It’s time to break the stigma around depression. Depression is a serious condition that can affect your mood, thinking, and behaviour. For me, it came out of nowhere. It took a lot of time for me to recognise what it was and eventually reach out for help. I feared what it meant. I feared what […]
What are the 5 effects of depression? — Renee Speaking
Hey! So glad you stopped by today, I look forward to your comments each week.
Melinda
In this fast-paced social media world, it can be difficult to find the time to look within or back in time. I hope you find these quotes and questions interesting. So glad you stopped by today!
I am so glad this is now an Awareness topic. Caregiving is the hardest job you’ll ever have. It’s frustrating, heartbreaking, nerve-racking, and exhausting. The reward comes in very small bites until they pass on. Looking back at taking care of both of my grandparents before they died, I’m so glad I was there till the end. Those memories are the last ones I have and now I can look back at laugh at the small things.
A recent study says that 26.5% of all American adults today are family caregivers.[2]
A 2012 report by the Alzheimer’s Association states that 15 million of those family caregivers are caring for a person with Alzheimer’s disease or another dementia.[3]
It is projected that nearly one in five United States citizens will be 65 years of age or older by the year 2030. By 2050 this older population is expected to double in size.[5]
A survey by AARP in 2010 states that “29% of the U.S. adult population, or 65.7 million people, are caregivers, including 31% of all households. These caregivers provide an average of 20 hours of care per week.”[7]
Caregiver stress explodes when the caregiver can’t get much of a break – whether it is emotional or physical, a needed break is what makes it possible for the caregiver to function. The Be Well Bistro Caregiver’s Corner offers strategies to support the caregiver such as:
Tips for avoiding burnout are to know the signs and have a plan in place to combat the burnout. Some signs:
Be sure to look for local resources for help.
Being a caregiver changes the dynamic of the relationship and you can expect pushback. My gramps did not accept he was dying until two days before he died. He was a strong proud man and in the beginning, I had to tread lightly while taking over some of his daily tasks.
I have found caregiving the most frustrating and rewarding. I think of all the extra time we spent, time that would not have been spent if he were not dying. Our relationship changed, I became more of the parent and nag.
Melinda
I left my General Practitioner today feeling defeated, angry, and very tired. My labs are off, I have an infection and she can’t give me anything for my Sojerns. I was already in a bad head space when I arrived because I knew she couldn’t help me with my chronic issues.
The Rheumatologist that diagnosed me with Sojern’s dissed any treatment. Now I’m scheduled to see my Immunologist to see what he can do. There are two drugs that help produce more saliva, I’m going to ask for an Rx unless he has another plan.
This is how bad it is, my glands are swollen hard as a rock it restricts my throat so eating and taking my meds is a big task. I can take a drink and before my bottle hits the coaster my mouth is completely dry. If not taken care of it will take its toll on your teeth.
I’ve survived a tsunami flare that lasted three weeks, it set off bursitis in my hips and there were days I had severe pain walking and I still have a limp. I spent most of the three weeks in bed, staying up only a few hours a day.
After taking medication for four months I decided the side effects were too much. I was falling, having dizzy spells and my balance was off. It didn’t help the problem so I am now going to the dentist for a mouth guard. For now, I deal with my tongue being in overdrive moving around my mouth.
I’m in a bad headspace right now.
Melinda
I was your little girl from the beginning and your love shined thru until your last breath. We had so much fun watching beauty contests when I was little, you would watch me practice my walk thru the living room. It’s so funny that you gave me a football helmet for my 2nd birthday, I love looking at the photo of me riding my tricycle in the backyard with it on.
The examples you set are with me today, you didn’t tell me what to do, you quitely showed me. The garden was a big part of who we were, always working the dirt, planting, and then canning. The garden was the perfect way to teach a teenager with no patience, to sow and wait. I think life is like that, we have to put in the time to get the reward.
I thank God he brought you into my life, you’re the only father I had. Thank you for taking me in as a teenager, you changed my life.
Hugs
Melinda
I’m so excited to see that Sherly at A Chronic Voice is feeling better and hosting the November Writing Prompts this month.
The linkups are a monthly get together for anyone with a chronic illness, mental disorder or disability. An opportunity to share, to listen, and to learn from one another through shared writing prompts. I also think it’s a great way to provide insight into life with chronic pain, from many different points of view.
All you have to do is write using at least three of the writing prompts listed below, and publish it on your blog, or to a free writing platform like Medium. Then click on the blue ‘Add Link’ button to add your blog post to this page. Voilà, you’re now part of the linkup party!
Finishing
Fatiguing
Easing
Comforting
Wishing
I bought a bicycle to cruise around the neighborhood and the park nearby. Bike riding was one of my favorite hobbies growing up and in my early 30s. My balance is wacky so I don’t know how this will work. My goal is to ride to the park with my camera to enjoy the ducks and squirrels. This is my motivation to get some exercise on the days I’m able.
I have been experiencing Fibromyalgia flares back to back for close to two months and fatigue has ruled my world. I have spent anywhere between a half to a full day in bed almost every day. When I’m not in bed, it’s such a treat. The pain in my hips has left me unable to put pressure on my hip which means I limp a lot. This has been a Tsunami flare, in all the years I’ve had Fibromyalgia, I have never encountered one like this.
I only go out of the house for doctor’s appointments, which leaves me bored on days I feel good. I’ve started adding to my collection of houseplants. I went from seven plants to over 30! This has been a lifesaver, I get to watch the growth and enjoy it when a baby shows up. I’ve tried my hand at succulents for the first time to mixed results and bought a Rubber Tree. They only need attention once a week and so far that has not been an issue for me. Now I have my own garden in the house during winter instead of dead plants.
Melinda
Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their site with you. This week we highlight a new blogger, Bridgette Tales.
I started this blog in 2013 with the words: “Once upon a time there was a mother who wanted to do something other than dishes and laundry.”
This version of myself feels sort of familiar.
It ended with the words: “She took a deep breath and just went for it.”
This I recognize.
I’ve spent the last nearly decade breathing in and plunging forward.
I’ve been as transparent as I can, exploring motherhood, depression, and body image. There are things I withhold to protect my friends and family, and I’m attempting to explore new territory with my fiction writing. The blog, like me, is a work in progress.
Be sure to check out Bridgette Tales.
Melinda
Self-care is something we can do every day for our mental and physical health. It doesn’t have to be big steps because small steps are sometimes all we can give. Here are some of the daily self-care habits I’ve built.
I’m always searching for a great lip balm and have found myself disappointed most of the time. At last, Henne has shown me what lip balm can be. It last and doesn’t crust around the mouth and a little goes a long way. Don’t let the price fool you, you get what you pay for.
I have waffled on the importance of Probiotics in my diet because I never felt any different or saw any changes. This product contains post-biotics which help to complete the cycle of digestion. I’ve been taking them now for about three months and believe they are making a difference.
Self-care is essential for our mental health and it’s more important if you have a chronic illness. Here’s a previous Things I’m Loving.
Melinda
Enjoy!
Melinda
Reference:
https://www.thefactsite.com/top-100-random-funny-facts/2/
Hey! So glad you stopped by today, I look forward to your comments each week.
Melinda
I can’t thank military members and their families enough for the daily sacrifices they make large and small. The military has not only kept America safe and strong, but they’ve also taken those skills to the workplace and beyond.
My gramps joined the Army in 1939 and was a proud military man but most would not know because he didn’t talk about it. He was stationed at the Panama Canal right after the war broke out to ensure our shipping channels were protected and shipped out to Germany when fighting escalated. I have every metal, his funeral flag, and all types of photos, even a few holiday menus. I’m so proud of my gramps for his commitment and bravery. Those trenches must have been hell.
He would talk to me at length about the actual work that he did but not the battlefield and I’m fine with that, it must be traumatic for any soldier.
Toby Kieth sings one of my favorite patriotic songs of our time, American Soldier. This video may give you tears, if you’re a Veteran of any age you will want to see what a great job he does of sending our message.
Melinda
Giving attention to what you eat/ drink helps you to avoid indulging in food that is poor in nutrition or is high in unhealthy elements. Some of the practices involved in mindful eating are, eating only until you are full, knowing your non-hunger triggers and eating only when hungry, appreciating your food, eating for your […]
Mindful eating helps you stay healthy. — Natural goodness
This is an example of how trauma represents itself long after you’ve worked out the worst in your head and heart.
People who have read my About Me page know I’ve had my share of trauma and that I’ve worked hard to overcome my demons. The truth is they never go away, some piece in your heart or brain still remembers. It’s not something you feel, it becomes a trigger.
My husband works for an International company and they’ve gone thru a major reorganization recently. It is a bit chaotic right now, he is working many late-night meetings so his counterparts in the other country can participate. Because of this, my husband doesn’t get a chance to unwind from the stress. Fact of life right?
We all have to find a way to deplete stress from our day in order to feel restored and for our long-term health. Last night he didn’t finish his day, minus looking at emails all night, until after 7PM and he was trying to destress for the day.
I saw him from the corner of my eye, he was maxed out. I said to him not in these exact words, that I was concerned that he was not getting a chance to destress every day and that maybe there were other options the doctor could offer him. Like anxiety meds.
During our conversation, he said, “I’ll think about it”. Sounds harmless right? It triggered me. At that moment, “I’ll think about it” meant, either I’m not going to do it or shut up about it. I got upset and we had a breakdown in communication.
He has no way to know that comment would trigger me, I had no idea.
The post isn’t about how our communication went sideways, it’s an example of what’s under our skin that remains after trauma. It’s impossible to see triggers when you’re still working thru trauma, the nerves and heart are like a live wire. When you’re in the middle of the storm it’s pure survival, whatever it takes.
Those who make it thru the storm come out with deep scars, you have no idea how those scars will represent themselves as you move forward in life.
As we learn what is a trigger, we can better learn how to deal with the emotion it brings up.
Give yourself and other’s some grace in those moments.
Thoughts?
Melinda
I want to send a special thank you to the Managing Editor of Trigger Publishing, Soraya Nair for sending Me, Myself and Ana by Abi Appleby to review. This is a story that will pull at your heart and will help people see there is light at the end of the tunnel for those who need help.
Who’s your best friend? What happens when they’re not a real person, but a voice in your head?
Abi Appleby’s eating disorder manifested as Ana, a voice that told her to eat less and exercise more until she disappeared. Abi trusted and listened to her for long enough that her loved ones noticed her changing body and behaviours. They helped her into treatment, but even there, she could still hear Ana’s voice.
Me, Myself & Ana tells the story of Abi’s descent into anorexia nervosa, but it also shows how she finally quieted Ana – and realized that she wasn’t her best friend, but an enemy that she could defeat.
Eating Disorders are complex to treat, and require a very specialized treatment plan and oversight. “Statistically anorexia has the highest mortality rate of all psychiatric disorders (Arcelus, 2011). Help from professionals reduces the likelihood of dying from anorexia significantly.” (Except from book)
Abi’s eating disorder is so severe it manifested into a voice/friend in her head named Ana who doesn’t want Abi to get better. Ana was taking over her life by giving her restrictions on what to eat, and how much, and forcing her to exercise way beyond her capability. She is starving and praising Abi for how good she looks.
Abi is doing her part by going into treatment after she reached a dangerous state of health and her family noticed how sick she was. She works very hard in treatment but she is still controlled by Ana and getting ridiculed daily for seeking treatment.
Now her struggle is shutting out these voices during treatment that are sabotaging her and learning how to live without an eating disorder. At one point Abi was skin and bones and her goal was to disappear. As you can imagine, Ana spoke even louder and more destructively and Abi follow her right into the middle of the eye of the storm.
“Ana” wasn’t so much a friend as a deadly mental illness disguised as a friendly voice inside my head: anorexia nervosa.” Several of her journal entries are quite scary. I am so proud of her for getting help and now she helps others.
Excerpt From
Me, Myself and Ana
We all have an inner voice but it’s very different for people with a mental illness who are very sick to see clearly.
This would also be great to have around the house for tweens/teens, boys, and girls, so they can get exposure to eating disorders, you have to start young with what is normal and what is not. There is so much peer pressure on teens these days with Social Media showing so many images that are photoshopped or they hear about a starving model hear makes over a million a year.
This is a big thumbs up in my book!
We have built a first-class resource of curated books produced and published in-house to create a unique collection of mental health recovery titles unrivaled in quality and selection. We work with experts, psychologists, doctors, and coaches to produce our books, but we also work with real people looking to share their stories to reach out to others and provide hope, understanding, and compassion. These brave authors also aim to raise awareness of mental health’s “human” face and its impact on everyday lives.
Melinda
November has arrived and that means it is time to think about holiday gifts. Books are a special gift and you can personalize it by writing an inscription on the first blank page of the book. I have kept books that are not necessarily ones I’ll read again but kept them because they have inscriptions that bring back memories.
I’ve combined several lists to give you more choices.
There are some great list in these links, the AARP is great because it cast a wider net than Bestsellers.
Melinda
Have a great day.
Melinda
Thanks to all the people who took the time to comment, I truly appreciate it.
I’ve made some small changes to my blog.
The Organizations That Can Help page now has a drop-down menu, you no longer have to scroll thru the entire page to find your topic.
A minor change is the Follow Me on Twitter widget is now closer to the top so you can find me.
Minor adjustments on color.
My goal is to make the blog easy to maneuver, able to find what you’re looking for, and of course, pleasant to look at with great posts.
Have a great day.
Melinda
Where my head has been the last few days as we wind down to Election Day in America. There has to be a middle ground, life is not black and white it’s grey. It’s time to give people their voices back. No more, my way or the highway!
Melinda
Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their site with you. This week I highlight a new blogger, Shangri-La.
Never Grow Old
I love to write about the simple things in every day life with humor and positivity. My late Irish born mother Mary, is my favorite subject. I have written several stories about her on my blog and hope to comprise them all into a book in her memory. I also work in a Psychiatric hospital and cherish all the wonderful patients that enrich my life with their beauty, intelligence wit and courage, each and every day.
Please check out her site, she writes from the heart.
Melinda
Enjoy!
Melinda
Reference:
https://www.thefactsite.com/top-100-random-funny-facts/2/
Here is a list of the many days observed during the month of November. You’ll find other awareness day sites whose lists are way too long. Here’s a condensed version.
Melinda
Hey! So glad you stopped by today, I look forward to your comments each week.
Melinda
When you are thinking about buying a pet, you need to make sure that it all goes to plan, and that you ultimately end up with a pet that you are happy with. But there are other considerations, such as the welfare of the animal, and how you are going to pay for it, for instance. As it happens, there are quite a few things you should be aware of when you are buying a pet. Let’s take a look at some of the most important of these concerns that you should check when you are buying any pet.
Depending on the type of pet you are thinking of getting, you might need a lot of space or just room for a small cage. But it’s vital, in either case, to make sure that you are considering this at the outset, and that you definitely have the appropriate space for your pet to be in. If you don’t, you’ll have to put off your desire for a pet until such time as you are actually able to care for them properly by providing the right amount of space. Otherwise, it will just be cruel to have them in your home.
When you are buying something like a dog or a cat, you’ll also need to be able to trust the seller, because otherwise, you may end up with a pet that has not been bred properly or officially, and which might therefore have all sorts of health problems and other issues to consider. It is always best to go with a registered breeder such as Kerris Havanese, as that means that you can be sure you can trust them, and that will help you keep peace of mind over your pet’s wellbeing.
In general, are you able to commit to actually looking after a pet? You need to have space, as we saw above, but that’s only one element. You also need to have plenty of time, energy, and the ability to ensure that you are doing all you can to look after them properly and fully. If you don’t think you can do this if you are in any doubt at all, then you shouldn’t get the pet, but should instead wait until you are in a better position to look after them properly.
In a similar vein, do you actually have the right kind of lifestyle for the pet you are keen to have? You’ll need to think about whether you are actually able to look after them properly, or whether you are going to struggle to make them fit into your way of living, which would of course be problematic for any animal. So think carefully and deeply about this, and be careful not to rush into anything – it’s much more important to wait it out until you are absolutely certain, rather than just going for it.
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
I have been struggling with hip, back, and knee pain, and it drives me crazy how it moves around my body throughout the day. I have bursitis in both hips and arthritis in my lower back. I’ve been dealing with severe pain, and now it hurts to walk, I’ve coped by going to bed. It’s frustrating to leave everything behind. I may have to stay in bed for two days before the pain moves down the scale.
Fed up with lying in bed, I decided to take a hot Dead Sea Salt bath with essential oil. I haven’t had to think about how to get in the bathtub before. My first attempt had me on both knees, very painful and I was too weak to pull myself up. I finally got out and thought about how to get in, what the hell, I just jumped in.
The reason for writing this post is so people without a chronic illness will think about the difficulty people with chronic pain or illnesses have with simple things.
Melinda
Hi everyone,
Cheryl Clarke contacted me and asked if I would post Dawn’s Symons experience with ME/CFS. Without question, I knew many of my readers are interested in this topic. Enjoy.
When did you first get diagnosed?
I wasn’t diagnosed with ME until 2012, but I’ve had ME since I was in my 20’s so I’ve had it for about 34 years.
And what was it like when you first got your diagnosis? How did that feel?
Relief. I already knew there was something going on, and I was just glad that I finally had a diagnosis because a lot of people call people who have Chronic Fatigue or ME hypochondriacs. They call them lazy. I never met anybody who has experienced ME who is either of those things.
They usually have class-A personality types; they are driven and don’t take time off when they are poorly. Instead, they keep going and going, which chips away at the body and reduces the immunity, and they get an infection from which they don’t recover.
Can you tell us your experience of ME?
I couldn’t walk more than about 30 steps for about 18 months. I was so insular and isolated I couldn’t physically have a conversation because I didn’t have enough energy. And my mental capacity was greatly reduced because I had such severe brain fog.
It was difficult to think about what I wanted to say, and if somebody asked me a question, it was difficult to reply because, by the time I started thinking about the response, I had forgotten the question. So on top of everything, I felt stupid.
I managed to work literally for a couple of hours a week. I lost everything, including my home. And then obviously you get depressed with it, going through that experience.
So I was very low. Not so much anxious, although towards the end of it, I was getting very anxious because I’d lost all of my savings, and I could see that I was going to end up homeless, which I did.
Then you’ve got a mental battle going on as well. Why can’t I recover, why can’t somebody help me, why aren’t the doctors helping, and why are there no pills for this?
And how would you explain it to someone who has no idea what ME /CFS is?
If I was to sum up ME / CFS in one hit, it would be like an old phone that you charge up, but it only holds the charge for two hours, and you’ve got to leave it on charge all the time, and that’s what having ME is like, you can’t recharge your battery. You don’t know what’s going to drain it. There is sometimes very little that you can physically do, and you’re just drained.
The more you try and do, the more frustrated you get, and then you get even more drained. The thing that drains energy the most is depression and anxiety. It puts a huge amount of stress on the body and mind.
This is why I think the bottom line is to get the mental state in a more accepting state and then start adding little bits and pieces of other activities which might help from the healing wheel in the First Aid For Stress program and trialing what works.
So do you recommend different levels of activity depending on the severity of your CFS?
It’s a case of trial and error. Trying and then seeing what the effects are. Recovery is not going to come about quickly. It’s taken me a long time to get to where I am now. And at this moment, I am still battling. I’m battling with menopause as well as Chronic Fatigue. Every single case is different because each person may also have multiple health issues to contend with, not just Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
Did/ do you take medication for CFS / ME?
There is no pill for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. There are lots of medications suggested, but they come with a lot of side effects, and I am very sensitive to medication, so I didn’t want to take them. I’ve also come to realize that there can’t be one pill for everyone because it’s so multifaceted. There are so many things that are having an effect on the body and the mind that has resulted in the symptoms.
This is the reason calming the mind down is so important. Particularly if you are pressuring yourself. There are so many worries that come with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, such as “I’ve got to get better because I’m going to lose my job”, “I’ve got to get better because I have to look after my children”, “I’ve got to get better because I’m going to lose my home”. And that level of pressure is too much.
What did you realize in your recovery journey that is in the First Aid For Stress Program?
Unless you deal with the worry and fear and come to accept the fact that you have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, you will not be able to recover. It’s like having ten spoons in the morning, and each spoon is for doing something, and that doing something could be as much as rolling over, and that takes two spoons worth of energy. Then you need the toilet, and that takes three spoons. Suddenly you’re down to five. Cooking a meal for yourself, game over.
And you live in that awful state for a very long time. And the worst thing for your energy levels is your mind chattering, your mental state. It’s so important to learn to be kinder to yourself. To do some meditation, one of the core parts of my work is the meditations that I’ve recorded which are freely available to everyone. Listening to that recording repeatedly begins to rewire the brain.
BIO: Dawn Symons from First Aid For Stress and Maga Therapy. Dawn has lectured and written widely, specialising in tension & stress reduction irrespective of the cause, applying the latest scientific thinking to provide logical, effective & progressive results. She facilitates the First Aid For Stress Program for people suffering from ME / CFS / Anxiety / Depression and Chronic Illness.
Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their site with you. This week we highlight a new blogger, Chronic Reflections.
Chronically ill and mostly housebound with CFS/ME. Mom to an adult daughter. Recovering perfectionist. Interested in history, current affairs, social justice, sustainable living, and the Arts. Hobbies include writing, reading, word puzzles, listening to music, watching good TV and classic movies, playing casual computer games, and sleeping.
Stop by and give her a shout-out!
Melinda
I watch a lot of streaming television shows as well as movies. Hence, in general, I avoid advertisements. Yesterday, I happen to be watching Buffy The Vampire Slayer again. The television series; not the movie. The only way to watch it is on Hulu streaming service where I am exposed to commercials. Sigh. And, they […]
It’ll never be today, again — psychologistmimi
Enjoy!
Melinda
Reference:
https://www.thefactsite.com/top-100-random-funny-facts/2/
Looking for the Light 
