Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Moving Forward

National Stalking Awareness Month

I don’t think we talk about stalking enough, their arms are far and wide and stalking can get very dangerious including death.

You have to start the conversation early because social media can put your child at risk. Anyone who makes “friends” on the internet is at risk. It’s not just children at risk, anyone can be a target.

I could go on & on about children’s internet safety, so I’ll save that conversation for another post.

 

National Stalking Awareness Month

National Stalking Awareness Month in January was launched in 2004 by the National Center for Victims of Crime. The aim was to increase the public’s interpretation of the crime of stalking. Stalking may seem harmless to some, but history has proven that it can lead to murder among other graver crimes.

Many people use ‘stalking’ as a fun term for digging up details on our crushes through social media, but the true meaning of the word creates fear for those who have been victims of the crime. Stalking is more than just going through the statuses or photos of a person. It is following them around to discover every intimate detail about the life of the victim. Stalking includes phone calls, obsessive text messages, notes left on cars, creepy gifts, or messages on social media platforms.

Since many of these initial stages later lead to kidnapping, sexual violence, or physical attacks, ‘stalking’ is considered a crime, an offense under the Crimes (Domestic and Personal Violence) Act 2007. According to law, the following counts as stalking: “the following of a person about or the watching or frequenting of the vicinity of, or an approach to a person’s place of residence, business or work or any place that a person frequents for any social or leisure activity.”

My Story

I’ve been stalked twice as a child and twice as an adult. The stalking as a child didn’t involve any interaction, they followed me around the apartment complex and the other followed me & my girlfriend home from school every day in their car.

As an adult, the stalking took on a new level, a scary one. I’ve known bloggers who were being stalked online and had to close down their blog. The last experience with stalking is written in a post, in the link in the sentence above.

This may be a harsh way to look at it but it’s true. People on the internet are “non’s”. What I mean by that is people can be anything they want online. We hear about these incindents every day. I didn’t always look at it this way but I’m older and can see the damage social media can do.

I knew three of my stalkers, I don’t know if there’s a statistic out there for it but my guess is many know their stalkers.

Melinda

References:

National Today

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Blogger Highlight- clover and ivy

Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their site with you. This week we highlight a new blogger, clover and ivy.

clover and ivy

The day-to-day ordinary parts of life come and go, and these events often pass as if they’re not consequential. Then there’s a blink, an instant we observe something ordinary that brings solace and breathes life into us, regardless of the news of the day.

These restorative ordinary parts of life are often what we find outside, in nature, and that’s what I aim to present in my blog. Trusty elements in the natural repetitive cycles we can note and depend on for comfort and reassurance. Elements we can go to when we need grounding. My tiny garden, the blue jay outside my window, water moving over worn stones in a running creek in the middle of the woods, the scattering of bright stars set in a dark sky among the top branches of the tallest trees, a fresh green leaf at the beginning of spring. These are elements that tell us, life is okay, things are as they should be.

You must stop by Clover and Ivy, it’s like taking a self-care moment for yourself.

Melinda

Looking for the Light

 

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

The Stigma of Addiction — Guest Blogger diary of a depressed graduate student

It was a hot summer in a small town on the Cape when, as I was holding my mother’s hand, I saw a homeless woman straight ahead who looked ill and was asking for money. To this day, I cannot remember much of my childhood, yet I still can picture that woman’s face.  I asked […]

The Stigma of Addiction — diary of a depressed graduate student
Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

Fun Facts

 

Thanks for stopping by today. I love hearing your comments each week after learning some interesting things.

There are parts of Africa in all four hemispheres

The cornea is one of only two parts of the human body without blood vessels

The world’s first animated feature film was made in Argentina

German chocolate cake was invented in Texas

Marla Gibbs continued to work as a flight attendant for two years after being cast on a hit TV show

 

Enjoy!

Melinda

Reference:

Readers Digest

 

Celebrate Life · DIY · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

5 Creative Projects To Help Focus Your Mind

A creative project is a great way to focus your mind and spend some downtime. Art, gardening, craft, and DIY are all very therapeutic. You’ll feel more relaxed and gain some perspective. Creativity is the perfect way to channel stress and anxiety. Put your overactive mind to good use and make something you’ll cherish forever. There are plenty of different kinds of ideas depending on your interests. Here are five creative projects to help focus your mind.

Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Pexels.com

Paint by numbers

Paint by Numbers is an example of a trendy craft gone viral during lockdown. It is incredibly therapeutic and relaxing, and not just for kids anymore. Even though you’re following instructions, it still requires a lot of patience and hard work. Paint by numbers is a good compromise if you like art but aren’t necessarily an experienced painter. You’ll be able to enjoy the results without being a natural artist. You can display your painting proudly for all your family and friends.

Winter Flowers

There are several reasons why gardening is so therapeutic. It’s a great way to get back in touch with nature and gain some perspective. Sun and fresh air also go a long way. Even when the seasons start to change, this doesn’t mean you have to be a fair-weather garden. There are plenty of winter flowers you can plant such as pansies and jasmine that grow all year round. If you want to keep it inside you could even build your own mini zen garden, or decorate the house with plants.

Customize your car

If you’re the type that likes to get your hands dirty then why not sink yourself into a project in the garage? Customize your car to your liking this fall. Automotive Stuff is an example of a site where you can find your own parts. You can even trade car parts online with other car owners. If you prefer, start small with the interior, or even work under the hood. If you’re passionate about cars you could invest in a used vehicle to revamp.

Make your own bath products

You’d be surprised how many simple products you can make at home. All you need is some essential oils and a couple of household ingredients, and you can make a variety of bath products. This is a more eco-friendly option as well, not to mention thrifty. If you want to use your creativity to make something you’re going to use, then bath products are ideal. You can even give them as gifts to your family and friends.

Upcycle your furniture

Whether you decide to flip the furniture or keep it, it’s easy to see why upcycling has become such a popular pastime. You could invest in some second-hand furniture at your local thrift store and turn it into a creative project. For example, you could find an old photo frame, print your Domonique Rodgers NC State print, and hang it on the wall. Creating Upcycling is a fun way to revamp furniture or repurpose other items. Perhaps you can find a new use for some old things around the house. It’s very therapeutic and satisfying. 

This a collaborative post. 

Melinda

Repost

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

The DEA Is Coming After Your Medication Next

I had an Orville moment while talking to my pharmacist last week. One of the medications I take is on long-term backorder, WTF? No surprise, the DEA is now going after Mental Illness patients. They failed at curbing deaths from street drugs, let’s see how they can mismanage this focus project.

My pharmacist said the DEA went to manufacturers last year and ask them to cut or curb the production of my much-needed and addictive medication. Pharmacies don’t have a product their clients need and have a legal prescription for, but the DEA which has no medical background is coming in and cherry-picking drugs, then overriding the doctors and leaving patients without medication.

I’m scrambling now for an alternative. I’ve taken this drug for at least 20 years and need it to get out of bed. The DEA has hit the stimulant group first, it’s bad enough I can’t get the drug but think about parents who can’t get the medication for their kids. There’s a huge group who take stimulant drugs for ADD/ADHD. 

I don’t know if the Truepill case is where it started from, no clue. Because of their unlawful practices, many will be left high and dry. I wholeheartedly believe unethical doctors like this will need to get the harsher sentence possible for the harm they’ve done. 

Photo by Cameron Gawn on Pexels.com

 

DEA Serves Order to Show Cause on Truepill Pharmacy for its Involvement in the Unlawful Dispensing of Prescription Stimulants 

WASHINGTON — Today, DEA served an Order to Show Cause on Truepill, a retail pharmacy that is alleged to have wrongfully filled thousands of prescriptions for stimulants used in the treatment of Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Truepill was the pharmacy for telehealth companies, including Cerebral, that marketed ADHD treatments, including Adderall ® and its generic forms, directly to consumers using Internet advertisements and social media. Cerebral arranged for patients to receive prescriptions for ADHD treatments through a telehealth visit, and for Truepill to fill those prescriptions.

 “DEA will relentlessly pursue companies and pharmacies that seek to profit from unlawfully dispensing powerful and addictive controlled substances at the expense of the safety and health of the American people,” said DEA Administrator Anne Milgram. “The men and women of the DEA remain committed to ensuring that every American can access essential medicines when they are lawfully prescribed and dispensed.”

According to the Order to Show Cause, between September 2020 and September 2022, Truepill filled more than 72,000 controlled substance prescriptions, 60 percent of which were for stimulants, including generic forms of Adderall®. In numerous instances, Truepill dispensed controlled substances pursuant to prescriptions that were not issued for a legitimate medical purpose in the usual course of professional practice. An investigation into Truepill’s operations revealed that the pharmacy filled prescriptions that were: unlawful by exceeding the 90-day supply limits; and/or written by prescribers who did not possess the proper state licensing.

An Order to Show Cause is an administrative action to determine whether a DEA Certificate of Registration should be revoked. Until a determination is made, this action does not affect a registrant’s ability to handle or distribute a controlled substance.

If you take a medication that is addictive or has to stay in safe at the pharmacy, your drug may be next. I see them going after stimulant drugs, sleep drugs, and Xanax. I’m pulling this out of thin air, I don’t have any data from the DEA other than this article. This is my best guess. I hope I’m wrong because I take all of those types of drugs too. 

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Deep Thoughts

In this fast-paced social media world, it can be difficult to find the time to look within or back in time. I hope you find these quotes and questions interesting. So glad you stopped by today!

Continue reading “Deep Thoughts”
Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Blogger Highlight-Smirk Pretty

Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their site with you. This week we highlight a new blogger, Smirk Pretty.

Smirk Pretty

 I design rich, active learning environments and facilitate conversations that draw on the collaborative capacity of people and teams. My diverse approaches are grounded in reflective practice as we come together to articulate our purpose and the values driving us. I seek to cultivate the relationship-oriented leadership skills of students and teams, engage questions about our shared future, and create opportunities to put innovative ideas to work. With a commitment to mentoring emerging leaders, my current focus is on improving educational equity and drawing voices from the margins to the center of every critical conversation.

Her blog is very unique and you will want to see her site.  

Melinda

Looking for the Light

 

Celebrate Life · Men & Womens Health

Happy Birthday Granny

Many of you know how much I love my granny. She’s the most inspirational person I know. She survived living in West Dallas when it was unincorporated land. It was just outside Downtown Dallas. West Dallas was where the poor and the criminals lived. 

She went crossed eyes at three years old, her whole life was dependent on others. She was not happy about having to ask. She didn’t want to owe anyone. You can understand the attitude if you lived in her neighborhood. 

In 1930 her father died from Phenomena, hard to say if was work-related. Her father was digging out the foundation for the Sears Tower. I have a postcard that shows using horses to chart off the rocks and dirt. 

My granny is the youngest and was living at home when her father died. Her brothers were on the dark side of the law, they helped feed the two.

There are many actions you’ve taken that are inspirations but this story I love the most is.

Granny married at 17 years old and her marriage was over shortly after my father was born. Taking the Trolly to work in freezing cold. It’s also WWII by then, you couln’t even change jobs, all jobs related to the war were frozen. She raised my ADHD dad by herself until he was 10 years old and she marries my gramps. We never talked about it but I’m sure there were some hard times with my father adjusting.

My granny would clean houses to make extra money for my clothes. One day she fell from the 2nd story and crushed her ankles and feet. This may have stopped someone else but you were determined to get out of the wheelchair.  I don’t recall how long it took but you were walking with a walker soon.

Close to 20 years later, granny woke up and could not walk. Since we had no idea what the problem was we took it day by day. The only thing I could do was make it fun so I acted like her wheelchair was a race car. I would push her down a straight section and hop on to see how far we could go, I would make all types of car noises like revving your engines. She loved out.

Nothing broke your heart like Dady’s suicide, but you didn’t give up on life.

I held your head so close to mine, I wanted to feel the relief live her body.

I love you!

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Just Pondering

Bella Grace Field Guide by Stampington

Happiness looks like?

Happiness feels like:

Happiness sounds like:

Happiness smells like:

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

Fun Facts

 

Thanks for stopping by today. I love hearing your comments each week after learning some interesting things.

The world’s oldest wooden wheel has been around for more than 5,000 years

Dead skin cells are a main ingredient in household dust

Sudan has more pyramids than any country in the world

The bumblebee bat is the world’s smallest mammal

The circulatory system is more than 60,000 miles long

Enjoy!

Melinda

Reference:

Readers Digest

 

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

Bursitis and Fibromyalgia

I’ve been struggling for years with Bursitis in both hips, and while steroid shots help they don’t last long. Two weeks ago I had the Fibromyalgia flare, the worst I’ve ever had and it threw me for a loop. My hips were hurting so bad I could not walk without severe pain, and then the pain moved to my knee for one day. 

As the pain moved around my body, I realized this was from the flare and decided to research Bursitis and Fibromyalgia, let’s see if Bursitis is common in patients with Fibromyalgia.

Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels.com

Fibromyalgia-related bursitis

There have been reports of bursitis occurring in association with fibromyalgia. There are a number of painful soft-tissue conditions that are seen alongside fibromyalgia. Rotator cuff tendonitis, pes anserinus bursitis, and lateral epicondylitis are particularly common in patients with primary and secondary fibromyalgia, according to research.

Types of bursitis that have been reported in patients with fibromyalgia include:

  • Olecranon bursitis – elbow bursitis affecting the bursa found at the tip of the elbow.
  • Pes anserinus bursitis – bursitis affecting the bursa found beneath the knee on the inner side of the leg
  • Subacromial bursitis – shoulder bursitis causing pain in the upper shoulder or upper third of the arm, limiting shoulder movement without pain
  • Trochanteric bursitis – bursitis affecting the hip bursae.

Trochanteric bursitis is a common condition in patients living with fibromyalgia. Trochanteric bursitis develops when two particular bursae in the hip become inflamed. One bursa is located on the greater trochanter and the other, called the iliopsoas bursa, is found on the inside of the hip in the groin.

Typically, olecranon bursitis is seen less commonly in conjunction with fibromyalgia.

In one study of 554 patients with fibromyalgia, it was found that the patients reported a higher incidence of bursitis.

Treatment

Bursitis generally gets better on its own. Conservative measures, such as rest, ice and taking a pain reliever, can relieve discomfort. If conservative measures don’t work, you might require:

  • Medication. If the inflammation in your bursa is caused by an infection, your doctor might prescribe an antibiotic.
  • Therapy. Physical therapy or exercises can strengthen the muscles in the affected area to ease pain and prevent recurrence.
  • Injections. A corticosteroid drug injected into the bursa can relieve pain and inflammation in your shoulder or hip. This treatment generally works quickly and, in many cases, one injection is all you need.
  • Assistive device. Temporary use of a walking cane or other device will help relieve pressure on the affected area.
  • Surgery. Sometimes an inflamed bursa must be surgically drained, but only rarely is surgical removal of the affected bursa necessary.

A small poll was conducted by Lee Good from Fibro Connect’s Facebook page and 51% of people with Fibromyalgia had Bursitis. I’m not surprised by the results after reading the above information. 

If you are experiencing pain in one of the areas listed above go see your Orthopedic Surgeon for evaluation. Most General Practice Doctors do not know how to give Bursa shots. It’s a two-part process and the shot is painful. 

I’m not a medical doctor, I’m speaking for experience and research.

Melinda

References:

News-Medical

Mayo Clinic

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

23 Small Things to Improve Your Wellness — Guest Blogger Olive Tree Saints

Small changes can really add up when it comes to wellness. Here are 23 small things you can do this year to improve your wellness.

23 Small Things to Improve Your Wellness — Olive Tree Saints
Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

January Writing Prompts

The January Writing Prompts are hosted by Sheryl at A Chronic Voice. Be sure to check out her blog, the archives are choked full of information on Chronic Illnesses.

 

Here are the prompts:

SUMMARISING

CROSSING

MOVING

REBUILDING

EXPECTING

I’m using Moving, Expecting, and Rebuilding.

Moving

After spending most of last year sick, sicker than normal, I’m ready to move forward. This month the Tardive Dyskinesia finally went away after 8-9 months. I don’t know if it ran its course or if all the prayers did the healing. My bottom teeth have some issues that require my dentist to look at. 

Expecting

I’m always expecting a good day and if it doesn’t happen, I’ll expect it the next day. I only look back to learn from my experiences. The same goes for when I see a new doctor, stay positive until they dismiss you. I was dismissed by my last Rheumatologist before she even did the exam, she said I wouldn’t need to see her again. My husband and I thought she didn’t listen to anything I said. Then she diagnosed me with Sicca and didn’t even tell me or write me a prescription. I do keep expecting the good.

Rebuilding

Due to my Immune Disorder, we’re still in full-blown Covid mode. I don’t feel comfortable eating out or being in large crowds, the only places I’ve been since Covid started are the doctor’s office and Starbucks drive-thru. That’s limiting and it makes me yearn for my younger years before illnesses. I work hard to be thankful for what I have and acknowledge staying indoors will end. I bought a bike for my Christmas but balance problems and dizziness prevent me from enjoying the good days. I’m working to rebuild a life, a fullfilling life. 

Melinda

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

The Chronius Health APP Is All You Need To Manage Your Chronic Illness

There are a number of health apps out there but they don’t cover all of your health needs. Chronius Health is an all-encompassing app that guides you thru your health journey. The app was born out of frustration and a desire for a more manageable patient experience. 

About the Founder

At age 25, our founder Danielle was thriving, working a dream job as an economic policy advisor at the White House. She was thriving except for one small thing — nagging fatigue and joint pain. She assumed it was due to her long work hours, but it just wouldn’t go away — that fatigue she felt in her bones. 

Danielle never stopped being her own advocate, and, armed with medical journal articles, she identified the cause of her new symptoms, requested new testing, and ended up with two new inflammatory disease diagnoses — all it turns out, stemming from her initial autoimmune disease. 

The breaking point came when Danielle ended up in the ICU for a second time. While lying in her hospital bed she wished for someone who could guide her through this health journey. Someone who could organize her data, who could help her find the right doctor, who could explain the complicated medical terms, and who could light the pathway for the next steps in her diagnosis and disease management process. With millions of others facing similar diagnoses, she knew she couldn’t be alone in her desire for an easier patient experience. From that hospital bed, the idea for Chronius was born. 

About Chronius

Chronius empowers patients with chronic conditions to take charge of their care by automating health data collection and organization, streamlining appointment preparation, and providing a map for each patient’s care journey. Having a chronic illness is hard enough, and by building a platform for patients, by patients, Danielle hopes that every patient — whether they are facing an uncertain diagnosis, or trying to find a treatment that works, or just need help managing the “full time job” of being chronically ill — will get the support and relief they deserve.

Being a patient doesn’t have to be a full-time job.

Chronius Services

  • Integrated 360 integrated health history
  • Syptomtom & medication tracking and insight
  • 1-click appointment preparation
  • Personalized  care journey maps
  • One on one Care guides
  • Vetted medical context and education

Free Tools

  • Get instant access to 130 free videos to guide your POTS exercise program
  • Free tools and resources for caregivers. Because you deserve support on your caregiving journey
The Chronius Health App is in beta-testing by chronic illness patients like you. They are set to go live in three months, set your calendar. Check out the website to see more information. 
 
Melinda
 

 

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

January Awareness Days

There are some great Awareness Days during the month of January. This is a condensed version if you want a complete list search for January Awareness Days and you’ll find several lists that are much longer.

 

Cervical Health Awareness Month

March of Dimes Birth Defects Prevention Month

National Eye Care Month

National Stalking Awareness Month

Thyroid Awareness Month

Raynaud’s Awareness Month

Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month

National Obesity Awareness Week 10th-16th

National Human Trafficking Awareness Day  11th

European Cervical Cancer Prevention Week 27th

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

Blogger Highlight-Issababy Creates

Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their site with you. This week we highlight a new blogger, Issababy Creates.

Issababy Creates

This perhaps the least specific blog you will find. My interests include: DIY projects, Yoga, writing, photography, reading, camping, hiking, or something altogether
different depending on my current mood. I’ve never been pigeon holed into one category so neither is my blog.

Her blog is so much fun, you have to check her out.

Melinda

Looking for the Light

 

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Book Review I Can’t Have That I Have Allergies by Katie Kinsella

 I want to give a special thanks to Managing Editor Soraya Nair for sending me I Can’t Have That I Have Allergies by Katie Kinsella for review. 

Blurb

All the animals in the woodland are headed to a party – that is, except Hedgehog, who can’t attend because of his food allergies. But one of his kind friends, Deer, decides to learn more about his condition, and she comes up with a plan so that Hedgehog can safely celebrate, too!

I Can’t Have That, I Have Allergies is a sensitively written story by a mother whose daughter has life-threatening allergies. It will enlighten those unfamiliar with the severity of such allergies, and it will help children who suffer from them to know that they aren’t alone.

My Thoughts

Have you missed school on a special day? You were probably sad that you could not participate in the fun. The Hedgehog has a similar story, he has severe allergies which limit what he can eat. It’s not fun going to a birthday party and not being able to eat cake.

As each of the Hedgehog’s friends stop in on the way to a birthday party, he explains why he can’t go to the party. His friends go on their way but they have a big surprise for him. They cared so much for their friend, they contacted his mother to get a list of what he can’t eat and they made a cake he could. They show up at Hedgehog’s house and have a big Birthday party which allows the Hedgehog to have fun and not worry about what he can or can’t eat. 

The book does an excellent job of describing Allergies children can understand. I think the bigger picture is when Hedgehog share’s with his friends why he can’t go, they didn’t abandon him, they embraced him instead. It’s important for kids to know they can talk about their problems instead of keeping everything in.

For every parent who has a child with Allergies of any kind, this is the perfect book to show if you share what is going on with your friends they will have your back.

Trigger Publishing

TriggerHub.org is the first mental health organization of its kind. We are bringing mental health recovery and balance to millions of people worldwide through the power of our books.

We have built a first-class resource of curated books produced and published in-house to create a unique collection of mental health recovery titles unrivaled in quality and selection. We work with experts, psychologists, doctors, and coaches to produce our books, but we also work with real people looking to share their stories to reach out to others and provide hope, understanding, and compassion. These brave authors also aim to raise awareness of mental health’s “human” face and its impact on everyday lives. 

Melinda

Looking for the Light

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Book Review The A-Z Self-Care Guide For Kids By Dr. Alexandra Barnett

I want to thank Trigger Publishing Editor Andrea Marchiano for sharing The A-Z Self-Care For Kids by Dr. Alexandra Barnett. One thing I’ve learned from reviewing children’s books is what a great resource they are for parents and children alike. It’s a great way to teach, and sharing stories will help your children relate.

TriggerHub.org is the first mental health organization of its kind. We are bringing mental health recovery and balance to millions of people worldwide through the power of our books.

We have built a first-class resource of curated books produced and published in-house to create a unique collection of mental health recovery titles unrivaled in quality and selection. We work with experts, psychologists, doctors, and coaches to produce our books, but we also work with real people looking to share their stories to reach out to others and provide hope, understanding, and compassion. These brave authors also aim to raise awareness of mental health’s “human” face and its impact on everyday lives. 

Melinda

Looking for the Light

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Deep Thoughts

In this fast-paced social media world, it can be difficult to find the time to look within or back in time. I hope you find these quotes and questions interesting. So glad you stopped by today!

How do you wish to be remembered?

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

How To Talk To Friends & Family About Your Chronic Illness

One of the phrases I hear often is people don’t understand what is wrong with me. I’m going to share a way to have better communication with friends and family.

Photo by ELEVATE on Pexels.com

Think about this

You’re a new student taking a class you know nothing about. The professor is talking fast and breezing thru the material, you don’t even know what the words mean. You’re in a state of frustration and you’re overwhelmed.

Now think about your friends and family, do you brain dump on someone with every Chronic Illness you have, every symptom and side effect? That is too much information. People can’t remember and they don’t care like you do.

How to

The most productive way to educate people on what Chronic Illness you have is to think about the most debilitating illness you have. Now, ask yourself if this illness going to potentially interfere with the relationship. Those are the only illnesses you need to talk about.

Photo by ELEVATE on Pexels.com

Take the one illness that may interfere with your relationship to talk about. Wait for the right setting, if they are working or on the phone, you’ve lost them. Meeting face-to-face is best. When the time is right let them know you have something important to talk about.

Then give a very brief overview of your illness and how it might impact them. Like having to cancel at the last minute, not being able to go, or having to cut the trip short. Don’t go into the symptoms or side effects of medication, you’ve lost them. If they have questions that’s great if not, that’s ok too. Maybe at the end of the conversation say, I have other Chronic Illnesses and I’ll share them on another day.

Then a couple months later talk with them about the second illness that may interfere with your relationship. Keep it short. I would not share more than three of the most debilitating illnesses. If you talk about your illnesses in great detail all the time you run the risk of being thought of as a hypochondriac.

I’m not a communications expert, take what you like from the post and throw the rest away.

Melinda

 

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Blogger Highlight-That Scared Little Girl

Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their site with you. This week we highlight a new blogger, That Scared Little Girl.

That Scared Little Girl

…where stories find healing

This site is the heart cry of a girl who longs to be seen and heard. In the spirit of finding healing and wholeness, she aches for her stories to be heard. Oh how she wishes someone had seen her as a girl.

This is the site where her stories will be told. A safe place. A tell-all of sorts. Things you don’t read in your informational or self-help books. The stories that make you uncomfortable.

The things she wishes people had known.

Check her out!

Melinda

Looking for the Light

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

My 2022 Book Reviews

Overcome

How Do You Feel

Understanding Human Nature

The Packing List

My Mind Won’t Shut Up

Yes, You Can Talk About Mental Health At Work

Love Interrupted

Mind Over Mountain

Life After Care

Talk

365 Quotes to Accelerate Your Career and Find Balance in Life

Degloved: Every Scar Tells A Story

Amie’s Party

Monkey Mind

Me, Myself and Ana

This is Mandy

I hope you enjoyed each book as much as I did.

Melinda

Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

How to Navigate a Marriage Breakup With Kids

If your marriage has broken down and you have children together, it can be a complex situation to navigate; still, it is not impossible, and there are some skillful ways to make the process easier and more pleasant for everyone. Read on to find out how to avoid arguing with your ex-partner, how to hire a quality divorce lawyer, and how to manage your emotions on the way.  

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Key Takeaways: Marriage Breakup 

  • Learn to avoid talking about the past and triggering past trauma that you both have
  • Understand when to argue your case and stand your ground and when to walk away 
  • Work closely with your children to help them manage their emotions and move on 
  • Learning how to understand your ex-partner can help to resolve any difficult emotions 
  • It’s helpful to maintain a healthy emotional and physical distance from your partner

Don’t talk about the past 

You and your ex-partner have a lot of history; chances are you have spent many years together before the divorce, and you know your personalities, reactions, and thought processes pretty well. But when it comes to divorce, it’s a good idea to let go of the past and treat the new arrangements independently. Learn to respect your ex-partner’s decisions and life choices. 

Because you understand a lot about your ex-partner, you can predict their behavior, lifestyle choices, and decision-making, especially when it comes to the children. At the same time, they will understand your patterns and weak points. There is a tendency to bring up the past and use it as leverage, but it is not a healthy dynamic. Avoid these issues with quality divorce lawyers.  

Know when to argue 

Arguments are unavoidable, even after divorce. When you have children involved in a family breakup, there is a lot to organize on a daily basis, even when you are not on the best of terms. Of course, this can lead to arguments and fallout that only serve to make the situation harder.   

Some battles are worth fighting, while others are worth avoiding; over time, you will learn to recognize the difference between them and when to stand your ground. If you find yourself reacting or overreacting, don’t beat yourself up; instead, forgive yourself and learn for next time.  

Learn to stand your ground 

It’s important to stand your ground on some issues. If you have made an arrangement with your ex-partner about looking after the kids or attending an event and they let you down, you don’t want it to happen again. In this case, you are within your rights to stand your ground and insist that you resolve a pattern of behavior that could become an issue in your future life situation

If the issue is a one-off and unlikely to happen repeatedly, there’s no point in starting a fight or falling out over it; you can simply let it go. There are good and bad ways to stand your ground; what you don’t want to do is to become reactive and defensive; instead, imagine you have a strong back and a soft front – a bit like a turtle -, and you can stand your ground successfully.     

Talk with your children 

The innocent party in any divorce is the children, who have their own lives and emotions to manage and navigate; the difficulty is that children don’t have the same experience and resources to manage emotions that adults do. Make sure your children have lots of support.

Talk to your children about the situation and make sure they know that it has nothing to do with them and they are still loved by both parents. Give them plenty of opportunities to ask questions and consider offering them some outside support so that they can talk openly to a third party. 

Avoid the legal entanglements

When it comes to a family breakup with children, legal entanglements are highly likely, chances are there will be a custody battle of some kind involved, and you will all have to go to court.

Instead of hiring an expensive lawyer and going to court, which will cost money and time, you could talk to your partner amicably and come to some arrangement that will keep everyone happy. Chances are there will be some debates and fallouts, but remember, the welfare of the children is the most important aspect of any child custody arrangement in or out of a courtroom.  

Practice forgiving your ex 

You and your partner have decided to divorce, and even if there is a clear-cut reason for this, it’s never totally one party’s fault. Chances are there are failures and grievances on both sides, so there is plenty of room for understanding and forgiveness. Forgiving someone is often possible. 

Forgiving someone is the step you need to make to move on with your life and resolve a lot of the bitterness and suffering that has accumulated over the years. Remember, forgiving someone that has hurt you is a way to bring more peace, joy, and love into your new lifestyle.   

Try to understand your ex 

Forgiving your ex-partner might seem difficult, but it is much easier when you know how to understand them and other people in general. We spend so much of our lives inhabiting our personal world that it can be hard to see things from someone else’s point of view; this is why clashes and disagreements happen on such a regular basis between family and friends.  

Attending court can be difficult and stressful for everyone, and it can be expensive for parents; if possible, find a way to avoid these legal entanglements and come to an arrangement outside. 

Understanding is the pathway to compassion and a more harmonious way of life; it’s the best way to overcome the hardships of a relationship breakup and move on with your life, allowing your ex-partner to move on with theirs. When it’s an ex-partner, there is an even better opportunity to understand their point of view because you know them and their needs.   

Try not to get defensive 

If your ex-partner is talking to you or pushes your buttons, your natural reaction might be defensiveness leading to an argument of a fallout. When you feel like you are becoming defensive, it’s time to recognize that and step back. A feeling of defensiveness will lead to a better understanding of yourself and your triggers, which can be useful for self-improvement

Maintain a healthy distance 

If you have some children to think about, it can be tempting to live close to your ex-partner for logistics and convenience, but this is a double-edged sword because it makes it more difficult for you both to move on with your lives. If you have responsibilities and arrangements, find a way to maintain a healthy distance from your ex-partner by living in a nearby town and traveling more. 

Learn to manage jealousy 

Jealousy is inevitable following a family breakup; there might be some jealousy around who the children gravitate towards, and there could also be jealousy around how your ex-partner is moving on with their life. Either way, jealousy is simply an emotion that can be managed and transformed into something more positive using skillful attention and attitudes of mindfulness.   

Focus on Financial Planning

When you are navigating a marriage breakup, you know that your financial situation is about to change. While certainly, a divorce can put a strain on your personal finances, it is important to act with a clear mind and set clear financial goals that will protect the entire family during rainy days. 

For example, you may start an emergency or college fund, and use reliable PHP Agency reviews to understand whether a life insurance policy is something you should consider. If you are unsure, working with a financial advisor can help you make the best decisions for your situation. 

Final Thoughts 

A family breakup is never easy, but there are good and bad ways of working with the processes to ensure the situation is resolved in a helpful and progressive way. Using the advice in the article, you can ensure that your family remains amicable and happy in the short and long term. 

This is a collaborative post.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

It’s 2023, Now What?

I start out the New Year with high expectations tempered with grace. My Chronic Illnesses may slow me down some days but I won’t let them break me. This is where grace comes in, if I’m not able to work towards my goals today, I have tomorrow. It’s important to give others grace too.

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Many of you know already that I don’t believe in Resolutions, they are dreams and dreams don’t come true. Instead of Resolutions make goals along with a plan on what you need to get them completed. Resolutions are like believing in the Easter Bunny.

If you want to move your life forward, you need goals and beyond goals is the meat of how are you going to get things done. I work to keep the number of goals to 10-15. This is a workable number to throw yourself into to make your life better.

I’m so glad you stopped by today and look forward to seeing you throughout 2023.

Here’s to tomorrow!

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Fun · Men & Womens Health

Happy New Year

Before we start celebrating, let’s talk about drinking and driving. Plan your drive home if you like to drink a few extra. It’s a terrible thought of hurting yourself or others, let alone kill someone. It’s a mistake that could haunt you for the rest of your life.

I want to see you alive!

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Let’s celebrate!!!!!!! 2023 has arrived for some and others are waiting to see what the New Year brings. The start of a new year is a great time to reflect on the past and reset your compass for success in the new year.

I will be enjoying a very low-key evening with some good eats and tucked in to sleep long before midnight.

See you next year, here’s to you!

Melinda