My First Suicide Attempt

September is Suicide Prevention Month and I’ve written several posts about my experiences with suicide including my own attempt at 12 years old. 

I had been contemplating suicide since I was nine years old but today was different. It was the summer I moved to live with my father, I was 12 years old and home alone.

I raided my dad’s medicine cabinet and took all the pills I could find then grabbed a bottle of Southern Comfort and started drinking.

As I got drunk and the pills started to work so I decided to go next door and talk with my neighbor. Not to share my plan but I was higher than a kite.

We continued talking and she noticed I appeared more than drunk and noticed a red line going up my arm. She asked if I had taken anything and I said yes, I planned to die.

She called my father who was 30 minutes away, by the time he got there I was in pretty bad shape. I was rushed to the hospital and my stomach was pumped.

A failed attempt.

It is important to understand that anyone can reach a point so low they consider suicide at any age. The best thing you can do is look for signs someone may be depressed and getting too low or suicidal.

Here are a few of my own thoughts:


Lashing Out

Failing Grades when a good student

Talks about dying

Starts giving away their personal belongings

Cashes out their back accounts

Jumps right on a task that has been overdue with enthusiasm

These are from my personal experience with suicide including my father’s.

If you are having suicidal thoughts please contact one of the resources below, a local resource, or go to your local hospital.

1-800-273-TALK (8255)
Press 1, Veterans Crisis Line USA
Press 2, Se Habla Español
Text 741-741 Crisis Chat (LGBTQ Youth)
1-866-488-7386 (24/7/365)

TrevorChat (7 days/week from 3PM–10PM ET / noon–3PM PT)
TrevorText — text START to 678-678 (Mon–Fri, 3PM–10PM ET / noon–3PM PT)

Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255

Veterans Crisis Line1-800-273-8255 press 1

Photo by Ayyub Yahaya on

I’ll be writing more throughout the month about my personal experiences including that of my father’s suicide.

I’m here for any questions or feedback.



  1. Thank you for sharing this particularly important and difficult aspect of your journey. Wishing you didn’t have more to share… but grateful you are offering your experiences to offer awareness. Sending love and strength.💚🦋💚

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Hi Melinda. Thank you for sharing your story and encouraging others to be aware. Depression is a silent killer in many ways. I was never suicidal but when I opened up about my depression many people in my life were shocked. They had no idea. Thanks for being part of the good fight. Wishing you well 🙏

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Well written, thank you for sharing your real life experience and you have written another phase of human life and this content should also be notified by readers..Life is really precious and need to be taken care of, from all those tendencies..
    Sucidal tendency is a state of mind and it should be treated with utmost love and care..

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Thanks for sharing about yet another tough (and personal) subject Melinda. Sharing your story can give others the strength and information they need to keep going. For others, knowing the signs that your loved ones are depressed and considering suicide really can help save lives.

    Liked by 3 people

Leave a Reply to AP2 Cancel reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s