How Trauma Sneaks Up On You

This is an example of how trauma represents itself long after you’ve worked out the worst in your head and heart.

People who have read my About Me page know I’ve had my share of trauma and that I’ve worked hard to overcome my demons. The truth is they never go away, some piece in your heart or brain still remembers. It’s not something you feel, it becomes a trigger.

Photo by u0422u0430u0442u044cu044fu043du0430 u0427u0435u0440u043du044bu0448u043eu0432u0430ud83cudf52 on Pexels.com

Here’s some backstory

My husband works for an International company and they’ve gone thru a major reorganization recently. It is a bit chaotic right now, he is working many late-night meetings so his counterparts in the other country can participate. Because of this, my husband doesn’t get a chance to unwind from the stress. Fact of life right?

We all have to find a way to deplete stress from our day in order to feel restored and for our long-term health. Last night he didn’t finish his day, minus looking at emails all night, until after 7PM and he was trying to destress for the day.

I saw him from the corner of my eye, he was maxed out. I said to him not in these exact words, that I was concerned that he was not getting a chance to destress every day and that maybe there were other options the doctor could offer him. Like anxiety meds.

During our conversation, he said, “I’ll think about it”. Sounds harmless right? It triggered me. At that moment, “I’ll think about it” meant, either I’m not going to do it or shut up about it. I got upset and we had a breakdown in communication.

He has no way to know that comment would trigger me, I had no idea.

The post isn’t about how our communication went sideways, it’s an example of what’s under our skin that remains after trauma. It’s impossible to see triggers when you’re still working thru trauma, the nerves and heart are like a live wire. When you’re in the middle of the storm it’s pure survival, whatever it takes.

Those who make it thru the storm come out with deep scars, you have no idea how those scars will represent themselves as you move forward in life.

As we learn what is a trigger, we can better learn how to deal with the emotion it brings up.

Give yourself and other’s some grace in those moments.

Thoughts?

Melinda

8 comments

  1. I’ve honestly never taken my trauma seriously, which is bad I know. I have a lot of triggers, and most result in a anger reaction. Sometimes I discover new ones. You’re right about giving grace to others… they don’t deserve to be on the receiving end, even if they know my battles and demons.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I’ll react to the strangest things… and it’s really intense. I don’t even realize how bad it is until someone is like “whoa are you ok.” I still have a lot of work to do unfortunately.
        I’d love to go years without a trigger; I can’t even make it a week

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s