In this fast-paced social media world, it can be difficult to find the time to look within or back in time. I hope you find these quotes and questions interesting. So glad you stopped by today!
Continue reading “Deep Thoughts”Category: Mental Health
Blogger Highlight-Agnes 22
Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their site with you. This week we highlight a new blogger, Agnes 22.
Agnes 22
Hello my name is Agnija and I write about emotions. I write exactly what I feel and that makes me happy. Each one of us are unique and that’s what is reflected in my writing. How people interact, react and feel is the essence of my blog. I’ll be so glad if you take a few minutes of your time to read my blog.
Be sure to stop by her blog!
Melinda
3 Tips For Dealing With Conflict
Conflict, while of course the foundational point of many stories we like to read, watch or even play, is not altogether that fun in real life. Unfortunately, you’re probably going to deal with conflict in some form or another during the course of your life, possibly many times over.
Of course, conflict is a spectrum and can come in many firms. It may take shape as a mild disagreement over a parking space, or perhaps having to tell your child off because they’re not staying in bed after putting them to sleep.
Sometimes, however, conflict can be more intensive than we had expected, and in order to properly go through it and contain it, it’s important to know where to begin. Some of the advice below will hopefully help you if you find yourself in a situation like this, allowing you to move forward with confidence:
Never Escalate
Conflict can get out of hand quite quickly, for instance, it’s not uncommon to see people pushing and shoving one another, and even breaking out into fights, over Black Friday sales where everyone is trying to push in and get the item they wish for. The truth is, though, that escalation can be in your control to some degree.
Avoid name-calling, or trying to ‘win’ the battle of who can say the most cutting thing. Instead, be clear, hold eye contact, and be firm in your speech. Remember that you don’t have to answer their questions, or reply to everything they say. If the person is irrational, it’s best to leave the situation. Even martial arts classes will teach their practitioners that leaving possible conflict are thousands of times better than a disagreement escalating into a fight. Note that this doesn’t mean standing up for yourself, it just means being realistic about the situation and always looking for an escape if necessary.
Understand Your Rights
Your rights are your rights, and you are permitted to exercise them. That’s what they’re there for. In some cases, you may be able to use professional help to better orchestrate a defense or seek compensation, such as with this car accident lawyer at Eric Ramos Law, PLLC.
Alternatively, reading up on the law about filming in public can help you shoot your travel video with a friend, and understand your exact rights should someone call a law enforcement official who instructs you to stop. Your rights help you understand when to press an issue, when to defend yourself, and when to comply.
Document The Issue
A dashcam, a mobile phone, or even making sure you’re in the coverage of a CCTV camera can help you better ensure that the situation is being covered and that if needed, you have the chance to refer back to this when required.
For instance, if you see someone keying your car, record them clearly instead of running out to confront them first. It will help you ensure transparency and also prove that you haven’t caused additional harm in the situation. This way, law enforcement will choose your side if they need to be involved.
With this advice, we hope you can better deal with conflict if it finds you.
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
Just Pondering
Bella Grace Field Guide by Stampington
“You don’t always need a logical reason for doing everything in your life. Do it because you want; Because it’s fun; Because it makes you happy.
unknown
Melinda
How Starting A Garden Could Change Your Life
Being lost in life is par for the course; while it can feel like you’re the only one who understands it, in truth, everybody does on some level. The COVID-19 pandemic has truly made us all question who we are, and what is important to us. This can lead people to feel lost in their lives, or frustrated with the feeling that they have no control over what goes on around them.
There are so many ways to cope with change, but one surefire way to center calm in your life is to start a garden. You don’t have to have a huge amount of space or much experience – and in this blog, we’re going to show you how.
The psychological benefits of gardening
Psychologists have studied the psychological benefits of gardening for years. Gardening is often an activity that is practiced in rehabilitation facilities, elderly care centers, and mental health recovery centers because it helps people nurture the growth of living things.
The psychological benefits of gardening include:
- Relaxation. Using your hands to dig in the earth and make small steps towards a beautiful garden can be very relaxing. Plus, the color green is said to be calming to the human brain, too!
- Community. If you garden in a communal space, you can share the activity with like-minded people and grow into a new community. The COVID-19 pandemic has made people feel very isolated, so this sense of communal wellbeing is very important in 2021 and beyond.
- Gardening is an outdoor activity that gets you moving. Fresh air and exercise have numerous health benefits in themselves, and gardening is the perfect excuse to do both!
- Gardening helps you concentrate and engage with tasks in a healthy way. If you are recovering from a big change in your life, gardening can help you focus, and ultimately engage with new tasks in a meaningful way. Gardening is made up of small, simple tasks that can aid your brain’s recovery.
Tips for starting a garden in a small space
If all this sounds good to you, but you only have a small yard or even just a balcony, you might be thinking, ‘There’s no way I can start a garden in such a tiny space.’ Well, luckily, you’re wrong about that!
Firstly, find plants that are easy to grow in pots. These could be herbs, flowers, house plants, or even small vegetables, as long as they are able to grow in a potted environment rather than in the ground. This makes them easier to maintain in a small garden.
Next, you should research through reading books or watching YouTube videos, how to maintain your plants through hydration, the right kind of soil, and the right light levels. This research will help you expand your garden gradually as you cultivate these important skills for life!
If your garden gets out of control, you can contact local lawn fertilization and weed control services to help tame the wild beast!
Final Thoughts
Having a garden can help alleviate symptoms of anxiety, depression, burnout, or lack of focus. Plus, you’ll have a beautiful little green space that you can keep nurturing for years to come.
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
Blogger Highlight- clover and ivy
Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their site with you. This week we highlight a new blogger, clover and ivy.
clover and ivy
The day-to-day ordinary parts of life come and go, and these events often pass as if they’re not consequential. Then there’s a blink, an instant we observe something ordinary that brings solace and breathes life into us, regardless of the news of the day.
These restorative ordinary parts of life are often what we find outside, in nature, and that’s what I aim to present in my blog. Trusty elements in the natural repetitive cycles we can note and depend on for comfort and reassurance. Elements we can go to when we need grounding. My tiny garden, the blue jay outside my window, water moving over worn stones in a running creek in the middle of the woods, the scattering of bright stars set in a dark sky among the top branches of the tallest trees, a fresh green leaf at the beginning of spring. These are elements that tell us, life is okay, things are as they should be.
You must stop by Clover and Ivy, it’s like taking a self-care moment for yourself.
Melinda
The Stigma of Addiction — Guest Blogger diary of a depressed graduate student
It was a hot summer in a small town on the Cape when, as I was holding my mother’s hand, I saw a homeless woman straight ahead who looked ill and was asking for money. To this day, I cannot remember much of my childhood, yet I still can picture that woman’s face. I asked […]
The Stigma of Addiction — diary of a depressed graduate student
Diffuser Blends Make Great Gifts
With Valentine’s around the corner, I wanted to share a gift idea. These recipes are easy to make and everyone will enjoy getting one.
New Buds
1 drop spearmint
2 drops lemongrass
3 drops and lavender
April Showers
3 drops lemon grass
4 drops eucalyptus
5 drops lemon
Fresh Laundry
1 drop clary sage
2 drops mint
3 drops pine
Spring Cleaning
2 drops peppermint
3 drops wild orange
3 drops lemon
Ocean Breeze
1 drop spearmint
1 drop ylang ylang
2 drops wild orange
3 drops of tangerine
Goodbye Allergies
2 drops frankincense
2 drops lemon
3 peppermint
3 drops lavender
Herb Garden
3 drops rosemary
3 drops lavender
3 drops mint
Spring Bouquet
2 drops geranium
2 drops lavender
2 drops clary sage
2 drops chamomile
There weren’t any instructions for how to dispense. My suggestion is a guess, if you’re a regular crafter you may have a better idea. Let me know.
Melinda
5 Creative Projects To Help Focus Your Mind
A creative project is a great way to focus your mind and spend some downtime. Art, gardening, craft, and DIY are all very therapeutic. You’ll feel more relaxed and gain some perspective. Creativity is the perfect way to channel stress and anxiety. Put your overactive mind to good use and make something you’ll cherish forever. There are plenty of different kinds of ideas depending on your interests. Here are five creative projects to help focus your mind.
Paint by numbers
Paint by Numbers is an example of a trendy craft gone viral during lockdown. It is incredibly therapeutic and relaxing, and not just for kids anymore. Even though you’re following instructions, it still requires a lot of patience and hard work. Paint by numbers is a good compromise if you like art but aren’t necessarily an experienced painter. You’ll be able to enjoy the results without being a natural artist. You can display your painting proudly for all your family and friends.
Winter Flowers
There are several reasons why gardening is so therapeutic. It’s a great way to get back in touch with nature and gain some perspective. Sun and fresh air also go a long way. Even when the seasons start to change, this doesn’t mean you have to be a fair-weather garden. There are plenty of winter flowers you can plant such as pansies and jasmine that grow all year round. If you want to keep it inside you could even build your own mini zen garden, or decorate the house with plants.
Customize your car
If you’re the type that likes to get your hands dirty then why not sink yourself into a project in the garage? Customize your car to your liking this fall. Automotive Stuff is an example of a site where you can find your own parts. You can even trade car parts online with other car owners. If you prefer, start small with the interior, or even work under the hood. If you’re passionate about cars you could invest in a used vehicle to revamp.
Make your own bath products
You’d be surprised how many simple products you can make at home. All you need is some essential oils and a couple of household ingredients, and you can make a variety of bath products. This is a more eco-friendly option as well, not to mention thrifty. If you want to use your creativity to make something you’re going to use, then bath products are ideal. You can even give them as gifts to your family and friends.
Upcycle your furniture
Whether you decide to flip the furniture or keep it, it’s easy to see why upcycling has become such a popular pastime. You could invest in some second-hand furniture at your local thrift store and turn it into a creative project. For example, you could find an old photo frame, print your Domonique Rodgers NC State print, and hang it on the wall. Creating Upcycling is a fun way to revamp furniture or repurpose other items. Perhaps you can find a new use for some old things around the house. It’s very therapeutic and satisfying.
This a collaborative post.
Melinda
Repost
The DEA Is Coming After Your Medication Next
I had an Orville moment while talking to my pharmacist last week. One of the medications I take is on long-term backorder, WTF? No surprise, the DEA is now going after Mental Illness patients. They failed at curbing deaths from street drugs, let’s see how they can mismanage this focus project.
My pharmacist said the DEA went to manufacturers last year and ask them to cut or curb the production of my much-needed and addictive medication. Pharmacies don’t have a product their clients need and have a legal prescription for, but the DEA which has no medical background is coming in and cherry-picking drugs, then overriding the doctors and leaving patients without medication.
I’m scrambling now for an alternative. I’ve taken this drug for at least 20 years and need it to get out of bed. The DEA has hit the stimulant group first, it’s bad enough I can’t get the drug but think about parents who can’t get the medication for their kids. There’s a huge group who take stimulant drugs for ADD/ADHD.
I don’t know if the Truepill case is where it started from, no clue. Because of their unlawful practices, many will be left high and dry. I wholeheartedly believe unethical doctors like this will need to get the harsher sentence possible for the harm they’ve done.
DEA Serves Order to Show Cause on Truepill Pharmacy for its Involvement in the Unlawful Dispensing of Prescription Stimulants
WASHINGTON — Today, DEA served an Order to Show Cause on Truepill, a retail pharmacy that is alleged to have wrongfully filled thousands of prescriptions for stimulants used in the treatment of Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Truepill was the pharmacy for telehealth companies, including Cerebral, that marketed ADHD treatments, including Adderall ® and its generic forms, directly to consumers using Internet advertisements and social media. Cerebral arranged for patients to receive prescriptions for ADHD treatments through a telehealth visit, and for Truepill to fill those prescriptions.
“DEA will relentlessly pursue companies and pharmacies that seek to profit from unlawfully dispensing powerful and addictive controlled substances at the expense of the safety and health of the American people,” said DEA Administrator Anne Milgram. “The men and women of the DEA remain committed to ensuring that every American can access essential medicines when they are lawfully prescribed and dispensed.”
According to the Order to Show Cause, between September 2020 and September 2022, Truepill filled more than 72,000 controlled substance prescriptions, 60 percent of which were for stimulants, including generic forms of Adderall®. In numerous instances, Truepill dispensed controlled substances pursuant to prescriptions that were not issued for a legitimate medical purpose in the usual course of professional practice. An investigation into Truepill’s operations revealed that the pharmacy filled prescriptions that were: unlawful by exceeding the 90-day supply limits; and/or written by prescribers who did not possess the proper state licensing.
An Order to Show Cause is an administrative action to determine whether a DEA Certificate of Registration should be revoked. Until a determination is made, this action does not affect a registrant’s ability to handle or distribute a controlled substance.
If you take a medication that is addictive or has to stay in safe at the pharmacy, your drug may be next. I see them going after stimulant drugs, sleep drugs, and Xanax. I’m pulling this out of thin air, I don’t have any data from the DEA other than this article. This is my best guess. I hope I’m wrong because I take all of those types of drugs too.
Melinda
Deep Thoughts
In this fast-paced social media world, it can be difficult to find the time to look within or back in time. I hope you find these quotes and questions interesting. So glad you stopped by today!
Continue reading “Deep Thoughts”Blogger Highlight-Smirk Pretty
Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their site with you. This week we highlight a new blogger, Smirk Pretty.
Smirk Pretty
I design rich, active learning environments and facilitate conversations that draw on the collaborative capacity of people and teams. My diverse approaches are grounded in reflective practice as we come together to articulate our purpose and the values driving us. I seek to cultivate the relationship-oriented leadership skills of students and teams, engage questions about our shared future, and create opportunities to put innovative ideas to work. With a commitment to mentoring emerging leaders, my current focus is on improving educational equity and drawing voices from the margins to the center of every critical conversation.
Her blog is very unique and you will want to see her site.
Melinda
Just Pondering
Bella Grace Field Guide by Stampington
Happiness looks like?
Happiness feels like:
Happiness sounds like:
Happiness smells like:
Melinda
23 Small Things to Improve Your Wellness — Guest Blogger Olive Tree Saints
Small changes can really add up when it comes to wellness. Here are 23 small things you can do this year to improve your wellness.
23 Small Things to Improve Your Wellness — Olive Tree Saints
13 Ways To Ensure Your Children Are Happy & Healthy
When you find out you are going to become a parent it can be very daunting. You never know what to expect or what type of child you are going to have. Every child will have a unique personality and it is up to you as the parent to nurture this. There is a whole ongoing debate still to this day about whether it is down to nature vs nurture. You may be wondering how you can encourage your children to be happy and healthy. There are so many stories in the media regarding this but it can send a lot of mixed messages. The best thing you can do is follow your gut instinct as a parent, this will never steer you in the wrong direction. Take a look below to find out some helpful tips and tricks on how to ensure your children are happy and healthy.
Focus On Diet
One of the most important things you will hear professionals talking about is children’s diets. A healthy balanced diet is paramount for your child’s development. Letting them constantly eat junk food and fizzy drinks is not only bad for their physical health but their mental health as well. If you have a busy lifestyle and it is easier to grab and go then how about pre-making some healthy homemade meals that you can simply take out of the freezer in the evenings? Children should also be enjoying five pieces of fruit or veg a day. This will give them the added vitamins and minerals their body needs to function and thrive.
Get Them Outside
Physical activity is also important for your children. Without running around they will turn into couch potatoes. These days with so much tech floating around it can almost seem impossible to get the children to leave the house. If you find something they are interested in doing, such as going to the park then they will be more than happy to go for a run-around. Better yet, you could get some of their school or nursery friends together and they can all have fun at the park while you chat with the other moms.
Supplements
If you feel your children don’t have a healthy diet and they are in need of some extra help then you can get them a child supplement or multivitamin to take daily. These will contain the necessary amounts of vitamins and nutrients that your children are potentially missing out on. A lot of children aren’t keen on eating vegetables or fruits so a multivitamin will provide them with the goodness they are missing. The good thing about children’s multivitamins is that they come in gummy bear form with a variety of flavors. Can’t get them to eat veg but you can get them to eat a gummy bear!
Hydration
It can be incredibly difficult to get your child to drink water. They get to a certain age and decide they no longer like it. However, seeing as more than 60% of their little bodies are made up of water, it is essential they are replacing what is lost through the day. You don’t want your child experiencing signs and symptoms of dehydration. They will present with lethargy, moodiness, and a headache. Encourage your children to drink water by investing in some cool water bottles, they will want to show these off at school. Quite a lot of schools have a water-only policy in place meaning you can’t supply them with juice for school. Children should be aiming to drink around six glasses of water a day to stay hydrated and healthy.
Protect From Bad Habits
When you have children you want to protect them their whole life. However, quite a lot of parents forget that smoking and drinking around their children is a terrible habit. It is one that they will pick up on rather quickly and you don’t want them to copy you. If you do want to smoke then this should be done outside of the house, in the garden perhaps. That way you are not exposing your children to secondhand smoke which can lead to childhood illnesses and complications with their immune systems.
Talk To Your Children
Something else to think about is how important it is to talk to your children. When they are babies they learn how to communicate by copying the adults around them. Don’t stop talking to your children just because they can hold their own conversations with others. If your children come to you with any sort of problem or they simply just want to tell you about their day then ensure you are listening. Children can tell when they have your full attention by your body language and what you are saying to them. Talking and listening to your children ensures they know they are able to approach you at all times in case of a problem they cannot solve.
Seek Professional Help
As children get older they are far more susceptible to feeling the effects of their hormones. They are also more at risk of mental health conditions than younger children. If you notice your children feeling down or being sad a lot of the time then speak to them and see if they will tell you what the problem is. If they don’t and you want to get your children the help they deserve then you could seek out a counselor or look up Second Nature Utah reviews for more therapeutic programs. If your child has additional needs then this puts them at a greater risk of developing mental health conditions. Bipolar disorder in children is becoming increasingly common.
Get Enough Sleep
Sleep is so important for children, depending on the age they need around eight to thirteen hours of sleep each night. If they are not getting this then they can be grouchy and irritable for the rest of the day. If your child is still young enough for naps then make sure you are encouraging this. It will give them a little recharge so they can get through the rest of the day without any hiccups. If your children are struggling to get to sleep then think of ways you can help with this. You may decide to do some light meditation with them to help them drift off to sleep naturally.
Check-Ups
Children will rarely be called for check-ups as doctors just assume that you will take them in if there are any problems. Babies and young children will be called for developmental checks, you should go to these as they will highlight any potential developmental delays your child might have. You should also register your child at a dentist and the opticians, you never know when you may need to attend an appointment there. You can check out the best ones in your area by doing a quick internet search or asking other moms for recommendations.
Read With Your Child
Reading is something that a lot of adults enjoy doing but you can guarantee they didn’t all enjoy it as a child. Learning to read can be tricky but in the end, it will be so rewarding. Watching your child grow and develop is one of the best things about being a parent. You can encourage their love of books by reading with them from a young age. It can be common to read a book with your child at bedtime as part of their nightly routines. Reading will give your child a steady foundation for continuing this learning when they start school.
Take Away The Tech
Children need a break from technology every so often, it is bad for their brain and their vision to be staring at a pad or tablet all day. If your child is tech dependent then it may be necessary to put a temporary ban on technology to prove to them they can live without it. It will be a struggle the first couple of days but it will be worth it and a great lesson to teach. You can put strict timings in place for screen time. If your children struggle with time then you can even set an egg timer as a visual so they know how long they have left.
Support With School
There is nothing better that you can do as a parent than support your children with their school work. If they come home and need a helping hand with some homework or a school project then it should be all hands on deck. Your children have come to you for help as they deem you capable and knowledgeable. Don’t let them down by being too busy to help when they need it most. If you don’t understand what to do then you can always do a quick internet search to see if someone else explains it better than the sheet of paper.
We hope you enjoyed reading this article and that it gave you some helpful advice on ensuring your children are happy and healthy. Remember, children are just small humans. They all have feelings and it is okay to not be okay sometimes. You need to teach your children the importance of this, if they are having an off day then this is alright.
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
Book Review I Can’t Have That I Have Allergies by Katie Kinsella
I want to give a special thanks to Managing Editor Soraya Nair for sending me I Can’t Have That I Have Allergies by Katie Kinsella for review.
Blurb
All the animals in the woodland are headed to a party – that is, except Hedgehog, who can’t attend because of his food allergies. But one of his kind friends, Deer, decides to learn more about his condition, and she comes up with a plan so that Hedgehog can safely celebrate, too!
I Can’t Have That, I Have Allergies is a sensitively written story by a mother whose daughter has life-threatening allergies. It will enlighten those unfamiliar with the severity of such allergies, and it will help children who suffer from them to know that they aren’t alone.
My Thoughts
Have you missed school on a special day? You were probably sad that you could not participate in the fun. The Hedgehog has a similar story, he has severe allergies which limit what he can eat. It’s not fun going to a birthday party and not being able to eat cake.
As each of the Hedgehog’s friends stop in on the way to a birthday party, he explains why he can’t go to the party. His friends go on their way but they have a big surprise for him. They cared so much for their friend, they contacted his mother to get a list of what he can’t eat and they made a cake he could. They show up at Hedgehog’s house and have a big Birthday party which allows the Hedgehog to have fun and not worry about what he can or can’t eat.
The book does an excellent job of describing Allergies children can understand. I think the bigger picture is when Hedgehog share’s with his friends why he can’t go, they didn’t abandon him, they embraced him instead. It’s important for kids to know they can talk about their problems instead of keeping everything in.
For every parent who has a child with Allergies of any kind, this is the perfect book to show if you share what is going on with your friends they will have your back.
Trigger Publishing
TriggerHub.org is the first mental health organization of its kind. We are bringing mental health recovery and balance to millions of people worldwide through the power of our books.
We have built a first-class resource of curated books produced and published in-house to create a unique collection of mental health recovery titles unrivaled in quality and selection. We work with experts, psychologists, doctors, and coaches to produce our books, but we also work with real people looking to share their stories to reach out to others and provide hope, understanding, and compassion. These brave authors also aim to raise awareness of mental health’s “human” face and its impact on everyday lives.
Melinda
Book Review The A-Z Self-Care Guide For Kids By Dr. Alexandra Barnett
I want to thank Trigger Publishing Editor Andrea Marchiano for sharing The A-Z Self-Care For Kids by Dr. Alexandra Barnett. One thing I’ve learned from reviewing children’s books is what a great resource they are for parents and children alike. It’s a great way to teach, and sharing stories will help your children relate.
TriggerHub.org is the first mental health organization of its kind. We are bringing mental health recovery and balance to millions of people worldwide through the power of our books.
We have built a first-class resource of curated books produced and published in-house to create a unique collection of mental health recovery titles unrivaled in quality and selection. We work with experts, psychologists, doctors, and coaches to produce our books, but we also work with real people looking to share their stories to reach out to others and provide hope, understanding, and compassion. These brave authors also aim to raise awareness of mental health’s “human” face and its impact on everyday lives.
Melinda
Deep Thoughts
In this fast-paced social media world, it can be difficult to find the time to look within or back in time. I hope you find these quotes and questions interesting. So glad you stopped by today!
How do you wish to be remembered?
Melinda
Blogger Highlight-That Scared Little Girl
Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their site with you. This week we highlight a new blogger, That Scared Little Girl.
That Scared Little Girl
…where stories find healing
This site is the heart cry of a girl who longs to be seen and heard. In the spirit of finding healing and wholeness, she aches for her stories to be heard. Oh how she wishes someone had seen her as a girl.
This is the site where her stories will be told. A safe place. A tell-all of sorts. Things you don’t read in your informational or self-help books. The stories that make you uncomfortable.
The things she wishes people had known.
Check her out!
Melinda
My 2022 Book Reviews
Yes, You Can Talk About Mental Health At Work
365 Quotes to Accelerate Your Career and Find Balance in Life
Degloved: Every Scar Tells A Story
I hope you enjoyed each book as much as I did.
Melinda
How to Navigate a Marriage Breakup With Kids
If your marriage has broken down and you have children together, it can be a complex situation to navigate; still, it is not impossible, and there are some skillful ways to make the process easier and more pleasant for everyone. Read on to find out how to avoid arguing with your ex-partner, how to hire a quality divorce lawyer, and how to manage your emotions on the way.
Key Takeaways: Marriage Breakup
- Learn to avoid talking about the past and triggering past trauma that you both have
- Understand when to argue your case and stand your ground and when to walk away
- Work closely with your children to help them manage their emotions and move on
- Learning how to understand your ex-partner can help to resolve any difficult emotions
- It’s helpful to maintain a healthy emotional and physical distance from your partner
Don’t talk about the past
You and your ex-partner have a lot of history; chances are you have spent many years together before the divorce, and you know your personalities, reactions, and thought processes pretty well. But when it comes to divorce, it’s a good idea to let go of the past and treat the new arrangements independently. Learn to respect your ex-partner’s decisions and life choices.
Because you understand a lot about your ex-partner, you can predict their behavior, lifestyle choices, and decision-making, especially when it comes to the children. At the same time, they will understand your patterns and weak points. There is a tendency to bring up the past and use it as leverage, but it is not a healthy dynamic. Avoid these issues with quality divorce lawyers.
Know when to argue
Arguments are unavoidable, even after divorce. When you have children involved in a family breakup, there is a lot to organize on a daily basis, even when you are not on the best of terms. Of course, this can lead to arguments and fallout that only serve to make the situation harder.
Some battles are worth fighting, while others are worth avoiding; over time, you will learn to recognize the difference between them and when to stand your ground. If you find yourself reacting or overreacting, don’t beat yourself up; instead, forgive yourself and learn for next time.
Learn to stand your ground
It’s important to stand your ground on some issues. If you have made an arrangement with your ex-partner about looking after the kids or attending an event and they let you down, you don’t want it to happen again. In this case, you are within your rights to stand your ground and insist that you resolve a pattern of behavior that could become an issue in your future life situation.
If the issue is a one-off and unlikely to happen repeatedly, there’s no point in starting a fight or falling out over it; you can simply let it go. There are good and bad ways to stand your ground; what you don’t want to do is to become reactive and defensive; instead, imagine you have a strong back and a soft front – a bit like a turtle -, and you can stand your ground successfully.
Talk with your children
The innocent party in any divorce is the children, who have their own lives and emotions to manage and navigate; the difficulty is that children don’t have the same experience and resources to manage emotions that adults do. Make sure your children have lots of support.
Talk to your children about the situation and make sure they know that it has nothing to do with them and they are still loved by both parents. Give them plenty of opportunities to ask questions and consider offering them some outside support so that they can talk openly to a third party.
Avoid the legal entanglements
When it comes to a family breakup with children, legal entanglements are highly likely, chances are there will be a custody battle of some kind involved, and you will all have to go to court.
Instead of hiring an expensive lawyer and going to court, which will cost money and time, you could talk to your partner amicably and come to some arrangement that will keep everyone happy. Chances are there will be some debates and fallouts, but remember, the welfare of the children is the most important aspect of any child custody arrangement in or out of a courtroom.
Practice forgiving your ex
You and your partner have decided to divorce, and even if there is a clear-cut reason for this, it’s never totally one party’s fault. Chances are there are failures and grievances on both sides, so there is plenty of room for understanding and forgiveness. Forgiving someone is often possible.
Forgiving someone is the step you need to make to move on with your life and resolve a lot of the bitterness and suffering that has accumulated over the years. Remember, forgiving someone that has hurt you is a way to bring more peace, joy, and love into your new lifestyle.
Try to understand your ex
Forgiving your ex-partner might seem difficult, but it is much easier when you know how to understand them and other people in general. We spend so much of our lives inhabiting our personal world that it can be hard to see things from someone else’s point of view; this is why clashes and disagreements happen on such a regular basis between family and friends.
Attending court can be difficult and stressful for everyone, and it can be expensive for parents; if possible, find a way to avoid these legal entanglements and come to an arrangement outside.
Understanding is the pathway to compassion and a more harmonious way of life; it’s the best way to overcome the hardships of a relationship breakup and move on with your life, allowing your ex-partner to move on with theirs. When it’s an ex-partner, there is an even better opportunity to understand their point of view because you know them and their needs.
Try not to get defensive
If your ex-partner is talking to you or pushes your buttons, your natural reaction might be defensiveness leading to an argument of a fallout. When you feel like you are becoming defensive, it’s time to recognize that and step back. A feeling of defensiveness will lead to a better understanding of yourself and your triggers, which can be useful for self-improvement.
Maintain a healthy distance
If you have some children to think about, it can be tempting to live close to your ex-partner for logistics and convenience, but this is a double-edged sword because it makes it more difficult for you both to move on with your lives. If you have responsibilities and arrangements, find a way to maintain a healthy distance from your ex-partner by living in a nearby town and traveling more.
Learn to manage jealousy
Jealousy is inevitable following a family breakup; there might be some jealousy around who the children gravitate towards, and there could also be jealousy around how your ex-partner is moving on with their life. Either way, jealousy is simply an emotion that can be managed and transformed into something more positive using skillful attention and attitudes of mindfulness.
Focus on Financial Planning
When you are navigating a marriage breakup, you know that your financial situation is about to change. While certainly, a divorce can put a strain on your personal finances, it is important to act with a clear mind and set clear financial goals that will protect the entire family during rainy days.
For example, you may start an emergency or college fund, and use reliable PHP Agency reviews to understand whether a life insurance policy is something you should consider. If you are unsure, working with a financial advisor can help you make the best decisions for your situation.
Final Thoughts
A family breakup is never easy, but there are good and bad ways of working with the processes to ensure the situation is resolved in a helpful and progressive way. Using the advice in the article, you can ensure that your family remains amicable and happy in the short and long term.
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
It’s 2023, Now What?
I start out the New Year with high expectations tempered with grace. My Chronic Illnesses may slow me down some days but I won’t let them break me. This is where grace comes in, if I’m not able to work towards my goals today, I have tomorrow. It’s important to give others grace too.
Many of you know already that I don’t believe in Resolutions, they are dreams and dreams don’t come true. Instead of Resolutions make goals along with a plan on what you need to get them completed. Resolutions are like believing in the Easter Bunny.
If you want to move your life forward, you need goals and beyond goals is the meat of how are you going to get things done. I work to keep the number of goals to 10-15. This is a workable number to throw yourself into to make your life better.
I’m so glad you stopped by today and look forward to seeing you throughout 2023.
Here’s to tomorrow!
Melinda
Blogger Highlight-Psychologistmimi
Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their site with you. This week we highlight a new blogger, Psychologistmimi.
psychologistmimi
FOOD, ROAD TRIPS & NOTES FROM THE NON-PROFIT UNDERGROUND
I am a New Yorker, who has lived throughout the United States and abroad, but my New Yorker wit (AKA snark; bite) and sensibilities always stay with me.
I appreciate the blogging world’s community circle and strive to answer every comment and like; as well as visiting the blog of every follower.
All the world is my television and life is a highway and I like to provide commentary on it. Cheers
I love this blog, stop by and say hello.
Melinda
Christmas Tune For You
Join me in celebrating the fun side of Christmas.
Melinda
Christmas Tune For You-Let’s Dance
Join me in celebrating the fun side of Christmas.
Melinda
Christmas Tune For You
Join me in celebrating the fun side of Christmas.
Melinda
Christmas Tune For You
Join me in celebrating the fun side of Christmas.
Melinda
Christmas Tune For You
Join me in celebrating the fun side of Christmas.
Melinda
Christmas Tune For You
Join me in celebrating the fun side of Christmas.
Melinda
Let’s Talk About Suicide
When I heard the sad news that Stephen Laurel Boss “tWitch” died by suicide it didn’t seem real. The guy with the biggest smile, always helping others, a loving father of two children, and a large network of friends. Stephen had several projects lined up for 2023. He is not the picture of what you think a suicidal person looks like.
That’s the point.
If you want to see what suicide looks like, look at the person next to you. There is no way to know what a person is going thru. We all have mental health needs throughout our life, if we don’t have crises large and small we aren’t living.
There is a line between needing temporary mental help support ( Situational Depression) and having a Mental Illness. An example of Situational Depression could be losing you’re job, a bad break-up and let’s not forget those who’ve lost a love one.
A Mental Illness is an imbalance of the brain, and we still have so much to learn about the brain. I have found Mental Illness make sure you have a good support system with friends, family, Psychiatrist, and Therapist. I believe the right Psychiatrist and Therapist can change your life, I’ve been with my Psychiatrist and Therapist for 30 years, and they are lifesavers. Good medication management is essential, being non-compliant with your medication, can throw you unbalanced.
If you run into me, You would see I am happy to see you, I would chat it up at dinner, life is only going up. Finances are good, and thinking about my husband’s retirement. All good.
When our paths cross again, you will see the same happy person. Only this time I’m having a crisis but you can’t see it.
If I were dealing with a severe dark depression, my mind would be ruminating on all the issues repeatedly amplifying the anxiety. The more you think about something you convince yourself that the problems can’t be solved, and there’s no light in the tunnel, the worse your crisis will become. This is when I tell my husband it’s time to call my doctor or meet him at Psychiatric Hospital.
I could see you a third time, be that face you saw at lunch, everything looks fine, not giving you any indication of a problem, and then kill myself an hour later. You never know and you’re not guilty.
Show kindness to others, and remember no matter what the package looks like doesn’t mean that is what’s inside. If someone looks off their game, have a chat about what’s going on and what you’ve noticed. Try to keep it casual, maybe open up with something generic. Then gently say what you’ve noticed changes in their personality and how can you help. Say how can I help, not what can I do to help. If they put you off, keep an eye on them and keep trying to help. If think they are a danger to themselves, harm to others, or suicidal. Be more aggressive and get them to the hospital if nothing else.
I will be brutally honest, if someone is determined to commit suicide, they will. Hopefully, with encouragement, from friends or family members you can get help before they hit “there’s nowhere to go”.
Melinda
Looking for the Light 
