Christmas is my favorite holiday without a doubt. When I was little it was all about the gifts, now my focus is on Jesus Christ. Sure, gifts are nice but that is not why I celebrate.
Melinda
Category: Family
What I’ve Learned In 61 Years Part 10
Fewer and fewer companies follow through on their commitments. We had a new grill delivered today and it required two people to haul away the old grill. They only sent one person and my husband had to lift the heavy old grill to the front of the house. I can be a hard ass but if you commit then follow through.
There is no reason for children to have a phone at school. They are a distraction to listening in class. Parents do not need to call to chit-chat or ask questions during school hours. If it’s something pressing, call the Principle. Some will say they need them in case of a school shooting, BS. The kids need to focus on the teacher and the directions given to them from the Safety Plan.
Give kids wings, they will build confidence by making their own choices.
These were heartbreaking news stories. Recently three small children were out after dark, I mean late night. All three didn’t go to the crosswalk and all were hit by cars. None lived. This a lesson for parents, young children do not need to be out alone after dark.
If you notice a different behavior in your kids, watch closely. Has their language changed? or running with a different crowd? Talking about dark subjects? This is a good time to check out their social media accounts and the people they follow. Many times the police have found that social media accounts have clues or even threats. This may give you a better idea of what is happening in their life. Help your child before they ruin their life and the lives of others. Most importantly keep all guns in the house with a safely lock on them and locked in a safe your kids do not know the combination to.
When you call a company ask and write their name down. Over the last month, my husband has been dealing with our new medical insurance company who’s giving a different wrong answer every time he calls. It makes it harder to bump up the call and share who you’ve talked to if you don’t have names. Today he was told that the system was broken. I’m sure that is not what she meant.
Melinda
Daily Daily Prompt
We spent most summers camping in a tent, it was a bit crowded with a family of six. We often went to one popular lake that was know for snakes hanging out in the trees. I walked around terrified every day.
I have no idea why this image is showing up.
Melinda
Let’s Rejoice On Easter Sunday
Helping Your Elderly Relatives Stay Independent
Watching an elderly relative suffer due to decreasing independence can be so hard to bear, but luckily you needn’t simply sit on the sidelines for much longer. There are several tips and tricks that you can utilize to help them gain back some of the independence they have lost, and it couldn’t be easier to get started today. So, if you would like to find out more, then read on!
Adapt Their Home
One of the easiest ways to help an elderly relative gain back some of their independence is by adapting their home. Leaving their home means leaving behind most of their treasured possessions along with the memories attached to the property, so avoiding such a scenario can be extremely beneficial for their mental health. Start by tackling the issue of mobility, as getting around safely may be the biggest struggle for your elderly relative. Install grab bars in frequently-traveled areas such as the hallway, as well as around the toilet and shower to ensure they can stand up without the risk of falling. Investing in a fold-up seat to go inside their shower can help to reduce the risk of slips and falls dramatically. Seeking out more ergonomic furniture may also be of benefit for your elderly relative, as getting into and out of bed may be difficult for them. Luckily you can source both beds and chairs that slowly rise up to lift the user onto their feet without any struggle, so this may be an option you wish to explore.
Offer Easy Access To Support
Sometimes the sole reason for an elderly individual moving into sheltered accommodation is a lack of access to support, so making sure your relative can seek help should they need it is absolutely vital. Take some time to identify their weaknesses, and aim to assist them in working around these issues productively rather than simply passing the burden onto someone else. If you find that your elderly relative struggles to make their own meals, don’t let them go hungry or risk their safety using cooking equipment; sign them up for a ‘meals on wheels’ service that provides fresh dishes delivered straight to their door to ensure their nutritional needs are met. If they live alone and need some company, they may benefit from the services of a live-in-care provider. They can move into your elderly relative’s home or work out a visiting schedule that allows them to provide care and attention, performing tasks such as laundry, cleaning, and cooking, as well as assisting with medication and socialization.
Helping your elderly relatives to stay independent has never been so simple when you can take the time to make the most of the brilliant ideas described above. Providing your family with the help they need to thrive in such a rewarding project, and they’ll no doubt appreciate your hard work and dedication. There’s no time like the present to adapt your elderly relative’s home and improve their access to essential support.
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
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9 Pieces of Practical Advice about Bullying
IDEAS.TED.COM
A teacher, psychologist, crisis-line supervisor and others share their suggestions for what you can do.
Bullying knows no borders — it occurs in every country in the world — and its impact can last long after the incidents end. For National Bullying Prevention Month, we asked people from the TED community who have firsthand experience of the problem to offer their best advice.
1. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness …
“Don’t think that letting someone else know you’re being bullied or asking them for help is a sign of weakness or that it’s a situation you should be able to handle on your own. Going through it alone isn’t a sign of strength on your part, because that’s what the bully wants. They want your isolation, they want you to feel helpless, and if they think they got you in that position, then they’re often emboldened. That was a mistake I made as a kid. It made things worse. When you don’t reach out, you feel like nobody understands what you’re going through and nobody can help you. Those monologues in your mind start getting louder.”
—Eric Johnson, sixth-grade teacher from Indiana and a TED-Ed Innovative Educator (TEDxYouth@BHS Talk: How do you want to be remembered?)
2. … And telling someone about being bullied is not snitching.
“Often, kids have this fear of what they call snitching. But if you feel significant stress when you come to school, if it’s too hard for you to come into the building, or if you have the fear that someone will bother you by saying something or touching you inappropriately, then you must tell someone. This is not snitching — you’re protecting yourself.”
—Nadia Lopez, principal of Mott Hall Bridges Academy, The Bronx, New York (TED Talk: Why open a school? To close a prison)
3. Surround yourself with allies.
“Bullies tend not to want to bully someone when that person is in a group, so make sure you’re with friends, people you trust and connect with. Knowing you have defenders around you who will stand up for you can really help.”
— Jen James, founding supervisor of the Crisis Text Line (Watch the TED Talk: How data from a crisis text line is changing lives from Crisis Text Line founder and CEO Nancy Lublin)
4. Try to pity, rather than hate, your bullies.
“I was bullied as a child, and I like to think the experience contributed to my sense of empathy. I want to see people treated with dignity, always. But for those who are being bullied, the key thing for them to remember is that bullying is not a show of strength but a show of weakness on the bully’s part. And if you can pity those who are bullying you — which I know is not so easy to do — then you can defend your inner self from their behavior.”
—Andrew Solomon, professor of clinical psychology at Columbia University Medical Center and author of Far from the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity and The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression (TED Talk: Love, no matter what)
5. It’s possible to triumph over bullies in your own mind.
“Fighting back on the inside can be as important as what happens on the outside. There was a study of 81 adults who were held as political prisoners in East Germany. They were subjected to mental and physical abuse, and decades after release, about two-thirds of the prisoners had struggled or were still struggling with post-traumatic stress disorder; one-third of the prisoners had not. Why? The smaller group had fought back in their own minds. Even though they complied with guards and signed false confessions, they prevailed on the inside in ways no one could see. Secretly, they refused to believe they were defeated, and they imagined that, sooner or later, they’d triumph.”
—Meg Jay, clinical psychologist and associate professor of education at the University of Virginia (TED Talk: Why 30 is not the new 20)
6. Focus on everything that’s great about you; others notice those things, too.
“If you’re being bullied, remind yourself of all the good and beautiful things about you. You, like most of us, are here to make the world a better place. Nobody is liked by everyone, so just because one bully or one group of bullies doesn’t like you doesn’t mean other people don’t see all your amazing qualities.”
–Shameron Filander, sixth grade student and member of a TED-Ed Club in Capetown, South Africa
7. The traits singled out by your bullies are the ones that make you the wonderfully singular person you are.
“Bullies think and think about us to come up with various ways to make us feel down. But whatever reason you’re bullied for, that’s exactly what makes you unique! Do they call you fat? Correct them: you are not fat; you are just easier to see! Do they say you have a big nose? Tell them you breathe better than other people do! Everything about you is unique, like nothing else in the world.”
–Donara Davtyan, college freshman and former member of TUMO TED-Ed Clubin Yerevan, Armenia
8. If you’re considering retaliating against your bullies, stop before you act.
“Pause for a moment, and understand that what you’re about to do or about to say can have long-range implications. What you do or say will be how you’re remembered. So think: how do you want to be remembered? As somebody who was kind or mean?”
–Eric Johnson, teacher
9. If you ever witness someone being bullied, show them your support.
“This can be in the moment or afterwards, and it can consist of sending them a text, an anti-bullying emoji, or asking them to sit with you. Stepping into a bullying situation can sometimes be helpful if handled in the right way, but that’s not always right for each situation or each upstander.”
— Monica Lewinsky, social activist (TED Talk: The price of shame)
Melinda
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Question Of The Day
Do you give out candy on Halloween? What about decorating?
Melinda
Question Of The Day
How old were you when you learned to walk?
I learned at 10 months old and probably learned by chasing after our dog.
Melinda
5 Ways To Help Your Teen As A New Driver
Has your teen just passed their driving test? It can be an extremely exciting time for them. Being able to drive and having the independence that comes with having their own car can be exhilarating. But for parents, it can be a time of increased worry and stress. This is only natural, especially when statistics show that young drivers cause 16% of all fatal car accidents in the US.
However, there are many different ways you can help your teen driver as they embark on their driving career to not only put your mind at ease but ensure they are safe too.
Read on for some tips on how to help your teen as a new driver.
Stay Calm
One of the best things when your teen starts driving alone is to stay calm. Whether you are with them or waiting at home. Remember how it felt to be a new driver, and use this to help boost your teen’s confidence. The more faith you have in them and their abilities, the calmer they will be on the road, with or without you. Remember, they have to pass a test and will have all of the basic skills and knowledge they need.
Talk About The Rules
There are driving rules and laws for a reason, and all of them ensure the safety of all road users. As a driver, your teen will now have to adhere to these laws. Keep your discussions out of the car; doing so while driving will only further distract them. Talk about the dangers of driving while under the influence, using a mobile phone when driving, and the number of distractions having passengers can cause. It can be a good idea to talk about their reaction to other drivers and how to react should they encounter road rage or other poor driving habits from other drivers on the road.
Car Maintenance
Maintaining a car is a great responsibility, and as such, having a good mechanic and some knowledge of the internal workings of an engine and components can serve them well in their driving career from teen to old age. A simple but essential step is to talk through all aspects of car maintenance, how their actions will affect the vehicle they are driving, and how safe it is. If your teen knows the common faults of the car they are driving and how to identify when something is wrong, they can call for help and be better prepared for breakdowns or getting repairs fixed quickly.
Car Safety
There is a lot involved in being a safe driver. Your teen needs to be safe on the road, but they also need to be confident that all their passengers and other road users are safe. Some of these issues might not be at the forefront of their minds for teens, especially in those first few weeks or months of driving, from the importance of everyone wearing seatbelts to the distraction of loud music and conversations to speeding and driving appropriately for different weather conditions. It can be a good idea to look into take an advanced driving class to improve their skills or ask them if they want you to ride them when driving after dark for the first time or in wet and windy weather conditions.
Emergency Responses
With nearly 20,000 car crashes daily on the roads in America, there is a high chance your teen may be involved in one at some point in their driving career or witness an accident. Knowing what to do should this occur can give them the tools they need to make the right decisions. From calling emergency services to documenting the scene and contacting their insurance company, these are vital tips they will need to know before an event, not after. Make sure they have all of their documents with them, are up to date with their insurance, have breakdown and recovery services they can contact, and know they can call you anytime in an emergency for help and support, not criticism.
Conclusion
Learning to drive is a rite of passage for many teens, and every driver can remember how it felt to finally get behind the wheel and onto the open road without relying on others to get from A to B. However, as parents, you can help your teen become a better driver by giving them the knowledge you have from your driving experience and the skills and tools they need to be a better and safer driver on the roads.
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
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Addiction Resources In America
Addiction Resources
Local Non Profit Addiction Treatment Directory
Addiction Center.com Find Rehab Clinics In Your Area
Recovery.Org Find Addiction Treatment Near You
Rehab Centers Nation Wide (Insurance Specific)
Help Guide.org – Addiction Information
Drug Abuse Resources for Parents
SMART Recovery.Org – Self Management and Recovery Training
To see the complete list of resources check out Organizations That Can Help.
Melinda
Researchers: Parents can help their children to face anxiety
KSAT.COM
Jared Hoehing, ProducerPublished:
Behavioral science expert gives some ways to help your child beat separation anxiety
NEW HAVEN, Conn. – According to the National Institutes of Health, the numbers of kids and adolescents struggling with anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions have been steadily on the rise. Cognitive-behavioral therapy, which teaches the child coping skills, and medication may help. But for some kids and their families, there is little relief. Now, researchers are studying a new method that helps parents help their children.
Bedtime for some families can become a struggle. But when the goodnight routine for Nicole Murphy’s son began to stretch for up to three hours, she knew she needed help with his separation anxiety.
“His little mind was always racing nonstop. So, it was kind of hard for him to shut that off, I think,” Nicole explained.
Eli Lebowitz, Ph.D., Psychologist, Yale School of Medicine Child Study Center, and his colleagues, developed a method of training parents to support anxious children. It’s called SPACE, or supportive parenting for anxious childhood emotions. Parents go through training to help their child face anxiety. Lebowitz says the first step is to show support and not downplay what their child is feeling.
“I get it. This is really hard, but I know you can handle it,” shared Dr. Lebowitz.
Lebowitz said parents also learn to help their children by not accommodating them. For example, a parent who would limit visitors for a child who gets anxious around strangers, or speaks for a child who gets nervous speaking, learns not to take those steps. In a study of 124 kids and their parents, the Yale researchers examined whether SPACE intervention was effective in treating children’s anxiety.
“Even though the children never met directly with the therapist and all the work was done through the parents, we found that SPACE was just as effective as CBT in treating childhood anxiety disorders,” stated Dr. Lebowitz.
The Murphy’s used the techniques learned through SPACE to coach their son through bedtime. Within a few weeks, he was falling asleep in 30 minutes.
“For us, it was like life-changing, honestly,” smiled Nicole.
Melinda
Repost
Elder Care Resources In America
Elder Care
- National Institute on Aging (NIA)
- Family Caregiver Alliance (FCA)
- Eldercare Locator
- AgingCare
- National Caregivers Library
- NextAvenue
- Administration for Community Living (ACL)
- Next Step in Care
- Caring.com
- Caregiver Action Network (CAN)
- Ageless Alliance: United Against Elder Abuse
- Commission on Law and Aging, American Bar Association
- Minnesota Elder Justice Center
- National Consumer Voice for Quality Long-term Care (formerly NCCNHR)
- Splaine Consulting
- retireguide.com/medicare/
For a complete list of resources visit Organizations That Can Help.
Melinda
Are You Worried About These Hidden Dangers Facing Your Kids?
As a parent, you are probably constantly worried about your kids, and that’s completely normal. You need to make sure that you feel as though your kids are safe both in and out of the home. That’s easier said than done, particularly when you consider how many dangers could impact your kids every day. So, what dangers are we thinking about here? Let’s explore some of the possibilities.
Car Trouble
It’s easy to forget how dangerous cars actually are. After all, you’re hurtling down a highway in a metal tin at about 70. Does that sound safe to you? While technology has evolved considerably to make cars safer, a lot can still go wrong. This is why it’s important to check your car regularly and recognize the signs that it might need a repair. Companies like Elite Automotive will be able to make sure that you can easily fix your car on a budget and ensure that it is safe for the road. You can also think about updating your vehicle to a newer model. When you purchase a later car, you can take advantage of driver-assist tech, the least advanced form of autonomous technology.
Water Woes
You probably don’t think too much about the water coming out of your tap. However, it could be hiding dangers that you haven’t considered. Research has found that most modern water supplies contain incredibly high levels of fluoride. This is the substance that is used in toothpaste, and it’s also used by water companies to clean it. The problem is that fluoride has been found to cause health issues when consumed. It has been linked to everything from brain tumors to cognitive decline. This is why you might want to consider investing in a water filter. The benefit of a water filter is that you can remove all the dangerous chemicals even if the water looks completely normal.
Stranger Danger
Finally, if there’s one worry that trumps all others for parents, it’s certainly the concern about strangers. You only have to read the news to know that the world isn’t safe for kids. There are a lot of people out there who should be considered a threat. To keep your kids safe, you might want to consider using trackers, particularly when they are playing outside independently. Trackers can be very discreet these days and look like accessories that kids wear all the time. These smart devices can even tell you when your child has left a location that you deem to be safe, and you are immediately alerted that they are in trouble. You will immediately be able to contact the authorities.
We hope this helps you understand some of the dangers that you need to be aware of as a parent. You mustn’t overlook these issues, as they can put your kids in serious jeopardy. However, if you take preemptive action, you can guarantee that these problems won’t be plaguing your mind any longer.
This is a collaborative Post
Melinda
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How to Encourage A Healthy Lifestyle For Your Kids
Every parent wants their kids to live a healthy and happy life, but they cannot expect their kids to understand all of this themselves. They are not the ones buying the food or paying for clubs and activities, which is why it’s so important for parents to know how to encourage a healthy lifestyle. If you want to ensure your kids grow up big and strong, consider these tips.
Make Health Living Accessible
Your kids will not be able to live a healthy lifestyle if you don’t make healthy living accessible. Filling the home with candies and fatty foods will not do anyone any favors, so it’s worth buying whole foods that are good for their development and mental well-being to ensure they get into good habits early. It can be challenging to change children’s habits as they grow older if they haven’t been exposed to fruits and vegetables already, so establishing this kind of diet early can make a world of difference.
Lead By Example
Similarly, parents need to lead by example. It’s not enough to push healthy foods or habits onto your kids if you don’t do the same, especially as they will look to you as an example. Besides this, you should also avoid common food mistakes that force kids to eat things they might not like, as this will only promote a negative association and could even impact their trust as they won’t feel comfortable eating what you serve them in case you’ve hidden other foods inside.
Encourage Sports and Activities
Healthy living is about what they eat and how they spend their time. Kids naturally need (and want) to burn off energy, so channeling this through sports and activities is an excellent way to introduce them to sports they may play for the rest of their lives. However, while you might want your child to be the next big football star, remember they might not share your interests. Instead, let them explore different sports to find one they love.
Create A Healthy Environment
A healthy home is a cornerstone of a healthy lifestyle, so understanding how to create this environment is essential. Keeping the space clean and tidy is vital, as is cultivating a positive and supportive environment. Let your kids feel comfortable sharing their stories and feelings, and ask about their day to ensure they can see the value in being open and honest about their lives rather than trying to hide things from you.
Familiarize Them With Doctors
Many kids can be scared of a doctor or dentist, but they need to understand how important regular healthcare and checkups are. You can help them by familiarizing them with medical professionals so they feel at ease. Besides typical doctors, treatment from physiotherapists, opticians, and chiropractic care are also important and can help your kids treat and overcome a variety of potential health issues as they grow up.
Healthy Living
Healthy living can seem tricky for many parents, especially if they don’t have the time to put together lavish meals or cannot afford to buy their kids the newest sports gear. Still, these tips can make it easier for you to establish a healthy base that teaches your kids all they need to know about a healthy lifestyle.
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
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Blogger Highlight-Awakening Wonders
Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series. I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their site with you. This week, we highlight Awakening Wonders. Mary is a fellow Texan, where everything is bigger. HAHA. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying. Mary is multi-talented, from her smooth writing to her photography and other creative endeavors. I look forward to each post; she leaves me with a feeling of warmth.
Awakening Wonders
Since early childhood I have had an obsession with the creative process, which always took me on new, enchanted pathways. As a result, there were some stumbles and tumbles along the way, but I always managed to land on my feet! I grew up in southern Minnesota with the magnificent countryside as my creative playground. As a results, I was free to wander, ponder, and dream.
Questions I Asked Mary
M. What are your favorite types of posts?
M. I enjoy posts that are uplifting and positive based while inspiring a reader to have a better day! And I connected to your blog with that in mind!!
M. When you left corporate life behind, what was your goal?
M. Well, I didn’t retire, I just rewired and am enjoying the good life!
My favorite post from 2024
Legacy of Love . . .
The post reminisces while looking at old photos of family members and our memories of them. It reminded me of my grandparents and the love we share.
Be sure to stop by, tell Mary hello, and read through her archives. You’ll be glad you did.
Melinda
Good Times On The Highway To Hell Part 5
More Antics On My Journey In Life
On the way home from work, I vomited in my new Land Rover. I could not pull over fast enough; vomit was everywhere, and I didn’t have any napkins. Once I arrived home, the clean-up began. It was getting late, and I stopped to find I had locked myself out of the house. I was living in a new neighborhood and only had three neighbors. I found a light on, and asked if I could borrow a phone book, and she said yes. Bet I smelled bad, and this was the first time I met her. Even after a professional cleaning, it smelled, and I traded it for something else.
My friends and I went to dinner to celebrate my 33rd birthday. Out of the blue, I got a tattoo and a belly button ring. Several of us drove to a bad part of town because they wanted to watch me get the tattoo. Thank goodness I was drunk. The sign said not to be drunk, but at that age, I was on top of the world.
FYI, the belly button piercing hurt so bad, like your guts were being pulled out. After six months of babying the spot, I took it out.
My gramps had Prostate and Bladder Cancer; the two pushing against each other caused him to have to pee about every 10-15 minutes. My cousin was in a small plane crash and was in really bad shape; Gramps had to go see him. The problem was that the hospital was 1.5 hours away. Knowing that we would be stopping along the way, I took an empty Gatorade bottle for emergencies. I’m flying down the highway close to 100 miles an hour, and Gramps says I have to pee now! I had to push the accelerator all the way down to find an exit. I was Speed Racer! I found a spot, and he peed in the bottle. It wasn’t funny at the time, but it sure is now.
Melinda
Repost
Good Times On Highway To Hell
I completely forgot about the original Good Times On the Highway To Hell and had to share it with you. There a plenty of chuckles in this one.
My brother was my best friend and I have hundreds of great memories. I laugh thinking how we came up with some of our adventures. Looking at the worst years of my life and finding happiness is liberating. These memories made my life feel normal. Some are a chuckle, others a belly roll, and most are just things kids do. I was often the mastermind, no time to waste. I hope it will brighten your day. Maybe spark some memories of your own.
We put sheets and blankets over our double-long clothesline making tepees to hide in. We could get a good thirty minutes of fun before having to look for real fun/trouble. Our dog Sandy got in on the action by pulling the tepees down.
While preparing my stepfather’s house for sale. My mother had finished moping the floor. With no thought on our part, we put pop tarts in our soda and they blew all over the newly mopped kitchen.
My brother was checking out a new Christmas BB Gun and shot me in the leg.
We always fought over who got to lick the cake icing bowl.
My Favorite We didn’t know why but our grandma was babysitting that day. Beyond bored, we start walking down the alley. My brother finds a bag of rotting potatoes, perfect for trouble-making. Our neighbors had a pool and were not home, we threw potatoes in the pool, and a dog bowl, on the house and back door. Little did we know our grandma was looking out the kitchen window watching us. We came into the house like nothing new. We had to wait until neighbors got home, apologize for what we’d done, and clean up the mess. It was nasty to clean but it was worth it.
Popping Bubble Wrap was a huge treat, we would fight over who got the bigger piece, We would lay in the front yard watching the stars popping our bubbles.
I would take Turtle Wax from the garage and mix in a little dirt to see how fast it would eat through a pie pan. Dixie cups melted quickly but pie pans took longer. It was difficult to explain the stains on the picnic table.
I never wore shoes unless forced. My grandfather came over and I was my usual jumping-around self. Looking at the flowers of the weeds in our yard. I enjoyed the simple things. Then I let out a scream, I stepped on a Bubble Bee. My grandfather said “Pud” you’ll be okay. I wandered off to find the bee. It was so pretty and I’d never seen that kind of bee. My grandfather called me “Pud” all my life, my guess is that it was an old people’s term of endearment.
At 4-5 years old, I was across the street playing and my mother started yelling there’s a tornado coming. I didn’t hear her so went to the middle of the street to see what was so important. A tornado is coming get in the house now. OK. My dad was at work so we gathered around the television. It wasn’t long before I had to go to the bathroom. I was so scared, I would not go because the Tornado Man might get me. An important note: my Easy Bake Oven went with the wind.
This was great, my brother came from the store with gum with a small poster in it. He asked if he could put it on the wall, NO! He snuck into her bedroom found a bobby pin, plugged it in an electrical socket, and caught the carpet in his bedroom on fire.
I matured early…..getting my mouth washed out with soap for saying fuck at 4 years old.
We’re on a teeter-totter at our grandparent’s house, I was in the air and spotted a snake. I was screaming like crazy. Gramps came back with a hole but I would not get off the swing. I still hate snakes.
When our teeth were loose we put a string around it, tied it to the doorknob, and then slammed the door. One time it took three tries to get one out. The tooth fairy didn’t leave any extra money.
Gramps and I would have a watermelon seed spitting contest, who could get seed all over the picnic table.
One of the methods of discipline my grandparents used was to go outside and get a switch. If you brought a wimpy one, it was back outside for another.
My grandparents would take us to Ponchos, and we raised the flag for more until we exploded.
We had pampas grass with long razor blades, on each side of our driveway. We made a bike ramp, the goal was to jump over both pampas grass, and the driveway and not get cut to shreds.
Singing to the radio with my dad driving 90 miles an hour, smoking a cigar with windows rolled up and constantly pushing buttons on the radio while changing lanes. We didn’t worry about his driving it was the cheap cigars we complained about.
I’m blessed to have good memories of my childhood.
XO M
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Things I’m Loving-Household, Beauty, And Pets
Here are a few products I’m loving right now. I hope you find a product to add to your household or self-care routine. The list may also give you ideas for a surprise for friends and family. Most products are found on Amazon. I’m not an Amazon Affiliate, I do not make a commission on anything you buy, and using the links does not cost you more.
Verilux HappyLight Lumi Plus
Light Therapy Lamp with 10,000 Lux, UV-Free, LED Bright White Light with Adjustable Brightness, Countdown Timer, & Detachable Stand – Boost Mood, Sleep, and Focus.
Customizable Lighting Experience: Personalize your light therapy with 3 brightness settings and a convenient countdown timer programmable up to 1 hour in 15-minute increments.
I have been feeling down and some of it may be because it’s Winter and there is less light. Therapy Lights are a great way to get extra light in that they mimic sunlight. I use mine for an hour a day.
Andalou Naturals Body Butter
Kukui Cocoa Nourishing Body Cream, 8 Oz, Shea Butter, Cocoa Butter & Argan Oil for Dry Skin, Vegan.
Nourishing Body Butter: This luscious body butter blends shea and cocoa butter with argan oil to nourish, smooth and soften the appearance of dry skin. This rich, nourishing lotion helps hydrate.
This was purchased at Whole Foods, an Amazon grocery store, but Amazon may also carry the product.
Visit the Andalou Naturals Store
This body butter is the best! It comes in a tube and it’s creamy and soft, soaks in quickly, and leaves no greasy residue. The cocoa smell is delicious but not overwhelming and it’s long lasting.
HENCKELS Razor-Sharp Steak Knife Set of 8
German Engineered Informed by 100+ Years of Mastery, Black
- SET INCLUDES: Set of eight
- SHARP BLADE: Large serrations containing smaller serrations ensure sharpness
- QUALITY MANUFACTURING: 4.5 inches steel blades will stay sharp for years
- BALANCED KNIFE: Triple riveted handles provide strength and longevity
- EASY CLEAN UP: Dishwasher safe; hand washing recommended
Our cheap knife set had seen better days. When I was searching for an upgraded set, not an expensive set, they had to go in the dishwasher. We have a set of expensive Henkels but don’t use them because they have to be hand-washed, I used them when I was single. This set was at a great price point and the blades are sharp.
Bedsure Calming Dog Bed for Small Dogs
Donut Washable Small Pet Bed, 23 inches Anti-Slip Round Fluffy Plush Faux Fur Large Cat Bed, Fits up to 25 lbs Pets, Camel.
Soothing Support: This donut dog bed is ideal for pets who love to curl up. The raised rim snuggles your cat or dog, offering optimal head and neck support and a sense of security. Premium ultra-soft filling offers joint and muscle pain relief.
I have two of these beds and our dogs love them, I often find them asleep with their heads over the edge sleeping. The fabric is shaggy, soft and warm. I put one of their blankets in there and they love it.
Lesure Waterproof Puppy Blanket for Small Dogs
Washable Double Sided Dog Blankets with Warm Jacquard Shag and Soft Sherpa Fleece, Pet Cat Blanket for Couch Protection, 3D Textured Cloud, Blue.
Cuddle-Ready Comfort: One up your snuggle game with Lesure’s waterproof blanket! The feel of soothing Sherpa on one side and an extra plush Jacquard shag on the flip side promises your furry friend’s ultimate warmth and coziness. Light as a feather, this blanket shields your beloved pets from the chill and damp, keeping them toasty and comfy.
The blanket is two-sided and my dogs love the sherpa side, it’s warm and comfy. Our little dog has not shown interest in blankets before but she is attached to this one.
Melinda
Therapists’ Strategies for Dealing With Difficult Family Members
No one knows how to push your buttons like your family does. Here are some strategies for navigating challenging family dynamics and setting boundaries to help you get through difficult family gatherings unscathed.
Dreading an upcoming family gathering with your relatives? Learn from experts on how to navigate get-togethers with challenging family members, set healthy boundaries, and use confrontation as a positive tool to make the next family reunion a lot more bearable.
For many people, getting together with family can be a contentious time. At dinnertime, you may get into family drama about politics and current events. And then comes dessert, along with the open forum about why you haven’t settled down yet. (But Aunt Edna knows a nice boy you should meet!) And on yes, what exactly are you doing with your career these days? Because your perfect cousin Jennifer is a surgeon. Did you know that?
The election might be over, but the politically charged conversations at the family table are far from done. And then comes dessert, along with the open forum about why you haven’t settled down yet. (But Aunt Edna knows a nice boy you should meet!) And, oh yes, what exactly are you doing with your career these days? Because your perfect cousin Jennifer is a surgeon. Did you know that?
Ah, family. It’s not that they’re toxic — it’s just that they’re not always your cup of tea, yet you still like (maybe even love?) them enough to pay them a visit.
But what if this year could look more like a Norman Rockwell painting and less like the Jerry Springer show?
While we can’t make any promises, we do have some strategies that will help you stay as unruffled as possible — even when Aunt Edna asks for the fiftieth time why you aren’t married yet.
Take Time to Prepare
Before you go, do some journaling. Think and write about the issues in your family that tend to be the most triggering, especially during the holidays or other so-called “special” occasions that can feel anything but special.
“What you don’t want to do is to get drawn in, and that’s really easy for all of us because no one can push our buttons like our family members. They know us, grew up with us, know our weak links, so they will consciously or unconsciously push those buttons,” says Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a clinical psychologist and author of Joy from Fear, whom DailyOM interviewed for this story.
Use your journal to write down all the hot spots that you know will trigger you, such as unwanted comments about your appearance, career, love life, or political beliefs. “When you’re more aware of these hot spots and how you will navigate them, you will be able to approach them from a place of observing and not judging,” Dr. Manly explains. “That’s an important piece. When we judge, we get ‘hooked in’ and our emotions get hot.”
Boundaries will only be as strong as your willingness to follow through on the consequences if your boundaries are crossed.
While you have your journal out, your next task is to begin the crucial work of setting boundaries, starting with a list of what you value most.
“Boundaries are easier to create when you know what you’re protecting,” Kathryn Ely, a licensed professional counselor and founder of Empower Counseling & Coaching, tells DailyOM.
Ely suggests using a framework where you journal about your value in each of the following eight categories: mental health and physical well-being; your intimate love relationship; parenting and family; friends and community; career and finances; spirituality and faith; learning and self-growth; and adventure and leisure.
“When you determine what is most important to you in [these eight categories] of your life, that becomes your compass. Every action either takes you closer [to] or farther away [from what you value]. It becomes your guide for the boundaries you need,” says Ely.
How to Deal With a Disrespectful Family Member
Now, here’s the key part: Boundaries will only be as strong as your willingness to follow through on the consequences if your boundaries are crossed. “When you’re creating boundaries, it’s imperative to know the consequences. It does no good to create a boundary if you don’t enforce it,” says Ely.
That means clearly communicating with challenging family members what that boundary is and what will happen if they don’t respect it.
Manly suggests a “three-strike rule” when communicating and enforcing boundaries.
If someone crosses your line, make it clear that they have crossed it and politely ask that they not do it again. If they do, you will leave. (Strike one.)
If it happens again, remind them that they have crossed your line and to please not do it again. If they do, you will leave. (Strike two.)
If it happens for the third time, that’s strike three, and it is crucial that you follow through with your ultimatum. Make it clear this was the third time and that you are now leaving. Also, make it clear that you will be taking a week (one month, three months, however long you decide) of silence from them. And it’s okay to need more time even after that time passes, says Manly.
How to Deal With Challenging Parents and In-Laws
Honesty about your feelings and strong communication will always be your best allies when it comes to dealing with parents or in-laws, especially when they still treat you as a child and have trouble respecting how you have changed and grown. And it’s best to tackle that elephant in the room prior to the event.
One of Ely’s tactics is to ground your tough conversations in a place of love and respect. This is particularly helpful to remember if you’ve had negative experiences with confrontation in the past. But, as Ely notes, confrontation can be very beneficial to a relationship when you approach it with compassion and honesty.
For example, says Ely, if you have a parent who has difficult expectations of you, the confrontation might look like this:
“I love you and I’m sure you mean well, but when you say things like x, y, or z, it makes me feel like my results are more important to you than how I feel as a person, and that’s not okay with me. We’re going to have to do things differently moving forward. If this happens [insert the thing they say or do here], then this will happen [insert what the consequence is for breaking that boundary here].”
Another helpful strategy is to role-play as many scenarios and conversations that could arise during an event with difficult parents or in-laws ahead of time. You can do this with your partner, a trusted friend, or even yourself in front of a mirror.
“With family, it’s hard to keep our emotional regulation in check,” says Manly. “[Role play] gives you a chance to practice in a safe environment and helps you determine at what point you’ll walk away.”
Manly also suggests practicing this one simple, yet effective response to disarm any unwelcome comments: “I see your perspective. Thank you for sharing that.”
How to Deal With Difficult Siblings
Having grown up under the same roof, siblings have a way of getting under each other’s skin like no one else can.
Something to help keep your emotional regulation in check around challenging family members such as siblings is to identify what they may use as “bait” to rock the boat, notes Manly. Perhaps it was a nickname they tease you with or a memory they know will make you hot with embarrassment.
When you can recognize that and calmly detach yourself from their “hook” by reminding them of your boundary (and perhaps giving them a “strike”), the better you’ll be able to stay composed and in control.
Also, it’s useful to recognize that all of your emotions are good, explains Manly. It’s how you use those emotions that can make an outcome either positive or negative. Anger, for example, is “telling us that our boundaries are being crossed,” she says.
When you feel that anger, recognize it or — better yet — communicate it. One way to do that: “I feel angry [or hurt] when you say that. I would prefer you do this [insert your desired outcome] in the future,” says Manly.
Again, don’t be afraid to follow through with your three-strike rule if your boundary isn’t being respected.
Ways to Cope With Extended-Family Issues
One of the best ways to deal with extended family? Step into the background and become “a fly on the wall,” suggests Manly. Stay quiet and observe the family dynamics, the conversations, what “bait” is triggering other people. Being an observer rather than a participant will help you detach yourself from any difficult behavior they might be exhibiting and see it as an extension of their own baggage.
Manly also suggests taking timeouts as often as needed. If you’re feeling triggered (but aren’t ready to make an exit quite yet), find a quiet place for a deep breath, perhaps in the kitchen.
“I love being in the kitchen and being the first person to clear the plates,” Manly says with a laugh. “Especially for introverts, going to the kitchen for a timeout, which is my go-to, is absolutely okay and healthy because you’re saying, I’m getting overloaded. You’re still part of the gathering, but you get your peace and quiet. Or go for a short walk. A lot of this is about self-care.”
Focus on What You Want
Is there anyone in your family you actually enjoy seeing and having a conversation with? Be clear about what you want from a gathering on a personal level and make that your focus.
“Let what you want be the driving factor, not what you don’t want, so that [challenging] person doesn’t get all the power and ruin the occasion for you,” says Ely. “Ask yourself: ‘What do I want to say that I did at the end of this [event]? Who is the person I want to be in this situation?’ And then refuse to let those [challenging] people get in your way of doing that, even if you have to step outside or take a timeout — whatever you need to do in that situation to keep your focus on the positive parts for you.”
It doesn’t even have to be a person. The positive thing you focus on can also be your mom’s apple pie — whatever it takes to make it through. And knowing that you got through a challenging family event with both your self-respect and sanity intact will make that apple pie even sweeter.
Melinda
Happy Valentines
Melinda
Financial Planning For Life’s Emergencies
Making plans for the future is something that’s natural to do. It keeps you moving forward, helps you stay motivated, and makes you work harder too. But life can be unpredictable, and sometimes it’s those unexpected events that can bring the most difficulty, especially financially.
Having a plan for emergency situations can help your family stay afloat, even when things are difficult. Take a look at the following tips to help you get your finances in order and feel prepared for whatever might come your way.
Build up emergency savings
Having an emergency fund can bring you a lot of benefits, serving as a cushion if you ever face a financial emergency. Being unable to work or facing unexpected medical expenses can really hit your finances, but your emergency fund will see you through.
It’s worth reading all about emergency funds to learn more about them and to see how to get one started.
Consider expanding or adding value to your home
Your home is one of your biggest investments, and you never know when you might need to lean on it in the future. By expanding or renovating your home, you could increase its value, giving you a nest egg for the future.
Another reason to consider expanding your home is to cope with future situations. You may need to take care of an elderly parent or support a loved one after an accident, and additional space could help make things a little easier.
Get insurance that provides extra protection
There are different types of insurance that can help you plan for future emergencies. Health insurance is a must to make sure you’re covered against accidents and illnesses while having some life insurance can be critical for your family if the worst were to happen.
There is also insurance in place to help you should you need to take a leave of absence from work. Explore the different levels of cover that are out there to make sure you’ve got all the protection you need.
Have a plan for your retirement
Have you worked out a financial plan for your retirement? It can help you work out how much money you’ll need to live on once you’ve finished work. Making investments and savings now can benefit you a lot in the future when that money becomes necessary.
While working out your retirement plan, you’ll need to consider different possibilities, including if you’re faced with ill health. Home health care and other expenses can have a big impact on your future finances, so you’ll want to plan for them, just in case. With a retirement plan in place, you won’t have to worry about your future.
You can never predict where life will take you, but it’s good to have a plan in place so that your future is taken care of. Careful financial planning will put your mind at ease so that you can focus on enjoying every moment.
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
Repost
Book Review For Back Yourself By Lildonia Lawrence
I want to thank Andrea Marchiano, Managing Editor at Trigger Publishing for sending me Back Yourself by Lildonia Lawrence for review. The publish date is April. The book is about Lildonia’s experiences with racism, the racism she’s seen, and she shares a traumatic experience that gave her the idea for the book.
My Thoughts
Lildonia has been working as a mental health and well-being coach since 2010 and she has experienced racism herself. This particular day cemented the idea for this book. Lildonia went to the nearby Recreation Center to use the hot tub, she had encountered verbal abuse in the way of racial slurs in the past but on this Monday there were eight men and two women already there. She took her place and these thugs ripped into her until she was crying, her teacher came over to see if she could help and they started demeaning the teacher the same way.
One mission of the book is to educate people on how black people and people from other countries with dark skin are treated. She counseled students at university and heard many stories of how people were new to the school and the dorm hall was all white people. He tried to mingle and introduce himself but he was not accepted by his classmates, leaving him feeling very alone and frustrated.
Another case study was on a man who started a new job in Italy. He was a black man who had been adopted by an Italian father and a French mother. When he told his co-workers that he was from Italy his boss said so-so Italian. The boss never let up.
There is a lot to learn from the book even if you haven’t experienced racism.
We live in a multicultural world where everyone needs to be treated equally. Many people can make offensive or racist comments and not know it, that’s when it’s time to extend some grace and not admonishment.
About Trigger Publishing
Our mission
At Trigger Publishing, our mission is to empower individuals on their mental health journey through the power of lived experience. We are dedicated to publishing real stories by real people, showing our readers that they are not alone and that recovery is possible. Our books and digital solutions, available through our parent brand Trigger Hub, provide hope, support, and practical tools for mental wellness.
Melinda
Making Sure Your Medical Care Is Safe and Sound
When you’re a parent, the last thing that you want to worry about is whether or not your kids are receiving quality medical care. Unfortunately, there are many instances where people have gotten subpar care because they didn’t know their rights.
It’s essential to be proactive and ensure that your family has access to medical treatment while also ensuring it is safe and sound. In this blog post, you will get information on how to do just that!
Have Regular Checkups
Having regular checkups is something that everybody should do. Even if you feel well, it is always good to make sure your body is functioning the way it should be and take steps towards any issues before they become serious problems.
If, for example, your family has a history of certain conditions like cancer or diabetes, regular checkups are something that everyone in your family needs to do regardless of their age or health status. Checkups will allow doctors and nurses to catch things early on while still fixing them efficiently instead of waiting until more extensive damage is done.
Always Be Keen and Ask Questions
Asking questions is essential. Your doctor will not think you are troublesome, and it is their job to answer your questions anyway! If they do not, ask another doctor until someone can provide satisfying answers that give you peace of mind. The same goes for nurses and other medical professionals: the more information all parties have available about your treatment plan, the better care everyone gets as a result.
If something goes wrong due to a breach on the doctor’s part, you can always seek legal advice from a medical malpractice attorney to help you acquire damages for violation. By doing so, you will not be negligent about your medical rights.
Ensure That Your Medical Rights Are Respected
Your healthcare providers should understand that you are a vital part of the medical team. You should ask questions and communicate with them about any concerns you have without feeling judged. Staff members at hospitals and clinics should treat you with respect.
When doctors order tests for you as a patient, they need to explain what they are for you to make informed decisions. If there’s something wrong with how things work in this area, speak up! Like other rights citizens enjoy, your right to advocate for yourself will only strengthen if you exercise frequently.
Other medical rights include having access to quality healthcare providers and receiving advice on navigating the system. You also have the right to get satisfactory answers to your questions concerning insurance coverage and everything you need to be an active participant in making good choices about taking control of your well-being.
Conclusion
In conclusion, it is crucial to make sure that your medical care providers do everything they can to protect you from harm. Remember, this means not just getting treatment for a severe injury or illness — it also includes making sure you have all the information and resources available to take steps toward preventing health issues before they become emergencies.
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
Repost
Good Times On The Highway to Hell *Part 3
Another blast from the past that I thought you would get a kick out of. You can read Part 2 here.
At five years old I loved my baton and was quite good. One day I got mad at my mother and bashed several holes in my closet door. There went the baton and the dream. No anger issues here!
A large group of friends and I would tube down the Nacogdoches River every year. It’s a 6-8 hour trip if you do the full stretch. There is a dangerous waterfall along the way. In previous years I would get out with others and haul the beer coolers around the waterfall. It was so hard on my back. One year I decided to go over the waterfall. As I came over to the other side people were taking photos, clapping, and cheering me on, I was acting like I won a marathon, then someone said to look down, no more two pieces bathing suits after that.
This is one story I debated telling in case my brother ever reads my blog. He was about six and taking a bath. He starts yelling for me to come in the bathroom, I hurried in to find he had found a washer and put it on his penis. I’m trying to pull the thing off, you know the rest of the story. I gave up and left him to figure it out
I wore a beautiful white and light-flowered long dress for a school formal and had a florist make a head flower wreath that matched my dress. I thought it looked beautiful, everyone kept calling me Mother Earth. I didn’t take it well at the time, today that would be a huge compliment.
My granny watched my boyfriend and his friend paper our house, never interrupted them, just enjoyed with pleasure. The next morning she wakes me up at 6am to go clean it all up before the neighbors see.
In my bedroom, there was a street light, a street sign that said Goodnight, and 12 orange cones. Granny kept asking where this stuff was coming from. It was on the street was not a lie.
My girlfriend and I took all the orange cones and scattered them randomly in the neighborhood of a certain person on our shit list that week. It was a great payback.
In high school, I spent an hour on my hair every morning. Granny was the alarm clock for the household. One day she overslept and there was only time to dress and go to school. I said I can’t go to school today unless I do my hair. Gramps blew a gasket, “school was more important than my hair, you’re going to school!!” I started washing my hair in the sink, we didn’t have a shower. By the time I came out of the bathroom to blow dry hair granny managed to help Gramps understand how important a girl’s hair is in high school. Yeah, Granny!!!!!!!
I like to end with my favorite story.
I was in love with a Purple Elephant pantsuit my granny made. During recess, I tell the teacher I have to go to the bathroom. No, she said go play. A few minutes later I’m back begging to go to the bathroom, NO again, go play. The third time she said No I said “I’ll use the bathroom right here”. To her surprise I had diarrhea, it ruined my favorite suit, and she never even said sorry.
Melinda
Repost
Good Times On Highway To Hell *Part 2*
Childhood antics that landed my brother and me in trouble.
I have to start with my favorite story, you’ll get a better idea of who I am. At recess, in third grade, I told the teacher I HAD to go to the bathroom. No, go back and play. Back to teacher a few minutes later I HAVE TO GO! You’re just saying that go play. I begged the teacher to let me go a few minutes later, NO. I said okay and popped my pants right in front of her. And that ended the life of my favorite purple elephant bell bottom suit.
Gramps stopped to pick up bread leaving us in-car, I may have been seven. The car was a standard on the column, I was playing like Gramps driving and somehow got the car in neutral. We were rolling out onto a major street. I hopped out trying to get the car to stop, luckily a man stopped to help about the time Gramps rounded the corner. He was in shock, we didn’t get a switch.
My youngest brother was playing on the sidewalk in front of a girl’s house. They were laughing loudly and screaming. The family owned a Saint Bernard which was protective of the girl. The dog jumped the fence, grabbed my brother by the back slinging him side to side. My older brother grabbed a two-by-four, hitting the dog many times, it would not let go and it turned to bite his arm.
We got a new puppy, and the kids were so in love. So much in love, all four kids woke up in the night a fed the dog a piece of bologna. Made the dog so sick.
My girlfriend’s yard had a slope where we would lie down and throw apples at cars until a man got out a threatened us.
My stepfather really loved boating, the problem was he knew nothing about boats. Our speed boat couldn’t pull up a skier, our houseboat was so huge he had to call a tow truck to get out of the lake.
There was a small drainage ditch in the neighborhood where we would fish for crayfish. If we caught enough, we would fry them up, yummy. I hate to think of what was in the water.
M
Repost
Question Of The Day
How did you learn to drive?
My Gramps took me to the river bottoms to teach me driving skills. I failed miserably at parallel parking. He took two metal trash cans with us, and with each attempt, I knocked the cans over.
Melinda
Good Times On Highway To Hell Part 1
Miss Trouble at six years old.
My brother was my best friend and I have hundreds of great memories. I laugh thinking how we came up with some of our adventures. Looking at the worst years of my life and finding happiness is liberating. These memories made my life feel normal. Some are a chuckle, others a belly roll, and most are just things kids do. I was often the mastermind, no time to waste. I hope it will brighten your day. Maybe spark some memories of your own.
We put sheets and blankets over our double-long clothesline making tepees to hide in. We could get a good thirty minutes of fun before having to look for real fun/trouble. Our dog Sandy got in on the action by pulling the tepees down.
While preparing my stepfather’s house for sale. My mother had finished moping the floor. With no thought on our part, we put pop tarts in our soda and they blew all over the newly mopped kitchen.
My brother was checking out a new Christmas BB Gun and shot me in the leg.
We always fought over who got to lick the cake icing bowl.
My Favorite We didn’t know why but our grandma was babysitting that day. Beyond bored, we start walking down the alley. My brother finds a bag of rotting potatoes, perfect for trouble-making. Our neighbors had a pool and were not home, we threw potatoes in the pool, and a dog bowl, on the house and back door. Little did we know our grandma was looking out the kitchen window watching us. We came into the house like nothing new. We had to wait until neighbors got home, apologize for what we’d done, and clean up the mess. It was nasty to clean but it was worth it.
Popping Bubble Wrap was a huge treat, we would fight over who got the bigger piece, We would lay in the front yard watching the stars popping our bubbles.
I would take Turtle Wax from the garage and mix in a little dirt to see how fast it would eat through a pie pan. Dixie cups melted quickly but pie pans took longer. It was difficult to explain the stains on the picnic table.
I never wore shoes unless forced. My grandfather came over and I was my usual jumping-around self. Looking at the flowers of the weeds in our yard. I enjoyed the simple things. Then I let out a scream, I stepped on a Bubble Bee. My grandfather said “Pud” you’ll be okay. I wandered off to find the bee. It was so pretty and I’d never seen that kind of bee. My grandfather called me “Pud” all my life, my guess is that it was an old people’s term of endearment.
At 4-5 years old, I was across the street playing and my mother started yelling there’s a tornado coming. I didn’t hear her so went to the middle of the street to see what was so important. A tornado is coming get in the house now. OK. My dad was at work so we gathered around the television. It wasn’t long before I had to go to the bathroom. I was so scared, I would not go because the Tornado Man might get me. An important note: my Easy Bake Oven went with the wind.
This was great, my brother came from the store with gum with a small poster in it. He asked if he could put it on the wall, NO! He snuck into her bedroom found a bobby pin, plugged it in an electrical socket, and caught the carpet in his bedroom on fire.
I matured early…..getting my mouth washed out with soap for saying fuck at 4 years old.
We’re on a teeter-totter at our grandparent’s house, I was in the air and spotted a snake. I was screaming like crazy. Gramps came back with a hole but I would not get off the swing. I still hate snakes.
When our teeth were loose we put a string around it, tied it to the doorknob, and then slammed the door. One time it took three tries to get one out. The tooth fairy didn’t leave any extra money.
Gramps and I would have a watermelon seed spitting contest, who could get seed over the picnic table.
One of the methods of discipline my grandparents used was to go outside and get a switch. If you brought a wimpy one, it was back outside for another.
My grandparents would take us to Ponchos, and we raised the flag for more until we exploded.
We had pampas grass with long razor blades, on each side of our driveway. We made a bike ramp, the goal was to jump over both pampas grass, and the driveway and not get cut to shreds.
Singing to the radio with my dad driving 90 miles an hour, smoking a cigar with windows rolled up and constantly pushing buttons on the radio while changing lanes. We didn’t worry about his driving it was the cheap cigars we complained about.
I’m blessed to have good memories of my childhood.
XO M
Report from 2015
Book Review For Between By Gemma & Leo Thelford
I want to thank Andrea Marchiano, Managing Editor at Trigger Publishing for sharing the book Between for review. The release date is February 4th, 2025. Between is a memoir of gender transition by a mother and her son. The book helps us learn the challenges they both faced and their mission is to break down the stigma and educate those who have questions about Transgender.
My Thoughts
Gemma and Leo Thelford are brutally honest in sharing their story, the good, the bad, and the ugly. It’s important to remember that Leo comes from a loving family that supports him. His father has a difficult time during the transition due to a lack of knowledge and his own stigma. His younger sibling had a difficult time wrapping his head around it. The journey was difficult but the family worked through it together.
For the purpose of this book, it’s the story between Leo and his mother. Gemma and Leo write their own chapters and it really helped the dialogue sink in because you have both of their thoughts on a subject.
What do you say when your 11-year-old daughter says she’s a boy? Between is a complex story of a daughter explaining to her mother that she doesn’t feel like a girl. With honest conversations and research Gemma began to understand the road her daughter may be facing and took an active role in each step of the way.
Their story warms my heart because they had the love and trust to make this huge change in their life.
Between is one of the most interesting books I’ve read and it answered many of my questions.
I have worked with Andrea for years and have learned from every book I’ve read.
About Trigger Publishing
Our mission
At Trigger Publishing, our mission is to empower individuals on their mental health journey through the power of lived experience. We are dedicated to publishing real stories by real people, showing our readers that they are not alone and that recovery is possible. Our books and digital solutions, available through our parent brand Trigger Hub, provide hope, support, and practical tools for mental wellness.
Melinda
New Orleans Will Rise Again
New Orleans has seen many tragedies throughout it’s history and no matter how bleak the situations looked at the time, the soul of New Orleans came together and bounced back. We have to process our emotions, anger and grieve, once we grieve, keep in mind the good memories, the conversations and the kindness, that is the memory you want.
Our hearts are broken now, but once we grieve, we can look for joy in life.
Melinda
New Year’s Eve Music Warm Up
Let’s see what type of party music I can curate at 61 years old, don’t expect current music because I don’t know any. Maybe we’ll call this an oldies music party. :)
Commodores – Brickhouse (Live)
Kool & The Gang – Get Down On It
Michael Jackson – Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough (Official Video)
Bee Gees – Stayin’ Alive (Official Music Video)
Rocky – Eye of The Tiger
Flashdance – What A Feeling (S.Martin Remix 2019)
Enjoy New Year’s Eve, have a great time but don’t drink and drive.
Melinda
lookingforthelight.blog 