Men and boys who have been sexually assaulted or abused face the same mental and physical effects as other survivors. Cultural stereotypes about men and how they portray masculinity can sometimes feel toxic to male survivors, adding additional challenges to their experience.
Recovering from sexual assault or abuse is a process that looks different for everyone, and it’s important to support a survivor, no matter their gender identity. Focusing on self-care after a sexual assault is a vital step toward recovery. Sexual assault can affect the physical and emotional health of a survivor, so it’s important to address both components of self-care. Should a victim choose to seek professional help, therapy can provide a space to openly discuss their thoughts and experiences.
One out of every 10 rape victims is male. It’s crucial to remind male survivors that they are not alone and share the services available to help them through their recovery.
Survivors can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline 800.656.HOPE (4653) or visit online.rainn.org to be connected with local sexual assault service providers in their area. RAINN also partners with 1in6, an organization dedicated to helping men who survived unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood. If something happened to you, know that you are not alone and help is available. This Men’s Health Month—and all year round—join RAINN in supporting all survivors.
P
This is a struggle for many after remarrying when children are part of the package. I’m reblogging to my site. We have catching up to do when you come up for air. M
Week 4. I’m still trying to catch up and it seems impossible. I don’t know anymore what has the priority after my family. I wish I could split in four, maybe that way something gets done.
A couple of weeks ago my ex sent me a message saying he couldn’t take care of our kids until he felt better. He gave me two options: 1) I had to take care of them. 2) He was going to look for professional help.
OK. I know what kind of an asshole he can be and when he said professional help, he didn’t mean he was going to get a shrink, he meant some kind of social services.
I really don’t need someone coming to my house and telling me how I have to raise my kids. I took that as a hidden threat but I didn’t let him know I was terrified…
(Oooh, a fragmented lost in draft post, just found, from earlier this year)
Now that was a catchier title than “Getting to know my fellow air travelers”, was it not?
Feet firmly back on the ground from vacation, I’ve been in hibernation from over-socialization. It isn’t that anyone was rude or intentionally draining either. I simply respond to excess people exposure like well-used rechargeable batteries – I wear out quickly.
Because my trip was an outgrowth from a surgical survival promise to myself, I tried to challenge my normal safety zones during this vacation. My normal flight behavior is book + headphones = polite ‘please ignore me’ signaling. I’m one of those people that everyone feels compelled to chat with for some odd reason; sometimes to extremes. But I don’t like to be rude, so the book comes in handy as a passive indicator of the fact that I’m done…
“They” say this is the time of the year to reflect on your yearly posts. Ach. Hit and/or miss. So many left in drafts because they were written late at night after work ended and there didn’t seem to be much ‘me’ in them; or maybe, too much of me in them. I look at the scrapped titles: “Adversity”; “Humanities at (roughly)450 mph”; “Need Cheese with my Whine”. Hmm. Insert eye-roll here. LOL.
So yeah. Here’s the down and dirty to save you a TL,DR experience if you’re inclined. This year was fookin’ tough. Take adoption-process special needs 7-year-old, add hellacious work experience, layer in moving, financial floundering, adult child drama, add a dose of exhausted, seasoned with a bit of grumpiness and self-doubt, range set to ‘occasionally ignite unexpectedly’ and baste in a nice sauce of “‘WTF do I do now?” Voila! 2016 in a nutshell :)
Starting in late Spring-early summer the Music Festivals around the World kick off. If you ever get a chance to attend, don’t let the crowds keep you away. Today we watch Imagine Dragons at Southwest Festival, Coldplay at legendary Glastonbury Festival and good friend James Bay at Ilse of the Wight Festival. Enjoy M
I upgraded my account now all Premium Themes are free. Great but mine doesn’t look as nice and clean. Give it to me straight, the improvements are for you. I want the site to catch your attention, easy to maneuver, find resources and of course come back. Not sure I got this one right.
Shelton at sheldonkleemanartworks.com Wrote a poem to post with the announcement of his Leibster Award. Thank you Shelton, you’ve been a good friend. M
I would like to thank Melanie for nominated me for the liebster Award
It always seems when I need it the most someone always steps I and gives
Me a hand,Melanie did just that,her blog is called lookingforthelightblog.wordpress.com she always has something good to say or a good song to listen to,so please do me…
Chronic Lyme Disease has given me time to reflect on life’s blessings. To stay motivated, I think of a bright future. Travel locations and adventures left to do.
I want to help my community and keep expanding my mind.
I’m preparing for my charity, with a focus is Pastoral work.
Helping people, animals and the environment are my core beliefs.
I will live a full life expanding my soul and supporting others.
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Watch artist hand craft a Turkish rug
Learn to double jump rope
Roller Derby
Watch baby turtles hatch and return to sea
Drive Hover Craft
Tango Lessons
Drive Monster Truck
Drive 18 Wheeler
Train and Volunteer to rescue wild animals
I had a panic attack during a dive in 1999. I have to dive again to tackle the fear
Visit the worlds Wineries, extra long stay in France
Volunteer for RAINN as Advocate Speaker for Child Abuse and Sexual Abuse
I love to hear your travel stories, life accomplishments, adventure vacations. Where is life taking you?
The word Liebster” (originating in German) has several definitions — dearest, sweetest, kindest, nicest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued. In the current context, this award recognizes bloggers who share their story or thoughts in a beautiful manner to connect with their viewers and followers.
Here are the rules:
Acknowledge the blog that nominated you and display the award.
Answer the 11 questions the blogger gives you.
Give 11 random facts about yourself.
Nominate 11 blogs.
Notify those blogs of the nomination.
Give them 11 questions to answer.
The Leibster Award arrived via telegram from good friend Danica Piche at https://danicapiche.com You have to visit her site, she writes the greatest short stories that truly satisfy. She participates in every challenge. I need a third arm to keep up. The big deal is she’s special, I’m hanging my No Award sign out and Danica is making it for me.
After meeting Danica our friendship felt telepathic. When I needed a boost she would send a smile or an award. Danica is a caring person, often checking to see how life is going. She gives out Good Karma vibes, positive energy, she’s thankful and loves music. Kick back for mini-concert of Danica’s picks.
This beauty comes from Danica’s notes.
Inspired by one of those birds hanging out in the trees of my front garden.
This is what I wrote in my journal. I asked a bird to tell me a story. It told me once this was a paddock with lots of trees, and covered in grass. Once this place was always peaceful and quiet. Once I had the freedom to come and go as I liked. Then you people came along and built homes, you took my paradise away.
Have to go 3 pieces into a loaf of bread for the softest pieces.
Old books, smell, crinkled pages, velum over Author page. Surprises like Glimpses of the Life and Times of A.V.H. Carpenter, fully Illustrated First Edition printed 1890.
Have several generations of Red Tail Hawks come everyday to relax in the bird bath. I never bore of seeing them.
To many old school headphones, the type with excellent sound.
Love the grain of wood, each piece of has a different grain. Zebra wood is one of my favorites.
Art,Art, Art, the price of the piece does not determined the value.
Observed a Black Wooly Bear Caterpillar in a container, they are fast, huge and play dead better than a possum. I’m also the Asp Wrangler.
When outside my mind stops the constant chatter, the world is mine.
I can untie knots, takes time, success rate 100%.
Questions for My Nominees:
Coffee or tea or mocha/hot chocolate? All in same day.
Why do you blog? I didn’t get the PhotoJournalist position at Life Magazine.
How would you describe your sense of humor? What day is it?
What would you do in your ideal day? Walking the back streets of ancient city….seeing the world.
Summer or winter? Both, outdoors anytime.
Beach or mountains? Ditto, always something new to see.
Could you live without your smart phone? Smart phone yes, mobile phone, no. When telephone lines are down, cell phones work.
Do you like sardines? Love them marinated in mustard or olive oil right from can on Saltines Crackers.
Do you have any pets? Always. Shaggy is an elder dog but don’t tell him.
Does the weather affect the way you see the day? Only if Sailing.
What would you change about your life now? Nothing. Each step propelled me forward to the person I am today. (Sounds good, huh?)
Nominees :) No Award blogs are for the picking being my last award and all (said with a smile and Texas twang). I’m ready to see Danica’s expression, nominees have received announcements, if not it’s coming Pony Express.
A Huge Texas Hug to everyone who follows, comments, likes, or stops by my blog. I appreciate each and every one of you! Looking for the Light Blog is now Award Free. Your smile and comments fill me with sunshine, knowledge and tons of fun.
My first blog started in 2005 and hosted by Blogger. I was caring for my dying grandmother. I had to write and let it go. Her death was devastating, as you’ve read in many post. She’s never left my side. Granny was the strongest woman I ever met, she knew how to keep her mouth shut. Something I did not inherit. I could let out steam, cry by myself, recharge for next day. Yesterday WordPress sent an Achievement notice. Time does fly, in sickness and health.
You are the reason I’ve stayed. You followed me, left good and a few bad comments, you lifted me up when I was down. Most importantly your Blog has entertained, made me cry and lifted my spirits to the sky. I am blessed to talk with each of you. Thank you for standing by me these crazy eight years. M
ACHIEVEMENT
Happy Anniversary with WordPress.com!
You registered on WordPress.com 8 years ago.
Thanks for flying with us. Keep up the good blogging.
I can’t get enough of great guitar players, the ones who make funny facies and contoured bodies while playing. The artist passion comes thru the strings. There aren’t any new videos here, my favorites are close by to share with you.
I believe Friday is a Roast for a dear friend, make sure to stop by for the party. Let me know what you think, its way out of norm. M
Heather
These beautiful words and the feels that go with, leave tears in my eyes, my heart aches. Like you, we’ve Survived to learn what’s most important.
Love ya Hugs
M
I told him I loved him His hand held in mine, as I curled up By his side Stroked back his hair, His forehead I kissed And said it was time to go to the light
His breathing, then shallow I fought not to cry, I felt Dads soul leave Right after he died
There once was a time I was not so lucky When God took my Husband away There were no good byes, no last words Behind with our children, I would stay
Numb to the bone, Not a clue where to start Love, anger and rage Ripped apart my heart
Did I arrive too late,or did he go too fast? There is no more future There’s now just a past
Its’ been so many years, 14 to this day Questions still come and go Is it fair to complain and bitch about life? I’ve learned I’m just…
Chromic Lyme caused many falls, some serious, some not. I took two good slams to my right knee in 18 months. It didn’t prepare me for needing a knee replacement. They pain level from Lyme was so high, the knee became part of the over all pain. I received the long needle steroid shot yesterday along with the news. I’m staying positive by saying better now than later yet know there are other surgeries in the future.
Recovering from surgeries caused from misadventures with Lyme and resisting a cane. I am only 53 and feel much younger than my body. Now he says it’s essential to get a walker to help me with balance. I went from sick to no memory to old and decrypted.
I had to get jacked up, feel younger than my body. Music takes me anywhere, doing anything, just close my eyes.
I’ve talked with new followers, touched base with loyal followers and found several great blogs to follow. Wow!!!! I’m refreshed. If you don’t like the picks this week, you know what to do, the request line is open 24/7, leave your suggestion. Let’s get some new music taste to wake me up. Have a great weekend. Be Safe. M
The post is from the archives, written in 19XX, and cleaned a bit. I’m depressed today partly due to exhaustion from Restless Leg which returned three weeks ago, which doesn’t help my mood. Chronic Lyme Disease took my memory, stress, pain, and on and on. My brain gave parts of it back with holes, today it’s gone again. I’m rambling….the reason? I’m lost again and used the WordPress Copy a Post Function for the first time. I can’t tell you the year it was written or if the WordPress Copy Function and my brain are on the same page.
I love to travel, and my goal is to see the world. Bipolar Disorder can dictate your life. The high side is dangerous for me. Life is great, who needs sleep? Not recognizing my Hypo-Mania can make it possible. The titter totter of Bipolar is balance. One side can suffocate you in hell, the other side is suffocating without you knowing there is always a fall.
I was an Executive Sales person, number one in the company, and making big bucks, I felt so lucky that Hypo-Mania stayed for 10 years. Looking back at the scars remember the higher you go the harder you fall. I lived in hell, thought I can cover this up, when I fell it was like dominoes tipping the next.
I went to Russia by myself, traveled with my friends to France and the Caribbean, a girl trip several times a year. My doctor told me the higher you go the harder you fall. I didn’t want to give up the person I was.
The fall began slowly. I got fired from my job, blew though my savings, we’re talking half million and filled for bankruptcy. Did I mention a divorce and building a new house. I lost everything.
What I lost was not worth the high. All the negative thoughts came back. My life is not as exciting, anxiety kept me in the house. Most days didn’t get of bed, used every excuse to cover my absents.
I’ve been suicidal many times, leading me to Psychiatric Hospital to save myself. Having 20 ECT treatments in the past 10 years is not an achievement. A Vagus Nerve Stimulator was implanted in my chest. I thought the newly approved FDA device was my chance, to leave my world behind. Well no.
The thing about research is moving forward. The brain doesn’t have a road map, navigation center, or instruction manual. Medicine and technology will take us closer to managing our lives.
My husband understands most of what he’s seen. The brain is a fascinating question mark?
Nowmore than ever before, the West is seeing the rise of Indians and people of Indian heritage in Hollywood, and it’s glorious.
Priyanka Chopra. Photo: Instagram
Lately, the likes of Priyanka Chopra, Deepika Padukone, Dev Patel, Lilly Singh, Mindy Kaling and Aziz Ansari have been taking the entertainment industry by storm. Back in 2012, Mindy Kaling paved the way for Indians on television, being the first Indian-American to create, produce and star in a television sitcom in ‘The Mindy Project.’ In 2016 Lilly Singh was ranked one the highest paid YouTube Stars by Forbes, and now has over 11 million subscribers #unicornisland.
This year Priyanka Chopra won her second consecutive People’s Choice Award for ‘Quantico’, Deepika Padukone is making her Hollywood debut in the movie ‘XXX: Return of Xander Cage’ also starring Vin Diesel, and Dev Patel’s movie ‘Lion’ has earned six Oscar nominations.
Having said this, seeing Indians on screen in the West hasn’t always been…
One of the difficult daily conundrums for women is the pressure to be sexy, but not too sexy. We are encouraged to wear high heels, but not too high, to wear low cut tops, but not too low cut. Honestly it’s a minefield of social faux pas trying to balance the two camps, and it often results in the stifling of our sexuality for fear of being too sexually open.
But women should be able to talk about sex. More than just that, women should be able to talk about pleasure, sexual desires and dislikes, the sensuality of their bodies – everything. I believe women should stand their ground and own their sexuality, recognising that their pleasure is just as important as their partners and their bodies really are a wonderland. Women should not have to feel ashamed of being sexy.
At last Psychiatrist appointment he questioned why the port had not been removed. He is also a Medical Doctor and proceeded to tell me all the flesh-eating, horrible infections a port can cause. I said not going to D.C. in several month for surgery. We received a referral from General Doctor, had surgery the same week.
Oh what a relief it is! Port implanted 2015, removed 2017. Now I can take a shower, life can take a step forward. Next eyeglasses and driving the car. I still have large holes in memory, one reason for putting off driving.
Self-care is about taking steps to feel healthy and comfortable. Whether it happened recently or years ago, self-care can help you cope with the short and long-term effects of a trauma like sexual assault.
Physical self-care
After a trauma, it’s important to keep your body healthy and strong. You may be healing from injuries or feeling emotionally drained. Good physical health can support you through this time. Think about a time when you felt physically healthy, and consider asking yourself the following questions:
How were you sleeping? Did you have a sleep ritual or nap pattern that made you feel more rested?
What types of food were you eating? What meals made you feel healthy and strong?
What types of exercise did you enjoy? Were there any particular activities that made you feel more energized?
Did you perform certain routines? Were there activities you did to start the day off right or wind down at the end of the day?
Emotional self-care
Emotional self-care means different things to different people. The key to emotional self-care is being in tune with yourself. Think about a time when you felt balanced and grounded, and consider asking yourself the following questions:
What fun or leisure activities did you enjoy? Were there events or outings that you looked forward to?
Did you write down your thoughts in a journal or personal notebook?
Were meditation or relaxation activities a part of your regular schedule?
What inspirational words were you reading? Did you have a particular author or favorite website, like RAINN’s Pinterest board, to go to for inspiration?
Who did you spend time with? Was there someone, or a group of people, that you felt safe and supported around?
Where did you spend your time? Was there a special place, maybe outdoors or at a friend’s house, where you felt comfortable and grounded?
Self-care isn’t always easy to take on by yourself. To speak with someone who is trained to help, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.HOPE (4673) or chat online at online.rainn.org.
Timeline of key events in Michigan State football Sexual Assault investigation
Michigan State football players Donnie Corley, Josh King and Demetric Vance have been charged in connection to a sexual assault investigation and a staff member. In the same investigation. Auston Robertson has also been charged with criminal sexual conduct in a separate case.
Casey was involved in a horrifying car accident which left him paralyzed from the waist down. His positive, no holes barred attitude will have you trying to keep up. Stop by, say hello, he’s cool, relaxed and comfortable answering your questions.
It was dark week around the world. Give some extra smiles on Social Media in the coming week. One young man said to me, he would not live in fear by giving power to the few. I agree.
I’m glad you stopped by, hope you enjoyed yourself…every Thursday is a great day to take time out to enjoy the tunes. Xx M
This morning the AOL Sports Section wrote more articles on Sexual Assault cases than I could count. Lots of excuses as well. One College football player said “I had oral sex with her but no intercourse”, did she consent? It’s long past time for accountability, all sports, girls and boys, men and women, all ages. By allowing owners and coaches to look the other way is deplorable.
A football player sexually assaults a woman with no jail time, a 20-year-old shares marijuana brownies with friends and spends 20 years in Texas jail. What is wrong with this picture?
Sports Team Owners, Team managers, College Administrators, High School Superintendents, Olympic Coaches and The Court System all need to serve jail time for their gross negligence.
Isn’t someone ashamed, enough excuses. I vote for harsh jail terms, no return to sports and permanently placed on Sex Offender list.
Listen carefully and long enough to get the message. I think Change.org partnered with the Video company.
I told him I loved him
Priyanka Chopra. Photo: Instagram 
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