Sending a special shout out to all the front line workers, grocery stores, delivery businesses, everyone doing their part to keep our countries safe and moving forward. Wash your hands and keep your distance. Virtual hugs. Have a great weekend.

Melinda

Welcome back to Weekend Music Share; the place where everyone can share their favourite music.

Feel free to use the ‘Weekend Music Share‘ banner in your post, and don’t forget to use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.

USA TODAY

Erin Richards

When Tamar Canady thinks about the upsides to the coronavirus pandemic, she thinks about how she and her 15-year-old daughter sleep in more these days. 

But the downsides are difficult.

Ella Canady, like many teens, often hides her emotions. But recently at her home in Phoenix, she has had some uncharacteristic breakdowns in front of her mom. She misses her friends. And school – the real kind, not the kind where she sits in front of a computer for five hours a day. 

“I’m sorry,” Tamar says as she soothes her daughter. “I know you didn’t want this.”

Nobody knows when or if life will return to normal after the coronavirus pandemic. But as the weeks of stay-at-home orders and school closures continue nationwide, parents are questioning whether isolation measures and physical distancing are doing lasting damage to their kids’ emotional development.

Will this generation grow up fearful of touching or standing too close? Will they know how to make friends or interact in group gatherings? And how will it affect their academics and job prospects?

Psychologists and economists are still gathering data, but here’s the consensus for the short term: Most of the kids will be all right.

Some experts see younger children poised to bounce back better than adolescents and teens, who are going to face some stress. But in general, children’s resilience is inherently tied to the stability and safety of their families. 

That’s why children from families who are already vulnerable – with the tightest finances, facing job losses, food insecurity, housing instability or fractured relationships – are likely to fare the worst and will need the most help. Without solid emotional and financial supports, those children are likely to face the biggest blow to their social, psychological and academic development.

The COVID slide:How school closures will cause ‘historic academic regression’

“We really are facing two crises,” said Ariel Kalil, a developmental psychologist at the University of Chicago and director of the Center for Human Potential and Public Policy. “We have the economic crisis, but we also have this school crisis that will have uneven impacts, depending on a family’s income.”

In general, high-income families will have the means and habits to make up for school closures. But low-income families will face more stress and have less access to resources.

“They’ll have fewer habits and supports for stimulating their children in the home environment to make up for that schooling loss,” Kalil said.

A cheap, easy way to reach parents:Reading rates and attendance shot up when schools texted moms

Most kids will bounce back after quarantine

Life may be weird right now, but many kids will build resiliency through this period, child development experts say.

There’s no precedent in the research literature for this kind of collective impact. But social and emotional outcomes for children will depend largely on how close they are to stress and how long it lasts, the stability of the resources around them and the presence of relationships that help moderate the stress, psychologists say. 

“I don’t think this is going to have an everlasting effect,” said Seth Pollak, a psychology professor at the University of Wisconsin-Madison and director of the Child Emotion Lab. Much of his work focuses on how disadvantaged children develop. But he suspects affluent, college-bound students will emerge just fine.

“Most kids will ride this out and probably write some interesting college application essays about it.”

Some may delay college:Coronavirus could change where students go to college, if they go at all

For toddlers, life during the pandemic is giving them exactly what they yearn for: the ability to more fully attach themselves to their parents stuck at home, said Amy Learmonth, a psychology professor at William Paterson University of New Jersey who studies children. 

“I would not worry about the little ones, even though they’re driving their parents nuts,” Learmonth said. “In the infant and toddler phase, it’s kids’ goal in life to have their attachment figure close to them.”

A guide to coronavirus for kids:Here’s what you need to know

Learmonth said she worries more about children in their tween years, who are pivoting from having family members at the center of their social interactions to placing peers in that role. Adolescents and teens are figuring out how to make and be friends with people because they share commonalities, not just proximity.

“They’re the ones who are probably suffering most in the short-term,” Learmonth said. “What they’re learning in the hallways of middle school is vastly different from what they’re learning to do in a virtual group chat with friends.” 

For some kids who associate those hallway interactions with stress or anxiety, quarantine has actually provided some relief, said Tim Kearney, chief of behavioral health at Community Health Center Inc. in Middletown, Connecticut. The organization serves students’ mental health needs at about 100 school-based sites across the state.

But many other children are struggling with the loss of face-to-face time with peer groups, as well as the loss of other school and community rituals, Kearney said.

‘I don’t know what to do with myself’

For Alina Tran, a senior at East Haven High School in Connecticut, her biggest worry before COVID-19 was picking out a college. Now she’s worried about keeping her Advanced Placement course grades above a C while trying to finish her senior year online. Tran places a lot of pressure on herself and dreams of becoming an optometrist.

She’s attended art therapy sessions for years at school to help manage her stress. Now those therapy sessions, hosted by Community Health Center, have moved to Zoom. Last week, Tran met online with three other students and a therapist while drawing from their homes and bedrooms.

“I don’t know what to do with myself,” said Tran, who found herself too out of sorts to even doodle. But she held up a painting from a previous week, where the prompt was to place a lighthouse in an incongruous setting. Tran painted it into a meadow.

“My parents didn’t graduate from college,” she said. “I’m really stressed about it. And with this whole pandemic, and with visiting colleges and everything getting canceled, I don’t really know a good way to transition to college.”

Nothing about college is normal right now:Stunned by coronavirus, a college town slowly awakens to a surreal world

Tran’s therapist assured her that her feelings were normal and encouraged her to make time for creativity to help stay calm.

It’s actually good advice for everyone. Kearney said adults can best help their kids by staying focused on the present, and by getting physical and mental exercise daily.

“One thing that helps is for parents to exercise creativity: ‘Let’s have a dinner from such-and-such a country, let’s eat food that’s all the same color, let’s have a picnic in the bedroom,’ ” Kearney said.

Parents should also consider relaxing limits on screen time, he added. Social media can provide kids with a much-needed connection to peers and social groups, especially for those who can’t safely go outside.

Social media could be teens’ saving grace:How students are staying connected remotely during isolation

Kids of low-wage workers need more support

Kearney and other child psychologists worry most about children from the most challenging circumstances.

“I have kids I’m treating who are going stir crazy because they haven’t gone outside in three weeks,” Kearney said. “They don’t have a yard, a patio or a balcony, and if they open the door to the hallway, there are lots of people milling about.”

They may not have internet, either:Students are learning from quarantined worksheets, Wi-Fi in school parking lots

New data from a study following service-industry workers in one large American city paints a particularly worrisome picture of their mental and economic well-being. 

The study was designed to track families where at least one parent worked in the service industry – in normal times. But the arrival of the pandemic allowed researchers to survey families before and immediately after the public health crisis shuttered most of the American economy.

The blow was immediate: More than 4 out of 10 households experienced a layoff between February and mid-March, said Anna Gassman-Pines, an associate professor of public policy at Duke University and a co-author of the research. Her partner is Elizabeth Ananat, an economist at Barnard College.

By early April, layoffs had occurred in almost 6 in 10 households being studied.

The job losses were accompanied by a spike in severe mental health symptoms. About 10% of parents reported feeling anxious or depressed all day at the end of March, up from 6% of parents who reported feeling that way a month prior, the results showed.

Children felt worse, too. About 20% of them started chronically misbehaving at home, their parents reported, a jump from 14% the month before, Gassman-Pines said.

“What was surprising to us was just how quickly families’ well-being took a hit after the full extent of the crisis started to take place,” Gassman-Pines said.

Research shows economic downturns are linked with a host of bad outcomes that hit vulnerable families hardest.

Disadvantaged youth who experience community downturns in their formative years are more likely to have lower test scores and lower rates of college attendance, Gassman-Pines added. And even if children don’t have a family member who loses a job, they tend to do worse in school and life when many people around them experience unemployment.

The most dramatic solution won’t be cheap: Gassman-Pines said policymakers need to be thinking about how to get more cash to low-income families as quickly as possible.

“The majority of these people responded that they cannot pay for groceries this month,” Gassman-Pines said. “Same with rent and mortgage. They are really needing resources for those.”

Coronavirus stimulus checks:For many, the money is missing. Where is it going?

Contact Erin Richards at (414) 207-3145 or erin.richards@usatoday.com. Follow her on Twitter at @emrichards.

Education coverage at USA TODAY is made possible in part by a grant from the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation. The Gates Foundation does not provide editorial input.

LYME WARRIOIR

March 23, 2019

We can get so caught up in treatments and pressing forward that the topic of Self-Grief, (the process of grieving your “former” self) is a rarely spoken about issue within the Lyme Disease, Chronic Pain and Illness communities. Many people frequently experience hardship over not feeling like their self that they used to be. They cannot do the same hobbies, have the same friends, etc. However, if you allow yourself to go on this journey of self-grieving; you often will end up learning your own goals and true self better than you ever could imagine.

1.       Allow your mind time to catch up to what your body is going through and has gone through.

Did you have a full-time job? Were you in school to finish a degree? Could you shower, put on makeup, get dressed and STILL have energy to go out or socialize? Me too. The changes that happen when serious illness enters your life is a whirlwind of loss to say the least. As if a category 5 hurricane crashed through every single life plan and goal that was once laid out before you, it takes time to come to grips with the losses and to establish a course of action. Don’t expect yourself to be able to process all of these at once. It will come in waves, ride them instead of bracing for impact.

2.       Accept limitations without settling for less.

Living with limitations does NOT mean a life half empty. It may take you longer to complete a mentally draining task, but you can do it. You may need assistance with walking, driving, or even self-care but at the end of the day you are not doing less…in fact, you are doing more because you have to now learn how to achieve all of those check marks by your to do list (even if it’s a mental list) in a totally new fashion. Accepting your difference will never make you less than another, it only empowers you to reach your goals by whatever means necessary. 

3.       Avoid romanticizing your time before illness.

This is a BIG one and honestly one of the hardest for me. We’ve all heard those stories about the “good ole days”. The good ole days of someone’s football triumphs, crazy parties and cross-country love affairs make for great Netflix specials but are often far from reality. However, they serve as great examples of what not to do. Think about it, when you see characters that do these rose-colored glasses reminiscing, they are not typically the most fulfilled individuals nor the most cheerful. Putting a version of yourself or even a time period in your life on a pedestal only breeds bitterness and strife. We can remember fondly times before disease raised its ugly head but allowing thought patterns to form saying “the good days are behind us” only gives depression, angst and hopelessness take root.

4.       Set new achievable goals.

Is there a book you’ve always wanted to read? What about a topic that has always peaked interest? After facing the reality of your own mortality, there is a certain freedom that follows. The societal norms get pushed aside and you are truly free to do and be whatever it is that you desire. Grow how you want to grow, heal what wounds your heart tries to hide, embrace life in all its sublimity. The possibilities are endless. So, what if you physically can’t climb Mt. Everest! Most people can’t. You have your own Mt. Everest within you…start climbing!

5.       Understand and forgive that most people will not be able to comprehend what you have experienced.

“You don’t get it until you’ve got it.” One of my Lymie friends says that all the time and I love it! Because it is so very true! Think of how hard it would be to explain the sunset to someone that is blind. Or what a flower smells like to someone who cannot smell. (I had a friend that couldn’t smell, its hard to do…trust me). The same goes for life with Lyme Disease. No one else will ever fully understand the struggle of having doctors turn you away or feeling like your body has turned against you. Good luck explaining how you miss yourself to someone that has never walked that dark and terrifying path. But that is why we have a community like this in place. We know. We have been there. We are still there. Forgive those that don’t understand. They won’t get it until they have it.

6.       Dream a new dream for YOU!

Just because the life you dreamed of didn’t play out doesn’t mean you cannot develop a new dream. Guess what, most people have multiple dreams in a lifetime. You may feel like it is too late in life to start dreaming and reaching for a new purpose; but it is never too late! We never stop growing as people and should never stop learning. Why not carry that on into your life path too?

7.       Release your bottled-up emotions.

Cry, scream, break cheap plates you buy from a thrift store. ANYTHING! Those feelings of guilt and pain flow especially well when breaking things. Don’t ask me how I know, I just know. You don’t always have to be the strong one, the inspiring one, the funny girl or guy. If you are sad, be sad. It really is that simple. We were given emotions in order to feel and connect to the reality around us; to experience life in all its majestic chaos.

8.       Get involved with your fellow warriors.

Want to feel a sense of purpose again? Missing that social interaction you use to feel when you were able to be a “functioning member” of society? Open up about your struggles. Reach out to other Lyme Warriors and Pain Warriors. When you form a connection based upon using your pain for power, you will see that your story is so powerful. Even if you don’t want to go public about your journey, simply reaching out to someone that is struggling can be a great source of personal achievement and satisfaction. If you are a real go-getter, my fellow over achieving warriors, get involved in a nonprofit organization. Take up donations for a charity. Watch that goofy live feed, share the fundraising events, comment and let a writer know you enjoyed their piece. There are so many ways (big and small) that you can get involved and spread some love.

9.       Learn to love yourself and your body in the present condition.

Instead of the running narrative in your mind (and possibly out loud) that “my body hates me”, “my immune system is weak”, “this will never change”, “I will always be in pain”, or even “I can’t do this anymore”; fill your mental space will reassurance, love and acceptance. Your body doesn’t hate you. Your immune system truly is doing the best it possibly can and just needs your help. This is the only physical form we are given and therefore our one true and original ally in this fight for survival. Your body is already under attack for a large majority of the day, don’t allow your own mental consciousness to become another battle for it to wage. Become your own ally. Take medications, meditate, eat healthy foods and nurture yourself.

10.   This one is up to you!

This is no one else’s journey but yours. At the end of the day, you are the one that holds the only power in this situation. Yes, not even your disease is more powerful than the essence of you. While disease may wreck our bodies, YOU are still in there. Your essence, soul, spirit remains regardless of the physical shell it inhabits. So, we here at Lyme Warrior want to hear what additional steps you are taking to make this chapter your new “good ole days” story origin.

In Lyme Warrior, Lyme DiseaseShare 22 Likes

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “directions.” Find a household cleaner/bottle of shampoo/something in the freezer/anything you can find with instructions on it, then copy down a single direction (just one) on how to use/cook/etc. your chosen thing, and make it the first line or word of your post. Then keep writing whatever comes out. Have fun!

The closet thing to me was a bottle of Iron supplements so here are the directions. Suggested usage: For best results take one capsule daily or as recommended by your healthcare practitioner.

The thing about vitamins and supplements is how many times do we actually ask the doctor about each one and do they agree with the dosage on the bottle? I do good to include the supplements in my medicine list.

Do you follow instructions? For the most part I do for medicine and cooking. Outside of that it depends on the mood and traffic.

Melinda

Join us for the fun and sharing good media stories. 

For more on the Stream of Consciousness Saturday, visit Linda Hill’s blog. Here’s the link:https://lindaghill.com

Here are the rules for SoCS:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.
2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.
3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.
4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours. Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.
5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.
6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!
7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.
8. Have fun!

For those like me waiting for the pool/lakes to warm up this video is for you. Have a great weekend. Be Safe. Melinda

Welcome back to Weekend Music Share; the place where everyone can share their favourite music.

Feel free to use the ‘Weekend Music Share‘ banner in your post, and don’t forget to use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.

Willow & Sage from Stampington

You will need

1/2 cup vinegar

1/2 cup witch hazel

1/4 cup distilled water

1 TB. rubbing alcohol

20 drops eucalyptus essential oil

20 drops lemongrass essential oil

10 drops cedarwood essential oil

10 drops rosemary essential oil

10 drops peppermint/spearmint essential oil

Glass spray bottle 8 oz.

To Make

Add all ingredients together in a glass spray bottle in the order listed above, leaving essential oils to go in last. Shake to combine. Try to use an amber glass bottle if possible to prevent the sun from penetrating the oils inside, which could lessen their potency. Keep Bottle out of direct sunlight and somewhere cool.

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “val.” Find a word that starts with “val” or if you’re not doing the A to Z Challenge, find a word that just has “val” in it, and use that word any way you’d like. Enjoy!

Values

What are ours?

What are mine?

Melinda

Join us for the fun and sharing good media stories. 

For more on the Stream of Consciousness Saturday, visit Linda Hill’s blog. Here’s the link:https://lindaghill.com

Here are the rules for SoCS:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.
2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.
3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.
4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours. Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.
5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.
6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!
7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.
8. Have fun!