RAINN  Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network

Help is available 24/7 through the National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800-656-HOPE and online.rainn.org, y en español: rainn.org/es.

Survivor Spotlight: College Campus Sexual Assault

(August 10, 2015) — Ti’Air was happy that someone she met a few years ago reached out to help her through the process of moving to a new university campus, where she was beginning to study for a Ph.D. in biomedical engineering. “He was very friendly and helpful. We talked every day,” she says. “But suddenly, he became extremely flirtatious and aggressive.” One night, he invited her to karaoke. He took her back to her home at the end of the night, and when they arrived at her apartment, he raped her.

Although Ti’Air reported her rape to her university and the police, the case did not move forward. She channeled her frustration with this experience into founding a student group on campus. “The reason I started Students Against Rape and Violence (SARA V) was due to the lack of resources I found on my campus to help me cope,” she says. Ti’Air hopes SARA V can be a vehicle of change by educating students about sexual assault and providing a safe space for peers to share their experiences.

Ti’Air says there were a number of challenges she faced after her sexual assault. She had trouble focusing at school, developed post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and faced harassment from friends of her assailant. Yet, Ti’Air now feels stronger as a result of these obstacles. “In retrospect, these experiences were awful, but they have made my skin thicker.”

Ti’Air now has some tips for dealing with symptoms of PTSD. “To combat nightmares, I’ve found that drinking chamomile tea at night before bed helps me stay asleep,” she says. “If I’m in public and having triggers, I calm myself down and give myself words of affirmation.”

In addition to improved resources for handling sexual assault, Ti’Air wants colleges to provide mandatory education for students on the subject. She likes the idea of interactive workshops that facilitate conversations about sexual violence and consent. “I want to encourage student interaction [to learn] what is okay and what is not okay,” she says.

Ti’Air found many strategies that helped her heal and recover, including going to counseling and spending time with family and friends. “I actually discovered the Lafayette Crisis Center through RAINN’s website, and drove over to attend one of their therapy sessions.”

She also emphasizes the importance of not keeping silent. “I find that telling my story is cathartic,” Ti’Air says. As a title holder in the Miss United States pageant system, Ti’Air is able to encourage other survivors to speak up. “By far, the most rewarding aspect is hearing others come forth with their stories,” she says. “Although I may never see justice myself, it feels great to know that my work may help others see justice.”

“I want every survivor to know that it is not your fault. You are not responsible or guilty for what has happened to you,” she says. “You are worthy of respect and love.”

Bring the conversation about sexual assault prevention to your school this fall: Join the #TalkToRAINN campaign and sign up to receive free coffee sleeves for your campus.

If you or someone you know has been affected by sexual violence, it’s not your fault. You are not alone. Help is available 24/7 through the National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800-656-HOPE and online.rainn.org, y en español: rainn.org/es.

Suicide is the second leading cause of death in college-age students. In a recent study, one in ten students admitted to having considered suicide.

My name is Conner Mertens. I am a sophomore at Willamette University and a placekicker for the Willamette Bearcats. Last year, I became the first active college football player, at any level, to publicly come out about my sexuality. Before doing this, I felt isolated by my secret. I had to constantly watch what I said and how I behaved, and endure the normal locker room culture that often included homophobic language and behavior.

In those moments of profound loneliness, I wanted help, but felt I needed to steer clear of anything that, at the time, I thought made me seem weak (therapists, school counselors, etc.) Had I known then about an anonymous, judgment-free hotline I could call to get the help I so desperately needed, I might not have felt that same self-loathing, isolation.

Still, I was lucky. When I finally decided to be true to myself and come out publicly, my coach, team and entire school rallied behind me. I finally had my depression under control. Unfortunately, many college students don’t get this relief, and too many of them choose a permanent solution to this temporary problem by taking their life.

That’s why I am asking two of America’s largest university systems, the University of California and California State University, to include suicide hotline numbers on their student IDs. Let’s make it a little easier for those in need to find help.

I now have a public platform to make change. News organizations like Fox Sports, SB Nation and USA Today have interviewed me, and I am so glad to be able to show others that it’s ok to be yourself. But I want to take it further.

By putting suicide hotline numbers on student IDs across the country, we can provide students a much-needed outlet for their struggles. Join me in asking the UC and CSU systems to set an example for the rest of America’s universities. Sign my petition asking them to put suicide hotlines on student IDs.

Please click link to read more.

https://www.change.org/p/university-presidents-add-suicide-hotlines-to-ids?source_location=trending_petitions_home_page&algorithm=curated_trending

Colleges are experiencing a growing number of suicides and crime. Many students do not feel they have anywhere to turn. This problem is everyone’s problem. This is not a job for our Government, they are to slow and these issues are urgent now. We have to get involved at the street level in our communities to identify the real issues. We work collectively to push for change. Grassroots efforts can effect change much quicker.  

XO  Melinda 

Your Eyes Touch My Soul

XO M

Important Change.org Petition

Petitioning President Barack Obama

Help the women and girls from my home town who have been kidnapped by ISIS
Feryal Pirali and Yazda, a Global Yazidi Organization.

My name is Feryal. I live in Lincoln, Nebraska, but I grew up in a small town in Iraq called Sinjar. Last August, ISIS kidnapped thousands of women and girls from my hometown. For a year, ISIS has tortured and raped them. Many are teenagers just like me.

Please urge President Obama to help save 3,200 women and children from my community — some as young as 11 — who were captured by ISIS, and have been raped and tortured for the past year.

I and my family are part of the Yazidi, an ancient religious minority who live mostly in Northern Iraq. Because the Yazidi are not Muslim, ISIS extremists want us exterminated. I and my parents were able to escape, but most of my friends and family couldn’t. I think constantly about the girls my age who I was friends with growing up, who are now being raped every day by ISIS extremists.

They can be saved. In fact, 1,800 have escaped or been rescued — but there are still 3,200 Yazidi women and children being held by ISIS. The Yazidi and the local government in Iraq want to rescue them too, but they don’t have the resources they need to get them out. If the United States can step up and provide much-needed support to these groups, they can start to save these women and children. But the more time that goes by, the longer they have to live through this night

If nothing is done, thousands from my community will be doomed to a life of rape and torture by ISIS. Urge President Obama to help save them while there is still time.

Once, one of my friends who had been taken by ISIS managed to get a hold of a phone and called her family, screaming and begging to be rescued. And then she went silent. She, and thousands of other women and girls, desperately need help.

Join me in urging President Obama to support efforts by Yazidi activists, and the local government in Iraq, to rescue Yazidi women and children from ISIS enslavement.

https://www.change.org/p/barack-obama-help-the-yazidi-women-and-girls-enslaved-by-isis?source_location=update_footer&algorithm=curated_trending

You can see the original petition on Change.org link. Please forgive if translation is incorrect.

XO  Melinda

Melinda – There’s a new petition taking off on Change.org, and we think you might be interested in signing it.

From one animal lover to another, don’t leave your animals in a hot car.  Shaggy agrees.  XO Melinda

Petitioning Target

Quit letting dogs suffer in hot cars.

Petition by Kimberly Carrier
Minneapolis, Minnesota

It is truly distressing to see a dog locked in a hot car, struggling to breathe. In a public place, like at a park or on the street, there’s very little we can do to alert the absentee owner about what is going on. We feel so helpless as we watch the dog panic, or worse.

But at a store like Target, we have the opportunity to alert the owner and ensure the safety and survival of their pet. Target stores have loudspeakers that can reach all shoppers and let them know of a dangerous situation going on in the parking lot. But for some reason, Target states they will not allow an announcement via loudspeaker concerning dogs in cars. And on more than one occasion, a Target manager has refused to alert the authorities when a dog has been found suffering in a car.

We are not asking Target to condemn any of its customers. We’re only asking them to take advantage of this great communication tool and institute a company-wide policy to make announcements for dogs trapped in hot cars on their property.
I understand the need for maintaining customer relations, but that should include the customers that are upset by watching dogs suffer. Suffering from distress, heat stroke, dehydration, or possibly death is more inconvenient for a dog than a moment’s embarrassment is for a person.
Let’s ask Target to do what’s right and announce via loudspeaker when a dog is found trapped in a hot car on their premises.

Sign Kimberly’s petition at Change.org.

(August 13, 2015) – TLC has announced plans to air “Breaking the Silence,” a new documentary about child sexual abuse. The documentary will include interviews with members of RAINN’s Speakers Bureau and offer a look inside a Darkness to Light prevention training workshop. The program will air on Sunday, August 30, at 10/9c.

RAINN and Darkness to Light are partnering with TLC on a multi-platform campaign to combat child sexual abuse in the U.S. Later this month, TLC will begin airing public service ads featuring the National Sexual Assault Hotline.

Breaking the Silence will feature interviews with people impacted by sexual abuse, including Traci Lee and her daughter, Ter-rae Lee, who received help from RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline. “I was sexually abused by my father from the age of 11 until 13,” said Ter-rae Lee. “With the support of RAINN, I gained the courage to extract a telephone confession from my father as the district attorney’s office silently listened in. This call led to my father’s conviction, allowing me to feel safe for the first time in years.”

The program will also include the story of survivor Erin Merryn, who has led the campaign to pass Erin’s Law, which requires schools to educate students about sexual abuse. To date, 26 states have passed Erin’s Laws, and the U.S. Senate last month passed a bill to encourage the remaining states to implement such programs.

“We are grateful to the survivors of sexual abuse and their families who are so generously sharing their experiences through the documentary,” said Katherine Hull Fliflet, RAINN’s vice president of communications. “Hearing from survivors can make a big difference in the lives of other families who have been impacted by sexual abuse. We hope that hearing these stories will encourage many others to come forward and get help through the National Sexual Assault Hotline.”

About RAINN
RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) is the nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization and was named one of “America’s 100 Best Charities” by Worth magazine. RAINN created and operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline (800.656.HOPE and online.rainn.org) in partnership with more than 1,000 local sexual assault service providers across the country and operates the DoD Safe Helpline for the Department of Defense. In 2015, the Online Hotline expanded to offer services in Spanish at rainn.org/es. The hotlines have helped more than two million people since 1994. RAINN also carries out programs to prevent sexual violence, help victims and ensure that rapists are brought to justice. For more information about RAINN, please visit rainn.org.

Originally posted February 27, 2006

My grandmother passed away in 2005 from Dementia brought on by two strokes. I’m reposting for caregivers with a loved one with Alzheimer’s or Dementia. For those who have not been a caregiver, the post may help you down the road. Caregivers commit every ounce of energy to keep their loved one comfortable, take care of yourself. Your body can physically break down. Due to her lack of memory it’s hard to take an eye off her, 24/7. I was fortunate we had hospice care, allowing Gramps to play domino’s everyday until the last months.  He was strong in accepting his life changed dramatically. He never complained. 

A month ago my grandmother fell and broke her hip, a bad situation for any 85-year-old. Made worse with the memory loss. The hospital had the worst staff.. She’s home after a week in the hospital and another in a nursing home. That was hard on me, thinking about leaving her there and the response when Gramps wasn’t at her side. I took the grave shift and slept on floor next to her. 

My mind runs to at high level by switching to what I call “caregiver mode”. I can manage tons of information, what drugs each takes, scheduling appointments, discuss test results or anything needed to take care of two people who are dying and “switch back” when at home.

Before the fall, my grandmother knew me and though our conversations were limited, I enjoyed sharing  memories with her. She really enjoyed a photo book I put together that had many photos of her beloved dog, Blackie. Thinking about Blackie always made her smile and even though he died twenty years ago she remembered like it was today.

Driving to their house one day, tears started rolling down my face. I could not stop crying. It took a few minutes to figure out what was causing so much pain. I switched from caregiver to granddaughter.  My grandmother no longer knew me. We would not share our memories again. I knew the day would come and  prayed our memories calmed her in some way. Seeing her memory fade by the days was harder than I imagined. I’m blessed being a caregiver to both grandparents  

I”m miss my granny and think of her several times a day.

XO Melinda

I became interested in other cultures after meeting two Jordanians in High School. Both were so generous, answering every question asked of them. I heard about the Muslim religion for the first time. My dream of traveling the world meant learning other cultures. I thank both for sharing the beauty of Jordan and opening up to me as a friend. 

I have no agenda to offend anyone or call out any religion as good or bad. I continue learn other cultures and religions, it’s my life goal.  XO Melinda

Have a weekend filled with love….time for those you love.    XO  M

Photo by Graphic Stock