Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Moving Forward

From One Sarcastic Little Shit To Another – Happy Mother’s Day — Guest Invisibly Me

This day can be difficult and painful for many; I don’t want to be insensitive covering Mother’s Day so please feel free to avoid this post if it may be triggering. There are many who don’t have a relationship with their mothers, and those who have traumatic ones. Then there are those who have said […]

via From One Sarcastic Little Shit To Another – Happy Mother’s Day — Invisibly Me

Moving Forward · Travel

Where in the world will you find the most advanced e-government? Estonia. IDEAS​.TED.COM

IDEAS.TED.COM
Mar 15, 2018 /

This tiny republic has the most startups per person and the fastest broadband speeds, and it offers something no other country does: e-residency. Estonia is aiming to create the ideal information society. Technology thinker and entrepreneur Andrew Keen goes there to find out how it works.

The future sometimes appears in the unlikeliest of places. The tiny country on the northeastern edge of Europe known as Estonia — or “E-stonia” as former president Toomas Hendrik Ilves calls it — has the most startups per person, the zippiest broadband speeds, and the most advanced e-government in the world.

Estonia has had the ill fortune to share a border with Russia and a sea with Denmark, Sweden and Germany, regional powers that have all been rather too related to the little Baltic republic. And yet this land of just 28,000 square miles is today — with South Korea, Israel, Singapore and its Scandinavian neighbors — one of the most wired and innovative countries. The government and people of Estonia are trying to invent the ideal information society and figuring out how to live well in cyberspace.

Estonia is the first country in the world to offer “e-residency”: an electronic passport that offers any businessperson the right to use legitimate Estonian legal or accounting online services and digital technologies. With this initiative, the country is disrupting the age-old intimacy between physical territory and citizenship. The e-residency program underwrites online identity by establishing fingerprints, biometrics and a private key on a chip.

“We want to be the Switzerland of the digital world,” says the director of the e-residency program in Estonia.

The goal is to have 10 million e-resident citizens by 2025, almost eight times the number of Estonia’s population of 1.3 million, according to the program’s director, Kaspar Korjus. He wants to create what he calls a “trust economy” for businesspeople around the globe — and a well-lit antithesis to the Dark Web, the digital hell infested with drug and arms dealers, pedophiles and criminals. “We want to be the Switzerland of the digital world,” Korjus says. Estonian Chief Technology Officer Taavi Kotka is more ambitious — we are becoming “the Matrix,” he tells me without smiling.

Given its inconvenient geography, Estonia has always struggled to find physical residents. E-residency creates a platform for a new kind of citizenship, Kotkus says. Not only is Estonia running a government in the cloud, it is also trying to create a country in the cloud: a 21st-century distributed community of people united by networked services rather than by geography.

Practically everything and everyone in Estonia is connected to the Internet: As measured in 2017, 91.4 percent of its citizens are Internet users; 87.9 percent of households have computers; 86.7 percent of Estonians have access to broadband; and 88.4 percent use it regularly. In neighboring Latvia, by contrast, 76 percent of its citizens are Internet users, while in Russia, Estonia’s former colonial ruler, that number is just 71 percent.

The country is planning a national test for digital competency in five areas, including the correct use of netiquette.

The education system has played an important role in this phenomenon. By the late 1990s, a government-backed investment fund was paying for Internet access for all schools, and teaching computer programming skills to kids as young as seven. “It’s like literacy,” one software engineer told me, describing how these skills are viewed in schools. The Estonian educational system has been redesigned to make people more responsible citizens. Schools have obligatory programs in “digital competence.” The country is even planning a national test for digital competency in five areas, including the correct use of netiquette. Education is “two steps ahead of the labor market,” says Kristel Rillo, who runs e-services at the Ministry of Education; he says that kids are turning out to be “two steps ahead of middle-aged workers in learning how to become digital citizens.”

But the most intriguing step in Estonia’s digital development is taking place outside the classroom. The key to its revolution is an identity card system that puts digital identity and trust at the heart of a new social contract. The mandatory electronic ID card, used by more than 95 percent of Estonians, gives everyone a secure online identity and offers a platform for digital citizenship featuring more than 4,000 online services, including voting, paying taxes and online storage of health and police records.

This online ID system is an attempt to “redefine the nature of the country” by getting rid of bureaucracy and reinventing government as a service. So says Andres Kütt, the chief architect of the Estonian Information System Authority. Kütt, a recent MIT graduate and former Skype employee, aims to integrate everyone’s data into a single, easy-to-navigate portal. Estonia wants to smash bureaucratic silos and distribute power down to the citizens so that government comes to them rather than their having to go to the government.

“The old model is broken,” Kütt says. “We are changing the concept of citizenship. This technology creates trust. It’s transparent. All agencies can access this data, but citizens have the right to know if their data has been accessed. In the old world, citizens were dependent on government; in Estonia, we are trying to make government dependent on citizens.”

In Estonia, citizens are empowered to watch the operations of government, and although the government can look at their data, it must notify them when it does so.

The ID system is supposed to be the reverse of Orwell’s Big Brother. In Estonia, citizens are empowered to watch the operations of government, and although the government can look at their data, it must notify them when it does so. Kütt gives me an anecdote of how the system works. He’d driven to a lecture in Tallinn to demonstrate the ID system. When he looked at his data, he saw that a police officer had accessed his information 30 minutes earlier. Following up in his online records, he found that an unmarked police car had followed his car because his license plate was dirty. The police accessed his records, checked his driver’s license, and decided not to stop him. The point of this story, according to Kütt, is to stress the accountability of government in this system. Nothing can be done secretly — the transparency is designed to protect individual rights and compound the trust between citizens and their government.

The most important aspect of the ID system is the creation of trust.Everyone I spoke to in Estonia, from startup entrepreneurs to policy makers to technologists to government ministers, agreed with Kütt on this point. Estonian trust in government is, in fact, much higher than the EU average. A 2014 studyfound that 51 percent of Estonians trust their government, in contrast with the EU average of 29 percent.

There are extremely significant potential consequences of the Estonian government’s entry into the data business. One result might be a new rivalry between sovereign governments and Silicon Valley’s private superpowers. “Governments are realizing that they’re losing the digital identities of their citizens to American companies like Google, Facebook, Amazon and Apple. And they are waking up to the realization that they have a responsibility to protect the privacy of these citizens,” says Linnar Viik, another architect of the ID card and a serial tech entrepreneur dubbed by the press “Estonia’s Mr. Internet.”

Personal data is what’s made these private superpowers so wealthy and powerful. Although the ID system doesn’t stop Estonians from using Facebook or Google, the database is designed as a rival ecosystem, a secure public alternative designed to benefit citizens rather than corporations. One of today’s great challenges is to reinvent the relevance of government in the new digital world, and that’s where the longer-term significance of the ID system may lie, according to Viik. “The government’s role is to protect the privacy of its citizens,” he says. “It’s an extension of public infrastructure, the 21st-century version of the welfare state.”

To some readers, particularly those who cherish their privacy, this ID system and its radical transparency might sound dystopian. But one of the unavoidable consequences of the digital revolution is the massive explosion of personal data on the network. Like it or not, this data is only going to grow exponentially with smart homes, smart cars, smart cities and all the other smart objects driving the Internet of things. We don’t have a choice about any of this. But we do have a choice about the amount of transparency we demand of the governments or corporations that have access to our personal data.

The country’s revolution remains a work in progress, and many ordinary Estonians remain indifferent to a lot of these digital abstractions.

Does this country without borders offer a preview of our 21st-century fate?Stuff may happen there first. Will it happen everywhere else next? Perhaps. The Estonian model comes with three important caveats.

First, it’s important to remember the country’s ahistorical exceptionalism. Like other startup nations such as Israel, Estonia has reinvented itself because of its good fortune in being able to stand outside history. Just as Israel began in 1948 without any legacy institutions or traditions, so the post-1991 Estonian digital revolution occurred because a new generation of technologically literate policy makers and politicians filled the vacuum created by the retreating Soviet bureaucracy.

Second, there is the distinctively unexceptional nature of the Estonian economy. Estonia is a relatively underdeveloped place, especially in comparison with postindustrial economies like the United States or Germany. A tech megabillionaire could buy Estonia outright if he wanted. Its per-capita GDP of around $17,600 is ranked 42nd in the world (above middle-rank economies like Russia and Turkey but a third of Singapore’s $52,900), and the average monthly wage, after taxes, of its workforce of 675,000 is under 1,000 euros. Reports of Estonia as the next Silicon Valley are, to be polite, slightly exaggerated.

The third caveat is separating its appearance from its reality. All the policy makers and legislators with whom I spoke have, in the best Silicon Valley fashion, drunk the Kool-Aid and loudly proclaim the triumph of their “country in a cloud.” But the truth is less triumphant. The revolution remains a work in progress, and many ordinary Estonians remain indifferent to a lot of these digital abstractions.

Nonetheless, Estonia matters because the government is prioritizing what Ilves calls “data integrity.” This prim-sounding issue will surely come to dominate conversations about 21st-century politics. What the republic on the northwestern edge of Russia can do is offer an alternate model of a transparent, open and fair political system, one that is the antithesis of the monstrous purveyor of untruth that’s emerging on its eastern border. One that prioritizes trust and is built upon the integrity of data. One, above all, that makes all of us accountable for our online behavior.

Excerpted from the new book How to Fix the Future by Andrew Keen. Published by Atlantic Monthly Press, an imprint of Grove Atlantic. Copyright © 2018 by Andrew Keen.

Watch Andrew Keen’s talks from TEDxBerlin and TEDxDanubia:

 

Moving Forward

Sorry to bother you, but do you say “sorry” too much? What to say instead IDEAS.TED.COM

IDEAS.TED.COM

Mar 11, 2019 /

When we needlessly apologize, we end up making ourselves small and diminish what we’re trying to express, says sociologist Maja Jovanovic.

This post is part of TED’s “How to Be a Better Human” series, each of which contains a piece of helpful advice from someone in the TED community. To see all the posts, go here.

Think about all the times you use the word “sorry” in a typical day. There are the necessary “sorry”s — when you bump into someone, when you need to cancel plans with a friend. But what about the unnecessary “sorry”s? The “sorry, this may be an obvious idea” at a meeting, the “sorry to cause trouble” when rescheduling a haircut, the “sorry, there’s a spill in the dairy aisle” at the supermarket.

Canadian sociologist Maja Jovanovic believes the “sorry”s we sprinkle through our days hurt us. They make us appear smaller and more timid than we really are, and they can undercut our confidence.

Jovanovic, who teaches at McMaster University and Mohawk College in Hamilton, Ontario, became interested in this topic when she attended a conference four years ago. The four women on a panel were, she says, “experts in their chosen fields. Among them, they had published hundreds of academic articles, dozens of books. All they had to do was introduce themselves. The first woman takes a microphone and she goes, ‘I don’t know what I could possibly add to this discussion’ … The second woman takes the microphone and says, ‘Oh my gosh, I thought they sent the email to the wrong person. I’m just so humbled to be here.’” The third and fourth women did the same thing.

During the 25 panels at that week-long conference, recalls Jovanovic, “not once did I hear a man take that microphone and discount his accomplishments or minimize his experience. Yet every single time a woman took a microphone, an apologetic tone was sure to follow.” She adds, “I found it enraging; I also found it heartbreaking.”

Jovanovic found the outside world not so different: “Apologies have become our habitual way of communicating,” she says. Since then, she’s collected needless apologies from her colleagues and students. One stand-out? “My research assistant said ‘Sorry’ to the pizza delivery guy for his being late to her house,” says Jovanovic. “She said, ‘Oh my gosh, we live in a new subdevelopment. I’m so sorry. Did you have trouble finding this place?’”

We can eliminate the “sorry”s from our sentences — and still be considerate. “The next time you bump into someone,” Jovanovic says, “you could say, ‘Go ahead,’ ‘After you’ or ‘Pardon me.’” Similarly, during a meeting, Jovanovic says, “instead of saying, ‘Sorry to interrupt you,’ why not try ‘How about,’ ‘I have an idea,’ ‘I’d like to add’ or ‘Why don’t we try this?’” The idea is to be polite while not minimizing yourself.

The “sorry”s that fill our written interactions also need to be noticed — and banished. For emails, Jovanovic says, “There’s a Google Chrome plug-in called ‘just not sorry’ that will alert you to all the needless apologies.” With texts, she points out, “Every single one of us has responded to a text you got when you weren’t able to respond right away. What did you say? ‘Sorry.’” She says, “Don’t apologize — say, ‘I was working,’ ‘I was reading,’ ‘I was driving, ‘I was trying to put on Spanx.’ Whatever it is, it’s all good. You don’t have to apologize.”

And, in some of the instances when we’d typically throw in a “sorry,” we could just use the two magic words: “thank you.”

Jovanovic tells of the moment when she realized the effectiveness of gratitude. She says, “Four of us were at a restaurant for a work meeting, and we’re waiting for number five to arrive … I put my sociological cap on, and I thought, ‘What would he say? How many apologies will he give?’ I could barely stand the anticipation. He arrives at the restaurant, and you know what he says? ‘Hey, thanks for waiting.’ … The rest of us said, “Yeah, you’re welcome,” and we all just opened our menus and ordered. Life went on, and everything was fine.”

Another time when “thank you” can work better than “sorry”? When you’re with a friend and you realize you’ve been doing all the talking. Jovanovic says, “instead of saying, ‘Sorry for complaining’ or ‘Sorry for venting,’ you could just say, ‘Thank you for listening,’ ‘Thank you for being there’ or ‘Thank you for being my friend.’”

Besides removing them from our own communications, we should tell other people when they’re overdoing their “sorry”s, suggests Jovanovic.You can start with your family and friends — and if you’d like, go beyond them. She says, “I have been interrupting these apologies for three years now. I’ll do it everywhere. I’ll do it in the parking lot, I’ll do it to total strangers at the grocery store, in line somewhere. One hundred percent of the time when I interrupt another woman and I say, ‘Why did you just say ‘sorry’ for that?’ she’ll say to me, ‘I don’t know.’”

Watch her TEDxTrinityBellwoodsWomen talk here:

Moving Forward

Lynn Nanos Guest Post: Revolving Door of the Mental Health System — Kitt O’Malley

Thank you, Lynn Nanos, LICSW, author of Breakdown: A Clinician’s Experience in a Broken System of Emergency Psychiatry, for this guest post. As a mobile emergency psychiatric social worker in Massachusetts, I evaluate many patients who have learned that getting psychiatrically hospitalized is more likely when they don’t take their medication and attend psychotherapy sessions. […]

via Lynn Nanos Guest Post: Revolving Door of the Mental Health System — Kitt O’Malley

Moving Forward

Let’s celebrate boys for their strengths, not their size — *ideas.ted.com*

We need to teach the boys in our lives that bigger is not better and that their character matters more than their muscles, says rapper and poet Meta Sarmiento.

via Let’s celebrate boys for their strengths, not their size — ideas.ted.com

Moving Forward

What would you do if you could play hooky for a day? — *ideas.ted.com*

This 4-question quiz can help you identify the specific things that could make you happier right now, says writer Sam Horn. Just pick up a pen and paper.

via What would you do if you could play hooky for a day? — ideas.ted.com

Moving Forward

How did the chicken reach the great idea? She borrowed The Onion’s techniques for brainstorming — ideas.ted.com

Brainstorms can result in a lot of sound and fury — shouted ideas, whiteboards covered with scribbles — but not much else. Here’s how The Onion sets up sharing for success, from designer and ex-Onion staffer Brian Janosch.

via How did the chicken reach the great idea? She borrowed The Onion’s techniques for brainstorming — ideas.ted.com

Moving Forward

Weighted Blanks for Mental Health — The Psych Talk

A weighted blanket is a blanket filled with hypoallergenic, non-toxic polypropylene pellets. The pellets are sewn into self-contained small pockets that are evenly distributed throughout the blanket. These pellets give the blanket its weight, which should generally be around 10 percent of the user’s body weight, give or take a few pounds depending on the […]

Weighted Blanks for Mental Health — The Psych Talk
Men & Womens Health · Moving Forward

Thoughts Job Hunting: Working Temporary

I started as a Recruiter in 1982 placing employees in light industrial jobs. My clients hired, warehouse workers, packing, anything in the warehouse that didn’t require heavy lifting or above a certain OSHA rating. It was a tough job, we had people not get their time card in on time and want to kick my ass, more than once. We had clients who discriminated, I wasn’t allowed to work those accounts, thank goodness. I worked with light industrial workers until my career developed. I moved to clerical then to information technology.

The reason I mention OSHA is the more dangerous the job the higher the number on the OSHA scale and the higher the Workers Compensation tax is. OSHA is a governing body where all job injuries are reported to with the proper forms and detailed information of incident. If you start a warehouse job unloading trucks and get moved to work on machinery there is a higher risk of getting hurt. The first thing to do is call you Recruiter and let them know of the change. First of all, if the client wants to move you there may be a monetary increase involved. Don’t approach the client, rule number one.

Let the temporary company get the details of the job move, find out if your interested and comes to the terms. There were many clients who would move people into more difficult jobs hoping to not get caught and pay a higher billing rate.

The most important point of working temporary whatever your skill set is you are now on the inside. Buckle down, do your job, ask for a project if you’re not staying busy and you have a much higher chance of being offered a permanent job when one is open. Many of my clients use temporary workers to get a look at their work ethic before hiring full-time. Don’t be arrogant and think temporary jobs are beneath you.

Every assignment is a new contact, new people to work with who know what’s going on. Don’t openly talk about getting hired, ask after you’ve been there for a month if the employer hires temporaries from time to time. Let them do the talking.

I fired more people for walking in the door acting like working temporary was beneath them and when could they expect to get hired. With that attitude you will not get hired.

Many company’s are cyclical, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Spring, Summer vacations, temporary work is going on year round and has several large blips during the year. Maybe you want to pick up a temporary job for a month to pay for Christmas, what a great way to make extra money without making a long term commitment.

One very important part of my job was to know the client, tour their facility, look at the jobs temporaries worked and write good job descriptions. If you feel your job description doesn’t fit, call your Recruiter.

In 2019 employment is the lowest in 50 years, what that means is employers have lots of choices, don’t have to get in a hurry and have the cream of the crop. These numbers may be intimidating but temporary employment goes on thru all economy’s.

Melinda

Moving Forward

What’s a nursing home combined with a childcare center? A hopeful model for the future of aging — ideas.ted.com

Imagine a place for the elderly that’s also filled with the sounds of children playing. Marc Freedman goes to Singapore to investigate a new model for intergenerational living.

via What’s a nursing home combined with a childcare center? A hopeful model for the future of aging — ideas.ted.com

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Moving Forward

Thoughts on Job Hunting

For many Spring Break is time to job hunt before the next school year starts. I worked in the Recruiting/Consulting/Staffing business for 30 years. I wanted to share some lessons that helped me and got me fired twice.

Drawing the Line

It can be difficult to draw the work/friend line for extroverted people, you may think your new lunch mates are your friends. They are not your friends, they are people you don’t know and can’t trust. Don’t get become a pawn at any level. 

Honest

If you make a mistake be the first to bring it to light, there are no secrets. If you don’t own up to the error, the story can get blown out of proportion and you can’t crawl out. 

Once example early in my career, I was 21, owned a house and lived penny to penny. The VP of the company was coming to town to ensure everyone had read the new Employment Manual. The manual was given to me two hours before she arrived and my boss strongly recommended I say I’ve read the manual. I knew I would get fired if I told the truth and my life would get very difficult.

When the VP asked me if I’d read the manual, I said the manual was given to me this morning and I’m on chapter x. She probably didn’t know I was fired, being the low man on the pole. I’m no do-gooder or high on morals but I cared more about the truth in this case. My boss wasn’t going to push me. Luckily, I was hired by the business next door the same day. Politics suck and when your new is the time people target you. 

Professionalism

Always drive to the site before the interview. Have an alternate route if the weather might be an issue. More important than arriving 10 minutes early is doing your homework.

What does the company do, how long have they been in business, look at their website to see the stated corporate mission. Are they moving in the direction you want to go? Know what their key product or services are. You can find this information in the Annual Report if a public company.

Have solid questions, why is the position available, what is growth potential, what is their responsibilities. Ask them to draw you an overview of the departments they manage. Be sure to ask about their career growth and what is most important in the position.

Do not talk dollars, ask How is the package set up? Is there travel involved? When & if use your knowledge of the company to drop a line to let them know you did your homework. 

Dress Code

Always dress for the next job you want. Dress conservative, comfortable and not tight or constricting. Women should wear light make-up unless the interview is for a cosmetic company. Wear comfortable heels, no four-inch heels. One great way to see the companies dress code is to go by at close of business. 

Dress Code is always relative to the job, if working in the warehouse you don’t wear a dress. Men should wear a jacket at a minimum unless the job doesn’t require one. I always gave a candidate who came to interview in sport coat extra points. It can indicate they are eager to advance their career. 

Don’t wear an outfit you have not tried on, that will start your day in a panic. 

Do Not Gossip

Gossip is disruptive, looked at as distrust and immature. Remove yourself from the toxic conversation or toxic people. 

Do Not Go Over Bosses Head

No matter how bad, unethical your boss is don’t go over their head unless you want to get fired. A mistake I made and was fired for. 

Don’t run your personal business from work. 

Don’t spend time texting, using company copy paper or taking office supplies home. If you have time to chat on the phone or text your neglecting work. We all have the occasion to make a doctor’s appointment or send a text, if you are habitual expect to be fired. 

I am hardcore when it comes to getting a job and keeping a job. I’ve been told many times I expect too much and can’t be pleased. That may be true, I take it as a compliment because I’m driving the process not lagging behind. 

Good Luck!

Melinda

 

Moving Forward

Moonshine

Thanks friend for the reblog. Hugs.

TheFeatheredSleep's avatarTheFeatheredSleep

(inspired by finding an old photograph of a fancy-dress party I attended at University that I hadn’t seen in years)

One of them is me

but which holds the key? Later perhaps we

shall know our fruiting journey through

maze of youth

and slow pull of stocking

for kind of touch best found

in satiny afternoon glow

outside I hear my dim-eyed neighbor

mowing lawns until he aches silver

because his wife has turned away

nobody touches him anymore with

the dreams of yesteryear

so we sprint toward each

invisible finish line

with emptiness in our hearts

filled with busy distraction

nothing lasting, nothing to

endure or sate cold claim

of climbing into bed

unwanted or alone

the feel of darkness, our shroud

from terrible disappointment

and then

then I had it all and didn’t know

standing on the precipice

we laughed at our indomitable

facility to thrive

not yet…

View original post 294 more words

Moving Forward

On This Day In History March 7th

 

1876

Following the development of his prototype ‘harmonic telegraph’ device, Scotland-born Alexander Graham Bell receives a US patent on a revolutionary new form of instantaneous communication, the telephone.

 

1965

Marching for civil rights for African Americans, hundreds of unarmed and peaceful protesters cross the Edmund Pettus Bridge in Selma, Alabama, and are set upon by state troopers wielding billy clubs and tear gas. Public disgust at the incident will help galvanize support for passage of the Voting Rights Act.

2010

 

Kathryn Bigelow becomes the first female director to win an Oscar

On this day in 2010, Kathryn Bigelow becomes the first woman to win an Academy Award for best director, for her movie “The Hurt Locker,” about an American bomb squad that disables explosives in Iraq in 2004. Prior to Bigelow, only three women had been nominated for a best director Oscar: Lina Wertmueller for 1975’s “Seven Beauties,” Jane Campion for 1993’s “The Piano” and Sofia Coppola for 2003’s “Lost in Translation.”

 

1988

Writers Guild of America strike begins

After rejecting what the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers (AMPTP) said was a final offer, representatives of the Writers Guild of America (WGA) called a strike for all the union’s members to begin at 9 a.m. Pacific Time on this day in 1988.

 

BIRTHDAYS

1896 Philip Showalter Hench, American physician (Nobel Prize 1950 for cortisone), born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania (d. 1965)

1906 Benjamin “Bugsy” Siegel, American gangster who created casinos in Las Vegas, born in Brooklyn, New York (d. 1947)

 

1915 Samuel Joel “Zero” Mostel, American comedian and actor (Fiddler on the Roof, The Producers), born in Brooklyn, New York (d. 1977)

 

1929 Frank O Gehry, architect (Galleria-Oklahoma City)

 

1940 Mario Andretti, Italian American race-car driver (1969 Indianapolis 500, 1978 Formula One World Champion), born in Montona, Italy

 

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Moving Forward

5 Things I Wish I’d Known Before My Chronic Illness

New York Times

By Tessa Miller  Feburary 18, 2019

 

Finding out you have a chronic illness — one that will, by definition, never go away — changes things, both for you and those you love.

Seven Thanksgivings ago, I got sick and I never got better.

What I thought was food poisoning turned out to be Crohn’s disease, a form of inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) that doesn’t have a cure. It fools my immune system into attacking my digestive system, resulting in what I can only describe as the attempted birth of my intestines through my butthole. It’s a cruel and often debilitating disease.

Since that first hospital stay, I’ve had colonoscopies, biopsies, CT scans, X-rays, blood and stool tests, enemas, suppositories, rectal foams, antiemetics, antidiarrheals, antivirals, antibiotics, anti-inflammatories, opiates, steroids, immunoglobulin, biologics and three fecal transplants (if you want to hear a story about my 9-year-old poop donor and a blender, find me on Twitter).

My disease is managed now thanks to an expensive drug called infliximab, but the future is unpredictable. IBD works in patterns of flares and remissions, and little is known about what causes either.

When I was diagnosed, I didn’t know how much my life would change. There’s no conversation about that foggy space between the common cold and terminal cancer, where illness won’t go away but won’t kill you, so none of us know what “chronic illness” means until we’re thrown into being sick forever.

When an illness that the doctors can’t cure becomes part of our life, all the rules seem to change,” said Paul K. Chafetz, Ph.D., a psychologist in Dallas. “It’s scary in a dozen ways.” I’ve learned countless lessons since the early days of my illness, but here are five I wish I’d known from the start.

Chronic illness patients not only face painful physical symptoms, but also mental ones that linger even when the disease is well controlled. “There is trauma related to certain aspects of illness or treatment, and fear of outcomes like death or disability,” said Matt Lundquist, LCSW, a psychotherapist in New York. “For many people, there are financial uncertainties of paying for medical care.” Plus, there’s anxiety over loss of autonomy and control, he said.

Chronic illness also increases the risk of depression, Mr. Chafetz said, citing a 2007 World Health Organization survey that found a higher likelihood of depressive episodes among those with chronic health conditions than without.

A therapist should be considered a crucial part of your care team, just as important as a gastroenterologist or cardiologist. “A provider who has experience working with chronic illness is key,” Mr. Lundquist said. “It’s a population whose mental health struggles can be misunderstood.” If you’re homebound, some mental health professionals will do home visits, Skype or phone appointments, or you can connect with one through apps like TalkSpace and BetterHelp.

[Please note, if you’re feeling helpless or suicidal, the Suicide Prevention Hotline is available 24/7 at 1-800-273-8255. You can find a list of additional resources at SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources.]

 

Moving Forward

Iditarod 2019 — MyLifeasaPhotographer

Saturday, March 2 was the 111th Iditarod held in Anchorage Alaska. Well, the opening ceremony that is; all the racers assemble in downtown Anchorage for the opening ceremony and then one-by-one mush to the airport where the dogs get put away until Sunday where the race officially starts in Willow AK. This year was an […]

via Iditarod 2019 — MyLifeasaPhotographer

Moving Forward

What is Agoraphobia? — The Psych Talk

Agoraphobia is a very complex phobia usually manifesting itself as a collection of inter-linked conditions. For example many agoraphobics also fear being left alone (monophobia), dislike being in any situation where they feel trapped (exhibiting claustrophobia type tendencies) and fear travelling away from their ‘safe’ place, usually the home. Signs and Symptoms: Typical agoraphobia symptoms […]

via What is Agoraphobia? — The Psych Talk

Moving Forward

# Face the truth with pleasure! — My experience

Accepting the truth is not always easy. But when you have the courage to see the truth and adopt it, then life becomes very easy.What happened if there is a bad phase at this time? What if the time is not giving up? What if the other are going ahead? Instead of being distracted by […]

via # Face the truth with pleasure! — My experience

Moving Forward

How to Stop Being Irritable — The Psych Talk

Everyone experiences irritability at some point in their lives but for some people, it can become problematic and affect their relationships and personal well-being. In this case, there are many things you can do in order to reduce your levels of irritability and have more productive encounters with others. Avoid triggers and Change Environments: Removing […]

via How to Stop Being Irritable — The Psych Talk

Celebrate Life · Fun · Moving Forward

Stream of Consciousness Saturday Prompt “Critic/(cal).” #SoCS

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “critic(al).” Use it any way you’d like. Have fun!

At the height of my career as a Sales Executive, I was critical of everyone who didn’t do the agreed process. In the Consulting business processes are important, if a Recruiter sent an unqualified consultant to my client, I had to fire the employee and walk them off the job-site. I was forever critical until realizing work wasn’t everything and the sun will come out soon.   M   

 


Join us for the fun and sharing good media stories  

For more on the Stream of Consciousness Saturday, visit Linda Hill’s blog. Here’s the link:
Here are the rules for SoCS:
1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.
2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.
3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.
4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours. Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.
5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.
6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!
7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.
8. Have fun!

 

 

Moving Forward

Finally, something that ACTUALLY works for my Fibro and RLS pain!!! — Fighting With Fibro

Finally, a product that actually works for my Fibro and RLS pain

via Finally, something that ACTUALLY works for my Fibro and RLS pain!!! — Fighting With Fibro

Moving Forward

Is Your Perfume Poisoning You? — Talk Health With Alex

I’m a perfume wearer and I’ll definitely tell you that it smells good but the million dollar question is “Is it Toxic?” Perfumes tend to draw on essential oils in their formulations, but also include a number of chemicals (many known and probable carcinogens) that can outrightly cause a lot of health hazards. Fragrance is […]

via Is Your Perfume Poisoning You? — Talk Health With Alex

Moving Forward

5 top mental health podcasts for 2019

Beth's avatarMy Anxiety Matters

So, I’m a big fan of my headphones. I’m a big fan of tuning in and tuning out. I love my music but sometimes I get bored. As I was going through my bored stage, I went looking for something new to whet my appetite and keep me occupied on the bus to work or walking at lunchtime.

As you can probably tell, I have a passion for and interest in mental health which is why I got onto iTunes and went searching for the perfect podcast. And there are hundreds out there. If you were thinking of making the jump from music to moments of wisdom and knowledge, check out the podcasts below. The subjects are interesting and I’ve found some really great snippets of mental health advice lurking in them.

CTRL ALT DELETE (Emma Gannon)

Ctrl Alt Delete (Photo credit - Emma Gannon)
Ctrl Alt Delete (Photo credit – Emma Gannon)

If you haven’t heard of…

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Moving Forward

Prisoner of Destiny — Life in a Muslim Household

They say, A silence can speak a thousand words but you need to have ears to hear it. There are times when you wish you could spill out all that’s buried deep inside you for years but then again you are struck by the reality that’s its better kept hidden. I don’t get why we […]

via Prisoner of Destiny — Life in a Muslim Household