People who have a Mental Illness are like you and me, the only difference is instead of having Diabetes, they have wiring problems in the brain. Both have to take their medication or bad things can happen. Unless you know someone who has a Mental Illness you may have a stigma to overcome.
It’s a difficult time for people who have severe mental illness due to stigma and the ongoing hate in our country. Mental Illness is often overdramatized by television, nightly news, and trash rags, and Social Media is the worst.
There are many factors to consider when deciding to help a person during a Mental Health crisis. You can have the biggest heart in the world but your safety has to come first. If someone looks out of control, you can’t rush in and make the situation worst. You will have to help from afar.
The first step I would take if I saw someone acting, out of control, psychotic, delusional, talking to themself loudly, yelling out at people walking by, and maybe self-harm. against themselves, to name a few. I would call the police in the area, walk away and come back by to see they’re gone.
We want to help but we have to think about ourselves and our families. This is also a good read for teens that may find themself in a position to help. The way we can help reduce stigma is to learn the basics of Mental Health.
Even on medication or several medications people with severe mental illnesses, medications can stop working, some people will not take their medication and others have a more serious crisis. In an ideal world, we could easily find urgent Mental Health support in several areas of the city.
One important note!
If someone is clearly having a crisis or breakdown you can access the situation from afar and CALL POLICE.
If you see someone in need you have a couple of choices.
Call the police.
Call someone that knows him that can help.
Ask someone in the general area, do they know him or do they have his/her’s phone number. I would go as far as calling the number but would not get involved.
If there is a Mental Health Charity nearby, go there and ask them to help him.
Call the police!!!!!!! I can’t say this enough because the person may not know what they’re doing, have a weapon, steal your purse, steal your phone, and could become violent. I have Treatment-Resistant Bipolar Disorder and have had my own crisis in my front yard with a Police pointing a gun at me.
*Most cities have talked for years about having several officers trained in Mental Health but I can’t say anything has been done.
We have to think hard these days about all people we meet, but if a person is erratic, violent, talking loudly to themselves, or walking in circles, you don’t have the skills to help and may get yourself hurt.
I watch almost nothing but Police, Law, and Spy show, you can imagine what I’ve seen. Television is drama, not real unless it states. When the show Dallas went off the air, I was in shock but quickly my mind settled, this was a nice overly dramatic show, just an escape.
The last thing I want to do is add to the STIGMA of Mental Illness, that goes against who I am. We need more free resources around town to support those in need. If you’re an abled body Advocate, look at the resources available in your town/city. Start relationships with the person by checking in every week, learn from this person where the crisis is happening, and see if you can get a Charity, Corporate or use your own money to build some signs, have a table with information about Mental Illness.
I hear too much disturbing news all day long, and so or our kids. Limiting children’s time on the computer and all social media, I don’t care if they’ve done it one way, You are the boss and the boss is making changes. Have strong settings on the phone, and don’t allow access to Social Media during school or other family functions.
While you are making changes to computer usage, your child might be savvy and try to get a phone. Don’t Do It!
Don’t fall for these B.S. Excuses!
My best friend has one
My bother has one
All the girls in my school have one.
I have to be a to reach my friends
With all the mass shootings in America scaring you as much as me, I would make some exceptions. As these are for school safety only and you can only call, the police, parents, or friends who may be able to help. Don’t allow them to get on the Internet from the phone.
Visit the NAMI for all information on Mental Illness and excellent support systems.
I have a passion for Mental Health Support and America is driving off the rails and leaving people on the streets and no support for their Mental Illness. Now is the time to bring the faces of Mental Illness to the front, and educate children and adults with real content and support services.
I did not say anything about helping someone yourself, when someone’s in a crisis they can get violent. I will never ask anyone to put their life in danger. One nice gesture, if they are calm, stop and get a couple bottles of water and a sandwich.
I first joined WordPress in 2005 with a blog called Defining Memories and in 2014 I started Looking for the Light.
There is no way to thank everyone who has supported me thru the years. I am grateful every time you visit or leave a comment. Looking for the Light is a passion of mine, I like helping others if I can and work hard to be an armchair advocate.
I would not be the person I am today without all the kind words and I’ve learned so much in the past 14 years, you are great bloggers.
Happy Anniversary with WordPress.com! You registered on WordPress.com 14 years ago. Thanks for flying with us. Keep up the good blogging.
Are you having a problem with your WordPress site you are not alone and if luck you may get the issue fixed. Contact the Happiness Engineers every day, and contact them over and over until your issues are solved.
This is a similar post to what I’ve written about before, it’s a new problem that showed up yesterday. This is why Fortune 500 companies use the best practices for programmers by doing changes and updates offline. When programming is done live in the working with core systems, a fiasco continues almost daily.
My beef started on 5/11/2023 when the programmers jump in to make a change to the Reblog Sytems changes, I’ve had so many issues with bugs in the system, bugs that pop up before the original question I get answered.
WordPress has a bad reputation and I may have to share some articles with media and social media to see if WP gets the point.
I don’t want to leave WP, I want them to do their job, in a high-quality manner that services Bloggers.
I’ve been in heavy conversation with WordPress since 5/11/23 when they started on the Oh-So important Reblog changes. I hope this last post will give me the answer I need and no longer have to spend hours a day communicating with WordPress.
Thank you for hanging in while I work out my problems with WordPress.
I pray they get the sytem bugs worked out and then leave the process alone.
*This post is from 2017 and I’ve updated it to capture the years between 2017 and 2023.
There are times when Chronic Illness can get the better of you. I had such a week resulting in shaving my hair off. I’m no GI Jane but do have a nice head minus the scars from brain surgery.
For the past 13 years, I’ve been a caregiver to my grandparents and spent time in Psychic Hospital twice for ECT treatments. Finding an answer to my heart problem took three years, two cardiologists, and a trip to The Mayo Clinic I had a diagnosis in four days.
The search for ?? (Lyme Diseases) started in 2012 and the diagnosis in 2014. It took two attempts to find a competent doctor and tons of frustration. I’m not driving, my cognitive abilities like balance and memory were taken by Lyme.
Last week I discovered a total knee replacement is required and scheduled for 11/14/17. All the falls from Lyme blew out my right knee.
Wild Crazy Hair
I’m not one to have a pity party but the weight on my shoulders became too much. I gave my husband many reasons why I shaved my head, the truth is CONTROL. I have four chronic illnesses and have to manage my health every day and every day can be different. There are many days I don’t have the strength to bathe, on those days I use medical-grade body wipes.
I’m 54, my mental illness is close to balanced, was looking forward to driving after several years, and most importantly I want to know who I am.
Shaving my head was liberating, a part of the new me came out. I can control some things and have to roll with the punches on others.
Can you imagine coming home from work to find your wife has shaved their head? My husband wasn’t surprised.
Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their site with you. This week we highlight a new blogger, Mother Wintermoon.
Spiritual treasure hunter, learner, teacher, mystic, nurturer, and scribbler balancing on the tightrope between worlds. I share and receive guidance from Source and my Mentors in the celestial realm.
Peaceful warrior writing and winding my way through c-PTSD, loss, and grief.
I believe you and I crossed paths for a reason, at this pivotal moment in earth’s revolution. Welcome all lovers of the written word sharing your journeys and seeking to create community.
Check out her incredible storytelling and exciting art.
My Gramps was the one they broke the mold on, he was the calmest, help anyone in need, and family’s first type of man and he worked hard.
I was a previous drug addict, alcoholic, and an out-of-control teen when I went to live with my grandparents. Gramps was a year from retirement so he was about 62 years old, he looked forward to fishing and playing dominos every day. Now there’s a 14-year-old living with them, not something either of us expected.
They raised me with tough love, the Greatest Generation way. I had so many rules to follow and I did not want to disappoint my grandparents by breaking them.
I didn’t realize he was not my biological grandfather until about 8 or 9 years old. Granny and I were talking and I said why is Gramp’s name different than my father’s. I was crushed at first then realized how fortunate I was to have him in my life. He was the only father I had, my father created trauma in my life and I had little to do with him.
If only everyone had someone like my Gramps in their life.
Served in WWII
I think of you and miss you so much my heart aches. See you soon.
Each week I showcase one of my favorite songs. I’m so glad you dropped by, have a great weekend.
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share; the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the ‘Weekend Music Share‘ banner in your post, and don’t forget to use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
I vomited in my new Land Rover on the way home from work. I could not pull over fast enough, vomit was everywhere and I didn’t have a napkin. Once I arrived home, the clean-up began. It was getting late and stopped only to find I had locked myself out of the house. I was living in a new neighborhood and only had three neighbors. I found a light on and asked if I could borrow a phone book, and she said yes. Bet I smelled bad and this was the first time I met her. Even after a professional cleaning it smelled and I traded it for something else.
My friends and I went to dinner to celebrate my 33rd birthday. Out of the blue, I decided to get a tattoo and a belly button ring. Several of us drove to a bad part of town because they wanted to watch me get the tattoo. Thank goodness I was drunk, they said on the sign not to be drunk but at that age, I was on top of the world.
FYI, the belly button piercing hurt so bad, like your guts were being pulled out. After six months of babying the spot, it would not heal and I took it out.
My gramps had Prostate and Bladder Cancer, the two pushing against each other caused him to have to pee about every 10-15 minutes. My cousin was in a small plane crash and was in really bad shape, Gramps had to go see him. The problem was the hospital was 1.5 hours away. Knowing that we would be stopping along the way I took an empty Gatorade bottle for emergencies. I’m flying down the highway close to 100 miles an hour and Gramps says I have to pee now! I had to push the accelerator all the way down to find an exit. I was Speed Racer! I found a spot and he peed in the bottle. It wasn’t funny at the time but it sure is now.
Here are a few products I’m in love with right now. I hope you find a new product to add to your household or self-care routine. The list may also give you ideas for a surprise for friends, family, or co-workers.
Olly Heavenly Hair Growth Gummies 60 count
It supports strong, healthy growth with Keratin, Amla, Biotin, and Minerals. They have a Tropical Citrus flavor which tastes good and is not too hard to chew. I haven’t been taking long enough to give you the results. Very affordable compared to other top gummies.
Dr. Hauschka Lip Care Stick
It softens, hydrates, and protects with a hint of flavor. No gloss or gooey lips, just pure natural goodness. The first products were launched in 1967 and Elisabeth Sigmund trained the first Dr. Hauschka Esthetician in 1971.
Weleda Skin Food Nourishing Body Lotion
The lotion is creamy and soaks in quickly. I love that the bottle stands upside down so the lotion is always at the top, no more squeezing to get to the bottom of the bottle. From Weleda’s website.
“Some cosmetics leech small microplastic beads and liquid plastics, such as silicones, into rivers and oceans, which pollutes the environment. We do not use these substances. Our Body Cleansing Scrub, for example, uses environmentally friendly wax beads made from carnauba and beeswax. We believe that quality and sustainability go hand in hand.”
Prime TV by Amazon
If you are a Prime Member you get so many perks it’s hard to believe for the price. One of our favorites is free Prime TV, it’s loaded with original content, movies for all ages, and series. We’re addicted to The Practice right now. All the regular TV shows have ended for the season, and now we have plenty of shows to watch.
I buy most of my products from Amazon.
What products have you added to your life that you love?
Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their site with you. This week we highlight a new blogger, RabBits.
Stories about family, faith, friends and funnies. Pull up a chair. Grab a cup of coffee and laugh, cry, ponder and inspire about ordinary events of this wonderful, ever changing, bubbling pot that we call “every day life”.
RabBits is one interesting blog and I know you will find something that strikes you.
I went from 5/11 to 6/10 without an answer about why the Reblog process is changing and how to properly reblog. It’s a long read, you can skip down to the end of the post if you already know the new steps and my comments are at the end.
Reblogging Gets a Refresh
June 8, 2023
Dave Martin
Reblogging is a way to show appreciation for another creator’s work while also providing your own audience with a valuable piece of news, work of art, or thought-provoking opinion. We recently made a few significant improvements to the experience of reblogging to make it more customizable for you while also ensuring the original creator gets the credit they deserve.
What’s new with reblogging
1. Freedom to choose your title
You’ll now find the title field empty when you’re taken to the editor to reblog a piece of content. Rather than automatically using the original post’s title, you’re free to add your own flair. This allows you more creative freedom and reassures your audience (and the original creator) that you’re not simply passing off another person’s work as your own.
2. No more default featured image
We’ve also changed the automatic import of the featured image. This helps avoid the appearance of content duplication while also helping you manage your site’s media storage limits more effectively. That doesn’t mean you’re stuck with text only, though — you can still add your own featured image to the reblogged post.
3. A new way to embed
Lastly, we’ve replaced the Quote Block with the core Embed Block for the post you’re reblogging. This change provides a more accurate representation of the original content and makes for a nice visual experience for your readers. Here’s what it looks like:
How do I reblog a post from the WordPress.com Reader?
Reblogging a post within the WordPress.com Reader is a simple process. Here’s how it works:
1. Navigate to the Reader by clicking on the “Reader” tab in your WordPress.com dashboard.
2. Browse through the posts until you find one you’d like to reblog. Click on the “Share” (arrow) button located at the bottom of the post.
3. Select the site that you’d like to reblog this post to.
4. You’ll be taken to the editor, where you can add your own title along with any additional thoughts or comments.
5. When you’re ready, click “Publish” to share the post on your own blog.
A more enjoyable experience for all
We believe these changes will make reblogging a more respectful and gratifying experience for everyone. As always, we’re eager to hear your thoughts. Try out the new process and let us know what you think!
Happy reblogging!
Cool! You are now subscribed. Now you can check your email for more details and how to manage the subscription.
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I read thru the replies and many didn’t even know they could turn off the reblog button! What does that tell you? The Reblogging changes were to satisfy a few claiming reblogging is PLAGERISM. It seems counterintuitive to make changes to a process that already worked.
I’m asking EVERYONE ON WORDPRESS to contact a Happiness Engineer via email or chat and tell them you want notifications on pressing information including systems changes pushed thru the Notification section and not by email.
I’m not down on WordPress enough to leave but I would like them to send us news about upcoming projects, projected dates, what’s is the purpose of the change thru the Notifications, not an email. They can push information to us and we are less in the dark. After the project is finished a new notification goes out with how to apply the changes.
“Our patients go to battle every day, fighting through their pain to go to work, play with their kids, be ‘normal’ – medication is only one piece of the puzzle”
Dr. Jacob Hascalovici, MD, PhD Co-Founder & Chief Medical Officer
I had not been to the Clearing App in a while and I wanted to know what was new. I found the quote and had to share it. Here are two posts I wrote about Clearing.
Each week I showcase one of my favorite songs. I’m so glad you dropped by, have a great weekend.
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share; the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the ‘Weekend Music Share‘ banner in your post, and don’t forget to use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
In life, we all go through challenging instances. Life isn’t full of happiness all of the time and there will always be certain issues that we have to deal with. Whether we’re talking about health-related issues or something to do with our line of work, nothing ever goes as smoothly as we’d like. This might seem like a terrible thing because we’d all prefer a hassle-free life, but that’s not how things work. We need a few negatives in our life in order to really enjoy the positives. The chances are that your family will be going through a few issues at some point in their lives, and it’s up to you to make sure that you support them and provide positivity along the way.
Whether you are dealing with elderly parents that need extra help or somebody in your family has gotten a little ill, there’s always something you can do to help out. Helping out in a physical sense is obviously very important, but there’s so much you can do from a mental standpoint, too. While the right mental attitude won’t solve all of your problems, it can put you in a much better place to deal with the issues at hand. If you are happy and content during certain instances, you will make life so much easier. If you have family members that are going through a negative time right now, here are a few ways you can nurture positivity and show amazing support:
When rough times occur, it’s so important that you partake in active listening when communicating with family members during challenging times. You have to put yourself in their shoes and really understand where they’re coming from. This will help to show compassion. Let them express themselves without feeling judged and do not interrupt. When you foster this kind of supportive and empathetic environment, you help to create a foundation for them to really express themselves and improve.
Encourage Healthy Coping Mechanisms And Overall Self-Care
Coping mechanisms are all part of one’s recovery and dealing with issues. The problem is that a lot of people delve into the wrong kinds of coping mechanisms. It’s up to you to help them to develop healthier habits. Encourage them to engage in activities that will make them happier while bringing in a lot of joy and relaxation. Exercising, pursuing hobbies, and spending time outdoors can all contribute. Offer support whenever you can in terms of their self-care activities. It’s also wise to help them with the likes of journaling and seeking our professional help. When they have these kinds of outlets, they are provided with a safe space to process their emotions and understand more about themselves during tough times.
Look For Professional Help And Resources In Appropriate Areas
There will only be so much you can do to help them in this world. There will be times when you have to solicit help from professionals and those who are experienced in certain fields. If they are dealing with mental health issues, encouraging them to speak to a counselor would make a lot of sense. If they need specialized care, such as dementia care treatment, you might need to explore The likes of memory care facilities or home care facilities. If they have access to professional resources, it will help them to navigate rough times more conveniently.
Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their site with you. This week we highlight a new blogger, Karima Hoisan.
I perform frequent readings throughout SL, utilizing voice with selected music, some, my own original compositions, and images I display of photographs and artwork to accompany each poem.
Make sure you visit her site, the artwork is amazing!
I want to give a special thanks to Publisher Soraya Nair of Trigger Publishing for sending me Work It Out by Fiona Thomas. The book is so relevant in our lives today.
About the Author
Fiona Thomas is a freelance writer who was born in Glasgow but is now living in Birmingham, UK.
Since starting her mental health blog in 2012 she has been published in Metro, Reader’s Digest, Happiful Magazine and Grazia to name a few. She has also been featured in Cosmopolitan, Red Magazine, Good Housekeeping and Refinery29. She speaks regularly about mental health and freelancing at events all over the UK.
Her first book ‘Depression in a Digital Age: The Highs and Lows of Perfectionism’ was published in 2018, and was called “brilliantly honest” by bestselling author Emma Gannon. Her second book ‘Out of Office: Ditch the 9-5 and Be Your Own Boss’ is a guide to freelancing with a focus on mindset, practicality and mental health.
Her passion is working with female-led businesses and shining a light on the positive impact that freelancing can have on our wellbeing.
Blurb
“A brilliantly honest reminder about how to control your online space and not let it control you” – Emma Gannon, Sunday Times bestselling author
“Fiona writes about mental health with fearless honesty and a quick wit. So much will resonate with so many” – Yvette Caster, host of Mentally Yours podcast
Fiona Thomas was your average ’80s baby. She grew up without an iPhone, used actual landlines to make calls and didn’t have the luxury (or perhaps the curse) of Facebook during her adolescent years. But though her childhood took place in an analogue world, she found herself suffering from the same problems many young people face today: the race for perfectionism, high levels of anxiety, a fear of success.
After an unfulfilling university experience, a stressful beginning in a management career and a severe case of impostor syndrome, Fiona suffered a nervous breakdown in her mid-twenties. Amongst therapy and medication, it was the online community that gave Fiona the comfort she needed to recover and find a career that made her happy.
Through her own experience at the time and with the benefit of hindsight, Fiona provides signposts for the reader to help them to understand:
the importance of the right type of connection, both on and offline, not only with others but with oneself
how connection can aid in recovery
that finding the right career can help to enhance our wellbeing and mental health
how and why purpose and wellbeing are interlinked.
Peppered with listicles, questions to ask yourself and key takeaways, Work It Out perfectly combines first-person lived experience with practical advice. Fiona shows us how to prioritize our mental health by finding the right purpose-centered career and how the internet has helped to make that possible.
My Thoughts
Our lives are surrounded by Social Media if we let it and Work It Out shows you how to keep Social Media from taking over your life, and how to make real connections. Fiona share her experience with mental health challenges including a nervous breakdown and how along with medication the Social Media community gave her the support and comfort she needed.
Thru her personal experiences, she discusses how to understand the importance of the right type of connection, how and why purpose and wellbeing are interlinked, and many other ideas on connections.
I love the section on questions to ask yourself and Fiona provides examples of how to have balance in our life.
Work It Out is a first-hand experience of Fiona’s most challenging times and how she kept moving forward until she reached her goals and much more. When you see all the publications she’s been published in you will go WOW!
Work It Out is a book for adults who have experienced challenges and have a desire to find balance in their life and how to make better connections. Who doesn’t need a book that provides support you know and later, it’s a bookshelf treasure for sure.
I highly recommend Work It Out, I learned a great deal from reading the book.
Trigger Publishing
TriggerHub.org is the first mental health organization of its kind. We are bringing mental health recovery and balance to millions of people worldwide through the power of our books.
We have built a first-class resource of curated books produced and published in-house to create a unique collection of mental health recovery titles unrivaled in quality and selection. We work with experts, psychologists, doctors, and coaches to produce our books, but we also work with real people looking to share their stories to reach out to others and provide hope, understanding, and compassion. These brave authors also aim to raise awareness of mental health’s “human” face and its impact on everyday lives.
Whether you put on your cap and gown last week — or last century — these honest answers can give you some insight and guidance.
“If you don’t know what you want to do with the rest of your life, you’re not a failure. Give yourself time and get yourself experience to figure things out.” — Angela Duckworth (TED Talk: Grit — the power of passion and persistence)
“Although I think I already knew this back when I graduated from college, I didn’t do it enough: trust your instincts. Deep inside you, you already know what you need to do to pursue your goals. And just as importantly, do not seek permission to pursue your goals. Pursue them. Only by doing so can you show the world what you had in mind and get the support of others.” — Alejandro Sánchez Alvarado (TED Talk: To solve old problems, study new species)
“Don’t take yourself, your decisions, your outcomes or even your mistakes so damn seriously. There’s nowhere special to get to and no special accomplishment to check off the list. The moment is now; the place is here; the person is you. Make choices that make you feel alive. But here’s my advice about my advice — I couldn’t have possibly done this myself when I was a new college graduate because I was Wrapped. Way. Too. Tightly. This would have sounded like loosey-goosey hokum to me, and I’d have rolled my eyes and gone back to alphabetizing my soup shelf. Truly, what I wish I’d done differently during the past 20 years is enjoyed the ride and engaged in less hand-wringing over my decisions. I wish I’d trusted myself more, trusted the universe more, trusted the love and support of family and friends more, and realized this: ‘I’m enough, and it’s all going to be great.’ Because it has been marvelous.” — Casey Brown (TED Talk: Know your worth, and then ask for it)
“It’s okay to quit your first job — even if it was really hard to get it, it paid well, and everyone seemed to admire you for getting it. If you hate your job, you’ll be wasting your life acquiring skills, contacts and a reputation that you don’t want to use. The sooner you find something you love, the better.” — Tim Harford (TED Talk: How frustration can make us more creative)
“The world can only thrive when people know what they’re talking about. Find the thingthat makes you want to know what you’re talking about. Then talk about it.” — Ruth Chang (TED Talk: How to make hard choices)
“The advice that I wish I’d gotten when I graduated from college is: Pay attention to the difference between the quick hits of excitement that come from that first kiss of a new relationship or job and those feelings you get when you think about your strong connections with family or friends. Don’t get fooled by shiny things — that shine fades over time, while the gold of strong relationships never tarnishes. Remember the differences between these feelings to help you make decisions as you go forward.” — Judson Brewer (TED Talk: A simple way to break a bad habit)
“1) Your high heels are not too high, even if you are a scientist. Someday, your unusual shoe choice will be just the right height to carry you into prestigious research labs and important business meetings, and help you peer into a wasp nest and discover a microorganism that will change the beer-brewing world. Your heels are just right for your journey. 2) There can be great beauty and great utility in what at first evokes feelings of fear and disgust, so dare to explore. 3) Remember to stop and sniff the microbes. This will probably help you gain perspective, but it will definitely help you discover future microbial technologies.” — Anne Madden (TED Talk: Meet the microscopic life in your home and on your face)
“Regarding relationships of all categories (platonic, romantic, professional, etc.): Don’t let someone take up your emotional real estate if they aren’t paying rent.” — Sarah Kay (TED Talk: If I should have a daughter … )
“Never stop learning. When we graduate college and start our careers, we often understand that we have a lot to learn, so we approach our jobs with a learning orientation. We ask questions; we observe others; we know we may be wrong; and we realize we’re works in progress. But once we gain competence in our jobs, too many of us stop learning and growing. The most successful people — in work and in life — never stop deliberately continuing to learn and improve.” — Eduardo Briceño (TED Talk: How to get better at the things you care about)
“I felt a lot of urgency to ‘do good’ right out of the gate after college, working in nonprofits and government right away. I wish someone had urged me to build my skills instead, so I would have received mentoring on my professional performance and communication early on. Then, when I transitioned into the social good sector, I’d have had a good set of tools and habits to bring with me.” — Jessica Ladd (TED Talk: The reporting system that sexual assault survivors want)
“Graduation is a euphoric moment, but soon after, people often experience withdrawal symptoms. One reason is that your immediately accessible social network has been pulled out from under you, and entering ‘the real world’ means that you lose the effortless social interaction from dorm life, organized clubs and regular parties. Rather than feeling down, be intentional about maintaining and building a social world that brings out your richest self. And, when you hit your lowest points, in addition to turning to your strongest and closest relationships for support, have the courage to widen both your thinking and your networks as well.” — Tanya Menon (TED Talk: The secret to great opportunities? The person you haven’t met yet)
“Look for people’s inner worlds. Imagine their hopes and fears and what it feels like to be them. Seeing into other hearts can make you more effective in achieving personal and professional goals. It may also give you the comfort of remembering how deeply alike we all are.” — Bill Bernat (TED Talk: How to connect with depressed friends)
“I was the first to attend college in my family, so neither my parents nor my siblings could advise me on my graduate school or career plans. I heeded my inner calling and pursued two master’s degrees in information systems at same time, and it all worked out well. Remember: your best academic counselor and career advisor is your heart.” — Navi Radjou (TED Talk: Creative problem solving in the case of extreme limits)
“I know the anxiety-provoking notion that you have to specialize or you will never become successful is weighing heavily on you right now. There’s good news! It just isn’t true. You can do and be many things and still thrive professionally. Over the next ten years, you’ll meet amazing people who are doing all kinds of things, such as a programmer/comedian/author and a filmmaker/teacher/carpenter. It’s OK to be a complex, multifaceted person who doesn’t fit neatly in one box. In fact, it’s actually a lot of fun.” — Emilie Wapnick (TED Talk: Why some of us don’t have one true calling)
“Be less afraid of getting older — way, way less afraid. Our fears are way out of proportion to the reality, and we squander a ridiculous amount of our youth worrying about it.” — Ashton Applewhite (TED Talk: Let’s end ageism)
“Give yourself more time. So many college graduates immediately start wanting to make all their dreams come true at once — this can go wrong in many ways. The first is the frustration that you’re not ‘there’ yet. It’s going to take time to find (or build) your dream career. The second is burnout. If you find your career early, you can find yourself setting all sorts of unrealistic goals with arbitrary deadlines and chase them until you drop from fatigue. You can have it all — but not all at once.” — David Burkus (TED Talk: Why you should know how much your coworkers get paid)
“Whenever possible, get as uncomfortable as possible. Challenge yourself to get outside of your comfort zone regularly — spend time with people you deeply disagree with, read books about experiences you will never have, travel to places where you don’t speak the language, and take jobs in industries you’ve never worked in before. And if you feel yourself resisting, try again. Those experiences will help you build deep empathy, and we could all use more of that.” — Anjali Kumar (TED Talk: My failed mission to find God and what I found instead)
“Surround yourself with people who help you be the best versions of yourself. Avoid those who don’t. And get enough sleep.” —Lisa Feldman Barrett (TED Talk: You aren’t at the mercy of your emotions)
“When I graduated, I wish I’d known the research showing that future success doesn’t lead to happiness. I sometimes got paralyzed by the fear that happiness existed only if I found the perfect job, degree or position. In truth, the research is clear: happiness exists down almost any life path as long as you are grateful for the present, and develop meaningful relationships. Choose optimism and gratitude now and invest more in others, and happiness will be a lifelong advantage as you pursue your dreams.” — Shawn Achor (TED Talk: The happy secret to better work)
“You don’t have to pursue what you studied. I followed my heart, and now I’m happier and more satisfied with life than I could have ever envisioned. We kill ourselves looking for jobs in our fields of study, while there are a million other things we are able to do. I also wish somebody had told me money doesn’t equate to happiness. When you get a job and start working, don’t forget to live.” — Kasiva Mutua (TED Talk: How to use the drum to tell your story)
“You don’t have to do something extraordinary to lead a meaningful life; you don’t have to cure cancer, become an Instagram celebrity, or write the Great American Novel. Freud said that the meaning of life lies in love and work. So: In your relationships, lead with love. Be generous, be vulnerable, give of yourself to others, and don’t do the expedient thing just because it’s more convenient for you. Make the effort to put others first. In your career, find work that makes you proud and adopt a service mindset — remember how what you’re doing helps others, no matter how big or small the impact may be. Touching the life of just a single person is a powerful legacy to leave behind. Finally, make gratitude a part of your daily life; don’t save it for Thanksgiving. Every day, reflect on one or two things that happened to you which you’re grateful for. Not only will it make you happier, but it will also put you in touch with what really matters. Then, when you experience setbacks or hardships, it will also be a good reminder of how blessed you really are.” — Emily Esfahani Smith (TED Talk: There’s more to life than being happy)
“When you finish college and begin your first job or internship, you’ll be keen to learn all you can and impress your employer so you can start on the path to promotions and raises. But the important thing that you might not see amidst all this excitement is the great idea that could someday become a great business or entrepreneurial venture. I’ve found the most interesting employment that life offers is often something of your own creation that you do full time or in addition to your main job. So, after you graduate from college, take the time to identify a venture that you’d like to do by yourself or with friends, and start building it. One day, you’ll be glad you started early.” — Washington Wachira (TED Talk: For the love of birds)
“Move toward the light — toward people, activities, ideas that make you see more, that nourish you. Do this for at least five years. At that point, you can take stock and decide if you need to do some utterly practical, careerist, traditionally ‘wise’ thing. But give yourself a chance to follow your heart and your mind first. The best careers are built by people who have had a breadth of experiences on which to draw. Don’t get anxious if for a while your life seems to be made of a lot of fragments; in time, they will seem like facets of a diamond.” — Sherry Turkle (TED Talk: Connected, but alone?)
“That adage about pursuing things you’re passionate about does eventually pay off. When? No one knows. I suppose that’s why it’s a pursuit.” — David Sengeh (TED Talk: The sore problem of prosthetic limbs)
“It’s traditional at graduation to offer neat, packaged stories of triumph over difficulties. But life isn’t like that — it’s open-ended, subject to a million contingencies and constant change. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t make plans. But it does mean you should be alert to all the changes in the world and in yourself that could render your plan suddenly obsolete, unattractive or perverse. Be open to change. Be prepared to experiment. Take risks. Keep learning. Make your life your own.” — Margaret Heffernan (TED Talk: Dare to disagree)
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Rebekah Barnett is the community speaker coordinator at TED, and knows a good flag when she sees one.
Until age 40 my life was focused on work, making more money, and having nice designer goodies. My granny had a major stroke in 2004 and by 2005 I was helping my gramps take care of her. Being in their house brought me back to what was important, having a roof over your head, food on the table, and love. I had lost touch when the promotions and money started coming in.
I would tell my younger self to define my life by setting goals, working harder than others, and most importantly don’t forget to create a life that includes what in life is most important to you. Money is great, it buys things but having more things will not make you truly happy in life.
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