How to Tell Others About Your Bipolar Disorder

September 8, 2024 Looking for the Light8 Comments

Julia Métraux

Medically Reviewed

Allison Young, MD

Published on September 26, 2023

While some people may not struggle to tell friends, family members, or an employer about their bipolar disorder, for others it can feel very nerve-racking. These 7 tips can help.

At age 31, Julie A. Fast — now a bipolar disorder expert and researcher — was diagnosed with the condition. Later on, she was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type (a psychotic disorder involving symptoms of both schizophrenia and bipolar disorder).

Bipolar disorder wasn’t entirely new to Fast, now 59, when she was diagnosed. Her partner at the time was diagnosed with the condition in 1994, just one year before.

Still, in her social circles, she found that most people did not know or understand her condition. “I’d go to a party, and maybe two or three people would say, ‘I know of bipolar disorder,’” says Fast, who coauthored the book Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder with John Preston, PsyD.

Because awareness of bipolar disorder and its symptoms is increasing, many people with the condition, like Fast, feel more comfortable sharing their diagnosis with others. “I can deal with whatever happens when I disclose my illness to others,” Fast says. “It will show who can help me and who can’t.”

But some people with bipolar disorder may still feel hesitant to share their diagnosis, in part because of stigma and fear about how others will respond, experts say.

Why Sharing a Bipolar Disorder Diagnosis Can Feel Challenging

Factors like shame, embarrassment, or stigma — negative and often untrue beliefs society holds about someone or something — make some people with bipolar disorder feel hesitant to talk about their condition, research shows.

Many people with bipolar disorder experience a form of stigma called “public stigma,” which is related to how other people view and act toward people with bipolar disorder, according to research published in February 2022 in the Australian & New Zealand Journal of Psychiatry. Public stigma is linked to more anxiety symptoms, worsened ability to function, and problems at work, per the same research.

Although public stigma can come from anyone around them, many people with bipolar disorder experience it from people close to them — family, friends, or even their healthcare providers, per the same report.

Fear of how others may respond as a result of stigma is another potential barrier. “They may worry that disclosure could negatively affect their relationships with friends, family, or romantic partners,” says Leanne Quigley, PhD, an assistant professor in clinical psychology at Yeshiva University in New York City.

Public stigma and how others view bipolar disorder can lead many people with the condition to feel negatively about themselves, according to the aforementioned report.

“[They] may also experience internalized stigmas where they report low self-esteem, low quality of life, and limited engagement in their communities,” says Adrian Jacques H. Ambrose, MD, MPH, the medical director of the psychiatry faculty practice organization at Columbia University in New York City, who treats people with bipolar disorder. This is what’s known as “self-stigma,” per the aforementioned report.

When to Tell Someone About Your Bipolar Disorder Diagnosis

The decision about when to share your diagnosis with someone else is very personal. It can depend on the type of relationship you have with the other person and whether they seem to have some sort of understanding of conditions like bipolar disorder.

When It Comes to Your Significant Other or Someone You’re Dating …

For romantic relationships, Fast recommends sharing a bipolar diagnosis as soon as possible. “I don’t really support the idea of getting in a relationship with somebody unless you have fully discussed the impact of bipolar on the relationship,” Fast says.

That’s important because the symptoms can affect the way someone with bipolar disorder thinks, feels, acts, and communicates with their partner, according to the United Brain Association. For instance, during a manic episode, someone with bipolar disorder may experience intense irritability toward their partner or may have a higher chance of engaging in risky behaviors like unprotected sex or heavy spending, which could lead to tension or mistrust in a relationship, per the United Brain Association.

If you haven’t talked about your condition with your partner, it can be difficult for them to know what to say or do to help.

When It Comes to New Healthcare Providers …

It’s also crucial to be up-front about your diagnosis with any new healthcare providers you see, Fast Adds. They need to know about your health history and any medications you take. Research shows that certain medications, such as corticosteroids like prednisone, can trigger mania and psychosis in people with bipolar disorder.

That’s why Fast told her doctors before a recent minor surgery that she was not comfortable being prescribed steroids, which are sometimes used to help reduce inflammation. “When they suggest steroids, and so many doctors use steroids, I explain why I can’t use them,” she says, adding that her doctors were receptive to her needs.

Some antidepressants, such as fluoxetine (Prozac), also trigger mania in people with bipolar disorder.

When It Comes to Your Friends and Family …

When it comes to telling friends and family, it might take you some time to feel comfortable doing so — and that’s okay. Prioritize telling close friends and family members that you interact with frequently and who you feel understand you well — rather than people you rarely interact with, Fast advises.

Before sharing your diagnosis with friends or family, Dr. Ambrose recommends asking yourself the following questions:

Do you feel ready to share?
Is there anything pressing or urgent happening that makes it important to tell them sooner rather than later, such as the onset of a mood episode?

When It Comes to Your Employer …

When it comes to your work environment, it’s important to weigh the possibility of discrimination, says Ambrose. You could look to see if the company has in recent years tried to reduce mental health stigma, which research suggests could make the workplacemore welcoming for workers with mental health conditions.

And if you don’t feel comfortable revealing your specific diagnosis, that’s okay. You can still bring a note from your healthcare provider asking for accommodations based on how your mental health condition impacts your functioning, according to the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission.

7 Tips for Talking About a Bipolar Disorder Diagnosis

If you feel ready to share your diagnosis with someone else, here are seven expert tips to get the conversation started.

1. Prepare Yourself for All Sorts of Reactions

Just as people diagnosed with bipolar disorder may have a range of reactions to their diagnosis, reactions from others can vary, too. “We can allow the other person to ask whatever questions they want, have any type of response that they want,” says Fast.

Although some people may react positively to hearing about your diagnosis, others may react in a negative way. “Remember that your self-worth is not determined by a diagnosis of bipolar disorder or others’ reactions to your disclosure of a diagnosis,” Dr. Quigley says.

2. Talk About How Your Bipolar Symptoms May Affect Others

During a manic episode, some people with bipolar disorder may be more prone to engaging in risky or hurtful behaviors, such as cheating or lying. This can be common for people who are undiagnosed, Fast adds.

Whether you’ve just gotten your bipolar disorder diagnosis or you’ve received treatment for a new mood episode, it could help to reach out to people who may have been harmed by your words and actions during the episode. It could be a message like, “I’d love to talk to you about my diagnosis because I know my behavior impacted you,” says Fast.

But it’s important to recognize that not everyone will want to engage in this conversation, especially if they feel really hurt by actions like cheating or stealing, for instance, Fast adds.

If behavior related to a bipolar diagnosis hasn’t yet come up in your relationship with someone else, the person you’re telling may have questions about how it could affect the relationship in the future. Be prepared to discuss how any episodes could manifest.

3. Have a Summary on Hand

After sharing a bipolar disorder diagnosis, some people may have follow-up questions about your symptoms or, in the case of work, any accommodations you might need. “In certain situations, your loved ones [or employer] may know very little about mental health conditions, so it may be helpful to prepare a short summary about the condition,” Ambrose says.

The summary could be either written or verbal (or both), depending on what you’re most comfortable with.

4. Work With Your Therapist on a Plan to Tell Others

If you feel nervous or worried about sharing your diagnosis with others, your doctor or therapist could help you come up with the best strategy for you for sharing your diagnosis, says Fast. “Share most of your concern and your worries with your healthcare professionals because they’re trained to handle it,” Fast says.

5. Understand Your ADA Rights (and Note That They Vary by State)

While the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), which prohibits discrimination against people with disabilities at work and all other areas of life, is a federal law in the United States, some states offer more protections than others when it comes to employment laws related to disability discrimination, says Ambrose.

“Given the complexity of work-related rights, you should learn more about your specific state’s legal statutes,” Ambrose says.

If you’re in an area with less protection, it might be worth talking to a third party, for example your state labor office, about the best approaches for disclosing a bipolar diagnosis at work. State government offices belonging to the U.S. Department of Labor can help you better understand your rights as a worker in the state you live in. The Department of Labor has a directory of state labor offices.

6. Offer Different Information in Different Situations

If you’re only comfortable disclosing the entirety of your diagnosis to some people and not others, that is perfectly fine. “You may choose to discuss certain parts of your experience with bipolar disorder and not others,” Quigley says. “It is okay to maintain boundaries and not share everything.”

7. Give Yourself Grace

It can be difficult to figure out how to tell others about your diagnosis. It’s important to take care of yourself during this time. “It’s even more important to cultivate a sense of empathy and grace for yourself during the process,” Ambrose says.

Julia Métraux

Author

Julia Métraux is a journalist whose work touches on disability, mental health, and chronic illness. She went to the University of California in Berkeley Graduate School of Journalism. Métraux lives with vasculitis, a traumatic brain injury, and hearing loss.

See full bio

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I know how hard telling others about your mental illness can be, especially family members. Many family members looked at me differently because they were from a different generation that did not believe in mental illnesses. I did not tell friends or my employers because it wasn’t their business. One of my employers fired me from a high-level job because they found out I had a mental illness, yes I could have sued the billion-dollar company but why go down that multi-year road through the rabbit hole. I caution everyone to think hard before telling your employer, it can be held against you and they can find a way to fire you.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Communicating · Family · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Nourish Your Mind and Heart: A Guide to Mental and Emotional Well-being by Guest Blogger My Mind Strength

September 7, 2024 Looking for the Light6 Comments

Mukta has been a regular Guest Blogger on Looking for the Light because she writes about complex topics in a style all can understand and her writing is smooth. I have followed her for a long time and always find her posts enlightening. Be sure to stop by and say hello, pull up a chair, and read through her archives, no doubt there are many posts you will relate to.

Learn how mindful inputs can transform your mental and emotional health. “When you are mentally and emotionally strong, you are able to handle your thoughts skillfully and regulate your emotions in healthy and helpful ways.” This seemingly simple sentence holds a profound truth about the essence of our mental and emotional well-being. Our thoughts, which … Continue reading

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward

The Paralypmics Is Coming To An End On the 8th

September 7, 2024 Looking for the Light3 Comments

The Paralympics is a great joy for me to watch, it’s a world stage showcasing people who are disabled performing a sport they have achieved great talent in. The athletes don’t get special treatment, what you see is the pure grit of each athlete competing with another disabled athlete for the top honors. Each of the athletes has endured setbacks in life and on the field. I admire the commitment they have made to the sport and then go on to push themselves to make the Paralympic team. This in itself tells you so much about the people competing in the Paralympics. They are all winners in my book, everyone who participates is a winner and needs to take tremendous pride in returning to their home country.

If you would like to participate in the closing ceremony it is happening on Sept. 8, 2024, at 13:30. The opening and closing ceremonies are thrilling to watch.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Communicating · Health and Wellbeing · Mental Health · Moving Forward

Friday Quote

September 6, 2024 Looking for the Light12 Comments

Thank you for joining me for this week’s Friday Quote.

Winston Churchill was a great leader and his quotes are so on point. I read them and do not question what he is saying. Must be a respect thing.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Medical · Mental Health · Self-Care

What’s Your Mood Today?

September 5, 2024 Looking for the Light22 Comments

I’m feeling a bit down today, fighting my health issues makes me tired. I want someone to comfort me and tell me it will get better.

I hope this post finds you happy and healthy.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Just Pondering

September 5, 2024 Looking for the Light12 Comments

Hi, I’m glad you stopped by my blog and I look forward to seeing you again soon.

Imagine you stumble upon a door that leads to whatever time or place you want to experience.

What would the door open up to?

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Chronic Illness · Communicating · Health and Wellbeing · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Mental Illness

12 Celebrity Quotes That Perfectly Describe Life With Bipolar Disorder

September 4, 2024 Looking for the Light6 Comments

By Tanya Hvilivitzky

When famous people share their personal battles with bipolar disorder, it serves as a reminder that no one is isolated in this struggle. After all, bipolar disorder is indifferent to wealth, fame, or success.

It’s easy to believe that celebrities — actors, musicians, or comedians — enjoy lives of perfection. However, what is publicly seen represents just a fraction of their actual lives. The truth is, bipolar disorder doesn’t discriminate. It makes no distinction between a person’s age, gender, race, or bank account size.

So, when stars living with bipolar disorder share their own struggles, it signals to others that they are not navigating the complexities of this brain-based disorder alone, reinforcing the message that, together, managing it is within reach.

Here are personal and powerful quotes from 12 such celebrities:

1. Taylor Tomlinson

It took a little while for comedian Taylor Tomlinson to accept her bipolar diagnosis. She explains to E! News her reaction upon learning about her mood disorder. “I was surprised that I felt embarrassed when I first found out. Because I think I’m very open-minded. I have friends who have bipolar. And you never judge your friends. You never felt like that was a big deal. But then when it’s you, you somehow realize you have all this deeper stuff from when you were a kid.”

2. Cameron Esposito

After telling her fans earlier this year of her bipolar diagnosis, Cameron Esposito, standup comic, actor, and writer, took to her Instagram channel on her birthday in October 2023 to reflect on the year: “… you know what? I’m lucky. I’m lucky that I figured it out. I’m lucky that I had a place to go. I’m lucky that I was enough in my faculties that I was extremely persistent with following up after that experience, and getting my meds and finding a psychiatrist. All that s&*t is impossible and so expensive. I have healthcare coverage; I have insurance. I just want to say to anybody who’s had to navigate this [mental health care] system … you are a hero! Look at you! Look at what you’ve been able to do!“

3. Alan Ritchson

Actor Alan Ritchson, star of Prime Video’s Reacher, was diagnosed with bipolar at age 36. In a February 2024 interview with CBC Radio’s “Q” program, Ritchson explains why he’s been sharing his story to help others: “As much as I would like to ignore that I’m a suicide survivor, if I didn’t share what I’ve learned I feel like my life would be meaningless,” he says. “I’ve always been a happy-go-lucky guy, but once you experience the grip [of depression] — the talons it can sink into you — you realize how sinister this thing is and how out of control the biology can really be for somebody in the midst of it.”

4. Carrie Fisher

“In my opinion, living with manic depression takes a tremendous amount of balls. Not unlike a tour of Afghanistan (though the bombs and bullets, in this case, come from the inside). At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of. They should issue medals along with the steady stream of medication.” — Carrie Fisher, Wishful Drinking, 2008

5. Ye (Kanye West)

As a guest in 2019 on David Letterman’s Netflix series, My Next Guest Needs No Introduction, Ye (Kanye West) uses the term “ramping up” to convey the process of entering a hypomanic or manic bipolar mood episode: “When you ramp up, it expresses your personality more. You can become almost adolescent in your expression. … When you don’t take medication every day to keep you at a certain state, you have the potential to ramp up … and even end up in the hospital.”

6. A.J. Mendez

In an interview with bp Magazine, former pro wrestler A.J. Mendez (AJ Lee) says, “I see bipolar disorder as the gift of extraordinary emotions. It makes me bold, brave, loud, and capable of withstanding whatever obstacles the world throws at me. It has made me empathetic. It has given me a lofty imagination, a belief in the impossible, and has made me confident beyond reason. I was 90 pounds and five feet tall and believed I could succeed in the world of giants … because I didn’t have that voice of doubt holding me back.”

7. Richard Dreyfuss

Richard Dreyfuss has starred in blockbusters like Jaws, American Graffiti, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, and The Goodbye Girl (which earned him an Academy Award for Best Actor). Of his bipolar diagnosis, he says, “No matter what you call it, this is an illness no different from, say, diabetes or asthma — and like those conditions, [it] should be neither ignored nor stigmatized. Feeling ashamed would mean surrendering to someone else’s judgment — an ignorant judgment at that.”

8. Linda Hamilton

The Terminator actress Linda Hamilton uses a holistic health plan to help her stability, with a structured and balanced lifestyle, exercise, and medication. “Exercise is an incredible key to feeling well. But for people with mental illness, taking care of the body is not an automatic thing. The mind is in such chaos, it’s hard to come up with a plan. So, to people like us, it’s more important than ever to follow a regimen.”

9. Maurice Benard

Daytime actor Maurice Benard — who plays Michael “Sonny” Corinthos Jr. on General Hospital — talked with bp Magazine on life with bipolar: “I’ve lived a productive life having bipolar. I’ve talked to people who don’t want to talk about [having bipolar] because it’s embarrassing. I’m proud of it because I know it’s made me the actor I am and the person I am. It’s given me strength. If I can go through being in a mental hospital, and that kind of pain, and that kind of fear, I can do anything.”

10. Maria Bamford

In an interview with bp Magazine’s Melody Moezzi, the comedian Maria Bamford talked about being diagnosed: “I was surprised how prejudiced I was against myself. They tell you it’s the brain chemistry also working its magic, but I was really surprised at how resistant I was to going on a mood stabilizer, taking any time off of work, acknowledging that I needed to be hospitalized. I was just so angry. I didn’t want to go on the meds. It wasn’t until it got bad enough to where I was starting to feel unsafe by myself that I reconsidered.”

11. Stephen Fry

In an interview with bp Magazine, Stephen Fry said of creativity, “It is not a coincidence, it can’t be, that so many comedians suffer from depression. As for whether the hypomanic side of bp can be said to help creativity, I hesitate to say yes because of all those out there living with the disorder who are not in creative industries. … But certainly, the energy, self-belief, exuberance, tirelessness, optimism, and, yes, grandiosity that mark out hypomania can really help one achieve much in terms of writing and creation.”

12. Mariah Carey

In 2018, during an interview with People magazine, Maria Carey spoke about the confusing ups and downs of bipolar disorder: “For a long time I thought I had a severe sleep disorder, but it wasn’t normal insomnia. … I was working and working and working. … I was irritable and in constant fear of letting people down. It turns out that I was experiencing a form of mania. Eventually, I would just hit a wall. I guess my depressive episodes were characterized by having very low energy. I would feel so lonely and sad, even guilt that I wasn’t doing what I needed to be doing for my career.”

UPDATED: Originally posted June 19, 2020

Tanya Hvilivitzky

Tanya Hvilivitzky has spent more than 30 years in the communications field — a career that has included stints as an investigative journalist, managing editor for a lifestyle and wellness magazine, corporate communications director, and researcher/writer. She has been with bpHope (and bp Magazine) since 2016, serving in roles such as features editor, interim editor, and, currently, senior editor. She has been devoted to mental health awareness since she was the editor of Schizophrenia Digest in her early days, and now with a particular focus on highlighting the complexities of bipolar disorder through compassionate, service-based journalism. As an award-winning writer/editor, Tanya received the Beyond Borders Media Award for her 2012 investigative exposé about human trafficking for Niagara Magazine. Her work on this critical topic also earned the Media Freedom Award “Honouring Canada’s Heroes” from the Joy Smith Foundation to Stop Human Trafficking.

I dislike what Carrie Fisher had to say. It’s not appropriate to compare an illness to those who fought in Afghanistan and I do not think people with Bipolar Disorder deserve a medal and more medication. My thoughts about her have remained the same, she used her Bipolar Disorder as an excuse for her bad behavior and to make money. My opinion.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Communicating · Family · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward

What Is Your Family’s Experience With School-Based Mental Health Services?

September 3, 2024 Looking for the Light3 Comments

Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Holiday · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Let’s Celebrate Labor Day

September 1, 2024 Looking for the Light12 Comments

It’s great to have a paid day off of work but do you know why and when the Labor Holiday began?

Labor Day is a federal holiday in the United States, celebrated on the first Monday of September. It honors the contributions and achievements of American workers and the labor movement that fought for their rights and dignity.

Labor Day became a federal holiday in the United States in 1894 when Congress passed a bill designating the first Monday in September as Labor Day. The holiday was created by the labor movement in the late 19th century to pay tribute to the contributions and achievements of American workers. President Grover Cleveland signed the legislation into law on June 28, 1894.

Having the first Monday in September off from work was remarkable for American workers in 1894 when Labor Day was declared a national holiday. Working conditions in the country’s factories, railroads, mills, and mines were grim. Employees, including children, were often required to work 12 or more hours a day, six days a week, in crowded, poorly ventilated spaces.1

Calls for shorter workdays and better conditions came from worker strikes and rallies in the decades after the Civil War. Union leaders in New York City organized what’s thought to be the first Labor Day parade on Sept. 5, 1882.2

Tens of thousands of labor union members including bricklayers, jewelers, typographers, dress and cloak makers, and many other tradespeople took unpaid leave and marched with their locals. The day culminated in picnics, speeches, fireworks, and dancing.

Melinda

References:

msn.com

https://www.history.com/topics/holidays/labor-day-1

https://www.investopedia.com/news/history-labor-day/

Communicating · Health and Wellbeing · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Trauma

89% Of Blind Riders Are Being Denied A Ride By Lyft And Uber

August 31, 2024September 3, 2024 Looking for the Light21 Comments

I could not believe it when I heard on the national news that 89% of blind riders were being denied a ride by Lift and Uber. This looks like a driver issue with the service dogs and not wanting them in the vehicle. This behavior is against the law not to mention the company’s policies. The riders have a way to report a driver but those interviewed said nothing happened. One woman even recorded a driver refusing her a ride after she had already reported this behavior to Lyft. Rideshare companies are condoning this behavior and are accountable for the driver’s decisions. I’m sure there is a loophole in there that needs closing.

This type of behavior and failure to accommodate the blind is a Class Action lawsuit that is way overdue. I’m shocked no one has sued the companies for breaking the law and doing nothing when its customers report a driver. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one to say jump on a lawsuit, quite the opposite but this is not a frivolous issue. If the ride-share companies refuse blind riders they need to lose any government contracts they may have and if cities have a choice to allow the rideshare company to do business in the city, they need to reverse the approval.

I know a few people who are blind and life is challenging enough and for their transportation to refuse them a ride is shameful. Apparently, it’s been happening for years but it’s not been in the media which is typical for the media, just feed us the same day after day instead of pressing the important issues.

I feel so strongly about the issue that I created a Change.org petition that I hope you will support by going to https://www.change.org/p/require-rideshare-services-to-accept-blind-riders-with-guide-dogs/share_for_starters?just_created=true and signing.

Copy of Petition

This petition is deeply personal because it strikes at the heart of disability discrimination, a struggle that blind individuals face daily. It’s both shocking and disheartening when a company that provides a critical service like transportation discriminates against individuals with disabilities, specifically those who rely on guide dogs. According to the American Foundation for the Blind, millions of people in the US are experiencing vision loss. And many of them, depend on guide dogs to navigate and live independently.

However, troubling instances have surfaced where these individuals are refused service by rideshare companies simply because of their guide dogs. This is not only inconvenient but also unlawful – the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) prohibits discrimination against individuals with disabilities in all areas of public life, and that includes transportation.

Apart from being illegal, such practices are inhumane and show a complete disregard for the rights and dignity of people living with disabilities. Furthermore, it contradicts the spirit of rideshare services which aim to provide convenient and accessible transportation for everyone. All this considered, it’s high time for all rideshare companies to commit to full accommodation for blind riders with guide dogs.

We cannot allow this blatant discrimination to continue. Together, we can change this. Please sign this petition to send a strong message across: Require Rideshare Services to Accept Blind Riders with Guide Dogs.

Share this petition

Require Rideshare Services to Accept Blind Riders with Guide Dogs

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Share this petition in person or use the QR code for your own material.

My husband told me that once he signed the petition Change.org asked for a donation, a donation is not required. Change.org is a global organization that is free and as such they solicit donations. This is common but you are never required to donate or I would not work with them.

Melinda

Communicating · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward

Things I’ve Learned In 61 Years Part Five

August 30, 2024 Looking for the Light8 Comments

If your boss beats you down in front of others in a meeting, makes you the scapegoat, and never stands up for you, look for another job immediately. If you have the cash to float, give them the finger, you’re getting fired anyway.

If your department has been cut to the quick and you are forced over and over to cut, run like hell. You’re next.

If the President of your company beats you down in a meeting with your peers and gives a directive to your boss regarding your department, give them the finger and run like hell.

Even if you are on a salary that doesn’t mean you’re available 24/7 to take calls. If they are a top-level executive, they made the decision to marry their job, other employees are not paid the same, and should not be expected to be available you your beck and call.

If you schedule time off work and are expected to work, cancel the PTO day. Why lose pay when you’re working.

When you actually get to take a day off, don’t answer your phone, period. Nothing is so important that your boss can’t take care of, if so then let them fall on their face.

If you walk and push your baby stroller in my grass instead of the sidewalk, you might find a few big surprises next time.

If you let your shrubs grow in my yard, I will trim them myself. Tall trees are different, I will let you know when it’s time to call the tree company for a trim. I have one clueless neighbor. One year the city wrote them fines for their trees growing too far into the street. He had let them grow for years and when the tree guy came out, they cut a ton off and butchered the trees. That’s what you get when you use the lawn guy to cut trees.

The way to trim a tree if you are getting too much shade is not to cut the top of the tree off. You might as well chop it down. And don’t forget to have the stumps removed, they are unsightly and if you can’t afford to remove the stump, how can you afford to buy the house. It brings down the value of your neighbor’s houses.

If you have trees in your yard, learn how to take care of them and have them trimmed by professionals. The money spent will come back when you sell the house.

If you are treated unacceptably write the corporate headquarters, send the letter to the CEO and any other executives you think are responsible for the department which you received the treatment from. Don’t send an email, write an actual letter on the computer or by hand and mail it to each one. They will be shocked to receive a letter and you will already have their attention. That doesn’t guarantee a response back but no doubt the issue will get looked into. The first thing to remember is to cool your temper first, spend a few days drafting the letter, and take a look inside, ask yourself, are you the problem or is it the companies? Don’t write the letter in a negative tone, instead write to inform them of an issue or issues that you believe need their attention.

If your pharmacy fills a prescription you didn’t need or fills it incorrectly, don’t accept it and make them put it back on the shelf or correct it. It doesn’t matter if the prescription is free or not, they still make money if you accept it.

If your pharmacy regularly tells you the wrong answer, get in the habit of writing down the name of the person you are talking to. My pharmacy is famous for this behavior. Pharmacists have too much power and at least at my location they interpret the law and rules differently.

It’s important to know how your pharmacy fills prescriptions. Do they refill on the date it was filed or the date it was picked up? They are very different and if they don’t use a solid process, you may have to run to the pharmacy today because you’re out.

If your partner or friends interrupt you before saying the second sentence or make a comment that isn’t relative it is frustrating but not worth fighting over because they will not change.

If you work for a Japanese company that has a facility in America, they expect you to have a Japanese work ethic which is work long after your boss calls it a day, work when you are off work, and have late-night meetings to accommodate the time frame difference every week, they will distrust you and will always believe whatever a Japanese employee says before you. You also have to be available 24/7 and it’s a tick against you if you’re not. If you far exceed the American work ethic but your work ethic isn’t up to Japanese standards you’re considered a slacker.

Using a company’s reward perks can pay off if they have a good program. Amazon where I shop for almost everything has a Subscribe & Save program. If you know you buy an item at the same time every month, subscribe and save money. Sometimes it’s 5% and others it’s 15%. I’m learning to take advantage of these savings and it’s reassuring to know you can change or cancel anytime.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Communicating · Health and Wellbeing · Mental Health

Friday Quote

August 30, 2024 Looking for the Light6 Comments

Thank you for joining me for this week’s Friday Quote.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Self-Care

Things I’m Loving-Health, Wellness And Household

August 29, 2024 Looking for the Light11 Comments

Here are a few products I’m loving with right now. I hope you find a product to add to your household or self-care routine. The list may also give you ideas for a surprise for friends, and family. Most products are found on Amazon. I am not an Amazon Affiliate and do not make a commission on any product you choose to buy. All links take you directly to the company of the product on Amazon. Clicking on the links does not cost you more.

FIRST HONEY®

Manuka Honey Cream for Dry & Itchy Skin | Fast Relief for Eczema, Rosacea, Psoriasis, & Dermatitis | Natural & No Fillers | Safe for Babies & Toddlers | 3.5 oz

Made with the highest quality medical grade Manuka honey to target the treatment of distressed skin. Anti inflammatory, moisturizing, and naturally soothing, our fast-acting skin cream can help reduce swelling, increase skin regeneration, and calm skin irritations. Gentle enough for everyday use, our formula works with the nature of your skin, not against it,
to rebalance, restore and protect.

30% medical grade Mänuka honey with natural healing and anti-inflammatory properties draws moisture into the skin while creating a barrier to protect distressed skin from pathogens. All natural emollients deliver additional antioxidants and vitamins A, C and E to soothe skin irritations and increase
skin regeneration. Aids in healthy skin barrier function and prevention of transepidermal water loss.

Visit the FIRST HONEY Store

I have Ecxema on my face and ears and my prescription cream wasn’t working. I tried another balm but it didn’t provide any results but this balm is a miracle worker. It has diminished all the spots except for the worst one on my left eyelid however it has improved and I’ve only used it for three days. I’ve already purchased another one in case I can’t find it next time.

Fruit Fly Trap for Indoors

Fly Traps Indoor for Home Bug Zapper Indoor Insect Trap with Suction, Time Setting, Bug Light & 10 Pcs Sticky Glue Boards (White)

Effective Result: Place insect traps indoor near fruits, plants or garbage cans and turn off lights for best effect. Fly traps catch fruit flies, mosquitoes, small insectsmoths and small bugs, paired with sticky glueboards, insects have nowhere to escape.
Time Setting Option: Plug in the usb cable and adapter, press the bug traps indoor on/off button to work. Continuous run or 6/12 hours timing function, more convenient to daily use.
Widely Use and Low Noise: Fruit fly traps for indoors adopts physical mosquito control, safe and low noise. Mosquito trap are commonly used in homes, kitchen, living room, restaurants, and other areas where flies can be a nuisance or a health hazard.

Brand: FVOAI

We have Zevo traps in multiple places in the house but the backdoor attracts more than you can believe. The refills are not inexpensive so I bought this one for the backdoor, you can get 50 refills for under $20 which is a bargain compared to Zevo. It’s quiet and attracts the tiny flying bugs as well as Zevo or maybe better.

Theraspa Professional Nail & Cuticle Oil

2.0 fl oz – Nourished with Jojoba, Avocado, Vitamin E, and Biotin (B7) for Superior Hydration, Repair, Revitalization, and Strengthening (Olive)

Comprehensive Nail Care: A harmonious blend of these ingredients creates a powerhouse formula for overall nail and cuticle health.
Holistic Approach: Addresses multiple aspects, from hydration to strength and appearance, for comprehensive nail and cuticle care.
Portable: Compact design allows for on-the-go nail care, ensuring your nails stay nourished anytime, anywhere.
Free from Harsh Chemicals: Formulated without common irritants, the Avocado Oil, Jojoba Oil, Biotin, and Vitamin E provide a soothing experience for your nails and cuticles.
Suitable for All Skin Types: The formula is gentle and well-tolerated, making it suitable for individuals with sensitive skin.

I’ve used an expensive brand for years, it had a built-in brush and smelled out of this world but it didn’t last long. When it was time to buy again I went looking for one without a brush and a larger size. Boy, I hit the jackpot with this brand. I purchased the Olive blend and it smells great and the bottle holds so much more that it will last a long time.

Visit the THERAPISPA Store

Waiakea Hawaiian Volcanic Coffee

Vanilla & Mocha Combo Pack – Ready to Drink Canned Coffee

Natural Volcanic Filtration

Waiakea Hawaiian Volcanic Water

Naturally alkaline with pH range of 7.6-8.2

Visit the Waiakea Store

Due to the problems I’m having with my Eshophgus my morning coffee is out of the question for now. After two months I was missing my coffee so badly that I started trying cold-brewed lattes. One of the biggest issues I had with the brands I tried was they were too sweet which isn’t my style. This brand has 70% less sugar and tastes so good. They are more expensive but life is too short to drink bad coffee.

Blink Tears Lubricating Eye Drops

0.5 fl oz (15 mL) Eye Care for Mild to Moderate Dry Eyes, Hyaluronate for Boosting Hydration, Moisturizing & Soothing Eye Drops for Dry Eyes

Relief with Every Blink: Experience immediate and long-lasting dry eye symptom relief with Blink Tears Lubricating Eye Drops. These moisturizing eye drops instantly soothe & hydrate, restoring your tears’ natural salt balance and maximizing hydration
Hydration Boost with Hyaluronate: Our lubricating eye drops for dry eyes instantly moisturize mild to moderate dry eyes. The unique formula of the eye drop quickly thickens and stabilizes your tear film
Moisture Hold: Blink eye drops are formulated to stay in the eye for long-lasting dryness relief. These lubricant eye drops maximize hydration and provide comfort
Reduce Everyday Discomfort: These drops provide lubrication and hydration to the surface of the eye, keeping the eye moist

Visit the BLINK Store

I have struggled with Dry Eyes for as long as I can remember and have tried so many brands it’s crazy. I first used the regular version and bought this at CVS when I noticed it was an improvement. Boy, what a difference they have made. I still use a prescription but they burn so I put these in afterwards and use it during the day. No more dry eye!

I hope you find one or more of these products useful for you or a family member.

Melinda

Chronic Illness · Communicating · Health and Wellbeing · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Mental Illness · Moving Forward

When a Loved One Denies Their Bipolar Diagnosis

August 29, 2024 Looking for the Light8 Comments

By Julie A. Fast

Medically Reviewed by Allison Young, MD

Last Updated: 21 Aug 2024

Although it’s incredibly frustrating when someone is in denial of having bipolar disorder, it’s important to remember that acceptance cannot be forced.

It can be upsetting, stressful, and downright incomprehensible when someone with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder denies the mental health condition and refuses treatment. You may find yourself watching helplessly as behaviors tied to untreated bipolar lead to family distress, broken relationships, problems at school and work, money woes, and alcohol and drug abuse.

If you try to help someone in denial, you will probably be accused of interfering if you even mention the word “bipolar.” This is confusing, because it’s very easy for you to see what’s wrong, and naturally you want to point out the problem in hopes that the person will then get help. Often, however, your attempt just makes things worse.

RELATED: 8 Essential Things to Know When First Diagnosed With Bipolar Disorder

It hurts when a person in denial shuts you out, but, sadly, it’s common.

What’s even more confusing is that you can have an honest conversation about bipolar when your loved one is stable, reviving your hopes that the person will enter or stick with treatment. Then … boom! Here comes the denial again.

Learning to Accept That Your Loved One Is in Denial About Their Bipolar Diagnosis

It may be cold comfort to learn that it is very typical behavior for people with bipolar disorder to deny they are “sick” and to avoid treatment, even if they have been in the hospital or taken medications for bipolar in the past.

Also, it’s important to remember that people in denial are usually miserable, in a great deal of internal pain, and can’t see a way out. It’s easy to believe they really can’t see what’s going on. But unless denial is a result of a mood swing — such as strong mania or paranoia — the affected individuals usually know what is happening. They respond to your concern with aggression, because they are trying to protect their decision to deny the brain-based disorder.

It hurts when a person in denial shuts you out, but it’s common. The person prefers to be around others who don’t mention bipolar, and will paint you as the “bad guy” because you are the one who is stating the truth.

RELATED: 10 Ways to Support Someone Who Has Bipolar

There is good news, however. I’ve talked with hundreds of people who moved through denialto eventually admitting that bipolar is at the root of their problems and they needed help. Over and over again, I’ve been told how, despite their relentless inner pain and confusion, they refused help and pushed away the people who cared about them.

It’s when someone realizes they no longer want a life controlled by bipolar disorder that they begin to listen to loving advice instead of fighting back.

Steps to Take When a Loved One Is in Denial About Their Bipolar Diagnosis

If your loved one continues to be in denial of their bipolar diagnosis, here are a few things to keep in mind.

Find the sweet spot: Are there periods when your loved one is more open to discussion? Oftentimes, people are more receptive during a mild depressive episode. Once you see a pattern in your loved one’s moods, you’ll have a better sense of when to gently start a conversation.
Set expectations: If a loved one with bipolar is living with you, you have the right to set expectations for behaviors, such as drug use, drinking, yelling, staying in bed all day, staying out all hours, and yes, refusing treatment. You are always in control of what works best for you. It’s not always about the person with the mental health condition. It will be up to you to decide the consequences — and set and reinforce boundaries — if your expectations aren’t met.
Understand the challenges: Always remember that bipolar is a mental health condition. No one chooses to have bipolar disorder. People in denial can be very unpleasant, and it’s easy to walk away from them, but don’t forget they are suffering. It’s okay to address this directly. Go ahead and say you understand that it must be hard to have someone tell you what to do. Say that you can tell they feel misunderstood. People in denial may get angry or refuse to reply, but they have heard you. Many times, when they get better, they will tell you they heard you.
Hold onto hope: I’ve known many people who accepted treatment after years of being in denial, often when loved ones learned simple strategies and got them help at the right time. It isn’t easy to hang on until then. Nothing with bipolar disorder is easy! But bipolar is treatable, even for those who currently refuse to admit they are unwell and need help.

UPDATED: Printed as “Fast Talk: The Denial Factor,” Summer 2011

Julie A. Fast

Julie A. Fast is the author of the bestselling mental health books Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder, Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder: Understanding and Helping Your Partner, Getting It Done When You’re Depressed, OMG, That’s Me! (vol. 2), and The Health Cards Treatment System for Bipolar Disorder. She is a longtime bp Magazine writer and the top blog contributor, with over 5 million blog views. Julie is also a researcher and educator who focuses on bipolar disorder prevention and ways to recognize mood swings from the beginning—before they go too far and take over a person’s life. She works as a parent and partner coach and regularly trains health care professionals, including psychiatric residents, pharmacists, general practitioners, therapists, and social workers, on bipolar disorder and psychotic disorder management. She has a Facebook group for parents, The Stable Table, and for partners, The Stable Bed. Julie is the recipient of the Mental Health America excellence in journalism award and was the original consultant for Claire Danes’s character on the TV show Homeland. Julie had the first bipolar disorder blog and was instrumental in teaching the world about bipolar disorder triggers, the importance of circadian rhythm sleep, and the physical signs of bipolar disorder, such as recognizing mania in the eyes. Julie lives with bipolar disorder, a psychotic disorder, anxiety, and ADD.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Fun · Mental Health · Photography · Self-Care · Travel

Wordless Wednesday-Flowerama

August 28, 2024 Looking for the Light21 Comments

I’m glad you joined me on Wordless Wednesday and I hope to see you soon.

My husband went to Costco and bought flowers as usual but I had fresh flowers already. Then I went to a store across town to get my almond milk and I could not pass up the mini arrangement for my office. I am overjoyed this week with all the fresh flowers, this rarely happens.

Melinda

Health and Wellbeing · Infectious Diease · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

West Nile Is Now A Global Crisis

August 27, 2024 Looking for the Light2 Comments

There is a global crisis warning about the West Nile Virus and the areas it effects are growing by the day. West Nile is new to many countries and we have to take notice.

What is West Nile?

West Nile virus (WNV) is a single-stranded RNA virus that causes West Nile fever. It is a member of the family Flaviviridae, from the genus Flavivirus, which also contains the Zika virus, dengue virus, and yellow fever virus. The virus is primarily transmitted by mosquitoes, mostly species of Culex. The primary hosts of WNV are birds, so that the virus remains within a “bird–mosquito–bird” transmission cycle.^[1] The virus is genetically related to the Japanese encephalitis family of viruses. Humans and horses both exhibit disease symptoms from the virus, and symptoms rarely occur in other animals.

Contrary to popular belief, West Nile virus was not named directly after the Nile River, but rather, after the West Nile district of Uganda where the virus was first isolated in 1937.^[2]However, the names are indirectly connected since that district of Uganda is named after the Albert Nile, a tributary of the Nile River in this region. After its original discovery there, it was found in many other parts of the world. Most likely, it spread from the original West Nile district.

What are the symptoms of West Nile?

West Nile virus (WNV) is usually spread by mosquitoes that become infected when they feed on infected birds, which often carry the disease.^[53] Rarely the virus is spread through blood transfusions, organ transplants, or from mother to baby during pregnancy, delivery, or breastfeeding,^[53] but it otherwise does not spread directly between people.^[55] Risks for severe disease include being over 60 years old and having other health problems.^[53] Diagnosis is typically based on symptoms and blood tests.^[53]

What time of year is West Nile most active?

According to the Center for Disease Control, infection with West Nile Virus is seasonal in temperate zones. Climates that are temperate, such as those in the United States and Europe, see peak season from July to October. Peak season changes depending on geographic region and warmer and humid climates can see longer peak seasons.^[58] All ages are equally likely to be infected but there is a higher amount of death and neuroinvasive West Nile Virus in people 60–89 years old.^[58] People of older age are more likely to have adverse effects.^{[citation needed]}

There are several modes of transmission, but the most common cause of infection in humans is by being bitten by an infected mosquito. Other modes of transmission include blood transfusion, organ transplantation, breast-feeding, transplacental transmission, and laboratory acquisition. These alternative modes of transmission are extremely rare.^[59]

Prevention

Prevention efforts against WNV mainly focus on preventing human contact with and being bitten by infected mosquitoes. This is twofold, first by personal protective actions and second by mosquito-control actions. When a person is in an area that has WNV, it is important to avoid outdoor activity, and if they go outside they should use a mosquito repellent with DEET.^[59] A person can also wear clothing that covers more skin, such as long sleeves and pants. Mosquito control can be done at the community level and include surveillance programs and control programs including pesticides and reducing mosquito habitats. This includes draining standing water. Surveillance systems in birds is particularly useful.^[60] If dead birds are found in a neighborhood, the event should be reported to local authorities. This may help health departments do surveillance and determine if the birds are infected with West Nile Virus.^[61]

This is all important information to know and to know and how to prevent. The outcome of getting the virus is serious even life-threatening.

Melinda

References:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/West_Nile_virus#Humans

Blogging · Celebrate Life · Fun · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Travel

Sending A Special Thank You To the Countries Who Have Visited My Blog-Malta, Argentina, Cyprus And France

August 27, 2024 Looking for the Light5 Comments

Thank you for inviting me into your life by visiting my blog. I appreciate you and get my itch to travel through you. The only country I’ve traveled to is France. I stayed in Paris for a week and had the time of my life. I’m from Texas and have an accent, you can imagine how the few words I could say in French sounded. I stayed in the welcoming 12th arrondissement, and my replies were met with a smile. I saw the touristy areas which were amazing, spent a half day at the Palace of Versailles, and took a train to the Taittinger winery. I looked forward to a tour even though I didn’t understand French but the cellars were amazing. Taittinger is one of my favorite champagnes and rivals several of the more expensive brands I’ve tasted. Bringing back six bottles was an effort.

I look forward to returning to France to visit the wine country and tour more wineries.

As for the other countries, a visit to your country is on my bucket list. I am ready to travel Internationally again but not ready to get on an airplane, it’s not safe right now. Too many systems going down, understaffing and widows blowing out of aircraft for my comfort level.

I hope this post finds you happy and healthy. :)

Melinda

Blogging · Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Blogger Highlight-Willie Torres Jr.

August 26, 2024 Looking for the Light23 Comments

Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their blog with you. This week we highlight Willie Torres Jr. We have only followed each other for a short time but we become fast friends. He is a joy to talk to, a talented writer, and a is a man of God. I feel comfortable talking to him in a way that I don’t with most others.

Willie Torres Jr.

My name is William Torres, but my family and friends call me Willie. It is a pleasure to be here with you today, and I am excited to share my faith journey with you.

My journey has been amazing and fulfilling as a new Christian. I have seen God work in my life in ways I never could have imagined. I have grown closer to my faith and have seen Him work in my life and the lives of those around me. I am truly blessed to call myself a Christian, and I am excited to continue to grow in my faith.

I began writing stories that I believe were inspired by the Holy Spirit. These stories are my testimonies about the different trials I have gone through, and how the Lord has helped me to overcome them. Through this process, I’ve discovered that I can forgive those I once vowed to never forgive, and in turn, my relationships with them have been restored. They are now a huge blessing and a special part of my life.

I have also started a Social Media Ministry on Facebook, which I invite you to visit here. Being Crazy For Christ is a platform where I share my journey of faith, and I am also on YouTube – Willie Torres Jr. and I am excited to see all that God will do through it.

I find all of Willie’s posts inspiring and enjoyed this recent post. It’s called One Stormy Might.

Be sure to stop by and say hello. Pull up a chair, and read through his archives. You will find his style of writing uplifting and down-to-earth.

Melinda

Looking for the Light

Communicating · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward

The Behaviors That Get On My Last Nerve

August 26, 2024 Looking for the Light23 Comments

This post isn’t a rant, it’s more of a message for those who behave this way. I have no tolerance for bad behavior, it’s rude and uncalled for.

Here is a sampling of bad behaviors I can live without.

Cutting in line, or leaving a beer in line doesn’t count. Go to the back of the line.

Harassing the elderly.

Feeling entitled.

Weaving in and out of traffic.

Driving 40 miles over the speed limit.

Thinking you’re better than others.

Throwing trash anywhere.

Thinking the rules aren’t for you.

When you drive in water that is too deep, you get what you deserve. You need to pay to be rescued.

Thinking you aren’t responsible for paying off your college loan.

Parking your car in front of your house when there is room in the driveway.

When the neighbor’s pool company parks their truck in the alley and blocks traffic.

When someone talks over another person, unless it’s an emergency shut up and wait your turn. You’re not that important.

People who don’t flush the toilet.

Someone decides for me, it’s not your place and I have a perfectly good brain.

If someone rides my bumper, I may slam on the brakes. Gun or not, I’ve done it before.

If you talk down to someone, you need a bitch slap.

Crosswalks at a street light are for people, not your vehicle.

If you are in front of someone while entering or leaving a building, you have the extra few seconds to let them go first and hold the door open for them.

Don’t take photos of others without their permission unless they are committing a crime, following you, or vandalizing property.

These are a few that come to mind this morning.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Chronic Illness · Communicating · Health and Wellbeing · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Mental Illness · Moving Forward

13 Celebrities Who Embrace Their Bipolar Disorder

August 25, 2024 Looking for the Light7 Comments

These 13 celebs accept their bipolar and are using their platforms to break the stigma and push for acceptance of brain-based conditions.

By Jade Zora Scibilia

Whether you love them or “love to hate them,” celebrities can make a real difference, especially when they take a stand for something positive. The following stars with bipolar disorder use their fame (and occasional notoriety) to draw our attention to what really matters, start meaningful conversations among loved ones and policymakers, break the silencing effect of social stigma, and enhance both awareness and acceptance of this brain-based disorder. These celebrities — among others — have had a life-affirming, morale-boosting impact. Whether through a “tell-all” interview or memoir, a powerful pop song, or a moving on-screen performance, these stars continue to rally people with bipolar — and their supporters — to power through and find the hope of a new day.

1. Faye DunawayIn the HBO documentary Faye, the iconic Faye Dunaway, now 83, talks about her lifelong battle with mental health, including her bipolar disorder diagnosis.“Emotion is a strength, not a weakness,” she shared with The Independentat the documentary’s premiere in Cannes in May 2024. Dunaway reflects on how her intense emotions fueled her performances but also contributed to her reputation for being difficult on set — earning her the nickname “the dreaded Dunaway” (and “Dread” for short) from Jack Nicholson during Chinatown. In the documentary, Dunaway candidly discusses how she’s worked with doctors and taken medication to manage her mood swings. She acknowledges it’s been difficult, but “it’s something I’ve had to deal with and overcome and understand. It’s part of who I am.”

2. Alan RitchsonYou may know Alan Ritchson as the star of Prime Video’s Reacher, but did you know he also lives with bipolar disorder? Diagnosed at 36, the now 41-year-old actor has been open about his struggles.“As much as I would like to ignore that I’m a suicide survivor, if I didn’t share what I’ve learned, I feel like my life would be meaningless,” Ritchson told CBC Radio’s “Q” program. “I’ve always been a happy-go-lucky guy, but once you experience the grip [of depression] — the talons it can sink into you — you realize how sinister this thing is and how out of control the biology can really be.”

Click to Read More

Jade Zora Scibilia is a former editor at bpHope, bp Magazine and Esperanza. She was formerly the managing editor at Prometheus Booksand the senior editor of Seventh Street Books and Pyr. She is also the author of two nonfiction children’s books.

I applaud anyone who steps out and embraces their mental illness, there is still a stigma, and those who are public about it are brave and very strong.

Melinda

References:
https://www.bphope.com/bipolar-buzz/celebrities-who-embrace-their-bipolar-disorder/?utm_source=iContact&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=bphope&utm_content=BUZZ+-+Aug25+-+Celebrities

Chronic Illness · Communicating · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Trauma

National Grief Awareness Day August 30

August 25, 2024 Looking for the Light5 Comments

Grief has touched millions of lives at one point or another and many have grieved several times. I know grief well, two of my close friends in high school died, my father died in 1992, my Granny died in 2005 and my Gramp’s in 2010. Everyone grieves differently and there is no time frame regardless of what people say. Who would tell a parent how long to grieve for their child, I would pray that no one is that uneducated. My father commited suicide and I spent seven years grieving yet as much as I loved my Grandparents and as close as we were, I grieved less. Maybe it was because I was a caregiver to both.

The key to grieving is giving yourself the time you need yet not get stuck there. We all have to move forward.

What Is National Grieving Awareness Day About?

This National Grief Awareness Day on August 30 is dedicated to raising awareness of the myriad ways in which individuals cope with loss. It offers resources to those going through personal losses and reminds us to support people we know who are grieving. National Grief Awareness Day, founded by Angie Cartwright in 2014, hopes to encourage open communication on loss and bereavement and better inform the public on the facts of grief.

Grief is one of the oldest and most enduring aspects of the human experience. If you haven’t yet experienced grief, it’s unfortunately likely to happen. The term ‘grief’ encompasses all of the emotions around a loss, and ‘mourning’ is defined as the external expression of the pain. ‘Bereavement’ is another commonly-used term for grief. Throughout human history, there have been many attempts to describe and heal grief, and they have changed significantly over the years.

Due in part to our vastly improved physical and mental healthcare, grief is understood far differently today than even as little as 100 years ago. While we often have the privilege (for some, even the expectation) of only losing our loved ones when they are at a ripe old age, comfortable, and with family nearby, this has rarely been the case throughout history. The lack of modern transportation often separated loved ones, wars ravaged populations, and poor medical and sanitation knowledge led to too many untimely deaths. Throughout history, the deaths of loved ones have been far more common, and grief was understood differently.

Melinda

References:

National Grief Awareness Day

Blogging · Celebrate Life · Communicating · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Bots Are Back! Today 756 Are From Facebook/Meta

August 23, 2024August 23, 2024 Looking for the Light9 Comments

I’ve had a total of 921 Bot hits on my archive but what’s worrying is that 756 came from Facebook, what is Meta doing? This has happened three days in a row and the numbers are going up. I’ve never had this happen before and I can’t help but be alarmed. Of course, I’ve heard nothing back from WordPress and don’t expect to. I have to believe the Bot is targeting WordPress versus my blog.

I don’t know if this is a security risk or just searching for content to use to answer questions asked by their system. I was stalked several years ago by a blogger I knew, they hacked my system, terrorized and made it look like it was two bloggers I trusted. They had a mental illness that consisted of several personalities of which I did not know the names. They sent me texted and sent messages while I was typing. I came to believe they didn’t plan to hurt me and one day she used her real name. Once I confronted her the stalking stopped. I was a long seven months and it affected me greatly.

To say I’m concerned when these types of events happen is an understatement. I don’t know if this is the future of AI or something more sinister.

Can anyone enlighten me on what is happening and if I need to be alarmed. I would truly appreciate your feedback. The number of countries that have seen an increase in the views of the archives have gone and it’s from countries that never read through my archives. Today it’s up to six countries.

Thank you.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Communicating · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Mental Health

Friday Quote

August 23, 2024 Looking for the Light7 Comments

Thank you for joining me for this week’s Friday Quote.

I’m not thrilled with the use of pink, that’s sexist to me.

Melinda

Reference:

https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/g44287993/womens-equality-day-quotes/

Celebrate Life · Family · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Things I’ve Learned In 61 Years Part Four

August 22, 2024August 22, 2024 Looking for the Light19 Comments

If you think the weekend is the only two days you’re happy, you’re right. You will manifest the other days as bad ones.

If your parents accomplished something, it doesn’t mean you will.

If your parents didn’t accomplish something, it doesn’t mean you won’t.

If your parents are rich it doesn’t mean you will be rich.

Work for what you get, it makes you a better person. If not, you will live expecting things and life isn’t that way.

You must know the difference between needs and wants. Wants will lead to debt maybe poverty and if nothing else you’ll pay 20-30% interest each month on your credit card. Cash is king.

If you don’t know every ugly wart and behavior of your partner, you don’t know them and marriage is the last step to take.

If a person can not look you in the eyes, there’s a reason. Get under it or you will pay later.

A person who says their fine is rarely fine. Dig deeper.

If you are treated poorly where you shop, at the doctor’s office, or anywhere else, find another place to do business. Life is too short for bad behavior and getting mad and complaining will not solve the problem.

Just because your parents went to a certain college doesn’t mean you have to. Have a backbone.

Just because your parents or siblings are in a certain line of business doesn’t mean you have to. Have your own identity and do what you love.

Buying vintage or antique furniture that requires refurbishing or not will reward you for many years. If you find a piece that has great bones and is reasonably priced, it’s worth the restoration. Today furniture is not made with the same high-quality wood and you will have a hard time finding handmade furniture with hand-turned designs or inlays unless you go the top of the line or have a piece custom-made. The same is true for frames, the intricate designs that are hand-made will reward you for years.

Self-confidence does not come from others, only you.

It’s not someone else’s fault, it’s yours for accepting. People with bad behavior rarely change.

To learn in life you have to make mistakes and learn from them.

If you do not keep your skills current you fall by the wayside.

If you don’t know how to communicate with people and can’t make compromises you are in bad shape and won’t keep a job and possibly a relationship.

If you think everything is wrong and people are all being unfair to you, look in the mirror.

You manifest what you think about and are unhappy about life, change your thinking to change your life.

If you judge others, you’ll find what you’re looking for.

The country that starts a war, provoked or not, it’s that country’s war, they own it, they set the strategy, and will end the war on their time, NO ONE else’s.

You can not negotiate with terrorists, and if they are holding prisoners don’t expect to see them come home.

People who fled their country or the home of their ancestors are no longer citizens of the country for a reason.

The country you live in now will not stop the war back home, they will work to negotiate but your anger, and violence fall on deaf ears.

If you don’t protest peacefully then you’re violent and need to go to jail. There are more productive ways to send a message.

Businesses look at their bottom line first and how they invest their money is of no concern to you. You’re foolish to think you can get them to divest.

Protesting just to protest and voice your anger is a waste of energy and nobody wants to hear it. Do something productive.

America is responsible for the American people, there are many failures in the systems but are superior to many countries.

If you don’t like America, go somewhere else. We don’t need your negative energy.

If you are living paycheck to paycheck you can’t afford eating out, expensive cars, cigarettes, booze, or partying. You’re responsible for the bed you make. Being poor sucks, change your situation.

If you are living on government subsidies, you can’t afford to smoke, drive a new car, drink, have multiple streaming services, go out to eat, party, and buy electronic play toys. Being poor sucks, but it can be temporary if you work hard to better your life. There are too many examples in every town that have improved their life by working hard. You won’t see them living on subsidies.

There are millions of people in many countries who live in poverty through no fault of their own and can not change their situation. I wish you all the best and pray for your health and happiness.

Always invest in the future no matter how small the amount, it adds up.

Always invest in your children’s education no matter how small the amount, it adds up.

Would you rather pay cash or pay 20-30% interest each month?

Always set realistic goals, work towards them every day, and keep them in the forefront of your mind and you will manifest it so. Then set new goals, that what is takes to succeed.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Communicating · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward · Survivor

Women’s Equality Day August 26

August 22, 2024 Looking for the Light13 Comments

Women have made huge strides in leveling the playing field but it’s still very lopsided. Women have fought for their rights for over 100 years, and we’re not there yet. I’m so glad there are younger generations who have the skills and determination to keep pushing forward. Make 2024 the year you stop settling and stand your ground for equal rights!

Where it began

The Woman Suffrage Amendment was first introduced on January 10, 1878. It was resubmitted numerous times until it was finally approved by both the House and Senate in June 1919. The bill needed to be approved by two-thirds of the states, so suffragists spent the next year lobbying state legislatures to gain support for the bill. On August 24, 1920, Tennessee became 36^th and final state to ratify the amendment, which passed by only one vote. That one vote belonged to Harry Burn, who heeded the words of his mother when she urged him to vote for suffrage. Secretary of State Bainbridge Colby signed the amendment into law on August 26, 1920.

Fifty years later on August 26, 1970, Betty Friedan and the National Organization for Women organized a nationwide Women’s Strike for Equality. Women across the political spectrum joined together to demand equal opportunities in employment and education, as well as 24-hour childcare centers. This was the largest protest for gender equality in United States history. There were demonstrations and rallies in more than 90 major cities and small towns across the country and over 100,000 women participated, including 50,000 who marched down Fifth Avenue in New York City.

In addition to the marches, groups of women participated in publicity stunts aimed at garnering more recognition of gender inequality. Women in New York City took over the Statue of Liberty, hanging two 40 foot banners from the crown reading “March on August 26 for Equality” and “Women of the World Unite.” An organized group stopped the ticker tape at the American Stock Exchange, and held signs such as, “We won’t bear any more bull.” Female teachers also filed a lawsuit against the New York City Board of Education in which they demanded gender equality in appointing educational administration positions. The case lasted about 10 years and finally resulted in an increase in female principals.

While the strike did not halt the activities of the nation, it drew national attention to the Women’s Movement. The New York Times, for example, published their first major article on the Feminist Movement by covering the events of the day. It even included a map of the route the marchers took through the city.

In 1971, Representative Bella Abzug (D-NY) introduced a successful bill designating August 26th of each year as Women’s Equality Day. Part of the bill reads that Women’s Equality Day is a symbol of women’s continued fight for equal rights and that the United States commends and supports them. It decreed that the President is authorized and requested to issue a proclamation annually in commemoration of woman suffrage and the 1970 Strike for Equality. Women today continue to draw on the history of these brave and determined women.

Women’s Equality Day is celebrated in the United States on August 26 to commemorate the 1920 adoption of the Nineteenth Amendment (Amendment XIX) to the United States Constitution, which prohibits the states and the federal government from denying the right to vote to citizens of the United States on the basis of sex. It was first celebrated in 1971, designated by Congress in 1973, and is proclaimed each year by the United States President.

he date was chosen to commemorate the day in 1920 when the Secretary of State Bainbridge Colby signed the proclamation granting American women the constitutional right to vote.^[1] In 1971, following the 1970 nationwide Women’s Strike for Equality,^[2] and again in 1973, as the battles over the Equal Rights Amendment continued, Congresswoman Bella Abzug of New York introduced a resolution to designate August 26 as Women’s Equality Day.^[3]

In 1972, President Richard Nixon issued Proclamation 4147, which designated August 26, 1972, as “Women’s Rights Day” and was the first official proclamation of Women’s Equality Day.^[4] On August 16, 1973, Congress approved H.J. Res. 52, which stated that August 26 would be designated as Women’s Equality Day and that “the President is authorized and requested to issue a proclamation in commemoration of that day in 1920 on which the women in America were first guaranteed the right to vote”.^[5] The same day, President Nixon issued Proclamation 4236 for Women’s Equality Day, which began, in part: “The struggle for women’s suffrage, however, was only the first step toward full and equal participation of women in our Nation’s life. In recent years, we have made other giant strides by attacking sex discrimination through our laws and by paving new avenues to equal economic opportunity for women. Today, in virtually every sector of our society, women are making important contributions to the quality of American life. And yet, much still remains to be done”.^[6]

As of 2023, every president since Richard Nixon has issued a proclamation each year designating August 26 as Women’s Equality Day.^[7]

I’m proud there is a day on the calendar but that doesn’t satisfy me in the least. Equality is an everyday, day-after-day effort to level all playing fields. Women have fought hard for the progress we’ve made but there is so much more to go. Gone are the days of the good old boys at the workplace and sports is a dinosaur with its pay scale. Women don’t have the same size contracts with advertisers as men and I’m sure the list is longer than I have the wind to write.

Melinda

References:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women’s_Equality_Day

https://www.womenshistory.org/articles/womens-equality-day

Chronic Illness · Health and Wellbeing · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

What You Need to Know About Massage Therapy for Fibromyalgia

August 21, 2024 Looking for the Light7 Comments

Medically reviewed by Gregory Minnis, DPT, Physical Therapy — Written by Traci Pedersen on May 26, 2023

Massage therapy can reduce pain and improve overall well-being in people with fibromyalgia.

Living with fibromyalgia can be challenging, as the condition is characterized by chronic pain, fatigue, and sleep disturbances.

While medications can be helpful for managing some symptoms, they don’t work for everyone. Many individuals turn to complementary treatments, such as massage therapy, for relief.

Massage therapy has been shown to manage pain, improve sleep, and reduce anxiety and depression.

What kind of massage is best for fibromyalgia?

Massage therapy involves the manipulation of soft tissues such as muscles, tendons, and ligaments to promote relaxation and relieve tension.

Here are some types of massage that may be beneficial for people with fibromyalgia:

Swedish massage: Swedish massage is a gentle form of massage that uses long strokes, kneading, and circular movements on the topmost layers of muscles. It’s effective for reducing muscle tension and promoting relaxation.
Myofascial release: Myofascial release targets the connective tissue (fascia) surrounding the muscles. A review of six studies found that myofascial release (both therapist- and self-administered) significantly improved pain, quality of sleep, and quality of life right after treatment. It also had a moderate effect 6 months post-treatment.
Trigger point therapy: This technique involves applying pressure to specific points on the body that are believed to be sources of pain. It uses various techniques such as compression, stretching, and massage to alleviate pain and discomfort.
Shiatsu: Shiatsu is a form of Japanese massage that involves applying pressure to specific points on the body to relieve tension and promote relaxation. Shiatsu is believed to trigger the release of endorphins, which are the body’s natural pain relievers.
Thai massage: Thai massage combines acupressure, stretching, and compression techniques to promote relaxation, improve flexibility, and reduce anxiety.
Connective tissue massage: This type of massage focuses on manipulating the fascia that surrounds muscles and bones. It’s often used as part of manual therapy (a variety of hands-on techniques) used by physical therapists, chiropractors, and massage therapists to help reduce pain and improve mobility.

Is massage therapy effective for fibromyalgia?

ResearchTrusted Source suggests that massage offers several positive effects on various aspects of fibromyalgia, including reducing pain, anxiety, depression, and sleep disturbances. These benefits are likely due to a combination of physical and mental mechanisms.

For instance, physical pressure and manipulation during massage may help reduce muscle tension and increase blood flow, which can help alleviate pain and improve physical function.

At the same time, the relaxation and stress-reducing effects of massage can have positive effects on mental well-being, including reducing anxiety and depression and improving sleep quality.

The overall result is a complex interaction between physical and mental factors that can improve overall health and well-being for individuals with fibromyalgia.

One 2020 studyTrusted Source found that manual therapy with moderate pressure on the posterior cervical muscles (a group of muscles located at the back of the neck) in people with fibromyalgia helped reduce pain, muscle fatigue, and anxiety. Further research is needed in a larger population.

What are the benefits of massage for fibromyalgia?

Massage therapy can provide several benefits for people with fibromyalgia, including:

pain relief
improved sleep
reduced stress and anxiety
increased range of motion
improved mood

How does massage therapy for fibromyalgia work?

Massage therapy for fibromyalgia is believed to work in several ways. First, it releases tension in muscles and trigger points, which can help reduce pain and stiffness.

Additionally, massage therapy may also release endorphins and increase levels of the neurotransmitters serotonin and dopamine in the body, which can help regulate mood and improve sleep.

Can massage make fibromyalgia worse?

In some cases, massage may temporarily worsen fibromyalgia symptoms. This can occur if your massage therapist applies too much pressure or uses techniques that are too aggressive for your condition.

However, it’s important to note that 75%Trusted Source of people with fibromyalgia seek massage therapy, which suggests that it’s quite helpful. So, even though massage can be fairly painful at times, many people with fibromyalgia continue to use it for its long-term benefits.

Will insurance cover massage therapy for fibromyalgia?

Insurance coverage depends on your insurance policy and the specific treatment plan prescribed by a healthcare professional. Some insurance plans may cover a certain number of massage therapy sessions as part of a treatment plan, while others may not cover it at all.

It’s best to check with your insurance provider or healthcare professional to determine coverage options. Additionally, some massage therapists may offer a sliding scale fee or accept insurance directly, so it’s worth exploring different options.

Bottom line

Massage therapy may be an effective option for reducing pain, stiffness, and fatigue for people with fibromyalgia. It may also improve mood, sleep, and overall quality of life.

Several types of massage may help with fibromyalgia, including myofascial release, Swedish massage, and shiatsu.

If you’re interested in massage, it’s important to look for a licensed massage therapist in your area who’s trained and experienced in treating fibromyalgia. You can search online or ask for recommendations from a healthcare professional or friends.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Fun · Mental Health · Photography · Self-Care

Wordless Wednesday-Burst Of Color In White Vase

August 21, 2024 Looking for the Light9 Comments

I’m glad you joined me on Wordless Wednesday and I hope to see you soon.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Communicating · Family · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward

Update On Storytelling Series

August 20, 2024 Looking for the Light4 Comments

Hello Advocates! 

NAMI Texas is continuing our efforts to elevate your stories and lived experience! As we prepare for the 89th Legislative Session starting January 2025, we are focusing on gathering specific stories. This is the third month in our Storytelling Series, for the month of August, we are featuring school-based mental health services. Your stories related to this issue are vital, and rest assured, confidentiality is imperative to us. With your permission, we may reach out for further insights. Additionally, if you are interested, you could participate as a storyteller at one of our events or at the Texas Capitol. Your story has the power to strengthen written and/or oral testimony, presentations, policy briefs, and media coverage.

School-based mental health services are vital in promoting students’ well-being and academic success. These services may include counseling, psychological assessments, and the development of individualized education programs (IEPs) for students with mental health needs. For instance, a student struggling with anxiety might receive regular counseling sessions with a mental health provider such as a psychologist or social worker to develop coping strategies. Another student with ADHD might have an IEP that includes accommodations like extended test-taking time or a quiet space for exams. These comprehensive support systems not only address immediate mental health issues but also equip students with the tools they need for long-term success. We invite you to share your experiences with school-based mental health services. Your stories and insights can help us better understand the impact of these services and advocate for their continued support and improvement.

Additionally, if your child or children are enrolled in Medicaid and are facing significant issues with hard limits on treatment services (whether in policy or practice), behavioral health services, or services for medically complex conditions, we would greatly appreciate it if you could share your story with us.

Head over to our Advocacy Campaign  to share your lived experience! Your story can provide valuable insights into the landscape of school-based mental health services. By sharing your experiences, you can help us advocate for the strengthening of these services, ensuring they better meet the needs of all students.

Please feel free to share with your networks! As always, feel free to reach out to our Public Policy Director, Lyssette Galvan, publicpolicy.director@namitexas.org, or Peer Policy Fellow, Christine Busse, peerpolicy.fellow@namitexas.org.   

With gratitude, 

The NAMI Texas Public Policy Team 

Melinda

Art · Celebrate Life · Fun · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Self-Care · Travel

The Treasures On My Bookcase

August 18, 2024 Looking for the Light8 Comments

The bookcase in my office holds many treasures including travel finds, books, photos, candles, and an antique camera. The items bring me joy, and memories of travels and adventures. Here are a few photos.

Celebrate Life · Communicating · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Survivor · Travel

“It Ends With Us” – NO MORE x Wayfarer Studios’ Tools & Resources to Spark Change

August 18, 2024 Looking for the Light1 Comment

PUBLISHED

Aug 16, 2024

NO MORE

This week, we have been proud to join Wayfarer Studios, the independent production company behind “It Ends With Us,” the film adaptation of Colleen Hoover’s best-selling novel of the same name, in spotlighting the extensive resources, information, and tools available to all theater-goers, fans of the book, and community organizations in the U.S. and around the world.

You can check out a story in Variety here, and below is an overview with a few more details.

Through an end card running in the film’s credits, and a dedicated page on nomore.org, NO MORE is offering survivors/victims of domestic and sexual violence and their loved ones easy access to find help. Most notably, through the NO MORE Global Directory which seamlessly connects people to support services in the U.S. and 200 countries and territories around the world.

Resources created for the film include:

The “It Ends With Us” Viewers’ Guide for audiences to learn to differentiate between healthy and unhealthy relationships and find out how to make a positive difference in their own communities.
A specially-branded version of the NO MORE Silence: Speak Your Truth platform where people impacted by domestic and sexual violence can safely share their stories and find support.
A free Community Toolkit to provide sector and community organizations with ideas and tools to use the film to create special events, programming, educational materials and content to engage and activate local audiences.
We also included a link to “The Lighthouse,” a comprehensive guide providing information for survivors on recognizing abuse and getting help for themselves and their families.

All of these elements can be found here.

In addition, we have kicked off an ongoing social media campaign with Wayfarer Studios’ Man Enough platform to raise awareness of key topics raised in the film and encourage everyone to join in and become part of the solution.

This effort builds on Wayfarer’s and NO MORE’s long-standing partnership, first announced in 2023, to use the power of art and entertainment to inform, support, and inspire greater progress in preventing gender-based violence and promoting healthy relationships. As part of this partnership, NO MORE served as a content advisor on the film, both within the script and throughout pre- and post-production, to help ensure that domestic and sexual violence were portrayed as accurately and sensitively as possible.

We know that the issues raised in the story of “It Ends With Us” are all too prevalent in our society. One in 4 women and 1 in 7 men in the US experience severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime, and more than 15 million American children live in homes in which domestic violence has happened at least once. That’s why we feel so strongly about using this cultural moment of the film’s release to spark dialogue, increase awareness, and inspire meaningful change.

We hope you’ll join us! See the film, explore our resources, and help break the pattern of abuse. Together, we can end domestic and sexual violence!

With gratitude,

The NO MORE Team

Be sure to tune in, it promises to be an informative event for women and men.

Melinda