The Spun

September 24, 2020 @ 11:34am » Dan Lyons

ARLINGTON, TEXAS – OCTOBER 06: Dak Prescott #4 of the Dallas Cowboys greets Aaron Rodgers #12 of the Green Bay Packers after the Packers’ 34-24 win at AT&T Stadium on October 06, 2019 in Arlington, Texas. (Photo by Richard Rodriguez/Getty Images)

Ahead of the NFL season, Dallas Cowboys quarterback Dak Prescott opened up about his struggled with mental health earlier during lockdown, around the time that his brother tragically took his own life. While he faced some pretty despicable criticism from FS1’s Skip Bayless, most have been extremely supportive of Prescott, including Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers.

During Wednesday’s press conference, The Athletic’s Matt Schneidman asked the Packers quarterback about Prescott’s admission, as well the value of high-profile athletes and stars talking about their own battles with depression and other mental health struggles. Rodgers agrees that it is extremely helpful in building a connection to the public and destigmatizing the issues, which long went under-addressed in society. He also took a pretty thinly veiled shot at Bayless in the process.

“I think it’s great, I saw what Dak said and I applaud him,” Rodgers said. “I think it’s phenomenal, him speaking out, because that’s true courage and that’s true strength. It’s not a weakness at all. And anybody who attacks it… other people’s opinions of ourselves have really nothing to do with us. And other people’s opinions of Dak have nothing to do with him. That’s their own insecurities to deal with their own s–t, probably.”

“I think it’s a beautiful thing when people start talking about it, because at the bare minimum it makes you more relatable to people. That we have the same struggles, and the same issues, and the same desires to grow and change and see things in a better, positive light that so many people out there do. And I think the more that we can connect with people, especially with conversations like this, the better our society can be moving forward as a connected society built around love and positivity.”

“Thought I’d ask Aaron Rodgers today about mental health, specifically what he thinks the value of people like him and Dak Prescott talking about their headspace, happiness and mental well-being has in destigmatizing talking about that stuff.”

His full answer: pic.twitter.com/OtZ4kN1915

— Matt Schneidman (@mattschneidman) September 23, 2020

Rodgers also discussed how others, like Cleveland Cavaliers forward Kevin Love, may have gotten slightly different treatment when they opened up about depression years ago. The bright side of it is that it does seem like public sentiments are shifting in a big way.

“There’s a weird stigma around it… to either ask for help or admit you’re struggling with things, or admit negative thoughts about yourself. I think the strength is taking care of yourself and taking care of your mind and understanding how important your thoughts are because they become things, and understanding how important positivity is, and your attitude, and waking up each day with the right focus and the right mindset.”

As Aaron Rodgers acknowledges, it is good for guys like him and Dak Prescott to discuss these things openly, because it can encourage others who need help to do the same, before things take a bad turn.

Kudos to all of the star athletes and other celebrities who do so.

[Matt Schneidman]

Psychology Today

Atalanta Beaumont

12 guidelines for a happier you

The human race is having a hard time at the moment, but there are behaviours we can adopt to help support us in times of stress and lay the foundation for a more long-term, self-supported way of living.

1. We’re all told to treat others as we’d like to be treated, but it is actually really important to treat ourselves as we expect to be treated by others. If you don’t respect yourself enough to champion yourself and create boundaries which protect you, why should anyone else?

This goes from the smallest acts such as making sure you sleep and eat well, to larger behaviours such as protecting your boundaries by not allowing yourself to be persuaded by others that principles you hold dear are not worth adhering to. Others will take their cue from your own attitude to yourself.

2. You need to treat others with respect and compassion and where possible put yourself into their shoes and try and see situations from their point of view. If you like certain behaviours exhibited towards yourself, you can bet others like them shown towards them.

3. Remember you don’t need to have all the answers. It is okay not to know things and to say so, because this is how we learn. You can’t know things you haven’t been taught or come across before, and that goes for everyone. Even a physics genius may not know how to milk a goat! We all know something that someone else doesn’t. Learning from others is fundamental to growing as a human.

4. If you’re struggling, the brave thing is to ask for help. This is braver than suffering in silence, which can often make things worse and is much less retrievable. There’s a lot of help out there for all sorts of situations—just ask.

5. Embrace your differences and those of others; these are our strengths. Being different is good. We can bring a fresh perspective to tired views, a different way of tackling problems, or just a different way of being. Uniqueness is usually a selling point!

6. Look after your body. It’s got to last you the whole of your life and you don’t want to find yourself with 20 years of making do with a clapped out model when a little bit of care could see you almost to the finish line with very little need for intervention. So move—humans are designed to do just that. Eat in ways that support your health. We all know the drill—plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables, good sources of protein, and forget the sugar hits. Sugar has been associated with inflammatory conditions, anxiety, and mood disorders (Anika Knuppel, UCL)

7. Anxiety is like a muscle—the more you exercise it the stronger it becomes. If you can learn to divert yourself from over-anxious ruminating thoughts, you will benefit by breaking the cycle. Gentle, supported exposure to anxious situations will lessen their impact over time. Go for a walk, take a bath, phone a friend, practice yoga and meditation—all of these have been proven to lower anxiety and improve mood.

8. Pay attention to your feelings. After all, we have them for a reason. This does not mean you have to dwell on them and ruminate about them (see above) but you do need to acknowledge how you feel and which of your actions contribute to these feelings. In this way, you can repeat the actions that bring happiness, relaxation, and well-being and drop the habits that don’t. If you’re not sure which are which, keep a diary of what you do, who you see, what you eat, how much sleep you get, and so on. Soon you will begin to see patterns that will inform your understanding of how external behaviours impact you internally.

9. Spend time in nature. There is enough research now to know that wildlife and a rural landscape impact us positively. Even something as small as a window box or plant can make a difference to your well-being. This has been admirably demonstrated during this lock-down year when many people have reported how birdsong and glimpses of butterflies have helped them get through gloomy days full of bad news. Taking a walk every day, playing football in the park, even in a city landscape, can get you in touch with trees, sunshine, and air—all for free and all mood-boosting.

10. Kindness is the most important trait we can display, both towards ourselves and others. Small acts of kindness can make a huge difference in how we feel about ourselves and others; both performing them and receiving them. A friendly wave or smile might be the only contact a neighbour regularly receives. A genuine compliment is always well received and a nice thing to give to others. Helping out when it’s of little cost to yourself may make someone else’s day. Our view of the world starts small, in our own communities so if we can make that positive, then as we go out into the world we take that attitude with us and spread it around.

11. Don’t be afraid of things going wrong. If you never try, you’ll never learn. Don’t give up for every time you fail you learn something to take forward for the next attempt. All of life is a learning process and many successful people had catastrophic failures on their way up. The key? They didn’t stop trying.

12. And remember how powerful the mind is. “If you think you can and if you think you can’t, you’re right.”

References

Anika Knuppel, Martin J Shipley, Eric J Brunner:  Scientific Reports 7, Article 6287, 27 July 2017

About the Author

Atalanta Beaumont is a former psychotherapist trained in the methodology of Transactional Analysis and the author of Handy Hints for Humans. Online:Facebook

—Robert Neubecker for Education Week

School counselors on what they need during this pandemic

By Mandy Savitz-Romer, Heather Rowan-Kenyon, Tara Nicola, & Laura Hecht September 16, 2020

As the global pandemic threatens students’ academic progress, recent reports have also raised alarms about students’ mental health. Fear, loss, and the anxiety brought on by uncertainty are raising already-high levels of trauma and stress among young people. 

It will be tempting for schools to direct resources and attention this fall to bolstering the instructional core, given well-founded fears of learning loss and the widening of academic inequities. But our research suggests that districts need to focus just as much on deploying staff and policies that promote students’ social and emotional development. School counselors have a critical but often overlooked role to play in meeting this urgent need. 

According to our survey of nearly 1,000 school counselors from across the country, these professionals faced significant challenges last spring as they sought to support students’ social-emotional, academic, and postsecondary development in a remote learning environment. Schools should now make it a priority to understand what went wrong in the spring, so they don’t repeat the same mistakes this fall.

First, we found that school counselors were not able to spend as much time as usual counseling students about social-emotional issues, career development, or postsecondary plans. This is especially troubling for a profession that was already stretched thin to begin with: Last year, all but three states significantly exceeded the recommended ratio of students-to-counselors. In our survey, 43 percent of counselors reported spending less time providing individual counseling than in their work pre-COVID-19, despite the stress and trauma caused by the pandemic.”While navigating personal stressors brought on by the pandemic, school counselors faced unique professional challenges as well.”

Instead, a large majority of the counselors—who regularly worked well beyond their usual hours—reported spending their time tracking down students with low attendance in remote learning and delivering social-service and technology information to families. These are worthwhile efforts, of course, but they limited counselors’ ability to check in with students, assess their well-being, and intervene when necessary.

Second, our results suggested that a lack of direction and leadership from school and district leaders complicated this shift in responsibilities. Approximately 55 percent of counselors surveyed reported not receiving clear directions about their expected role in a remote environment. One midsize, urban school district’s updated memorandum of understanding with the teachers’ union never even mentioned school counselors.

While school counselors appreciated ongoing communication from administration and district staff, counselors were rarely involved in planning for remote schooling. Despite their unique skills in supporting students, only 35 percent of counselors say they were asked to provide input about school contingency plans or how to maintain counseling programming. Counselors also reported that training for counselor-specific remote work was not available to them. This problem was especially acute in rural communities, where 1 in 3 counselors reported receiving no training.

Third, like all educators, school counselors struggled to adjust to remote schooling. While navigating personal stressors brought on by the pandemic, school counselors faced unique professional challenges as well. In addition to losing the valuable opportunity to connect with students in informal settings such as hallways and lunchrooms, many counselors received instructions from school leaders not to meet one-on-one with students, provide group or classroom instruction, or even use videoconferencing software because of concerns about meeting confidentiality requirements remotely.

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These findings highlight long-standing challenges facing the school counseling profession. For decades, school counselors have called on principals to provide better leadership to counseling programs. Such leadership is now essential. If schools are committed to healing students and supporting their engagement in academics amid a wave of national trauma, they must heed this call now more than ever. To support their efforts, we offer the following recommendations for school and district leaders:

1. Establish a clear plan for school counseling programming and communicate it widely. School and district leaders are often not familiar with counseling models or standards, so they need to take their lead from counselors. Strong administrators understand the assets and expertise of counselors and are careful not to misdirect their time toward tasks that don’t leverage their mental-health training. With counselors’ input, school and district leaders can prioritize the availability of counseling programs and services at the systems level. At a minimum, counselors can identify counseling-related policies and practices that transfer to a virtual or hybrid context. For example, school counselors can join morning meetings to connect with students, partner with teachers to integrate strategies for well-being into classes, and collaborate with other support staff to utilize screening tools to identify depression, trauma, and other signs of distress.

2. Build time for counseling into student schedules. Face-to-face time with students—either virtually or in person when it is safe to do so—is a precious commodity. School leaders will therefore need to be intentional about scheduling time for students to meet with counselors and for counselors to provide mental-health support to whole classes, grades, or schools. Consistent advisory blocks and office hours might offer structured times for students to reach out for additional support. School counselors around the country have set up Google Classrooms and Bitmoji offices to be added to district platforms.

3. Evenly distribute the responsibility of tracking down students. School leaders must avoid the temptation of assigning attendance and noncounseling duties to counselors simply because they are not responsible for a classroom of students. Pulling school counselors away from checking in with students, delivering resources for managing anxiety, and supporting postsecondary planning will leave some students vulnerable to further disengagement.

4. Ask counselors if and how they need support and training to use virtual platforms to provide counseling. In our survey, many school counselors reported having to use their personal phones to call students. Often, parents and students didn’t answer those calls, which appear as if they come from unknown numbers. Access to a school phone, Google Voice number, or other platforms to communicate with students will enable counselors to conduct confidential or sensitive conversations with students. School counselors also need different kinds of training from what is offered to teachers. Training on virtual platforms, strategies that support telecounseling, and legal and ethical considerations are especially in demand. As the college-admission process continues to evolve during the pandemic, school counselors will also benefit from training on policies and practices that have been updated during the pandemic.

While today’s educational context is defined by uncertainty, one thing is for certain: As students return to Zoom rooms or school buildings, they are hurting. We have professionals who are trained and ready to help them heal and develop the social and emotional skills to cope with their current reality. Let’s be sure to take counselors into account in our planning this semester. Our students and teachers are going to need them.

Mandy Savitz-Romer is the Nancy Pforzheimer Aronson Senior Lecturer in Human Development and Education at the Harvard Graduate School of Education. Heather Rowan-Kenyon is an associate professor of education leadership and higher education at the Boston College Lynch School of Education and Human Development. Tara Nicola is a doctoral student at the Harvard Graduate School of Education. Laura Hecht is a research manager at the Harvard Graduate School of Education. They are the authors of the recently released report “Expanding Support Beyond the Virtual Classroom: Lessons and Recommendations From School Counselors During the COVID-19 Crisis.”

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Vol. 40, Issue 05, Page 24Published in Print: September 16, 2020, as How Ready Are We to Support Kids?RELATED STORIES

• “Triaging for Trauma During COVID-19,” September 3, 2020.
• “As Schools Stay Closed and Student Morale Slumps, Educators Worry About Mental Health,” (Rules for Engagement) April 21, 2020.
• “The Nation’s Top School Counselor Is Slashing Discipline Disparities. Here’s How,” (Rules for Engagement) March 10, 2020.

RELATED OPINION

• “School Counselors Support Students. Are We Supporting Them?,”October 23, 2019.
• “The Troubling Student-to-Counselor Ratio That Doesn’t Add Up,” August 14, 2018.

Mental health issues affect one in four people. This could range from stress, anxiety, and depression, to severe mental health issues such as bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, or borderline personality disorder. 

Often, it can be hard to understand the cause of these mental health problems. They may be triggered by something that has gone on in your life such as the loss of a loved one, or a big change such as moving to a new city, or a change in career. Whatever the cause, it is essential that you practice self-care. 

But what can you do to treat your mental health problems? 

Here are some of the steps you should take if you are experiencing any mental health difficulties in your life. 

Speak To Your Doctor 

If you are struggling with stress, anxiety, or depression in your life, then you should speak with your doctor at the earliest possible opportunity. Your doctor should talk you through what is happening in your life in order to understand whether you should be treated with self-care,

antidepressant medication, or whether you would be a suitable candidate for talking therapy such as cognitive behavior therapy. 

Speak To A Counselor 

If you are able to speak with a counselor, do so. You may be able to get referred to one by your doctor. If not, there are plenty of specialist counselors that will be able to take you on. 

Different counselors and therapists will have their own approaches to dealing with mental health issues such as depression and anxiety. Make sure that you are happy with the counselor’s approach before you commit to a course of sessions with them. 

Use CBD And Other Alternative Treatments

One of the areas that there is growing research into is the use of alternative treatments such as CBD. CBD comes from the same plant as cannabis except it doesn’t have any of the psychoactive ingredients as cannabis does. It just relaxes you and relieves symptoms of stress and anxiety. 

Another alternative treatment option may be psychedelics. You can read more about this at psychedelicspotlight.com. 

Eat Well

There is a lot that can be said about the way that you eat. By making sure that you are eating a balanced diet, you will be able to help to give yourself the energy that you need to keep going. 

To fight off stress and depression with your diet you should look at getting your starch fix with whole grains and beans. You should be sure to eat plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables. Instead of eating red meats, you should eat fatty fish like salmon or tuna. Finally, add in healthy fats, such as raw nuts and olive oil.

Exercise 

Exercising is a great way of clearing your head. It gives you endorphins which is a feel-good hormone that will balance out the stress hormones that your body will naturally be producing. 

Start small. Even going for a short walk will be very helpful. 

This is a collaborative post.

In Health,

Melinda

Analysis by Lisa Respers France, CNN

Friday, September 18th 2020, 9:05 AM

I’m not asking you to feel sorry for Kanye West.

The rapper/designer/provocateur may have earned as many critics over the course of his career as he has fans. But West’s mental health, which he has been open about, should be observed with sensitivity.

His recent interview with Forbes, concerning tweets and a press conference in which he made inaccurate statements about Harriet Tubman have raised alarms about his current well-being.

His wife, Kim Kardashian West, appealed to the better nature of the public last week with a plea for compassion for her husband, who she acknowledged has bipolar disorder.

“Anyone who has this or has a loved one in their life who does, knows how incredibly complicated and painful it is to understand,” she wrote in a note posted on her Instagram stories. “I’ve never spoken publicly about how this has affected us at home because I am very protective of our children and Kanye’s right to privacy when it comes to his health. But today, I feel like I should comment on it because of the stigma and misconceptions about mental health.”

In terms of the spectacle of it all, we have been here before with Ye. But he’s not the only celebrity who has confronted such challenges in the fishbowl that is the entertainment industry:

Jenifer Lewis: In a 2018 interview with CNN, the “Black-ish” star spoke about West’s much-reported meeting with President Donald Trump in the Oval Office.

Lewis acknowledged knowing full well what living with bipolar disorder can feel like in the public glare.

She was first diagnosed with it in the 1990s and wrote about her struggles with mental illness in her memoir, “The Mother of Black Hollywood.”

Lewis wept with concern for West at the time.

“Part of the disorder is not wanting to tame the mania,” she told me. “The high is so high and it feels great, but it’s dangerous. It’s so dangerous.”

She and I discussed the need to remove stigma surrounding mental illness — especially in the Black community.

“I cannot say enough how dangerous this disease is,” Lewis said. “And it is a disease. People need to start treating it like a disease like they do cancer, not as something to point at and laugh.”

Britney Spears: West has indeed been treated as a joke by many. Much like another celebrity whose mental health has been back in the headlines.

Britney Spears’ younger sister, Jamie Lynn Spears, weighed in last week after singer Halsey posted a series of tweets about mental illness.

“No jokes right now. I have dedicated my career to offering education and insight about bipolar disorder and I’m so disturbed by what I’m seeing,” Halsey wrote. “Personal opinions about someone aside, a manic episode isnt a joke. If you can’t offer understanding or sympathy, offer your silence.”

Jamie Lynn Spears offered her perspective.

“If you deal with mental illness or care for someone dealing with mental illness, then you know how important it is to respect the situation with privacy for the person, and the family trying to protect their loved ones, no matter how it may appear to the public, and as the public we must learn to do the same,” Spears reportedly wrote on Instagram in a since-deleted post.

She went on to defend her older sister after a commenter implored her to “clarify assumptions” about Britney Spears’ mental state.

“I would never speak our just to clarify things to the public, when the person it pertains to does not want that to happen,” Spears wrote. “I’d rather take all the hate, [than] speak about someone else’s personal matter, that they want to be kept private.”

Britney Spears has been subjected to tabloid fodder about her health since 2007, when she was hospitalized for mental health treatment and her father was granted conservatorship over her affairs.

The #FreeBritney hashtag gained traction from those who want that conservatorship to end.

Spears posted on Instagram last year to let her followers know, “All is well.”

Still, the #FreeBritney campaign has continued — and this month intensified due to a pending legal matter regarding the conservatorship — as her health gets picked apart by the public.

Tamar Braxton: As was the case when Braxton, who stars on the reality series “Braxton Family Values,” was reportedly hospitalized last week.

“This is an extremely difficult time for Tamar and her family as she navigates professional and personal struggles including her battle with depression,” Braxton’s boyfriend, David Adefeso, said in a statement to People.

“Tamar is currently receiving the best available medical attention to address those struggles and strengthen her mental health, and her family and I will remain by her side throughout her treatment,” he went on to say in the statement. “Mental health is a common issue, affecting 1 in 5 Americans.”

During this time of the pandemic, those numbers could increase with so many of us stressed, anxious and worried for the future.

Those in the public eye who are challenged with mental health issues should evoke our empathy and serve as a reminder to reach out for help if needed.

CNN has contacted reps for all three celebs for comment but has not yet received responses.

Read here for some of the best ways to take care of your mental health during the Covid crisis.

By Celebretainment

Sep 16, 2020

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Lady Gaga’s personal trauma influenced the book she is penning with her mother.

The ‘Rain On Me’ hitmaker and her mum, Cynthia Germanotta, have worked together on ‘Channel Kindness’ – which is a collection of 51 stories of kindness from young people across the world – and the pair revealed the idea for the book stemmed from the singer’s experience with mental health problems at school.

Gaga told PEOPLE magazine: “I didn’t know how to stand up for myself without feeling embarrassed.”

Cynthia admitted she feels “horrible” that she wasn’t able to support her daughter, and blames generational differences for her lack of communication at the time.

She explained: “There was a shame of sharing some of this with me. And I feel horrible about that.

“I was raised differently, where you just have to be tough and not talk about your emotions. I didn’t always understand the difference between normal biological teenage development and a real problem.”

Gaga hopes that the book can encourage “resilience” in younger people suffering mental health problems and help develop an understanding, just as she has with her mother.

The 34-year-old singer – whose real name is Stefani Germanotta – said: “There are things that create highways from heart to heart, where we can hold compassion and empathy, where we can celebrate everybody’s resilience.

“When I was younger and had mental issues, my mom didn’t know how to communicate with me about it. We’ve found a way to channel kindness into our lives in a way that’s also healed our relationship.”

Gaga added: “I’m just really grateful that my mom holds space for me to be able to talk about how I feel. And because of that, we have a very healthy relationship that is beautiful.”

HUFFPOST

Catherine Pearson

09/04/2020 11:31am EDT

Spend at least five minutes a day, every single day, hanging out with them and doing whatever they want.

Kids might find it more difficult to cope with the pandemic. Here’s how parents can help them.

When the COVID-19 pandemic hit this past spring, billions of children around the globe were abruptly sent home from school — an anchor in so many ways. Kids have been cut off from friends and loved ones, and yanked away from daily activities and passions. Many have watched their loved ones get sick or have come down with the virus themselves. It has been … a lot. 

Now, as another unprecedented academic year swings into high gear, children are facing more of the same “new normal” that no one asked for.

“We don’t know how long we’re going to be living in this very strange period. For some kids, that mean that they’ve adjusted and things are a little bit easier to manage,” said Kimberly Canter, a child psychologist at Nemours Children’s Health System. “For other kids, that just means this gets harder and harder every day.”

HuffPost Parents spoke to several experts about simple, concrete ways we can help support our children during this upcoming school year. Here’s what they had to say: 

1. Regularly check in with them about what they think is happening with COVID-19. 

Talking to your child about what they know (or believe they know) about the pandemic is a crucial first step to understanding where they’re at emotionally, said Canter, who developed an online intervention to help kids struggling with COVID-19 stress. (The intervention is currently available to Nemours patients only, but she shared some of the broader concepts below.)

You’re looking to understand their specific concerns, she said.

“Are there things they are hearing that are frightening them that are not true?” she asked. “Are there things they are hearing that are frightening them that are true? And how can we address that?”

If your child brings up something you don’t have an answer to, or there’s no answer to, be honest. Tell them you’ll seek out accurate information together, and reassure them that they’re not facing this alone.

Parents should also pay attention to any physical, emotional or social changes they notice in their children, said Ron Stolberg, a licensed child psychologist and professor at Alliant International University.

“Typical things to look for are significant weight gain or weight loss not related to normal development, rejecting long-standing friends, major social withdrawal, and with teens, we also add unaccounted-for spending,” Stolberg said.

Your check-ins can be brief, but they should be consistent. Parents may have done this more at the start of the pandemic, when everything was strange and new. Don’t let up now.

2. Help them identify their emotions. 

Emotional intelligence is a learned skill that is rooted in a person’s ability to identify what they are feeling. Parents can help their children do that, Canter said. It’s really about noticing their feelings and learning how to name them.

This can start even if kids are young. Simple mood meters — red for angry, blue for sad, green for calm and yellow for happy — can help young kiddos track where they are and give voice to those feelings.

If your child brings up something you don’t have an answer to, or there’s no answer to, be honest. Tell them you’ll seek out accurate information together, and reassure them that they’re not facing this alone.

Parents should also pay attention to any physical, emotional or social changes they notice in their children, said Ron Stolberg, a licensed child psychologist and professor at Alliant International University.

“Typical things to look for are significant weight gain or weight loss not related to normal development, rejecting long-standing friends, major social withdrawal, and with teens, we also add unaccounted-for spending,” Stolberg said.

Your check-ins can be brief, but they should be consistent. Parents may have done this more at the start of the pandemic, when everything was strange and new. Don’t let up now.

Your check-ins can be brief, but they should be consistent. Parents may have done this more at the start of the pandemic, when everything was strange and new. Don’t let up now.

3. Build trust with their teachers.

Even if you live in an area where your child is in the classroom five days a week, this is an academic year like no other. One simple way to emotionally support your child — and your child’s teacher — is to help them feel “safe and connected to their school communities,” said Jeanne Huybrechts, chief academic officer at Stratford School, a network of private schools in California. That is true whether classes are in person, hybrid or starting the year off remotely.

“Reach out to your child’s teacher and introduce yourself and your family,” Huybrechts said. “Share family stories, values, your family’s living situation this fall, your child’s feelings about the return to school.” 

More than ever this year, open communication with your child’s teachers is essential.

4. For at least five minutes a day, hang out with them however they want. 

Parents sometimes hate to hear this tip because at the end of a long, exhausting day, many parents just (understandably) want to collapse, said Jill Ehrenreich-May, a psychologist and director of the Child and Adolescent Mood and Anxiety Program at the University of Miami.

But she recommends taking at least five minutes a day, every day, to just hang out together with the kids.

“Do something — not on screens — that your child wants to do with you,” Ehrenreich-May said. Follow their lead, and really try to connect through joy. They need it.

5. Remind them of what they can control. 

Many children are struggling under the weight of so many unknowns. We don’t know when school will be “normal” again. We don’t know when they’ll be able to freely hug grandparents or friends. We don’t know if they’ll get sick, or if we will get sick — and how serious it might be. That’s difficult for anyone to deal with, particularly kids. 

Parents can help by focusing them on what they can control right now.

“You might not be able to control if there’s a vaccine, but you can control things like washing your hands and wearing a mask,” Canter said. Similarly, kids may not be able to control when, say, soccer starts up again, but they can schedule Zoom hangouts with their teammates. And so on.

And here is something parents can control, to a certain extent: They can model the type of resiliency and self-care they hope to see in their children. That means parents need to find ways to take care of themselves.

“If I expect them to be calm and handle this really not normal situation, well, I probably need to express my own emotions appropriately,” Ehrenreich-May said.

Stolberg agreed, suggesting that parents follow a healthy sleep routine, eat nutritious food, avoid caffeine and alcohol, exercise outside if it’s safe to do so and stay connected to people, even if it’s digitally. He also recommended mindfulness exercises, such as breathing, meditation and yoga.

“You cannot be your best parent if you are not healthy and mentally prepared for the job,” he said.

At the end of the day, it’s not about pretending everything is totally OK. It’s about modeling emotional intelligence yourself and trying to show your kiddo how to live with uncertainty, while also trying to make the best of this unprecedented time.

Posted Sep 07, 2020

Diana Raab PhD

The Empowerment Diary

There are certain characteristics inherent to resiliency. 

I have always believed, and I still believe, that whatever good or bad fortune may come our way we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value.”  ~ Hermann Hesse

The way in which you deal with the stresses and our ‘new norm’ bestowed on us by the pandemic, could be an indication of how resilient you really are. Resilienceis defined as the ability to withstand or recover from difficult situations. It’s the ability to ‘spring back,’ in spite of all odds. It’s how you’re able to restore equilibrium in your life during or following upheaval. In recent months many of us have encountered many new challenges, personal, economic, psychological and/or emotional, and it’s certainly a good test of resilience.

Even under normal conditions, we all have a certain amount of adversities in our lives. Much of how we deal with an adversary basically has to do with our attitude. We don’t have to look too far away from our circle of friends and family to see the different reactions to the challenges presented by the pandemic. Positive self-talk can do wonders in dealing with scary or unknown situations, and negative thoughts can easily activate the brains’ fear center. Chances are that those who have coped well are flexible, and generally have the ability to cultivate happiness in their lives through balance and wisdom. 

Those who are resilient have a certain sense of empowerment or are able to easily shift their perspective. This means that during stressful or challenging times, they are able to reframe their situation. In addition to maintaining a sense of optimism,  they are most likely able to regulate their emotions. Some studies have shows that resilience might be inherited, but it’s not all nature—early childhood experiences and environments play a role in how resilient we become. Many of those who have had severe childhood traumaor those who moved a lot, such as military families, tend to be more resilient.

The Resilience Theory states that it’s not the nature of the adversity or challenging situation that is most important, it’s how you deal with it that is important. This is the same philosophy used when teaching memoir. It’s not about telling your story, but it’s about how you reacted to your story and how it transformed you. Positive psychology is connected to resilience theory because they’re both about formulation a beneficial way to foster our health and well-being. In fact, it’s been suggested that those who’ve had exposure to various degrees of lifelong adversity had better mental health and well-being outcomes than those who have had little or no adversity.  

Further, there are those who are more open to new experiences and there are those who get strength from adversity as this is their way of coping with a potential threat. According to Tennen and Affleck (1999), in their study, “Finding Benefits in Adversity,” “The individual who is more open to experience—imaginative, emotionally responsive, and intellectually curious—might be particularly likely to meet the challenge of adversity through a philosophical reorientation and a new direction in life plans.” (p. 286). 

In general, most people have a large capacity for adaptation and to overcome threatening events and experiences. While some individuals might be innately more resilient, there’s no doubt that resilience can be practiced and developed, and like the old adage saying, ‘from all bad comes good,’ and that when one door closes, another door opens.

References

Fletcher, D. and M. Sartar. (2013) Psychological Resilience: A review and critique of definitions, concepts and theory.” European Psychologist. Vol 18. pp. 12-23.

Moore, C. (2020). “Resilience Theory: What Research articles in psychology teach us.” Positive Psychology.com.

Seery, M.D., Holman, A.E. & Silver, R.S. (2010). “Whatever does not kills us: Cumulative lifetime adversity, vulnerability and resilience.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 99, pp. 1025-1041.More

By Margarita Tartakovsky, MS 

Last updated: 23 Aug 2020

Tuning into our feelings, thoughts, and physical sensations is the foundation of caring well for ourselves. We have to know what’s going on in order to take healthy, nourishing action and just better understand ourselves. 

But the way we do these check-ins really depends on our personality and preferences. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach. The key is to incorporate a check-in into your day, regardless of what shape or form it takes. Make it as habitual as brushing your teeth. In fact, one way to check in with yourself is to ask how you’re feeling while you are brushing your teeth in the morning and at night. 

Here are additional ideas for checking in: 

1. Set an alarm on your phone to ding every hour and ask yourself: How am I doing right now?
2. Do Julia Cameron’s morning pages, jotting down whatever comes to mind first thing in the morning. Simply keep a notebook on your bedside table, and before getting up, fill up three pages of your journal. 
3. In the evening, for 5 to 10 minutes, reflect on how your day went. What went well? What didn’t? How are you feeling about it? What might you change tomorrow? 
4. Listen to a guided meditation that specifically helps you tune into your mind and body, such as paying attention to any present tension. 
5. Ask yourself the same questions every day (and record your responses): What am I grateful for? What am I anxious about? What did I learn about myself today? What do I need? 
6. Take a few deep breaths, put your hands in prayer position, and ask yourself: What’s on my heart? 
7. Move your body in a favorite way. For you, this might be taking a yoga class, taking a walk, riding your bike, or doing a stretching video. Personally, I’ve found that any time I move my body, my emotions, which might’ve been previously suppressed as I go about my day, bubble up to the surface and I have a better grasp on how I’m doing. 
8. Name what emotion you’re feeling, trying to get as specific as possible, and then rate the intensity of that emotion from 1 to 10. 
9. Draw three concentric circles. In the innermost circle, jot down the emotions you’re feeling. In the second circle, jot down the physical sensations you’re experiencing. In the biggest circle, jot down the thoughts running through your mind or the stories you’re telling yourself right now or have been all day. 

When you’re checking in with yourself, remember to allow whatever arises. It’s so hard, but our jobs are not to censor, judge, or criticize. Our jobs are to witness what’s going on internally, taking on the perspective of an unbiased observer. 

I liken it to writing: It’s not helpful to edit while we write our first draft, because then we might miss something important. We want to write first, to spill our hearts and message onto the page. After everything has poured out, we can start to make sense of that message and refine as needed. 

Pick a check-in practice that resonates with you and, again, incorporate it into your day (or, of course, come up with a practice that feels like a better fit). To make it easier, add it to something you do all the time: check in while you sip your water. Check in during your morning coffee. Check in right before you ask your kids how they’re doing. 

Either way, prioritize your daily check-in—and you’ll likely find that even if you don’t respond to your needs, simply listening helps you feel well taken care of. Because as I’ve written before, listening is a beautiful, powerful gift we can give to ourselves and others. 

Margarita Tartakovsky, MS

Margarita is an associate editor at PsychCentral.com. She writes about everything from taking compassionate care of yourself at any weight, shape, and size, to coping healthfully with difficult emotions. Her goal is to give readers practical, empowering tips to better their lives, and to remind you that whatever you’re struggling with, you’re never, ever alone.

Home gardening is on the rise since COVID-19, says Rose Hayden-Smith, Emeritus advisor at the University of California. But activists from food justice organizations argue that home gardening has the potential to promote emotional wellness, especially for Black women and other marginalized communities.

Home vegetable gardening can not only increase produce consumption and physical activity—it is also associated with improved emotional wellbeing, according to a recent study from Princeton University. The report finds that out of 15 daily leisure activities, such as walking and biking, vegetable gardening is one of the most beneficial activities for mental and emotional health.

“Gardening combines so many things that are positive for mental health—being outdoors around plants and nature, physical exercise,” Diana Martin, Director of Communications and Marketing at the Rodale Institute, tells Food Tank. “Something about growing food, connecting with the earth, and sharing the bounty with your neighbors and community can help you feel rooted, connected, and grateful.”

In response to the influx of home gardeners during COVID-19, the Rodale Institute offers a free Victory Gardens Starter Kit complete with an Organic Gardening 101 webinar, composting tips, and lesson plans to involve children.

Home gardening may also address some effects of long-standing social inequalities. Women, especially women of color, have disproportionately shouldered social care work during the pandemic, according to a recent study in the Journal of Sustainability: Science, Practice, and Policy. And this work may contribute to poor mental health in those responsible for it, according to a report from the Swiss School of Public Health.

“From an equity perspective, supporting household gardening would provide more benefits for women and low-income gardeners,” Dr. Ramaswami, co-author of the Princeton University study, tells Food Tank. She explains that home gardening was the only activity studied that had a greater impact on emotional wellbeing for women and people with low income, compared to men and people with medium-and high incomes.

Jasmine Jefferson, founder of Black Girls With Gardens, also believes that gardening can be a tool for self-care. An online platform, Black Girls With Gardens provides education, support, inspiration, and community for women of color interested in gardening.

Jefferson noticed that her website has gained popularity since COVID-19, as more Black women began home gardening.

“Gardening is an act of self-preservation for Black women,” Jefferson tells Food Tank. “We are able to release our rage in the soil and still not be judged by nature.

Despite the benefits of home gardening, Black, Indigenous, and People of Color (BIPOC) communities have been systematically disenfranchised from growing their own food, Jefferson says. She argues that food deserts, lack of access to quality soil and compost, and white-dominated gardening groups with expensive membership dues all work to keep women of color out of gardening.

“We are resisting systematic racist policies and procedures…when we make the space to grow our own food,” Jefferson tells Food Tank. “Black women deal with very stressful environments, high anxiety, and trauma on [a] daily basis. Gardening can be the escape black women need from that harsh reality of the world.”

Photo Courtesy of Unsplash, Benjamin CombsTweetShareShare

Katell Ane

Katell Ané (she/her) studies International Relations at the University of Edinburgh, focusing on the global politics of food. Her interests in food insecurity in her hometown led her to volunteer with FairShare CSA Coalition, a nonprofit working to create a more sustainable food system in Wisconsin by promoting the Community Supported Agriculture model. Since working with FairShare, Katell has been passionate about changing food systems to address broader questions of racial and migrant justice, health disparities, and Native sovereignty. She spends her free time hiking, dancing, and marveling at heirloom vegetable varieties.PREVIOUS ARTICLE

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Getting into a fitness routine, pushing yourself, and reaching your goals takes a lot of time and energy, as well as a big commitment to yourself and your health. So when your health suffers, either through an injury or an illness, it can really set you back and put you right back at square one.

Feeling like you’ve got to start over with your fitness is a common feeling, and it can really affect your confidence. Whether you feel like you can’t do it or that things are harder than they used to be, it’s important to get back on that horse. Exercise will help improve your physical health and boost your mental health, and it can be a welcome part of your routine once you’ve found your feet again.

Here is some advice to help you regain the confidence to work out when you’ve suffered a setback.

Image Credit: Unsplash under Creative Commons

Set yourself some manageable goals

While it’s understandable that you’ll want to be back where your fitness used to be, it isn’t going to happen overnight. If you try to move too quickly, you could end up injured or losing further confidence from not getting the same results as you once did.

Start by setting yourself some manageable fitness goals, aims you can work towards slowly, helping you to regain technique and basic fitness first. From increasing the times of your workouts to making it to the gym a certain number of times a week, start with goals that are realistic before building up to bigger ones.

Choose workout clothes that help your performance 

The workout clothes you wear can help you feel more confident about working out. You should choose items that are comfortable, supportive, and can help keep you cool too. Treating yourself to some new outfits will help you feel in a better mindset for working out. Brands are more attune to the different needs of people now, so you can find great selections for curvier shapes, as well as amputee leggings and other items that can help give you a boost. Always make sure you have the right type of shoes for your workout to make sure you’re better protected against injury.

Ease yourself in, and consider working with someone else

Fitness is something that needs to be built up over time. So if you’re getting back into things after a long period away, ease yourself in gently. Walking and swimming can be gentle, effective exercises to start until you’re feeling fitter and stronger. Take a look at fitness plans from others in your position to see how they’ve eased themselves back into exercise.

It can also help if you work out with someone else, such as a friend or personal trainer who can help make sure you’ve got the right form to prevent injury, as well as help you train as needed. 

If, for any reason, you feel pain – stop! Consult your doctor or take a rest to stop yourself from overdoing things.

Exercise is something that can help you begin to feel a semblance of normality, helping you form a routine and get back into activities that you once enjoyed. Take it slow, put your health first, and soon you’ll see your confidence creeping back up as you start to reach your goals once more.

This is a collaborative post.

In Health,

Melinda

I Heart Radio

By Blake Taylor

From the outside looking in, Thomas Rhett and his wife, Lauren Akins, seem to have a nearly perfect relationship, however, it hasn’t always been easy. 

The country star opened up about his relationship with his wife during an interview on The Bobby Bones Show, revealing that the couple turned to marriage counseling after a “hard” moment in their lives. Referring to Akins’ new memoir, Live In Love, Rhett said the book had “parts where I wish I wasn’t made out to look like such a jerk.” 

The “Be A Light” singer continued on to explain some of the challenges the couple faced throughout the adoption process for their now 4-year-old daughter Willa Gray. At the time, Akins was traveling to Uganda while pregnant with their now 3-year-old daughter, Ada James.

“Lauren called me because it was 9 o’clock in the morning in Uganda and…she hears all of her friends in the background. Meanwhile, Lauren is seven months pregnant and throwing up in a bathroom in Uganda,” he said. “That was when Lauren was like, ‘We are living two completely separate lives right now.'”

“That was a really humbling experience for me, just knowing what she was dealing with in a sense of aloneness while I’m kind of living life as usual,” Rhett added. “That part was really hard for us, for sure. Kind of getting over that and going through some therapy, especially over that one night.”

“Coming on the other side of that, I feel like I learned so much from that experience. It made me know that, in a marriage, you do have to figure stuff out. You have to talk about it. You’ve gotta be real about it. You’ve gotta be honest about it.”

Rhett and Akins, who also share a 6-month-old daughter, Lennon Love, hope their story helps other couples.

The fog is thick and heavy.

A microfiber wand beside the bed hasn’t been touched in days. The amount of dust in the house is a full-time job I can’t work.

I’m so glad only to have four-legged kids to get on my nerves and wear out my patients.

My body doesn’t hurt as bad as the muscles tense and twitching. Hip pain is now on both sides, I  wonder if Osteoporosis has moved to the left hip. My shoulder has decided to ache all the time making it difficult to sleep. 

I noticed more wrinkles on the face today, feeling old again.

Self-care has gone by the wayside this week, too tired to care.

My mental health is good surprisingly for being in the middle of a pandemic in a state with rising numbers.

I have canceled all doctor’s appointments out of fear of the virus, have only had three face to face visits and two lab trips since March. So many health issues and follow-ups are slipping behind.

I’ve had hives for two months, General Doctor is trying medication before referring me to a Dermatologist. I’m taking two histamine blockers and steroids, still no change. Have scars from the scratching. I have cut out all supplements except probiotics, calcium, and a multivitamin. Had just started several herbal supplements for the immune system. Don’t think there’s a connection but can’t come up with anything to set the hives off.

Trying to decide if all the symptoms are Fibromyalgia or a Lyme relapse or both.

I hope for better days ahead.

In Health,

Melinda

It’s all too easy to let your garden go to waste when you don’t put enough time into using it properly. Many people specifically choose homes with outdoor spaces, only to let their garden become overgrown and unusable after just a few short months. Of course, though, a big part of this problem is simply knowing how to use your garden effectively. To help you out with this, this post will be exploring some easy ways to make your garden the ideal space for pilates, yoga, and just about any other static exercise. You don’t need any extra equipment once you’ve gotten started. 

Clear A Space

The first part of this journey is going to involve clearing a space for your pilates area. You won’t need too much room for this, with just enough space for you and your friends to do your exercises while maintaining proper social distance. The more people you have, the more space you will need, and this can often mean having to break into parts of the garden that can long be taken over by nature. Tree removal, weed services, and even landscaping companies can help you with this process, making it possible to make a good start on this side of your garden.

Add Some Ambience

Once you’ve made space, it will be time to start making your garden feel extra relaxing. There are loads of ways to do this, but you want to make sure that your changes are ambient, rather than sticking out and demanding attention. Water fountains, wind chimes, and speakers can be used to generate sound that will make your garden feel natural and open, while different materials can be used to highlight different aspects of your garden. Many people go over the top when they are doing this, but it is worth keeping in mind that you’re trying to capture nature, rather than making your space feel like a disco.

Start Planning

Planning your pilates area will always be a good idea as you go through this process. You need to think about when you’re going to use it, building a routine that will make it easier to keep up with your exercise. Alongside this, though, it can also be good to think about who will be joining you for each workout. Having friends to enjoy a space like this with you will always improve the way that it feels and the use you’re able to get out of it. Of course, though, you will need to take the first step and invite people if you’re going to find success.

With all of this in mind, you should be feeling ready to get started on making your garden perfect for pilates. Having a space for activities like this can make it much easier to keep on top of them and continue your good work. Of course, though, at the same time, and a lot of people find themselves struggling when they get to points like this, and you may need some help from friends along the way.

This is a collaborative post.

In Health

Melinda

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By Juana Poareo, Next Avenue Contributor

Kaci Smith, 36, recalls the gradual emergence of her PTSD symptoms about three years ago when she’d been caring for her mother at home following her mom’s 2012 stroke.

“It would be things like almost feeling like a panic attack,” says Smith, a Rochester, N.Y. teacher. “If she would complain of leg pain, I would think, ‘Oh, no. It’s a blood clot. We’re going to have to go through all this medical stuff again.’”

Smith, who stopped working when Covid-19 forced the U.S. into lockdown, has been a 24/7 caregiver for her mother during the pandemic and is on anti-anxiety medicine.

As the Caregiving in the U.S. 2020 report from AARP and the National Alliance for Caregiving documented, being a family caregiver can be high stress. It can also, in some cases, bring on PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), an anxiety disorder caused by trauma. PTSD symptoms typically range from flashbacks and recurring dreams to insomnia and poor concentration.

Researching the Caregiving PTSD Link

Exactly how often caregiving can lead to PTSD is unknown.

“There remains very little research or attention on PTSD among caregivers,” says Dr. Ranak Trivedi, an assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Stanford University.Recommended For You

But, Trivedi adds, “As clinical psychologists, we are also recognizing that chronic stress that is unrelenting — such as through caregiving — can lead to PTSD.”

Jennifer McAdam, an associate professor in the School of Nursing at Samuel Merritt University who co-authored a study about family caregivers of ICU patients, says more research needs to be conducted to establish the true impact of caregiver PTSD.