This is a previous post I feel is important to shine a light on for Mental Health Awareness Month.

Some states like Colorado have what’s called a Red Gun Law. It basically allows someone who is concerned that a person may harm themselves or others to go before a judge and if warranted, have their weapons taken away for 30 days. This type of law could save many lives, in that 30 days, you might be able to get your loved one or friend the help they so desperately need.

5/30/21

Melinda

My father committed suicide in 1992 after a long struggle with mental illness, he was 52 years old. This post isn’t about how to prevent suicide, or that it’s preventable, this post is about what is left behind after a person commits suicide.

September is Suicide Prevention Month and I’ve struggled with what to write. I do believe strongly that as a society we have to talk about suicide. As much as I advocate for everything I believe in suicide is something so personal to me that it’s different. It’s not the stigma, I don’t care what anyone thinks about my father’s death. It’s that in order to prevent suicide you have to start so far in advance of the person wanting to commit suicide.

My father abused me and we were estranged from the time I was a teenager. When I lived with my father I knew he was emotionally unstable but I was a kid and had my own problems. After 14 years my father calls me and starts talking about suicide. About how he can’t work, how he doesn’t have any money, and on and on.

The daughter and human in me responded, I was heartbroken, in shock, felt responsible and started paying his bills, sending him money and we talked all the time. He constantly talked about people bugging his phone, and people following him. I didn’t realize at the time my father was delusional.

I continued to beg him every time we talked to not kill himself, to think about my granny, his mother who would be devastated. I talked and pleaded for months. Begged him to go to the doctor. I did what I could.

I got a call late one Sunday saying “your father did away with himself” from my gramps. I was in such shock I called right back and asked was he dead or on the way to the hospital. No, he’s dead.

Here are a few things I learned after my father died.

He had been in a downward spiral for years by looking at his living conditions. He had boxes and boxes of cassette tapes by his bed, recordings he had made. I remember him talking about someone bugging his phone so I listened to every one of those tapes several times. There was nothing on most of them, some were recordings of my father talking on the phone. Some were just noise or his breathing. My father was delusional.

I could go on and on but there are a few takeaways.

One of the most difficult things you have to deal with in a suicide death is a closed casket funeral. You can’t see their face and say goodbye so there is an unmet emotional void that never goes away.

I did everything within my power, my dad was a grown man. A man with his own free will. I could not make him go to the doctor for help. There wasn’t a Gun Law in Texas where you could call the police and they would come out to take away a gun. There may not be one now.

I felt unbearable guilt, the pressure of the weight of thinking I could have prevented my granny’s pain was so much I drank myself crazy.

What I did learn from his death as we had the same mental illness, Bipolar Disorder, and was 75% more likely to commit suicide because my father had. I took that information and I found the best Psychiatrist I could. He is still my doctor today and has saved my life many times.

You can’t stop someone from killing themselves if they are determined. They will find a way now or later.

What we can do is look for signs early in life and during a crisis to see if a person needs help and guide them in that direction. If you’re a parent you have much more control when your child is younger.

The key to preventing suicide is to bring all the emotional damage to the surface to be dealt with and treat mental illnesses in a responsible manner the best we can. I will also add that if you’re inclined you can push for laws that allow the police to be called and for them to take the gun away for some period of time. Each state is different. You can also push for stronger gun laws if that is your wish.

Melinda

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, I have a couple more days to share with you the struggles I’ve been thru with my Bipolar Disorder.

I wrote this post in 2016 during a very low time and was going thru withdrawal because I took too many pills and ran out a week before I could get a refill. My doctor would normally have been able to call in the needed medication but he was out of touch on vacation. I was flying solo, with my husband having to watch his wife fall to pieces in front of him and he could do nothing.

There will be many times when what I’m saying makes no sense. It’s quite painful to read this post today.

Please keep your medication in check and if that means you have to count them or have someone count them for you, that’s what you need to do.

5/29/21

Melinda

I HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER

MY MENTAL HEALTH IS TIED TOGETHER WITH MULTIPLE MEDICATIONS, THREE OF WHICH I’M ADDICTED TO.  MY STRUGGLE WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER IS BALANCED OUT ON A FOUNDATION BUILT ON XANAX. I AM ADDICTED TO THREE OF THE DRUGS WITH XANAX BEING THE NASTIEST TO WITHDRAW FROM. LYME DIEASE HAS TAKEN MY MEMORY AND I TOOK TO MANY XANAX BEFORE THE NEXT REFILL. IT’S A CONTROLLED SUBSTANCE IN TEXAS WHICH MEANS ONLY YOUR DOCTOR CAN APPROVE EVEN ONE PILL BEFORE REFILL. MY DOCTOR WAS ON VACATION AND I WAS BATTLING THE BEAST WITHIN. 

I’m  on the mend, just not well enough to write a post about my journey. Thanks to everyone who has reached out to me. I was able to battle things out at home, there was a point when the questions came up, was it time to go to hospital.

Below are a few comments I’ve made while piecing myself back together. They are not entertaining, quite disgusting actually but IT’S REAL. I have Treatment Resistant Bipolar Disorder with Xanax as the anchor drug.

I’ve lived thru what doctors or instructions may mention about withdrawal. IF you were not aware of what Xanax withdraw looks like, FIRST look in the mirror. It’s the patients responsibility to participate with treatment. One critical way is being aware of every angle, good, bad, nasty, uncomfortable, make you beat yourself against the wall, wailing in pain……..I feel like my worst sins have beaten me with a bat bat 24/7 for a week.

I hope one person can read the babbling and come out with something to help themselves, their children, their husband, their wife, a family member, the homeless person on your corner.

I would not spread my guts out if I didn’t believe one person could use my experience. One commitment I made when starting my blog, when it’s ugly I will fly the flag high for anyone who wants to read. If you can’t handle the language, don’t enter the post.

I’m lost without the community. My body will heal up in a few days/a week.

Xx  M

ME:I just read your post about the increase in meds, yes it is scary as hell every time and that’s a gauge you don’t want to lose, it just doesn’t mean an auto NO. You are getting better at trusting, which essential to living with mental illness. Remember, it’s an illness not who you are. Think hard about the increase, what you told the doc, why he believes you need and increase based on what you’ve told him and then you can settle into, ok I’m not taking BECAUSE/I’m taking AND Committing to HOW MANY DAYS/WEEKS TO SEE A CHANGE. IF you are not 100% committed/UNLESS severe side effects/ If committed you have to be willing to go thru the adjustment your body WILL go thru. DOD you know what to look for? How long? When to go to hospital? CRITICAL questions if YOU ARE Taking.

ME: IF NOT TAKING, you can’t sit and wait until next appointment. You have to be able to articulate to doctor WHY you are not going to take. Give the doctor a chance to clear up any questions or misunderstandings. Then If you still are not going to take, no prob. ARE YOU ready to jump off that drug completely, possible some withdraw depending how long taking.OR ARE you willing to keep taking the amount of that drug and take what he suggest next which should address WHY your NOT taking the increased dose.

ME: It SUCKS, it’s a bitch, asshole any name you can think of BUT you have a mental illness, YOU said YOU were going to participate in getting your life on the rails as much as possible no matter how long it takes.
Sorry honey, the facts.

ME: Below is the HELL I’ve been in. You will recognize some of the symptoms because you have not had them in control, even though in HELL you can see WHAT the next level of hell is. This is why you can’t fuck with your meds. This is what happens in various degrees.

ME: I’m exhausted and back to bed for my whole body to rest. Please print out this whole comments, when you are starting to get anxious look at. Xanax is an excellent anti-anxiety med, highly additive and will beat the shit out of you if you fuck with it. That may help you get more in tune with body so you pick up the signals sooner. :)

ME: you are an awesome Christian Sister. The passage brought a tear. At a time when physically I’m all alone, now more than anytime I know there are friends in Christ who are there. Praying for me is a bonus. God brings people down a path, we have no idea what his perfect hands are doing, we’re going about our business. You/I/everyone crosses paths, sometimes they are the path God laid out, that intersection will bring two people together if/when God see’s a need. That is why we crossed paths, and for many others reasons we learn from each other. The last thing on my mind is a blog/my blog/your blog/survivors blog. I’m still putting the pieces of my brain back together. The rest we know is not essential and down on the want pole. Thank you for thinking of survivors, quite possibly a decision I make/or not will have a huge impact. I have to figure out if I’m ready and everyone else is aware and who’s on the boat. Keep you posted as I take another step. Day One 3:30 pm CST

ME: an older message said moving at nano speed, NOT unless nano backward is such at thing. Very small steps, my body is better to a pulp from me throwing myself around the bathroom during the three worst days with the beast inside. When you have a mental illness you need medication to function, if the balance is off tiny amount no prob. If you see saw is up in air and down on ground there’s a huge problem. That’s where I’ve been. Lyme has taken my memory, without knowing I took to many Xanax which I require but when you take to many before a refill, it’s hell. When a drug is classified a Controlled Substance, created to slow down addiction in America, only your doctor can approve even one pill. My Doc is half- retired and this past Friday was the absolute earliest it could be filled without my Doc phoning the pharmacy. Withdraw on Xanax which I’ve taken for 15 years is starts to get nasty after 2-3 days. From there it’s straight to hell in a blink of an eye! I learned one thing thru this, exactly what Controlled Substance means.
I’m sure you will file in your huge memory bank should you ever need. I’m off to take photos of what it looks like on paper when I come unwound.

ME: I’ve have seen bad and I’ve seen heaven. UTSW Psychiatric Hospital is where I go to have ECT Treatments to dig me out from under the boulder. It’s a truly welcome sight. I’ve learned all of the above and once I saw how a good/great caring facility takes care to get you on your feet so you and your support team can help while you and doctor work on getting me stable. I almost went there Wednesday night, a medical hospital can’t give me what I needed fast enough. I was near the bottom of the meanest beast, myself, going thru an unintentional need to withdraw. When my husband heard me wailing out of control, banging myself around the bathroom, battered and helpless except to let the beast keep kicking me. He said were going, we didn’t but he thought medical hospital and I knew it was to see my caregivers at UTSW Dallas. Today is Day One, I’m home by myself and although slow I’ve made it thru half a day. I would never hesitate to get in car to go straight there, I’ve been there 20 times.:)

Psychiatric Times

What are the implications of maternal mental health not only for mothers, but also for children, families, and society as a whole?

May is Maternal Mental Health Month, and moms around the world could probably use a break. During the COVID-19 pandemic, they have done even more of the childcare and housework, while also, in many cases, keeping up with their careers. How has the pandemic affected their mental health—either by creating new problems or by exacerbating perennial concerns?

In this edition of PsychPearls, Anita H. Clayton, MD, explores the wide and varied field of maternal mental health. Along with the effects of the pandemic, Clayton discusses prenatal mental health care, new and emerging treatments for postpartum depression and psychosis, and how what she saw in a courtroom set her on a path to becoming a renowned expert on maternal wellness.

https://embeds.audioboom.com/posts/7863094/embed/v4

Dr Clayton will speak further on these issues at the Annual Psychiatric TimesTM World CME Conference.

Dr Clayton is the David C. Wilson Professor and chair of the Department of Psychiatry and Neurobehavioral Sciences at the University of Virginia, with a secondary appointment as professor of clinical obstetrics and gynecology. She is the author of Satisfaction: Women, Sex, and the Quest for Intimacy, published by Ballantine Books in 2007, and an editor of the 2005 Women’s Mental Health: A Comprehensive Textbook. She is also a program co-chair of the Annual Psychiatric Times^TM World CME Conference.

Melinda

Human Resource Director

BY Emily Douglas 17 May 2021

Do you have a deep-rooted fear of your inbox?

It’s 3.15am Monday morning. While the rest of the world sleeps soundly, you’re twitching to turn on the bedside lamp. You’re edging towards your phone. It’s been buzzing on and off, sounding in the dark, which can mean only one thing.

Emails are waiting.

You think, I’ll just take a quick peek – a quick look then back to sleep. There’s no harm in that, right? After all, maybe it’s urgent. Maybe it’s my manager. Maybe it’s my CEO. Maybe the company’s been liquidated and everyone’s been fired and it’s all my fault!

Sound familiar? You, my friend, have email anxiety. And you’re not alone.

Email anxiety is a deep-rooted fear of looking through your inbox – coupled with an innate inability not to. Striking any time day or night, sufferers feel intense anxiety around their inbox – worried about both receiving emails and having to read them. The average employee spends around four hours each day reading and responding to messages – with most workers receiving up to 120 emails every day. For employees suffering with anxiety, each day is a battle between wanting to be productive and being paralysed by nerves.

Why do emails cause anxiety?

While email anxiety is nothing new, it has become more prevalent since COVID-19. Now, with employees working from their homes, work-life balance is even more difficult to attain. The added pressure of the current pandemic, coupled with increased working hours and C-suite expectations, is leading to a mental health crisis. And, if HR doesn’t act quickly, we’re going to see psychological wellbeing take a massive hit.

The link between technology and stress was debated by Dr Gini Harrison, Dr Mathijs Lucassen in their recent study Stress and anxiety in the digital age. In this research, they theorized that we’re becoming overly dependant on our phones, leading to perpetual distraction and poor sleep habits.

When you consider that a lot of employees have their work emails on their smart devices – it’s clear that this need to be constantly connected is wrecking our mental, physical, and emotional health.

How do you manage excessive emails?

So, what’s to be done? Well, the easiest option would be to take your emails off of your mobile phone. And while we do recommend that, it doesn’t stop the stress and anxiety surrounding in-office, desktop, messages. If the issue is simply being overloaded with too many emails, speak to your manager and raise the issue with them. We’re all guilty of CC’ing people into emails when they don’t really need to be there – so, before you send any messages, be cognizant of this. Look through the recipients. Do they all have to be there? Can you remove any? If this is implemented as best practice across the whole company, believe me, you’ll see a dramatic drop in email volume.

Another option is to add an Out Of Office folder to your inbox. Any messages that come through when you’re technically ‘off the clock’ will go into a sperate file for you to check during working hours. With certain email accounts, you can add a reminder that will pop up if you try to email someone outside of their allotted schedule. This acts as a first line of defence should employees get too trigger happy with late night messages. 

Angela Champ, SVP of HR at Alpine Building Maintenance, recommends a complete inbox cleanse – removing all unwanted toxins from your account.

“Unsubscribe from any newsletters or emails that no longer add value or help you do your job,” she told HRD. “From there, set aside certain blocks within your day to read and respond to emails, rather than reading them continuously, and turn off the notifications so you’re not tempted to check. Finally, I’d say that if a message thread is longer than three emails deep, pick up the phone. So much more can be resolved with a five-minute call than a super long email chain.”

How do you overcome email anxiety?

When it comes to addressing the issue of unmanageable anxiety, take a step back and breathe. The pandemic has us all in a spin, working constantly, developing unhealthy habits, and feeling burned out. When the panic sets in, walk away from your desk and step outside for a few moments. Go for a walk, practice some mindfulness, and realise that whatever this email says, it’s not the end of the world. As with most anxiety, it’s not the end result we fear, it’s the fear of fear that’s debilitating.

For employers, if you want to help your workers through email stress, you too have to become more self-aware and take some accountability.

“Knowing your recipient is key,” Dr Melanie Peacock, associate professor of HR, told HRD. “This is why, especially in a virtual world, we need to take the time to build opportunities for people to develop interpersonal relationships with one another. Trust doesn’t just appear; it’s created and nurtured. When one trusts the recipient email anxiety is lessened.”

Psychology Today

Posted May 17, 2021 

KEY POINTS

• Emotions dominate our lives. We either spew feelings excessively or sequester them inside us.
• Relationships between people with disparate and even opposite displays of emotion involve an emotional tango that ill serves both parties.
• Emotions can be used to inform and enhance thinking, behaviors, and interpersonal relationships. Asking yourself these questions will help.

Source: Hier und jetzt endet leider meine Reise auf Pixabay aber/Pixabay

Emotional displays flood our lives. Television, radio, social media, conversations, and written media provide a continual barrage of anger, tears, venom, upset, and grief. The political arena is an ongoing slugfest of emotional outrage, gesture, name-calling, and put-downs.

An excessive outpouring of feelings dominates our interpersonal landscape as well. How did we arrive here? Does everyone use an emotional megaphone or only some of us? Some of us are emotionally reserved. How do we coexist with each other?

As a child and adult psychiatrist for 40 years, I have some observations on both the over- and under-expression of feelings and the implications for both emotional health and illness. I discuss these observations in the book I co-authored with psychiatrist Homer B. Martin, M.D., called Living on Automatic: How Emotional Conditioning Shapes Our Lives and Relationships.

Neurophysiologists and neuropsychologists point out that feelings are subjective experiences of emotions. Emotions arise from patterns of neuralactivity in the limbic system. Then feelings interpret the neural-based emotions. For the purposes of this article—psychiatric, not neurophysiologic—I use feelings and emotions interchangeably.

Emotions and roles in relationships

We all have emotions. Most of us assume our feelings and emotional expressions are hardwired in us, but they are not. In childhood, we grasp how, how much, and when to display feelings. This takes place through unaware teaching within our families, and the roles parents shape in us for managing relationships. We grasp these roles by age 3.

Source: Piyapong Saydaung/Pixabay

The emotionally subdued

Some of us master the role of hiding our feelings and keep them under wraps. In this role, we rarely acknowledge, much less show, our feelings. We may be unable to identify when we are sad, happy, angry, or anxious.

During psychotherapy, when I ask such people what they feel in a given situation, they say, “I don’t know what I feel,” or “I’m unsure.” Often, they tell me what they thinkinstead of what they feel. We refer to such people as reserved or unemotional.

Reserved people can make poor judgments when other people are involved because they do not use their own feelings to assess what they need to think, do, or say. They suppress feelings and, in so doing, come to believe their bottled-up emotions are powerful. They fear that their suppressed emotions will erupt with volcanic force, either imploding them or wreaking damage on others.

The emotional proclaimers

Other people are shaped during childhood into roles in which they exude emotions and display them often and excessively. They like the effects their emotions have on others. They want others to cater to their emotional displays. They send messages of:

• Be upset with my eruptions.
• Calm me down.
• Indulge me.
• Walk on eggshells around me.
• Fix my feelings.
• Cater to my changeable moods, and indulge my next outpouring of feelings.

Source: Engin Akyurt/Pixabay

These people have such a focus on their emotions that when I ask them what they think, they tell me what they feel.

Emotionally overflowing people also make poor decisions involving others. They make decisions based on whimsical and ever-changing emotions. They forego reason. Since they are consumed by their emotional demonstrations, they are good at distracting other people and at having attention focused on themselves. Later on in relationships, they exhaust those with whom they associate.

The tango of emotions in relationships

How do people with disparate and even opposite displays of emotion exist with one another? This coexistence weaves itself similarly to a tango dance. The dance unfolds in perpetually enduring relationship patterns.

Overly emotional people expect the emotionally reserved to cater to their feelings. It is a way to get attention from others. It is a way to be loud but behaviorally inert. The emotionally reserved at first admire the emotional outpourings of others. Only later, after many attempts to calm them or satisfy them, are they worn down and exhausted.

Why do they admire the emotionally bombastic when they are emotionally reticent and reserved themselves? Their admiration is based on wishing they could demonstrate such lavish displays of their own feelings. “I wish I could be like that,” they say. They also enjoy the thrill and challenge of trying to tame the unmanageably emotionally extravagant.

Source: Gino Crescoli/Pixabay

As these patterns endure in relationships, the demonstrative person is increasingly emotional with louder displays. The mesmerized, reserved person loves indulging them until they reach exhaustion. They continue to keep a tight lid on their own emotions. Both people are made worse by their interpersonal tango, which ill serves each of them.

Patterns in society

The same interpersonal emotional patterns happen in the larger society. We admire the plethora of emotions in the public arena. We glue ourselves to the television and social media to ooh and aah, admire or denigrate.

We seek out emotional people for entertainment. Holding these people in the limelight fuels those who enjoy exuding their feelings. They escalate. They grow their audience. The squeaky wheel gets the oil and the ratings.

Source: Jose R. Cabello/Pixabay

Emotionally reserved people shun being on center stage. They gladly throw attention to those who want it. One group does not exist without the other.

Both the emotionally quiescent and the effusive may use quick-fix methods to open up and dampen down their feelings. They improperly use prescription medications, alcohol, or illicit drugs. Such use is prevalent and creates both physical and emotional health problems for users, their families, and work colleagues.

How to escape the emotional stranglehold

Over-emoting people are oppressive to be around. Under-emoting people are oppressed within themselves. We should become aware of the dance and look at ourselves deeply enough to cease the imperiousness brought on by feelings. It can be done.

When we are in the throes of strong feelings, we can ask ourselves questions that will help us decipher the emotion, decide how reasonable it is for the circumstance, and what course of action to take. Here are questions to ask yourself.

1. What emotion do you have?

You may be crying, but what is your true emotion? Are you sad, mad, jealous, frustrated?

2. What is going on that evokes your emotion?

Is someone putting you down, praising you, angering you, or ignoring you? Who are you with, and what is the interaction about?

3. What other occasions create this same feeling/emotion?

Do you get angry when also ignored by others? Are you jealous in similar situations with others?

Do you get mad when others praise you?

4. How reasonable for your circumstance is the emotion you feel?

If you are angry because you are left out of a decision made by your spouse, ask yourself if this is a big concern worth being angry about. Was the decision major—what kind of car to buy? Was it minor—what size eggs to buy? 

5. Are you conditioned to the emotion because of childhood experiences?

If so, you could be reacting emotionally in a knee-jerk way when the situation does not reasonably call for it.

If you were expected to hide emotions as a child, you might be more reasonable with yourself and reveal your emotions to another person rather than concealing them. Or, if you were expected as a child to have boisterous emotional displays, you may need to tone down displays of your feelings.

6. Once you evaluate the facets of your emotion, what is the most reasonable action to take under the circumstances?

Maybe you are unreasonable to be so angry at your spouse for buying a size of eggs you didn’t want. You may decide to tone down or break off your anger, finding it too excessive. Or, you may decide it’s more reasonable to express your frustration to your spouse instead of holding in that emotion.

Overly emotional people can grasp how to think about their feelings instead of displaying feelings all the time. They can access rational thoughts instead of deciding and manipulating others with emotions.

The reluctantly emotional can learn to identify and elaborate their emotions to inform them of what goes on inside them and in their relationships. They may discover there is a time and place for them to kick up a fuss, shout for joy, or be the center of attention.

We do better in life when emotions inform our thoughts, behaviors, and interactions with others, not when they dominate us.

Christine B. L. Adams, MD is a child psychiatrist in private practice in Louisville, KY. She is co-author of the book Living on Automatic: How Emotional Conditioning Shapes Our Lives and Relationships.

If you think you have to be a smoker, a drinker, overweight, or have high blood pressure to have a stroke, think again. My Granny was in her early 80’s when she had two strokes within a year’s time, the second one was a massive stroke. That left her with Dementia from the damage done to her brain and she became a violent shell of herself over time. She died a couple of years later.

She ate a clean diet, had quit smoking 40 years earlier, never drank, didn’t have high blood pressure, and weighed all of 110 pounds soaking wet.

Strokes can happen to anyone.

Doctors were never able to give us an explanation and this is why I write this post. May is Stroke Awareness Month and you need to know what can happen if you or a loved one develops Dementia from a stroke.

Dementia is like Alzheimer’s in that it robs your memory. The first stroke the damage wasn’t as bad so she knew something was wrong with her and was very unhappy but not violent. The second stroke hit a large part of her brain and affected her memory in the worst way.

Imagine knowing you are sick, you don’t understand what is going on, and you confused all the time. My Granny became violent by hitting herself in the head or banging her head on the wall saying she didn’t want to live like that.

You have two choices medically, do nothing or find a Psychiatrist who can prescribe the right types of drugs to calm them down. The latter is often found as a warning on medication labels, Not for use for elderly Dementia patients.

My gramps and I had to decide what was best for my granny, not society. We found a good doctor who put her medication to try to slow the Dementia down, and a combination of other drugs to keep her a bit zoned out but not over-drugged.

This worked fine for a time, then she became solely dependent on my gramps being with her. He couldn’t leave the house any longer. The doctor had given us four emergency pills for if or when she became too violent. To date, we had not used any. My gramps went to get groceries and I was there with her. After five minutes she kept saying he had been gone an hour and why wasn’t he back yet. I tried to distract her with a little photo album I made of her and gramps and her favorite dog. That worked a few times. She would come back to why is he taking so long. why is he taking so long?

I got up and showed her on the clock exactly when he left and what time it was, it had only been 15 minutes. The logic didn’t compute. She continued to escalate to the point of saying why did gramps leave her here. I asked her where she was and she didn’t know but didn’t recognize she was in her own home. I took photos off the wall to show her my dad, brother, gramps, and myself. Nothing worked, she was convinced he had left her somewhere.

She became very violent, hitting herself in the head, banging her head against the wall screaming for my gramps. I had to think quick. It was time for the emergency medication. I was able to convince her we forgot to take one of her medications and she took the pill. It knocked out and I thanked God!

My gramps was not able to leave home again until after she died.

This is just one example, there are many and each an extremely painful to watch. It breaks your heart not to be able to help your loved one.

I will STRONGLY say, do whatever you have to do to make your loved ones’ life more comfortable if they become violent. Don’t settle for less or you will be making hospital visits.

These posts will give you an even better idea of the hell life is like for a Dementia caregiver.

Dementia Induced Thoughts of Suicide

I’m Morning And She’s Still Alive

Melinda

Complex

BYJOSE MARTINEZ

Snoop Dogg’s daughter, Cori Broadus, took to Instagram over the weekend, where she opened up about her mental health struggles over the last few weeks, revealing that she tried to take her own life.

“The last few weeks my mental has not been so great at one point I tried to end my life but you & my family really give me a purpose to live & helped me realize Iife is much more than materialistic things & you gotta just keep pushing through the bullshit,” she wrote. 

It appears the “you” who has helped Cori in her time of need is her boyfriend, Wayne Deuce, who is seen in several pictures in the above post. Wayne also shared the same series of photos in his own post on Instagram, along with a note on a chalkboard easel in which he wrote, “I love you Princess. This time is about us getting our minds right for a better and healthier lifestyle. We riding til the end.” 

Both of their posts conclude with the Mental Health Awareness hashtag. May is Mental Health Awareness Month, which aims to help people understand and normalize the existence of mental illnesses among millions of people living in the United States. According to Mental Health America, the organization that started this monthly observation in 1949, one in every five American adults will have a diagnosable mental health condition in any given year. 

Mental health issues have come to the forefront in wake of COVID-19. MHA Screenings taken from January 2020 to September found that over eight in 10 people who took the anxiety screen scored with moderate to severe symptoms, while more than eight in 10 people scored with moderate to severe symptoms of depression consistently since the start of the pandemic. 

The theme for this year’s Mental Health Awareness Month is “You Are Not Alone,” a statement that reinforces the reality that mental illnesses are more common than some people might think, and something that people shouldn’t feel stigmatized by, especially as we collectively deal with the aftermath of the pandemic, and what that means for our personal and professional lives. 

Maddie Dunne-Kirby from Wellbeck Publishing Group gifted me a copy of Finding My Right Mind, One Woman’s Experiment To Put Meditation To The Test by Vanessa Potter for an honest review. Wellbeck is gifting one person a copy of Vanessa’s book. Find out more at end of the post.

Gobsmacked is the only word I can say about Finding My Right Mind. I believe that’s a British saying, please correct me if I’m mistaken. Vanessa’s story is like a brick to the head in the very best way. She’s smart, funny, and realistic about the cards she’s dealt.

You can find Vanessa Potter’s book Finding My Right Mind at Amazon.co.uk

The true story of an ordinary woman who went to extraordinary lengths to discover whether meditating could change her life. Insightful, funny, and informative, Vanessa road-tests 10 techniques from mindfulness to psychedelics, and still manages to pick the kids up!

My Thoughts

What would you do if you woke up on day blind and paralyzed? This is where Vanessa finds herself, she’s married with children and at the height of her career. What Vanessa does next is nothing short of a miracle. Using her knowledge of meditation she teaches her body to remember feelings, such as the feel of sand in your toes. With sheer grit, she uses 10 techniques to build the life she wants to live. Finding My Right Mind is a must-read for everyone, she an inspiration and will have you examine your life as you live it today. You will find Vanessa’s book inspirational, fascinating, and looking forward to turning the page. She shows us what the mind can truly do.

Wellbeck Publishing Group

Welbeck Publishing Group is an exciting, fast-growing independent publisher based in London, dedicated to publishing only the very best and most commercial books spanning a number of genres and categories, from leading authors and well-known brands to debut talent. We live for books that entertain, excite and enhance the lives of readers around the world

From building our boutique fiction and narrative non-fiction lists to shaping our world-renowned illustrated reference, gift and children’s titles, our aim is to be a market-leader in every category in which we publish.  Our books and products come to life for adults, children, and families in 30 languages in more than 60 countries around the world, selling through a variety of traditional and non-traditional channels. We are constantly looking for new ways to deliver our exceptional content and new ideas to inspire readers and listeners everywhere.

One lucky UK reader will win a copy of Finding My Right Mind by Vanessa Potter just by sending me your thoughts on the review and I will draw numbers. The book will mail from the UK publisher.

This is a must-read story. I’m glad you are enjoying the book reviews, keep your comments coming. I have six books lined up to read so stay tuned.

Melinda

IDEAS.TED.COM

Angus Greig

This post is part of TED’s “How to Be a Better Human” series, each of which contains a piece of helpful advice from people in the TED community; browse through all the posts here.

In the modern economy, motivation is a tricky thing.

A hundred years ago, when people like Frederick Taylor were pioneering the field of scientific management, motivation was pretty easy. The idea was you could switch people from an hourly rate to a piece-rate system to do a set of repetitive tasks, and it would incentivize them to do the tasks faster. It was a rudimentary idea, but in some organizations it’s still the philosophy behind how pay — especially incentive pay — is set. And there’s actually a decent amount of research that incentives like that can work to increase motivation when there is a really clear understanding of exactly what tasks must be done to earn the reward. But in a knowledge work or creative work economy, those easy-to-understand, repetitive tasks are becoming more and more rare.

Fortunately, there’s another option to increase motivation.

The research that began to uncover that option was conducted by two men: Richard Ryan and Edward Deci. Deci and Ryan pioneered what would come to be known as self-determination theory. Self-determination theory essentially argued that people are motivated when they can determine for themselves what to work on and how to work on it.

In other words, Deci and Ryan and other pioneers in this field of research asserted that incentives could actually decrease motivation — because incentives take away a sense of power to determine the work for oneself. But self-determination theory didn’t just point out why so many well-meaning incentive plans fail. It also outlined several drivers of human motivation, drivers that could be built into a job or a team culture to make work more motivating and increase motivation.

Below, I’ll outline the three main drivers of motivation according to self-determination theory — autonomy, competence, and relatedness — and I’ll provide practical ways to leverage the power of each.

People who experience autonomy at their jobs don’t feel micromanaged. Instead, they feel empowered by their managers to pursue objectives and deadlines on their terms.

1. Autonomy

The first motivational driver is autonomy. Autonomy refers to how much people feel in control of their own life and able to make their own choices. In the context of work, autonomy means people feel they have a say in what they work on and how they work on it. They don’t feel micromanaged; they feel empowered by their managers to pursue objectives and deadlines on their terms.

Creating a sense of autonomy in an individual or on a team can come in many forms. It could be by mutually assigning objectives and establishing deadlines. It could also be giving people more freedom over where they work, or incorporating the team or individuals in decision making more often.

One easy way to judge whether you are leading from a place of autonomy versus control is to pay attention to your feedback or coaching conversations with the team. Specifically, do this: Pay attention to how many times you’re giving them advice vs. asking them questions. If you’re often giving advice or telling people how to do something, you could be diminishing their sense of autonomy. But if you are asking questions designed to guide them to finding their own solutions, then you are leaving them in control.

Remind people of the progress they’ve already made — and show them you’re trying to help them make even more progress.

2. Competence

The second motivational driver is competence. Competence refers to our desires to seek control but also to experience mastery. Competence speaks to our natural human desire to be learners, to be growing and feeling like we’re making progress. It could be progress in our career, progress towards a set of objectives or working for a team or a company that is making progress. Anything that helps individuals feel they are moving toward mastery leverages competence as a motivation.

Creating a sense of competence in an individual or on a team might actually be more about what you don’t do. Much of the job of a team leader is providing feedback or constructive criticism. But constructive or negative criticism has been found in numerous studies to decrease a person’s feeling of competence, and thus reduce motivation.

So rather than just focusing on constructive feedback, make sure you’re taking the time to celebrate wins, large and small. And make sure that even when you are giving people constructive feedback, you are pairing it with a lot of positive feedback and praise as well. That way it reminds them of the progress they’ve already made — and show them you’re trying to help them make even more progress.

If you can ensure the members of your team know who exactly is being helped by their efforts, you can almost guarantee they’ll be willing to work hard to help those people.

3. Relatedness

The third and final motivational driver is relatedness. Relatedness refers to our will to connect with others, interact and care for other people. In terms of research, we’ve only just begun to grasp just how important relatedness to others truly is. But we know that humans are much more motivated to take actions when they’re seen as pro-social — that is, when they’re seen as being able to help other people.

Creating a sense of relatedness in an individual or on a team means making sure people build connections to each other. But it also means making sure people know the significance of what they’re being asked to do and how it relates to the whole team and the team’s and organization’s larger objectives. Even better, you might frame the team’s work in a way that makes it quite clear exactly who is helped by the organization’s, the team’s and even the individual’s actions.

This is not about reiterating the company’s mission statement — instead, it’s about creating a connection between the mission and the specific people who are served when that mission is accomplished. If you can ensure the members of your team know who exactly is being helped by their efforts, you can almost guarantee they’ll be willing to work hard to help those people.

Now if you’re read this far, you probably noticed what hasn’t been discussed yet. I haven’t talked about salaries or about perks like free food or a keg in the refrigerator. I didn’t talk about how many hours people are working or any of things typically discussed when employers are working to build a more engaged and motivated workplace. Yes, those things are all great. They just don’t do much for motivation — at least when compared to creating a sense of autonomy, competence and relatedness.

When people have the ability to determine how they work, the means to judge their progress and the feeling that their work helps other people, they can’t help but be motivated to get to work.

This article originally appeared on DavidBurkus.com and it’s been adapted with the author’s permission.

Watch his TEDxUniversityofNevada Talk here:

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

David Burkus PhD is an organizational psychologist and bestselling author of five books, including Leading from Anywhere: Unlock the Power and Performance of Remote Teams.

IDEAS.TED.COM

May 12, 2021 / Judson Brewer MD, Ph

Kati Szilágyi

Back in 2006, psychologists Jordan Litman and Paul Silvia identified two main “flavors” of curiosity, which they dubbed D-curiosity and I-curiosity. 

The D in D-curiosity stands for deprivation, the idea that if we have a gap in information, we go into a restless, unpleasant, need-to-know state, while the I in I-curiosity stands for interest, the pleasurable aspects of the hunger for knowledge. In other words, curiosity — our drive for information — can induce a state that is either aversive or pleasant.

Deprivation curiosity is driven by a lack of information, often a specific piece of information. For example, when you see a picture of a famous actress and you can’t remember her name, you might start racking your brain to remember who it is. Trying to remember might get you into a contracted state, as though you are trying to squeeze that answer out of your brain. Then when you go to google for help and see her name, you feel a sense of relief because you’re no longer deprived of the information.

This extends to texting and social media. If you are out to dinner and you feel or hear a text come into your phone, you might notice that suddenly it’s hard to pay attention — not knowing what the text says can make you restless, causing your body temperature to rise, and that fire of uncertainty is only put out when you check your phone.

Each of the curiosity “flavors” feels different in our bodies — deprivation feels closed, while interest feels open.

Interest curiosity is piqued when we’re interested in learning more about something. Usually this isn’t a specific piece of information (like an actress’s name) but a broader category. For example, did you know that there are animals who keep growing in size until they die? They are called “indeterminate growers” and include sharks, lobsters and kangaroos. In fact, based on its size, one 20-pound lobster was believed to be 140 years old. That’s one big, old lobster! Isn’t that fascinating?

Interest curiosity is when you dive into an internet search and realize hours later you’ve learned a whole bunch of stuff and your thirst for knowledge has been quenched. It feels good to learn something new. This is different from filling a deficit, simply because you weren’t experiencing a deficit in the first place. For instance, you didn’t know about big, old lobsters but when you learned about them, you were intrigued and delighted to know more.

Unlike the D-curiosity — which is about reaching a destination — the I-curiosity is more about the journey. Each of these curiosity “flavors” has different “tastes”, and they feel different in our bodies.  Deprivation feels closed, while interest feels open.

What this means is getting more and more curious about what anxiety feels like in your body, instead of assuming you know everything about it or that it will never change.

Most of us approach ourselves and the world with D-curiosity, like a problem to be solved. But we’re all in the perfect place to tap into our I-curiosity, which we can leverage to help ourselves break old habits and build new ones.

In practice, what this means is getting more and more curious about what anxiety feels like in your body and how it triggers your worry and procrastination habit loops, instead of assuming you know everything about anxious or that your feelings will never change or you have to find a magic pill or technique to cure you of it.

Over the years, I’ve found that curiosity is a simple tool that helps people — regardless of language, culture and background — drop directly into their embodied experience and tap into their natural capacities for wonder and interest. It puts people right in that sweet spot of openness and engagement.

Let me walk you through a curiosity exercise that I teach everyone on Day 1 in the Unwinding Anxiety app. This exercise can work as a kind of panic button for when anxiety hits, and it takes about 2 minutes.

Whenever I do this exercise, I like to use the mantra “Hmmmm”. It allows me to bring a playful, even joyful attitude to what I’m doing.

Step 1: 

Find a quiet comfortable place. You can be sitting, lying down or standing up; you just need to be able to concentrate without being distracted.

Step 2: 

Recall your most recent run-in or incident with a habit loop, which is any habit you find yourself returning to whenever you’re worried or anxious.

See if you can remember the scene and relive that experience, focusing on what you felt right at the time when you were about to act out your habitual behavior. What did that urge to go ahead and “do it” feel like?

Step 3: 

Check in with your body. What sensation can you feel most strongly right now?

Here’s a list of single words or phrases to choose from. Pick only one — the one you feel most strongly:

tightness

pressure

contraction

restlessness

shallow breath

burning

tension

clenching

heat

pit in stomach

buzzing/vibration

Step 4: 

In terms of this feeling, is it more on the right side or the left? In the front, middle, or back of your body? Where do you feel it most strongly?

And was there anything you noticed about being curious about what part of your body you felt the sensation in? Did being a little curious help with getting closer to this sensation?

Step 5: 

If the sensation is still there in your body, see if you can get curious and notice what else is there. Are there other sensations you’re feeling? What happens when you get curious about them? Do they change? What happens when you get really curious about what they feel like?

Step 6: 

Follow them over the next 30 seconds — not trying to do anything to or about them — but simply observing them. Do they change at all when you observe them with an attitude of curiosity?

Whenever I do this exercise, I like to use the mantra “Hmmmm” — as in, the hmm you naturally emit when you’re curious about something (and not to be confused with the traditional mantra “Om”). I find saying “hmm” to myself gets me out of my head and into a direct experience of being curious. It also allows me to bring a playful, even joyful attitude to what I’m doing; it is hard to take yourself too seriously when you are hmm-ing.

If you notice that by being curious you gained even a microsecond more of being with your thoughts, emotions and sensations than you have in the past, then you’ve taken a huge step forward.

This short exercise is just intended to give you a taste of curiosity and to support your natural capacity to be aware about what is happening in your body and your mind at any moment instead of getting caught up in a habit loop. If you notice that by being curious you gained even a microsecond more of being with your thoughts, emotions and body sensations than you have in the past, then you’ve taken a huge step forward.

Here’s what a patient in the Unwinding Anxiety program told me about curiosity:
When I first started the program, I didn’t quite buy into the benefits of curiosity. Today, I felt a wave of panic, and instead of immediate dread or fear, my automatic response was “Hmm, that’s interesting.” That took the wind right out of its sails! I wasn’t just saying it was interesting; I actually felt it.

Sometimes I get the question “What happens if I’m not curious?” My response is to use the mantra of hmmm to drop right into your experience. Ask yourself: “Hmm, what does it feel like not to be curious?”

This helps people move from their thinking, fix-it mind state into a curious awareness of their direct sensations and emotions in their bodies and move out of their thinking heads and into their feeling bodies.

Excerpted with permission from the new book Unwinding Anxiety: New Science Shows How to Break the Cycles of Worry and Fear to Heal Your Mind by Judson Brewer MD PhD. Published by Avery, an imprint of Penguin Random House, LLC. © 2021 by Judson Brewer.

Watch his TEDMED Talk here: 

Watch this TED-Ed Lesson about panic attacks here: 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Judson Brewer MD, PhD Judson Brewer is the Director of Research and Innovation at the Mindfulness Center and associate professor in psychiatry at the School of Medicine at Brown University, as well as a research affiliate at MIT. As an addiction psychiatrist and expert in mindfulness training for treating addictions, he has developed and tested novel programs for habit change, including both in-person and app-based treatments for smoking, emotional eating and anxiety. Based on the success of these programs in the lab, he cofounded MindSciences, Inc. to create app-based versions of these programs for a wider audience. He is also the author of the book The Craving Mind. 

Melinda

My Journey

I don’t write about my Mental Health often but it’s Mental Health Awareness Month, and I can’t think of a better time.

I’ve been stable for about three years and it was a long journey during that depressive period. After being stable for several years I spiraled into a dark depression, getting numb and darker by the day. I tried four different drugs before finding the drug I’m on. It has worked like a miracle.

That’s how my life has gone since I was 19 years old. Stable or depressed or hypo or manic or dark depression or unable to function. It’s been a difficult journey and one that I almost didn’t make several times. The first time I tried to kill myself was at nine years old, that should have been a sign that something was wrong with me.

I have been hospitalized several times sometimes for up to a month a time and have had 21 Electro Convulsive Treatments. The journey has been very dark at times and I’m so thankful that I had family and a husband who fought hard when I wouldn’t.

The only thing I can say to anyone who is suffering from Mental Illness or a Mental Health challenge, it can and often will pass. I’m not going to sugar coat it, there are some Mental Illnesses that reaching stable is as well as you will get, that’s a huge achievement.

I have Bipolar Disorder and for the past 25 years have been on the depressive side. For the prior 20 years, I lived in a blissful Hypo Manic state. It was blissful until I fell off that cloud and crashed so hard I almost didn’t make it up.

One key to my success is having a Psychopharmacologist as my main doctor and seeing a therapist regularly. I know Psychopharmacologists are more expensive and harder to find but they know the brain in detail and how medications work so they can connect the dots with what symptoms you’re having with the medication you need. I’ve seen my doctor for 30 years and it scares me he is about to retire and I don’t know who is going to take his practice.

I believe strongly that for ongoing challenges with Mental Health/Mental Illness medication is required for some period of time. For me, it’s a lifetime, for others it’s until they’re stable.

I also believe strongly that seeing a Therapist on regular basis is as critical as medication. Sometimes we sabotage ourself and a Therapist can help us thru negative self-talk. The key to remember is what each doctor or Therapist does as a specialty. If you’re seeing a Psychiatrist/Psychopharmacologist you are only going to get medication, you are not going to get any therapy. There are also different types of Therapists so you need to make sure you are getting a referral for the right type. I am not skilled enough to tell you what type you need but your Psychiatrist can.

I’m almost 58 years old and at times I didn’t think I’d ever see 30 years old. It takes everything you have and more to deal with your Mental Illness or Mental Health and it’s worth the effort.

What goes up must come down again!

If you’d like to read more about my journey with Bipolar Disorder, check out my archives.

Melinda

Repost from 2021

Jane from D’Amore Mental Health contacted me and asked if I would include their organization on my resources page. With May being Mental Health Awareness Month, I can’t think of a better time to add a new Mental Health resource.

Child Abuse and Childhood trauma can impact a person well into adulthood, often in unexpected ways.

D’Amore Healthcare is a mental health treatment center for men and women specializing in the intervention, acute stabilization, and residential treatment of mental health disorders and co-occurring substance abuse disorders. We are a Joint Commission accredited, California-certified psychiatric facility located in the sunny, beach community of Huntington Beach in Orange County, California. We treat mental health and behavioral illness.  We specialize in residential treatment for Clinical Depression, Bipolar Disorder, Schizophrenia, General Anxiety Disorder, Trauma, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).

Mental Health Disorders affect every aspect of your wellbeing. That’s why D’Amore Mental Health’s approach to addiction and mental health treatment is holistic and personalized, providing care for the mind, body and spirit. 

D’Amore challenges the idea of inevitable hospitalization for mental illnesses and specializes in preventive treatment by creating an environment that reduces the shame cycle. Our Build Me Up Program fosters behavioral and cognitive change through positive reinforcement. 

If you or someone you know is having challenges with their Mental Health please share with this website information and the other resources listed on my Organizations Who Can Help page.

Melinda

AD PRO

Amy Kartheiser, a designer based in Chicago, is spotlighting artisan-designed wares in support of suicide prevention this month

By Katherine Burns OlsonMay 3, 2021

It was after Amy Kartheiser, an interior designer based in Chicago, lost her brother to suicide in 2014 that she realized others in her community were impacted by a similar loss. She cofounded Under the Same Sky, which works with American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, to both help those struggling and to push open the door to meaningful discussions about mental health. “One of the biggest goals of Under the Same Sky, outside of raising funds to support those who have lost a loved one to suicide, is getting people to talk about suicide and mental health in general,” she tells AD PRO. “We truly believe that we must open the conversation to make a significant change for those struggling with mental health and for those who have lost a loved one to suicide. It’s the driving force of our mission.” 

Alexis O’Brien, public relations director at American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, elaborates on the importance of such dialogue. “Amy found that people seemed to be afraid to talk to her and that they didn’t know how to approach the subject. This can be a common experience for suicide loss survivors, which leads to feelings of loneliness and isolation,” she says.

Kartheiser’s Under the Same Sky organization helps fund the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention’s Healing Conversations program. “All volunteers for the program have themselves lost someone to suicide,” O’Brien explains. “Healing Conversations welcomes survivors of suicide loss as they are, wherever they are in their grief. While our volunteers won’t have all the answers, they are able to point those who are grieving to places they might find ongoing comfort, such as a local support group.”

In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, observed in May, Kartheiser shares some impactful ways that the design community can get help for that journey—and get involved in the conversation.

Amy Kartheiser: The idea of “talk” is going to be threaded throughout all programming that we push out on my Instagram page, @AmyKartheiserDesign, and in tandem with Under the Same Sky’s content. We’re kicking off our very first “walk and talk” social media challenge for designers and interested participants, not only to spark conversation around the topic, but also to raise vital funds in support of our partner, American Foundation for Suicide Prevention—specifically AFSP’s Healing Conversation program.

The #WalkandTalkChallenge idea was sparked because I use my daily walks to keep me sane, and to spiritually connect with my brother, Mark. I literally walk and talk to him out loud. (I try to check over my shoulder for passersby before starting to chat to him, but sometimes I am that woman.) It’s been so therapeutic in healing and processing, so I wanted to encourage people to get out there, get some fresh air, move their bodies—it does wonders for the mind!—and talk. 

We hope this challenge will not only bring awareness to the mission of Under the Same Sky, but will also push the design community to bring mental health conversations to the forefront of all that we do. It is such a high-demand industry, and one that is focused on beautiful things and the smallest of details, but real life is messy. I’m hopeful that by sharing my own journey grappling with the aftermath of suicide following Mark’s death, I can encourage fellow designers and the A+D community at large to do their part in bringing to light these conversations. 

Lastly, we have our next pop-up taking place virtually at utsscharity.org from May 13 through June 13, where all purchase proceeds will go to AFSP. I personally source products from makers around the globe for these shops, and we also have some amazing donated pieces from artists and designers that have found UTSS and were inspired to support our mission. It’s a fun way to shop—or source—for a good cause!

How do you choose which designers and artisans to spotlight in the shop? How can designers get involved?

I chose pieces that capture my heart. Every single item featured in the shop has been handcrafted by a true artisan; their stories and processes are what compel me to spotlight their products.

When I’m on my travels, for both personal and sourcing trips, if something or someone catches my eye, I stop to learn and experience—whether it’s Egyptian vases that have been crafted the same way for hundreds of years, intricate paper artworks with imperfections and unevenness, or caftans and pajamas hand-sewn by a husband and wife right there in the market in front of me. These are incredibly skilled craftspeople that have learned and honed their work from generation to generation.

Combined with the fact that I can easily envision any of the items I select in one of my client projects, I think the collection is a wonderfully unique place for other designers to source pieces for their own projects.

In a bigger way, donations—both donated goods for the shop or monetary gifts—are most certainly a welcome way for the design community to make the largest impact in support of our mission, and to do their part in working towards the much broader mission of ending the suicide epidemic.

What are some of the moments that have been particularly meaningful for you as you’ve grown the nonprofit?

One of the first things that stuck out to me following our launch was the response that I received from a Chicago Tribune article that featured UTSS. The outpouring of support and notes from readers from around the world took me by surprise, and that was the first time I really paused and thought, Wow, we are actually changing lives!

Also just as meaningful has been the amazing design connections we’ve made along the way. We had an incredible studio—Ark Papers out of Cape Town—reach out to us on Instagram about collaborating and supporting our mission. To think our charity has found its way to South Africa kind of blows my mind.

I’ve been so overwhelmed by the designers and showrooms that have asked to donate products and floor samples, or who have inquired about making products specifically for the shop. I’ll never really be able to express how cool that is for me—to turn something so devastating and disorienting into this beautiful thing that people want to be a part of, and all within the industry that I love.

Today Show

May 3, 2021, 11:53 AM CDT 

Source: TODAYBy Rachel Paula Abrahamson

The “Frozen” star struggled to manage her anxiety and depression as the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic began to unfold.

Like many Americans, Kristen Bell found herself glued to the TV as the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic began to unfold in 2020.

“I have trouble distinguishing between my emotions and someone else’s emotions, and that’s not a compliment to myself. That’s a very dangerous thing to toy with,” Bell told Self in a story published on Monday.

The news cycle took Bell, 40, to such a dark place, that her husband, Dax Shepard, had to intervene. Shepard, 46, was concerned about how Bell’s mental health was affecting their daughters, Lincoln, 8, and Delta, 6.

MIND & BODY

Kristen Bell recalls Dax Shepard confronting her about her mental health

The “Frozen” star struggled to manage her anxiety and depression as the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic began to unfold.May 3, 2021, 11:53 AM CDT / Source: TODAYBy Rachel Paula Abrahamson

Like many Americans, Kristen Bell found herself glued to the TV as the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic began to unfold in 2020.

“I have trouble distinguishing between my emotions and someone else’s emotions, and that’s not a compliment to myself. That’s a very dangerous thing to toy with,” Bell told Self in a story published on Monday.

The news cycle took Bell, 40, to such a dark place, that her husband, Dax Shepard, had to intervene. Shepard, 46, was concerned about how Bell’s mental health was affecting their daughters, Lincoln, 8, and Delta, 6.

Related

HEALTH & WELLNESS

How to find mental health support when you need it

“‘Hey, real quick, are you helping anyone right now by sitting and crying in your bed, or are you just being self-indulgent?’” Bell remembered Shepard saying. “Either get up and donate money or donate your time or do something to help, or take that story in, give it some love, and come out here and be a good mom and a good wife and a good friend and live your life in honor of the suffering that happens in the world.’”

Initially, the “Frozen” star was outraged. Then, she realized Shepard had a point.

Bell, a longtime mental health advocate, first started taking medication to deal with her anxiety and depression while studying at New York University’s Tisch School of the Arts.

“I wasn’t suicidal…. It was just a generalized dark cloud over me. I felt like my real personality was in a tiny cage inside my body,” she revealed.

MIND & BODY

Kristen Bell recalls Dax Shepard confronting her about her mental health

The “Frozen” star struggled to manage her anxiety and depression as the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic began to unfold.May 3, 2021, 11:53 AM CDT / Source: TODAYBy Rachel Paula Abrahamson

Like many Americans, Kristen Bell found herself glued to the TV as the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic began to unfold in 2020.

“I have trouble distinguishing between my emotions and someone else’s emotions, and that’s not a compliment to myself. That’s a very dangerous thing to toy with,” Bell told Self in a story published on Monday.

The news cycle took Bell, 40, to such a dark place, that her husband, Dax Shepard, had to intervene. Shepard, 46, was concerned about how Bell’s mental health was affecting their daughters, Lincoln, 8, and Delta, 6.

Related

HEALTH & WELLNESS

How to find mental health support when you need it

“‘Hey, real quick, are you helping anyone right now by sitting and crying in your bed, or are you just being self-indulgent?’” Bell remembered Shepard saying. “Either get up and donate money or donate your time or do something to help, or take that story in, give it some love, and come out here and be a good mom and a good wife and a good friend and live your life in honor of the suffering that happens in the world.’”

Initially, the “Frozen” star was outraged. Then, she realized Shepard had a point.

Bell, a longtime mental health advocate, first started taking medication to deal with her anxiety and depression while studying at New York University’s Tisch School of the Arts.

“I wasn’t suicidal…. It was just a generalized dark cloud over me. I felt like my real personality was in a tiny cage inside my body,” she revealed.https://www.instagram.com/p/CKRr5xjs1Wj/embed/captioned/?cr=1&v=8&wp=1116&rd=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.today.com&rp=%2Fhealth%2Factor-kristen-bell-details-mental-health-struggle-during-pandemic-t217265#%7B%22ci%22%3A0%2C%22os%22%3A2139.0000000000005%2C%22ls%22%3A1632.0000000000002%2C%22le%22%3A1648.0000000000002%7D

In addition to a daily selective serotonin inhibitor (SSRI), Bell uses exercise to boost her endorphins. Earlier this year, she shared a photo of herself after completing a cardio workout.

“I’ve been struggling the last 2 weeks, for who-knows-why-slash-ALL-the-reasons,” Bell wrote at the time. “Today I finally got back on the treadmill, figuratively and literally. And I’m proud. To anyone who’s been feeling the same, you can do it.”

Bell has also found that knitting and working on jigsaw puzzles help to clear her mind and keep her off her phone.

“I know that I present someone who is very bubbly and happy all the time, and a lot of the time I am, because I have really good tools,” she explained while speaking with Self. “But there are definitely days when the alarm goes off and I go, ‘No, I’m staying right here. Nothing’s worth it… I’m just going to stay in this cocoon because I need to be; because I feel very, very, very vulnerable.”

Bell has been working for years to help end the stigma around mental health.

“It occurred to me that I was showing this very bubbly, bright persona, and that it was unauthentic. Because it wasn’t telling the whole story,” Bell told TODAY Parents in 2018. “I had a pit in my stomach for almost feeling ashamed that I had hidden it for so long, because it could’ve helped people before if I had talked about it.”

Kristen Bell on ‘Frozen 2,’ ‘The Good Place,’ mental health

MARCH 29, 202008:46Rachel Paula Abrahamson by TaboolaSponsored StoriesUNIFY HEALTH LABSRandy Jackson: This 3 Minute Routine Transformed My HealthBLISSYThis Pillowcase is Becoming The Must-Have Mother’s Day Gift of 2021

Carrying trauma from your childhood is so draining and it has far-reaching effects on your physical and mental health. Many people experience flashbacks and PTSD symptoms after surviving sexual abuse as a child, but often, the impact is less direct. Even those that do not think about the abuse itself that much and assume that they are not affected by the trauma that much may experience a range of mental and physical health issues. Survivors of childhood sexual abuse do not always connect the dots and they don’t realize that the issues they experience are related to their trauma.

Source – Pixabay CCO License

Understanding what potential issues can be caused in adulthood can help survivors recognize when their trauma is affecting them. These are some of the most common physical and mental health issues caused by childhood sexual abuse. 

Depression

Depression is one of the most common mental health issues we face right now and there are a lot of reasons why people develop it in the first place. However, studies show that there is a strong correlation between people that experienced abuse as a child and people that suffer from serious depressive disorders. As an adult, attending depression counseling can help manage the symptoms and you may even be able to start unpacking some of that trauma.

However, research suggests that early intervention to support children is the key to avoiding this issue in later life. 

Substance Abuse And Eating Disorders 

Dangerous behaviors like substance abuse and eating disorders are also more prevalent in survivors of childhood sexual abuse. The symptoms of trauma are often difficult to manage, especially if the survivor does not have the support that they need. Many sexual abuse survivors also suffer from other mental health issues and it’s common for them to self medicate with alcohol or drugs. Eating disorders are often a way of gaining control over one aspect of their life because a person feels so out of control in other areas. 

Sexual Confusion

Sexual confusion is incredibly common in male survivors of childhood sexual assault. Boys that are abused by older men when they are too young to understand sexuality will be confused about whether they are homosexual or not. This confusion remains as they grow older and it can make it incredibly difficult for them to form meaningful relationships. 

Obesity 

We think of obesity as a fairly straightforward problem; if you eat too much, you gain weight. But it’s far more complicated than that and childhood sexual abuse often has a role to play. During a weight loss study, it was discovered that many of the participants that struggled to stop overeating had been abused as children. Further research in the area has shown that there is a direct correlation between obesity and childhood sexual abuse. 

If we are ever to deal with the issue of childhood sexual abuse and help survivors regain power over their lives, it is important that we understand just how much impact it has in adulthood. These are some of the most common ways that sexual abuse manifests in adulthood, but there are countless other health issues that it can cause.  

This is a collaborative post.

Melinda

We like to believe that we live in a generally safe world where our quality of life isn’t continually on the line. If we didn’t, we’d struggle to leave the house in the morning. 

But the truth is that we don’t live on a perfectly safe planet. In fact, there are dangers everywhere. 

Every minute of the day, for instance, somebody is injured in a crash, and many of the victims have life-changing disabilities that stay with them for the rest of their lives. 

You can’t really understand disability until you’ve experienced it. Suddenly, you find out that you can’t do all the things you used to be able to do, and it creates a whirlwind of emotions. Life just isn’t the same afterward, either mentally or physically. 

For many people, the first response is anger. If their disability was their fault, they feel a kind of rage against themselves. Why did they put themselves in danger? 

If their disability was somebody else’s fault, they feel a sense of violation against the person who did it to them, even if it was unintentional. There are often long court battles as people attempt to get compensation from another party. 

The anger, however, eventually becomes a cost if it lingers. The longer it goes on, the more it taxes the individuals. Eventually, it can harm their health further, leading to forms of depression and chronic disease. 

Losing your abilities is a little bit like losing somebody you love. If you can no longer walk, for instance, you go through a process of grieving over that loss. Instinctively, you know that the ability isn’t going to come back. And so you have to psychologically and emotionally deal with that fact before you can move on. 

That kind of mentality is quite destructive, but also commonplace in people who’ve been injured or develop a chronic condition. The trick, of course, is to recognize that life does go on and that there are plenty of things you can do to enjoy your existence. 

In some situations, disability can also breed loneliness. Some people find that they are more isolated from their friends and family because of the fact that they can no longer get around as well as they used to.

Loneliness can also occur at an emotional level. When you have a disability, you feel somewhat alienated from the people around you. Unlike you, they don’t know what it is like to be housebound or bedbound. And so they can’t really understand what life is like for a person in your situation. 

The solution here is to join a group of people who do understand what you’re going through so that you can voice your feelings and make them known. 

This is a collaborative post.

Melinda

In an age where everyone is constantly connected, and false pretenses are the norm, it can be hard to stay positive about life and yourself. Many teens have attested how social media has made them feel more insecure about how they look. This may be because filters and editing tools can make a person look entirely different from actual reality, creating false and unrealistic standards today’s generation of girls feel they need to live up to.

Plastic surgeons have even come up with a new term called “Snapchat Dysmorphia,” which is a condition doctors have found mostly in adolescent women who try to get plastic surgery in order to look more like what they look like on Snapchat or Instagram with all the added filters. Looking after yourself has never been more vital, especially when living in a world that is constantly trying to convince you of what is acceptable and considered beautiful. That said, here are some tips on what you can do to look after your mental health in a digital age.

Photo by mikoto.raw from Pexels

Limit Screen Time

It may sound like a childish approach at first, but limiting the amount of time you spend on your phone, and especially online, can do wonders for your mental well-being. The more time to spend online, the less time you spend in the real world, being productive and practicing other healthy habits. Social media is helpful in a long list of ways. Whether it is to gain exposure for your business, staying in touch with friends and family, or learning more about what’s going on in the world around you, anything you do excessively will ultimately lead to an imbalance of some sort in your life. Moderation is key, which is why setting boundaries to the amount of time you spend on social media can open up loads of time for other important things like work, family time, getting in some exercise, or even just relaxing. You’ve probably found yourself hopping on Instagram for a quick catch-up, only to find yourself an hour later, still scrolling, each post just as interesting as the one before it. This is why it’s essential to set a limit because, whether you notice it or not, it happens more than you think. 

Protect Yourself

One of the less glamorous things about social media is the fact that we can’t always control what pops up. Suggested posts are brought to your feed, and before you know it, you stumble upon something that may offend or really bother you. This isn’t necessarily social media’s fault; even though they try to keep a tight rein on what’s posted on their platform, there are billions of people posting each and every minute, making it almost impossible for them to regulate content thoroughly. They have, however, given you a small amount of authority and have taken your power of free will online by giving you an unfollow, block, and report button. These buttons aren’t just there to look pretty; they cause real action once implemented and can lead to the platform taking a closer look at the relevant content and disposing of the post (or the entire account if necessary) in order to make your experience better. Have a look at https://backlightblog.com/how-to-block-unblock-on-instagram to learn more about how to use some of these helpful tools. 

Tech Cleanse

Many celebrities have taken some time off from their social media accounts with millions of followers for a bit of a break-away. These public figures have realized how stressful and pressurizing the online world can be and have learned that taking some personal time can only benefit one’s mental health. Allowing yourself a tech cleanse from time to time will lift your spirits and make you feel like an entirely new person – this means taking a period of time and detaching yourself from the online world. No, you don’t have to lock away your phone in a drawer and throw away the key, just take a breather from the hustle and bustle of social media and do some self-reflecting, pamper yourself a bit, maybe even take up a new hobby or learn a new skill. The online world isn’t going anywhere soon and will definitely still be there by the time you get back!

Your number one priority should always be you at the end of the day, whether it be physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually. Take some time, give yourself some space, and do whatever you need to do to ensure you stay happy and healthy, inside and out.

This is a collaborative post.

Melinda

eSchool News

Justin Reilly, CEO, Impero Software

April 19, 2021

Students are under unprecedented stress from COVID-19—and their mental health is suffering

According to a 2019 survey from the Centers for Disease Control, approximately one in five youths reported they’d seriously considered attempting suicide within the last year, while one in six had actually made a suicide plan, and one in 11 had made an attempt. Since the pandemic began, things have only gotten worse. In 2020 Mental Health America reported an uptick in severe major depression and suicidal ideation among youth. It noted in September 2020 that more than half of 11- to 17-year-olds reported they had experienced frequent thoughts of suicide or self-harm in the last two weeks. Other statistics are equally alarming.

Simply put, this pandemic has pushed stress levels of many youth to the breaking point. There are many contributing factors, such as isolation from peers, concern about loved ones getting sick, family financial issues such as job losses, and stress from navigating distance learning.

Then there are the situations in which child abuse and exploitation occur. During the early months of the pandemic, for example, child abuse complaints dropped, sometimes by as much as 50 percent. That’s not because abuse and exploitation issues were down. Just the opposite–the abuse was unreported because it wasn’t being seen by those who would typically catch it.

Teachers and school staff are often a first line of defense to report abuse and identify and support students who are dealing with stress and anxiety, because they are with the student all week and often see the telltale signs of a problem. For instance, is the student suddenly withdrawn from friends? Have they stopped eating at lunch? Are they suddenly lacking proper hygiene? But during the pandemic, in many cases teachers aren’t seeing the students as often, if at all, in person. This makes it more difficult for them to detect potential problems, but it doesn’t make it impossible.

There are certain things teachers can watch for. In the eBook“Supporting Student Mental Health and Safety during Remote Learning,” experts noted these behaviors could be cause for concern:

1. Increasingly withdrawn behavior. Has a student who typically participates a lot in class suddenly stopped? If so, this could be a sign that there is something more going on.
2. Increased attention-seeking behavior. A student who typically is very respectful of the rules of an online environment is increasingly engaging in behavior that requires the teacher’s attention. It might be as simple as clicking their mute button on and off during a lesson or dressing inappropriately when on camera.
3. Significant changes in attendance, or suddenly wanting to keep their video off when they previously had it on.

To support students, teachers can schedule one-on-one virtual check-ins to see how students are doing. They can also provide their contact information and make sure students know they can reach out if they need to talk. Some schools use technology that allows staff to monitor students’ online activity and teachers to report concerns. A free tool called back:drop lets teachers track and record wellbeing information and concerns. Teachers can take advantage of tools like this if they’re available to keep tabs on potential issues and intervene if needed. Mental Health America also has a toolkit with tips to support students’ mental health.

The long-term impact of the pandemic in terms of students’ mental health is yet to be seen. In the short term however, teachers and school staff can help students weather the storm by keeping an eye on how students are behaving online, and by taking advantage of the resources mentioned above.  These tools and practices can help teachers continue to be that first line of defense.

eSchool Media Contributors

Justin Reilly, CEO, Impero Software

Justin Reilly is a former teacher and education leader with 20 years of experience leading EdTech businesses to success. With an early career teaching mathematics and information and communications technologies in UK secondary schools, Reilly understands firsthand the challenges associated with digital learning. He currently serves as CEO of Impero Software, a leader in student safety software. He has also served as the CEO of Mwabu Group, one of Africa’s leading EdTech businesses, serving schools and ministries of education in some of the most remote and unstable regions and as vice president of technology delivery and strategic partnerships at Pearson Education and CEO of Fronter AS, a provider of learning management systems. He works at Impero’s UK office in Nottingham.

Military.com

19 Apr 2021Military.com 

 By  Jim Absher

A recent study in the Journal of the American Medical Association reports that female veterans with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) are more than twice as likely as male veterans to suffer from ischemic heart disease than those without PTSD.

The study examined nearly 400,000 female veterans, of which nearly one-third suffered from PTSD. The results of that study reflected that female veterans suffering from PTSD were 44% more likely to have the debilitating heart disease than their fellow veterans who did not have PTSD.

A similar study done in 2017 found that male veterans suffering from PTSD were 18% more likely to suffer from heart disease than their fellow veterans who did not have PTSD.

PTSD can affect women and men in different ways. Women with PTSD are more likely to feel depressed and anxious, while men with PTSD are more likely to have problems with alcohol or drugs. However, while both women and men who experience PTSD may develop physical health problems, the severity and preponderance of those symptoms also differ between the sexes. 

According to the Department of Veterans Affairs, between 11% and 20% of modern-day veterans suffer from PTSD.

According to the American Heart Association, ischemic heart disease refers to problems caused by narrowing of the arteries. That results in less blood and oxygen reaching the heart muscle and ultimately can lead to a heart attack. 

As with men, the most common symptom of a heart attack in women is chest pain or discomfort. But women are somewhat more likely than men to experience some of the other common symptoms, particularly shortness of breath, nausea/vomiting and back or jaw pain.

Ischemic heart disease is also known as coronary artery disease or coronary heart disease.

Often, ischemic heart disease has no symptoms and can lead to a heart attack with no prior warning. 

Despite advances in prevention and treatment, cardiovascular disease remains the leading cause of death worldwide. In the U.S., one in four deaths is caused by heart disease.

See: VA Finds PTSD Affects Women Differently Than Men

The study further found that female veterans who suffered from PTSD at relatively young ages, especially those under 40 years old, were at greater risk for heart disease.

The authors of the study recommend that physicians closely monitor patients with PTSD for coronary and related diseases as a result of their findings.

Stay on Top of Your Veteran Benefits

Military benefits are always changing. Keep up with everything from pay to health care by subscribing to Military.com, and get access to up-to-date pay charts and more with all latest benefits delivered straight to your inbox.Related Topics:  Military HeadlinesPost Traumatic Stress Disorder – PTSDWomen in the MilitaryVeterans

Genetic Engineering & Biotechnology News

April 19, 2021

An inability to stop what you are doing or are about to do can cause considerable distress. Until recently, uncontrolled eating or binge eating, an eating disorder, has been linked to reduced self-regulation under stress, or deficits in brain regions responsible for inhibitory control. But this popular theory of impulsivity-induced binge eating has no direct evidence.

A new study led by scientists at the University of Cambridge examined how experimentally induced stress affects self-regulation in normal individuals and women with anorexia and bulimia. Functional magnetic resonance imaging (FMRI) neuroimaging of participants under stressful and neutral conditions showed that stress-induced lack of self-control is too simplistic and inadequate in explaining the cause of binge eating.

These findings were reported in the article, “Prefrontal Responses During Proactive and Reactive Inhibition Are Differentially Impacted by Stress in Anorexia and Bulimia Nervosa,” published in the Journal of Neuroscience.

Earlier neuroimaging studies in patients with bulimia nervosa (BN) reported reduced activity in frontostriatal regions that are important in self-control, resulting in the popular theory that posits binge eating results from a failure of self-regulation under stress. However, there has been no direct evidence that stress impairs self-regulation in binge-eating disorders.

The researchers determined the effect of acute stress on self-control in 85 women, including 33 women with BN, 22 women with anorexia nervosa and bingeing or purging (AN-BP), and 30 normal women.

The authors performed a validated method of measuring proactive (anticipation of stopping) and reactive (outright stopping) inhibition called the stop-signal anticipation task, on all participants coupled with repeated FMRI scans for two consecutive days. The stop-signal anticipation task entailed pushing a button to stop a moving bar when it reached a specific point on the screen. On some trials, the bar stopped early, and the participants had to stop themselves from pushing the button.

The results showed women with BN showed reduced proactive inhibition while prefrontal responses were increased in women with both AN-BP and BN, whereas reactive inhibition remained intact in both diagnostic groups. Both AN-BP and BN groups showed distinct, stress-induced changes in inferior and superior frontal activity during both proactive and reactive inhibition tasks, but task performance was unaffected by stress.

These findings provide novel evidence of reduced proactive inhibition in BN, yet these inhibitory control deficits did not generalize to women with AN-BP. The results show that stress alters brain activity associated with inhibitory control in both groups of women with eating disorders but had no effect on their ability to stop their actions. These results demonstrate that self-inhibition is intact in the face of stress and the underlying neural mechanism behind binge eating is more complex than previously thought.

“Our findings identify intriguing alterations of stress responses and inhibitory function associated with binge eating, but they counsel against stress-induced failures of inhibitory control as a comprehensive explanation for loss-of-control eating,” the authors noted.

Chronic depression is a mental illness that millions of people experience to some degree each year. All types of things can trigger depression in anyone, such as trauma, grief, getting laid off, and money worries. The chances are high that you know someone with depression.

Did you know some depression triggers aren’t as common as the examples listed above? In fact, some causes of depression are pretty surprising. The following are six triggers that you probably wouldn’t have realized cause depression in most people:

Image Source

1. Certain Times of the Year

Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD for short, is a mood disorder that can cause some people to experience symptoms of depression but only at certain times of the year. Most people with SAD experience symptoms during the winter months.

However, SAD can also strike in the summer. In those cases, the reason is that the body finds it difficult to adjust to new seasons.

2. Quitting Smoking

If a person used to be a heavy smoker and decided to quit the habit, they will likely experience symptoms of depression. Smoking can obviously be addictive, and when a person gives up such a long-term habit, they start to get withdrawal symptoms.

Nicotine, one of the common elements in cigarettes, creates high levels of the neurotransmitters dopamine and serotonin. When a person gives up smoking, they have significantly lower levels, resulting in feelings of depression.

3. Chronic Pain

Have you ever noticed that people with chronic (i.e., continuous) physical pain often seem unhappy? They might take medication to ease the pain, yet they still appear sad. That’s because chronic pain can also cause depression symptoms.

It makes sense to couple medication with other forms of pain relief like therapy sessions with a chiropractor in such circumstances. Doing so can help some people have less severe symptoms of depression.

4. Poor Quality of Sleep

It’s no secret that people who regularly have a poor quality of sleep end up feeling irritable and generally not very pleasant to be around. However, some of those individuals could have a high risk of developing chronic depression.

If you experience a poor quality of sleep, you should take immediate steps to diagnose and resolve the reasons why that’s the case. For example, the issue might be down to an unsuitable bed or pillow, or your sleeping partner’s snoring could disturb your sleep.

5. Internet Addiction

Most people spend at least one or two hours each day surfing the Web and catching up on their social media feeds. If you spend significantly more time online each and every day, your Internet addiction could result in you developing depression.

6. Your Environment

It’s a well-known fact that people who live in abusive home environments are highly likely to develop depression. But, what you might not know is that something as simple as the area where you live can trigger depression symptoms.

That’s because people who live in densely populated areas typically have higher levels of stress, and that can trigger feelings of depression in those individuals.

This is a collaborative post.

Melinda

What The April Writing Prompts are About & How to Participate

The linkups are a monthly get-together for anyone with a chronic illness, mental disorder, or disability. It’s an opportunity to share, to listen, and to learn from one another through shared writing prompts. I also think it’s a great way to provide insight into life with chronic illness from many different points of view.

All you have to do is write using at least three of the writing prompts listed below, and publish it on your blog, or to a free writing platform like Medium. Then click on the blue ‘Add Link’ button to add your blog post to this page. Voilà, you’re now part of the linkup party!

April Writing Prompts!

Springing

Luxuriating

Sustaining

Daunting

Grounding

 We are springing into Spring and Summer around our house. The lilies have popped up and survived the winter storm. I’ve planted basil, cilantro, marigolds in orange and yellow, a red dahlia, two Gerber daisies, one orange, and one in pink. I also have one pick geranium and six tomato plants. Last year we had so many birds dive-bombing the tomatoes we put up shiny green flower spinners this year. They are so fun to watch. Keeps you from getting bored looking in the back of the yard. I planted fewer flowers this year knowing that there’s a chance it would be too much to keep up with during the hot summer days. I’ll write about it in the next paragraph but so glad I planted less because I’ve now scheduled knee replacement surgery for June. Looks like I’ll be having lots of help watering this summer.

I’m enjoying my time before the medical appointments start running back to back. My knee replacement surgery is scheduled for June, it’s been a long time coming. I have yet to start my Plasma Infusion treatments. I’m so frustrated with insurance for taking so long to approve the treatments. I was told last week that insurance turns most around in two days and I’ve been waiting over a week and still no answers. Today they were so busy I couldn’t even get an insurance person in the Infusion office on the phone. I’ve been preparing for my treatments. You spend three to four hours in a lounge chair much like you do while having Chemotherapy but I’ll be having Blood Plasma dripped into the veins. I have a warm blanket, a small travel pillow, downloaded several books to review on the iPad, a new book to start if I need to turn pages, a new mask that has a slot for filters, and of course lots of hand sanitizers. I’ve also bought a new sweater since I think it’s going to be very cold in the room. I had Antibiotic Infusion treatments when I was so sick with Lyme and imagine it will be like that only I had most of my treatments at home. The side effects last three to four days and are all over the place, I have more reading to do on that subject.

I don’t write about my husband very often but he does sustain me, for 20 years now he has sustained me. He never makes me feel pressured or guilty for what I do or don’t accomplish during the day. If I sleep in or need a nap it’s never a problem or the evil eye. We cook together so the burden doesn’t fall all on me and on weekends he usually does all the cooking. He does all his own laundry and has for years, I don’t even remember when that started. One thing that is important to us is to work hard to watch at least one television show together and have time to talk before I go to bed. As I’ve mentioned in several of my Fibromyalgia posts, I go to bed long before he does. It’s my unwind and rest time. I know that whatever comes my way, he’s going to be there, working hard to make everything ok and take the burden off of me.

Are you enjoying the monthly prompt post? Are you learning anything or able to pass anything on to someone who might need the information?

Melinda