Looking for the Light is a Health and Lifestyle Blog covering topics such as Photography, Cooking, DIY Projects, Fitness, Men's and Women's Health, Lyme Disease, Mental Health, and having fun along the way.
Please stop by, pull up a chair, and read through my archives.
Melinda
I can’t thank military members and their families enough for the daily sacrifices they make large and small. The military has not only kept America safe and strong, but they’ve also taken those skills to the workplace and beyond.
My gramps joined the Army in 1939 and was a proud military man but most would not know because he didn’t talk about it. He was stationed at the Panama Canal right after the war broke out to ensure our shipping channels were protected and shipped out to Germany when fighting escalated. I have every metal, his funeral flag, and all types of photos, even a few holiday menus. I’m so proud of my gramps for his commitment and bravery. Those trenches must have been hell.
Served in WWII
He would talk to me at length about the actual work that he did but not the battlefield and I’m fine with that, it must be traumatic for any soldier.
Toby Kieth sings one of my favorite patriotic songs of our time, American Soldier. This video may give you tears, if you’re a Veteran of any age you will want to see what a great job he does of sending our message.
Giving attention to what you eat/ drink helps you to avoid indulging in food that is poor in nutrition or is high in unhealthy elements. Some of the practices involved in mindful eating are, eating only until you are full, knowing your non-hunger triggers and eating only when hungry, appreciating your food, eating for your […]
This is an example of how trauma represents itself long after you’ve worked out the worst in your head and heart.
People who have read my About Me page know I’ve had my share of trauma and that I’ve worked hard to overcome my demons. The truth is they never go away, some piece in your heart or brain still remembers. It’s not something you feel, it becomes a trigger.
Photo by u0422u0430u0442u044cu044fu043du0430 u0427u0435u0440u043du044bu0448u043eu0432u0430ud83cudf52 on Pexels.com
Here’s some backstory
My husband works for an International company and they’ve gone thru a major reorganization recently. It is a bit chaotic right now, he is working many late-night meetings so his counterparts in the other country can participate. Because of this, my husband doesn’t get a chance to unwind from the stress. Fact of life right?
We all have to find a way to deplete stress from our day in order to feel restored and for our long-term health. Last night he didn’t finish his day, minus looking at emails all night, until after 7PM and he was trying to destress for the day.
I saw him from the corner of my eye, he was maxed out. I said to him not in these exact words, that I was concerned that he was not getting a chance to destress every day and that maybe there were other options the doctor could offer him. Like anxiety meds.
During our conversation, he said, “I’ll think about it”. Sounds harmless right? It triggered me. At that moment, “I’ll think about it” meant, either I’m not going to do it or shut up about it. I got upset and we had a breakdown in communication.
He has no way to know that comment would trigger me, I had no idea.
The post isn’t about how our communication went sideways, it’s an example of what’s under our skin that remains after trauma. It’s impossible to see triggers when you’re still working thru trauma, the nerves and heart are like a live wire. When you’re in the middle of the storm it’s pure survival, whatever it takes.
Those who make it thru the storm come out with deep scars, you have no idea how those scars will represent themselves as you move forward in life.
As we learn what is a trigger, we can better learn how to deal with the emotion it brings up.
Give yourself and other’s some grace in those moments.
I want to send a special thank you to the Managing Editor of Trigger Publishing, Soraya Nair for sending Me, Myself and Ana by Abi Appleby to review. This is a story that will pull at your heart and will help people see there is light at the end of the tunnel for those who need help.
Blurb
Who’s your best friend? What happens when they’re not a real person, but a voice in your head?
Abi Appleby’s eating disorder manifested as Ana, a voice that told her to eat less and exercise more until she disappeared. Abi trusted and listened to her for long enough that her loved ones noticed her changing body and behaviours. They helped her into treatment, but even there, she could still hear Ana’s voice.
Me, Myself & Ana tells the story of Abi’s descent into anorexia nervosa, but it also shows how she finally quieted Ana – and realized that she wasn’t her best friend, but an enemy that she could defeat.
My Thoughts
Eating Disorders are complex to treat, and require a very specialized treatment plan and oversight. “Statistically anorexia has the highest mortality rate of all psychiatric disorders (Arcelus, 2011). Help from professionals reduces the likelihood of dying from anorexia significantly.” (Except from book)
Abi’s eating disorder is so severe it manifested into a voice/friend in her head named Ana who doesn’t want Abi to get better. Ana was taking over her life by giving her restrictions on what to eat, and how much, and forcing her to exercise way beyond her capability. She is starving and praising Abi for how good she looks.
Abi is doing her part by going into treatment after she reached a dangerous state of health and her family noticed how sick she was. She works very hard in treatment but she is still controlled by Ana and getting ridiculed daily for seeking treatment.
Now her struggle is shutting out these voices during treatment that are sabotaging her and learning how to live without an eating disorder. At one point Abi was skin and bones and her goal was to disappear. As you can imagine, Ana spoke even louder and more destructively and Abi follow her right into the middle of the eye of the storm.
“Ana” wasn’t so much a friend as a deadly mental illness disguised as a friendly voice inside my head: anorexia nervosa.” Several of her journal entries are quite scary. I am so proud of her for getting help and now she helps others.
Excerpt From Me, Myself and Ana
We all have an inner voice but it’s very different for people with a mental illness who are very sick to see clearly.
This would also be great to have around the house for tweens/teens, boys, and girls, so they can get exposure to eating disorders, you have to start young with what is normal and what is not. There is so much peer pressure on teens these days with Social Media showing so many images that are photoshopped or they hear about a starving model hear makes over a million a year.
This is a big thumbs up in my book!
Trigger Publishing
TriggerHub.org is the first mental health organization of its kind. We are bringing mental health recovery and balance to millions of people worldwide through the power of our books.
We have built a first-class resource of curated books produced and published in-house to create a unique collection of mental health recovery titles unrivaled in quality and selection. We work with experts, psychologists, doctors, and coaches to produce our books, but we also work with real people looking to share their stories to reach out to others and provide hope, understanding, and compassion. These brave authors also aim to raise awareness of mental health’s “human” face and its impact on everyday lives.
November has arrived and that means it is time to think about holiday gifts. Books are a special gift and you can personalize it by writing an inscription on the first blank page of the book. I have kept books that are not necessarily ones I’ll read again but kept them because they have inscriptions that bring back memories.
I’ve combined several lists to give you more choices.
Where my head has been the last few days as we wind down to Election Day in America. There has to be a middle ground, life is not black and white it’s grey. It’s time to give people their voices back. No more, my way or the highway!
Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their site with you. This week I highlight a new blogger, Shangri-La.
I love to write about the simple things in every day life with humor and positivity. My late Irish born mother Mary, is my favorite subject. I have written several stories about her on my blog and hope to comprise them all into a book in her memory. I also work in a Psychiatric hospital and cherish all the wonderful patients that enrich my life with their beauty, intelligence wit and courage, each and every day.
Please check out her site, she writes from the heart.
On November 6, 1869, Rutgers beats Princeton, 6-4, in the first college football game. The game, played with a soccer ball before roughly 100 fans in New Brunswick, New Jersey, resembles rugby instead of today’s football. Even off the playing fields, the rivalry between the New …read more
Led by Bolshevik Party leader Vladimir Lenin, leftist revolutionaries launch a nearly bloodless coup d’État against Russia’s ineffectual Provisional Government. The Bolsheviks and their allies occupied government buildings and other strategic locations in the Russian capital of …read more
The Spanish conquistador Alvar Nunez Cabeza de Vaca is shipwrecked on a low sandy island off the coast of Texas. Starving, dehydrated, and desperate, he is the first European to set foot on the soil of the future Lone Star state. Cabeza de Vaca’s unintentional journey to Texas …read more
In the aftermath of the November 1 coup that resulted in the murder of President Ngo Dinh Diem, Gen. Duong Van Minh, leading the Revolutionary Military Committee of the dissident generals who had conducted the coup, takes over leadership of South Vietnam. U.S. Ambassador Henry …read more
On November 6, 1906, President Theodore “Teddy” Roosevelt embarks on a 17-day trip to Panama and Puerto Rico, becoming the first president to make an official diplomatic tour outside of the continental United States. Roosevelt entered office in 1901 with the firm intention of …read more
Here is a list of the many days observed during the month of November. You’ll find other awareness day sites whose lists are way too long. Here’s a condensed version.
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share; the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the ‘Weekend Music Share‘ banner in your post, and don’t forget to use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
When you are thinking about buying a pet, you need to make sure that it all goes to plan, and that you ultimately end up with a pet that you are happy with. But there are other considerations, such as the welfare of the animal, and how you are going to pay for it, for instance. As it happens, there are quite a few things you should be aware of when you are buying a pet. Let’s take a look at some of the most important of these concerns that you should check when you are buying any pet.
Depending on the type of pet you are thinking of getting, you might need a lot of space or just room for a small cage. But it’s vital, in either case, to make sure that you are considering this at the outset, and that you definitely have the appropriate space for your pet to be in. If you don’t, you’ll have to put off your desire for a pet until such time as you are actually able to care for them properly by providing the right amount of space. Otherwise, it will just be cruel to have them in your home.
Is The Seller Trustworthy?
When you are buying something like a dog or a cat, you’ll also need to be able to trust the seller, because otherwise, you may end up with a pet that has not been bred properly or officially, and which might therefore have all sorts of health problems and other issues to consider. It is always best to go with a registered breeder such as Kerris Havanese, as that means that you can be sure you can trust them, and that will help you keep peace of mind over your pet’s wellbeing.
Can You Commit?
In general, are you able to commit to actually looking after a pet? You need to have space, as we saw above, but that’s only one element. You also need to have plenty of time, energy, and the ability to ensure that you are doing all you can to look after them properly and fully. If you don’t think you can do this if you are in any doubt at all, then you shouldn’t get the pet, but should instead wait until you are in a better position to look after them properly.
Do You Have The Right Lifestyle?
In a similar vein, do you actually have the right kind of lifestyle for the pet you are keen to have? You’ll need to think about whether you are actually able to look after them properly, or whether you are going to struggle to make them fit into your way of living, which would of course be problematic for any animal. So think carefully and deeply about this, and be careful not to rush into anything – it’s much more important to wait it out until you are absolutely certain, rather than just going for it.
I have been struggling with hip, back, and knee pain, and it drives me crazy how it moves around my body throughout the day. I have bursitis in both hips and arthritis in my lower back. I’ve been dealing with severe pain, and now it hurts to walk, I’ve coped by going to bed. It’s frustrating to leave everything behind. I may have to stay in bed for two days before the pain moves down the scale.
Fed up with lying in bed, I decided to take a hot Dead Sea Salt bath with essential oil. I haven’t had to think about how to get in the bathtub before. My first attempt had me on both knees, very painful and I was too weak to pull myself up. I finally got out and thought about how to get in, what the hell, I just jumped in.
The reason for writing this post is so people without a chronic illness will think about the difficulty people with chronic pain or illnesses have with simple things.
I would love to hear what you do to relieve chronic pain.
Cheryl Clarke contacted me and asked if I would post Dawn’s Symons experience with ME/CFS. Without question, I knew many of my readers are interested in this topic. Enjoy.
Dawn’s experience with ME / CFS and her recovery story
When did you first get diagnosed?
I wasn’t diagnosed with ME until 2012, but I’ve had ME since I was in my 20’s so I’ve had it for about 34 years.
And what was it like when you first got your diagnosis? How did that feel?
Relief. I already knew there was something going on, and I was just glad that I finally had a diagnosis because a lot of people call people who have Chronic Fatigue or ME hypochondriacs. They call them lazy. I never met anybody who has experienced ME who is either of those things.
They usually have class-A personality types; they are driven and don’t take time off when they are poorly. Instead, they keep going and going, which chips away at the body and reduces the immunity, and they get an infection from which they don’t recover.
Can you tell us your experience of ME?
I couldn’t walk more than about 30 steps for about 18 months. I was so insular and isolated I couldn’t physically have a conversation because I didn’t have enough energy. And my mental capacity was greatly reduced because I had such severe brain fog.
It was difficult to think about what I wanted to say, and if somebody asked me a question, it was difficult to reply because, by the time I started thinking about the response, I had forgotten the question. So on top of everything, I felt stupid.
I managed to work literally for a couple of hours a week. I lost everything, including my home. And then obviously you get depressed with it, going through that experience.
So I was very low. Not so much anxious, although towards the end of it, I was getting very anxious because I’d lost all of my savings, and I could see that I was going to end up homeless, which I did.
Then you’ve got a mental battle going on as well. Why can’t I recover, why can’t somebody help me, why aren’t the doctors helping, and why are there no pills for this?
And how would you explain it to someone who has no idea what ME /CFS is?
If I was to sum up ME / CFS in one hit, it would be like an old phone that you charge up, but it only holds the charge for two hours, and you’ve got to leave it on charge all the time, and that’s what having ME is like, you can’t recharge your battery. You don’t know what’s going to drain it. There is sometimes very little that you can physically do, and you’re just drained.
The more you try and do, the more frustrated you get, and then you get even more drained. The thing that drains energy the most is depression and anxiety. It puts a huge amount of stress on the body and mind.
This is why I think the bottom line is to get the mental state in a more accepting state and then start adding little bits and pieces of other activities which might help from the healing wheel in the First Aid For Stress program and trialing what works.
So do you recommend different levels of activity depending on the severity of your CFS?
It’s a case of trial and error. Trying and then seeing what the effects are. Recovery is not going to come about quickly. It’s taken me a long time to get to where I am now. And at this moment, I am still battling. I’m battling with menopause as well as Chronic Fatigue. Every single case is different because each person may also have multiple health issues to contend with, not just Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
Did/ do you take medication for CFS / ME?
There is no pill for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. There are lots of medications suggested, but they come with a lot of side effects, and I am very sensitive to medication, so I didn’t want to take them. I’ve also come to realize that there can’t be one pill for everyone because it’s so multifaceted. There are so many things that are having an effect on the body and the mind that has resulted in the symptoms.
This is the reason calming the mind down is so important. Particularly if you are pressuring yourself. There are so many worries that come with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, such as “I’ve got to get better because I’m going to lose my job”, “I’ve got to get better because I have to look after my children”, “I’ve got to get better because I’m going to lose my home”. And that level of pressure is too much.
What did you realize in your recovery journey that is in the First Aid For Stress Program?
Unless you deal with the worry and fear and come to accept the fact that you have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, you will not be able to recover. It’s like having ten spoons in the morning, and each spoon is for doing something, and that doing something could be as much as rolling over, and that takes two spoons worth of energy. Then you need the toilet, and that takes three spoons. Suddenly you’re down to five. Cooking a meal for yourself, game over.
And you live in that awful state for a very long time. And the worst thing for your energy levels is your mind chattering, your mental state. It’s so important to learn to be kinder to yourself. To do some meditation, one of the core parts of my work is the meditations that I’ve recorded which are freely available to everyone. Listening to that recording repeatedly begins to rewire the brain.
BIO: Dawn Symons from First Aid For Stress and Maga Therapy. Dawn has lectured and written widely, specialising in tension & stress reduction irrespective of the cause, applying the latest scientific thinking to provide logical, effective & progressive results. She facilitates the First Aid For Stress Program for people suffering from ME / CFS / Anxiety / Depression and Chronic Illness.
Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their site with you. This week we highlight a new blogger, Chronic Reflections.
Chronically ill and mostly housebound with CFS/ME. Mom to an adult daughter. Recovering perfectionist. Interested in history, current affairs, social justice, sustainable living, and the Arts. Hobbies include writing, reading, word puzzles, listening to music, watching good TV and classic movies, playing casual computer games, and sleeping.
I watch a lot of streaming television shows as well as movies. Hence, in general, I avoid advertisements. Yesterday, I happen to be watching Buffy The Vampire Slayer again. The television series; not the movie. The only way to watch it is on Hulu streaming service where I am exposed to commercials. Sigh. And, they […]
Hi! So glad you are enjoying the Today in History each Sunday.
1938
Orson Welles’s “War of the Worlds” radio play is broadcast
“The War of the Worlds”—Orson Welles’s realistic radio dramatization of a Martian invasion of Earth—is broadcast on the radio on October 30, 1938. Welles was only 23 years old when his Mercury Theater company decided to update H.G. Wells’s 19th-century science fiction novel TheWar of the Worlds for national radio. Despite his age, Welles had been in radio for several years, most notably as the voice of “The Shadow” in the hit mystery program of the same name. “War of the Worlds” was not planned as a radio hoax, and Welles had little idea of how legendary it would eventually become.
On October 30, 2003, 18-year-old basketball prodigy LeBron James scores 25 points, grabs six rebounds and dishes out nine assists, but his Cleveland Cavaliers lose to the more experienced Sacramento Kings, 106-92. His debut is one of the most impressive in league history—only …read more
On October 30, 1811, Jane Austen’s Sense and Sensibility is published anonymously. A small circle of people, including the Prince Regent, learned Austen’s identity, but most of the British public knew only that the popular book had been written “by a …read more
On October 30, 1864, the town of Helena, Montana, is founded by four gold miners who struck it rich at the appropriately named “Last Chance Gulch.” The first major Anglo settlement of Montana had begun just two years before in the summer of 1862, when prospectors found a sizeable …read more
1991
“Perfect storm” hits North Atlantic
On October 30, 1991, the so-called “perfect storm” hits the North Atlantic producing remarkably large waves along the New England and Canadian coasts. Over the next several days, the storm spread its fury over the ocean off the coast of Canada. The fishing boat Andrea Gail and its six-member crew were lost in the storm. The disaster spawned the best-selling book The Perfect Storm by Sebastian Junger and a blockbuster Hollywood movie of the same name.
Stress and anxiety are common experiences that can have a significant impact on your daily life. While some stress is normal and even necessary, too much stress can lead to problems. Understanding the causes of stress and anxiety can help you find ways to manage these feelings and improve your overall well-being.
There are many possible causes of stress and anxiety. Some people may be more prone to these feelings due to their genes or brain chemistry. Others may experience stress and anxiety in response to specific life events or circumstances. And still, others may have a medical condition that contributes to these emotions.
Some Of The Most Common Causes Of Stress And Anxiety Include:
Major life changes, such as starting a new job or getting married
Financial problems
Relationship difficulties
parenting concerns
Health issues
Workplace stressors
Terrorism, natural disasters, and other global events
In many cases, stress and anxiety can be caused by a combination of factors. For example, someone who is dealing with a serious illness may also be experiencing financial stressors. Or someone who is going through a divorce may also be facing work-related challenges.
While some amount of stress and anxiety is normal and even beneficial, as it can help you to stay alert and motivated, too much can have negative consequences. Prolonged periods of stress can lead to physical health problems such as heart disease, high blood pressure, digestive issues, and sleep problems.
When it feels like the world is against you and everything is going wrong, it can be difficult to cope. Stress and anxiety can leave you feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and hopeless. But there are ways to manage stress and anxiety and regain control of your life.
Here Are Some Tips To Help You Keep Stress And Anxiety At Bay:
1. Understand what causes your stress and anxiety
Are you someone who internalizes stress and worries a lot? Do you have trouble letting go of things? Are you constantly comparing yourself to others? Identifying the root cause of your stress and anxiety is the first step in learning how to manage it. Once you know what’s triggering your feelings of stress and anxiety, you can start to address them.
2. Challenge your negative thoughts
Negative thinking is one of the main contributors to stress and anxiety. If you’re constantly putting yourself down, ruminating on past failures, or worrying about the future, it’s no wonder you’re feeling stressed out! Start by challenging your negative thoughts. When you catch yourself thinking something negative, ask yourself if it’s really true. Chances are, it’s not.
3. Practice relaxation techniques
There are a number of different relaxation techniques you can try to help ease stress and anxiety. Deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and visualization are all effective ways to relax your mind and body. Experiment with different techniques to see what works best for you.
4. Get moving
Exercise is a great way to relieve stress and boost your mood. Even just a few minutes of physical activity can make a big difference. Taking a brisk walk, going for a swim, or taking a yoga class are all great options.
5. Connect with others
Isolation can make stress and anxiety worse. Make an effort to connect with friends, family, or a support group. Talking about your stress and anxiety can help you feel better and may give you some helpful perspectives.
6. Make time for yourself
It’s important to make time for activities that make you happy and help you relax. Whether it’s reading, listening to music, spending time in nature, or taking a yoga class, find an activity that brings you joy and stick with it. Making time for yourself will help reduce stress and improve your overall well-being.
7. Be patient
Learning how to manage stress and anxiety takes time. Be patient with yourself, and don’t expect overnight results. Remember that you’re not alone in this journey and that you can get through this. With a little effort, you can start to feel better and live a more peaceful life.
8. Avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms
It’s also important to avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as alcohol or drug misuse. These can actually make your stress and anxiety worse in the long run. In addition, they can also lead to other health problems. On the other hand, it can be extremely positive to find good coping mechanisms for the things that are affecting your mental health. For example, talking to a professional about penis augmentation procedures or arranging CBT sessions.
9. Make lifestyle changes
Lifestyle changes can also help reduce stress and anxiety. This might involve simplifying your schedule, getting more sleep, eating a healthy diet, or buying Delta 8 Gummies to take the extra edge off. Again, the key is to find what works for you and stick with it. Implementing these changes can be difficult, but the results are worth it.
10. Seek professional help
If you’re struggling with stress or anxiety, it’s important to seek help from a qualified mental health professional. He or she can help you identify the causes of your emotions and develop an effective treatment plan. Treatment may include medication, therapy, lifestyle changes, or a combination of these approaches.
With proper treatment, most people are able to manage their stress and anxiety and live relatively normal lives. However, if left untreated, these conditions can have serious consequences. For example, people with untreated anxiety disorders are at an increased risk of developing depression, substance abuse problems, and even suicidal thoughts or behaviors.
If you’re struggling with stress or anxiety, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. There are many resources available to you, including mental health professionals, support groups, and hotlines. With the right help, you can overcome these challenges and start living the life you want to live.
In Conclusion
There are a variety of things that can cause stress and anxiety. It’s important to identify your triggers and find healthy coping mechanisms. If you’re struggling to manage your stress and anxiety on your own, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. Finally, be sure to take care of yourself both physically and mentally. When you do, you’ll be better equipped to deal with whatever comes your way.
You look up and it’s October, pushing November, where did the time go? I’m doing an annual check of how I’m doing at Looking for the Light. I’ll keep it short, please take a minute to give your feedback.
This morning while taking my coffee pods out of their carousel it hit me how grateful I am. Sometimes we get caught up in the stressors that come our way and life in front of us disappears. The world’s problems slip away from our minds and we need a reset.
Maybe you want to keep an I’m Grateful For Journal, I know many friends that do and they say it’s a great way to start the day. Many formats of journals are out there.
Today I’m Grateful For
LED lightbulbs
Coffee
Free Speach
A roof over my head
Houseplants
My dogs
What are you grateful for? Leave your comments below. Here’s to life!
Looking for the Light 
