Men & Womens Health

Today In History June 20th

Thanks for stopping by today, I appreciate you. Have an awesome day! M

Photo by Andrey Grushnikov on Pexels.com

 

1893

Following a sensational Massachusetts murder trial, Lizzie Borden, 32, is cleared of charges that she killed her father and stepmother with multiple blows from a hatchet. Borden will never shake off the notoriety, however, inspiring a gruesome folk rhyme still sung today.

1947

A drive-by shooter unloads nine rounds through the front window of a Beverly Hills home, instantly killing notorious gangster Bugsy Siegel. A founder of the small but promising Las Vegas casino scene, the pal of movie stars and moguls, and head of the Mafia’s west coast syndicate, is dead at 41.

1975

Twenty-nine-year-old Steven Spielberg’s second movie faced myriad production problems, including budget overruns and mechanical snafus in the title character, but ‘Jaws‘ makes waves at ticket counters, chewing up previous box office records, and launching the summer blockbuster era.

Birthdays

Nicole Kidman  1967

Nicole Mary Kidman AC is an Australian-American actress and producer.

Lionel Richie  1949

Lionel Brockman Richie Jr. is an American singer, songwriter, actor, and record producer.

Brian Wilson. 1942

Brian Douglas Wilson is an American musician, singer, songwriter, and record producer who co-founded the Beach Boys.

Moving Forward

Change.org New Bill to protect LGBTQ

Please visit Change.org to see the original petition to sign.

hot air balloon photo
Photo by Skitterphoto on Pexels.com

Change.org

Melinda — A new bill in Congress would be the first national nondiscrimination law for LGBTQ Americans. If it passes, those in the LGBTQ community would no longer have to worry about losing their jobs because of who they are. Mark decided to start this petition because he sees this as a fight for basic civil rights. Sign now to stand with Mark and put pressure on lawmakers to pass the Equality Act.
U.S. House of Representatives: Pass the Equality Act
Petition by Mark Lester
Dublin, CA, United States
1,810
Supporters

 

A bill was just introduced that would modify existing civil rights legislation that bans employment, housing, public accommodation, jury service, education, federal programs, and credit discrimination against LGBTQ+ people.

Even today, in most states, a gay couple can get married, post a photo on social media, and get fired from their jobs for it.

This new bill would add “gender identity” and “sexual orientation” to the classes protected by the Civil Rights Act of 1964. The 1964 act doesn’t protect discrimination against all protected classes in retail stores, emergency shelters, banks, transit, and pharmacies. This bill would update that.

If this bill were to be signed into law, it would be the first national nondiscrimination law for LGBTQ Americans. That is monumental.

More than a third of LGBTQ Americans live in the south, but there are no LGBTQ anti-discrimination laws in the south.

By enacting the Equality Act, those LGBTQ people living in the south would be protected. They wouldn’t have to worry about losing their jobs for being who they are.

If you believe in LGBTQ+ rights, sign and share this petition now.

Men & Womens Health

Insect Repellent Spray With Essential Oils

Photo by Mike on Pexels.com

 

Willow & Sage from Stampington

 

You will need

 

1/2 cup vinegar

1/2 cup witch hazel

1/4 cup distilled water

1 TB. rubbing alcohol

20 drops eucalyptus essential oil

20 drops lemongrass essential oil

10 drops cedarwood essential oil

10 drops rosemary essential oil

10 drops peppermint/spearmint essential oil

Glass spray bottle 8 oz.

To Make

Add all ingredients together in a glass spray bottle in the order listed above, leaving essential oils to go in last. Shake to combine. Try to use an amber glass bottle if possible to prevent the sun from penetrating the oils inside, which could lessen their potency. Keep Bottle out of direct sunlight and somewhere cool.

Men & Womens Health

5 interview questions that will help you hire better people

IDEAS.TED.com

Aug 3, 2017 / Julia Fawal

Most employers are approaching job interviews all wrong, says business consultant Anthony Tjan. To identify the candidates who have substance and not just smarts, here are better questions to ask.

While the number of questions that can be asked on a job interview are infinite, almost all of them fall into one of two categories: questions about competency or questions about character. Competency questions are aimed at establishing a person’s skills, abilities and qualifications; character questions are intended to illuminate their intrinsic values and personality. Even though both types of questions are important, “we’re biased to the competency side,” says Anthony Tjan, a business consultant and CEO of the Cue Ball Group, a Boston-based venture capital firm. “And we’re neglecting important attributes like truth, compassion and wisdom.”

“What are your greatest weaknesses?” is a commonly asked character question, but it’s a bust. The interviewer often feels obliged to ask because the answer, if honest, could be valuable. But in reality, the usual responses — “I’m too detail-oriented,” “I work too hard” and “I care too much” — are rehearsed, predictable and disingenuous. And while candidates are aware that they’re not being helpful or truthful when they make such statements, they’re also afraid to reveal their true flaws.

Companies need to figure out ways to evaluate the character of potential hires. Tjan, who is also the author of the book Good People: The Only Leadership Decision That Really Matters, believes screening for traits like integrity, humility, gratitude and self-awareness are the key to job satisfaction and success. “No elements matter more than people and values for long-term competitive advantage,” he explains. “And they’re critical towards developing the purpose and meaning behind any organization.” So employers should strive to ask questions that can’t be answered with generalities or cliches.

Character question no. 1: “What are the one or two traits from your parents that you most want to ensure you and your kids have for the rest of your life?” The goal is to create a conversation that leads to a revelation, not a rehearsal, says Tjan. This question calls for a bit more thought on the applicant’s end and sheds light on the things they most value. After hearing the person’s initial response, Tjan says you should immediately follow up with “Can you tell me more?” This is essential if you want to elicit an answer with real depth and substance. And while you may be tempted to fill in a person’s silences, “be comfortable with a pregnant pause,” says Tjan. “Being patient and allowing them to share tends to lead to better answers.”

Character question no. 2: “What is 25 times 25?” Tjan wants to see how people react under real-time pressure, and their response can show you how they’ll approach challenging or awkward situations. Do they get defensive, ashamed or even angry? Or are they open-minded and willing to work at the problem? And if a candidate gives up or blurts out the wrong answer, Tjan likes to ask them to approach the question from a different angle: “Imagine instead that you have 25 quarters in your pocket — how much does that add up to?” This isn’t about checking whether someone’s good at mental math, he explains. “It’s about whether they can roll with the embarrassment and discomfort and work with me. When a person is in a job, they’re not always going to be in situations that are in their alley.”

Character question no. 3: “Tell me about three people whose lives you positively changed. What would they say if I called them tomorrow?” Checking references is generally a waste of time, asserts Tjan. Of course, they’ll have been selected and primed to brag about a candidate. Instead, he thinks it’s more informative to find out about the people whom an applicant has personally helped. It doesn’t have to be a coworker; it could be a relative, classmate, neighbor or friend. Organizations need employees who can lift each other up. “And if a candidate can’t think of a single person, I want to understand why,” Tjan says. He credits much of his success to relationships — both as mentor and as mentee — that he’s had in his life. When a person is naturally inclined toward compassionate mentorship, it can have a domino effect in an institution. “I’ve learned that it’s those types of people that cause organizations to be different,” he adds.

Character question no. 4: After an interview, ask yourself (and other team members, if relevant) “Can I imagine taking this person home with me for the holidays?” This may seem overly personal, but “you are trying to develop a relationship with them,” says Tjan. And even though you haven’t spent that much time with the person, you’ll usually have a gut reaction to this question. “When I ask this of colleagues, I get much more visceral yes/no responses than when I go through a competency checklist,” he says.

Character question no. 5: After an interview, ask security or the receptionist: “How was the candidate’s interaction with you?” Be conscious of how people treat strangers — it speaks to whether they act with compassion and openness and view others as equals. Tjan knows about one company where interviewers ask security to delay a candidate for up to 10 minutes to see their reaction. “But I don’t know if I would go that far,” he adds.

Hiring good people goes beyond corporate success. Staffing an organization with people of substance is about more than just improving your retention rate and bottom line, says Tjan. It can have ripple effects as your employees interact in the world, although this impact might be hard to detect and measure. And while the character questions here are intended to be used in job interviews, we’d all benefit from asking: “What role can I play in being a positive influence on others?”

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Julia Fawal is the Social Content Manager at TED.

Health and Wellbeing

Caregiver to Grieving in Four Days

Each day was a roller coaster by how he felt and how exhausted I was. I learned so much being a caregiver to my grandmother and grandfather. As the population ages many of you will take on the responsibility. One of the most difficult changes was going from granddaughter to caregiver. Even at 92 my grandfather had a strong mind and felt he didn’t need help. I prayer for strength everyday.

My grandfather died in 2010 at the young age of 92 years old. I spent more time with him 2010 year than I spent at home. I cherish the time we had together, no matter how painful. They are my memories and my life changed forever with his death. His health declined so fast that for two days I did not realize that he was dying now, not in a couple of weeks. He was at home under hospice care and would not get in the hospital bed until two days before he passed. He fell out of bed that morning, he was so weak it was difficult for me to get him back in bed. I don’t think we would have been able to talk him into moving to the hospital bed if he had not fallen. For him the bed meant death and he was still fighting. My grandfather had End Stage Kidney Disease. An emergency trip to the hospital for his AFIB is how we learned he had about two months to live. We knew his kidneys were losing function but I was not ready for a timeline. His doctor had not given me that impression on a recent visit so I asked her to review the hospital records. I was not surprised but very saddened that she agreed with the prognosis. It took a couple weeks for my grandfather to believe the doctors were right. Kidney failure is a silent killer and luckily not a painful one. You start sleeping more until you sleep yourself into a coma.

I arrived on Sunday afternoon after two days of relief and he didn’t look any different. Monday morning I knew he was out of it by the things he was saying but thought it was a bad day. Tuesday I knew he was weak when he fell out of bed and felt like dead weight. It took everything in me to get him back in bed. My grandfather died on Thursday. What the doctors did not tell me is people his age die faster, the end came weeks sooner than we thought. I’m so thankful that my grandfather and I had time together to say what we wanted to say, cry for the loss and enjoy the memories. I have no regrets.

Cleaning out the house was so hard, 46 years of memories everywhere. My grandmother left notes on everything, it was like mourning her death as I found each note. Notes on back of photos, on little pieces of paper and even masking tape. I knew all the notes were there, we had looked at them many times but it was different this time. Everything being packed up this time and the house cleared out. My grandparents raised me so I’ve lost parents, they were the best you could ever pray for.  The house is empty but I see my life in every room, the great memories with my grandparents are everywhere you look. I am starting a new chapter in my life. It’s a long  journey ahead.

Xx   M

Men & Womens Health

Caregiver 101 Tips I Missed

Reblogged from 2009

I care for my 92-year-old gramps and have been here five weeks. He had three surgeries in seven days. Without Caregiving 101 training, I learned the hard way.

*Ask the doctor what happens if the  procedure does not work.

*If a second procedure does not work, is there a third option.

*What is the recovery time and type of home health services needed.

*Is the surgery necessary for a 92-year-old who is already dying!

Gramps went in for non-invasive surgery, nothing prepared me for the outcome. I’ve been through several surgeries with gramps. This procedure had not been performed before however it sounded like the least complicated procedure to date. I forgot nothing is normal or non-invasive at 92 years old. We went from going home that afternoon, to having three surgeries over seven days. I made the mistake of thinking the procedure would go as in the past. Age makes all the difference, five years at this stage of Kidney Failure can change everything.

I’m blessed to spend this time with gramps, we still have a long road ahead. It is emotional and life changing. I’ve become the parent and he doesn’t like me telling him when to take his medicine. He has raised his voice more in the past month than in my lifetime. It’s hard to take it in stride, just bite tongue. Stress has triggered my depression, I struggle to keep myself in check and take care of my gramps.

 

Xx  M   aka Warrior

Health and Wellbeing

Lost in Caregiver Twilight Zone

Written on 12/21/2009

I’m caring for my 92-year-old grandfather following three surgeries in seven days. I’m so tired it’s numbing, it’s impossible to think about doing it again tomorrow.  My grandfather is a man of habits driven by the time of day, maybe from his military background. One morning he was upset when the hospital had not brought his coffee and could not see he was the problem. We’re in a hospital not the Hilton. At home it was far worse. It does not matter that I have changed the sheets again this morning, changed his soiled underpants more than once and got him dressed for the day. If the coffee is not ready when he expects or I don’t have the newspaper yet, I hear about it. My grandparents raised me and I love my grandfather dearly but it’s hard to bite my tongue. I want to ask doesn’t he realize or care that I’ve been moving since 5:00 a.m. to take care of him.

At 92 he lives at home alone, still drives (very limited), buys groceries and goes to the local Senior Center several times a week to play dominos. He amazes me with each year. He is the healthiest dying person I know and in his mind he is much younger and more capable. This makes it impossible for him to understand recovery will take several more weeks at least. I catch him doing things he shouldn’t and I get the standard “I can do it”.  He also acts like a child when he doesn’t want to do something, most of the time it’s taking his medicine or getting up to move around.

I push him gently but firmly to get up and move around. Laying in bed or sleeping in the chair all day will not improve his strength. Like all of us, he does not like being told what to do. You learn what you’re made of in stressful times. Our mind and bodies can withstand so much to help someone we love. All I know is tomorrow is a new day.

I grew up in this house and it feels strange to stay in my old bedroom at 46. The house built in 1950, is in the hood, has no dishwasher, Internet or privacy. I am going crazy without my Internet escape. I’m in the twilight zone, washing dishes by hand three times a day and the room is the same since leaving home in 1981. Tomorrow is a new day.

Men & Womens Health

I’m Mourning and She’s Still Alive

My grandmother passed away with Dementia from two strokes in 2005. I’m reposting for the caregivers dealing with a loved one with Alzheimer’s or Dementia. For those who have not been a caregiver, these post may help you down the road. For the caregivers who give every ounce of energy, just one piece of advice if I may. Take time to clear your head, 10 or 30 minutes whatever you can for yourself each week. I did not have any one to offer suggestions and had brain drain after both of their deaths. My body was physically broken down. Due to the nature of the illness, it’s hard to take an eye off them, 24/7. I was fortunate we had hospice care for both of my grandparents. My grandfather was healthy enough to help with my grandmother. I don’t know how to turn my brain off.

I’m Morning and She’s Still Alive

As the caregiver for my grandparents, my hands are full yet my mind runs at a high level by switching to what I call “caregiver mode”. I can manage tons of information about what drugs they take, schedule appointments, discuss test results or anything else needed to take care of two people who are dying and “switch back” when at home.

Before the fall and broken hip, my grandmother knew me. Our conversations limited yet sharing memories with her made my day. She really enjoyed a photo book I put together with many photos of her beloved dog, Blackie. Thinking about Blackie always made her smile, even though he died twenty years ago she remembers him like it was today.

On the way to their house, last week tears started rolling down my face, I could not stop crying. It took a few minutes to figure out what was causing so much pain. My mind had switched from caregiver to granddaughter and realized my grandmother no longer knew me. We would not share our memories again. I knew the day would come and say prayers for the memories we shared. The realization was much harder to accept. I am in mourning and miss my grandmother so much.

Xx  M

Men & Womens Health

#Weekend Music Share

I’ve had a rough week physically, my Fribomyalgia has set in from the hips down. I’m in the mood for a fun song, I’m picking one of my favorite country artist Blake Shelton. Have a great weekend. Be Safe. M

Welcome back to Weekend Music Share; the place where everyone can share their favourite music.

Feel free to use the ‘Weekend Music Share‘ banner in your post, and don’t forget to use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.

Men & Womens Health

Homeade Orange Cream Milk Bath

Willow and Sage by Stampington

Photo by Dana Tentis on Pexels.com

You will need

Yields 2 jars

1 cup powdered milk

1/4 cup baking soda

1/4 cup cornstarch

11-12 drops orange essential oil

Glass jars

Sharpie

Kraft labels: round

Baker’s twine

To Make

Mix all the ingredients together and scoop into glass jars with tight fitting lids.

Write a label for the top and tie a pretty piece of baker’s twine around jar.

Pour about 3/4 cup of the mix into the bath under running water to disolve.

Enjoy!

Men & Womens Health

Today In History June 13

Photo by Andrey Grushnikov on Pexels.com

 

 

I’m having a rough day and haven’t included birthdays. Thanks for stopping by today and have a great weekend.  M

 

1777

Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette, disembarks in America after a two-month sea voyage from France. The wealthy 19-year-old will befriend future presidents Washington and Jefferson, and help train and lead revolutionary regiments against the British in America’s War of Independence.

1967

Stating it’s “the right thing to do, the right time to do it, the right man and the right place,” President Lyndon Johnson nominates Solicitor General Thurgood Marshall to the US Supreme Court. The first African American nominee will be confirmed and serve 24 years on the court.

1971

The first excerpt of a leaked government report detailing US involvement in Vietnam is published on the front page of the New York Times. The top-secret ‘Pentagon Papers‘ will expose secret bombing campaigns, government lies, and motivations behind the Vietnam War never before revealed to the public.

 

 

Men & Womens Health

Chronic Pain: Swimming Therapy

 

Most people don’t think of Mental Illness when discussing Chronic Pain. Mental Illness can be physically debilitating with many spending large amounts of time in bed. For someone like me who is challenged by both, daily life can be difficult. Today I’m in bed juggling my laptop on one knee trying to avoid the pain screaming on the left side of my body.

Pool Shade

Over the holiday weekend my husband installed a pool shade so I can swim and get exercise without burning to a crisp lobster. They are very inexpensive and easy to install. He bought the sail on Amazon for less than $50.

One of the therapies the Pain Management doctor suggested was swimming and water exercises. Every other day I spend 30-45 minutes with my water noodle paddling around and doing basic exercises. I have noticed a difference in the muscles not used in ages.

I work on my shoulders by doing wide arm paddling, leg scissors for my back and hips, tiptoes for calves, stretching my back out till it hurts, and lunges. After spending years in bed I’m building stamina for the good days ahead.

Doing exercises in the water puts less resistance on the body which can help injuries. I’m rehabilitating my knee and it’s much easier than walking up and down the stairs repeatedly.

It helps my mental health by getting away from all the noise, I watch the butterflies and see how my flowers are growing. I work on meditating to keep my head clear. I’m also getting Vitamin D from the sun.

M

 

Men & Womens Health

Pain Warriors

As Ambassador for U.S. Pain Foundation I want to share the latest news on a meeting offered by U.S. Pain Foundation and Coilition for Headache and Migranes Patients. Melinda Sandor Ambassador-Texas U.S. Pain Foundation.

Dear pain warriors, 
Those with chronic pain, including migraine and headache disorders, can have an especially tough time finding a doctor they click with. Have you ever wanted to find a way to better communicate with your doctor, get the most out of your visits, and maximize your treatment plan?
If yes, please join us this Thursday, June 13, at 7 pm ESTfor an intimate conversation between neurologist and headache specialist Abby Chua, DO, and patient advocate Katie Golden. Dr. Chua and Katie will discuss what patients and doctors can learn from one another, and offer tips for interacting.
Dr. Chua is a headache specialist at Hartford HealthCare Headache Center in Connecticut. She also is program director of their Headache and Facial Pain Fellowship Program, one of the few such programs in the country. Dr. Chua brings a special level of compassion to her practice as a person living with vestibular migraine, and advocates tirelessly on behalf of patients.

Katie lives with chronic migraine disease, and has emerged as a leading voice for the patient community. She is the Migraine Advocacy Liaison for U.S. Pain Foundation and a member of the steering committee for CHAMP. She was the recipient of the Impact Award 2017 for the Association of Migraine Disorders and writes frequently for migraine-related news sites, including www.migraine.com and her personal blog, www.goldengrain.com
Register for June 13
For more ways to get involved (and more events!), visit the official MHAM homepage. If you have questions, please reply to this email.
Sincerely,
Nicole HemmenwayInterim CEOU.S. Pain Foundation
P.S. Don’t miss our other event with Lindsay Weitzel, PhD, migraine strategist, on Facebook Live June 19!

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

This NBA Superstar Used 2 (Surprising) Words to Teach a Valuable Lesson in Emotional Intelligence

By Justin BarisoFounder, Insight

It’s rare for professional athletes to admit weakness. It’s even rarer for them to do this.

As the Toronto Raptors and Golden State Warriors continue their slugfest to determine the NBA’s 2019 champion, one player is already preparing for next season:

The Milwaukee Bucks’ Giannis Antetokounmpo.

Not that long ago it appeared that Antetokounmpo and the Bucks would be playing the Warriors for this year’s championship. The Bucks had cruised through the playoffs, and were up two games to zero against the Toronto Raptors.

But the Raptors went on to win the next four games in a row–a remarkable feat considering the Bucks hadn’t lost three games in a row the entire season.

The Raptors managed to defeat the Bucks by tooling their defense to focus on stopping the young team’s star (who’s affectionately known as “the Greek Freak” due to his Athens upbringing and monstrous athletic prowess).

In a recent interview with The Athletic, Antetokounmpo acknowledged that Raptors players Kawhi Leonard and Marc Gasol gave him particular trouble. Giannis admitted that now the series is over, “every day in his head,” he continues to see Gasol and Leonard coming at him.

Then, Antetokounmpo went on to say something remarkable to his opponents:

“Thank you. Thank you, because Gasol and Kawhi made me a better player. I’m not trying to be sarcastic. I’m being honest. They’re going to push me to be better.”

“Thank you.”

It’s rare for professional athletes to admit weakness or to credit opposing players for stopping them. It’s even rarer that they thank their opponents.

With these two words, Antetokounmpo revealed evidence of a remarkable and invaluable quality:

The ability to learn from mistakes.

What’s EQ got to do with it?

Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify emotions (in both yourself and others), to recognize the powerful effects of those emotions, and to use that information to inform and guide behavior. In essence, it’s the ability to make emotions work for you, instead of against you.

Failing to reach a goal gives rise to negative emotions like sadness, frustration, even anger.

But feelings like these can help you–if you let them.

For example, when you experience failure, consider there are a few ways to respond:

  • You can move on and pretend the failure never happened.
  • You can sit around and feel sorry for yourself.
  • You can stop and reflect, extracting lessons from the failure to help you grow.

Guess which option is going to make you better?

The key is to treat every mistake as a learning experience.

It helps to find a mentor or coach you can trust, that will help expose your blind spots and provide additional insights. Ask yourself–and your confidants:

  • What problems did my mistake reveal?
  • What can I do differently next time?

Then, use the answers to learn and grow.

It’s true–failure never feels good. 

But instead of dwelling on negative feelings, you can use them–to help you achieve heightened focus, and to provide motivation to make needed changes.

Accomplish this and you’ll begin to see failure, not as the end of the road, but as a stepping stone to bigger and better–much like a certain NBA superstar.

Because remember: Often it’s our opponents, those who point out our weaknesses and flaws, who help us to grow. It’s the ones who challenge us who truly make us better. 

PUBLISHED ON: JUN 4, 2019

Like this column? Sign up to subscribe to email alerts and you’ll never miss a post.The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.

Men & Womens Health

Blair Underwood: Ava Duvernay Made A Grief Counselor Available On The Set Of ‘When They See Us’

HelloBuzz

Shamika Sanders, Sr. Entertainment Editor

Posted May 31, 2019

Blair Underwood

Ava Duvernay was just a teenager when five young Black boys, from Harlem, were arrested and convicted for the rape of a white woman in Central Park on the night of April 19, 1989. So when Raymond Santana, one of the “Central Park 5” sent her a wishful tweet about bringing the Central Park 5 story to the screen, “it meant a lot” to her, she revealed to NPR.

Ava and Netflix’s When They See Us chronicles the events of the Central Park Five case that captivated the nation. The four-part series will span 25 years, taking on the wrongful conviction of the boys, as well as highlight their exoneration in 2002 and the settlement reached with the city of New York in 2014.

Antron McCray, Yusef Salaam, Raymond Santana, Jr., Kevin Richardson and Korey Wise were beaten upon arrest, forced into making false confessions and convicted of a crime they did not commit. They served between seven and 13 years in prison and were later exonerated only to have a convicted murderer, who was serving a life sentence, eventually confess to the crime.

Their story is perfectly aligned with Duvernay’s mission to raise awareness around the injustices of the prison industrial system, which she explored in her critically acclaimed documentary the 13th.

When They See Us stars a stellar cast Michael K. Williams, John Leguizamo, Niecy Nash and Blair Underwood, who opened up to us about this role in the series.

“My character’s name is Robert Burns and I play the defense attorney to one of the, no longer Central Park 5, the Exonerated 5,” he says making a clear distinction.

Burns comes into action in the second hour of the four-hour series. According to Underwood, his character isn’t necessarily “a huge part” of the limited series. Albiet small, the emotional toll of a role like this can’t be underestimated.

“Ava did something I’ve never seen on any project I’ve done. She made a grief counselor available to everyone on the set,” Underwood revealed in a candid conversation. “They were up and running by the time I came to set and I’d get e-mails from production that would say this is a very tough  material. It’s emotional and it dredges up so much in all of us. Especially the young boys recreating these emotions. To be able to say here’s the person to contact if you need any grief counseling is amazing. It’s apart of what we do. It’s our job as actors to bring those emotions to the forefront and let it manifest. People deal with it different ways.”

Underwood said he took several walks to connect with nature after filming. “It’s very deep themes. The thing with this story is there is no distance from history to separate then and now. There’s 30 years logistically but emotionally, how far we’ve come? Theres very little daylight.”

When They See Us is on Netflix now.

Survivor

RAINN Stands with LGBTQ Survivors

RAINN Newsletter

JUN 03, 2019

 

Each June, communities and individuals around the world recognize pride month—a joyful celebration of all genders and sexualities as well as a solemn reminder of the difficulties many lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ) people continue to face.

Sexual violence is an issue that affects all people, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. LGBTQ survivors often encounter many of the same challenges other survivors face, but might also have additional obstacles in accessing legal, medical, and law enforcement resources due to discrimination or lack of understanding.

For LGBTQ survivors who don’t feel comfortable talking about their sexual orientation with friends or family, it can be especially hard to disclose sexual violence.

“The reaction of the first person you tell is extremely important, and can often hinder or facilitate a survivors pathway to healing” says Keeli Sorensen, vice president of victim services, “If someone discloses to you, whether they are LGBTQ or not, the best thing to do is listen, believe them, and don’t judge.”

Read these stories to learn more about how these individuals’ experiences as LGBTQ survivors present many unique challenges—and many shared with other survivors:

  • Hear from Johnathon about healing from drug-facilitated sexual assault as a queer, gender-nonconforming person. “I’ve been told my entire life that it was impossible for this kind of thing to happen to me.” 
  • Learn from Ethan about his experience as a trans-man who experienced intimate partner violence“I truly believe it is possible to call out and prioritize sexual violence against women while also acknowledging that sexual violence affects people of all genders.” 
  • Read more from Eileen about child sexual abuse and delayed trauma as a queer woman. “One thing I struggled with around my eating disorder was feeling ashamed. The fact that I was fixated on my physical appearance made me feel that I was betraying the body positivity in the queer community.” 
  • Read KiloMarie’s story of experiencing a hate crime veiled as “corrective rape.” “I did not realize until much later that these rapes were acts of hate-based violence.” 

RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline is free, confidential, and available 24/7 for all survivors at 800-656-HOPE and online.rainn.org, y en español: rainn.org/es.

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

23andMe Scientist to Present Data on the Genetics of Type 2 Diabetes at American Diabetes Association Conference

June 3, 2019 By 23andMe under 23andMe ResearchEducation

By Eloycsia Ratliff, MPH, 23andMe Medical Education Project Manager

We know that diet and exercise play an important role in a person’s likelihood of developing type 2 diabetes, but what role does genetics play?

That’s a question 23andMe researchers have been investigating, and at a meeting of the American Diabetes Associations (ADA) Annual Conference on June 10th in San Francisco, 23andMe’s Senior Product Scientist, Michael Multhaup, Ph.D., will be presenting some of what we’ve learned in a presentation titled “Polygenic Risk Score Predicts Type 2 Diabetes Susceptibility in a Diverse Consumer Genetic Database.” 

Polygenic Score

Dr. Multhaup’s presentation comes on the heels of the release of 23andMe’s Type 2 Diabetes report (T2D)*  that is currently available to eligible customers who have opted into receiving health reports. The T2D report calculates a polygenic score based on more than 1000 genetic variants. A polygenic score quantifies how an individual’s genetics may contribute to developing a complex disease, such as T2D. For the T2D genetic susceptibility study, 23andMe researchers generated a polygenic score based on more than 1200 variants discovered using data shared by more than 600,000 consented research participants who self-reported if they had been diagnosed with T2D.

Our researchers then tested the performance of the polygenic score in separate sets of participants to cover five different ancestries — African-American, East-Asian, European, Latino and South Asian. Based on the results, 23andMe researchers were able to make associations between an individual’s genetics and their likelihood of developing T2D. Researchers categorized results into “increased likelihood” and “typical likelihood,” where an “increased likelihood” result means the likelihood of developing T2D from genetics alone exceeds the likelihood of developing the condition due to being overweight. 

Presentation of Findings

At the conference, Dr. Multhaup will present findings from this study and he will discuss the use of genetics as a screening tool to inform cost-effective interventions that could be used by both healthcare providers and their patients.

In addition to Dr. Multhaup’s scientific session presentation, 23andMe will host a booth in the exhibit hall (booth #1340) to engage directly with healthcare professionals over the three day conference from June 8th to June 10th. At the meeting, 23andMe plans to discuss with healthcare providers the impact of 23andMe’s health predisposition reports, such as theType 2 Diabetes report, on medicine and routine patient care. It is important for healthcare providers to understand the consumer experience and motivations, as well as available tools and resources, so they are prepared for patient encounters around direct-to-consumer genetic testing.

23andMe believes knowledge about genetic information has a role in improving health outcomes. Our goal in providing consumers with access to their genetic information is to provide insights into their likelihood of developing a condition, like T2D, before they develop that condition. Early access to this information has the potential to motivate individuals to be more proactive in changing health behaviors — a goal 23andMe wants for their consumers.

If you are attending the ADA conference in San Francisco and would like to learn more about the findings from 23andMe’s T2D research study, come to Dr. Multhaup’s presentation at Scientific Session 304-OR, Monday, June 10th 2:30 – 2:45pm. Also, look for us on the exhibition floor at booth #1340!

To stay up to date on health report releases and resources available to healthcare professionals, visit our 23andMe for healthcare professionals site at  https://medical.23andme.com/.

*The 23andMe Type 2 Diabetes report is based on 23andMe research and incorporates more than 1,000 genetic variants to provide information on the likelihood of developing type 2 diabetes.  The report does not account for lifestyle or family history and has not been reviewed by the US Food and Drug Administration. Visit 23andMe’s Type 2 Diabetes landing page for additional important information.

Celebrate Life · Family · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Four Hidden Reasons For Family Drama During Wedding Planning

 It’s not about “bridezillas” or the fight for bigger centerpieces.

The summer wedding season is upon us—the culmination of months or years of planning and executing the day that honors a couple’s legal union. For many couples and their families, these months mean navigating a complex web of logistical decisions tied to culture, religion, money, relationships, and identity. The fight over centerpieces, a stressed out “bridezilla,” or even mundane miscommunications may immediately come to mind as the culprit for inter-family discord during wedding planning, but the fights are typically much deeper. Here are some of the real reasons wedding planning can be so acrimonious and stressful:

The Couple’s Joint Identity and Split Loyalties

When a couple comes together, they merge their experiences, traditions, and values into a life that reflects shared goals and priorities. In the process, they may step away from their original families’ religious, political, financial, geographical, and dietary values. Typically, couples can gloss over or avoid these differences, attending their family’s religious events even if they no longer believe in the tradition or eating before attending a family dinner that doesn’t meet their dietary needs. But during wedding planning, these differences must be negotiated and decisions must be made about what the wedding will look like, leading to hurt feelings. Families may experience the couple’s diverging views with feelings of irrelevance, confusion, alienation, abandonment, or rejection.

Complicating matters, during arguments, each partner may feel loyal both to their future spouse and their family. When a future spouse and a parent disagree about the religious nature of the ceremony, for example, the partner may feel compelled to both defend their parents and defend their partner. In that process, somebody’s feelings can get hurt. Weddings force couples to draw lines in the sand and declare their loyalty to one another while managing delicate family ties.

Whose Wedding Is It, Anyway?

Perhaps it seems obvious that a wedding should reflect the choices and preferences of the couple getting married. But if the members of a couple come from different religious backgrounds, ethnic cultures, geographical regions, socio-economic classes, or culinary traditions, the question of “whom should this wedding reflect” will almost certainly emerge and create tension. Should the day reflect the couples’ wishes and beliefs, even if they diverge from those of their families? Should one family expect the wedding to reflect their own needs and values? When the wedding cannot reflect everybody, who takes priority, and does that change based on who is paying for the wedding—one or both sets of parents, or the couple themselves? Some weddings more closely resemble the desires and preferences of parents while others focus more on the couple’s vision for the day. Many couples and their families try to work together to incorporate important cultural elements to create a sense of inclusion and respect, but parsing out those details can lead to many arguments and hurt feelings.

Fear of Judgement and Community Perception

The question of whom the wedding reflects may be tied not only to a family’s commitment to their culture and beliefs but also to the issue of perception. With family, friends, business colleagues, and community members from all sides of the family attending, many worry about how the wedding will reflect back on them. The couple and both families may worry about what their friends and family will say about the event and what others will assume about them based on what it looks like, how much money was spent, and what religious and cultural traditions did or did not take place. Fear of gossip, judgment, and community standing may be at stake, heightening the stakes of the wedding. Concerns about perception muddy the waters of decision-making because they turn the question of What do we want for the event? into What does this event need to look like to receive the approval of others?

Control and Inclusion

When families argue over venues, centerpieces, and colors, the point of the disagreement can quickly become less about the centerpieces and more about who has the power to make the decision about the centerpieces. Logistical conversations quickly turn to who said what to whom, what families think about one another, and who feels included and excluded. For some, the desire to have control may reflect the fear of being left out or feeling irrelevant on the couple’s big day. For others the need for control over decisions ties back to the idea of parental control over their now-adult children. Many adult children no longer live at home by the time they get married, leaving parents with less say over their decisions and choices. When a wedding comes around, that parent/child dynamic can re-emerge and parents and kids may seek or unconsciously recreate that power differential.

A more complicated truth

For many families, weddings are not merely a day to celebrate the couple, but a way to illustrate family identity, beliefs, wealth, and culture. And so the couple, with its new differentiated identity, as well as each family, must address their different priorities, needs, and beliefs. It is much easier to blame a stressed-out bride or disagreements about wedding decor for ongoing tension, but the underlying dynamics tell a different story. Indeed, some couples avoid these dynamics all together when they decide to make all decisions unilaterally, taking full responsibility for their wedding.  But even then, families may carry expectations.

Melinda

Source:

Psychology Today

Fun

Weekend Music Share Tom Petty #weekendmusicshare

Welcome back to Weekend Music Share; the place where everyone can share their favourite music.

Feel free to use the ‘Weekend Music Share‘ banner in your post, and don’t forget to use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.

I’ve battled this week with my physical and mental health. I realized today how hard I was fighting and it made me think of a great Tom Petty Song. Melinda

Men & Womens Health

Prompt For Today Open, Book, and Write #SoSC

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “open book, point, write.” Pick up the closest book to you when you sit down to write your post. Close your eyes, open the book, and place your finger on the page. Whatever word or phrase your finger lands on, write about it. Enjoy!

 

“Joanie pressed the waxy lipstick into my lips” before I could even say hello. She was so excited and couldn’t hold the secret any longer. She said I’ve been accepted into Harvard and plan to stay in the dorm my freshman year. His heart sank…What about us? When will I see you?

Chad was reeling with thoughts, what will happen to their relationship? Is she about to break up? Joanie leads him down to the park saying it’s such a perfect day for a walk.

They found a bench and sat down. She brought up the subject first, I’m not breaking up, we won’t see each other often but you’re still my boyfriend. Then a thump….if you find someone while I’m away at school I’ll understand.

Before he could say anything Joanie pressed her waxy lipstick into my lips.

 

Join us for the fun and sharing good media stories  

For more on the Stream of Consciousness Saturday, visit Linda Hill’s blog. Here’s the link:https://lindaghill.com

Here are the rules for SoCS:

  1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.
  2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.
  3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.
  4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours. Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.
  5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.
  6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!
  7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.
  8. Have fun!
Men & Womens Health

Today in History June 6

Photo by Andrey Grushnikov on Pexels.com

 

1944

Four years and two days after Allied forces evacuated from the European mainland, they return in the Normandy landings, the largest amphibious military assault in history. By the end of the day, 5,000 vessels land 160,000 troops on the French coastline, launching the push to defeat Germany.

1844

George Williams, formerly of rural Somerset, England, and now working as a draper in London, is shocked by the decadence of city life and so opens the Young Men’s Christian Association (YMCA) to give other Industrial Revolution laborers a wholesome alternative to taverns and brothels.

1933

Richard Hollingshead opens his “automobile movie theatre” in Camden County, New Jersey, featuring 400 car slots, a 40-x-50-foot screen, and three 6-foot speakers. The feature at the first US drive-in theater is ‘Wives Beware,’ with admission costing a quarter per car and customer.

1971

Truly a ‘really big show,’ Ed Sullivan’s CBS variety hour ends after reigning as perhaps the most widely seen show biz showcase in US history. The Sunday evening staple helped launch the biggest stars of the era, including The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Elvis, and The Supremes.

BIRTHDAYS

Alexander Sergeyevich Pushkin  Jun 06, 1799 – Feb 10, 1837

Colin Edward Quinn 1959

Sandra Bernhard 1955

Björn Borg  1956

Men & Womens Health

Why every desk at your office should have a plant

Ideas.TED.com

May 20, 2019 / Mary Halton + Daryl Chen

Call it green energy — by giving every employee a plant, engineer Mike Robinson created an environment where both humans and their leafy friends thrive. Plus, 9 recommendations for hardy, hard-to-kill plants to call your own.

This post is part of TED’s “How to Be a Better Human” series, each of which contains a piece of helpful advice from someone in the TED community; browse through all the posts here. Besides a paycheck and reasonable hours, what else does a person need to thrive at work? Decent space, adequate supplies and tools? Yes. Lunch breaks, sick days, time off to recharge? Sure. A plant? Well … Such an idea had never occurred to engineer Mike Robinson. He owns a small company based in British Columbia, Canada, that designs and builds windbreaks and other control structures. One day, his wife, Suzanne, who runs the company with him, said: “I think we should give every person in the office a plant for their desk.” Robinson was skeptical. He thought that plants would be distracting and a drain on people’s time. “The average staff member would probably spend about five minutes a day either looking after the plant or admiring it,” as he puts it in a TEDxWhiteRock talk. Upon his wife’s insistence, however, he agreed to give it a try. He and Suzanne bought 20 plants for their 20 employees. Then, they did something a bit different. Instead of handing them out, they asked each employee to approach the tableful of plants and choose their own — but from the perspective of the plant. Think of it like a human-plant speed-date. Robinson explains, “So you have to put yourself in the spot of the plant, as it were, and say, ‘Which person do I want to be my new friend?’” Employees then received a small sign on which they wrote ‘My friend is …’ and their own name, stuck it in the soil, and brought it into their personal workspace. Over time, Robinson realized that the plants were having a positive impact. He says, “I did my own mathematics, and I reckoned that we might be doing about 30 percent more business per staff [member].” Of course, this is far from a scientific study. There’s no control group or double-blind — just a company filled with happy plant lovers excelling at their jobs. And maybe that’s enough. Another sign that something is going right: After 5 years, not a single plant has died. Robinson guesses that since each was hand-selected and bears the employee’s name on the label, they’re well-tended because “this is your friend and you care about your friend.” As he explains, “Our office is a more contented place, a relaxed place, and a place that I’m proud to be to be a part of, and a big part of that is the personal plant.” But what plant is right for your desk? Perhaps you’ve gotten one and felt the warm glow of human-plant friendship — only to see it wither before your eyes. We asked Rebecca Bullene, New York City horticulturist, cofounder of Greenery Unlimited and the person who designed and tends the greenery at the TED NYC offices, to recommend hardy plants for different light conditions. Note: Almost all of these plants are available in desktop sizes, but if you want them to stay that way, you will need to prune them.

Plants for low light 

Sansevieria plant, or snake plant: “They’re an architectural plant; I usually use them in spaces that have a more modern aesthetic,” says Bullene. ZZ plant, or emerald palm: “This plant has very deep glossy leaves and a kind of two-tone coloring. It’s a softer plant.” Aglaonema, or Chinese evergreen: “It has very beautiful patterning on the leaves, and it’s a larger-leafed plant. It is a welcoming plant.”

Plants for medium light 

Monstera deliciosa, or Swiss cheese plant: “It’s a fabulous name for a fabulous plant. The leaves have a really interesting texture, and this plant is a fast grower.” Schefflera arboricola: “it’s very cute. It’s one of my favorites, and it’s easy to take care of.” Anthurium, or laceleaf plant: “This is one of my favorite flowering plants. I prefer them to orchids because orchids can be difficult to care for and their blooms only last for about six weeks, whereas the anthurium puts up new flowers year-round.”

Plants for high light 

Ficus audrey, or banyan fig: “While the fiddle-leaf fig is the most popular ficus, the ficus audrey is gaining. I think it’s just as beautiful, if not more so. It has very velvety leaves, and its growth habit is more restrained.” Philodendron selloum, or philodendron hope selloum: “This was popular in the 1970s and the 1980s and fell out of favor, but it’s having a resurgence now. These plants have large tropical leaves with really deep cuts in them and a lovely, ruffle-like texture. This is not one that you’d have on your desk — it’s large — but next to it.” Succulent plants, such as aloe verapincushion or zebra plant: “These are very popular right now. They’re best on a sunny windowsill rather than away from natural light. Most need water every 7 to 10 days, but touch the soil first — if it’s damp, don’t water it. They really like to dry out between waterings.” Echeveria: “This is a flowering succulent that’s good in high light. They put out these long stems with bell-shaped flowers.” But what if you’re in a space that has no windows or a window facing a stairwell? “The sansevieria and aglaonema can survive in a room with no windows, although they won’t flourish. But people without natural light should known that grow lights have come far in the past three years,” says Bullene. “They screw into any fixture and they provide the same kind of light to work by, but they’re actually introducing a full spectrum of light for plants. I’ve seen plants respond really well to them.” One brand that she’s had good results with is Sansi. What about air plants“These generally require more care and attention than people are willing to give. When I’ve gone into a store and the sales people are like, ‘Oh, you don’t need to do anything with them,’ it breaks my heart,” says Bullene. “One of the fundamentals of plant care is to think about a plant’s native habitat and how to recreate it so the plant will be happy. Air plants grow in extremely high humidity environments that are full of life; they get their nutrients from the air.” She recommends either putting them near a humidifier (and misting them regularly) or soaking them for 20 minutes at a time in a bowl of water. Air plants like bright, indirect light. Last but not least: Don’t overwater. “There’s a direct proportional relationship between light and water. The less light a plant gets, the less water it should receive; the more light, the more water,” explains Bullene. “Often, people think they should water every day, and that’s the kiss of death. In a low light environment, you should water plants every 10 days or so.“ What’s confusing is the signs of overwatering and underwatering are largely the same — yellow leaves, wilting — and most of us respond by adding water. Says Bullene, “I’d say 80 percent of the time plants are receiving too much water, and the correct response would be to withhold it for a little bit longer.” Watch Mike Robinson’s TEDxWhiteRock talk now:

ABOUT THE AUTHORS

Mary Halton is Assistant Ideas Editor at TED, and a science journalist based in the Pacific Northwest. Daryl Chen is the Ideas Editor at TED.
Men & Womens Health

Clean Air With A Homemade Oil Diffuser

Willow & Sage by Stampington

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

You will need

Wooden diffuser sticks

Lavender essential oil

Tea Tree essential oil

Fractionated Coconut oil

Glass bottle

Blend essential oils into fractionated coconut oil at a ratio of about 1-4, fill glass bottle halfway and insert sticks.

Use a bottle with the smallest opening possible, and use as many sticks as you can fit into the opening. This will discourage oil from evaporating quickly through the bottle opening and encourage it to evaporate more slowly through diffuser sticks.

Display the diffuser far away from sunlight, strong lights, and excessive heat to increase the longevity of the oil blend, or display closer to these things for a stronger and shorter diffuser.