Moving Forward

The Disability Award — Guest Blogger Fightmsdaily

I was at a complete loss for words when I learned that Melinda at https://lookingforthelight.blog/, choose to nominated me for this award because there are so many others with amazing stories of their own. I never in a million years would have thought that I would have such an honor to be nominated for The […]

The Disability Award — Fightmsdaily
Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Moving Forward

Today I am

 

 

in pain

in pain

frustrated

distracted

self-conscious

feeling fat

wanting to sleep

wanting a different me

feeling lazy

wanting sunshine

wanting a new day

Moving Forward

Gentle Reminder: You’re Not Who You Think You Are

Guest Blogger Julie de Rohan

Julie de Rohan, eatonomy®'s avatarJulie de Rohan

Do you ever feel like a walking contradiction?

Does it feel as though you hold conflicting beliefs about yourself simultaneously?

It’s not unusual to have paradoxes within us.  The tension they create is often what brings us to counselling.

Clients frequently share with me what they think about themselves – “I’m greedy”, “I’m lazy”, “no one likes me”, “I’m not good enough”, “I’m a failure”.

Sometimes when they’re in the middle of describing themselves negatively, they do something quite astonishing.

They stop, look at me and say:

“But I know I’m a good person”.

It’s happened so often I can’t count.

They never say I think I’m a good person.  They always say I know I’m a good person.  It’s usually said with such beautiful clarity.  It’s as though they’ve checked in with themselves at a deeper level and found the truth.  They may be baffled by it, they may…

View original post 124 more words

Moving Forward

We Are The World Blogfest #WATWB #23

We Are the World Blogfest

We Are The World  Blogfest: Spreading Stories of Positivity and Compassion in Social Media

Please forgive the crazy layout, WordPress is still crazy!!!!! Have a great weekend. M

We Are The World Blogfest #WATWB #23

https://www.sunnyskyz.com/good-news/3290/Nepalese-Army-Removes-Two-Tons-Of-Waste-From-Mount-Everest

Nepalese Army Removes Two Tons Of Waste From Mount Everest
April 20, 2019

The Nepalese Army has removed two tons of waste from Mount Everest under its Mount Everest cleanup campaign.

Credit: Nepal Army
According to the Nepalese Army, the cleanup campaign was launched on April 14, 2019 as part of the 24th annual “Wildlife Week”, a program organized by the Sagarmatha National Park Office.
After the cleanup campaign was concluded, the army transported half of the non-biodegradable waste by helicopter to the Blue Waste To Value Company. The remaining ton of waste was taken to the army barraks in Okhaldhunga for treatment, according to a press release issued by the army.
The Nepalese army has also pledged to provide the manpower and machines necessary for the Clean Mountains Campaign which will run until May 19, 2019.

Welcome to #WATWB # 23! We are sharing stories about people doing good work and bringing hope to the world.  To learn more about this monthly blogfest, visithttps://www.damyantiwrites.com/we-are-the-world-blogfest/and the WATWB Facebook page for more positive posts.

Please post on that Friday or over the weekend, or, If you have other schedule conflicts, you could post later within the week or add a positive news link and the WATWB badge with another of your regular posts.

This Blogfest is all about spreading the love, so we are happy to exempt you for a month or two if you let us know in advance on this email.

We’ll have to remove you from the list if you don’t post for 2 months after signing up. (Sadly, some people exploit this list for page hits, with no intention of participation.) 

For participants, we take you off the list after 3 months of non-participation, and we hope you understand that. We make every attempt to contact you before taking your link off the list. If you want to join back at another time, just sign up again.

Your cohosts for this month are:  Shilpa GargInderpreet UppalPeter NenaLizbeth HartzEric Lahti.Please link to them in your WATWB posts and go say hi!

Once again, here are the guidelines for #WATWB

1. Keep your post to Below 500 words, as much as possible.

2. Link to a human news story on your blogone that shows love, humanity, and brotherhood. Paste in an excerpt and tell us why it touched you. The Link is important, because it actually makes us look through news to find the positive ones to post.

3. No story is too big or small, as long as it Goes Beyond religion and politics, into the core of humanity.

4. Place the WE ARE THE WORLD badge or banner on your Post and your Sidebar. Some of you have already done so, this is just a gentle reminder for the others.

5.Help us spread the word on social media. Feel free to tweet, share using the #WATWB hastag to help us trend!

Tweets, Facebook shares, Pins, Instagram, G+ shares using the #WATWB hashtag through the month most welcome. We’ll try and follow and share all those who post on the #WATWB hashtag, and we encourage you to do the same.

Have your followers click here to enter their link and join us! Bigger the #WATWB group each month, more the joy!

We will send you another reminder a few days prior– we look forward to reading all your positive, heartwarming WATWB posts!

Many thanks and best wishes,

#WATWB team

Moving Forward

Wisdom Wednesday – What Are You Trying to Find?

Brian Nadon's avatarDon’t Let Your Past Kill Your Future

All of us are trying to find something. Trying to find meaning, love, contentment. Because we feel like something is missing. That’s why we keep ourselves so busy, why we kill ourselves with work, why we can’t be still.

This drive is what allows us to accomplish things. So it’s not all bad. The problem is that when we do accomplish things, we often don’t feel that much better. We look back at the road we just traveled, we look down at the mountain we just scaled, and we think to ourselves: This is it? We never seem to fill the void.

This void is similar to my current path. With the tears, the pain, the emotion, the questions and the anxiety I struggle with daily – I often wonder, when it’s all over, when this tour is done, will I appreciate the value in assisting others or will I…

View original post 200 more words

Moving Forward

Peace Over Violence Denim Day

Greetings 1in6 Partners,

This Wednesday, April 24th, millions around the world will join together in observance of Denim Day, the longest-running sexual violence prevention and education campaign. We at 1in6 are reaching out to invite and encourage your military base or organization to participate. 

For the last 20 years, Peace Over Violence’s Denim Day campaign has inspired and mobilized individuals, beginning with an accessible call to action: wearing jeans with a purpose. Denim Day recalls an Italian Supreme Court case that sparked international outrage when a judge overturned a lower court’s conviction of a rapist because the victim wore jeans. The judges ruled that because the victim was wearing tight jeans, she must have helped her attacker remove them, thus implying consent. 

In its 20th year, the campaign message remains consistent: There is no excuse and never an invitation to rape. Denim Day calls on all individuals, institutions and elected officials to challenge destructive attitudes and myths that surround sexual violence.

Denim Day has garnered support from military bases across the country throughout its history, identifying the campaign as a tool that assists in bringing sexual violence education and resources to survivors in the armed forces. Events that have taken place include simply wearing jeans with a purpose, 5k runs, moments of silence, open mic nights and screenings of films like The Invisible War.

Denim Day 2019 Registered Military Bases to date:


●    Army National Guard Professional Education Center
●    1st Calvary Division
●    US Army Corps of Engineers
●    US Coast Guard Academy Corps of Cadets
●    Army Reserve Medical Command
●    US Navy – Mine Warfare Training Center
●    Louisiana National Guard
●    USS Somerset (LPD-25)
●    4th Brigade, United States Army Cadet Command
●    Keller Army Community Hospital
●    USS George Washington (CVN 73)
●    Field Artillery Squadron, 2d Cavalry Regiment

We know that sexual violence thrives in silence. Denim Day may be an opportunity for you to talk about sexual violence in the military, and show survivors that there is no excuse and never an invitation for any form of sexual harassment. By bringing this campaign to your base, you are letting other soldiers know that they are not alone, and that they can all step up and prevent this from happening any more.

To learn more about how you can participate, visit www.denimdayinfo.org.
In Partnership,


Matthew Ennis
President & CEO
1in6


Patti Giggans
Executive Director
Peace Over Violence
D
Moving Forward

Be Your Own Advocate In Bipolar Medication Management

Great informational post from Guest Blogger Dopamine Queen.

DopamineQueen's avatarThe Dopamine Queen

It seems many people with Bipolar Disorder are leaving their treatment plan completely up to their doctors. I often hear about how a med is not working for someone or how the side effects are making it not worth the benefits of taking it. When I ask these people if they’ve spoken to their doctor they often say no. Although I love to advocate for people and am happy to offer my opinions and experiences of the drugs I am aware of, I’m here to ask you to be your own advocate as well.

For me, there is nothing more empowering than knowledge. When I first accepted my diagnosis (approximately seven years after being diagnosed) I dove head first into research. I read every book, article, study and paper on Bipolar Disorder. I also read hundreds of Bipolar medication forums with thousands of comments. I wanted the first hand knowledge…

View original post 271 more words

Moving Forward

Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance

DBSA Logo

Contact Us

55 E Jackson Blvd, Suite 490
Chicago, IL 60604 P: (800) 826-3632F: (312) 642-7243

Our Mission

DBSA provides hope, help, support, and education to improve the lives of people who have mood disorders.

Crisis Information

If you or someone you know has thoughts of death or suicide, call (800) 273-TALK (800-273-8255) or 9-1-1 immediately. You can also text DBSA to 741-741. Or contact a medical professional, clergy member, loved one, friend, or hospital emergency room. Crisis


Looking for a
support group?

DBSA Support Groups for peers, friends, and family. Visit http://www.dsalliance.org to find a Support Group near you.

I’m Living Proof

Without success stories, it’s easy to think you will always feel this way and you won’t be able to have the life you had hoped for. Perhaps you remember this feeling when you were first diagnosed. Did life get better for you? Share your journey with teens experiencing mood disorders to give others hope because—you’re living proof!

Matthew, 34

I was not formally diagnosed until I was 29 years old. It was only 2 months after marrying the love of my life. I became severely manic after suffering from undiagnosed mild depression as long as I could remember. I was first hospitalized in January, but when I was released I didn’t take my medication, then sure enough, 6 months later I had another manic episode, but this time was much worse. I fell into a bad psychosis, suffering from delusions, I even felt I didn’t want to be with my wife anymore it was so bad. Luckily, things became so chaotic that my family talked me into signing myself into the hospital again to get treatment. This time I took my medication everyday, but when I was released I was still manic and was picked up by the police a week after getting out of the hospital a second time. I had not committed a crime I was just acting very unusual and some who cared enough called on me. After my medication was adjusted, my mania finally went away. I continued to take my medication everyday because the doctors pressed how important it was. It took time, months even, but my thoughts began to be normal again. What helped me the most was seeing my psychiatrist regularly and being honest with her with how I was feeling and where my head was at. That way she could adjust my medication accordingly to get me feeling as good as possible. Also, I have a strong support system through my wife and family. I overcame many things to get to where I am today, and I am lucky to be here now, the one thing that I’ve overcome that stands out is a lack of motivation that comes with bipolar sometimes. I just had to push myself through it, it’s not easy, you just have to keep making small steps. My greatest strength is my heart, I care for people a great deal and do my best to keep others happy in hard times. That’s what I tried to do during my hospital stays, help the other patients, and it worked, I am still friends with some of them today. I have learned about myself that I can accomplish anything if I put my mind to it, I believe anyone can. Wellness, to me, is setting goals for yourself to work towards, accomplishing goals is an amazing feeling, even when they are small. Also, wellness is when you can live with being bipolar and not see yourself as being bipolar. What I mean by that is, don’t define yourself by your diagnosis. You are what you do, that is what makes you the kind of person you are, you are defined by those things. Not your diagnosis. Positives in my life currently are that I have been working full time for over 2 years now. I started back at college 7 months ago, and I just got a new job as an insurance agent this week. Hard work towards your goal pays off, start small, write them down, and as you complete them, make bigger ones and give yourself a deadline. That is how I came from where I was, to where I am today, and you can too.

Moving Forward

Conversation 023 – Dealing with Toxic People

Guest Blogger Rajaini from http://rajinikanthv.wordpress.com..
Thank you, for this great blog. It’s very helpful.

Rajini's avatarSpirituality is the only way to solace

This conversation is between me(Seeker 2) and my
friend(Seeker 1) on how do we deal with toxic people – the people who bring in
negative reactions, negative emotions and negative energy through their
dealings.

Seeker 2: They say we keep learning lessons till the last
minute of our life and how true!

Seeker 1: True…Cent percent! It always puzzled me why only
good people suffer…

Seeker 2: If you think it is suffering then it is
suffering…it’s just the mindset…according to me it is evaluation of people
in circumstances for our self-improvement. It is only between I and I!

Seeker 1: What you are saying is correct in one way. Still
these days I am seeing this a lot. You do things that’s morally correct but still  hell a lot of trouble awaits you. But people
indulging in all sorts of incorrect/immoral activities are leading better lives
and suffer less!

View original post 397 more words

Moving Forward

SPRING — Guest Blogger Patricia J Grace

What was left out from the above definition is that for some this condition becomes permanent because trauma early on went unprocessed. With age some aspects are greatly relieved, while others become more challenging . The rattle of others around me shakes me to my core,. With spring’s awakening the solace of nature is needed, […]

via SPRING — Patricia J Grace

Moving Forward

Change.org New Bill to protect LGBTQ

Please visit Change.org to see the original petition to sign.

hot air balloon photo
Photo by Skitterphoto on Pexels.com

Change.org

Melinda — A new bill in Congress would be the first national nondiscrimination law for LGBTQ Americans. If it passes, those in the LGBTQ community would no longer have to worry about losing their jobs because of who they are. Mark decided to start this petition because he sees this as a fight for basic civil rights. Sign now to stand with Mark and put pressure on lawmakers to pass the Equality Act.
U.S. House of Representatives: Pass the Equality Act
Petition by Mark Lester
Dublin, CA, United States
1,810
Supporters

 

A bill was just introduced that would modify existing civil rights legislation that bans employment, housing, public accommodation, jury service, education, federal programs, and credit discrimination against LGBTQ+ people.

Even today, in most states, a gay couple can get married, post a photo on social media, and get fired from their jobs for it.

This new bill would add “gender identity” and “sexual orientation” to the classes protected by the Civil Rights Act of 1964. The 1964 act doesn’t protect discrimination against all protected classes in retail stores, emergency shelters, banks, transit, and pharmacies. This bill would update that.

If this bill were to be signed into law, it would be the first national nondiscrimination law for LGBTQ Americans. That is monumental.

More than a third of LGBTQ Americans live in the south, but there are no LGBTQ anti-discrimination laws in the south.

By enacting the Equality Act, those LGBTQ people living in the south would be protected. They wouldn’t have to worry about losing their jobs for being who they are.

If you believe in LGBTQ+ rights, sign and share this petition now.

Moving Forward

Three New WordPress.com Color Schemes — Guest The WordPress.com Blog

We’ve launched three new color schemes to customize your WordPress.com dashboard!

via Three New WordPress.com Color Schemes — The WordPress.com Blog

Moving Forward

Faith — *Guest The Feathered Sleep*

My love it is so hard to keep faith with every day there are changing shades from day to night sometimes I am comforted by fireflies and evening moth who dual beyond the porch, betrayed by flicker and swat I imagine the patterns of her wings, that magic sting of light so short their lives […]

via Faith — TheFeatheredSleep

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Moving Forward

From One Sarcastic Little Shit To Another – Happy Mother’s Day — Guest Invisibly Me

This day can be difficult and painful for many; I don’t want to be insensitive covering Mother’s Day so please feel free to avoid this post if it may be triggering. There are many who don’t have a relationship with their mothers, and those who have traumatic ones. Then there are those who have said […]

via From One Sarcastic Little Shit To Another – Happy Mother’s Day — Invisibly Me

Moving Forward · Travel

Where in the world will you find the most advanced e-government? Estonia. IDEAS​.TED.COM

IDEAS.TED.COM
Mar 15, 2018 /

This tiny republic has the most startups per person and the fastest broadband speeds, and it offers something no other country does: e-residency. Estonia is aiming to create the ideal information society. Technology thinker and entrepreneur Andrew Keen goes there to find out how it works.

The future sometimes appears in the unlikeliest of places. The tiny country on the northeastern edge of Europe known as Estonia — or “E-stonia” as former president Toomas Hendrik Ilves calls it — has the most startups per person, the zippiest broadband speeds, and the most advanced e-government in the world.

Estonia has had the ill fortune to share a border with Russia and a sea with Denmark, Sweden and Germany, regional powers that have all been rather too related to the little Baltic republic. And yet this land of just 28,000 square miles is today — with South Korea, Israel, Singapore and its Scandinavian neighbors — one of the most wired and innovative countries. The government and people of Estonia are trying to invent the ideal information society and figuring out how to live well in cyberspace.

Estonia is the first country in the world to offer “e-residency”: an electronic passport that offers any businessperson the right to use legitimate Estonian legal or accounting online services and digital technologies. With this initiative, the country is disrupting the age-old intimacy between physical territory and citizenship. The e-residency program underwrites online identity by establishing fingerprints, biometrics and a private key on a chip.

“We want to be the Switzerland of the digital world,” says the director of the e-residency program in Estonia.

The goal is to have 10 million e-resident citizens by 2025, almost eight times the number of Estonia’s population of 1.3 million, according to the program’s director, Kaspar Korjus. He wants to create what he calls a “trust economy” for businesspeople around the globe — and a well-lit antithesis to the Dark Web, the digital hell infested with drug and arms dealers, pedophiles and criminals. “We want to be the Switzerland of the digital world,” Korjus says. Estonian Chief Technology Officer Taavi Kotka is more ambitious — we are becoming “the Matrix,” he tells me without smiling.

Given its inconvenient geography, Estonia has always struggled to find physical residents. E-residency creates a platform for a new kind of citizenship, Kotkus says. Not only is Estonia running a government in the cloud, it is also trying to create a country in the cloud: a 21st-century distributed community of people united by networked services rather than by geography.

Practically everything and everyone in Estonia is connected to the Internet: As measured in 2017, 91.4 percent of its citizens are Internet users; 87.9 percent of households have computers; 86.7 percent of Estonians have access to broadband; and 88.4 percent use it regularly. In neighboring Latvia, by contrast, 76 percent of its citizens are Internet users, while in Russia, Estonia’s former colonial ruler, that number is just 71 percent.

The country is planning a national test for digital competency in five areas, including the correct use of netiquette.

The education system has played an important role in this phenomenon. By the late 1990s, a government-backed investment fund was paying for Internet access for all schools, and teaching computer programming skills to kids as young as seven. “It’s like literacy,” one software engineer told me, describing how these skills are viewed in schools. The Estonian educational system has been redesigned to make people more responsible citizens. Schools have obligatory programs in “digital competence.” The country is even planning a national test for digital competency in five areas, including the correct use of netiquette. Education is “two steps ahead of the labor market,” says Kristel Rillo, who runs e-services at the Ministry of Education; he says that kids are turning out to be “two steps ahead of middle-aged workers in learning how to become digital citizens.”

But the most intriguing step in Estonia’s digital development is taking place outside the classroom. The key to its revolution is an identity card system that puts digital identity and trust at the heart of a new social contract. The mandatory electronic ID card, used by more than 95 percent of Estonians, gives everyone a secure online identity and offers a platform for digital citizenship featuring more than 4,000 online services, including voting, paying taxes and online storage of health and police records.

This online ID system is an attempt to “redefine the nature of the country” by getting rid of bureaucracy and reinventing government as a service. So says Andres Kütt, the chief architect of the Estonian Information System Authority. Kütt, a recent MIT graduate and former Skype employee, aims to integrate everyone’s data into a single, easy-to-navigate portal. Estonia wants to smash bureaucratic silos and distribute power down to the citizens so that government comes to them rather than their having to go to the government.

“The old model is broken,” Kütt says. “We are changing the concept of citizenship. This technology creates trust. It’s transparent. All agencies can access this data, but citizens have the right to know if their data has been accessed. In the old world, citizens were dependent on government; in Estonia, we are trying to make government dependent on citizens.”

In Estonia, citizens are empowered to watch the operations of government, and although the government can look at their data, it must notify them when it does so.

The ID system is supposed to be the reverse of Orwell’s Big Brother. In Estonia, citizens are empowered to watch the operations of government, and although the government can look at their data, it must notify them when it does so. Kütt gives me an anecdote of how the system works. He’d driven to a lecture in Tallinn to demonstrate the ID system. When he looked at his data, he saw that a police officer had accessed his information 30 minutes earlier. Following up in his online records, he found that an unmarked police car had followed his car because his license plate was dirty. The police accessed his records, checked his driver’s license, and decided not to stop him. The point of this story, according to Kütt, is to stress the accountability of government in this system. Nothing can be done secretly — the transparency is designed to protect individual rights and compound the trust between citizens and their government.

The most important aspect of the ID system is the creation of trust.Everyone I spoke to in Estonia, from startup entrepreneurs to policy makers to technologists to government ministers, agreed with Kütt on this point. Estonian trust in government is, in fact, much higher than the EU average. A 2014 studyfound that 51 percent of Estonians trust their government, in contrast with the EU average of 29 percent.

There are extremely significant potential consequences of the Estonian government’s entry into the data business. One result might be a new rivalry between sovereign governments and Silicon Valley’s private superpowers. “Governments are realizing that they’re losing the digital identities of their citizens to American companies like Google, Facebook, Amazon and Apple. And they are waking up to the realization that they have a responsibility to protect the privacy of these citizens,” says Linnar Viik, another architect of the ID card and a serial tech entrepreneur dubbed by the press “Estonia’s Mr. Internet.”

Personal data is what’s made these private superpowers so wealthy and powerful. Although the ID system doesn’t stop Estonians from using Facebook or Google, the database is designed as a rival ecosystem, a secure public alternative designed to benefit citizens rather than corporations. One of today’s great challenges is to reinvent the relevance of government in the new digital world, and that’s where the longer-term significance of the ID system may lie, according to Viik. “The government’s role is to protect the privacy of its citizens,” he says. “It’s an extension of public infrastructure, the 21st-century version of the welfare state.”

To some readers, particularly those who cherish their privacy, this ID system and its radical transparency might sound dystopian. But one of the unavoidable consequences of the digital revolution is the massive explosion of personal data on the network. Like it or not, this data is only going to grow exponentially with smart homes, smart cars, smart cities and all the other smart objects driving the Internet of things. We don’t have a choice about any of this. But we do have a choice about the amount of transparency we demand of the governments or corporations that have access to our personal data.

The country’s revolution remains a work in progress, and many ordinary Estonians remain indifferent to a lot of these digital abstractions.

Does this country without borders offer a preview of our 21st-century fate?Stuff may happen there first. Will it happen everywhere else next? Perhaps. The Estonian model comes with three important caveats.

First, it’s important to remember the country’s ahistorical exceptionalism. Like other startup nations such as Israel, Estonia has reinvented itself because of its good fortune in being able to stand outside history. Just as Israel began in 1948 without any legacy institutions or traditions, so the post-1991 Estonian digital revolution occurred because a new generation of technologically literate policy makers and politicians filled the vacuum created by the retreating Soviet bureaucracy.

Second, there is the distinctively unexceptional nature of the Estonian economy. Estonia is a relatively underdeveloped place, especially in comparison with postindustrial economies like the United States or Germany. A tech megabillionaire could buy Estonia outright if he wanted. Its per-capita GDP of around $17,600 is ranked 42nd in the world (above middle-rank economies like Russia and Turkey but a third of Singapore’s $52,900), and the average monthly wage, after taxes, of its workforce of 675,000 is under 1,000 euros. Reports of Estonia as the next Silicon Valley are, to be polite, slightly exaggerated.

The third caveat is separating its appearance from its reality. All the policy makers and legislators with whom I spoke have, in the best Silicon Valley fashion, drunk the Kool-Aid and loudly proclaim the triumph of their “country in a cloud.” But the truth is less triumphant. The revolution remains a work in progress, and many ordinary Estonians remain indifferent to a lot of these digital abstractions.

Nonetheless, Estonia matters because the government is prioritizing what Ilves calls “data integrity.” This prim-sounding issue will surely come to dominate conversations about 21st-century politics. What the republic on the northwestern edge of Russia can do is offer an alternate model of a transparent, open and fair political system, one that is the antithesis of the monstrous purveyor of untruth that’s emerging on its eastern border. One that prioritizes trust and is built upon the integrity of data. One, above all, that makes all of us accountable for our online behavior.

Excerpted from the new book How to Fix the Future by Andrew Keen. Published by Atlantic Monthly Press, an imprint of Grove Atlantic. Copyright © 2018 by Andrew Keen.

Watch Andrew Keen’s talks from TEDxBerlin and TEDxDanubia:

 

Moving Forward

Sorry to bother you, but do you say “sorry” too much? What to say instead IDEAS.TED.COM

IDEAS.TED.COM

Mar 11, 2019 /

When we needlessly apologize, we end up making ourselves small and diminish what we’re trying to express, says sociologist Maja Jovanovic.

This post is part of TED’s “How to Be a Better Human” series, each of which contains a piece of helpful advice from someone in the TED community. To see all the posts, go here.

Think about all the times you use the word “sorry” in a typical day. There are the necessary “sorry”s — when you bump into someone, when you need to cancel plans with a friend. But what about the unnecessary “sorry”s? The “sorry, this may be an obvious idea” at a meeting, the “sorry to cause trouble” when rescheduling a haircut, the “sorry, there’s a spill in the dairy aisle” at the supermarket.

Canadian sociologist Maja Jovanovic believes the “sorry”s we sprinkle through our days hurt us. They make us appear smaller and more timid than we really are, and they can undercut our confidence.

Jovanovic, who teaches at McMaster University and Mohawk College in Hamilton, Ontario, became interested in this topic when she attended a conference four years ago. The four women on a panel were, she says, “experts in their chosen fields. Among them, they had published hundreds of academic articles, dozens of books. All they had to do was introduce themselves. The first woman takes a microphone and she goes, ‘I don’t know what I could possibly add to this discussion’ … The second woman takes the microphone and says, ‘Oh my gosh, I thought they sent the email to the wrong person. I’m just so humbled to be here.’” The third and fourth women did the same thing.

During the 25 panels at that week-long conference, recalls Jovanovic, “not once did I hear a man take that microphone and discount his accomplishments or minimize his experience. Yet every single time a woman took a microphone, an apologetic tone was sure to follow.” She adds, “I found it enraging; I also found it heartbreaking.”

Jovanovic found the outside world not so different: “Apologies have become our habitual way of communicating,” she says. Since then, she’s collected needless apologies from her colleagues and students. One stand-out? “My research assistant said ‘Sorry’ to the pizza delivery guy for his being late to her house,” says Jovanovic. “She said, ‘Oh my gosh, we live in a new subdevelopment. I’m so sorry. Did you have trouble finding this place?’”

We can eliminate the “sorry”s from our sentences — and still be considerate. “The next time you bump into someone,” Jovanovic says, “you could say, ‘Go ahead,’ ‘After you’ or ‘Pardon me.’” Similarly, during a meeting, Jovanovic says, “instead of saying, ‘Sorry to interrupt you,’ why not try ‘How about,’ ‘I have an idea,’ ‘I’d like to add’ or ‘Why don’t we try this?’” The idea is to be polite while not minimizing yourself.

The “sorry”s that fill our written interactions also need to be noticed — and banished. For emails, Jovanovic says, “There’s a Google Chrome plug-in called ‘just not sorry’ that will alert you to all the needless apologies.” With texts, she points out, “Every single one of us has responded to a text you got when you weren’t able to respond right away. What did you say? ‘Sorry.’” She says, “Don’t apologize — say, ‘I was working,’ ‘I was reading,’ ‘I was driving, ‘I was trying to put on Spanx.’ Whatever it is, it’s all good. You don’t have to apologize.”

And, in some of the instances when we’d typically throw in a “sorry,” we could just use the two magic words: “thank you.”

Jovanovic tells of the moment when she realized the effectiveness of gratitude. She says, “Four of us were at a restaurant for a work meeting, and we’re waiting for number five to arrive … I put my sociological cap on, and I thought, ‘What would he say? How many apologies will he give?’ I could barely stand the anticipation. He arrives at the restaurant, and you know what he says? ‘Hey, thanks for waiting.’ … The rest of us said, “Yeah, you’re welcome,” and we all just opened our menus and ordered. Life went on, and everything was fine.”

Another time when “thank you” can work better than “sorry”? When you’re with a friend and you realize you’ve been doing all the talking. Jovanovic says, “instead of saying, ‘Sorry for complaining’ or ‘Sorry for venting,’ you could just say, ‘Thank you for listening,’ ‘Thank you for being there’ or ‘Thank you for being my friend.’”

Besides removing them from our own communications, we should tell other people when they’re overdoing their “sorry”s, suggests Jovanovic.You can start with your family and friends — and if you’d like, go beyond them. She says, “I have been interrupting these apologies for three years now. I’ll do it everywhere. I’ll do it in the parking lot, I’ll do it to total strangers at the grocery store, in line somewhere. One hundred percent of the time when I interrupt another woman and I say, ‘Why did you just say ‘sorry’ for that?’ she’ll say to me, ‘I don’t know.’”

Watch her TEDxTrinityBellwoodsWomen talk here:

Moving Forward

Lynn Nanos Guest Post: Revolving Door of the Mental Health System — Kitt O’Malley

Thank you, Lynn Nanos, LICSW, author of Breakdown: A Clinician’s Experience in a Broken System of Emergency Psychiatry, for this guest post. As a mobile emergency psychiatric social worker in Massachusetts, I evaluate many patients who have learned that getting psychiatrically hospitalized is more likely when they don’t take their medication and attend psychotherapy sessions. […]

via Lynn Nanos Guest Post: Revolving Door of the Mental Health System — Kitt O’Malley

Moving Forward

Let’s celebrate boys for their strengths, not their size — *ideas.ted.com*

We need to teach the boys in our lives that bigger is not better and that their character matters more than their muscles, says rapper and poet Meta Sarmiento.

via Let’s celebrate boys for their strengths, not their size — ideas.ted.com

Moving Forward

What would you do if you could play hooky for a day? — *ideas.ted.com*

This 4-question quiz can help you identify the specific things that could make you happier right now, says writer Sam Horn. Just pick up a pen and paper.

via What would you do if you could play hooky for a day? — ideas.ted.com

Moving Forward

How did the chicken reach the great idea? She borrowed The Onion’s techniques for brainstorming — ideas.ted.com

Brainstorms can result in a lot of sound and fury — shouted ideas, whiteboards covered with scribbles — but not much else. Here’s how The Onion sets up sharing for success, from designer and ex-Onion staffer Brian Janosch.

via How did the chicken reach the great idea? She borrowed The Onion’s techniques for brainstorming — ideas.ted.com

Moving Forward

Weighted Blanks for Mental Health — The Psych Talk

A weighted blanket is a blanket filled with hypoallergenic, non-toxic polypropylene pellets. The pellets are sewn into self-contained small pockets that are evenly distributed throughout the blanket. These pellets give the blanket its weight, which should generally be around 10 percent of the user’s body weight, give or take a few pounds depending on the […]

Weighted Blanks for Mental Health — The Psych Talk
Men & Womens Health · Moving Forward

Thoughts Job Hunting: Working Temporary

I started as a Recruiter in 1982 placing employees in light industrial jobs. My clients hired, warehouse workers, packing, anything in the warehouse that didn’t require heavy lifting or above a certain OSHA rating. It was a tough job, we had people not get their time card in on time and want to kick my ass, more than once. We had clients who discriminated, I wasn’t allowed to work those accounts, thank goodness. I worked with light industrial workers until my career developed. I moved to clerical then to information technology.

The reason I mention OSHA is the more dangerous the job the higher the number on the OSHA scale and the higher the Workers Compensation tax is. OSHA is a governing body where all job injuries are reported to with the proper forms and detailed information of incident. If you start a warehouse job unloading trucks and get moved to work on machinery there is a higher risk of getting hurt. The first thing to do is call you Recruiter and let them know of the change. First of all, if the client wants to move you there may be a monetary increase involved. Don’t approach the client, rule number one.

Let the temporary company get the details of the job move, find out if your interested and comes to the terms. There were many clients who would move people into more difficult jobs hoping to not get caught and pay a higher billing rate.

The most important point of working temporary whatever your skill set is you are now on the inside. Buckle down, do your job, ask for a project if you’re not staying busy and you have a much higher chance of being offered a permanent job when one is open. Many of my clients use temporary workers to get a look at their work ethic before hiring full-time. Don’t be arrogant and think temporary jobs are beneath you.

Every assignment is a new contact, new people to work with who know what’s going on. Don’t openly talk about getting hired, ask after you’ve been there for a month if the employer hires temporaries from time to time. Let them do the talking.

I fired more people for walking in the door acting like working temporary was beneath them and when could they expect to get hired. With that attitude you will not get hired.

Many company’s are cyclical, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Spring, Summer vacations, temporary work is going on year round and has several large blips during the year. Maybe you want to pick up a temporary job for a month to pay for Christmas, what a great way to make extra money without making a long term commitment.

One very important part of my job was to know the client, tour their facility, look at the jobs temporaries worked and write good job descriptions. If you feel your job description doesn’t fit, call your Recruiter.

In 2019 employment is the lowest in 50 years, what that means is employers have lots of choices, don’t have to get in a hurry and have the cream of the crop. These numbers may be intimidating but temporary employment goes on thru all economy’s.

Melinda

Moving Forward

What’s a nursing home combined with a childcare center? A hopeful model for the future of aging — ideas.ted.com

Imagine a place for the elderly that’s also filled with the sounds of children playing. Marc Freedman goes to Singapore to investigate a new model for intergenerational living.

via What’s a nursing home combined with a childcare center? A hopeful model for the future of aging — ideas.ted.com

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Moving Forward

Thoughts on Job Hunting

For many Spring Break is time to job hunt before the next school year starts. I worked in the Recruiting/Consulting/Staffing business for 30 years. I wanted to share some lessons that helped me and got me fired twice.

Drawing the Line

It can be difficult to draw the work/friend line for extroverted people, you may think your new lunch mates are your friends. They are not your friends, they are people you don’t know and can’t trust. Don’t get become a pawn at any level. 

Honest

If you make a mistake be the first to bring it to light, there are no secrets. If you don’t own up to the error, the story can get blown out of proportion and you can’t crawl out. 

Once example early in my career, I was 21, owned a house and lived penny to penny. The VP of the company was coming to town to ensure everyone had read the new Employment Manual. The manual was given to me two hours before she arrived and my boss strongly recommended I say I’ve read the manual. I knew I would get fired if I told the truth and my life would get very difficult.

When the VP asked me if I’d read the manual, I said the manual was given to me this morning and I’m on chapter x. She probably didn’t know I was fired, being the low man on the pole. I’m no do-gooder or high on morals but I cared more about the truth in this case. My boss wasn’t going to push me. Luckily, I was hired by the business next door the same day. Politics suck and when your new is the time people target you. 

Professionalism

Always drive to the site before the interview. Have an alternate route if the weather might be an issue. More important than arriving 10 minutes early is doing your homework.

What does the company do, how long have they been in business, look at their website to see the stated corporate mission. Are they moving in the direction you want to go? Know what their key product or services are. You can find this information in the Annual Report if a public company.

Have solid questions, why is the position available, what is growth potential, what is their responsibilities. Ask them to draw you an overview of the departments they manage. Be sure to ask about their career growth and what is most important in the position.

Do not talk dollars, ask How is the package set up? Is there travel involved? When & if use your knowledge of the company to drop a line to let them know you did your homework. 

Dress Code

Always dress for the next job you want. Dress conservative, comfortable and not tight or constricting. Women should wear light make-up unless the interview is for a cosmetic company. Wear comfortable heels, no four-inch heels. One great way to see the companies dress code is to go by at close of business. 

Dress Code is always relative to the job, if working in the warehouse you don’t wear a dress. Men should wear a jacket at a minimum unless the job doesn’t require one. I always gave a candidate who came to interview in sport coat extra points. It can indicate they are eager to advance their career. 

Don’t wear an outfit you have not tried on, that will start your day in a panic. 

Do Not Gossip

Gossip is disruptive, looked at as distrust and immature. Remove yourself from the toxic conversation or toxic people. 

Do Not Go Over Bosses Head

No matter how bad, unethical your boss is don’t go over their head unless you want to get fired. A mistake I made and was fired for. 

Don’t run your personal business from work. 

Don’t spend time texting, using company copy paper or taking office supplies home. If you have time to chat on the phone or text your neglecting work. We all have the occasion to make a doctor’s appointment or send a text, if you are habitual expect to be fired. 

I am hardcore when it comes to getting a job and keeping a job. I’ve been told many times I expect too much and can’t be pleased. That may be true, I take it as a compliment because I’m driving the process not lagging behind. 

Good Luck!

Melinda

 

Moving Forward

Moonshine

Thanks friend for the reblog. Hugs.

TheFeatheredSleep's avatarTheFeatheredSleep

(inspired by finding an old photograph of a fancy-dress party I attended at University that I hadn’t seen in years)

One of them is me

but which holds the key? Later perhaps we

shall know our fruiting journey through

maze of youth

and slow pull of stocking

for kind of touch best found

in satiny afternoon glow

outside I hear my dim-eyed neighbor

mowing lawns until he aches silver

because his wife has turned away

nobody touches him anymore with

the dreams of yesteryear

so we sprint toward each

invisible finish line

with emptiness in our hearts

filled with busy distraction

nothing lasting, nothing to

endure or sate cold claim

of climbing into bed

unwanted or alone

the feel of darkness, our shroud

from terrible disappointment

and then

then I had it all and didn’t know

standing on the precipice

we laughed at our indomitable

facility to thrive

not yet…

View original post 294 more words

Moving Forward

On This Day In History March 7th

 

1876

Following the development of his prototype ‘harmonic telegraph’ device, Scotland-born Alexander Graham Bell receives a US patent on a revolutionary new form of instantaneous communication, the telephone.

 

1965

Marching for civil rights for African Americans, hundreds of unarmed and peaceful protesters cross the Edmund Pettus Bridge in Selma, Alabama, and are set upon by state troopers wielding billy clubs and tear gas. Public disgust at the incident will help galvanize support for passage of the Voting Rights Act.

2010

 

Kathryn Bigelow becomes the first female director to win an Oscar

On this day in 2010, Kathryn Bigelow becomes the first woman to win an Academy Award for best director, for her movie “The Hurt Locker,” about an American bomb squad that disables explosives in Iraq in 2004. Prior to Bigelow, only three women had been nominated for a best director Oscar: Lina Wertmueller for 1975’s “Seven Beauties,” Jane Campion for 1993’s “The Piano” and Sofia Coppola for 2003’s “Lost in Translation.”

 

1988

Writers Guild of America strike begins

After rejecting what the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers (AMPTP) said was a final offer, representatives of the Writers Guild of America (WGA) called a strike for all the union’s members to begin at 9 a.m. Pacific Time on this day in 1988.

 

BIRTHDAYS

1896 Philip Showalter Hench, American physician (Nobel Prize 1950 for cortisone), born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania (d. 1965)

1906 Benjamin “Bugsy” Siegel, American gangster who created casinos in Las Vegas, born in Brooklyn, New York (d. 1947)

 

1915 Samuel Joel “Zero” Mostel, American comedian and actor (Fiddler on the Roof, The Producers), born in Brooklyn, New York (d. 1977)

 

1929 Frank O Gehry, architect (Galleria-Oklahoma City)

 

1940 Mario Andretti, Italian American race-car driver (1969 Indianapolis 500, 1978 Formula One World Champion), born in Montona, Italy