I was not born into money and any money had to be made by me. Sometimes, I would think “If I had money, this would all go away.” The great thing is this encouraged me to jump out there and set the world on fire.
My first job was a paper route at 10 years old, just several blocks around my house, producing money that made me feel more in control and it felt great.
I worked my way into sales which is a natural fit for me, and I worked hard but always had my eye on the goal, more money. I joined a 2B company as a National Trainer with 15-20 offices. I had arrived at the top! Not really. I traveled 5-6 days a week, ran errands the entire weekend, and spent no time with my ex-husband. This job was the beginning of the breakdown in our marriage.
During those few years, my salary was between $250K-$350K, plus adding bonuses like money and exotic trips, I was riding high. I spent money like crazy, and never thought about my long-term future.
A few years later, I won a lawsuit and became a multi-millionaire. It was short-lived after paying the taxes and the lawyer and the settlement isn’t so large. Shortly after the settlement, I had Brain Surgery and took some time off to recover by remodeling and upgrading our house. While our marriage fell apart and we divorced.
I never asked myself if I was happy, fulfilled, and living a good life. I wasn’t and set out to make major changes. First I started focusing on the future while maintaining a fun life. After the divorce, I no longer had big money. It was a time for discovery.
I matured from the divorce and started writing down what made me happy or what I thought would. I started by giving a bit to charity and other ways to find joy and spent some time thinking about the type of man that I wanted in my life if the chance came again. I was open but already 38 years old.
Learning how to get in touch with myself happened after I married my husband. I have learned what “in sickness and in health means.” He’s had my back, loved me when I was in very dark places and mean, and has shown that love for over 23 years.
Our focus changed to what we want in our future and retirement, what number would give us a comfortable retirement. To do that you have to make sacrifices which in the beginning was hard for me but now, I would not go back to my high-rolling days.
Money didn’t give me joy, it flamed my ego which affected my marriage.
Money didn’t keep my Bipolar Disorder under control, I did.
Money didn’t keep my Grandparents from dying.
Money will not protect you from harm, death, illness, or stress.
I love our comfortable life watching TV together every night, and catching up on the day while sharing a meal. My husband washes his own clothes which makes it easier on me, takes care of the dogs, and cooks most of the time and in Summer he’s great about watering my plants.
What my journey taught me is money is great but it’s icing not the foundation of a great life.
Melinda
lookingforthelight.blog 
Let’s hope the weakening of the Gulf Stream isn’t actually happening. In the end, it could also turn out that the climate here doesn’t change much one way or the other if global warming compensates for the weakening of the Gulf Stream (which is caused by the melting of glaciers). Of course, global warming would still be catastrophic in many places. You too, have a nice day and week ahead!
You’re hitting the nail on the head. Like my father used to say: “Money brings calm, but it doesn’t bring happiness.” One thing, the most important thing, you can’t get even with money, is health!! As long as there is health, there are all possibilities open in your life. And the appetite grows with eating as they say. The more money, the more needs, the more consumption. In fact you have never really enough money. Great writing, have a good spring!
Thank you. I was afraid of opening up about my financial past but I wanted people to see that I went high up and fell back down and my life still had to be lived. I’m very thankful my husband makes a good salary but we are not rich in money. We live for comfort and hopefully an early retirement for my husband. Have a great day and thanks for so much for commenting. 🙂
I totally understand. Human beings can manage with a little less as long as the basics are in place. However, in Western countries, consumption has become such a big deal that it feels like you’re missing out if you don’t have all the gadgets/items that others have, or that are advertised on TV, and everything is expensive nowadays (even food). You have to give up something, unless you’re a millionaire. On the other hand, if you don’t have any extra money, you truly understand its importance. You have to think about food choices, too. Then you feel pretty worthless. Been there, done that. On the other hand, it’s good to hit rock bottom sometimes, so you appreciate money a little better!
My appreciation for money is in a good place. I’m 60 years old and don’t care what everyone is selling or buying what other’s have that I don’t. I would much rather love myself with less money than miserable with money. Money is good and bad, like so many other things that lure us. I completely agree with your assessment of Western Culture’s. What country are you from? 🙂
I’m from Finland -the happiest country in the world-. 😂 Well, I wouldn’t actually be so sure about that, (and I’m not quite sure if we’re still in the lead). but this is definitely going to change if the suspicions about the weakening/extinction of the Gulf Stream are true. The winters would be so long that it would definitely increase depression. Even this spring, there was heavy snowfall all over Finland just last week. Extremely rare!
I looked at the best places to live in the world, Finland was always in the top. But more snow on top of the snow you already receive that would leave many depressed. It’s too cold for me. In fact all of the places at the top of the list are too cold for me. I haven’t heard about the weakening Gulf Stream. I think the majority of Americans don’t understand Climate Change beyond the word. I’m no expert but I do know it exists and work on ways to protect the earth.
So glad you wrote back, I learned something new. Have a great day. 🙂
life is difficult at times isn’t it but it sounds like you are balancing it well 💜💜
We are working hard, if the market would agree, to see if hubby can retire at 62. 🙂
Fingers crossed for you 💜💜
Money causes so much trouble ….whether you have too much or too little 💜💜
I’ve been on both sides and I’m happy in the middle. Always being at home, due to health or mental health can bring me down, which needs to be a kick to make me do it. At 60 I’m so glad we started looking forward. We think differently, he is logical all the way and I’m logic & heart. 🙂
You share a very important message, Melinda. The best life centers around the little things. I’m happy you have a wonderful partner. There’s nothing like that.
If he wouldn’t procrastinate but none of us are perfect! There’s only one perfect man to walk this Earth.
I’m so glad I finally saw how unhappy I was .While decompressing after the divorce, I was 38years old, I learned too late in life what is important. 🙂
It’s never too late.
nope