When things get too much, and it feels like there’s little you can do to get yourself into a good frame of mind, that can create a lot of stress. If you suffer from anxiety and/or depression, then you know what it’s like to spiral out of control. It gets to the point where nothing can be said or done at that moment to pick you back up again.

You can get back to your old self, though. You know you can. You’ve done this kind of thing before, and you’ll do it again. If you’re in a dark place right now, then you already know that getting right out of it will not be an easy task that happens overnight. You can do small things, however, that will slowly build you up and get your mind back into the right place. You can build a foundation for yourself – almost like a safety net – that you can fall back onto when things go a little wrong again. Here are a few things you can do:

Exercise And Eat 

These two things are much easier said than done, but once you start them, you will see improvement. Exercising not only releases endorphins, but it also helps you to improve at a certain skill. You’ll feel a lot better about yourself due to the confidence in your ability to do something challenging. Eating right also gives your mind and body more energy, meaning you process situations better.

Talk!

Opening up about anything regarding mental health will help out – this is another objective fact; it’s not up for debate. Letting people help out will mean your problem will be halved. Others will be able to help you conquer your issues. You’ll feel a weight lifted.

Research Medicinal Help 

Sometimes, medical help is necessary. Perhaps even something like CBD oil from https://www.remedyreview.com/ would do the trick. If you feel like more treatment would help, then heading to a doctor or therapist is a good idea. They’ll be able to analyze the situation and prescribe you the correct medication if needed. Relaxing your mind and stopping yourself from thinking tragic things is a great first step in the journey towards recovery. 

Do Something

This is, again, another part of life that’s easier said than done, but it’s something that everyone should be urged to do. Sitting around is a terrible thing – it’s great when you’re tired after a long, busy day, but it’s a terrible habit to get into. When you sit down and do nothing for a long time, your mind starts to wonder. When your mind wanders, it can go to strange places. Simply making your bed in the morning is a good task to start with. Once you’ve done that, just find something to do around the house – it doesn’t matter what it is. Keep busy. Keep that mind occupied!

This is a collaborative post.

Melinda

IDEAS.TED.COM

Sep 15, 2021 / David Burkus PhD

Nata Schepy

This post is part of TED’s “How to Be a Better Human” series, each of which contains a piece of helpful advice from people in the TED community; browse through all the posts here.

For leaders at any level, the single best way to grow is to lead and then get feedback. It is to act and interact with your team and learn what can be improved upon through feedback. Feedback is a better teacher than books, academic journal articles, trainings, speeches and even TED Talks.

And I say this as a writer who translates research from academic journal articles while giving trainings, speeches and TED Talks.

After you reach a more senior role, people tend to minimize any unpleasant or less-than-positive feedback or don’t want to offer you any constructive criticism at all.

But there’s a problem with receiving feedback once you reach a more senior role. The nature of feedback changes — people tend to minimize any unpleasant or less-than-positive feedback or don’t want to offer you any constructive criticism at all. And your response to feedback may also change; you may not internalize feedback because you don’t see the whole picture or you could get defensive.

Here, I’ll outline four steps you can take to get better at receiving feedback in order to grow as a leader and grow as a team.

Step #1: Start with thank you

The very first response to give when someone gives you feedback should be a response of gratitude. Don’t get defensive. Don’t offer to explain what they might not understand. And don’t even jump further into what you should change (we’ll get there). Instead, take time to offer your thanks for the gift you just received — the gift of feedback.

While feedback is a gift, it’s even more so a risk. When a team member speaks up to offer you feedback, they’re taking a risk with how you’ll respond. 

Why should you do this? Because while feedback is a gift, it’s even more so a risk. When a team member speaks up to offer you their feedback, especially critical or constructive feedback, they’re taking a risk with how you’ll respond. They’re risking potential damage to the relationship or retaliation. Or they’re risking wasting their time by giving feedback to someone who won’t receive it. Starting with “thank you” lets the other person know that risk was worth it and you will listen.

Step #2: Restate what you heard

Whether it’s praise, criticism or some other type of feedback, take the time to restate to the person giving it what you heard them say. Just a quick “What I hear you saying is _____” can have a powerful effect on your conversation.

Restating their feedback lets them know that their opinion matters and makes it more likely you’ll get additional feedback in the future from this person. 

Restating the feedback does two things. The first is that is checks your own understanding of the message, so you don’t risk taking in the wrong lessons. But more importantly, restating the feedback you heard allows the other person to feel heard. 

It lets them know you were really listening and — just like the first step — that this conversation isn’t a waste. It lets them know that their opinion matters and makes it more likely you’ll get additional feedback in the future from this person (and anyone else they talk to about this conversation).

Step #3: Mention what you’re changing

Listening to feedback by alone doesn’t bring about growth; it’s only when feedback is used to figure how to act differently (or start or stop acting) that growth actually happens. And if you’re going to be making changes as a result of the feedback, why not share those changes with the person or people who helped you discover what changes to make?

Once you’ve figured out how to apply feedback, be sure to share it with those who gave it. 

However, you don’t need to tell those who give you feedback what you’re changing right away. It’s OK to circle back later on, re-thank them for their feedback, and then mention what you’re changing. But once you’ve figured out how to apply feedback, be sure to share it with those who gave it.

Step #4: Seek out more feedback

Feedback isn’t a one-and-done intervention; it’s a process. You’re growing, changing and improving all the time — and to do that you’ll need more feedback. 

So make sure you’re developing a habit of seeking out more feedback. When you finish stating what you’ll be changing, ask if you can set a date with that person or group to re-evaluate how the change is going.

Not only will you get better at receiving feedback over time, but people will also feel more comfortable giving it to you. 

This does two things. First, it will guarantee more feedback at a later date. But more importantly, it will signal how open you truly are to receiving feedback and make it more likely you get unsolicited feedback at any time. And unsolicited feedback from those you trust is often the most potent.

Feedback is an ongoing process, and it may be difficult the first or second time you’re in a feedback conversation to meaningfully hit all four steps. But it will get easier over time. Not only will you get better at receiving feedback, but people will also feel more comfortable giving it to you. 

This article originally appeared on DavidBurkus.com and has been adapted with the author’s permission.

Watch his TEDxUniversityofNevada Talk here:

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

David Burkus PhD is an organizational psychologist and bestselling author of five books, including Leading from Anywhere: Unlock the Power and Performance of Remote Teams.

• advice
• business advice
• David Burkus
• how to be a better human
• leadership
• successful leadership
• teamwork

There’s a lot you can do, in the day-to-day alone, to try and make yourself feel better. For both your mental and physical health’s sake, knowing you can keep your house clean and tidy is a big thing. As a result, you can feel happier, and you can feel healthier (or even alleviate your pain symptoms), and that can really improve your quality of life. But why does a clean house make you feel so much better? Well, here are the main reasons. 

Cleaning can help to keep you on your feet, and make sure you’re moving on a daily basis – even if you don’t consider it a form of exercise, it’s definitely a good way to keep your legs and arms moving, and your muscles supple, if you’re someone who can’t exercise in a traditional manner. 

Being active in a manner like this is also very productive; you’ll be killing two birds with one stone! You could burn almost 200 calories per hour while cleaning, and also make your space look a lot more organized, which is good for your mental health too. 

The air quality in your home needs to be of good quality, to make sure you’re not coughing on a daily basis, and you’re not feeling stuffy in your nose or your throat. Poor air quality can make any and all chronic conditions you’re already living with worse, especially if you have a respiratory issue. 

When the house is clean and tidy, there are far fewer dust particles in the air. Even getting a proper airflow through your home, by opening windows and turning on the AC, is a great idea. Fresh air is very good for you! 

Indeed, if your central air and heating systems don’t seem to be able to crank it up to high enough levels, it’s a good idea to look into HVAC Repair for your home. There’s a good chance you have a blockage or a breakage somewhere, and that’s going to be hard to fix on your own. 

You’ll Sleep Much Better

For anyone who lives with insomnia, or has a lot of trouble falling asleep thanks to chronic pain, even just making your bed in the morning can mean you get some much better sleep during the night. 

Regularly changing your bedding, and making sure you have a new mattress every 8 years at the least, can help to lower your pain levels and make you feel more comfortable when you climb into bed at night. 

And sleeping better makes taking care of yourself a lot easier too. If you’re rested, and you’re not feeling tired on a permanent basis, you’ll feel a lot more secure and comfortable in yourself. Getting more, better sleep really is a life-changer, and a lot of it is due to a clean house. 

A clean house really can make you feel better, in a variety of ways! 

This is a collaborative post.

Melinda

CBD continues to gain in popularity and interests an increasingly wide target. Whether it is to promote relaxation, or even to relieve pain (whether neurological or biological), CBD is today in the limelight. To meet these new expectations, and everyone’s desire to test its virtues, CBD comes in all forms! Among them, cbd is widely acclaimed. Oil as a food supplement or massage oil, each of them has undeniable virtues. Orally, it relieves the ailments of the body. Used in massage, it relieves the joints, muscles but also skin problems. But how do you know which one to use? Are there different types of oils? Let’s discover together the different existing compositions and their manufacturing processes.

The benefits of CBD continue to be recognized around the world. Its miraculous properties now make it possible to provide an alternative and natural solution to a wide audience. Used for well-being, comfort, or even aesthetic purposes, CBD oil is the most popular form because it can be used in multiple ways. This format also promotes rapid absorption in the body.

What are the different ways of extracting CBD oil? 

To produce CBD oil, it is necessary to extract this cannabinoid from the hemp plant. There are different extraction methods for this. Among the best known we find in particular:

CO2 extraction – Although expensive, it is the extraction method most used by manufacturers because it allows absolute control. This natural gas which is CO2 indeed allows to precisely control the heating temperature and thus ensures to keep all the benefits of CBD once extracted.

Oil extraction – Oil extraction is another alternative, which is completely natural. During oil extraction, oils of different types (animal, vegetable, or mineral) are used, which are also heated. It is then filtered through the hemp plant in order to extract the CBD it contains in the process. This simple and natural process extraction must however be done without overheating so as not to risk altering the beneficial effects of CBD.

The benefits of CBD oil as a dietary supplement 

In the form of capsules or in the form of drops, CBD oil is a dietary supplement that is growing in popularity. We can therefore consume it as a single intake, or by integrating it into our culinary preparations – you can add it into smoothies or other drinks. When it is digested, its benefits will take a little longer to be felt but will act gradually over the long term. 

A massage oil also has interesting properties 

CBD oil is also a great ally when applied to the skin. CBD is great for strengthening hair and nails too! It also makes it possible to treat skin problems whether they are acne problems, eczema or another dermatitis, or various skin lesions. It deeply nourishes and reduces stains and other scars. Used for therapeutic purposes, it can also be applied in a localized manner to the areas that one wishes to treat to relieve painful joints, for example, or after exercise to soothe overworked muscles and soothe the pain.

This is a collaborative post.

Melinda

How do you know if your teen is suicidal? Most often they aren’t going to tell you or talk about it. If they do, will you understand and know how to help or know where to go for help?

I’m not a doctor and certainly don’t have all the answers but I was a teen on a one-way train down and made my first attempt at suicide as a pre-teen. Teens today have more pressure on them than I can imagine.

When I was that age there was no internet, People Magazine, Access Hollywood, cable, or presence on social media to make you feel extra pressure. Peer pressure was just that, peer pressure. Now pressure comes at teens from a 360-degree angle 24/7 if you don’t monitor their internet and phone activity.

As a proactive measure, I would talk with the school counselor to get an understanding of what types of issues teens are having. What have they’ve experienced and what do they suggest you do to help your teen proactively or if in trouble. Don’t think you have all the answers, you don’t.

If your teen is experiencing depression or is showing signs of anxiety, have them talk with a Therapist or at minimum your General Practitioner. If your doctor is of the opposite sex see if they have a Nurse Practitioner of the same sex to talk with. Often times teens will open up more if they think the person can relate to them. Teens may also share more if you give them the privacy, allow some time by themselves to talk more openly. 

If your teen is suicidal or attempts suicide get help at once. Call a suicide hotline and have your teen talk with someone who might be able to help them, even if temporarily until you can get further help. Worst case scenario, go to the local hospital for help.

Here are a few resources I found. 

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/tween-and-teen-health/in-depth/teen-suicide/art-20044308

https://www.healthyplace.com/suicide/why-do-teens-commit-suicide-causes-of-teen-suicide

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/promoting-student-well-being/202009/america-is-facing-teen-suicide-pandemic

https://www.today.com/series/things-i-wish-i-knew/my-teen-daughter-died-suicide-here-s-what-i-wish-t113837

https://www.apa.org/topics/suicide/prevention-teens

One conversation is not the answer nor is being hyper-vigilant. Work to find a balance by having an open conversation by sharing your concerns, and let them know when you’ll follow up. Keep to your commitment.

At 12 years old, I came minutes away from dying from a suicide attempt. It was not my first or the last, just the most successful.

Communication and observation are the keys.

Melinda

Being organized can be an effective way to minimize stress and make your life easier. However, it can be tricky to know where to start, particularly if being organized isn’t a natural strong point. To help you to implement long-lasting changes, take a look at these five ways you can be more organized in life:

When you’re surrounded by too many things, it can be hard to relax and unwind but, equally, it can be difficult to focus and concentrate. To give yourself a productive environment and calm surroundings, start by decluttering your home. Donating, selling, or discarding the items you no longer need or want will allow you to free up space and make the most of your home. 

Most people own a car and yet few people are really proactive about the maintenance involved. From knowing when your insurance renewal is due to getting your vehicle serviced, there is a myriad of tasks involved. Start by making sure you have important contact numbers stored on your phone. From a recovery or towing service to your mechanic’s number and the contact details of your insurance company, you should have everything you need on your phone or written down, in case you need it when you’re on the road. Similarly, diarize your vehicle’s service and insurance renewal, so that you can book in advance and get the cheapest cover. 

When you make the best use of your time, you can get more done and increase your productivity levels. Employing a time management strategy can be an easy way to make positive changes in your life. With plenty of software and free apps available, you can take a digital approach to time management and make it work for you. 

People tend to assume that multitasking enables them to operate more efficiently but this is rarely the case. Instead, tasks often get left unfinished because you get distracted by something else, or errors are made because you’re not giving a particular job your full attention. Inevitably, this means that things actually take longer to get done. 

If you want to be more organized and more productive, stop multitasking and try focusing on one thing at a time instead. This allows you to give it your full attention and complete the task more quickly, before moving on to the next one. 

When you’re living a fast-paced life, it can be difficult to keep track of everything. From managing your kid’s social calendar to further your career or running a home, there are endless things to do. However, identifying your priorities can help to streamline your workflows and will ensure that the most important things are always done ahead of time. 

If you want to stay organized, be sure to use habits that are easy to replicate when you’re making your life more structured. Often, it’s the relatively small but sustainable changes that have the biggest impact, so be sure to use these to your advantage as you become more organized. 

This is a collaborative post.

Melinda

Many chronic pain patients have been told there is nothing wrong with them. I had that experience at my last Pain Doctor appointment.

About 12 months ago the pain in my hips was so bad I could only sleep for two hours at a time before I had to get out of bed. I was seeing a fairly new Pain Doctor at the time and he scheduled me for a steroid injection in the front of the hip. It made the pain worse. He then ran a CT Scan to see what was going on.

While I waited for the test results, I did some research and it sounded like Bursitis. So imagine my surprise when he tells me there is nothing wrong and I should talk with my Psychiatrist about why I can’t sleep. I about came off the table, what the hell was he saying?

After making it clear that my sleeping problems were due to pain and had nothing to do with my Psychiatrist, he suggested Physical Therapy. We wrapped up our appointment and he wrote another 30-day script for pain meds.

I was fuming! I was addicted to pain medication but there was no way I would see a doctor who insulted me that way. No doctor should ever tell a patient nothing is wrong with them.

After contacting my Orthopedic Doctor about the hip pain, he scheduled me for a steroid injection in the side of my hip. He said that all problems develop before they show up on an x-ray and that was probably my case. The shot worked for about six weeks, then I had to wait for three months to pass before he could give another injection. So now I’m scheduled for my third round of shots next month. They don’t last three months but it’s better than nothing.

Because my Fibromyalgia has not been flaring up, I decided to go off of pain meds and try to manage with Tylenol. Some days are diamonds, some days are rust. I also have painful leg muscle spasms, neuropathy, and TMJ. I will have to find another Pain Doctor and hope the third time is the charm.

I’m not being Polly Anne about my pain, it’s a BITCH! I just don’t think you want to read about it every week in a post.

Melinda