I’m glad you joined me on Wordless Wednesday and I hope to see you soon.
Melinda
Category: Mental Health
Rare Symptoms You Might Have with Fibromyalgia
I’ve charted my struggles with Fibromyalgia for years and it can be debilitating for months, then give you a reprieve just long enough to enjoy and it’s back again. I have been fortunate to not have any major issues in 2024 and it’s a good thing, I have had enough to deal with. I have Restless Leg Syndrome and it can make it so hard to fall asleep, it’s nerve-wracking. I also have Neuropathy in my feet which burn quite bad. I do caution against some of the medications listed below, they are used off-market meaning they’re being used for something they are not approved for, and this is the case with Cymbalta which is a mental illness medication, the side effects are high, and some are dangerous. Anytime you take medication read the Full Prescribing Instructions, not the cliff notes. I’ve taken Cymbalta for my Bipolar Disorder and it’s a rough drug. I was not able to take due to side effects. After spending thousands on medications, and not being able to take them, I now ask the doctor what medication they plan to prescribe and why. Then I ask them to hold off sending the script into the pharmacy while I read the Full Prescribing Information which is available on the manufacturer’s website. After I feel comfortable trying the medication, I have them call the pharmacy. It may sound like a lot of work but you get out what you put in on the front end. Gone are the days of blindly taking a medication a doctor prescribes.
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Fibromyalgia can lead to unusual symptoms in some people. Knowing the range of symptoms this condition can produce may help with diagnosis and treatment.
Experts estimate that around 4 millionTrusted Source adults in the United States have fibromyalgia. This condition causes widespread pain, brain fog, and mood changes. However, there are many more, less common signs a person may experience.
Keep reading to learn what additional symptoms may be a sign of fibromyalgia, what causes them, and how they can be treated.
Can numbness and tingling be a sign of fibromyalgia?
Fibromyalgia may cause numbness and tingling, also called paresthesia, in the extremities (arms, legs, hands, and feet) due to the nerves being overly sensitive or compressed. It may feel like a burning or prickling sensation.
Treatment for paresthesia is aimed at addressing the root cause. In this case, fibromyalgia can be treated with various medications that address nerve pain and inflammation
You may manage paresthesia at home with over-the-counter (OTC) pain medications and topical pain relievers.
Can restless leg syndrome be a sign of fibromyalgia?
Restless leg syndrome (RLS) may cause uncomfortable feelings (itching, throbbing, etc.) in the legs and an urge to move the legs. RLS is associated with sleep disturbances, which can affect up to 99% of people with fibromyalgia.
RLS cannotTrusted Source be cured but is managed with things like iron supplements, antiseizure drugs, benzodiazepines, and — in severeTrusted Source cases — opioids. Drugs to increase dopamine (dopaminergic agents) may also help but cause side effects if they’re used long-term.
Managing RLS at home involves:
- avoiding smoking, drinking alcohol, and consuming caffeine
- following good sleep hygiene habits
- getting regular exercise, including stretching
- taking warm baths
- using heating pads or ice packs
Hypersensitivity to touch, also called allodynia, may be caused by mixed messages from the neurons in the brain sending pain signals when there is no real pain. ResearchersTrusted Source explain that the true cause is mostly unknown.
Allodynia is treated individually. You may work with a pain clinic to get physical therapy, psychological support, and oral medications (like calcium channel antagonists, NSAIDs, etc.) for the pain.
Without treatment, allodynia may get worseTrusted Source over time. You can manage it by working on stress relief and accepting that the pain may not go away completely.
Other uncommon signs and symptoms
Fibromyalgia affects each person in a different way. Beyond the usual symptoms, there are various other less common signs of fibromyalgia.
They may include:
- excessive sweating (hyperhidrosis)
- skin lumps (lipomas)
- muscle spasms (dystonia)
- face or jaw pain (like temporomandibular joint syndrome)
- digestive issues (like irritable bowel syndrome, constipation, or bloating)
Treatment may be targeted at the specific symptom(s), or your doctor may suggest treatments for the fibromyalgia itself.
Medications include:
- duloxetine (Cymbalta)
- milnacipran (Savella)
- pregabalin (Lyrica)
When to talk to your doctor
Make an appointment with your doctor if you experience symptoms that concern you or interfere with your everyday life. Even if your symptoms are not related to fibromyalgia, they may be a sign of some other medical issue that needs attention.
Melinda
Reference:
Why Houseplants Are Good For Your Mental Health
I know firsthand how houseplants can be good for my mental health from the joy and rewards I get from my houseplants but I have not researched the topic.
Here are a few photos of my plants and you can see I work hard to keep them healthy and alive. I had a difficult time learning how to not over-water succulents but I have come a long way, only killing two recently.
Copilot had some interesting ideas about mental health and houseplants.
Houseplants offer several mental health benefits, making them more than just stylish decor. Here’s how they can positively impact your well-being:
- Improved Mood and Well-Being: The visual presence of houseplants, whether it’s the calming green foliage or the beauty of ornamental flowers, can make you feel more relaxed, secure, and happy1.
- Increased Compassion and Patience: Caring for plants encourages empathy and patience, as you learn to nurture and tend to their needs.
- Enhanced Self-Esteem: Successfully caring for houseplants can boost your confidence and sense of accomplishment.
- Reduced Stress: Being around indoor plants has been linked to reduced stress levels and improved mental health. Even just being in the presence of indoor plants can lead to better cognitive performance, lower physiological stress, and greater pain tolerance2.
So, consider adding some greenery to your living space—it’s good for your mind and body! 🌿🌱34
I agree, just a plant or two can liven up your space and motivate you to care for the plant and watch it grow. It will love you back.
Melinda
Blogger Highlight-Divine Spirit
Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their blog with you. This week we highlight Devine Spirit.
Divine Spirit
I am a wanderer, wandering aimlessly through oceans of thoughts, valleys of emotions and deserts of imagination. Writing is a newly unearthed passion of mine which I do on those moments when the duties of life and burdens of tasks had left me for a brief rest of their own. I live in a very rural village in a very tranquil territory with few people who I adore and enjoy being with.
On those moments when I get a little free time, my fellow beings can find me reading inspiring writings that helps to keep my head above the water in turbulent times. I am also an avid observer of human emotions and chooses observation over talking.
God is the most important part of life and I describe myself as a person bearing the sacred blessings of God.
~Devi Bhagavati
A brief about me and my blog:
I am Nita, a happy-go-lucky lady living in India, the land of Spirituality. I am a person, who is always silently looking out to the Universe looking for answers. Life in this world amazes me with its treasure of happiness, pain, and equal surprises finding its way to me. When everyday life and duties hold onto me, I sometimes have this unwavering desire to note down my thoughts that appear out of the blue and haunt the corners of my mind forever. In the blog, I am trying to find the answers to my innermost thoughts, bringing joy, bliss, and peace to my heart. I am grateful to all of you for being part of my soul’s journey to ultimate divinity.
Here is a link to a post she finds meaningful.
Her words are like a flowing river, calming and yet invigorating. Please stop by her blog and say hello.
Melinda
I Bought Myself A Birthday Present
I turned 61 this month and splurged on a new piece of furniture for my office. The old piece was tiny and had no storage space. The new cabinet is colorful and has plenty of room to store all the goodies I don’t want to lie about. I haven’t used the television in years so I don’t mind covering it with photos and flowers. Treating oneself is important, and I consider it a boost to my mental health.
I hope you take care of yourself too, it’s not the cost, it’s the joy you get from it.
Melinda
Friday Quote
Thank you for joining me for this week’s Friday Quote.
Melinda
Blogger Highlight-Shedding Light On Mental Illness
Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their site with you. This week we highlight Shedding Light On Mental Illness.
Amy and I have followed and supported each other for many years, she has helped me through some dark times and Amy understands firsthand how Bipolar Disorder can affect your life. Her life is one of great accomplishments such as being an Olympian and a successful speaker and yet she has faced the demons of Mental Illness. If you’re looking for motivation and inspiration her blog is the place to go.
Shedding Light On Mental Illness
“Shedding Light on Mental Health” is a compassionate and informative blog dedicated to breaking stigma and providing support for those navigating the complexities of mental health. Through years of mental health coaching, advocacy and speaking, I lean into my experiences and knowledge to help inform and educate my readers. Thanks for reading!
Amy is an Author & Olympian.
In January 2023, I began an 11 month journey to write a book about my experiences with mental health challenges. Almost everyday I wrote to finish a manuscript and ultimately had a book available on Amazon called Unsilenced: A Memoir of Healing from Trauma. I found the entire writing process to be unexpectantly be very empowering.
Here’s an excerpt from my book: “I had to come to terms with each piece of my past. From the sexual assaults, which wreaked havoc with my life, to the interactions with the criminal justice system and a near death experience. One event was quite a bit to cope with, but layered together, it was a lot to process. I tended to focus on one small piece at a time. Healing and grieving weren’t a linear process. The memories ebbed and flowed. I researched and found many stories of people who had struggled. Their stories shined a light for me that gave me hope I could fully recover too.”
Unsilenced
Unsilenced: A Memoir of Healing from Trauma is a deeply moving story of one woman’s journey through trauma’s unexpected, devastating effects and her ultimate recovery. Amy Gamble’s Story will leave the reader optimistic that even the darkest days can lead to bright outcomes.
Here is one of my favorite posts.
Tackling the taboo…42 Million Survivors!
Be sure to check out Amy’s book Unsilenced: A Memoir of Healing from Trauma, her story is one of survival and coming out the other side.
Melinda
Daily Quote
Melinda
Friday Quote
Thank you for joining me for this week’s Friday Quote.
Melinda
#Weekend Music Share-When In Rome – The Promise (Official Music Video)
This request came from Willie Torres Jr. from the blog Being Crazy For Christ.
It’s the weekend!!!!!!
I’m glad you joined me this week for another edition of Weekend Music Share.
Have a great weekend!
Melinda
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share, the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the Weekend Music Share banner in your post, and use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
Sending a Special Thanks to Uganda, Thailand, Yemen, Turkey and Kazakhstan
Thank you for visiting my blog and allowing me into your life. You’re what makes blogging so special. I have not been to any of the countries but have wanted to go to Uganda for as long as I can remember to see the Silver Back Gorillas. They are amazing animals and I can see their human behaviors. Diane Fosset spent years in Uganda researching the Gorillas and is famous for her research and the relationship she built with them. Now new researchers are picking up where her research left off, I’m so glad there is a new generation dedicated to the survival of the Gorillas and sharing their knowledge.
Melinda
Here’s a great video of Ronald Reagan being interviewed by Johnny Carson from 1975
The interview with Jonny Carson was after he was no longer the Governor of California and out of politics. This is not a take-party sides interview, it’s actually the opposite. He talks about common sense on issues that affect all people.
This video is so refreshing, and I look forward to the day someone like Ronald Reagan runs for the President. I try hard to keep out of politics but it’s very hard these days to not have an opinion, most of them strong. Many areas of our government are broken without a fix in sight. I love his candor and attitude and think he was a great President. We need someone like him to run for President because I don’t see anyone fit for the job now.
The most important comment he made was, not verbatim, that people need to look to themselves to solve problems, not the government. Amen, and a cherry on top!!!!!
Melinda
Repost from 2020.
Here’s What Copilot Said About My Blog
Melinda has been running the Looking for the Light blog for quite some time. She’s passionate about helping others and works hard to be an armchair advocate. The blog has been around for 14 years now, and Melinda has learned a lot during this time. If you’re interested in reading her posts, you can find them on her blog. 🌟📝
Additionally, if you’d like to explore more, she also celebrated 11 years on WordPress with her blog, which originally started as a personal diary called Defining Memories after her Granny passed away. You can find more about that milestone here. 🕊️
Besides her reflections on the grieving process in her early blog called Defining Memories, Melinda covers a variety of topics in her Looking for the Light blog. Some of these include:
- Mental Health: Melinda shares insights, personal experiences, and resources related to mental health. Her posts aim to raise awareness and provide support for those navigating mental health challenges1.
- Life Lessons and Inspiration: You’ll find uplifting content, life lessons, and inspirational stories that resonate with readers. Melinda’s writing encourages positivity and growth.
- Advocacy and Awareness: She advocates for causes she’s passionate about, such as child abuse prevention, domestic violence awareness, and human trafficking prevention. Her blog serves as a platform to spread awareness and promote change.
- Survivor Stories: Melinda shares stories of resilience and survival. These narratives highlight the strength of individuals who have overcome adversity.
- Creativity and Art: She explores creativity, art therapy, and the healing power of artistic expression. Expect posts related to photography, poetry, and other forms of creative expression.
Feel free to explore her blog and discover more fascinating content! 😊📝
Melinda began her blogging journey over 14 years ago when her blog was called Defining Memories. It served as a personal diary during her grieving process after her Granny’s passing. Over time, her blog evolved into Looking for the Light, where she shares insights, experiences, and advocacy on various topics. Melinda’s resilience shines through her posts, especially considering her health challenges, including Lyme disease, fibromyalgia, cognitive dysfunction, and dementia1. She continues to inspire others, even amidst her own struggles. 🌟📝
Additionally, she has contributed to the Invisible Project: Migraine Third Edition, shedding light on life with pain and advocating for better treatment options and research for headache diseases2. Melinda also highlights other bloggers, such as Creation of a Beautiful Life, emphasizing self-love, self-care, and pathways to happiness3. 🌿💡
It’s so interesting how AI pulls the information together. I could not have written this about myself. The Survivor Stories is from my blog Survivors Blog Here which I closed last year. I hope you enjoy the run down.
Melinda
Things I’m Loving Personal Care For Women
Here are a few products I’m loving with right now. I hope you find a product to add to your household or self-care routine. The list may also give you ideas for a surprise for friends, and family. Most products are found on Amazon. I’m not an Amazon Affiliate and make no commission off the links and the links take you directly to Amazon.
Dura Avocado Superfood Spray Oil
- Avocado Lotion – Avocado Spray Lotion provides moisturizing body lotion in a unique no-touch spray format. Made with nourishing coconut oil, this hydrating formula absorbs in seconds, leaves no greasy feeling and continues working for 48 hours.
- Spray On Lotion – Comes in a convenient spray on bottle that allows for hands free application. Perfect for travel and those hard-to-reach spots. It couldn’t be more simple, just spray to apply! The lotion spray absorbs in seconds!
Body Glide For Her Anti-Chaff Balm
- Additional Ingredients To Help Hydrate Skin And Retain Moisture. Rich In Vitamins A, B, E, And F
- Apply Before You Put On Clothes, On Inner Thighs, Around (Sports) Bra, Wherever Skin Is Sensitive To Rubbing
- Made With Allergen Free, Plant-Derived Ingredients. Vegan Approved, Never Tested On Animals. Child Safe
- Effective And Longlasting For Daily Use In Demanding Conditions. No Petroleum, Lanolin Or Mineral Oils
Weleda Skin Food Light Nourishing Cream
- INTENSIVELY HYDRATES DRY SKIN: the ultimate moisturizer for dry, rough skin, this rich, botanical formula transforms skin to appear more luminous
- MAXIMUM COVERAGE: just a small dab can nurture skin, ensuring every part of your body is hydrated and moisturized
SGM Silk Mulberry Silk Pillow Cases
Mulberry Silk Pillowcase for Hair and Skin, 22 Momme Natural Silk Pillow Case.
- Hypoallergenic and Gentle: Made from high-quality, hypoallergenic silk, pillowcases are gentle on all skin types and free from harsh chemicals and dyes.
- SGMSILK’s silk pillowcases can alleviate hair tangling and reduce facial creases, which can help protect hair and skin health over time.
- The soft and breathable silk material of SGMSILK’s pillowcases can help regulate body temperature, reduce sweating, and promote more restful sleep.
I love this pillowcase, they keep my hair in place and wick the oil off my face and hair. Amazon has had them on sale for anywhere between 45-50% off and I stocked up. I have not seen them on sale before but the regular price is very affordable at $21-$28 regular price. I wash mine in the washing machine and dry them, just take them out of the dryer right away or they will wrinkle.
Chemo Cold Therapy Socks & Hand Ice Pack Gloves
- Best Gifts for Chemo Patients: Contains 1 pair of chemo ice gloves and 1 pair of cooling socks. The 280 GSM thickness cold socks come with 6 reusable gel ice packs. While the hand ice pack gloves comes with 4 gel cold pack. Professional chemo gloves and socks for chemotherapy neuropathy patients or those with arthritis, hand injuries, carpal tunnel, foot pain, plantar fasciitis and inflammation from hard work.
- Ice Socks for Swollen Feet: Cold socks for chemotherapy neuropathy perfectly wrap your entire foot, ensuring adequate cold treatment to relieve foot pain, hot feet, foot fatigue, plantar fasciitis, Achilles tendon tendinitis, arthritis pain, sprain or plantar strain caused by inflammation and swelling, or reduce the swelling during pregnancy.
- Ice Gloves for Arthritis Hands: Cold mittens for chemotherapy with dual-layer design for comprehensive protection to hands during cryotherapy. The cold gloves for chemotherapy neuropathy deliver soothing cold therapy to the hands to relieve hand, wrist and carpal tunnel pain, rheumatoid arthritis, tendinitis, inflammation and swelling caused by heavy work or during pregnancy.
I use the gloves every night before going to bed, they make my hands feel so good in the morning. They also help with my Carpal Tunnel pain.
Dr. Ohhira’s Probiotics
- HIGHEST QUALITY PLANT-BASED PROBIOTICS that are naturally fermented for three years with all-natural ingredients and 12 different strains of friendly bacteria. Not grown in a lab with a single culture medium, Dr. Ohhira’s process simulates the environment in the human gut. Natural fruits and vegetables are added seasonally to feed the bacteria which the bacteria process and the result at the end of 3 years is strong and effective probiotics and metabolites, what we call postbiotic metabolites.
- THE DR. OHHIRA’S ORIGINAL PROBIOTIC capsule contains prebiotics (the fruits and vegetables) with strong and effective probiotic bacteria (12 strains) and postbiotic metabolites that the probiotic bacteria have been producing during three years of fermentation, including vitamins, amino acids, short-chain fatty acids (SCFAs), immune system-enhancing compounds, detoxifying agents and many other beneficial substances which support digestive function, whole health and improve the pH of your colon.
Visit the Essential Formulas Store
FOMIN Travel Deodorant Wipes
- SAY GOODBYE TO SWEAT & ODOR: Our mini deodorant wipes for women and men are your go-to armpit wipes and body wipes when it comes to removing traces of unwanted sweat and bacteria. Stay confidently fresh anytime, no matter where life takes you!
- TRAVEL-SIZED UNDERARM WIPES: Our handy travel deodorant wipes are individually wrapped and have been designed to be 100% biodegradable. These sweat wipes can be carried in a purse, wallet, gym bag, or conveniently placed in the car compartment.
- CLEAN AND CONSCIOUS WIPES: Through our partnership with Plastic Bank, we are able to save 12 plastic bottles from reaching our oceans with every fomin product sold. We are also TUV-Compostable Certified, Leaping Bunny Certified, & OEKO-TEX Certified.
Ryka women’s Echo Knit Sneaker
- PERFORMANCE TECH: RE-ZORB LITE for lightweight impact protection + shock absorption
- MADE FOR WOMEN FIT: Designed for a woman’s unique foot shape, muscle movement, and build with a narrower heel, roomier toe, and softer foot cushioning
- MATERIALS: Soft ribbed knit + Padded heel collar for extra cushioning
- CLOSURE: Slip-on fit with stretch topline for extra flexibility + front and back pull tabs for easy on/off
Melinda
Quote of the Day
Emotional Stability and Sleep: The Unseen Connection By Guest Blogger My Mind Strength
Sleep is critical for good and physical health, it took me years to understand the impact the lack of sleep caused me. Now I have a bedtime routine that is solid and it includes going to bed for 45 minutes to an hour to relax and clear my head and going to bed at the same time every day.
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How your mood depends on how well you sleep In today’s fast-paced world, sleep often gets overlooked. However, underestimating the power of sleep can lead to serious trouble. Sleep is crucial for our health and well-being, and neglecting it can have far-reaching consequences. Let’s dive into why sleep is so essential and what happens to your … Continue reading
Be sure to check her blog, she is whip-smart, and I’ve learned so much from her posts.
Melinda
Friday Quote
I’m glad you stopped by and I hope to see you soon.
Melinda
Just Pondering
Hi, I’m glad you stopped by, and I look forward to seeing you soon.
While it can be easy to describe others without negativity, doing the same about yourself might be challenging. Without overthinking, write down the first 10 positive things about yourself that come to mind, write big and bold.
Melinda
NAMI Texas Advocacy Newsletter June 26, 2024
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| Hello Advocates, In honor of Pride Month, the NAMI Texas Public Policy Team wanted to take the opportunity to provide some information and resources surrounding the LGBTQ+ community. The History: Pride Month is an annual celebration held throughout the month of June to honor and recognize the LGBTQ+ community and its history, culture, and contributions. It commemorates the Stonewall Riots, a pivotal event in LGBTQ+ history that occurred in June 1969 in New York City, which marked a turning point in the fight for LGBTQ+ rights. A note from NAMI National: “NAMI represents the interests of all people with mental health conditions, yet all people with mental health conditions do not have the same level of access to care and do not receive the same quality of care. Data shows that members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning, intersex (LGBTQI+) community are at a higher risk for experiencing mental health conditions and often experience discrimination in health care settings.”1 You can read more about NAMI National’s stance on policies impacting the LGBTQ+ community here. Organizations Focused on Providing LGBTQ+ Support and Resources: The Trevor ProjectThe Trevor Project is a nonprofit organization that provides information, support and crisis intervention for LGBTQ+ young people. The Trevor Project disseminates a yearly U.S. National Survey on the Mental Health of LGBTQ+ Young People. Fast Facts from the 2024 Survey:290% of LGBTQ+ young people said their well-being was negatively impacted due to recent politics.45% of transgender and nonbinary young people reported that they or their family have considered moving to a different state because of LGBTQ+-related politics and laws.50% of LGBTQ+ young people who wanted mental health care in the past year were not able to get it. The Jed Foundation “The Jed Foundation is a nonprofit that protects emotional health and prevents suicide for our nation’s teens and young adults, giving them the skills and support they need to thrive today…and tomorrow.”3 The Jed Foundation offers resources including but not limited to, literature reviews, support through online community forums and a Proud and Thriving Framework to develop and strengthen mental health support for LGBTQ+ students across the country. Links to The Jed Foundation’s Resources and Supports:Proud & Thriving Project Announcement and Executive SummaryJED Queer & Questioning Literature ReviewJED Trans & Nonbinary Literature ReviewWebinar: Introducing the Proud and Thriving Framework to Support the Mental Health and Wellbeing of LGBTQ+ Students By using our voices to advocate for equitable access to mental health care and showing our unwavering support, we can create a welcoming and inclusive environment for all members of the LGBTQ+ community. With gratitude,The NAMI Texas Public Policy Team Sources:1. NAMIResolutionAgainstLGBTQDiscrimination.pdf2. The Trevor Project: 2024 U.S. National Survey on the Mental Health of LGBTQ+ Young People3. The Story of JED | The Jed Foundation |
 NAMI National’s #Vote4MentalHealth Pledge Mental health impacts nearly all aspects of our lives. And at NAMI, we advocate on a wide range of policy priorities, from health care to criminal justice to housing and beyond. No matter the topic, we know that mental health matters. Your vote in the upcoming elections matters, too. Every elected official – from the president and Congress to county commissioners and city councilmembers – has influence on issues impacting people affected by mental health conditions. That’s why it’s so important to understand how voting impacts mental health. Take the first step: click the following link to pledge to #Vote4MentalHealth this November. NAMI won’t tell you who to vote for. We encourage you to research candidates on your ballot, decide what issues are most important to you, and cast your vote this election season. Save the Date: 2024 Positive Behavior Management and Support Workshops! The Texas Health and Human Services Commission (HHSC), in conjunction with the University of North Texas, is hosting free two-day Positive Behavior Management and Support (PBMS) and Advanced PBMS workshops in-person at the North Austin Complex on July 16 – 17. Continuing education units will be offered. Registration will open June 14, 2024. For more information, visit Training Initiatives | Texas Health and Human Services. June 2024 Health and Human Services Reports: Consolidated Reporting of Opioid-Use Disorder Related Expenditures – Fiscal Year 2023 Medicaid Managed Care Oversight and Quality – June 2024 Overview of Medicaid Managed Care Procurement Process – June 2024 Reporting of Waiting Lists for Mental Health Services – May 2024 Annual Report on Federal Community Mental Health Block Grant Expenditures – 2024 HHSC Artificial Intelligence Testimony – June 2024 Annual Report on Federal Substance Use Prevention, Treatment, and Recovery Services Block Grant Energy Savings Program Quarterly Report – Q2 – FY2024 End of Continuous Medicaid Coverage Monthly Enrollment Report to CMS – June 2024 (Excel) Senate 2024 Interim Legislative Charges: Notice of Public Hearing Thursday, September 5, 2024, at 9:00am Senate Finance Committee (E1.036) Mental Health Services and Inpatient Facilities: Monitor the implementation of Senate Bill 30, 88th Legislature, Regular Session, with regard to appropriations made for expanding mental health services and inpatient facilities across the state. Report on the progress of inpatient facility construction projects. Assess and report on the effectiveness of spending on mental health services. You can view the full hearing agenda, here. Wednesday, September 18, 2024 Senate Health & Human Services Committee (E1.012) Children’s Mental Health: Review care and services currently available to the growing population of Texas children with high acuity mental and behavioral health needs. Make recommendations to improve access to care and services for these children that will support family preservation and prevent them from entering the child welfare system. Access to Health Care: Evaluate current access to primary and mental health care. Examine whether regulatory and licensing flexibilities could improve access to care, particularly in medically underserved areas of Texas. Make recommendations, if any, to improve access to care while maintaining patient safety. You can view the full hearing agenda, here. You can review the list of Interim Charges in its entirety, here. House 2024 Interim Legislative Charges: Notice of Public Hearing Tuesday, July 9, 2024, at 10:00am Youth Health & Safety, Select (E2.026) The committee will meet to hear invited testimony only on the following interim charge: Behavioral Health Services for At-Risk Youth: Evaluate programs and services currently available to children and families that are either involved with, or at high risk for becoming involved with, the foster care and juvenile justice systems. Study the current barriers for accessing community-based behavioral health services for children with intense behavioral health needs, with an emphasis on ensuring that parents do not have to give up custody of children to gain access to services. Electronic public comment:Texas residents who wish to electronically submit comments related to agenda items on this notice without testifying in person can do so until the hearing is adjourned by visiting this webpage. An additional hearing for this interim charge will be held on July 31, 2024, at which point public testimony can be provided. Wednesday, July 31, 2024, at 10:00am Youth Health & Safety, Select (E2.026) The committee will meet to hear both invited testimony and public testimony on the following interim charge: Behavioral Health Services for At-Risk Youth: Evaluate programs and services currently available to children and families that are either involved with, or at high risk for becoming involved with, the foster care and juvenile justice systems. Study the current barriers for accessing community-based behavioral health services for children with intense behavioral health needs, with an emphasis on ensuring that parents do not have to give up custody of children to gain access to services. Please note: public testimony will be limited to three minutes You can view the full agenda for the July 7th hearing here.You can view the full agenda for the July 31st hearing here. You can review the list of Interim Charges in its entirety, here.  Public Policy Platform Development Input Our 2025-2026 Public Policy Platform surveys have concluded. Thank you much for your time and input on these important matters! We could not do this work without all of you. Stay tuned for our Public Policy Platform which will be published in the fall. Breaking Barriers, Busting Stigma: An Infographic Series NAMI Texas Policy Fellow, Hannah Gill, will be creating a series of infographics highlighting barriers that individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities (IDDs) face. The following graphic is the fifth in the series.  NAMI Texas Conference: Celebrating 40 Years of Hope and HealingEvery year, NAMI Texas hosts an Annual Conference and Awards Celebration. These events bring together individuals living with mental illness, family members, professionals, and the general public to highlight the latest updates in the mental health field, exchange information, and celebrate the year’s successes. With exciting keynotes, informative workshops, a lively exhibit hall, Continuing Education Credit, networking opportunities, and special surprises, the Conference has something for everyone. This year, we are celebrating 40 Years of Hope and Healing. We could not be more excited to be bringing the Conference to West Texas. All Conference events will be held in the heart of bustling downtown El Paso, primarily in the beautiful El Paso Convention Center. There are many nonstop flights to El Paso from major Texas airports. The local Affiliate in the area, NAMI El Paso, is eager to welcome Texans from across the state. We hope you will join us in November for this extra special celebration! Ticket sales are live! As a thank you to our supporters for helping NAMI Texas have a successful Mental Health Awareness Month, there is a special sale on tickets through June 30th. Buy now to get the best possible deal on tickets! Check out this link to purchase your tickets. 2024 NAMI Texas Annual Conference Call-for-Presentations! All topics related to mental health are welcome, but the Conference Planning Committee has identified the following 4 thematic categories of particular interest: 1.) Children, Youth, & Families, 2.) Underserved Populations, 3.) Criminal Legal System, and 4.) Innovation and Creativity. For further details and to access the form, check out the call-for-presentations webpage. The deadline to submit a workshop proposal is August 2nd, 2024. NAMI SMARTS Classes Grassroots advocacy is about using your voice to influence policymakers and make a difference. Turn your passion and your lived experience into advocacy for mental health with the NAMI Smarts for Advocacy training. NAMI Smarts for Advocacy will enhance your advocacy skills and help you shape a powerful and personal story that will move policymakers. NAMI Smarts for Advocacy gives you step-by-step tools and the hands-on practice you need to feel confident and ready to make a difference. The NAMI Texas Public Policy Team does not currently have any classes scheduled. Be sure to keep an eye on our calendar for forthcoming classes. |
| If you have anything you would like to share with NAMI Texas advocates in these emails, please send the information to policy.fellow@namitexas.org – Hannah Gill and the NAMI Texas Public Policy Team |
| Mental Health in the Media KCBD Investigates The Mental Health Crisis: Texas ranks last in access to mental health services“LUBBOCK, Texas (KCBD) – Brittany Simpkins remembers the moment she knew what she was meant to do. “Second semester of undergrad. I took a class in psychology of personality and was completely fascinated,” Simpkins said. Simpkins graduated with a Master of Science in Nursing, and took a job with LifeGift. Simpkins is now the intake director at Oceans Behavioral Hospital in Lubbock. “Watching somebody come in and they are completely at the end of their rope and don’t have any hope, don’t think that it’s going to get any better, walk out with a smile on their face and a hug and, ‘Thank you for saving my life,’ it doesn’t get any better than that,” Simpkins said.” ‘Grateful to be alive’: Programs take pressure off overwhelmed Texas mental health hospitals“When Jonathan Denhart was discharged from the psych ward at Austin Oaks Hospital last year, he was prepared to be back very soon. For more than 40 years, Denhart has cycled through rehabs, sober housing, mental health hospitals and 12-step programs to treat his bipolar and substance use disorders, but nothing worked. As Denhart was about to walk out the door a hospital staff member stopped him and suggested he stop by a place called Austin Clubhouse to try a vocational rehabilitation program.” Williamson County strives to close gaps in access to mental health care “As part of a collaborative effort, Williamson County officials have worked to increase access to mental health care, creating a more streamlined system for individuals experiencing mental distress. The county’s proactive approach prevents or redirects many individuals in the midst of a mental crisis from seeing a jail cell, instead allowing them to receive the appropriate help they need during a critical time.” Mental health booth installation to come to the Borderland“EL PASO, Texas (KVIA) — El Paso has won a national contest to receive a Hope Booth. A Hope Booth is a mental health installation telephone booth that helps connect people with local mental health services and support. The Hope Booth offers 3-minute interactive experiences to users in need of a pick-me-up. The contest was launched on May 1st. After over a thousand comments, El Paso came out on top.” Former Texas RB Jamaal Charles Opens Up About Battle With Mental Health“AUSTIN — After ending his time on the Forty Acres as one of the best running backs in program history, former Texas Longhorns star Jamaal Charles enjoyed a successful 11-year NFL career after being a part of the historical However, Charles recently admitted that he’s endured some concerning battles with mental health since his retirement from football in 2019.” |
NAMI is a highly respected organization with a ton of resources, be sure to check out their page for additional information and the advocacy work they do on Capital Hill. I’m a member of the Texas Chapter and NAMI is one organization I advocate for. It’s an armchair advocate but I do send letters to Texas and the Federal Government. on pressing issues and upcoming Bills.
Melinda
Can You Be Too Kind?
Kindness without self-care creates burnout. And it’s common among people in caregiving professions like, doctors and nurses who continuously take on the emotional strain of others. But burnout doesn’t happen because you use up too many empathy or kindness chips. Usually, people burn out when they don’t have time for self-care practices that let them recharge and focus on their mental well-being.
Here are five helpful tips we often fail to do:
Take breaks
Nap
Schedule vacation days and truly disconnect
Spend time outside
Make time for wellness activities like meditation, exercise, or a hobby.
From a Prevention Magazine in December 2021
All great points we can all use to take care of our mental well-being.
Melinda
WordPress 15th Anniversary
Has it been 15 years? My original blog on WordPress was Defining Memories which I opened in 2005 and closed when I started Looking for the Light in 2014, that date is in question now. My archives show posts for Looking for the Light starting in 2014 however there are a few extra archives from Defining Memories.
During 2012-2013 I contributed to a toxic collaborative blog until I came to my senses and got the out of Sesspool. The blog may have been toxic but I met several people who are still a part of my life. Gavin from Noir is a dear friend and we talk almost every week, Gavin is an amazing human being and an excellent photographer. Daniel from Hyperion Sky is the best storyteller I’ve ever met and maybe read. He is currently supporting a family member with dementia and doesn’t post often and Army of Angles, she is not blogging at the moment.
In 2014 I was a co-founder of Survivors Blog Here, it was a collaborative site with many talented bloggers from all walks of life. It was all-consuming but it changed my life. It was closed and deleted this year.
The math doesn’t add up but close enough for me.
Happy Anniversary with WordPress.com!
You registered on WordPress.com 15 years ago.
Thanks for flying with us. Keep up the good blogging.
Thanks to the support of many, I’m turning 61 years old and haven’t felt this good in years and I’m just getting started. Yes, I’ve slowed down for ongoing health issues and my mental health. Today I put my mental health at the top of the list, every day.
It’s been a wild ride filled with life’s journey, good and bad. Thank you for visiting my blog, following, and commenting, you’ve filled my life with joy.
To the special bloggers in my life, there are no words only gratitude. You’ve helped me grow, soften, and express myself, you’ve mentored me and best of all is the connection with you. :)
Melinda
Blogger Highlight-Don’t Lose Hope
Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their blog with you. This week we highlight the blog Don’t Lose Hope. All the photos are Ann’s and I had to share them, what a beautiful place to live.
Don’t Lose Hope
Ann is the Director of the Online Counselling College and Coaching Skills International, both based in Calgary, Canada. We provide general and specialist training in counselling and coaching. You can contact me at: ann@coachingskillsintl.com
A Little About Both Colleges
Online Counselling College
Ann has a Master’s Degree in Psychology, a Diploma in Clinical and Pastoral Counselling, and has completed a year of psychotherapy training. She has worked as a counsellor in private practice, and has taught in schools and colleges (both online and in classroom settings.) In addition to this, she has written accredited certificate, diploma and degree courses in counselling and psychology, in the UK and in North America. Ann has been working in education, counselling and psychology for over 30 years.
All our courses are designed by giving careful consideration to the needs of practicing professionals in a range of different fields.
We are chosen by organizations, agencies, schools and healthcare facilities from all around the world.
Coaching Skills International
“Coaching provides clients with a safe, supportive place where they can explore, gain insight, set new goals, and confidently start to build a more meaningful life.”
Offering Coaching Practitioner Courses and Professional Development Courses.
Her Word Press blog was originally started to support women who had learned they were in a relationship with a sex addict as there were a lot fewer websites to help women in that situation at the time. However, it has broadened to encompass all betrayal trauma and all trauma.
We have followed each other for years, she’s been a regular Guest Blogger and we have collaborated in the past. You may see the link to her blog and say “I’m not interested in reading about sex addiction.” Her blog contains so much more including the topics on how to heal that we can all relate to. Read the above paragraph again.
Ann has helped me tremendously and I’m happy to call her a friend.
Be sure to check out her blog, you will love it if you’re interested in human behavior. Pull up a chair and stay for a while, you are sure to find a post that resonates with you.
Melinda
#Weekend Music Share-LL COOL J – Saturday Night Special ft. Rick Ross, Fat Joe
This is the rap I like! The lyrics are real, not trash, not raunchy, with no half-dressed woman being demeaned and you can understand the words. LL Cool J is the greatest, he is multi-talented, an awesome actor, respectful, has a heart of gold, and sets a great example for all. Always keep your word!
It’s the weekend!!!!!!
I’m glad you joined me for another edition of Weekend Music Share this week.
Have a great weekend!
Melinda
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share, the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the Weekend Music Share banner in your post, and use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
Blogger Highlight-Yolanda and Her Creative Scream
Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their blog with you. This week we highlight the blog Yolanda and her creative mind.
Yolanda and her creative scream
My name is Yolanda. From the beginning, I wrote a lot here to teach people about mental illness. I do that sometimes in the present, but now I mostly share my creative perspective in photography, photoshop art, and poetry most of the time.
Yolanda picked up photography when she moved to Stockholm five years ago.
These are one image and one photo she likes and I wanted to share them with you.
Here is a recent favorite of mine.
Yolanda is also a published writer of the book Alternativt.
Baksidan lyder:
”Alternativt” är en bok som jag har skrivit när jag har varit frisk och när jag har varit sjuk. I grunden har jag Aspergers syndrom och lider av bipolär sjukdom. Som person är jag väldigt kreativ. Jag har tidigare givit ut en annan bok, som jag gav namnet ”I skuggan av en siluett skör som glas”. Både den och den här boken är mest baserade på dikter. Den förra boken innehåller även målningar och teckningar. ”Alternativt” bjuder på dikter och texter skrivna av en kreativ och alternativ kvinna, som är mycket mer än bara sina diagnoser.
Finns nu att köpa på Vulkan: https://www.vulkanmedia.se/butik/bocker/alternativt-av-yolanda-christoffersson/
”Alternativt” finns även att köpa i de flesta nätbokhandlarna!
Here’s a great review.
”Your talent bestowed within u by God endowed you to write and inspire others with the beauty and skills of your royal talent.”_-Van Prince
The interpretation of the photos she takes is amazing. She has Asperger Syndrome which I know very little about but I can feel the world around her and despite her challenges, she gets up and keeps living life. That is what we can all do. Live life.
Be sure to stop by and say hello, not only is she talented, she’s so sweet and grateful. I know you will enjoy her blog, pull up a set and stay awhile.
Melinda
You Say
Her voice! WOW!!!!
Lauren Daigle – You Say (Official Music Video)
I believe!
Melinda
Happy Father’s Day Gramps
Many of you know I was extremely close to both of my Grandparents, we loved each other dearly. Not only did they pull me from rock bottom, but they made sure I had the tough love needed to get away from the bad crowd I was hanging with, my drug addiction, and recover from my childhood trauma. It was truly unconditional love. I went to live with them after a year of bad girl boarding school at the age of 14 and they became my legal guardians.
My Granny worked with my Social Worker to find the right type of rehabilitation, it was a boarding school at a Convent that she remembered from her youth. It was just what I needed. They paid for my uniforms, the necessary towels and sheets, and a monthly allowance of $40 to buy a soda pop and a candy bar daily and they bought my cigarettes. Since I was a ward of the State of Texas, the state paid the yearly tuition. They came every Wednesday to the family group sessions and Granny would make enough goodies for my dorm or bring enough of the good candy everyone loved. We weren’t allowed to talk but the nuns let them come in for a minute to give me the goodies to share.
My Gramps had just retired and no doubt thought more about hunting, fishing, and his daily squirrel run to the levees. But he embraced me and taught the lessons of life, the ones that matter, they became my foundation. They cooked every day except for Saturday when they went to El Chico’s for Mexican food, I joined them long after leaving home, it was a special time between us.
Gramps enjoyed scratch-off games and we often gave them as treats, he would not but for himself. So we did.
These were his core values:
Work hard
Do it right the first time
If you borrow something, give it back in better shape
Always make time for family
Don’t hate
Stand up for yourself
Marriage was sacred
If you can do it yourself it means more
He was right on target and I have those values today and what I looked for in my husband.
He was very protective all my life but when it came to boys, he was extra tough. With a strict curfew, I couldn’t drive my car on weekends, only to school, to take Granny shopping or doctor appointments, and to work. He knew my schedule like clockwork. I had to pay him 8 dollars a week for gas and 50 dollars for the extra insurance. He taught me responsibility and accountability. There were no excuses unless it was a freak thing and I had to call before my curfew. Even 5 minutes late was late. I can’t thank him enough.
My Gramps was from a very poor family who were sharecroppers and self-taught wielders. He joined the Army in 1939 to leave poverty and build a better life for himself and he did just that. After leaving the Army, he worked as a mechanic for Greyhound Bus Line’s for 38 years, and he never accepted a promotion, he felt most comfortable working with his hands alone and had no BS from management. I can understand that.
He married only once to my Granny and loved her to the day she died. He had the strength to move forward and he built a full life after her death, by going to the recreation center every day, eating a 1 dollar lunch, always giving his milk to a man who needed it, and then playing dominos, for an hour or two. He made great friends there and they were in his life until the end. He tried indoor swimming which shocked me, even had a couple of friends visit him and he visited them. He believed in taking something every time he visited someone.
Money was important to build a simple humble life, never wanting more than he needed to provide. He accepted my Granny’s only son, my father, and no doubt he was a handful. He didn’t discipline my father, that was Granny’s job because he never wanted to impose on her. He was a happy man, witty, like a clean but dirty joke, not raunchy. He accepted people for who they were and felt everyone was equal except for a few. He was racist towards blacks, I’m not sure where that came from. He didn’t hate them but didn’t allow them in his house. He never spoke ill of anyone even though many family members deserved it.
He loved his family and the ones that mattered the most to him who were still alive, visited him during the last few weeks of his life. He didn’t tell anyone until I brought the phone book into the living room one day and said it was time to call family and friends.
The mold was broken when they made my Gramps, he was a proud man, who kept his word and took people at face value even to a fault. There were many hillbilly’s in the family and a few shady dealers but it didn’t matter to him.
Gramps called me Pud since I was a child until the end. It was something just between us and always meant love to me. I’m the person I am today abuse of their love and faith in my future. He only went to 3rd grade and Granny to 5th grade, that is what happens when you are poor and can’t afford the clothes or were needed at home to work. They made sure I went to school every day except the few occasional Granny would write a note so we could go have fun shopping for the formals I needed for high school. We pinched pennies, went to outlets, and found all my formals for under 20 dollars. Gramps wore nothing but Dickies work pants and they wore them out before buying new. I learned late that you don’t need more, but the best you can afford, don’t show off and be proud of what you have.
I spent the last 5 months of his life caring for him around the clock, sleeping in the front bedroom/junk room, and boy was he a handful. He expected me to be like Granny and keep everything like clockwork which is exhausting when you’re a caregiver. He was hard-headed and I get that from him.
My Gramps was a true American, as Toby Kieth sings, he fixed everything with a Craftsman wreck and WD 40, always drove American cars, did all the maintenance and car repairs he could, was an excellent lawnmower repair man, and fixed many for others.
I can go on and on but I will leave it here for another time. He was the only father I had, yes, I had a biological father but he didn’t know how to be a one due to an undiaonosised mental illness and he was an alcoholic.
The video says it all. RIP Keith, your songs added to the fabric of our lives.
Toby Keith – Made In America (Official Music Video)
Melinda
Things I’m Loving-Household, Nutrition, Dog Bones, and Dead Sea Salt
Here are a few products I’m loving with right now. I hope you find a product to add to your household or self-care routine. The list may also give you ideas for a surprise for friends, and family. Most products are found on Amazon.
Bambaw Insulated Bottle 32 oz
Insulated Water Bottle 32 oz, Blue Water Bottle Stainless Steel, Reusable Water Bottle, BPA Free Water Bottle, Big Water Bottle 32oz, Cold and Hot Water Bottle
The arthritis in my hands has made my old bottles hard to open and these are working much better with the twist of the lid and handle. I love that they are made in Belgium and are a Climate Partner-certified product.
Orgain
Organic Nutritional Protein Shake, Creamy Chocolate Fudge – 16g Grass Fed Whey Protein, Meal Replacement, 20 Vitamins & Minerals, Fruits & Vegetables, Gluten Free, Non-GMO, 11 Fl Oz (4 Pack)
USDA Organic
Kosher
Gluten-Free
Nutrition summary
4.0 servings per container | 1 carton (330ml)
| 250 | 270mg | 1g | 12g | 16g |
| Calories | Sodium | Dietary Fiber | Sugars | Protein |
Dr. Ohhira’s Probiotics
Original Formula with 3 Year Fermented Prebiotics, Live Active Probiotics, and The only Product with Postbiotic Metabolites, 30 Capsule
DR. OHHIRA’S PROBIOTICS are backed by over 20 scientific studies and recommended by digestive health and immune system health care providers. Does not include artificial additives, chemicals, preservatives, coloring, flavoring, animal by-products, chemical fertilizers, pesticides, or herbicides. Non-GMO and 100% vegetarian. Hypoallergenic (no dairy or gluten). Guaranteed free of soil-based organisms (SBOs).
Paw & Pantry
2-3″ Soft & Chewy USA-Chicken Mini Bones – Pack of 24 Rawhide Free Chicken Dog Treats – Highly Digestible & Chewy Grain Free Dog Treat Mini Bones – Great Non-Rawhide Chews for Small Dog with 100% REAL USA-sourced chicken as our #1 ingredient, Paw & Pantry dog chicken treats are densely packed with natural protein.
Grain? Gluten? Antibiotics? Never heard of ’em! Our chicken treats for dogs are made without all of that extra junk, creating a highly digestible treat and a great rawhide alternative for every dog to enjoy
Zevo
Flying Insect Trap, Fly Trap, Fruit Fly Trap (2 Plug-in Bases + 2 Refill Cartridges)
Effortless 24/7 continuous attraction works day and night to help protect your family from pesky flying insects. Designed for any room or area of your home where flying insects gather including kitchens, bathrooms, garages, and living spaces.
We checked them on Sunday and they work!
Minera Dead Sea Salt – 2 lb. Bag Fine Grain
Minera Dead Sea Salt dissolves easily in warm water to help cleanse and nourish your skin. Our Minera salt is harvested from the Southern end of the Dead Sea, where the mineral content of the water is at its highest. The salts are delivered to our customers in their pure, raw form, containing all the essential minerals that the Dead Sea is famous for.
I have purchased this brand for years and have never been disappointed. Dead sea salt is like no other, not only does it have minerals that are great for your skin but it also removes dead skin without effort. Be sure to rinse after bathing to remove the remaining salt.
What are some of your go-to products?
Melinda
Memories: I Was Stalked For Six Years
Repost from 2017 and the memory wasn’t a trigger, just life. Be aware of how people with an agenda can reel you in and they can take years to do it. Don’t fall for it.
On my first business trip, I was 24 years old and clueless. The company was celebrating a milestone. Once we were bored, around 20 of us found a bar and settled in. This is the time for a stalker, large groups of people, and pick your target.
First, he sent me a dozen white roses every day to my office. I was young and naive about stalking. I assumed he had money.
The cards started coming and he started asking me to come to Boston. The phone calls were coming more often. I didn’t know how a stalker reeled in their target.
After months of roses and cards, I gave in. Once in Boston, his lies were easy to see. The parents owned the house, he lived over the garage. My radar is up about but nothing else. There was a party at a friend’s house, let’s see how many are losers. The party was fun I talked about food, and one conversation about escargot stood out, they were amazed I knew how to say it right, wine, and traveling. He paraded me around like a 100-lb piece of meat.
We had a selection of drugs, hash, cocaine, and some using a needle. I don’t use a needle period. I enjoyed the selection of smokes. We left heading for his house, he was high and driving. We arrive and had problems with the stairs, we were too high, and laughing our ass off. I told him before arriving, that I would not sleep with him, ok no problem he said. We started doing a line of coke, no memory of how many lines, it didn’t matter
I was stoned. He tried to get to lay on the bed and he wouldn’t touch me. The other sleeping option was the couch, I chose the couch. His personality changed to anger. He begged me for what seemed like an hour. He finally gave up, leaving him to plan his next move.
I left my cell phone at home and used his phone to call Granny. BAD MOVE. We had lunch with his parents. They seemed normal, which was good, maybe the thoughts were a reaction from past experiences.
We went to the mall so he could buy me a leather jacket. WEIRD. Before leaving he takes me to a 5-star restaurant on the water. Then off to the airport, and listened to more lies.
The calls to my office and home were nonstop, leaving messages on my phone with his voice getting angrier, making threats. What can he do to me he’s in Boston. NAIVE.
The fear escalated over six years, always looking over my shoulder, and avoiding crowds. Years went by and I thought it was over, in 1992 I moved to another city 70 miles away for my job. He wrote me a letter at my new address. Dating was worse, you have to tell them about this crazy person. One guy I dated had two boys, and afraid for them he would go to the car alone in case a bomb ignited.
In 2017 someone I knew from WordPress started stalking me only now there was technology that allowed them to intrude on my entire life. I’m not a kid anymore and I still get scared. I thought the stalker had left me alone, yet they were still watching, always there, letting me know via text. This went on for two years and ended with the police pulling a gun on me in front of my house and neighbors.
I wrote in an earlier post about how I taunted the stalker. Don’t take my lead and attack back, by expressing your anger their aggression can escalate.
Don’t keep the secret to yourself, it’s a heavy load.
Don’t allow yourself to become bait, you know when something is off. Your gut will tell you.
RAINN is an organization I strongly believe in and they are on the top of my yearly donation list. The link is to resources for Stalking and Cyberstalking.
Melinda
A Breakdown Last Monday Night And There Is More To Share
I want to thank everyone for their prayers and notes of encouragement, they have been important to my healing. After resting a little there is more to share. I only recall two other breakdowns, the first when I was nine years old and again at 12 years old.
As the violence in the house escalated, we went to our bedrooms, I left my bedroom door cracked open and watched my step-father beat my mother again. Throwing her head from side to side, hitting the wall each time, you could hear her begging for her life. They stopped in front of my bedroom, he had a knife to her throat and she closed her eyes and begged under her breath.
I was 12 years old, can’t remember the events other than it included my dad and me wanting to kill him. I spent two weeks on my bed catatonic, rocking back and forth.
My childhood was a constant trauma until I was 14 years old. When I was 28 years old, my father committed suicide. He was living with an undiagnosed mental illness with no medication by choice. For seven months after his death, I looked inward and sought out a Psychiatrist. After a few false starts, I found an exceptional Psychopharmacologist and he treated me for over 32 years.
Early on he said I needed therapy and introduced me to my current therapist who I’ve seen for over 30 years. With her I was able to slowly unpack the locked box of memories, sharing my life without emotions. I’ve gone through the first three steps of healing from trauma and have chosen not to take the fourth step which is reliving the memories and feeling the emotions. I won’t feel the pain again.
Monday’s breakdown was a combination of many factors. I’m on a new medication and my mood is not stable, that morning a trauma was triggered that had long been forgotten and packed away since I was 19 years old. The memory didn’t shake me, there was no emotion at the time. I’ve also been watching a violent series mostly centered on gang violence and the trafficking of women. Over the past 5-6 episodes I’ve watched one woman who was broken and dead inside, be beaten again and again. Running for her life, she realized there was nowhere to go, so she went back to the man who broke her.
I cried for her each episode but the reality of her future became clear. It broke me, sitting in the chair I sobbed uncontrollably as I grabbed the sides of my body. I fell to the floor, the pain was overwhelming. My husband came over to help me, and I screamed over and over don’t touch me. I grabbed my Xanax and took two. I started to hyperventilate and reached for another Xanax, my husband said no, and my response was quick. At the top of my voice, Fuck you, Fuck you, Fuck you all the way upstairs to my office. I sat in the dark, took another Xanax, and stayed still, soaking in all the pain over again. A short time later, I packed the night away in my box and went to bed only to spend the night away, crying under my breath.
I have experienced many other traumas in life, including being stalked three times, police pulling a gun on me in front of my house and neighbors, and being raped more times than I care to count, yet here I am.
You may be asking yourself why and how can I write this post without a tear? The short answer is I’m a survivor. Buring your trauma in a box is a coping mechanism I learned at birth, it allows you to move forward in life.
I’m raw but crawling, healing my mind and body, and need time to recover. I will not be writing anything traumatic or deep for some time.
Melinda
Just Pondering
Hi, I’m glad you stopped by and I look forward to seeing you soon.
“Learn to light a candle in the darkest moments of someone’s life. Be the light that helps others see; it is what gives joy its deepest significance.”
Melinda
Looking for the Light 