89% Of Blind Riders Are Being Denied A Ride By Lyft And Uber

August 31, 2024September 3, 2024 Looking for the Light21 Comments

I could not believe it when I heard on the national news that 89% of blind riders were being denied a ride by Lift and Uber. This looks like a driver issue with the service dogs and not wanting them in the vehicle. This behavior is against the law not to mention the company’s policies. The riders have a way to report a driver but those interviewed said nothing happened. One woman even recorded a driver refusing her a ride after she had already reported this behavior to Lyft. Rideshare companies are condoning this behavior and are accountable for the driver’s decisions. I’m sure there is a loophole in there that needs closing.

This type of behavior and failure to accommodate the blind is a Class Action lawsuit that is way overdue. I’m shocked no one has sued the companies for breaking the law and doing nothing when its customers report a driver. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one to say jump on a lawsuit, quite the opposite but this is not a frivolous issue. If the ride-share companies refuse blind riders they need to lose any government contracts they may have and if cities have a choice to allow the rideshare company to do business in the city, they need to reverse the approval.

I know a few people who are blind and life is challenging enough and for their transportation to refuse them a ride is shameful. Apparently, it’s been happening for years but it’s not been in the media which is typical for the media, just feed us the same day after day instead of pressing the important issues.

I feel so strongly about the issue that I created a Change.org petition that I hope you will support by going to https://www.change.org/p/require-rideshare-services-to-accept-blind-riders-with-guide-dogs/share_for_starters?just_created=true and signing.

Copy of Petition

This petition is deeply personal because it strikes at the heart of disability discrimination, a struggle that blind individuals face daily. It’s both shocking and disheartening when a company that provides a critical service like transportation discriminates against individuals with disabilities, specifically those who rely on guide dogs. According to the American Foundation for the Blind, millions of people in the US are experiencing vision loss. And many of them, depend on guide dogs to navigate and live independently.

However, troubling instances have surfaced where these individuals are refused service by rideshare companies simply because of their guide dogs. This is not only inconvenient but also unlawful – the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) prohibits discrimination against individuals with disabilities in all areas of public life, and that includes transportation.

Apart from being illegal, such practices are inhumane and show a complete disregard for the rights and dignity of people living with disabilities. Furthermore, it contradicts the spirit of rideshare services which aim to provide convenient and accessible transportation for everyone. All this considered, it’s high time for all rideshare companies to commit to full accommodation for blind riders with guide dogs.

We cannot allow this blatant discrimination to continue. Together, we can change this. Please sign this petition to send a strong message across: Require Rideshare Services to Accept Blind Riders with Guide Dogs.

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Require Rideshare Services to Accept Blind Riders with Guide Dogs

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Share this petition in person or use the QR code for your own material.

My husband told me that once he signed the petition Change.org asked for a donation, a donation is not required. Change.org is a global organization that is free and as such they solicit donations. This is common but you are never required to donate or I would not work with them.

Melinda

Chronic Illness · Communicating · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Trauma

National Grief Awareness Day August 30

August 25, 2024 Looking for the Light5 Comments

Grief has touched millions of lives at one point or another and many have grieved several times. I know grief well, two of my close friends in high school died, my father died in 1992, my Granny died in 2005 and my Gramp’s in 2010. Everyone grieves differently and there is no time frame regardless of what people say. Who would tell a parent how long to grieve for their child, I would pray that no one is that uneducated. My father commited suicide and I spent seven years grieving yet as much as I loved my Grandparents and as close as we were, I grieved less. Maybe it was because I was a caregiver to both.

The key to grieving is giving yourself the time you need yet not get stuck there. We all have to move forward.

What Is National Grieving Awareness Day About?

This National Grief Awareness Day on August 30 is dedicated to raising awareness of the myriad ways in which individuals cope with loss. It offers resources to those going through personal losses and reminds us to support people we know who are grieving. National Grief Awareness Day, founded by Angie Cartwright in 2014, hopes to encourage open communication on loss and bereavement and better inform the public on the facts of grief.

Grief is one of the oldest and most enduring aspects of the human experience. If you haven’t yet experienced grief, it’s unfortunately likely to happen. The term ‘grief’ encompasses all of the emotions around a loss, and ‘mourning’ is defined as the external expression of the pain. ‘Bereavement’ is another commonly-used term for grief. Throughout human history, there have been many attempts to describe and heal grief, and they have changed significantly over the years.

Due in part to our vastly improved physical and mental healthcare, grief is understood far differently today than even as little as 100 years ago. While we often have the privilege (for some, even the expectation) of only losing our loved ones when they are at a ripe old age, comfortable, and with family nearby, this has rarely been the case throughout history. The lack of modern transportation often separated loved ones, wars ravaged populations, and poor medical and sanitation knowledge led to too many untimely deaths. Throughout history, the deaths of loved ones have been far more common, and grief was understood differently.

Melinda

References:

National Grief Awareness Day

Celebrate Life · Communicating · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Survivor · Trauma

July Newsletter – “The Lighthouse” Edition

August 4, 2024 Looking for the Light3 Comments

This week, we proudly launched “The Lighthouse,” a new, comprehensive guide for survivors-victims of domestic and sexual violence and their loved ones. It includes in-depth information to recognize all forms of domestic and sexual violence; find counseling services, legal aid, and other resources; and get inspiration to light the way toward a brighter future.

“The Lighthouse” was inspired by Karoline Starostik. She has shown tremendous courage in speaking out and tremendous generosity in wanting to create the guide to help other survivors who may be in need of support.

Several victims and survivors of domestic and sexual violence helped to name the guide, and their voices are included throughout it. We are beyond grateful to Karoline and everyone who shared their experience and are helping to empower countless others.

The guide also highlights and includes links to resources from several of our partners and allies. We thank these and all the amazing organizations who work tirelessly to support victim-survivors of domestic and sexual violence in communities across the U.S.

This guide is for you, for your friend, your neighbor, your colleague. It’s for everyone who needs to know if they are, or someone they know is, being abused. And if they are, where and how to get help as safely as possible. It’s intended to light the way towards empowerment, resilience, and healing for those who have endured the unimaginable.

Together, let’s continue to strive to create a world with no abuse. Until then, we will work to enable the voices of survivors to be heard, their experiences acknowledged, and their journey toward recovery illuminated for others to follow.

Download Your Free Copy of “The Lighthouse”

Be sure to check out the wealth of resources No More has available.

Melinda

Art · Celebrate Life · Fun · Self-Care · Trauma · Travel

A Favorite Piece Of Art By Andy Warhol

July 28, 2024 Looking for the Light10 Comments

Even though I have paperwork on this piece I can’t say for certain that is a Lithograph because there is not a number on it and there should be. I purchased it in 2014 because the piece spoke volumes to me. My mother always told me I was stupid growing up even though I knew it wasn’t true. It was more of her mental torture. When I saw this piece I had to buy it. A young girl with good grades at school and getting a goodies bag for and being called So Sweet. It was a sweet revenge for me. It hangs in my office and I get great satisfaction looking at it daily. If it is real, that’s a bonus.

Do you have a favorite piece that calms your inner demons?

Melinda

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Illness · Moving Forward · Survivor · Trauma

Health Update July 2024

July 9, 2024 Looking for the Light34 Comments

So much has happened since I did the last Health Update in 2023. I have to say that I’m feeling much better since my Psychiatrist stopped my Prozac and started me on Trintellex. It wasn’t something he suggested but after talking to my Therapist who has several patients on it, I requested he call it in. July 4th was the efficacy date but I started to feel so much better long before. It does have nausea and vomiting as common side effects and I did experience them but felt comfortable they would pass and they did. I feel better mentally than I have in over 5 years and I’m taking it all in.

I’ve been working in the yard, on my outdoor and indoor plants, and cleaning the house the right way, the way my Grandparents taught me. I started on a project and cleaned around the area until I wore out. It feels so good to do the job right and not half-assed.

I’ve bought many new indoor plants and have enjoyed repotting them. I even bought a Bonsia to try my hand at and have finally mastered succulents.

I also bought a new larger bird feeding station and a squirrel feeder. The squirrels are enjoying the corn cobs and staying away from the other feeders. Now I get to see birds of all types enjoying the feeders which makes my day.

My eye doctor’s appointment was way overdue and my readers weren’t cutting it so I now have a new pair of glasses that specifically address my nearsightedness.

On the more difficult side, many of you know I had a nervous breakdown after watching a series about gang violence and the trafficking of women. I had watched the two prior seasons without a problem but season three was brutal. When the woman who had been trafficked had nowhere to go, she went back to the man who broke her. I lost it, my husband had never seen that side of me. It was followed by severe nightmares and I had a PTSD meltdown, it was very disturbing and the nightmares have continued just not every night. It also brought up several triggered memories that I had forgotten about. Luckily the memories didn’t bring up pain and were passing thoughts.

I’ve recently written about my trip to the ER thinking I was having a stroke. Luckily it wasn’t, it turned out to be my Esophagus issues getting inflamed and the pain and spasms were in the sternum area which is why it felt like it was my heart. My Gastroenterologist has added a new medical that is working. I was not taking my Protonix every day because my Neurologist put the fear of God in me about the drug. I know better than to listen to another doctor, the way to stay healthy is to discuss any questions with the doctor who prescribed the medication. I would never let another doctor mess with my medication for my Bipolar Disorder but like I said we put the fear of God in my on what the long-term effects would cause me.

This is a good lesson because many medications are not meant for long-term use however that doesn’t mean you fall into that category. As my Gastroenterologist said it is about quality of life. I found out the effect on my life and all the pain and vomiting caused by not taking my Protonix properly and I won’t go down that road again.

I’m still seeing my worthless Psychiatrist and after my appointment this week I plan to change doctors. In the DFW area Psychiatrist, frown on anyone who changes doctors regardless of the reason and that is why I’ve stayed for a year. I saw my previous Psychiatrist for 32 years and that should speak for itself. I have a highly respected doctor in mind, just haven’t made contact with him. That is why I plan to ask my current doctor to schedule our next appointment four months out and that will give me time to get set up with the new doctor.

That’s the highlights and lowlights of my health over the past year.

Here’s to staying healthy.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Moving Forward · Survivor · Trauma

Dating Violence, Stabbed 32 Times and Survives

July 2, 2024 Looking for the Light10 Comments

By MELISSA DOHME CBS NEWS May 30, 2014, 2:15 PM

48 Hours: Dating violence survivor tells story

My name is Melissa Dohme. I am twenty-two years old and I live in Clearwater, Florida. On January 24, 2012, I found myself surrounded with family, covered in bandages, connected to machines, with tubes down my throat, praying and thanking God for saving my life. Hours before this moment I was lying alone in the road outside my home, covered in blood, taking what I thought would be my last breath. I had just been viciously attacked, beaten, and stabbed 32 times. How could this happen?

Looking back three years prior, I remember the exact moment I met this extremely charming, sweet, and funny guy named Robert Burton. When we started dating, everything was perfect, but as I prepared for my high school graduation, things began to change. Robert became extremely jealous, controlling, and short-tempered. I was going through verbal and emotional abuse throughout our two-year relationship without knowing it was abuse. The violence turned physical in the last few months, and by then I felt completely trapped. He would tell me if I was to leave or tell anyone about the abuse, he would kill me, my family, and himself. He began attempting suicide to scare me, but would stop and threaten me with weapons to prove he was serious.

One night, I had the opportunity, courage, and strength to run away and call the police–and finally, Robert was arrested for domestic battery. I felt my shackles of shame and fear release and I could safely end the relationship. After three months of peace and healing, Robert began calling me repeatedly in the middle of the night. He had one request–a hug. He was crying and said, “After all we have been through, I just need closure to move on after the terrible end to our relationship.” He promised to leave me alone forever if I just met him for a hug.

I ignored my intuition and walked outside. I was immediately ambushed. 19 stabs to my head, neck, and face; 13 stabs to my hands and arms in an attempt to defend myself. Two teens nearby heard me screaming, attempted to intervene, and called 911. I owe my life to these two angels. Once Robert believed he succeeded in taking my life, he drove away and attempted suicide. We were both saved that night, and thankfully, he is now serving a life sentence with no chance of parole.

When first responders arrived, I was alert enough to identify myself and him, despite hemorrhaging severely from cut arteries in my neck. I was airlifted to the hospital where I flat-lined four times, received twelve units of blood, suffered a stroke in my cerebellum, had a fractured skull, nose, and jaw with missing teeth, facial paralysis, stabbed larynx, and was severely beaten. It’s a miracle I am still alive today — even the doctors say so. I know God saved me, He couldn’t stop what happened but He did perfectly line up each individual after the attack who had a hand in saving my life.

I believe I was saved to tell my story. Through my faith I learned to accept, forgive, and move on. I realized I was given a voice for those who are too afraid to speak or no longer have the chance because their abuser succeeded in taking their life. I was saved to educate teenagers of the dangers of dating violence. When I was in high school, no one spoke about dating violence and if they had, I firmly believe I would have never gone through what I did. Following that horrific night, I felt the conviction to speak out, become an advocate, and create change. I now work as domestic violence advocate for a local non-profit organization, Hands Across the Bay, where and every day is a blessing.

——-

Melissa is a true hero. She turned the horrific events of that night to a mission to educate others. I would be proud to meet her and thank her. She will save someone’s life with her efforts. She is courageous, embodies strength and a passion to help. I would hug her for turning the pain into a positive and not living with a resentful heart. Melissa is a special person. Stories like Melissa’s keep my past pain in perspective reminding me how blessed I am.

Today, Melissa proudly works for Hands Across the Bay as the Executive Director. She feels everyday that she walks into work or steps on a stage to speak about her story, she is fulfilling her life purpose of why she was saved that horrific night. In an unexpected twist of fate, Melissa met and fell in love with Cameron Hill, one of the first responders on her call. Their 2017 wedding and fairytale love has captured the attention of millions across the world. In their free time, the couple enjoys spending time at The Remedy Farm, their backyard alpaca and llama farm in Pasco County.

Warrior

Repost from 2014

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward · Trauma

NAMI Texas Advocacy Newsletter June 26, 2024

June 27, 2024 Looking for the LightLeave a comment

Hello Advocates, In honor of Pride Month, the NAMI Texas Public Policy Team wanted to take the opportunity to provide some information and resources surrounding the LGBTQ+ community. The History: Pride Month is an annual celebration held throughout the month of June to honor and recognize the LGBTQ+ community and its history, culture, and contributions. It commemorates the Stonewall Riots, a pivotal event in LGBTQ+ history that occurred in June 1969 in New York City, which marked a turning point in the fight for LGBTQ+ rights. A note from NAMI National: “NAMI represents the interests of all people with mental health conditions, yet all people with mental health conditions do not have the same level of access to care and do not receive the same quality of care. Data shows that members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning, intersex (LGBTQI+) community are at a higher risk for experiencing mental health conditions and often experience discrimination in health care settings.”¹ You can read more about NAMI National’s stance on policies impacting the LGBTQ+ community here. Organizations Focused on Providing LGBTQ+ Support and Resources: The Trevor ProjectThe Trevor Project is a nonprofit organization that provides information, support and crisis intervention for LGBTQ+ young people. The Trevor Project disseminates a yearly U.S. National Survey on the Mental Health of LGBTQ+ Young People. Fast Facts from the 2024 Survey:²90% of LGBTQ+ young people said their well-being was negatively impacted due to recent politics.45% of transgender and nonbinary young people reported that they or their family have considered moving to a different state because of LGBTQ+-related politics and laws.50% of LGBTQ+ young people who wanted mental health care in the past year were not able to get it. The Jed Foundation “The Jed Foundation is a nonprofit that protects emotional health and prevents suicide for our nation’s teens and young adults, giving them the skills and support they need to thrive today…and tomorrow.”³ The Jed Foundation offers resources including but not limited to, literature reviews, support through online community forums and a Proud and Thriving Framework to develop and strengthen mental health support for LGBTQ+ students across the country. Links to The Jed Foundation’s Resources and Supports:Proud & Thriving Project Announcement and Executive Summary JED Queer & Questioning Literature Review JED Trans & Nonbinary Literature Review Webinar: Introducing the Proud and Thriving Framework to Support the Mental Health and Wellbeing of LGBTQ+ Students By using our voices to advocate for equitable access to mental health care and showing our unwavering support, we can create a welcoming and inclusive environment for all members of the LGBTQ+ community. With gratitude,The NAMI Texas Public Policy Team Sources:1. NAMIResolutionAgainstLGBTQDiscrimination.pdf2. The Trevor Project: 2024 U.S. National Survey on the Mental Health of LGBTQ+ Young People3. The Story of JED | The Jed Foundation

If you have anything you would like to share with NAMI Texas advocates in these emails, please send the information to policy.fellow@namitexas.org

– Hannah Gill and the NAMI Texas Public Policy Team

Mental Health in the Media KCBD Investigates The Mental Health Crisis: Texas ranks last in access to mental health services“LUBBOCK, Texas (KCBD) – Brittany Simpkins remembers the moment she knew what she was meant to do. “Second semester of undergrad. I took a class in psychology of personality and was completely fascinated,” Simpkins said. Simpkins graduated with a Master of Science in Nursing, and took a job with LifeGift. Simpkins is now the intake director at Oceans Behavioral Hospital in Lubbock. “Watching somebody come in and they are completely at the end of their rope and don’t have any hope, don’t think that it’s going to get any better, walk out with a smile on their face and a hug and, ‘Thank you for saving my life,’ it doesn’t get any better than that,” Simpkins said.” ‘Grateful to be alive’: Programs take pressure off overwhelmed Texas mental health hospitals“When Jonathan Denhart was discharged from the psych ward at Austin Oaks Hospital last year, he was prepared to be back very soon. For more than 40 years, Denhart has cycled through rehabs, sober housing, mental health hospitals and 12-step programs to treat his bipolar and substance use disorders, but nothing worked. As Denhart was about to walk out the door a hospital staff member stopped him and suggested he stop by a place called Austin Clubhouse to try a vocational rehabilitation program.” Williamson County strives to close gaps in access to mental health care “As part of a collaborative effort, Williamson County officials have worked to increase access to mental health care, creating a more streamlined system for individuals experiencing mental distress. The county’s proactive approach prevents or redirects many individuals in the midst of a mental crisis from seeing a jail cell, instead allowing them to receive the appropriate help they need during a critical time.” Mental health booth installation to come to the Borderland“EL PASO, Texas (KVIA) — El Paso has won a national contest to receive a Hope Booth. A Hope Booth is a mental health installation telephone booth that helps connect people with local mental health services and support. The Hope Booth offers 3-minute interactive experiences to users in need of a pick-me-up. The contest was launched on May 1st. After over a thousand comments, El Paso came out on top.” Former Texas RB Jamaal Charles Opens Up About Battle With Mental Health“AUSTIN — After ending his time on the Forty Acres as one of the best running backs in program history, former Texas Longhorns star Jamaal Charles enjoyed a successful 11-year NFL career after being a part of the historical However, Charles recently admitted that he’s endured some concerning battles with mental health since his retirement from football in 2019.”

NAMI is a highly respected organization with a ton of resources, be sure to check out their page for additional information and the advocacy work they do on Capital Hill. I’m a member of the Texas Chapter and NAMI is one organization I advocate for. It’s an armchair advocate but I do send letters to Texas and the Federal Government. on pressing issues and upcoming Bills.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Trauma

Blogger Highlight-Don’t Lose Hope

June 24, 2024 Looking for the Light25 Comments

Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their blog with you. This week we highlight the blog Don’t Lose Hope. All the photos are Ann’s and I had to share them, what a beautiful place to live.

Don’t Lose Hope

Her Word Press blog was originally started to support women who had learned they were in a relationship with a sex addict as there were a lot fewer websites to help women in that situation at the time. However, it has broadened to encompass all betrayal trauma and all trauma.

We have followed each other for years, she’s been a regular Guest Blogger and we have collaborated in the past. You may see the link to her blog and say “I’m not interested in reading about sex addiction.” Her blog contains so much more including the topics on how to heal that we can all relate to. Read the above paragraph again.

Melinda

Looking for the Light

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Moving Forward · Trauma

Tell Your Story By Guest Blogger Don’t Lose Hope

June 17, 2024 Looking for the Light6 Comments

It’s a shame that the change in reblogging only gives you a link, not the snippet you see at the beginning, I’ll have to remember to copy and paste it.

Ann and I have known each other for years and you see her posts on my blog from time to time, she whip-smart and her words hit the mark.

Overlook the name Sex Addiction Partners, Ann does help people overcome the feelings of betrayal about Sex Addiction because that’s her job however all of her posts are about healing, accepting, and recovering from trauma and mental health in general. If you can’t look beyond the name you are missing out.

Be sure to look for her blog in the Blogger Highlight series in the coming weeks.

https://sexaddictionpartners.wordpress.com/2024/06/16/tell-your-story/?page_id=4962

Melinda

Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Survivor · Trauma

Why It’s Imperative To Read All Data Breach Letters *Beware!

April 22, 2024June 18, 2024 Looking for the Light6 Comments

When I wrote about Data Breaches and Identity Theft in the past I never dreamed it would happen to me. These breaches are happening every day and our identity is at risk if enough personal information is released.

I’ve received many of these letters as I’m sure you have to, they are getting more sophisticated and you must know what exact information was released. In the past companies were pretty vague about what data is missing but I think the laws may have changed.

The letters that followed included what type of information was taken which is essential.

Two weeks ago I received a letter from Orsini Pharmaceuticals that all of my private information was involved in the breach! Wow, I a waiting target for Identify Theft. If I had not read the fine print my life could have been ruined by Identity theft.

I have spent hours every day since receiving the letter alerting the necessary companies, changing every password, some I had to change my user name as well. I will look over my shoulder from now on.

I haven’t heard of this company and after a visit to their website, it was clear I had not taken any of their medications. WTF! Why did they have my info in the first place? Did someone share it with them or did they buy the list?

I started reading the press releases about the breach and found that the breach happened three months ago but I’m just hearing about it. Interestingly many people were offered 1-2 years paid protection but I wasn’t. Lawsuits are flying in every direction, that is a thought for another day.

My plan is to write Tom Cappetta, Vice President, Pharmacy Operations, and ask him several questions, most importantly why they had my information. It’s a question I deserve to know yet will not get an answer on. I’m also asking for 2 years of total protection.

We’ll see where the letter takes me.

Melinda

Communicating · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Survivor · Trauma

How Does Domestic Violence Turn To Murder/Suicide?

April 14, 2024July 15, 2024 Looking for the Light30 Comments

Last week a murder-suicide happened in the neighborhood, the house behind us. I was very ill and on pain meds, my husband shielded me from conversations with the Police and the family. I felt the pain of my father’s suicide but quickly focused on the kids in our house.

The father had been released from jail for domestic violence, but he first stopped to buy a gun, then went home, killing his wife and himself in front of the kids.

My husband came upstairs saying two kids were downstairs, they thought the father killed their mother. I went down to get them something to drink and speak to them, nothing heavy, a half hug. The kids were 8,10,17 years old. My heart was breaking for them and their future pain. I offered some snacks and went back upstairs. By now there are 4 to 6 Police officers in the house. One said the 17-year-old ran out of the house when he heard the shot, and police were surrounding the house. The police knocked on the family’s door and he shot himself as they entered the house.

Both parents are dead. How do tell three kids their parents are dead. Your father killed your mother and then himself. Several officers were fighting back tears. I lost my breath thinking of the kid’s future. The girl called family members, and they were on the way to our house.

Once the family arrived, a few facts came out. The parents had been separated for some time. He was in jail for Domestic Violence. His mother bailed him out and he went straight home. She was helping a son she loved, chances are violence never crossed her mind.

The Police took the kids and family to the Children’s Advocacy Center. The center will start therapy and offer help from trained professionals.

After 11:00 a.m. two guys looking professional were talking to a neighbor. I went over to see if I could help. I didn’t know they were reporters. I shared how little I know. They wanted to do an interview, right or wrong I did. I could only say over and over, that my heart breaks for the three kids, they don’t understand, they’re in shock and they have no parents.

I ask God to carry the three kids in his hands, to help them through the shock, and to cradle them when they need you most. The traumatized kids will need help coping with the unbearable pain and need help working through trauma which can take years.

Xx M

Repost from 2016.

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Trauma

How Do You Heal From Trauma?

November 5, 2023July 23, 2024 Looking for the Light9 Comments

I had a conversation with my Therapist about healing from trauma recently. I asked her, if a traumatic memory is triggered and there is no emotion or pain associated with it does that mean it’s not traumatic anymore. She explained that the memory is still traumatic until I attach a memory to it.

Everyone has trauma in their life. It could be the death of a loved one, a horrific car accident, losing your job, or any other trauma you can think of including chronic illnesses. Many people push the trauma down and go about their business. When I was younger most of my worst traumas were in a box. It’s a survival method and not the recommended way to heal!

I started seeing my Therapist 30 years ago, and we’ve slowly talked through most of my trauma. Healing is a slow process but a necessary one. I’m sharing my slimmed-down description of the process. Healing also includes self-care, lots of self-care, and giving yourself grace.

Healing Process

The first step is acknowledging the trauma.

You need to talk to a Therapist about the trauma in great detail. This can be difficult which means you may talk about one trauma for a month or more.

Once you’ve talked through the trauma it’s easy to think you’re healed. Not so.

The final step to healing is taking each trauma and adding emotion to it. This is a tough part. You have to mentally go back to the trauma and feel the emotion felt at the time and process it.

She reminded me that I had to relive the trauma and feel the emotion. I didn’t have to think about it, I’m not going back. Why? My daily life is not affected, the memories rarely come up, if at all, and I can deal with that. In the future, if a memory hits hard and stays with me, I will take the next step.

We all deserve to live our best life and you have to make your own decisions. You’re in charge, if you are not ready to talk, don’t talk. Please know that all traumatic memories stay with you until you process them. Once you are ready to talk, go at your own speed, healing is no marathon.

At times of trauma and stress, individuals may turn to drugs and alcohol as a coping mechanism in an attempt to ease pain or escape overwhelming emotions related to their experiences. While such substances may provide temporary relief, reliance on substances often complicates healing journeys further, leading to further emotional and physical problems. Recognizing such tendencies is key, as this allows individuals to explore healthier coping strategies. Getting assistance from professionals such as therapists, support groups, and facilities like Woburn Addiction Treatment may lead to more constructive routes toward healing while stressing that healthy alternatives exist despite the challenges you experience.

To achieve healing of any type, you have to feel positive toward your Therapist in order to build trust in them. It may take seeing several before meeting a person you click with. Once you trust them, stay with them.

My version of healing from trauma may sound easy but I assure you it’s not. My mother left me in the bathtub at six months old and went downstairs to talk with my Granny before being asked where I was. The trauma builds from there and I survived with the help of my Grandparents and my Therapist.

The process of dealing with trauma can bring up other unpleasant emotions relating to these memories, such as anxiety. Going back and reliving events from the past prevents you from repressing them as you normally would. It feels like blood-letting while you’re doing it, but it is also one of those things that’s essential. If you don’t go through it (preferably with the help of a therapist), it’ll all stay inside you and you won’t get better.

Even if you’re not ready to deal with the tough stuff, there are many benefits to having a Therapist to talk to. My Therapist has helped me deal with so much more than trauma.

Melinda

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Moving Forward · Survivor · Trauma

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

October 1, 2021September 26, 2025 Looking for the Light6 Comments

Join me and No More in the ongoing fight against Domestic Violence. Domestic Violence is everyone’s business and you could save a life. Make the call to 911 if you hear or see anything, it could save a life.

I grew up in a Domestic Violence household and the traumatic experience was painful and harrowing at times. I watched my step-father put a knife to my mother’s throat when I was nine years old, the image never left me.

“TOGETHER, WE CAN HELP FREE THOSE HARMED BY DOMESTIC AND SEXUAL VIOLENCE.” No More

NO MORE is dedicated to ending domestic violence and sexual assault by increasing awareness, inspiring action and fueling culture change.

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Melinda

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Moving Forward · Self-Care · Trauma

Male Sexual Assault-Road to Recovery

June 30, 2017February 4, 2026 Looking for the Light64 Comments

Men and boys who have been sexually assaulted or abused face the same mental and physical effects as other survivors. Cultural stereotypes about men and how they portray masculinity can sometimes feel toxic to male survivors, adding additional challenges to their experience.

Recovering from sexual assault or abuse is a process that looks different for everyone, and it’s important to support a survivor, no matter their gender identity. Focusing on self-care after a sexual assault is a vital step toward recovery. Sexual assault can affect the physical and emotional health of a survivor, so it’s important to address both components of self-care. Should a victim choose to seek professional help, therapy can provide a space to openly discuss their thoughts and experiences.

One out of every 10 rape victims is male. It’s crucial to remind male survivors that they are not alone and share the services available to help them through their recovery.

Survivors can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline 800.656.HOPE (4653) or visit online.rainn.org to be connected with local sexual assault service providers in their area. RAINN also partners with 1in6, an organization dedicated to helping men who survived unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood. If something happened to you, know that you are not alone and help is available. This Men’s Health Month—and all year round—join RAINN in supporting all survivors.

https://www.rainn.org/news/male-sexual-assault-road-recovery

Thank you for reading. RAINN is an excellent has extensive resources for men and women.

Additional resources:

Melinda

Family · Health and Wellbeing · Medical · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Trauma

Mother leaves 8 year old at county hospital overnight

January 24, 2015February 3, 2026 Looking for the Light10 Comments

It’s interesting the events our mind suppresses or forgets. I have no problem or emotion talking about the physical and emotional abuse at the hands of my mother and step father. I have disassociated memories of sexual abuse by my father. I know it. My therapist and I have talked about it, she doesn’t push and knows if the door opens I’ll talk. What I will not do is force my mind and body to endure pain it’s not ready for. I have a good perspective on what I’ve survived and the methods our mind uses to deal with our deepest pain. I’m not sure if this particular memory was forgotten or suppressed. I had no emotion as my therapist was almost brought to tears.

I saw a story on the news about a 8-year-old girl tortured by her parents in some way. I don’t recall the circumstances. I always plan what I want to talk about but this day was different. I sat down and the memory of the little girl crossed my mind. I asked her if she had heard the story then adding my thoughts. I started to cry which I do easily for others in pain. As we talked about what type of parent would do that, a childhood memory flooded over me. The tears dried and it was if I was talking about someone else. When I was 8 years old I started having terrible side pains and daycare called my mother. She didn’t take off early and it was maybe 3 hours before she arrived. At that point I could barely walk and could not walk and breath. The supervisor thought I had an appendicitis attack and should get to the hospital right away. It was Halloween night and I didn’t want to miss out on the candy but pain was taking over my small body. My mother was angry for ruining things for my brother, nothing new about that. I guess we did not have insurance since the first hospital turned us away. We are talking early 1970’s. She drove to the county hospital and I waited on a bed until the people bleeding and dying received treatment. Halloween night is one of the busiest nights of the year with more shootings than normal. The emergency room was full and I was outside a mans curtain to wait my turn. During this time my mother left to take my brother to trick or treat. I didn’t realize until a nurse asked where she was. I said she talked to a nurse and went home. She was a big woman and I knew nobody gave her any shit. Asking why in the hell my mother would leave me there. My answer did not sit well with her, I knew a beating was in store for me. One thing to keep in mind is the county hospital is in the hood in one of the worst areas of Dallas. This is not a place an adult would feel comfortable let alone a child. I was on my side crying in pain and saw the man thru the curtain. He was an older man and he had what looked like wires coming out of several places on both arms. My eyes caught his, I ask does that hurt. He was a kind man saying not as bad as my pain did and then where was my mother. I told him how upset I was that my brother would not share his candy with me. He looked shocked my mother would leave me there. My mother eventually came back in the greatest of moods and was raising her voice at the big nurse. I was rooting for her to punch my mother if the mouth or grab her by the neck. I have no doubt it happened many times getting drunks under control.

The doctor didn’t think I needed surgery, just to stay overnight for observation. For a second I was glad until rolled to my room. The hospital was so overcrowded I hade to sleep in a baby bed. That is the last thing a kid (big girl) wants to hear. I cram myself in the bed and they pull the side up. It was so dark in there I thought I was alone until babies started crying. Which made it much worse for me. Not only did I have to sleep with my legs pulled up, babies are crying and my mother is home in her comfortable bed.

You would think at this point in the story I would feel some emotion but my mind switches back to the little girl. My mind turned a switch, my story was over, no big deal, that was my mother, that was my life. I couldn’t help but cry for the other girl. How can people do that to their children. As I’m talking to my therapist my story and pain never crosses my mind again. That was several years ago, it buried itself and popped back up last week.

XO Warrior