How to Deal With Grief in a Healthy Way
Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

How to Deal With Grief in a Healthy Way

Looking for the Light

Grief is one of the most powerful emotions a person can experience. It’s also something that everyone has to deal with at some point in their lives. We love, we live, and we die. Then we’re left to pick up the pieces. 

The fact is, grief hurts. It’s natural for it to hurt, and it’s natural for different people to have different experiences of this pain. But that doesn’t mean that every experience of grief is healthy. It’s easy to get sucked into a hole of grief that doesn’t stop hurting and that stains the rest of your life.

While it might not be as simple as “moving on”, it is possible to manage your grief. Here are some tips to help.

Grieving Before Death

In some cases, you might find the grieving process begins before your loved one has passed away. Usually, this is due to a long illness that can only ever result in death. If you act as a caregiver, it can be hard to balance this grief with the practical parts of caring for your loved one.

Sometimes you have to compartmentalize. This means that, when you’re actively caring for them, you focus on the practical side of things. But you still need to allow yourself to process your grief.

But you should also try to find the joy in being a caregiver. It’s hard work, physically, mentally, and emotionally. But it allows you to spend time with someone you love and it allows you to demonstrate how much you love them, even if they can’t always recognize it. 

Give Yourself Time

Unfortunately, life goes on for all of us, even when we lose someone we love. Everything else doesn’t grind to a halt, even if we feel like it should. We have work, family responsibilities, chores, and bills.

Some people prefer to throw themselves into literally anything else so that they don’t have to think about their grief. Still others find it impossible to concentrate on anything else.

Even if you’re in the former camp, you still need to give yourself time to grieve. It hurts, but it needs to hurt. Don’t feel ashamed because you aren’t able to stop hurting after a few months, but also don’t feel guilty when you manage to have a moment without thinking about the person you lost.

Let yourself hurt and cry and grieve, but let yourself live as well.

Talk to Someone

Part of processing grief healthily includes talking to people you trust. If you’ve lost a family member or friend, you and your loved ones can help each other by talking about your shared grief. You aren’t being a burden, you’re just being human.

In some cases, you may feel as though you need to talk to someone else. That’s what grief counseling consultation is for. You can talk to someone who is experienced and trained to help you, but who also won’t be hurt by your feelings.

This is a collaborative post.

Melinda

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22 thoughts on “How to Deal With Grief in a Healthy Way”

  1. I was definitely grieving while caring for my Dad when he was receiving hospice care at home. One day, I was crying while sitting on his hospice bed. He asked “What’s wrong?” I asked sobbing at this point and said “I just love you so much.” He replied, “I know. You still can.”

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    1. It’s so hard to be a caregiver but the memories we make are precious. Once the grieving comes to an end, these beautiful memories are there to stay. I took care of both of my Grandparents and it was hard as hell, the hardest thing I’ve ever done but I would not change it. You Dad was so optimistic and he didn’t want to to suffer. Thanks for taking the time to comment. i look forward to seeing you again. :)

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  2. If you don’t want your comments posting instantly you can change your settings to hold in Moderation and you are can and chose to publish or not. It sounds like you need to brush up on how you want the site to work and lay of the land before marching ahead and on the wrong foot at that. Looks like you have a mission but one I’m not interested in and will block all reblogs.

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  3. I don’t normally not that strict but it’s happening to many times, I’m to the point of turning off the reblog button. The bottom line rule for writing is always give credit to the writer and never let others assume it’s your work. If you can start off with that rule in place you can grow from there. Build your blog with your own writing and not other’s. If you would like to explain what your blog’s mission is I may warm up.

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  5. I haven’t found closure after the death of my aunt who raised me. Everytime i think about how she died and see her lying in the coffin my body goes into shock. Death is hard grieving is my enemy i just can’t get over it and move on. Its been 16 years a wound still feels fresh a scar i worn without pride. I went from doctors to doctor seems like i can’t find closure

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    1. Doctor’s can’t grieve for you, it’s you heavy burden to work thru and there is not time limit of grieving. However 16 years is a bit long to feel that fresh. Find a Therapist with grieving skills and let them help you restart your journey on grieving. That’s the answer to moving forward. I understand how painful and how long it can take, but I got there and you can too. :)

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  6. I have grieved for my mum ever since things changed back in 2019. I have cried so much I can’t cry and longer I feel at times.
    The grieving just comes now and again this past 6 months.

    Whether I will cry when the time comes my mum is no longer here, I don’t know.

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    1. The great thing about grieving is it happens on your time, it probably hasn’t been long enough. One of the tools I used when overwhelmed with grief was get out photos and relive that good memory. Grieving isn’t about putting all of the memories in a box, it’s about healing you loss and pain. I hope you have a good support system in place. Thanks for leaving me comments, I appreciate you. :)

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      1. I am on my own mostly. But I have friends a couple of friends an email or text away. Another friend who has become unreliable over the years and a atranger due to mucking me about a lot by not turning up when he said he was coming too often, is getting where I don’t class has a friend.
        Another two friends I see every fortnight.
        Three others we all meet up every few weeks up, that I keep in touch with since they retired.

        You may have forgot as it’s hard to keep track when we read a lot of blogs, but I cleared out a majority of my photos. I just keep a handful. They were not happy memories to look back at.
        I just have one of my mum and the other photos I kept were more newer of friends.

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        1. I know a lot about bad memories from birth actually. Maybe find a Therapist with skills with grieving? Having someone outside of the situation can be good, they are honest with you and the feedback is much more relatable and helps you grow. My family consist of my husband and my brother who I haven’t seen in many years. My Therapist has made a huge change in my life by helping through life. Take good care of yourself, be self aware. Not mention the topic, no-one can understand grief until they lose someone. I understand completely. I’m hear if you need a shoulder. :)

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          1. I have hadots of therapy that has helped. I was using a therapist last year again to continue with other things. But I had to stop as I could ot afford it. And now, as I have mentioned in my latest post, I am really struggling money-wise right now.

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          2. I forgot that was your current situation. I know there are good free resources, it’s finding what will help you.One of my favorite charities is Joyful Heart Foundation. Grieving is not their mission but it’s very possible they have a section on Grieving. Mariska is so motivating, has made tremendous headway in Government, a solid ream on a mission! When setting out to research a topic, I only go to know and respected sites on the first pass, it’s the most accurate information. From there you might find someone on WordPress to follow and possibly communicate with. Whatever you can do for yourself is better than nothing. :)

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          3. With the grieving side, I am fine for now. I have been managing long enough and my blog helps if I write it out. I have let a lot go through the things I have done. But I did want to persue counselling further for my trauma. But it’s just going to be on hold and will for a long time. I have things learnt from past counselling and things learnt since to help when having difficult days.
            I used private counselling because on the NHS you are waiting months. Even if suicidal.
            If I am ever suicidal, I have my GP to approach. But otherwise, for other counselling, Samaritans have been good in the past when I have used. 🙂

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          4. I don’t want to barge in on your life since I don’t understand your trauma, but personally know that trauma is a long journey best spent with someone or the right environment. I support around 8-10 charities and several of them are for healing from sexual assault, child abuse and they might have great reading resources or on-line forums that may help. I’m trying to help, it’s my nature and I’ve had my share of trauma. :)

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          5. Thank you. I have mentioned my trauma in the past on my blog. More so on past blogs as I was going through counselling. But a little has been mentioned on this one.
            I was after going into chatting further on trust. Obviously, with the last relationship being what it was and so I soon ended, I just not going to get in another relationship. I just can’t see it. But the counselling I started during when I not long started going out again and when I dumped in after seeing red flags. But trust is very hard and more so after that. So my counselling was on that level on past relationship. Plus him, how he affected me.

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          6. We all use tolls as we need them, I especially understand the wrong type of person in your life. I mentioned several things I have learned after divorcing my ex-husband. It is near impossible to tryst blindly, it has to be earned and it sounds you are the same place. Nothing wrong with looking at what wasn’t working on both sides of the relationship and learn from it. I will admit my husband was different. We met at a New Years party and married 10 months later. The difference is I spent time analyzing my needs and what type of man I was looking for long term. Got lucky and he fit it. Trust is about taking small steps, instead of having a relationship, start at being friends while getting to know who they are. Don’t invest to much in the beginning until you decide the person can add joy to your life. :)

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          7. Yes, you’re right, I am like that when it comes to trust. It has got to be earnt.

            They say once bitten, twice shy. Well, I have been bitten more than that. 🙂

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