A Mother Finds Her Chronic Pain Tribe

February 17, 2020November 8, 2020 Looking for the LightLeave a comment

What You Don’t Know Can Hurt You

Posted on January 11, 2020 by Jennifer Potter

There was a time in my life when I was genuinely lonely. I reverently refer to it as my “whitewashed life” because for the outsider looking in, my actions gave the appearance of being pleasantly put together, all nice and clean. But the reality was that beneath the business of working full time, managing the health care needs for my medically complex children and trying my best to be a “good” mom, if you looked closely, you would see that my foundation was dry, cracked and brittle. And, although there were people in my life- understanding co-workers, compassionate friends, and a supportive family- who cared about my well-being, I was missing a key component- authentic connection.

It is human nature to desire to be a part of something bigger than ourselves. To be a contributing member of a group. It’s why we join clubs, participate in activities and go to events. But when chronic illness is a part of your life, your ability to commit to these activities is greatly limited. And when you are the parent of a chronically ill child, or in my case, children, your commitment lies elsewhere. Friends disappear, life moves on without you and your “whitewashing” continues.

Don’t get me wrong. It wasn’t that the people in my life weren’t meaningful to me or that they didn’t enrich me somehow, they did, it was simply that because my life differed so greatly from theirs that we often had little in common. I simply wasn’t finding people who wanted to talk about the kinds of things I wanted, or better yet, needed, to talk about, and most of all they didn’t really understand.

On a particularly lonely day I reached out to a friend and shared my feelings of seclusion, sadness over missed opportunities, worry for the future and the overwhelming feeling of being “lost” and asked, “How do you do it?” Her reply was simple. “I found that finding a tribe of people who are rowing the same boat is so important. Reach out to groups and like-experienced people. You fit. Your kids fit. It’s just that you don’t likely fit with the norm. (Normal-whatever that is-is overrated anyway!). Find your tribe.” But who? And where could I find them?

I spent a lot of time searching for other moms who were talking about what I was craving to talk about. My memberships in various Facebook Groups grew and I found surface level support. But my insatiable need for in person connections remained. Something was still missing, I needed something deeper. Focused more than ever, I continued my quest to find what my friend had described as my “tribe”.

And then it happened.

In May 2019, I registered our family to attend the Pediatric Take Control of Your Pain Retreat sponsored by the U.S. Pain Foundation. It was an opportunity to escape our medical routines, have a quick family getaway and gain new insight to managing my children’s chronic pain. The retreat offered a parent education track and pediatric education track as well as a family fun day- something we all needed. I remember walking in and feeling an immediate connection- this was it! These were the people my friend had told me to find. Throughout the weekend we laughed, we cried, we comforted. We encouraged, we pondered and we problem solved. We embraced our vulnerabilities and immersed ourselves in genuine discussion. They fed my cravings and best yet, my quest for authentic, in-person connection was complete. The women I met filled my loneliness. They were rowing my boat. And just like that, when I least expected it, I found my tribe.

Since that time, my tribe has encouraged, equipped and empowered me. This group of like-minded individuals has helped me to accept myself for who I am, allowed me to acknowledge that doing “my best” is “good enough” and inspired me to become the best possible version of myself. We support, we celebrate, we offer grace and by doing so, we have found that our shared experiences are more compelling and make each one of us stronger. This is my tribe and it has changed my life.

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Friday Quote

February 14, 2020February 14, 2020 Looking for the Light5 Comments

Have a great weekend! M

Men & Womens Health

#Wordless Wednesday My Gramps

February 12, 2020February 12, 2020 Looking for the Light6 Comments

My gramps died eight years ago today and I’m heartbroken still today. Melinda

Men & Womens Health

Last Birthday Song

February 12, 2020February 12, 2020 Looking for the Light7 Comments

Every year after I left home my grandparents would get on the phone together and sing Happy Birthday to me. It became a much-loved family tradition.

Eight years ago today my gramps died, before he slipped into a coma he sang his last words, Happy Birthday to my brother. It was a great gift to leave him.

Eight years ago today a huge part of me died, my gramps was the rock, the man who loved me no matter what I did or said. We became closer than I thought imaginable while I cared for him as he lived out the end of his life. Those memories are as fresh today as they were then. Him being grumpy because he wanted biscuits, not oatmeal. Stop telling him to get up and move around, he’s a grown man. He didn’t need oxygen.

I lost the man who served as my father, I lost the man I loved more than anything else in the world except my granny.

I lost my gramps but have a lifetime of memories and each is precious to me.

Melinda

Men & Womens Health

HEARING ON MEDICAL CANNABIS IMPORTANT PROGRESS; TAKE ACTION TO ASK FOR SECOND HEARING

February 11, 2020February 11, 2020 Looking for the Light1 Comment

January 31, 2020/ U.S. Pain Foundation/ 0 Comments

On Jan. 15, the House Energy and Commerce Subcommittee on Health held a hearing on discrepancies between state and federal medical cannabis policy and federal roadblocks to clinical research. Many felt the conversation was long overdue.

“I honestly never dreamed I would see, in my lifetime, such progress and discussion on the need for more research on cannabis and CBD at the federal level,” says Ellen Lenox Smith, Co-Director of Medical Cannabis Advocacy for U.S. Pain Foundation. “But to my excitement, it happened, and it was a thorough discussion, lasting three and a half hours.”

An estimated 44 million Americans reported using cannabis last year. Presently, 33 states allow medicinal use and 11 states, plus the District of Columbia, also allow recreational use. However, federal and state policies are miles apart and there are strict federal restrictions on research.

The goal of the hearing was also to explore some of the current bills related to cannabis use and research. Right now, there are six federal bills on the topic:

H.R. 171, the “Legitimate Use of Medicinal Marijuana Act”
H.R. 601, the “Medical Cannabis Research Act of 2019”
H.R. 1151, the “Veterans Medical Marijuana Safe Harbor Act”
H.R. 2843, the “Marijuana Freedom and Opportunity Act”
H.R. 3797, the “Medical Marijuana Research Act of 2019”
H.R. 3884, the “Marijuana Opportunity Reinvestment and Expungement Act of 2019” or the “MORE Act of 2019”

A summary of these bills can be found here, in a memo circulated prior to the hearing.

The hearing brought together representatives from three federal agencies:

Matthew J. Strait, Senior Policy Advisor, Diversion Control Division Drug Enforcement Administration
Douglas Throckmorton, MD, Deputy Director for Regulatory Programs, Center for Drug Evaluation and Research Food and Drug Administration
Nora D. Volkow, MD, Director, National Institute on Drug Abuse National Institutes of Health

The three individuals were questioned by the committee on a number of topics, including medical use of cannabis, current challenges their agencies face in approving research, and so on.

READ AN OP-ED ON THE HEARING BY ELLEN LENOX SMITH IN MORNING CONSULT.

The difficulty with research stems from cannabis being listed as a Schedule I drug, alongside drugs like LSD, heroin, and ecstasy. This category is for substances that have no medical value and are considered to have a high potential for abuse. Putting cannabis into this highly controlled category has meant that it takes approval by the National Institutes for Health (NIH), Food & Drug Administration (FDA), and Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) for the right to research it. In addition, only cannabis from the University of Mississippi is allowed to be used. Along with being in limited supply, this source has proven to lack commercial quality and correct potency to keep up with the sources in various states.

“We are stuck in a catch-22,” says Lenox Smith. “We need to show support for medical use to educate the public, but we aren’t able to conduct the proper research. Thus, we are left with unanswered questions about both cannabis and CBD.”

CBD is uniquely problematic. In December 2018, the Farm Bill removed hemp from Schedule I, but no regulations were established about its safety. So the public now has access to CBD, but there is no standardization or evidence about quality, dosage, possible interactions, and safety. It is in creams, pills, shampoo, food, drinks, and much more.

“People are paying a high price for CBD items and are not always getting what is being sold on the product packaging,” says Lenox Smith. “This needs to be corrected.”

There was a positive agreement when it comes to understanding the use of cannabis for medical use. The three agency representatives and the majority of the legislators present agreed it shows potential for help with pain, neurological disorders like seizures, and nausea, to name a few. In fact, a drug called Epidolix was approved by the FDA in 2018, for those that are two and older with seizures. However, there are also many issues that are not clear and need to be researched further.View a list of topics mentioned that need to be further reviewed and clarified.

Given the many unresolved questions, a second hearing was suggested on several occasions.

“As we move forward, we hope that patients will be included in the next hearing, whose date and time have not been announced yet,” says Lenox Smith. “This hearing brought up concerns that have been on many minds for years now. We need to be sure patients and their doctors are educated with correct, evidence-based information so they can make a safe, intelligent decision about using cannabis and/or CBD.”

U.S. Pain Foundation is running an action campaign to encourage a second hearing, but this time, we ask that the hearing include patients and provider voices. Taking part requires just a few minutes of your time.

URGE CONGRESS TO INCLUDE PATIENTS IN NEXT HEARING

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

Male Survivor Big Changes Coming

February 10, 2020 Looking for the Light3 Comments

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

Why the death of Kobe Bryant hits us so hard — and how to cope

February 10, 2020February 10, 2020 Looking for the LightLeave a comment

We may not have known Kobe Bryant personally, but the grief some of us feel over his death is still very real.

NBC NEWS NOW

Jan. 28, 2020, 5:18 PM CST By Nicole Spector

It’s November, 1996, and I’m 13 years old. My father and I are sitting court-side at the Los Angeles Forum as the Lakers take position.

“Keep an eye on this kid,” my dad says, nudging me to glance up from my hot dog and peanuts. “He’s gonna be a star.”

Dad is talking about Kobe Bryant, the 18-year old wunderkind who, standing only about five feet from where I sit, looks to be about three times my size.

“Just out of high school,” Dad continues. “Can you believe it?”

No, I can’t believe it. Bryant’s magnificent height and build make him look older to me, but his face is boyish and sweet, bearing a puckish grin. The crowd is going crazy and suddenly, so is my heart: it dawns on me that Kobe is the most beautiful boy (for I cannot yet see him as a “man”) I’ve ever seen.

I actually don’t remember much of Bryant’s first game, performance-wise; but I do remember how his sweat laced around his temples, and glistened on his cheekbones and that, at one moment, he was so close to me, I felt the hot wind surge off his body. I also remember (though admittedly, this may have happened later that season) that another player soared over me after the ball and, with his enormous foot, conked me right on the head. As people in nearby seat huddled around me asking if I was OK, my sole concern was whether Kobe had seen the embarrassing incident.

I never met Kobe Bryant, but I felt like I knew him, in fact, felt like I loved him, and when I learned that he died (along with 8 others, including his 13-year-old daughter, Gianna), my stomach lurched with the bad kind of butterflies and my eyes welled. I spent much of the day in bed, reading story after horrific story on the helicopter crash that snatched those beautiful lives away but an hour from where I was lounging around like it was any old Sunday morning in Los Angeles.

OPINION

Kobe Bryant was an inspiration to many — but not all. We can’t ignore why.

I was surely not alone in my despair as people around the globe took to social media to share their shock and dismay. Gay L. Polk-Payton, an attorney and judge in Mississippi who named her 21-year old son Gaybriel Jekobe (French for “I Kobe”) Payton, after Kobe Bryant had hardly gotten out of bed since she heard the news.

“I lost it when I found out he died,” Polk-Payton tells me, choking up. “And then when I found out Gianna was with him, his baby girl he nurtured so much and who idolized him, I just lost it all over again. I had to take [Monday] off of work. I’ve been in the same clothes for two days. I’m just a mess.”This grief is valid and the worst thing you can do is deny it

Polk-Payton is giving herself the time she needs to mourn and accepting that this is a real loss. Her way is the healthy and healing way to go about it, according to therapists.

A loss must be grieved whether it is a personal relationship or whether it is a relationship from a distance.

“This loss is very real because Kobe Bryant was a real person whom we all feel like we knew at some level,” says Tami Frye, a licensed master social worker and faculty member for Walden University’s Master of Social Work program. “He met a need for most of us by providing entertainment and by giving us joy. We pulled for him when we watched him play and we were saddened when we saw him lose. We felt in some way we were part of his life and he was part of ours. Now that part is over. An ending like this must be grieved. A loss must be grieved whether it is a personal relationship or whether it is a relationship from a distance.”A mortality wake-up call that challenges our sense of normalcy

Much like fellow NBC News BETTER contributor Vivian Manning-Schaffel did upon the death of The Cars’ frontman Ric Ocasek, I found myself wondering if I was really mourning Bryant, or if I was mourning those bonding times with my dad watching a legacy unfold on the Lakers’ home court. Such nostalgic melancholy certainly may play a role, but what’s perhaps more devastating, are the tragic circumstances around this particular kind of death — and the beaming potential of those who perished.

“There’s a huge sense of loss when people who are young and really excelling in life are stripped away from us out of the blue,” says Lauren Cook, a doctoral candidate in clinical psychology at Pepperdine University. “It’s really triggering as it’s a stark reminder of life’s unpredictability. We tend to go through our days with a sense of normalcy that we can take it for granted. A loss like this is something that humans, who crave homeostasis, find tragically alarming.”

How grief affects your brain and what to do about it

SEPT. 11, 201803:06

Additionally, while we may have intellectually known that Kobe, like all humans, was not immortal, we may have never really considered his mortality before given his towering celebrity.

“Celebrities’ lives are always on display, and they always seem ‘larger than life’,” says Natalie Mica, a licensed professional counselor. “Their presence almost seems immortal, and their death destroys that illusion and puts us face to face with our own mortality as well as the loss of the illusion that life is safe and predictable.”

Mica adds that when a beloved celebrity dies, this loss of illusion happens on a collective level, which adds to the complexity and intensity of grief. “It is no longer an individual’s personal grief over loss, but ‘our’ grief,” Mica says. “Adding to this is the fact that each new loss can bring up the memory of prior losses. So, as we collectively mourn the loss of a celebrity such as Kobe, the pain of other losses can seep in as well. As we feel these losses together, a thread emerges that recognizes how precious and fragile life is. For a time, this grief gives us full contact with our shared humanity despite our differences.”by TaboolaSponsored Stories WELLS FARGOWells Fargo Propel® Card YAHOO SEARCHThe Honda CR-V Will Take Your Breath Away. Search 2018 Honda CR-V

[A celebrity death] puts us face to face with our own mortality as well as the loss of the illusion that life is safe and predictable.

NATALIE MICA, LPCThe grief you feel is valid — don’t push it away

It might be tempting to try and push yourself back into your routine and simply get on with the week, but if this loss is hurting you, it’s important for your mental health to take the time to experience your feelings.

“Grief responses to a celebrity death are very real responses,” says Rachel Del Dosso, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “If you feel sadness, shock, anger, disbelief, fear, etc., those are all normal responses. People might think they are not allowed to grieve someone they did not personally know, but just because you didn’t personally know Kobe doesn’t mean he didn’t occupy an important space in your life. For many people he was a hero, someone to look up to, an inspiration, a symbol of strength and perseverance. Many people all across the country are mourning the loss of a very special person, and seeing someone larger than life pass so young (especially with all of the other children and parents on the helicopter) can bring up fears around our own mortality (and the mortality of our loved ones). it can bring up feelings of not feeling safe as well. For some children, it may be their first encounter with death. For their parents: let your children share about how much Kobe meant to them, make room for them to share their feelings, allow them to tell stories of special memories of him.”

Mica adds that grief is not only a measure of loss, “but of love, respect and hope. Honoring grief honors these things as well. Pushing past it, minimizing it or explaining it away invalidates our grief and our tie to this inevitable part of the human experience.”

YOUR BRAIN ON…

The science behind why we can’t look away from tragedy

Be kind to yourself (and be patient)

If this loss has shaken you, it may be a while before you feel OK again. Be patient with yourself.

“To cope with this loss, it is critical to be gentle with yourself over the next couple of weeks,” says Nekeshia Hammond, a psychologist and author. She stresses that it’s important to surround yourself with family and friends to help you through this loss.

If no one in your family or friend group is terribly fazed by the tragedy, consider seeking community online.

“Social media — and the internet broadly — is a great way to find other people who are experiencing similar feelings so you can talk through what it means,” says Natalie Pennington, assistant professor of Communication Studies at University of Nevada, Las Vegas, specializing in online relationships, grief and social support. “Close friends and family may come together at a wake or funeral to commemorate the deceased, but when it is a celebrity, this can be hard for a broader group of people who weren’t close to the deceased, but still care.”

The next best thing you can do to cope with this loss (once you have fully processed it), is to use it to make you a better person.

“Helping others is the best way to prevent getting stuck or to get unstuck,” says Frye. “It changes the focus from your own pain and moves that focus onto others and their pain. Finally, remember the fact that Kobe Bryant did so much to help others; he took his fame and did good out of it. The best way to cope with this loss is to find a way to take the good you have from being a fan and incorporate that into your life. Let it make you a better person. Let it help you reach out to others.”More on BETTER

Want more tips like these? NBC News BETTER is obsessed with finding easier, healthier and smarter ways to live. Sign up for our newsletter and follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

Men & Womens Health

“#SoSC” Prompt for Week is “pack”

February 8, 2020March 19, 2020 Looking for the Light13 Comments

StreamOfConsciousnessQuaintRevival2019

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “(un)pack.” Use “pack” or its opposite in your post. Have fun!

It didn’t take long to decide what direction to go with this post, unpacking. I started blogging in 2005 when my granny was very ill and I was able to unpack my fears of being a good caregiver with generous followers.

Over time I opened up about my abusive background and mental health challenges, unpacking each delicate piece as my heart allowed. People embraced me, understood me and many were in the same place as me. By the time I started talking about my abusive background, it was to unpack the memories in hopes of helping others, I had already worked through the trauma with years of therapy.

Unpacking my struggle with mental health is ongoing in there is no cure for Treatment-Resistant Bipolar 1. I haven’t written much lately since I’ve been stable for the past year.

One topic I never expected to unpack was Lyme diseases, it took years of unknowns, misdiagnosis and quite frankly giving up at the time. But I have to say unpacking my experience with Lyme is the best move I’ve ever made. I made it my mission to educate everyone who would listen about Lyme and how common it was. I spent years, writing every week about my treatments or health updates.

One of the horrible things about Lyme diseases is you get co-infections and over time the bacteria spread to many places in your body causing other illnesses. The Lyme bacteria went to my brain and caused cognitive function problems like lack of balance and dementia. That’s a bitch. Then I developed Fibromyalgia and full-body arthritis.

Those years on IV Therapy were some dark years and I probably would have died had I not had an outlet to unpack all the pain and frustration I was going thru.

I want to say thank you for always reading, commenting and being there through the years and I look forward to many more blogging years with you.

Melinda

Join us for the fun and sharing good media stories.

For more on the Stream of Consciousness Saturday, visit Linda Hill’s blog. Here’s the link:https://lindaghill.com

Here are the rules for SoCS:

Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.
Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.
There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.
Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours. Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.
Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.
Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!
As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.
Have fun!

Moving Forward

#Weekend Music Share Every Kind of People

February 7, 2020 Looking for the Light6 Comments

I appreciate you and so glad to be a part of your day. Melinda

Moving Forward

Perfection is hard on our mental health — Guest Blogger Shedding Light on Mental Health

February 7, 2020 Looking for the LightLeave a comment

As hard as I try to hold myself to high standards, I’ve discovered I’m not a machine. I still look in the mirror and find a human being looking back at me, with all of my flaws, faults and positives as well. Sometimes I expect so much from myself, when I make a mistake or […]
Perfection is hard on our mental health — Shedding Light on Mental Health

Fun

Friday Quote

February 7, 2020 Looking for the Light1 Comment

Have a great weekend! M

Moving Forward

2020 Migraine World Summit — Guest Blogger UndeniablySara

February 6, 2020 Looking for the LightLeave a comment

Save the date! The 9-day online Migraine World Summit will premiere from March 18 – 26, 2020. Get your free ticket now!
2020 Migraine World Summit — UndeniablySara

Fun · Health and Wellbeing

Homemade Makeup Remover

February 5, 2020 Looking for the LightLeave a comment

Willow and Sage by Stampington

By Amy Knight

You Will Need

Carrier oil
Dark Cloth

To Use

Dampen face with warm water. Apply small amount of oil to your hands and rub it all over your face, focusing on areas with heavy makeup. Rinse with water and wipe off your face with a dark cloth.

Note

You can use any carrier oil for this method. Certain oils work better for each skin type. Grapseeed or jojoba oil work great for once-prone skin, while sweet almond oil, sunflower oil, or olive oil work great for normal skin. Play around with the carrier oil to see which works best for you.

Fun

#Wordless Wednesday Pray for China

February 5, 2020 Looking for the Light5 Comments

Please keep the healthcare workers in your mind, they give their lives to help those fighting this nasty virus. Melinda

Fun

#Wordless Wednesday Pray for Australia

February 5, 2020 Looking for the Light2 Comments

Please keep Australia and New Zealand in your thoughts and prayers.

Have a great day, I’m so glad you stopped by today. Melinda

Moving Forward

9 Strategies To Prevent Falls In Seniors — Guest Blogger WHO’S CARING FOR THE CAREGIVER

February 4, 2020March 19, 2020 Looking for the LightLeave a comment

As a home health nurse, I have done a lot of education on fall prevention. Falls can cause serious injury and even death to Senior citizens. According to the National Council on Aging, falls are the leading cause of fatal injury and The most common cause of non-fatal trauma-related hospital admissions among older adults. There […]
9 Strategies To Prevent Falls In Seniors — WHO’S CARING FOR THE CAREGIVER

Moving Forward

FDA Approves Two New Medications to Treat Acute Migraine Attacks — Guest Blogger Chicago Headache Center & Research Institute

February 2, 2020 Looking for the Light2 Comments

In the last six weeks two new oral medications have become available for the acute treatment of migraine. Reyvow (lasmitidan) was approved by the Food and Drug Aministration (FDA) October 11, 2019, but it has only recently been made available to prescribe. Ubrelvy (ubrogepant) was approved by FDA December 23, 2019, and is also now […]
FDA Approves Two New Medications to Treat Acute Migraine Attacks — Chicago Headache Center & Research Institute

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

Medicare and Medicaid will cover Acupunture for Chronic Low Back Pain

February 2, 2020 Looking for the Light2 Comments

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

Flowly: Relaxation Training and 30 Day Trial

February 2, 2020 Looking for the Light1 Comment

Dear pain warriors,
Increased stress, anxiety, and trouble sleeping are common for people living with chronic pain. Unfortunately, stress, anxiety, and poor sleep can make pain worse, and vice versa. It’s a vicious cycle.
That’s why we are delighted to share a new tool for managing anxiety, stress, and sleep, and by association, managing pain: Flowly: Relaxation Training. Flowly is an iPhone app that combines biofeedback and virtual reality (VR) using either just your phone or a bluetooth sensor.
From the comfort of your home, Flowly lets you see how your heart rate and breathing change as you engage in VR. By being able to see your heart rate and breathing, you can learn to make changes in your body to reduce anxiety, reduce pain, and in some cases, even increase sleep and focus.
In case studies, Flowly helped reduce pain an average of 46 percent after each session. It is currently partnering with the National Institutes of Health (NIH) on an upcoming clinical trial.
One-month, risk-free trialFlowly understands how important it is to be able to try a therapy option before investing money in it. Here’s how their one-month, risk-free trial works: download the Flowly app and sign up for the monthly or annual subscription. Flowly will automatically send you a kit, including one VR headset and heart rate sensor (the cost of the kit is included in your subscription).
If you wish to discontinue Flowly, just send back the kit before the end of the first month, and they will refund your subscription and cover return shipping costs. If you want to continue with Flowly, you will keep the kit and continue with your subscription.
You also can get a more general sense of the program without a subscription, just by downloading the app, which includes eight free videos with guided breathing, mindfulness exercises, and biofeedback. (Note that these eight free videos do not incorporate VR; the subscription and kit is required for a complete experience.)

Start your trial

A special discount for U.S. PainFor everyone who signs up by Feb. 16, Flowly is offering a 33 percent discount ($19.99/month or $119.99/year) using the code USPAIN2020. The code can be entered at the bottom of the subscription page.
The subscription includes: A Flowly Kit, including one VR headset and one heart rate sensor (valued at $50) Entire library of relaxing VR worlds2D content you can experience when you’re on the go Physiological reports unique to you to track your progress
The U.S. Pain discount lasts one year, after which you will continue at the standard rate. For questions about the trial and/or subscriptions, contact Flowly.
Want to learn more?Join us on Thursday, Jan. 30, at 9:30 pm EST for a Facebook Live event with Flowly founder, Celine Tien. Celine will answer questions and a patient will demonstrate how the program works.
If you have a question you’d like Celine to answer during the Facebook Live, email us!
Sincerely,

Men & Womens Health

“#SoSC” Prompt for Week is “choices”

February 1, 2020March 19, 2020 Looking for the Light4 Comments

StreamOfConsciousnessQuaintRevival2019

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “choices.” Base your post on the subject of making small, uneventful choices. Enjoy!

We make so many choices in a day, it’s like we’re on auto pilot sometimes. Today I received a new pair of boots, I was wearing, admiring them, thinking what a great purchase I made.

The doorbell rings, it’s a delivery, I step out and the storm door catches the front of my boot and make a three inch long scratch. There was a time when I would have gotten very angry, but as I age little choices are easier to make.

A scratch on a boot is no big deal in the scheme of things and will probably get a few more as I wear them. I can just look at them as already worn in instead of shiny and new.

Melinda

Join us for the fun and sharing good media stories.

For more on the Stream of Consciousness Saturday, visit Linda Hill’s blog. Here’s the link:https://lindaghill.com

Here are the rules for SoCS:

Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.
Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.
There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.
Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours. Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.
Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.
Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!
As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.
Have fun!

Men & Womens Health

#Weekend Music Share

February 1, 2020 Looking for the LightLeave a comment

I’m so glad you stopped by today. I appreciate you and so glad to be a part of your day. Melinda

Men & Womens Health

#WATWB Teacher Moved to Tears By Students Pooling Money to Replace His Stolen Shoes

February 1, 2020 Looking for the Light2 Comments

We Are The World Blogfest in white

By Good News Network – Jan 31, 2020

A group of middle schoolers from Bellevue, Nebraska is being praised across social media after they rallied together to surprise their teacher with a new pair of shoes.

Earlier this month, Logan Fontenelle Middle School teacher Trey Payne was heartbroken to discover that his favorite pair of sneakers had been stolen out of his classroom.

Since the shoes were also rather expensive, Payne’s students were particularly upset over the theft.

The students then pooled their money in order to surprise their teacher with a brand new pair of replacement shoes—and Payne could hardly contain his emotions.

In a video which has since been shared thousands of times across social media, Payne can be seen opening the shoebox and then promptly bursting into tears.

“It’s more than a pair of shoes, it’s about doing things to build everyone up around you,” said Payne. “I try to show my kids this and I think the lesson has sunk in for many, in turn, reaffirming my purpose and my ideals.”

(WATCH the tear-jerking video below)

“We are the World” Blogfest” aims to spread the message of light, hope and love in today’s world. We are challenging all participants to share the positive side of humanity. This month’s co-hosts, Sylvia McGrath, Lizbeth Hartz, Shilpa Garg, Mary Giese, and Belinda Witzenhausen welcome participants and encourage all to join in during future months. #WATWB comes on the last Friday of every month. Click HERE for more information. You are always welcome to join in!You can find more stories of hope, light, and love on the WATWB Facebook Page. Click HERE to be part of the Light.

Men & Womens Health

Friday Quote

January 31, 2020 Looking for the Light2 Comments

” IF WE HAVE A PULSE, WE HAVE A PURPOSE.”

Unknown

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

Can A Spine Stimulator Stop Chronic Pain?

January 28, 2020January 29, 2020 Looking for the Light7 Comments

After working with a Pain Management doctor for six months he’s determined I’m a good candidate for a Spine Stimulator. It works by leads placed in your mid-back attached to the implanted stimulation device, the stimulation disrupts the pain signals to the brain thus relieving the pain. I had my psychological evaluation yesterday and now waiting for insurance approval. My hope is to have the trial surgery in early February.

Melinda

Men & Womens Health

#Weekend Music Share

January 25, 2020 Looking for the Light7 Comments

I’m so glad you stopped by today. I appreciate you and so glad to be a part of your day. Melinda

Men & Womens Health

“#SoSC” Prompt for Week is “last call”

January 25, 2020March 19, 2020 Looking for the Light7 Comments

StreamOfConsciousnessQuaintRevival2019

Your prompt for #JusJoJan and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “last call.” Talk about the enterprise (sales or service) conducted by the last phone call you received from a business you’re not associated with (i.e. your workplace), or talk about that phone conversation itself. Have fun!

There was a time when “last call” was a total bummer and often meant an end to a fun night of drinking. After 15 years of sobriety and not being in a bar at that hour the prompt “last call” didn’t get any reaction. There is a famous sale at Neiman Marcus called Last Call and you know about even if you don’t shop there.

It’s a great time to pick through all the high end goods looking for that can’t pass up buy. I find myself looking for the diamond in the rough at below cost prices. Like most retail it’s not really a “last call’ it’s more of a siren to pull shoppers in.

Have a great weekend. Thanks for reading, I appreciate you.

Melinda

Join us for the fun and sharing good media stories.

For more on the Stream of Consciousness Saturday, visit Linda Hill’s blog. Here’s the link:https://lindaghill.com

Here are the rules for SoCS:

Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.
Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.
There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.
Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours. Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.
Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.
Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!
As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.
Have fun!

Celebrate Life · Fun

Friday Quote

January 24, 2020 Looking for the LightLeave a comment

Men & Womens Health

Here’s the truth about CBD, from a cannabis researcher

January 23, 2020 Looking for the LightLeave a comment

IDEAS.TED.COM

Sep 23, 2019 / Jeffrey Chen, MD

iStock

Is CBD a cure-all — or snake oil? Jeffrey Chen, executive director of the UCLA Cannabis Research Initiative, explains the science behind the cannabis product.

CBD gummies. CBD shots in your latte. CBD dog biscuits. From spas to drug stores, supermarkets to cafes, wherever you go in the US today, you’re likely to see products infused with CBD. There are cosmetics, vape pens, pills and, of course, the extract itself; there are even CBD-containing sexual lubricants for women which aim to reduce pelvic pain or enhance sensation. CBD has been hailed by some users as having cured their pain, anxiety, insomnia, depression or seizures, and it’s been touted by advertisers as a supplement that can treat all of the above and combat aging and chronic disease.

As Executive Director of the UCLA Cannabis Research Initiative, I’m dedicated to unearthing the scientific truth — the good and the bad — behind cannabis and CBD. My interest was sparked in 2014 when I was a medical student at UCLA, and I discovered a parent successfully treating her child’s severe epilepsy with CBD. I was surprised and intrigued. Despite California legalizing medical cannabis in 1996, we weren’t taught anything about cannabis or CBD in med school. I did research and found other families and children like Charlotte Figi reporting success with CBD, and I knew it was something that needed to be investigated. I established Cannabis Research Initiative in the fall of 2017, and today we have more than 40 faculty members across 18 departments and 8 schools at UCLA working on cannabis research, education and patient-care projects.

So what exactly is CBD and where does it come from? CBD is short for cannabidiol, one of the compounds in the cannabinoid family which, in nature, is found only in the cannabis plant (its official scientific name is Cannabis sativa l.). THC — short for tetrahydrocannabinoid — is the other highly abundant cannabinoid present in cannabis that’s used today. THC and CBD exert their effects in part by mimicking or boosting levels of endocannabinoids, chemical compounds that are naturally produced by humans and found throughout our bodies. Endocannabinoids play an important role in regulating mood, memory, appetite, stress, sleep, metabolism, immune function, pain sensation, and reproduction.

Despite the fact that they’re both cannabinoids found only in the cannabis plant, THC and CBD are polar opposites in many ways. THC is intoxicatingand responsible for the “high” of cannabis, but CBD has no such effect. THC is addictive; CBD is not addictive and even appears to have some anti-addictive effects against compounds like opioids. While THC stimulates the human appetite, CBD does not. There are areas where they overlap — in preliminary animal studies, THC and CBD exhibit some similar effects, including pain-relieving and anti-inflammatory properties and anti-oxidant and neuroprotective effects. In some early research, they’ve even shown the ability to inhibit the growth of cancer cells, but years of rigorous studies need to be conducted before we’ll know whether they have the same impact on humans.

Even though humans have been using cannabis for thousands of years, the products available today are not the cannabis that has traditionally been consumed. After cannabis was prohibited at the federal level in 1970 by the US Controlled Substances Act, illicit growers were incentivized to breed strains that had higher amounts of THC, so they could increase their profits without needing larger growing spaces. What they didn’t know was that by driving up THC content, they were dramatically reducing the CBD content. In 1995, after decades of surreptitious breeding, the ratio of THC to CBD was ~15:1, and by 2014 the ratio had jumped to ~80:1 as CBD content further plummeted.

Due to decades of research restrictions in the US and growers’ focus on THC, there are very few human studies that look at CBD and its effects. The strongest evidence we have is that CBD can reduce the frequency of seizures in certain rare pediatric disorders — so much that a CBD-based drug called Epidiolex was FDA-approved in 2018 for this purpose. There is also preliminary human data from small clinical trials with dozens of subjects that suggests CBD may have the potential to be used for conditions like anxiety, schizophrenia, opioid addiction, and Parkinson’s disease. But please note that the participants in these studies generally received several hundreds of milligrams of CBD a day, meaning the 5mg to 25mg of CBD per serving in popular CBD products may likely be inadequate. And even if you took dozens of servings to reach the dosage used in these clinical trials, there is still no guarantee of benefit because of how preliminary these findings are.

But while there is a lack of concrete and conclusive evidence about CBD’s effects, there is considerable hope. Recent legislative changes around hemp and CBD in the US and across the world have enabled numerous human clinical trials to begin, investigating the use of CBD for conditions such as autism, chronic pain, mood disorders, alcohol use disorder, Crohn’s disease, graft-versus-host-disease, arthritis and cancer- and cancer-treatment-related side effects such as nausea, vomiting and pain. The results of these studies should become available over the next five years.

Furthermore, in an effort to protect consumers, the FDA has announced that it will soon issue and enforce regulations on all CBD products. Buyers should beware because the products being sold today may contain contaminants or have inaccurately labelled CBD content — due to the deluge of CBD products on the market, government agencies haven’t been able to react quickly enough so there is currently no regulation in the US whatsoever on CBD products.

While CBD appears to be generally safe, it still has side effects. In children suffering from severe epilepsy, high doses of CBD have caused reactions such as sleepiness, vomiting and diarrhea. However, we don’t know if this necessarily applies to adults using CBD because these children were very sick and on many medications, and the equivalent dose for an average 154-pound adult would be a whopping 1400 mg/day. And while CBD use in the short term (from weeks to months) has been shown to be safe, we have no data on what side effects might be present with chronic use (from months to years).

Right now, the most significant side effect of CBD we’ve seen is its interaction with other drugs. CBD impacts how the human liver breaks down other drugs, which means it can elevate the blood levels of other prescription medications that people are taking — and thus increase the risk of experiencing their side effects. And women who are pregnant or who are expecting to be should be aware of this: We don’t know if CBD is safe for the fetus during pregnancy.

So where does this leave us? Unfortunately, outside of certain rare pediatric seizure disorders, we scientists do not have solid data on whether CBD can truly help the conditions that consumers are flocking to it for — conditions like insomnia, depression and pain. And even if it did, we still need to figure out the right dose and delivery form. Plus, CBD is not without side effects. Here’s the advice that I give to my friends and family: If you’re using CBD (or thinking about using it), please research products and talk to your doctor so they can monitor you for side effects and interactions with any other drugs you take.

So is CBD a panacea or a placebo? The answer is: Neither. CBD is an under-investigated compound that has the potential to benefit many conditions. While it does have side effects, it appears as if it could be a safer alternative to highly addictive drugs such as opioids or benzodiazepines. And thanks to a recent surge in research, we’ll be learning a lot more about its capabilities and limits in the next five years.

Watch his TEDxPershingSq talk now:

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Jeffrey Chen, MD , is the founder and Executive Director of the UCLA Cannabis Research Initiative where he leads an interdisciplinary group of 40+ UCLA faculty conducting cannabis related research, education and patient care. You can follow him @drjeffchen or visit his website http://www.drjeffchen.com.

Celebrate Life

There’s an art to happy memories — you can make more by experiencing more “first”s

January 23, 2020 Looking for the Light2 Comments

IDEAS.TED.COM

Jan 14, 2020 / Meik Wiking

Jared Oriel

Studies show we’re better at remembering the novel and the new, so let’s use this tendency to add to our storehouse of memorable and meaningful moments, says happiness expert Meik Wiking.

Ask any older person to recall some of their memories, and there’s a good chance they will tell you stories from when they were between the ages of 15 and 30. This is known as the reminiscence effect, or reminiscence bump.

Memory research is sometimes conducted by using cue words. If I say the word “dog,” what memory comes to mind? Or “book’? Or “grapefruit’? It’s best to use words that are not related to a certain period in life. For instance, the phrase “driver’s license” is more likely to prompt memories from when you were a specific age than the word “lamp.”

In studies, when participants were shown a series of cue words and asked about the memories they associate with those words and how old they were at the time of the memory, their responses will typically produce a curve with a characteristic shape, the reminiscence bump. The recency effect — a final upward flip of the curve — can usually be seen, too. For example, when asked what memory comes to mind when cued with the word “book,” what people have read recently may pop up more easily than what they read 10 years ago.

You can also see the reminiscence effect in some autobiographies, where adolescence and early adulthood are described over a disproportionate number of pages. If you look at Agatha Christie’s autobiography, which is 544 pages long, the death of her mother happens on page 346, when Christie was 33. In the period that covers the reminiscence bump in her life, memories fill more than 10 pages per year. In contrast, she sums up the events of 1945 to 1965, when she was aged between 55 and 75, in just 23 pages — a little over one page per year.

What do you remember about being 21, or from another year? And how do your memories from different decades compare?

One theory behind the reminiscence bump is that our teens and early adulthood years are our defining years, our formative years. Our identity and sense of self is developing at that time, and some studies suggest that experiences linked to who we see ourselves as are more frequently retold in explaining who we are and are therefore remembered better later in life.

One study found that 73 percent of people’s vivid memories were either first-time experiences or unique events.

Another theory is that the period involves a lot of firsts. Our first kiss, our first flat, our first job. In the Happy Memory Study we conducted at the Happiness Research Institute, we found that 23 percent of people’s memories were of novel or extraordinary experiences.

Novelty ensures durability when it comes to memory. Several studies show that we are better at remembering the novel and the new, the extraordinary days when we did something different. One study by British researchers Gillian Cohen and Dorothy Faulkner found that 73 percent of vivid memories were either first-time experiences or unique events. Extraordinary and novel experiences are subject to greater elaborative cognitive processing, which leads to better encoding of these memories. That is the power of firsts. Extraordinary days are memorable days.

The importance of firsts also means that, say, if you go to university, you are more likely to remember events from the beginning of your first year than later in that same year. In a study led by David Pillemer, professor of psychology at the University of New Hampshire, participants were asked to describe memories from their freshman year in college. “We are not interested in any particular type of experience,” said the researchers, “just describe the first memories that come to mind.” The researchers interviewed women who had graduated 2, 12 or 22 years ago from Wellesley College in Massachusetts.

In the second part of the study, participants were asked to analyze, one by one, each of the memories they had described earlier. The memories were rated on the intensity of the emotions the experience involved, the impact the event had on their life (both at the time of the memory and also in retrospect), and the estimated date of the experience they remembered.

The study showed that the majority of memories took place at the beginning of the academic year: around 40 percent in the month of September and around 16 percent in October. These results suggest that transitional and emotional experiences are especially likely to persist in the memory for many years. That is the power of firsts.

In our study, we also found evidence of the power of extraordinary days and novel experiences when it comes to happy memories. That is why I remember every first kiss I’ve ever had — including the very first.

In our study, we also found evidence of the power of extraordinary days and novel experiences when it comes to happy memories. More than 5 percent of all the happy memories we collected are explicitly about firsts. First dates, first kisses, first steps — or traveling alone to Italy at the age of 60 for the first time. The first job, the first dance performance or the first time you watched a movie in the cinema with your dad.

That is why I remember every first kiss I’ve ever had — including the very first. Her name was Kristy and I was 16 and scared of her dad, who was a professional rugby player.

If you want to create a night to remember for dinner guests, serving them something they have not tasted before might do the trick.

New and memorable experiences can also come in the form of food. I was 16 when I first tasted a mango. It was in 1994, I was an exchange student in Australia, and mangoes had not yet been introduced to supermarkets in Denmark, where I grew up.

I remember the sweetness, the texture. I remember thinking, “Where have you been all my life?” Since then, I have been chasing mangoes — other great food experiences out there which I have not yet had. I have tried fermented Icelandic shark and snails in a street market in Morocco. Both made me throw up a little, but I remember those moments quite vividly.

My point is that firsts can come in the shape of gastronomy. If you want to create a night to remember for your dinner guests, serving them something they have not tasted before might do the trick (but maybe not fermented shark, if you want them to come again). Ideally, it would be something that is not over and done with in a second, like a shot of licorice vodka at 3 AM. Nobody remembers that — for several reasons.

Better to go with something like an artichoke, which takes a bit of an effort to eat, as you have to peel each leaf off, dip it in salted butter, then use your teeth to harvest that wonderful flesh. This makes the whole experience longer lasting and multisensory.

It might also be the reason why life seems to speed up as we get older. When we’re in our teens, there are a lot of firsts, while firsts at age 50 are rarer. This is also why studies find that people who immigrated from a Spanish-speaking country to the US have their reminiscence bump at different times, depending on how old they were at the time of the move. Temporal landmarks of firsts and changes of scene play an important role in organizing autobiographical memory. There is a before and an after.

If we want life to slow down, to make moments memorable and our lives unforgettable, we may want to remember to harness the power of firsts. In our daily routines, it’s also an idea to consider how we can turn the ordinary into something more extraordinary in order to stretch the river of time. It may be little things. If you always eat in front of the television, it might make the day feel a little more extraordinary if you gather for a family dinner around a candlelit table—and if you are always eating candlelit dinners, it might be nice to eat dinner during a movie marathon.

Adapted from the new book The Art of Making Memories: How to Create and Remember Happy Moments by Meik Wiking. Published by William Morrow. Copyright © 2019 by Meik Wiking. Reprinted courtesy of HarperCollins Publishers.

Watch his TEDxCopenhagen talk here:

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Meik Wiking is CEO of the Happiness Research Institute, research associate for Denmark at the World Database of Happiness, and founding member of the Latin American Network for Wellbeing and Quality of Life Policies. He is the author of The Little Book of Hygge, and he lives in Copenhagen, Denmark.