Thank you for being apart of our journey. Melinda

Watching her struggle was like hearing about any blogger suffer. I don’t know her or you but do know the pain of Lyme Diseases. She wrote such a beautiful song for a never-ending battle, life changing, everyday hoping to survive. There were days when drowning sound much easier, I overjoyed to be alive. Thank you for all the support over that past five years.  M

I appreciate any insight or feedback. Thank you.
Melinda

I am having trouble getting comfortable with this theme. The post run together on front page, the header selections don’t seem to fit, the background color looks dull. Why can’t I find a bright white background? Do I need to learn the programming codes to accomplish that?

Do I have to many widgets making the page to busy? Anything that comes to mind will help.

My goal is to have a welcoming and comfortable site, comfortable on the eyes for reading and ease moving around site.

I appreciate any feedback no matter how bad, not mean, honest feedback. I just can’t settle into this one.

M

 

“Great Beauty, Great Strength and Great Riches Are Really And

Truly Of No Great Use; A RIGHT HEART EXCEEDS ALL.”

Benjamin Franklin

Poor Richards Almanac

The most damaging story was my father raped her, she had to marry him. One day my father and I had a big fight, in anger I blurted out what she said. The truth was on his devastated face. My father was a bastard but he went to his grave without saying one negative word about my mother. 

It’s sad when a parent focuses on turning a child against the other, not thinking about what the child needs. One of the hardest times in a child’s life and all the energy is faulting the other parent, sad.  M

Clint Edwards

http://www.scarymommy.com

Parental alienation is a hot topic right now, particularly among separated or divorced parents, but there are a lot of misconceptions of what it actually is.

In fact, if you ask Christine Hammond, MS, LMHC, she says, “There is hardly a day that doesn’t go by in my counseling practice where someone brings up the concept of parental alienation.” However, according to her, the term is often misused.

According to Hammond, “Parental alienation occurs when one parent encourages their child to unfairly reject the other parent.” Now, this might seem pretty clear-cut, but it’s actually far more complicated than one parent asking their child who’s their favorite: mom or dad? And it can result is some pretty nasty side effects, such as unwarranted fear, hostility, and/or disrespect toward one parent while displaying signs of loyalty, unconditional trust, and/or empathy toward the other.

Parental alienation boils down into three categories:

First, there is naïve alienation.

This is when one parent tries to alienate the child from the other parent through passive-aggressive comments. For instance, when my mother would say, “Your dad makes more money than me, so he can buy you a bike.” While this was probably true, I was only 10, and her comments caused a rift between me and my father when he didn’t buy me a bike.

While this all seems pretty subtle, passive-aggressive comments towards the other parent can add up and create long-term problems. Other examples could be a parent saying something like, “Your father doesn’t work, so she can attend your parent teacher conference. He obviously has the time.” Or “I bet your mother could help with that. She studied English and needs to use it for something.”

The second category is active alienation.

This is when one parent actively tries to alienate one parent by creating feelings of loyalty. For example, one parent might try to get their child to keep secrets from the other. Like when I discovered that my father was writing child support checks, making copies to use in court, and then throwing the checks away without sending them to my mother. He asked me to keep that a secret. I was 11, and felt that I owed it to him to keep quiet (yes, my father was a sleaze-bag, but that’s another essay).

Now, according to Hammond, what my father did by asking me to keep his secret was create a “private bond from which the child learns to withhold parts of their life from the other parent.” Not a good way to raise a child, right? Continue reading “I Was The Victim Of Parental Alienation, And This Is What It’s Like” →

I stand watching the darkness settle in. The black dog comes to torture me. Emotions, negative feelings left behind are brought out like dolls in a toy box. 

I fight, fight hard not to fall in the abyss. Mask are taken out of their resting place, the mask are for me, which one will I need today. Lies and hurtful memories are resolved or locked away, march before me as if yesterday.

Fighting the darkness med change after med change is paralyzing me. How does my husband stay, never knowing the outcome of each day. The uncertainty of mental illness disrupts every one, every day.

I believe God has a plan, I’m on a journey with no road map. I trust the tools learned over thirty-five years. This to shall pass, not fast enough, never fast enough. 

There is a light ahead I can not see, trusting it will come back to me. When the darkness lifts my mind looks for a positive. What is positive about the pain and darkness engulfing me. 

The survivor in me knows the light is there, the darkness will lift. I push and push trying to get loose of the anchor holding me down. What others think means nothing to me, I’m fighting my own battle, a battle they can not see.

As the sound of birds return and squirrels play chase, I see sunshine once again. 

Melinda