Survivor

No More Excuses SVU Marathon 6/22/14 "Stop the Violence"

In honor of Father’s Day, and all the men who have joined the movement to say NO MORE to Domestic Violence and sexual assault, join us for the NO MORE Excuses Marathon, next Sunday, June 22nd on USA Network.

Tune in for special messages from the Law & Order: SVU cast, including special new videos

Watch for the star-studded NO MORE PSAs

There’s an extensive list of resources available. Mariska Hargitay who plays a cop on SVU, gives a special address. Mariska started the Joyful Heart Foundation in 2004 with the mission to help heal, educate and empower survivors of sexual assault, domestic violence and child abuse. NO MORE and End the Backlog are featured programs of the Joyful Heart Foundation.

KNOW THE FACTS

WHAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?

Domestic Violence is a pattern of behavior used to establish power and control over another person through fear and intimidation, often including the threat or use of violence. Some signs of an abusive relationship include:

Exerting strict control (financial, social and/or appearance).
Needing constant contact including excessive texts and calls.
Insulting a partner in front of other people.
Extreme jealousy.
Showing fear around a partner.
Isolation from family and friends.
Frequent canceling of plans at the last-minute.
Unexplained injuries or explanations that don’t quite add up.

 

Warrior

Survivor

No More Excuses SVU Marathon 6/22/14 “Stop the Violence”

In honor of Father’s Day, and all the men who have joined the movement to say NO MORE to Domestic Violence and sexual assault, join us for the NO MORE Excuses Marathon, next Sunday, June 22nd on USA Network.

Tune in for special messages from the Law & Order: SVU cast, including special new videos

Watch for the star-studded NO MORE PSAs

There’s an extensive list of resources available. Mariska Hargitay who plays a cop on SVU, gives a special address. Mariska started the Joyful Heart Foundation in 2004 with the mission to help heal, educate and empower survivors of sexual assault, domestic violence and child abuse. NO MORE and End the Backlog are featured programs of the Joyful Heart Foundation.

KNOW THE FACTS

WHAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?

Domestic Violence is a pattern of behavior used to establish power and control over another person through fear and intimidation, often including the threat or use of violence. Some signs of an abusive relationship include:

Exerting strict control (financial, social and/or appearance).
Needing constant contact including excessive texts and calls.
Insulting a partner in front of other people.
Extreme jealousy.
Showing fear around a partner.
Isolation from family and friends.
Frequent canceling of plans at the last-minute.
Unexplained injuries or explanations that don’t quite add up.

 

Warrior

Survivor

Allied Soldiers Arrive 1944 on Shores Of Normandy,France

Thank you to all the Hero’s I’ll never know. Today and everyday I remember America is a free nation because others made sacrifices. Here’s a Texas size hug!

Today is the 70th anniversary of D-Day when more than a 160,000 Allied troops landing on a 50 miles stretch of beaches in Normandy, France. The shores were heavily fortified, over 9,000 were killed or wounded. The sacrifice made by the first men opened the doors for an extra 100,000 plus men to defeat Nazi Germany. We have lost many from this generation, some say the greatest generation. I think war is war and losing one American is too many. I’m not naïve enough to think more American’s are not going to die or wounded in current and future conflicts. As we honor these Hero’s today let’s remember we are a free country because of the sacrifices made since we put foot on this land. Many Veterans feel they have been forgotten, who could blame them after the VA scandal. We don’t know the names of every man and woman who died for us. We’re home in the cozy lazy boy compared to the horrid weather soldiers have endured over the years. When you see a Veteran, go shake their hand and tell then how much appreciate their sacrifice. Because of the sacrifices the Military we are America Home of the Free. We need to let that soak in when we see what’s going on in a large part of the world today. I would like to tell you more about my gramps who is my Hero.

My Hero

My Gramps An American Hero

Many of you know my gramps means everything to me from previous  post. He was hard-headed, a gentleman, liked dirty jokes, loved a game of 42 and devoted to his family. He married my grandmother when my father was 10 years old. My grandfather was a good-looking man, the bluest eyes, big flirt, great sense of humor, hard-working and above all he was smart. He was 35 years old when they married in 1950, very unusual for a man of that generation. I say he was smart because he joined the Army at 17 years old, upon returning from the war he took his time finding his forever wife. My grandmother was very attractive, even with her crossed eyes, he had choices and my grandmother was his choice.  At 35 years old he knew what he wanted in a wife vs. a girlfriend. He raised my father the same way he raised me. When I got my driver’s licence at 15 years old, he made me pay $50 a year to cover part of the insurance. I also paid $8 a week for gas. That doesn’t sound like much, gas was $0.89 at the time. I was only able to drive to/from work and take granny to the mall. No cruising, no nothing and the rules didn’t change when I got my car at 16 years old. I was writing for our school paper and writing sports for the Irving Daily News, they were on the approved list. He was smart because he knew I drank and if I couldn’t drive on the weekend my risk were reduced. My gramps was the pillar of responsibility. One of his lesson’s, if  you borrow something give it back in better shape. I was so blessed move in with them at 14 years old. I learned so much more than I knew until he was gone. We had so much fun, I think he was the best gramps ever.

We didn’t talk about the war much, they weren’t memories he wanted to relive. A couple of years before his death while looking at discharge papers I saw he had a Bronze Star among other medals. This did not surprise me but you will probably get a kick out of. I said where is your Bronze Star, he walked out to garage and pulled out of his tool box. That was gramps. I asked what he did to get it and he said they gave them to everyone. I knew it wasn’t true but went along. All the Military records for a segment of the alphabet were housed in Kansas City, in the 1970’s the building caught fire and all the records were lost. His paperwork was in the fire. I figured there was a way to get what I needed. I gave her the information on his discharge papers and she sent me a replacement for every medal awarded. I showed him so proudly what I had done, he said what did you that for? The medals could be like memories he didn’t want to remember. I love you gramps.

Warrior

Survivor

Senate Appropriations Approves Funding to Address Nation's Rape Kit Backlog

Senate Appropriations Committee Affirms Longstanding Commitment to Addressing Rape Kit Backlogs

On Thursday, June 5, the Senate Appropriations Committee approved a spending bill that addresses the nation’s rape kit backlog. Central to this effort is the renewal of current funding levels of $117 million to support the Debbie Smith DNA Backlog Grant Program, which supports the testing of backlogged sexual assault forensic exams (rape kits). The bill also establishes and funds a new program to support community-based sexual assault response reform. In April, the House of Representatives also approved level funding for the proven Debbie Smith Act and provided an additional $35 million in support of efforts to address backlogs of sexual assault kits at law enforcement agencies.

RAINN, together with allied organizations and individuals including the National Center for Victims of Crime, Debbie Smith of H-E-A-R-T, Inc, the National Alliance Against Sexual Violence, Parents of Murdered Children, Ed Smart of the Surviving Parents Coalition, DNA Saves, and the International Association of Forensic Nurses, has expressed support for continued funding of the Debbie Smith Act and complementary efforts that will help to remove serial criminals from our streets and enhance public safety.

The full Senate is expected to consider the spending measure, which also supports a number of other programs and initiatives designed to support victims of sexual violence and hold perpetrators accountable, in the coming weeks. The differences between the House and Senate-approved spending plans must then be reconciled.

Join RAINN’s efforts to renew the Debbie Smith Program for the next five years, and support this and additional funding to help achieve justice for survivors:

https://rainn.org/public-policy/rainn-action-center

Be a part of the conversation on Twitter & Facebook: #ActwithRAINN

We’re fighting justice for all Rape victims. The criminals receive justice if DNA in Federal Database, current cases and proven innocence for those in jail. Sounds like a WIN-WIN.

Warrior

Survivor

Senate Appropriations Approves Funding to Address Nation’s Rape Kit Backlog

Senate Appropriations Committee Affirms Longstanding Commitment to Addressing Rape Kit Backlogs

On Thursday, June 5, the Senate Appropriations Committee approved a spending bill that addresses the nation’s rape kit backlog. Central to this effort is the renewal of current funding levels of $117 million to support the Debbie Smith DNA Backlog Grant Program, which supports the testing of backlogged sexual assault forensic exams (rape kits). The bill also establishes and funds a new program to support community-based sexual assault response reform. In April, the House of Representatives also approved level funding for the proven Debbie Smith Act and provided an additional $35 million in support of efforts to address backlogs of sexual assault kits at law enforcement agencies.

RAINN, together with allied organizations and individuals including the National Center for Victims of Crime, Debbie Smith of H-E-A-R-T, Inc, the National Alliance Against Sexual Violence, Parents of Murdered Children, Ed Smart of the Surviving Parents Coalition, DNA Saves, and the International Association of Forensic Nurses, has expressed support for continued funding of the Debbie Smith Act and complementary efforts that will help to remove serial criminals from our streets and enhance public safety.

The full Senate is expected to consider the spending measure, which also supports a number of other programs and initiatives designed to support victims of sexual violence and hold perpetrators accountable, in the coming weeks. The differences between the House and Senate-approved spending plans must then be reconciled.

Join RAINN’s efforts to renew the Debbie Smith Program for the next five years, and support this and additional funding to help achieve justice for survivors:

https://rainn.org/public-policy/rainn-action-center

Be a part of the conversation on Twitter & Facebook: #ActwithRAINN

We’re fighting justice for all Rape victims. The criminals receive justice if DNA in Federal Database, current cases and proven innocence for those in jail. Sounds like a WIN-WIN.

Warrior

Survivor

Funding Update for Rape Kit "End The Backlog" FY2015

A Step Closer to Landmark Reform

 Today, we have moved one step closer to achieving landmark rape kit reform. This morning, the Senate Appropriations Committee approved $41 million in its FY2015 Commerce, Justice and Science spending bill to address the rape kit backlog. The Senate’s actions follow on the heels of last week’s vote by the House of Representatives for this historic level of funding in its new spending bill. The new program will provide communities with the vital resources they need to help end the backlog at law enforcement agencies throughout the country, with a focus on investigating cases and re-engaging survivors in the process.

As we begin the final push to ensure this funding is passed by the full Senate, we urge you to join the thousands who have already taken action and made their voices heard.Write to your Senators and urge them to support this funding as the bill moves through the Senate. Send your letter here. Thank the members of the Senate and House Appropriations Committee leadership who prioritized this funding. Share your tweets here.

Help spread the word about the rape kit backlog and our efforts to end it with your community. Get started here. Funding for comprehensive rape kit reform sends a message to survivors that they—and their cases—matter. It sends a message to perpetrators that they will be held accountable for their crimes. It demonstrates a commitment to survivors to do everything possible to bring healing and justice.

Thank you for joining us.

Maile Zambuto

Chief Executive Officer

Joyful Heart Foundation

I wanted to keep everyone up to date on the funding process. Funding approval is vital to give states the money to process all Rape Kits in backlog.

Warrior

Survivor

Funding Update for Rape Kit “End The Backlog” FY2015

A Step Closer to Landmark Reform

 Today, we have moved one step closer to achieving landmark rape kit reform. This morning, the Senate Appropriations Committee approved $41 million in its FY2015 Commerce, Justice and Science spending bill to address the rape kit backlog. The Senate’s actions follow on the heels of last week’s vote by the House of Representatives for this historic level of funding in its new spending bill. The new program will provide communities with the vital resources they need to help end the backlog at law enforcement agencies throughout the country, with a focus on investigating cases and re-engaging survivors in the process.

As we begin the final push to ensure this funding is passed by the full Senate, we urge you to join the thousands who have already taken action and made their voices heard.Write to your Senators and urge them to support this funding as the bill moves through the Senate. Send your letter here. Thank the members of the Senate and House Appropriations Committee leadership who prioritized this funding. Share your tweets here.

Help spread the word about the rape kit backlog and our efforts to end it with your community. Get started here. Funding for comprehensive rape kit reform sends a message to survivors that they—and their cases—matter. It sends a message to perpetrators that they will be held accountable for their crimes. It demonstrates a commitment to survivors to do everything possible to bring healing and justice.

Thank you for joining us.

Maile Zambuto

Chief Executive Officer

Joyful Heart Foundation

I wanted to keep everyone up to date on the funding process. Funding approval is vital to give states the money to process all Rape Kits in backlog.

Warrior

Survivor

Younger Brother’s Plan Next Move

You would laugh so hard watching Banjo and Truffles fight. Truffles will get on back legs and hit Banjo like boxing. Shaggy only worries about his food bowl and not getting caught on the bed.

Banjo
Banjo
Sweet Shaggy
Sweet Shaggy

 

Warrior

Survivor

Younger Brother's Plan Next Move

You would laugh so hard watching Banjo and Truffles fight. Truffles will get on back legs and hit Banjo like boxing. Shaggy only worries about his food bowl and not getting caught on the bed.

Banjo
Banjo
Sweet Shaggy
Sweet Shaggy

 

Warrior

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Moving Forward · Survivor · Trauma

Dating Violence, Stabbed 32 Times and Survives

By MELISSA DOHME CBS NEWS May 30, 2014, 2:15 PM

48 Hours: Dating violence survivor tells story

My name is Melissa Dohme. I am twenty-two years old and I live in Clearwater, Florida. On January 24, 2012, I found myself surrounded with family, covered in bandages, connected to machines, with tubes down my throat, praying and thanking God for saving my life. Hours before this moment I was lying alone in the road outside my home, covered in blood, taking what I thought would be my last breath. I had just been viciously attacked, beaten, and stabbed 32 times. How could this happen?

Looking back three years prior, I remember the exact moment I met this extremely charming, sweet, and funny guy named Robert Burton. When we started dating, everything was perfect, but as I prepared for my high school graduation, things began to change. Robert became extremely jealous, controlling, and short-tempered. I was going through verbal and emotional abuse throughout our two-year relationship without knowing it was abuse. The violence turned physical in the last few months, and by then I felt completely trapped. He would tell me if I was to leave or tell anyone about the abuse, he would kill me, my family, and himself. He began attempting suicide to scare me, but would stop and threaten me with weapons to prove he was serious.

One night, I had the opportunity, courage, and strength to run away and call the police–and finally, Robert was arrested for domestic battery. I felt my shackles of shame and fear release and I could safely end the relationship. After three months of peace and healing, Robert began calling me repeatedly in the middle of the night. He had one request–a hug. He was crying and said, “After all we have been through, I just need closure to move on after the terrible end to our relationship.” He promised to leave me alone forever if I just met him for a hug.

I ignored my intuition and walked outside. I was immediately ambushed. 19 stabs to my head, neck, and face; 13 stabs to my hands and arms in an attempt to defend myself. Two teens nearby heard me screaming, attempted to intervene, and called 911. I owe my life to these two angels. Once Robert believed he succeeded in taking my life, he drove away and attempted suicide. We were both saved that night, and thankfully, he is now serving a life sentence with no chance of parole.

When first responders arrived, I was alert enough to identify myself and him, despite hemorrhaging severely from cut arteries in my neck. I was airlifted to the hospital where I flat-lined four times, received twelve units of blood, suffered a stroke in my cerebellum, had a fractured skull, nose, and jaw with missing teeth, facial paralysis, stabbed larynx, and was severely beaten. It’s a miracle I am still alive today — even the doctors say so. I know God saved me, He couldn’t stop what happened but He did perfectly line up each individual after the attack who had a hand in saving my life.

I believe I was saved to tell my story. Through my faith I learned to accept, forgive, and move on. I realized I was given a voice for those who are too afraid to speak or no longer have the chance because their abuser succeeded in taking their life. I was saved to educate teenagers of the dangers of dating violence. When I was in high school, no one spoke about dating violence and if they had, I firmly believe I would have never gone through what I did. Following that horrific night, I felt the conviction to speak out, become an advocate, and create change. I now work as domestic violence advocate for a local non-profit organization, Hands Across the Bay, where and every day is a blessing.

——-

Melissa is a true hero. She turned the horrific events of that night to a mission to educate others. I would be proud to meet her and thank her. She will save someone’s  life with her efforts. She is courageous, embodies strength and a passion to help. I would hug her for turning the pain into a positive and not living with a resentful heart. Melissa is a special person. Stories like Melissa’s keep my past pain in perspective reminding me how blessed I am. 

Warrior

Repost from 2014

Moving Forward · Survivor

Get the Media out of the Trenches!

Post written 2/7/06

It’s relevant today as the day written. Time to dust it off. Let’s hear what you think.

This week several journalist, American and Iraqi soldiers died in an attack while outside their vehicle doing an interview. Journalist Bob Woodruf isn’t even back to work from his brush with death and now a competing station loses several employees. Media giants will do anything to boost ratings and bottom line. If employees and soldiers have to die, it’s the cost of doing business. One of the top female journalist was gang raped in Egypt, being pulled by each limb. She later said thoughts of being pulled apart crossed her mind. Then put on a happy face and went right back to Egypt. How can we set back and accept this? How can the CEO of these corporations live with blood on their hands? How can shareholders not hold them accountable? It is a shame profits drive them to allow journalist to make a decision to put their life in danger.

The military shares responsibility, now is time to review policy on the sheer number of journalist on the ground, embedded with troops and reporting from hot zones. Journalist have chronicled wars from behind the lens for years. It is important to have the current news today and for history.You’re not casting the next Reality Show. It’s war or hot zone, journalist are endangering the lives of soldiers, locals and themselves. It is a ratings war that can only be won by someone losing a life.

This is REALITY and journalist need to get out-of-the-way and let our soldiers do what they trained to do and come home alive not do interviews in a hot zone.

Warrior

Men & Womens Health · Moving Forward · Survivor

Washington Doesn’t Want to Talk About Vaginas

Jaha Dukureh is a survivor, driven with incredible inner strength. This article is a great follow-up to the post I wrote on Female Genital Mutilation. 

This is the worst form of abuse on children and women. I can appreciate bringing traditions when moving to America. Female Genital Mutilation is a tradition not excepted in America. The violence and violation of children and women is illegal, not a tradition America has ever followed and is inhumane. Most people are not familiar with Female Genital Mutilation, now is a good time to educate yourself and others. Jaha’s clitoris and labia removed and her vagina stitched leaving only a small hole to urinate and menstruate. Sex is very painful.This procedure is Type 3 FGM. It is a long post but please read her brave and motivating story. Please sign the petition on Change.org. She is a survivor and want’s to teach Americans what to do to stop FGM in America. The Futures Without Violence website http://exchange.futureswithoutviolence.org is a great resource to offer support and educate. 

From the Futures Without Violence Website.

Jaha Dukureh: ‘In Washington, they don’t want to talk about Vaginas’

An Atlanta woman who is a survivor of female genital mutilation is leading a campaign for the US to take action on a brutal practice happening in its own backyard. Jaha Dukureh does not give up easily. When, aged just 15, she was sent to New York from Gambia for an arranged marriage, it looked like her dream of getting an education was over. But she refused to stop trying.

“I went to school after school, begging them to let me join, but because I didn’t have my parents with me they said I couldn’t enrol,” she says. “At the last school I just told them I was all on my own, and I sat in the principal’s office and cried until finally they gave in.” Within days, she had joined the class. “You don’t even know how happy that made me. I was so excited just to sit in class and learn,” she says.

Now Jaha is facing a new challenge: trying to help bring an end to female genital mutilation, otherwise known as FGM, in the US. The 24-year-old mother of three, who now lives in Atlanta, went through the practice – which involves removing some or all of a girl’s outer sexual organs – when she was only a week old. But she knows many girls who, despite being born and raised in the United States, were taken as children back to their family’s country to be cut and hears stories that cutters are also at work on American soil.

“FGM is not something that is happening in a far away place. It is happening here to American girls,” she says. “When these kids are being sent back they are told they are going to meet their families. Often the parents are not to blame, they take their kids back home and it can be done without your permission, you go out and come back to a mutilated child.”

Sign the petition to end female genital mutilation in the US
Ask President Obama to take the essential first step of commissioning a report to establish how many American women and girls are at risk of female genital mutilation. Experts say this is the first step in tackling a crime that persists despite legislation. UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon is backing the campaign saying FGM is a “human rights violation” that must end. Show your support

Change.org Petition to end FGM
After hearing about the campaign of British schoolgirl Fahma Mohamed – who headed a successful Guardian-backed campaign to get more education about FGM in schools – Jaha started a petition on the campaigning website Change.org. She is calling for a new study to find out just how many girls and women are affected by FGM in the US, as the first step to forming a national action plan to tackle the brutal practice.

“There is such a culture of silence about FGM in America. If you stand up and say ‘This happened to me’, people will scrutinise you, but someone has to stand up and say, this can’t go on happening. This is a human rights abuse and it has to stop,” she says.

A culture of silence and fear around the subject – coupled with public apathy and lack of awareness – has allowed the practice to continue under the radar, she says. “When people come to this country they bring their traditions with them – they eat the same food, dress in the same way – what makes people think that they won’t continue with FGM?” she asks. “Yes it’s a cultural issue but I’m from this culture and I am saying, this is not to our benefit. This is abuse.”

Jaha has already spent her life challenging accepted cultural norms. As one of five girls and three boys, she grew up in Gambia and was among the first girls in her family to go to school. “Some family members would complain because instead of coming home and learning to be a woman, I’d be in talent shows and after-school classes,” she says. “My mom was so proud of me, she would sell clothes or take African products to the UK to sell so she could pay my school fees. She wanted me to become a doctor.”

But when she was in 7th grade her mother was diagnosed with cancer. Unable to find treatment in Gambia she went to the UK, taking Jaha with her. “She wanted me to go to school, but it just wasn’t possible, so when I was 14, I just spent all my time going back and forth to hospital.” When her mother was told she had three months to live, she sent Jaha back home. “She didn’t want me to see her die.”

On her return, without a mother to protect her, she was told she had to go to New York to marry a man in his 40s. Still just 15 when she arrived, she soon found out that not only had she gone through FGM as a child, she had been subjected to the most extreme form. Jaha had type 3 FGM, where the clitoris and labia are removed before the girl is stitched together, leaving only a very small hole to urinate and menstruate.

“I went through days and weeks of excruciating pain when [my husband] was trying to have sex with me,” she says. She was taken to a doctor in Manhattan who opened her vagina, and told her she had to have sex that day or the wound would close again. “This happened in America, it was like I went through the FGM all over again.”

When the marriage broke down, Jaha refused to stay with her husband and was taken in by family members. Without anyone to vouch for her, she went to 10 different schools where she was told her she could not be enrolled without a guardian’s consent, before the 11th agreed. “I went to school during the day and waitresses in Harlem in the evening for lunch money and clothes,” she said. “But you know, I went to the prom. I saved up and I bought my prom dress, I got a date, I was a real American girl.”

When she was 17 she moved to Atlanta to be married for a second time. “I was very lucky because my husband understands my passion for education and he is the best dad for my kids I could ask for,” she says. She finished high school and put herself through college, and started work as a bank teller. In three and a half years she has been promoted three times and now works as a personal banker. “When people ask where I am from, I say I’m a Georgia peach,” she says. “This is home now. There are so many opportunities here and there is no way that girls should miss out on that because of FGM. That does not sit well with me.”

Her campaign has not been easy. After she spoke publicly for the first time, Jaha suffered immediate and severe backlash. “People called my husband, my sister, my dad. They said I wanted to get people locked up, break up families – but that is not my message,” she says. Jaha’s husband and father both respect her decision to lead the campaign, as hard as it may be and she refuses to be scared into submission. “Whatever they do, I am not afraid. They are not going to make me stop. The safety of our daughters is more important than that”.

Between looking after her young family and working as a personal banker she tours schools, colleges and community groups to talk about the dangers of FGM , and with other survivors has set up a foundation called Safe Hands for Girls.

But now she is taking her campaign to the top by asking for better data on FGM in the United States and as a first step to creating a national action plan to train educators, health professionals and police – and give survivors a safe place to seek help.

“In Washington they don’t want to talk about Vaginas, they don’t want to hear about this issue and they don’t want to address it,” she says. “Sometimes, I feel is Washington afraid to tackle FGM, are they scared of it?”

She is determined to keep fighting until FGM is recognised as a real risk for American girls and policies are put in place to protect them. “I don’t want to be poster child. I want every woman who has been through this to be able to speak out,” she says. “But you know, in every revolution one person has to stand up to be counted, then other people follow. Right now everyone is turning a blind eye and pretending nothing is wrong – but once we stand up together, they won’t be able to ignore us any more.”

Warrior

Men & Womens Health · Moving Forward · Survivor

Washington Doesn't Want to Talk About Vaginas

Jaha Dukureh is a survivor, driven with incredible inner strength. This article is a great follow-up to the post I wrote on Female Genital Mutilation. 

This is the worst form of abuse on children and women. I can appreciate bringing traditions when moving to America. Female Genital Mutilation is a tradition not excepted in America. The violence and violation of children and women is illegal, not a tradition America has ever followed and is inhumane. Most people are not familiar with Female Genital Mutilation, now is a good time to educate yourself and others. Jaha’s clitoris and labia removed and her vagina stitched leaving only a small hole to urinate and menstruate. Sex is very painful.This procedure is Type 3 FGM. It is a long post but please read her brave and motivating story. Please sign the petition on Change.org. She is a survivor and want’s to teach Americans what to do to stop FGM in America. The Futures Without Violence website http://exchange.futureswithoutviolence.org is a great resource to offer support and educate. 

From the Futures Without Violence Website.

Jaha Dukureh: ‘In Washington, they don’t want to talk about Vaginas’

An Atlanta woman who is a survivor of female genital mutilation is leading a campaign for the US to take action on a brutal practice happening in its own backyard. Jaha Dukureh does not give up easily. When, aged just 15, she was sent to New York from Gambia for an arranged marriage, it looked like her dream of getting an education was over. But she refused to stop trying.

“I went to school after school, begging them to let me join, but because I didn’t have my parents with me they said I couldn’t enrol,” she says. “At the last school I just told them I was all on my own, and I sat in the principal’s office and cried until finally they gave in.” Within days, she had joined the class. “You don’t even know how happy that made me. I was so excited just to sit in class and learn,” she says.

Now Jaha is facing a new challenge: trying to help bring an end to female genital mutilation, otherwise known as FGM, in the US. The 24-year-old mother of three, who now lives in Atlanta, went through the practice – which involves removing some or all of a girl’s outer sexual organs – when she was only a week old. But she knows many girls who, despite being born and raised in the United States, were taken as children back to their family’s country to be cut and hears stories that cutters are also at work on American soil.

“FGM is not something that is happening in a far away place. It is happening here to American girls,” she says. “When these kids are being sent back they are told they are going to meet their families. Often the parents are not to blame, they take their kids back home and it can be done without your permission, you go out and come back to a mutilated child.”

Sign the petition to end female genital mutilation in the US
Ask President Obama to take the essential first step of commissioning a report to establish how many American women and girls are at risk of female genital mutilation. Experts say this is the first step in tackling a crime that persists despite legislation. UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon is backing the campaign saying FGM is a “human rights violation” that must end. Show your support

Change.org Petition to end FGM
After hearing about the campaign of British schoolgirl Fahma Mohamed – who headed a successful Guardian-backed campaign to get more education about FGM in schools – Jaha started a petition on the campaigning website Change.org. She is calling for a new study to find out just how many girls and women are affected by FGM in the US, as the first step to forming a national action plan to tackle the brutal practice.

“There is such a culture of silence about FGM in America. If you stand up and say ‘This happened to me’, people will scrutinise you, but someone has to stand up and say, this can’t go on happening. This is a human rights abuse and it has to stop,” she says.

A culture of silence and fear around the subject – coupled with public apathy and lack of awareness – has allowed the practice to continue under the radar, she says. “When people come to this country they bring their traditions with them – they eat the same food, dress in the same way – what makes people think that they won’t continue with FGM?” she asks. “Yes it’s a cultural issue but I’m from this culture and I am saying, this is not to our benefit. This is abuse.”

Jaha has already spent her life challenging accepted cultural norms. As one of five girls and three boys, she grew up in Gambia and was among the first girls in her family to go to school. “Some family members would complain because instead of coming home and learning to be a woman, I’d be in talent shows and after-school classes,” she says. “My mom was so proud of me, she would sell clothes or take African products to the UK to sell so she could pay my school fees. She wanted me to become a doctor.”

But when she was in 7th grade her mother was diagnosed with cancer. Unable to find treatment in Gambia she went to the UK, taking Jaha with her. “She wanted me to go to school, but it just wasn’t possible, so when I was 14, I just spent all my time going back and forth to hospital.” When her mother was told she had three months to live, she sent Jaha back home. “She didn’t want me to see her die.”

On her return, without a mother to protect her, she was told she had to go to New York to marry a man in his 40s. Still just 15 when she arrived, she soon found out that not only had she gone through FGM as a child, she had been subjected to the most extreme form. Jaha had type 3 FGM, where the clitoris and labia are removed before the girl is stitched together, leaving only a very small hole to urinate and menstruate.

“I went through days and weeks of excruciating pain when [my husband] was trying to have sex with me,” she says. She was taken to a doctor in Manhattan who opened her vagina, and told her she had to have sex that day or the wound would close again. “This happened in America, it was like I went through the FGM all over again.”

When the marriage broke down, Jaha refused to stay with her husband and was taken in by family members. Without anyone to vouch for her, she went to 10 different schools where she was told her she could not be enrolled without a guardian’s consent, before the 11th agreed. “I went to school during the day and waitresses in Harlem in the evening for lunch money and clothes,” she said. “But you know, I went to the prom. I saved up and I bought my prom dress, I got a date, I was a real American girl.”

When she was 17 she moved to Atlanta to be married for a second time. “I was very lucky because my husband understands my passion for education and he is the best dad for my kids I could ask for,” she says. She finished high school and put herself through college, and started work as a bank teller. In three and a half years she has been promoted three times and now works as a personal banker. “When people ask where I am from, I say I’m a Georgia peach,” she says. “This is home now. There are so many opportunities here and there is no way that girls should miss out on that because of FGM. That does not sit well with me.”

Her campaign has not been easy. After she spoke publicly for the first time, Jaha suffered immediate and severe backlash. “People called my husband, my sister, my dad. They said I wanted to get people locked up, break up families – but that is not my message,” she says. Jaha’s husband and father both respect her decision to lead the campaign, as hard as it may be and she refuses to be scared into submission. “Whatever they do, I am not afraid. They are not going to make me stop. The safety of our daughters is more important than that”.

Between looking after her young family and working as a personal banker she tours schools, colleges and community groups to talk about the dangers of FGM , and with other survivors has set up a foundation called Safe Hands for Girls.

But now she is taking her campaign to the top by asking for better data on FGM in the United States and as a first step to creating a national action plan to train educators, health professionals and police – and give survivors a safe place to seek help.

“In Washington they don’t want to talk about Vaginas, they don’t want to hear about this issue and they don’t want to address it,” she says. “Sometimes, I feel is Washington afraid to tackle FGM, are they scared of it?”

She is determined to keep fighting until FGM is recognised as a real risk for American girls and policies are put in place to protect them. “I don’t want to be poster child. I want every woman who has been through this to be able to speak out,” she says. “But you know, in every revolution one person has to stand up to be counted, then other people follow. Right now everyone is turning a blind eye and pretending nothing is wrong – but once we stand up together, they won’t be able to ignore us any more.”

Warrior

Moving Forward · Survivor

Brave Heart Award

The Brave Heart Mission Statement

To encourage all those (men & women) who have been abused (all abuse) to share their hope with others so that they will no longer be a victim but a survivor that knows they are loved.

 

A Victims Journal nominated me for the Brave Heart Award. There are not enough words to express how helpful, positive and inspiring she is to me. I admire her raw and honest post. The feedback she gives is no less raw. Her sixth sense of knowing when you need a boost or a little prodding helps keep me on track. I feel like she reads all of my post and always has a hug and positive affirmation.

 Rules of Acceptance:
Thank the person who nominated you.
Answer 12 questions put before you.
Nominate/award 12 bloggers.
Notify nominees/awardees with a link to their blogs on yours.

12 Questions Asked

1.Tell us a bit about your blog. Who designed it

The blog is an avenue to tell my story of physical, emotional and sexual abuse. I believe it also serves as a resource for men & women alike. I used a Word Press template and designed myself.

2. What is the title and description of your blog?

Looking for the Light is my blog which focuses on my story of abuse  and Mental Illness.

3. Who is your intended audience?

Anyone who has suffered trauma. I believe we can all help each other.

4. How did you come up with the title of your blog?

I’m Bipolar and in my worst times it gets very dark.  It sounded positive and I thought others could relate.

5. Give us an interesting fun fact about your blog.

One of the greatest rewards of blogging is meeting people from around the world.

6. What other blogs do you own and what makes them alike?

I have two inactive blogs. Life Full of Memories and Defining Memories. The blogs include photography and the challenges of being a caregiver to my grandparents. When I decided to blog about abuse and Mental Illness I wanted a fresh start.

7. Do you have any unique talents or hobbies?       

I’m very curious. You will find books on totally unrelated topics in my bookcase.

8. How can we contact you or find out more about your blog?

http://lookingforthelight.me

9. What can we expect from you in the future?

More honest, no holding back post and offering a hand when possible.

10. What can readers who enjoy your blog do to help make your blog more successful?

Ask questions, leave good relies and keep coming back. ReBlog post that can help their followers.

11. Do you have any tips for readers or advice for other writers/bloggers?

Be honest and keep writing what you care about.

12. Before you go, could you share a snippet from your blog?

9 Year Old  Living in Hell

My brother and I called our stepfather a Nazi because he was mostly German and he would beat our mother unmercifully daily. Her crimes as we knew them were not having dinner ready or not warm enough. The kids were to loud, noise was not allowed in the house, he was an alcoholic with major control issues. I was 9 years old, my brother six & half years old and our two-step brothers where much younger. 

Here are my nominees/awardees:

  Please check out each our nominees blog, I’m sure you will learn, laugh or cry.

http://teelahart.com

http:/dietrying999.wordpress.com    Blog: Unspoken Truth

http://armyofangels.wordpress.com

http://brokenarrow.wordpress.com

http://sedge808.com    Blog:Nior

http://frombehindcloseddoors

http://davidkanigan.com    Blog: Live & Learn

http://ellebellblog.wordpress.com

http://hopeinhealingblog.wordpress.com    Blog: More than Skin Deep

http://despairtodeliverance.com

http://rosierdoyle.wordpress.com    Blog:From Behind Closed Doors 

http://dwhinson56.wordpress.com   Blog: Willy Nilly To and Fro

 

Warrior

Moving Forward · Survivor

Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network (RAINN) Monthly Update

Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network        

RAINN MONTHLY UPDATE

http://RAINN.ORG

Online Help – 1.800.656.HOPE (4673) RAINN: The nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization.
One of “America’s 100 Best Charities” -Worth magazine

House Votes to Renew DNA Bill
A bill to renew the Debbie Smith Act, which would help eliminate the backlog of untested DNA evidence from unsolved rape cases, was passed by the House of Representatives.

Learn More on Website
RAINN Teams Up with Degrassi to Help Teens.
TV show Degrassi included a storyline that followed the aftermath of an alcohol-facilitated sexual assault and its impact on the school. In conjunction with the episode, TeenNick aired a PSA that encouraged viewers to get help from the National Sexual Assault Hotline.

Learn More on Website
Survivor Spotlight: Stories of Support
This month, survivors share how loved ones helped them on their paths toward hope and healing
How You Can Support a Friend This Month
If you or someone you love has been assaulted, it’s crucial to have a support system in place. A new series of infographics shares ways you can be supportive.

Learn more on Website

Anniversary of ‘Speak’ Connects with New Generation. RAINN and publishing house Macmillan bring Laurie Halse Anderson’s “Speak” to a new generation of young readers. Learn more about the #Speak4RAINN15 campaign and how a $15 donation can help a survivor today.

Warrior

Survivor

Terrorist BoKo Haram and Nigerian Government #BringBackOurGirls

I met two women bloggers living in Nigeria last week while looking for information on the kidnapped schoolgirls. They welcomed me with open arms and were patient answering all my questions. I wanted an understanding of the country in hopes of making sense of almost 300 schoolgirls being kidnapped. Not to mention 1,500 people killed this year by terrorist group Boko Haram. Without knowing the history of the country it is difficult to understand the dynamics, corruption and terrorist groups operating in the country. Nigeria is one of the largest African nations and is Christian and Muslims. I think getting the facts from people on the ground versus me or the media is more important. I’ve included links to the wonderful women who helped me immensely.

http://maureenoblaq.wordpress.com

http://musingsofahappymortal.wordpress.com

*******************************************

Change.org

There’s a powerful petition taking off on Change.org and we think you might be interested in signing it: Live link at end of post.

All World Leaders: Bring Back Nigeria’s 200 Missing School Girls #BringBackOurGirls.

In Nigeria, over 200 girls were recently abducted from their boarding school and plans are reported of them being selling them as brides for $12 each. I am calling on the world to unite and save them.
The abducted young girls are being affected by a conflict they did not create, and their voices need to be heard. I can only imagine what these 200 girls have been through, and their government is not doing nearly enough to save them.
The group Boko Haram has repeatedly said girls should not be educated. I am a young Nigerian woman pursuing my education in Germany. I believe the Nigerian government must do more to ensure the safe return of these girls.
By signing this petition we declare our solidarity with the kidnapped girls and call upon the world not to forget them, support all efforts to ensure their safe return, and ask all international agencies, organizations and groups to support Nigerian efforts aimed at rescuing them. We also ask that all schools are safe places to learn, protected from attack.

http://www.change.org/en-GB/petitions/all-world-leaders-bring-back-nigeria-s-200-missing-school-girls-bringbackourgirls?recruiter=84245119&utm_campaign=signature_receipt&utm_medium=email&utm_source=share_petition

The person (or organization) who started this petition is not affiliated with Change.org. Change.org did not create this petition and is not responsible for the petition.

 

Warrior

Survivor

#Bring back our girls

blaqaffairs's avatarI am Blaq

image

Copyright
Everywhere I turn today, I’m faced with this abduction story. And I’m pissed about it. I can’t really explain it but I’m going to try.

We’ve so gotten used to bad news in this country but never in the magnitude of the occurrence of Monday, April 14. There was a bombing in the busiest park in the slum town of Nyanya on the outskirts of the capital city. Body counts have been inconclusive. Not that I’m surprised. It ranged between 70 and 100 in the papers.

Citizens have rejected that figure based on their calculations. More than a dozen buses have been filled ready for departure to various parts of the country. That accounts for over 200 persons who never escaped the explosion. Not to mention the hawkers, the touts, the beggars and other sorts of fixtures in Parks nationwide. Residents estimate that over 600 persons were victims of…

View original post 392 more words

Survivor

Sunshine Award for Looking for the Light

Sunshine Award and why I’m Crab Grass

Avalanche of the Soul nominated me for the Sunshine Award. Being a new, I didn’t understand being nominated means you have the award. Please forgive me for taking so long to share my excitement. I was the kid picked last playing Red Rover. I’m not used to getting awards but I’m a quick learner. In addition to her Blog, she contributes to The Cut Throat Club Online where our connection started. She is raw, no sugar-coating, highly knowledgable, open and honest. I’ve received the most touching comments from her. Receiving the award from her is special because she encourages me daily. Her wall of awards is impressive. After reading her Blog you will understand why she is so decorated. Thank you my fellow SURVIVOR. Check out her Blog at http://avalancheofthesoul.wordpress.com

Ten Things about me :)

1.  I started drinking coffee from my baby bottle.

2. I jumped out of an airplane from 12,500 feet.

3.  I have a soft spot for Seniors Citizens and animals.

4.  Love Technology, bring on the gadgets!

5.  If I were a plant I would be crab grass, it’s impossible to kill.

6.  I love travel, my bucket list is long.

7.  No one is to touch anything in my office.

8.  I’m a perfectionist, 50/50 good trait.

9. Wish for one more day with my grandparents, my Angels.

10. I’m deathly afraid of spiders, snakes and sharks. Sharks do not keep me from diving.

My nominees

For this award, I am nominating Blogs who focus on healing, supporting, and overcoming trauma such as Domestic Violence and Child Abuse.

http://sedge808.wordpress.com

http://theslowheal.wordpress.com

http://kelzbelzphotography.wordpress.com

http://mydualities.wordpress.com

http://nolomovement.wordpress.com

http://despairtodeliverence.com

Rules for excepting the Sunshine Award:

1.  Thank the person who nominated you and link back to their Blog.

2.  Share ten things about yourself.

3.  Nominate others for the award.

4.  Announce the nomination to the nominees.

5. Link to graphic:    http://avalancheofthesoul.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/sunshine-award-2.jpg

 

Thanks my friends, Warrior

Survivor

Hundreds of Thousands RAPE KITS UNTESTED

END THE BACKLOG

Give closure to Rape victims 

Give jail time to Abuser

What are we saying to victims? Victims are not important?. Raped at 11 & 12 years old, I didn’t tell a soul. My mother would have beat me silly. Some of you will know this first hand. It takes close to six hours to go through the photos, poking, scraping and prodding of a Rape Kit collection. I hear it’s humiliating and you feel violated again. I don’t have many issues that get under my skin, this is the ONE. How did this happen? Over years the kits collected dust stored at local level without a system to retrieve them. The Rape Kits started crowding out the local precinct storage and shipped to storage facilities and forgotten about. In recent years the money for the DNA testing was expensive and budgets were smaller. END THE BACKLOG has moved mountains in a very short time. Please pass the e-mail around and sign up on website. This is my opinion and not endorsed by End The Backlog.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dear Friend,

We have heard some exciting news and we wanted you to hear it from us first. We also want to ask for your help advocating for change.

As you know, Joyful Heart is dedicated to ending the rape kit backlog nationwide. Every year, more than 200,000 individuals report their rape to the police. Almost all are asked to have a rape kit collected, a process that can take four to six hours to complete. The potential benefits from this invasive process are enormous: testing of the DNA evidence in a rape kit can identify an unknown perpetrator, confirm the presence of a known assailant, corroborate the victim’s account of the rape and exonerate innocent suspects. To accomplish these things, however, the kits must be tested. In the United States, it is estimated that there are hundreds of thousands of untested rape kits in police storage and crime lab facilities simply waiting to be tested. Untested rape kits represent lost justice for rape victims, as they often mean a rape investigation was cut short before the offender could be brought to justice. Currently, Detroit is working to test more than 11,000 kits that were transferred to a warehouse by the police and left behind, despite significantly limited resources. But we are not in this alone. After meeting with Vice President Joe Biden and Attorney General Eric Holder in March, we have learned that President Obama has identified $20 million in his budget request to Congress to help the Department of Justice address the backlog. At a time of budget cuts across the federal government, this investment shows the significance of our work in shining a light on this important issue. We will continue to work with members of Congress to make sure this funding stays in the final proposals that become law.

To read yesterday’s op-ed from our Founder & President, Mariska Hargitay, and Wayne County Prosecutor Kym Worthy on this important development, visit The Huffington Post.

To learn more about Joyful Heart’s work to end the rape kit backlog, visit http://www.endthebacklog.org.

What you can do:

Call your represetative and senators and let them know that funding the Department of Justice’s efforts to eliminate the rape kit backlog is critical and must be made a priority in this year’s budget. Click here to find contact information for your representative and here to find your senators.

Thank you for your continued support,

SarahTofte
Sarah Tofte
Director of Policy & Advocacy
Joyful Heart Foundation

Moving Forward · Survivor

NO MORE George R.R. Martin

NO MORE EXCUSES MEANS NO MORE EXCUSES. 

It doesn’t mean Television & Cable Networks get a pass. George R.R. Martin of Game of Thorns doesn’t agree. The cliffhanger last week named Breaker of Chains was an INCESTUOUS RAPE SCENE. One viewer said “it was the most disturbing scene ever”. At first George gave lip service saying it wasn’t RAPE which quickly turned to an apology when the Network was inundated with negative feedback. Every news/magazine outlet hit the story hard. One viewer did a rewrite of how the sence should have played out and printed by a major media outlet. This is an opportunity to educate the media on what we do and don’t want to see. If we believe RAPE and other VIOLENCE is wrong, we have to stand up. Until we make our voices heard the cycle continues.

Warrior

Moving Forward · Survivor

NO MORE EXCUSES

No More Silence. No More Violence.

Tune in for the NO MORE Excuses SVU Marathon This Sunday on USA  The link will take you to information about event and how you can help. There’s an extensive list of resources. Mariska Hargitay who plays a cop on SVU, gives a special address. Mariska started the Joyful Heart Foundation in 2004 with the mission to help heal, educate and empower survivors of sexual assault, domestic violence and child abuse. NO MORE and End the Backlog are featured programs of the Joyful Heart Foundation.

KNOW THE FACTS

The next time you’re in a room with 6 people, think about this:

1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men experience violence from their partners in their lifetimes.
1 in 3 teens experience sexual or physical abuse or threats from a boyfriend or girlfriend in one year.
1 in 5 women are survivors of rape.
1 in 2 women and 1 in 5 men have experienced some form of sexual violence in their lives.
1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men were sexually abused before the age of 18.

Warrior

Survivor

Those are my brain waves? What do they say?

I went to my General doctor for shoulder pain three months ago. He refered me to a Neurologist. After several test, I know both legs have nerve damage, I have abnormal brain waves in two areas with no seizures and I’m falling more.

She did two test to measure my brain waves, one test lasted three days. My follow-up appointment next week. I’m hopeful for an answer. I’ve been told the MRI didn’t have lesions. What does that mean? We can rule out MS? The doctor told me to buy a cane, try walking with a cane and balance issues. I scare myself practicing in the house.

My stress levels are higher than normal because it took two years to diagnosis my heart problems. The wait was frustrating, scary and painful. I fell into the darkest depression, delusional, hallucinating, I wanted to die. I stayed in-house for a week of ECT treatments and three weeks of outpatient treatments. I’ve survived many adversities. My past has made me a survivor. Having an awesome Therapist which makes a huge difference.

The challenge is keeping a check on my mood daily without focusing on my illness. Easy to say right? Long term stress can kick me down a dark well.

I started this blog to learn, share and relieve stress by talking to people who understand. The health issues I’m dealing with have nothing to do with my Mental Illness.

M