinister. 

Can anyone enlighten me on what is happening and if I need to be alarmed. I would truly appreciate your feedback. The number of countries that have seen an increase in the views of the archives have gone and it’s from countries that never read through my archives. Today it’s up to six countries.

Thank you.

Melinda

 

Celebrate Life · Communicating · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Mental Health

Friday Quote

Thank you for joining me for this week’s Friday Quote.

diagram, timeline

 

 

I’m not thrilled with the use of pink, that’s sexist to me.

 Melinda

Reference:

https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/g44287993/womens-equality-day-quotes/

Celebrate Life · Family · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Things I’ve Learned In 61 Years Part Four

If you think the weekend is the only two days you’re happy, you’re right. You will manifest the other days as bad ones.

If your parents accomplished something, it doesn’t mean you will.

If your parents didn’t accomplish something, it doesn’t mean you won’t.

If your parents are rich it doesn’t mean you will be rich.

Work for what you get, it makes you a better person. If not, you will live expecting things and life isn’t that way.

You must know the difference between needs and wants. Wants will lead to debt maybe poverty and if nothing else you’ll pay 20-30% interest each month on your credit card. Cash is king.

If you don’t know every ugly wart and behavior of your partner, you don’t know them and marriage is the last step to take.

If a person can not look you in the eyes, there’s a reason. Get under it or you will pay later.

A person who says their fine is rarely fine. Dig deeper.

If you are treated poorly where you shop, at the doctor’s office, or anywhere else, find another place to do business. Life is too short for bad behavior and getting mad and complaining will not solve the problem.

Just because your parents went to a certain college doesn’t mean you have to. Have a backbone.

Just because your parents or siblings are in a certain line of business doesn’t mean you have to. Have your own identity and do what you love.

Buying vintage or antique furniture that requires refurbishing or not will reward you for many years. If you find a piece that has great bones and is reasonably priced, it’s worth the restoration. Today furniture is not made with the same high-quality wood and you will have a hard time finding handmade furniture with hand-turned designs or inlays unless you go the top of the line or have a piece custom-made. The same is true for frames, the intricate designs that are hand-made will reward you for years.

Self-confidence does not come from others, only you.

It’s not someone else’s fault, it’s yours for accepting. People with bad behavior rarely change.

To learn in life you have to make mistakes and learn from them.

If you do not keep your skills current you fall by the wayside.

If you don’t know how to communicate with people and can’t make compromises you are in bad shape and won’t keep a job and possibly a relationship.

If you think everything is wrong and people are all being unfair to you, look in the mirror.

You manifest what you think about and are unhappy about life, change your thinking to change your life. 

If you judge others, you’ll find what you’re looking for.

The country that starts a war, provoked or not, it’s that country’s war, they own it, they set the strategy, and will end the war on their time, NO ONE else’s.

You can not negotiate with terrorists, and if they are holding prisoners don’t expect to see them come home. 

People who fled their country or the home of their ancestors are no longer citizens of the country for a reason.

The country you live in now will not stop the war back home, they will work to negotiate but your anger, and violence fall on deaf ears.

If you don’t protest peacefully then you’re violent and need to go to jail. There are more productive ways to send a message. 

Businesses look at their bottom line first and how they invest their money is of no concern to you. You’re foolish to think you can get them to divest.

Protesting just to protest and voice your anger is a waste of energy and nobody wants to hear it. Do something productive.

America is responsible for the American people, there are many failures in the systems but are superior to many countries. 

If you don’t like America, go somewhere else. We don’t need your negative energy. 

If you are living paycheck to paycheck you can’t afford eating out, expensive cars, cigarettes, booze, or partying. You’re responsible for the bed you make. Being poor sucks, change your situation.

If you are living on government subsidies, you can’t afford to smoke, drive a new car, drink, have multiple streaming services, go out to eat, party, and buy electronic play toys. Being poor sucks, but it can be temporary if you work hard to better your life. There are too many examples in every town that have improved their life by working hard. You won’t see them living on subsidies.

There are millions of people in many countries who live in poverty through no fault of their own and can not change their situation. I wish you all the best and pray for your health and happiness. 

Always invest in the future no matter how small the amount, it adds up.

Always invest in your children’s education no matter how small the amount, it adds up. 

Would you rather pay cash or pay 20-30% interest each month?

Always set realistic goals, work towards them every day, and keep them in the forefront of your mind and you will manifest it so. Then set new goals, that what is takes to succeed. 

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Communicating · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward · Survivor

Women’s Equality Day August 26

Women have made huge strides in leveling the playing field but it’s still very lopsided. Women have fought for their rights for over 100 years, and we’re not there yet. I’m so glad there are younger generations who have the skills and determination to keep pushing forward. Make 2024 the year you stop settling and stand your ground for equal rights!

Where it began

The Woman Suffrage Amendment was first introduced on January 10, 1878. It was resubmitted numerous times until it was finally approved by both the House and Senate in June 1919. The bill needed to be approved by two-thirds of the states, so suffragists spent the next year lobbying state legislatures to gain support for the bill. On August 24, 1920, Tennessee became 36th and final state to ratify the amendment, which passed by only one vote. That one vote belonged to Harry Burn, who heeded the words of his mother when she urged him to vote for suffrage. Secretary of State Bainbridge Colby signed the amendment into law on August 26, 1920.

Fifty years later on August 26, 1970, Betty Friedan and the National Organization for Women organized a nationwide Women’s Strike for Equality. Women across the political spectrum joined together to demand equal opportunities in employment and education, as well as 24-hour childcare centers. This was the largest protest for gender equality in United States history. There were demonstrations and rallies in more than 90 major cities and small towns across the country and over 100,000 women participated, including 50,000 who marched down Fifth Avenue in New York City.

In addition to the marches, groups of women participated in publicity stunts aimed at garnering more recognition of gender inequality. Women in New York City took over the Statue of Liberty, hanging two 40 foot banners from the crown reading “March on August 26 for Equality” and “Women of the World Unite.” An organized group stopped the ticker tape at the American Stock Exchange, and held signs such as, “We won’t bear any more bull.” Female teachers also filed a lawsuit against the New York City Board of Education in which they demanded gender equality in appointing educational administration positions. The case lasted about 10 years and finally resulted in an increase in female principals.

While the strike did not halt the activities of the nation, it drew national attention to the Women’s Movement. The New York Times, for example, published their first major article on the Feminist Movement by covering the events of the day. It even included a map of the route the marchers took through the city.

In 1971, Representative Bella Abzug (D-NY) introduced a successful bill designating August 26th of each year as Women’s Equality Day. Part of the bill reads that Women’s Equality Day is a symbol of women’s continued fight for equal rights and that the United States commends and supports them. It decreed that the President is authorized and requested to issue a proclamation annually in commemoration of woman suffrage and the 1970 Strike for Equality. Women today continue to draw on the history of these brave and determined women.

 

Women’s Equality Day is celebrated in the United States on August 26 to commemorate the 1920 adoption of the Nineteenth Amendment (Amendment XIX) to the United States Constitution, which prohibits the states and the federal government from denying the right to vote to citizens of the United States on the basis of sex. It was first celebrated in 1971, designated by Congress in 1973, and is proclaimed each year by the United States President.

he date was chosen to commemorate the day in 1920 when the Secretary of State Bainbridge Colby signed the proclamation granting American women the constitutional right to vote.[1] In 1971, following the 1970 nationwide Women’s Strike for Equality,[2] and again in 1973, as the battles over the Equal Rights Amendment continued, Congresswoman Bella Abzug of New York introduced a resolution to designate August 26 as Women’s Equality Day.[3]

In 1972, President Richard Nixon issued Proclamation 4147, which designated August 26, 1972, as “Women’s Rights Day” and was the first official proclamation of Women’s Equality Day.[4] On August 16, 1973, Congress approved H.J. Res. 52, which stated that August 26 would be designated as Women’s Equality Day and that “the President is authorized and requested to issue a proclamation in commemoration of that day in 1920 on which the women in America were first guaranteed the right to vote”.[5] The same day, President Nixon issued Proclamation 4236 for Women’s Equality Day, which began, in part: “The struggle for women’s suffrage, however, was only the first step toward full and equal participation of women in our Nation’s life. In recent years, we have made other giant strides by attacking sex discrimination through our laws and by paving new avenues to equal economic opportunity for women. Today, in virtually every sector of our society, women are making important contributions to the quality of American life. And yet, much still remains to be done”.[6]

As of 2023, every president since Richard Nixon has issued a proclamation each year designating August 26 as Women’s Equality Day.[7]

I’m proud there is a day on the calendar but that doesn’t satisfy me in the least. Equality is an everyday, day-after-day effort to level all playing fields. Women have fought hard for the progress we’ve made but there is so much more to go. Gone are the days of the good old boys at the workplace and sports is a dinosaur with its pay scale. Women don’t have the same size contracts with advertisers as men and I’m sure the list is longer than I have the wind to write.

Melinda

References:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women’s_Equality_Day

https://www.womenshistory.org/articles/womens-equality-day

 

Chronic Illness · Health and Wellbeing · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

What You Need to Know About Massage Therapy for Fibromyalgia

Medically reviewed by Gregory Minnis, DPT, Physical Therapy — Written by Traci Pedersen on May 26, 2023

Massage therapy can reduce pain and improve overall well-being in people with fibromyalgia.

Living with fibromyalgia can be challenging, as the condition is characterized by chronic pain, fatigue, and sleep disturbances. 

While medications can be helpful for managing some symptoms, they don’t work for everyone. Many individuals turn to complementary treatments, such as massage therapy, for relief. 

Massage therapy has been shown to manage pain, improve sleep, and reduce anxiety and depression.

What kind of massage is best for fibromyalgia?

Massage therapy involves the manipulation of soft tissues such as muscles, tendons, and ligaments to promote relaxation and relieve tension.

Here are some types of massage that may be beneficial for people with fibromyalgia:

  • Swedish massage: Swedish massage is a gentle form of massage that uses long strokes, kneading, and circular movements on the topmost layers of muscles. It’s effective for reducing muscle tension and promoting relaxation.
  • Myofascial release: Myofascial release targets the connective tissue (fascia) surrounding the muscles. A review of six studies found that myofascial release (both therapist- and self-administered) significantly improved pain, quality of sleep, and quality of life right after treatment. It also had a moderate effect 6 months post-treatment.
  • Trigger point therapy: This technique involves applying pressure to specific points on the body that are believed to be sources of pain. It uses various techniques such as compression, stretching, and massage to alleviate pain and discomfort. 
  • Shiatsu: Shiatsu is a form of Japanese massage that involves applying pressure to specific points on the body to relieve tension and promote relaxation. Shiatsu is believed to trigger the release of endorphins, which are the body’s natural pain relievers.
  • Thai massage: Thai massage combines acupressure, stretching, and compression techniques to promote relaxation, improve flexibility, and reduce anxiety. 
  • Connective tissue massage: This type of massage focuses on manipulating the fascia that surrounds muscles and bones. It’s often used as part of manual therapy (a variety of hands-on techniques) used by physical therapists, chiropractors, and massage therapists to help reduce pain and improve mobility.

Is massage therapy effective for fibromyalgia?

ResearchTrusted Source suggests that massage offers several positive effects on various aspects of fibromyalgia, including reducing pain, anxietydepression, and sleep disturbances. These benefits are likely due to a combination of physical and mental mechanisms. 

For instance, physical pressure and manipulation during massage may help reduce muscle tension and increase blood flow, which can help alleviate pain and improve physical function. 

At the same time, the relaxation and stress-reducing effects of massage can have positive effects on mental well-being, including reducing anxiety and depression and improving sleep quality. 

The overall result is a complex interaction between physical and mental factors that can improve overall health and well-being for individuals with fibromyalgia.

One 2020 studyTrusted Source found that manual therapy with moderate pressure on the posterior cervical muscles (a group of muscles located at the back of the neck) in people with fibromyalgia helped reduce pain, muscle fatigue, and anxiety. Further research is needed in a larger population.

What are the benefits of massage for fibromyalgia?

Massage therapy can provide several benefits for people with fibromyalgia, including:

  • pain relief
  • improved sleep
  • reduced stress and anxiety
  • increased range of motion
  • improved mood

How does massage therapy for fibromyalgia work?

Massage therapy for fibromyalgia is believed to work in several ways. First, it releases tension in muscles and trigger points, which can help reduce pain and stiffness.

Additionally, massage therapy may also release endorphins and increase levels of the neurotransmitters serotonin and dopamine in the body, which can help regulate mood and improve sleep.

Can massage make fibromyalgia worse?

In some cases, massage may temporarily worsen fibromyalgia symptoms. This can occur if your massage therapist applies too much pressure or uses techniques that are too aggressive for your condition. 

However, it’s important to note that 75%Trusted Source of people with fibromyalgia seek massage therapy, which suggests that it’s quite helpful. So, even though massage can be fairly painful at times, many people with fibromyalgia continue to use it for its long-term benefits.

Will insurance cover massage therapy for fibromyalgia?

Insurance coverage depends on your insurance policy and the specific treatment plan prescribed by a healthcare professional. Some insurance plans may cover a certain number of massage therapy sessions as part of a treatment plan, while others may not cover it at all. 

It’s best to check with your insurance provider or healthcare professional to determine coverage options. Additionally, some massage therapists may offer a sliding scale fee or accept insurance directly, so it’s worth exploring different options.

Bottom line

Massage therapy may be an effective option for reducing pain, stiffness, and fatigue for people with fibromyalgia. It may also improve mood, sleep, and overall quality of life. 

Several types of massage may help with fibromyalgia, including myofascial release, Swedish massage, and shiatsu.

If you’re interested in massage, it’s important to look for a licensed massage therapist in your area who’s trained and experienced in treating fibromyalgia. You can search online or ask for recommendations from a healthcare professional or friends.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Fun · Mental Health · Photography · Self-Care

Wordless Wednesday-Burst Of Color In White Vase

I’m glad you joined me on Wordless Wednesday and I hope to see you soon.

Melinda

 

Celebrate Life · Communicating · Family · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward

Update On Storytelling Series

Hello Advocates!  

NAMI Texas is continuing our efforts to elevate your stories and lived experience! As we prepare for the 89th Legislative Session starting January 2025, we are focusing on gathering specific stories. This is the third month in our Storytelling Series, for the month of August, we are featuring school-based mental health services. Your stories related to this issue are vital, and rest assured, confidentiality is imperative to us. With your permission, we may reach out for further insights. Additionally, if you are interested, you could participate as a storyteller at one of our events or at the Texas Capitol. Your story has the power to strengthen written and/or oral testimony, presentations, policy briefs, and media coverage.  

School-based mental health services are vital in promoting students’ well-being and academic success. These services may include counseling, psychological assessments, and the development of individualized education programs (IEPs) for students with mental health needs. For instance, a student struggling with anxiety might receive regular counseling sessions with a mental health provider such as a psychologist or social worker to develop coping strategies. Another student with ADHD might have an IEP that includes accommodations like extended test-taking time or a quiet space for exams. These comprehensive support systems not only address immediate mental health issues but also equip students with the tools they need for long-term success. We invite you to share your experiences with school-based mental health services. Your stories and insights can help us better understand the impact of these services and advocate for their continued support and improvement. 

Additionally, if your child or children are enrolled in Medicaid and are facing significant issues with hard limits on treatment services (whether in policy or practice), behavioral health services, or services for medically complex conditions, we would greatly appreciate it if you could share your story with us. 

Head over to our Advocacy Campaign  to share your lived experience! Your story can provide valuable insights into the landscape of school-based mental health services. By sharing your experiences, you can help us advocate for the strengthening of these services, ensuring they better meet the needs of all students. 

Please feel free to share with your networks! As always, feel free to reach out to our Public Policy Director, Lyssette Galvan, publicpolicy.director@namitexas.org, or Peer Policy Fellow, Christine Busse, peerpolicy.fellow@namitexas.org.     

With gratitude,  

The NAMI Texas Public Policy Team  

Melinda

 

Art · Celebrate Life · Fun · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Self-Care · Travel

The Treasures On My Bookcase

The bookcase in my office holds many treasures including travel finds, books, photos, candles, and an antique camera. The items bring me joy, and memories of travels and adventures. Here are a few photos. 

 

 

Celebrate Life · Communicating · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Survivor · Travel

“It Ends With Us” – NO MORE x Wayfarer Studios’ Tools & Resources to Spark Change

PUBLISHED

Aug 16, 2024

BY

NO MORE

This week, we have been proud to join Wayfarer Studios, the independent production company behind “It Ends With Us,” the film adaptation of Colleen Hoover’s best-selling novel of the same name, in spotlighting the extensive resources, information, and tools available to all theater-goers, fans of the book, and community organizations in the U.S. and around the world. 

You can check out a story in Variety here, and below is an overview with a few more details.

Through an end card running in the film’s credits, and a dedicated page on nomore.org, NO MORE is offering survivors/victims of domestic and sexual violence and their loved ones easy access to find help. Most notably, through the NO MORE Global Directory which seamlessly connects people to support services in the U.S. and 200 countries and territories around the world. 

Resources created for the film include:

  • The “It Ends With Us” Viewers’ Guide for audiences to learn to differentiate between healthy and unhealthy relationships and find out how to make a positive difference in their own communities. 
  • A specially-branded version of the NO MORE Silence: Speak Your Truth platform where people impacted by domestic and sexual violence can safely share their stories and find support.
  • A free Community Toolkit to provide sector and community organizations with ideas and tools to use the film to create special events, programming, educational materials and content to engage and activate local audiences.
  • We also included a link to “The Lighthouse,” a comprehensive guide providing information for survivors on recognizing abuse and getting help for themselves and their families. 

All of these elements can be found here. 

In addition, we have kicked off an ongoing social media campaign with Wayfarer Studios’ Man Enough platform to raise awareness of key topics raised in the film and encourage everyone to join in and become part of the solution. 

This effort builds on Wayfarer’s and NO MORE’s long-standing partnership, first announced in 2023, to use the power of art and entertainment to inform, support, and inspire greater progress in preventing gender-based violence and promoting healthy relationships.  As part of this partnership, NO MORE served as a content advisor on the film, both within the script and throughout pre- and post-production, to help ensure that domestic and sexual violence were portrayed as accurately and sensitively as possible. 

We know that the issues raised in the story of “It Ends With Us” are all too prevalent in our society. One in 4 women and 1 in 7 men in the US experience severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime, and more than 15 million American children live in homes in which domestic violence has happened at least once. That’s why we feel so strongly about using this cultural moment of the film’s release to spark dialogue, increase awareness, and inspire meaningful change. 

We hope you’ll join us! See the film, explore our resources, and help break the pattern of abuse. Together, we can end domestic and sexual violence! 

With gratitude,

The NO MORE Team

Be sure to tune in, it promises to be an informative event for women and men.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Mental Health · Music

#Weekend Music Share-Peter Gabriel In Your Eyes (Secret World Tour)

It’s the weekend!!!!!!

 I’m glad you joined me this week for another edition of Weekend Music Share.

Have a great weekend!

Melinda

Welcome back to Weekend Music Share, the place where everyone can share their favorite music.

Feel free to use the Weekend Music Share banner in your post, and use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.

Celebrate Life · Fun · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

What’s Your Mood Today?

I hope this post finds you healthy and happy. Today I’m feeling a mix of frustration, and fatigue, yet I’m happy. I’m feeling okay and the day looks promising.  

Take good care of yourself.

 Melinda

Celebrate Life · Chronic Illness · Family · Health and Wellbeing · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Blogger Highlight-Invisibly Me

Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their site with you. This week we highlight Invisibly Me. Caz and I have known each other for years and I’m honored to call her a friend. She is a warrior in every sense of the word, she works tirelessly to balance her chronic illness, help her elderly parents, advocate for better access to healthcare, and also encourage others to take better care of themselves. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention how much she loves cats. 

Invisibly Me

Live a Visible Life Whatever Your Health   

Caz is a 30-something chronically ill blogger from the UK with a penchant for American crime thriller books, Dr Martens, chocolate and Hello kitty. She writes about life with chronic illness and pain, product reviews, tips, and general health information to raise awareness.

She writes on many topics but stays true to health, writing reviews about health products and other items that simplify life. Simple is far from the life that Caz leads, she’s a superwoman with what she accomplishes and you would be surprised by the number of disabling health issues she deals with each day. She’s snarky, has the greatest attitude, and has limits with the NHS healthcare system in England. But who doesn’t? 

She’s a proud member of the following organizations:

A photo of me standing up with hands on hips with a black top, jeans and long red hair. The top is pulled up slightly to show a red and white Hello Kitty themed stoma bag cover. Below is the blog post title: 14 ways having a stoma bag has changed my life.

You must stop by her blog to say hello, read through her archives, and get to know a remarkable woman. Caz is encouraging, raw, funny and always leaves me feeling better and loved. 

Melinda

Looking for the Light

 

Celebrate Life · Chronic Illness · Health and Wellbeing · Infectious Diease · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Tick Borne Illnesses

What do “Real Housewives of Invisible Illness” do all day, anyway?

By Christina Campbell

“I wish I could just stay home and rest.”

“But what do you do all day?”

“I wish I had all that free time.”

The Normals regularly say these things to me, whenever I take disability leave to recover (kinda) from tick-borne disease.

Bless their little Normal hearts. They’re not trying to be hurtful. They’re trying to relate to something they can’t understand: invisible chronic illness, with its unpredictable flares and unquantifiable symptoms of pain, fatigue, and “Help, doctor, my cells are all pulling on each other like magnets.”

My favorite Normal faux-pax happened when I returned to work after two years of disability leave (and one additional year of a lawsuit against my insurer). Many coworkers knew I’d been sick. Some knew I’d had tick-borne disease. One of them welcomed me back and asked, “Did you enjoy your time off?” He meant well, but here’s what I heard him saying: Did you enjoy living it up with your free paychecks?

I feared my colleagues thought I’d spent those three years lounging on a chaise in a silken robe and full makeup, listening to celebrity gossip podcasts, sipping wine, and dropping bon-bons between my freshly-glossed lips, while stroking my sleek purebred cat like a Real Housewife of Northern Virginia.

Sure, I “enjoyed my time off.” I enjoyed the handful of semi-functional hours I had each day. I enjoyed squinting, while sweating and shivering, at incorrect health insurance EOBs and shady reports from insurance physician reviewers. Because of the broken U.S. health system, when I’m on disability leave I use almost more cognitive energy than when I’m at work.

The feared “activity tax”

Here’s what I’d like to tell people about what I “do all day:” I calculate my energy expenditures, then wait with bated breath to see if my calculations are correct. Will I be fine? Or will I pay the much-feared Activity Tax? If the latter, in what currency will the Tax be? Headache? Stiff joints? Motion sickness? Vibrating feet?

Because the stakes are so high, people with chronic illness become supercomputers: Estimated useable body-hours divided by approximate time to complete chores, plus parenthetical sub-formula ranking chores by importance, times the bounded function of activity tax per X number of stairs between the hamper and washer.  

The poor Normals want to “just stay at home and rest.” Well, so do I. Instead, I’m racing my body against my bank account. I’m wrangling physical therapy and fistfuls of pharmaceuticals. The goal: Get my health to kick in, before my disability is randomly taken away because some doctor paid by an insurance company lies on my case report (I wish this were a hypothetical). Disability leave is so exhausting, I pine for the workaday drudgery of the office.

My best impression

In the meantime, though, I’m doing my best Real Housewife impression, lounging on that chaise. Except it’s not a chaise, it’s a cat-hair-covered futon, and I’m not lounging, I’m curled up in ache, and it’s not wine but electrolyte water, and it’s not a silken robe but pilly yoga pants, and it’s not bon-bons but fish oil capsules almost as big as bon-bons.

Per my calculations, the fish oil capsules are better than the liquid alternative. The splotch of spilled fish oil on my pants crotch cost about $35 dollars. (This does not include the Activity Tax I paid from walking up and down stairs, trying to figure out where the rotting mackerel smell was coming from.)

Back on the chaise-futon, in true frustrated-Housewife style, I hurl my wine glass. But it’s not a wine glass, it’s a thermometer. As is common in tick-borne disease, I feel flu-ish almost all the time, but there’s little to no corresponding fever. The cruel digital displays never validate my aches and burning face. To resolve this dissonance, I smash the devices. Still, my cool cheeks stay scorching. You’d think they’d at least give me a luminous glow, but no.

Beauty tips

Which brings us to beauty tips, as recommended by our Real Housewife on the cat-hair-strewn cushions. It’s not makeup, it’s purple under-eye moons. It’s not plastic surgery, it’s skin stretched smooth by inflammatory water-fat. It’s not lip gloss, it’s snot. Too tired to get a tissue? Just blow your nose on your cardigan sleeve!

Also clinging to the crusty cardigan: my cat. He’s not a sleek purebred, but an old, thin street rescue with allergies and a seizure disorder. He’s also a poor conversationalist, but that’s ok, because I have the celebrity gossip podcasts—except they aren’t celebrity gossip podcasts, they’re Zoom coffee klatsches with my fellow sickies. And we don’t gossip, we rage.

We rage about the doctor who was late calling in a pain meds script. We rage about the insurance company who denied someone disability, because the company’s spies caught the patient sweeping her porch (gasp!). We rage about the sick young woman erroneously diagnosed with Munchausen’s Syndrome by old male doctors at a northeast emergency room. In comparison, my coworkers’ thoughtless comments are small potatoes.

They still hurt, though. I should see my psychologist. Mental health care is an important reason to dig into my skimpy disability paychecks. And yet. . .  it’s easier to pivot to add-to-cart therapy: a silken robe, lip gloss, and some bon-bons.

Christina D. Campbell is an award-winning author who writes about health, marital status discrimination, and special needs cats. She is currently seeking representation for her memoir about invisible illness. She can be reached at ChristinaDC.com.

Her words resonate with me and she’s right, it’s impossible to relate to an invisible disease unless you’ve been down that road.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Communicating · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward

Things I’ve Learned In 61 Years Part Two

Life is a roller coaster, the higher you go the further you fall

Life is not greener on the other side, get real

Life is what we’re given and what we make of it, don’t wallow in self-pity

No one has a perfect life, get over that fantasy

No one said life was going to be easy, work for what you get

No one is owed anything and you have to pay for everything you get

Don’t expect the government to pay your school loan or anything you have made the decision to purchase, be accountable

If you don’t like the situation you’re in, change it. You’re the only one that can

Journalism with integrity doesn’t exist, it’s influenced by the political slant of the broadcaster and full of personal opinions and biases. The foundation of Journalism is to deliver the who, what, when, and where

There is so much news nationally and locally every day that I don’t understand why we get the same story repeated 4 to 5 days in a row. It’s like they want to add drama or are lazy

Covid is on the rise but I haven’t heard one story about it from the media, only from media overseas

People who feel sorry for themselves and wallow in it want to stay victims, I have no room for that in my life

Everyone can take steps to improve their lives, it will take time but you have to be committed to improvement

You will not find real news on Social Media, it’s coming from unreliable sources who are sharing their opinion or conspiracy theories, if you listen you get what you get and can be very uninformed

Social Media Influencers are fake, they are being paid to sell products and you are only lining their pockets

Magazines have gotten into the money-making game by talking about clothes and products that celebrities use, they make money every time you click a link. If you are interested in a product go to the website directly, their reviews are often based on making money

Never click on a link in an email, go to the site directly. Hackers are getting much better at making emails look like they come from the company

If you receive emails for products you didn’t ask to sign up for, don’t click on a link to unsubscribe, you never know if it’s a virus

The President of the United States does not set gas prices, OPEC does. Educate yourself

The President of the United States does not set interest rates the Federal Reserve does. Educate yourself

During any political campaign listen to what the person is saying, research what they’ve done and if all they do is bad mouth the opponent, there’s your sign

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Mental Health · Photography

Wordless Wednesday-Philadendrons

I’m glad you joined me on Wordless Wednesday and I hope to see you soon.

This one is called Philodredon Brasil, I love the two-tone leaves and the dash of yellow. It will eventually spread out with trails.

This one is called Philodendron Micans and is already spreading its limbs. It has lightly reddish, green, and line-green leaves. It looks perfect in the bunny planter.

Have a great day.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Chronic Illness · Health and Wellbeing · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Mental Illness · Moving Forward

Do You Know What A Vagus Nerve Stimulator Is?

My Bipolar Disorder was difficult to manage with medication alone. My Psychiatrist told me about a device that was waiting for FDA approval.

In 2005 the Vagus Nerve Stimulator was approved by the FDA and my doctor had all the information ready to send to my insurance company.

The first time insurance denied the device. Here’s how I got insurance to approve. I wrote a letter explaining what my life was like and how it controls my life and in time the possibility of suicide.

A VNS device looks much like a pacemaker with two leads that attach to your vagus nerves, sending signals to the brain to relieve your depression.

The surgery doesn’t take long, but getting used to the device turned on takes a while.

When you are talking the device makes your voice sound weird but only when the device is sending signals to the brain.

When I had my surgery, no one had seen one implanted which meant the Gallery was full of other doctors. My doctor got to see my boobs, that had to settle in.

After you have healed the device is turned on at a low level so you get used to the feeling of the device working. Then we turned up the level until we found what we thought was the right setting.

I kept it on for years but finally admitted it wasn’t working and had it turned off.

The only pain involved is initial surgery.

I thought this device would change my life but it didn’t work out that way.

These are the notes I made on 12/30/05

Received a letter today from the insurance company, they approved.

I can’t wait to call my Psychiatrist to tell him the news and to get my surgery date rolling.

2005 has been a rough year but this news is my beacon of hope.

The greatest news all year.

Unfortunately, I was in the percentage of people that the device didn’t work.

I am waiting to hear about new treatments but nothing new for my mental illness.

Melinda

This is a repost from 2023.