Men & Womens Health

Thanks To All Military Members For Your Service and Sacrifice

Photo by Adonyi Gu00e1bor on Pexels.com

Words are never enough to thank you for serving America and the sacrifices you’ve made. I pray for you and your family.

Health and Wellbeing

Easy To Make Peppermint Sugar Scrub-Perfect Holiday Gift

Willow and Sage by Stampington

YOU WILL NEED

Yields 1 cup

1/2 cup coconut oil

Glass bowl

1 cup granulated sugar

12-15 drops peppermint essential oil

Glass jars

Candy cane, finely crushed

TO MAKE

Melt the coconut oil in a glass bowl in the microwave for about 30 seconds, and let cool for five minutes. Stir in the sugar and essential oils until combined. Package the peppermint sugar scrub in airtight glass jars, and sprinkle finely crushed candy cane on top; mix the candy cane into the scrub if desired.

To use, gently massage a small amount into clean, dry skin. Rinse thoroughly with lukewarm water, and pat dry. Store the sugar scrub in a cool dry place for up to six months.

Buy jars with hinged lids for a spa look and attach a ribbon and small spoon. 

Health and Wellbeing

Easy To Make Spiced Citrus Room Spray-Great Holiday Gift

Willow and Sage by Stampington

Spiced Citrus Room Spray

YOU WILL NEED

2 oz. witch hazel

Glass spray bottle: 4 oz

14 drops orange essential oil

6 drops cinnamon essential oil

6 drops clove essential oil

4 drops ginger essential oil

2 oz. filter water

TO MAKE

Add the witch hazel to the spray bottle. Add the essential oils. Top it with the filtered water. Shake before each use.

You can tie a ribbon around, this would make a perfect inexpensive holiday gift.

Men & Womens Health

The End Is Near — Guest Blogger The Alchemist’s Studio

I am excited to share that we have reached 127 percent of our total goal to bring ‘A Potter’s Dream: Myths & Legends’ to print. Which means that in less than a month I will be holding a physical printed copy of my first book ever in my hands!

The End Is Near — The Alchemist’s Studio
Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing

Channeling HYGEE in Wintery Days

Willow and Sage by Stampington

Photo by fotografierende on Pexels.com

The Danish concept of hygee never gets old. It’s all about slowing down and taking your time, creating space for warmth, coziness, and being in the moment. Although it’s not specific to wintertime, hygee lends itself well to the season. Here are a few ideas on how to infuse hygee into your cozy living this winter.

Snuggle up with blankets and pillows

Use soft lighting and candlelight

Decorate with natural items

Wear thick soaks and wooly sweaters

Drink warm apple cider or hot cocoa

Pay attention to textures

Declutter your home

Make soup from scratch

Reread a favorite book

Handwrite letters to friends or family

Eat dinner by candlelight

Practice embroidery

 

Celebrate Life · Survivor

The Beauty Of Being A Misfit

This woman is talking to me, maybe you. She talked about her shame in away I’m unable to articulate, she can see her failures in a light when I’m in the dark. Please watch the video, maybe she will touch your life too. Melinda

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Moving Forward

Why Joker’s depiction of mental illness is dangerously misinformed

Annabel Driscoll and Mina Husain

The Guardian Mon 21 Oct 2019 11.04 EDT

With films playing a key role in shaping attitudes to mental health, two doctors say Joaquin Phoenix’s troubled supervillain perpetuates damaging stereotypes

As junior doctors who work on acute inpatient psychiatric wards, serious mental illness is our daily reality. We have, therefore, watched the controversies around Todd Phillips’s Joker – in which Joaquin Phoenix plays a troubled loner who turns to violence – with professional interest.

The film’s dominance in the debate about portrayals of mental illness in the movies comes at a curious time. Recently, we’ve witnessed great leaps of awareness about relatively common mental-health issues such as depression and anxiety, and with that awareness, increasing dismissal of the sort of unhelpful prejudices that used to surround them. These are now readily discussed without shame and often represented in the media with a well-informed grasp of the facts, thanks to effective information campaigns.

Joker review – the most disappointing film of the year

2 out of 5 stars.     Read more

However, severe mental health conditions, such as psychotic illnesses, remain shrouded in stigma and are consistently misrepresented and misunderstood. Portrayals of mental illness in film can perpetuate unfounded stereotypes and spread misinformation. One of the more toxic ideas that Joker subscribes to is the hackneyed association between serious mental illness and extreme violence. The notion that mental deterioration necessarily leads to violence against others – implied by the juxtaposition of Phoenix’s character Arthur stopping his medication with his increasingly frequent acts of violence – is not only misinformed but further amplifies stigma and fear.

Studies show this association is exaggerated and people with severe mental illness are more vulnerable to violence from others than the general population. Interesting, then, that Joker’s earnest attempt to create an empathetic character with mental illness – who writes: “The worst part of having a mental illness is people expect you to behave as if you don’t” – contributes to the very prejudice that Arthur longs to evade.

Arthur’s supposed loss of grip on reality is suggested by a peppering of nods to psychotic symptoms: delusional ideas of a grandiose nature (“I am an undiscovered comedic genius”) and hallucinations of his neighbour – which are confirmed by his eventual admission to a psychiatric institution. This restoration of order via Arkham Asylum affirms the overarching inference of 

the film: Arthur’s descent into violence and destruction is triggered by his mental deterioration. The result of this is to – disappointingly – remove Arthur’s agency and divert attention from a potentially more stimulating conversation about wealth inequality and its responsibility for societal collapse.

We wouldn’t want to get bogged down in labels, but the psychopathology Arthur inhabits is foggy at best: his apparent lack of disordered thinking means the attempt to illustrate psychosis is half formed. He also displays traits of narcissism and depression. This diagnostic vagueness may create a more relatable character that reflects the pain of any psychiatric illness; but it gives the impression that many disorders have been squashed into a plot device. In the end, it undermines Phoenix’s hypnotic performance and Joker’s sincere attempts to explore the interaction between poverty, inequality and social isolation.

Joker – the incels, the incitement, the ending: discuss with spoilers

 Read more

Arthur’s chilling quirk – his bursts of incongruous and uncontrolled laughter – is no laughing matter either. Presumably, he suffers from the neurological condition pseudobulbar affect – also known as “emotional incontinence” – perhaps caused by his childhood head trauma. Joker may make an attempt to unpick the difference between the psychiatric and the neurological – between a mental illness and a medical disorder – but it runs the risk of conflating the two with a haunting, stigmatising and problematic image. Whether intentionally or not, Arthur comes across as a hysterically laughing supervillain, stereotypically “mad” to the untrained eye; a murderous clown laughing alone on a bus.

Cinematic depictions of mental illness – most infamously, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest – have profound and lasting implications in the real world. It is widely acknowledged within psychiatry that Cuckoo’s Nest led to inappropriate levels of suspicion and misinformation regarding electro-convulsive therapy, and may have meant many people did not receive treatment that is proved and effective. All this due to a single film’s misinformed presentation.

Films have the power to perpetuate stigma and fear, which is why the misrepresentation of severe mental illness in Joker should not be dismissed lightly.

Men & Womens Health

On My Bookshelf: Mayo Clinic Guide to Fibromyalgia — Guest Blogger Reclaiming HOPE

When you first got your diagnosis of fibromyalgia, did you ever wish you had a guidebook to help you find your way through this ‘new

On My Bookshelf: Mayo Clinic Guide to Fibromyalgia — Reclaiming HOPE
Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

U.S. PAIN FOUNDATION SUBMITS COMMENTS TO CMS RFI

October 16, 2019U.S. Pain Foundation0 Comments

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October 11, 2019

Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services (CMS)

Comments on the Request for Information (RFI) on the Development of a CMS Action Plan to Prevent Opioid Addiction and Enhance Access to Medication-Assisted Treatment

The U.S. Pain Foundation is pleased to respond to CMS’s request for information to inform the development of a CMS Action plan to prevent opioid addiction and improve the treatment of acute and chronic pain. The U.S. Pain Foundation is the largest 501 (c) (3) organization for people who live with chronic pain from a myriad of diseases, conditions and serious injuries. Our mission is to connect, support, educate and advocate for those living with chronic pain, as well as their caregivers and healthcare providers.

Chronic pain is an enormous public health problem. The CDC and NIH have reported that 50 million Americans live with chronic pain and 19.6 million live with high-impact chronic pain that interferes with their ability to

1

There are currently very few highly effective treatments for many pain conditions. Managing pain is a matter of finding the right combination of treatments that allows pain sufferers to function and have some quality of life. We believe people with chronic pain should have access to a wide range of therapies and treatments because pain is very individual – what helps one person living with pain will not necessarily help another.
Most people living with chronic pain spend years of trial and error searching for treatments that will help to reduce their pain, while struggling to manage their lives. This is extremely wasteful from a personal standpoint as well as an economic one.

We believe that when it comes to chronic pain, CMS’s goal should be to get beneficiaries effective treatment sooner. Our recommendations for accomplishing this are as follows:

1. Compensate physicians for time spent coordinating complex care

Chronic pain patients require more time from their health care providers, because by its very nature, chronic pain is complex and challenging to treat. Doctors should be able to spend more time conducting a thorough pain assessment and developing a treatment plan at the first visit rather than

1 CDC. Prevalence of Chronic Pain and High Impact Chronic Pain Among Adult – U.S., 2016. MMWR Rep 2018;67:1001-6.

contact@uspainfoundation.org Main: (800) 910.2462 670 Newfield Street, Suite B http://www.uspainfoundation.org Fax: (800) 929 -4062 Middletown, CT 06457

function on a daily basis.
with chronic pain and 5.4 million live with high-impact chronic pain. The Medicare population also includes disabled Americans younger than 65. Since pain is the number one cause of disability in the U.S., we can therefore assume that the number of Medicare beneficiaries living with pain is much higher than those reported numbers. Because many Americans living with high-impact chronic pain are unable to work or can only work part-time, many also depend on Medicaid.

That same study reported that of Americans over the age of 65, 13.5 million live

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the fifth visit to the fifth doctor which is the current norm. Furthermore, because the cause, manifestations, and severity of chronic pain can vary so widely from person to person, there is no simple or uniform solution to managing it. Each patient is entirely unique and requires a unique treatment plan.

Individualized, multimodal, integrative care is widely understood to be the best and most effective approach to managing pain. But it requires time and resources to identify and try various modalities and coordinate this care. A traditional 10-minute appointment does not provide sufficient time for a provider to create and implement a multimodal treatment plan, and to continually reassess that plan as the individual’s health and pain change over time.

The lack of reimbursement for coordinating care and managing complex care is perhaps one of the most significant impediments to proper pain care. It has resulted in an overuse of quick fixes—like a reliance on medication alone.

  1. Reimburse for multimodal, multidisciplinary treatmentRehabilitation models of care, which emphasize integrated, multi-modal treatment, have been proven to be the most effective in reducing pain and improving function. Too often, pain management attempts to put a mere band-aid on pain levels, rather than address pain’s effects on function and quality of life. Chronic pain is a biopsychosocial disease, meaning it affects every aspect of an individual’s life, even more so when the individual lives with high-impact chronic pain. Thus, patients need and deserve care that addresses pain at multiple levels. For example, while medication and injections may help control pain, they do not give individuals tools for learning to live within their limitations. Restorative and complementary therapies, like physical therapy, occupational therapy, massage, yoga, and so on, are more suited to improving function and productivity and learning to live day-to-day with painful symptoms. Meanwhile, it is well-known that anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions are common comorbidities of long-term pain. In fact, recent numbers from the CDC demonstrated that at least 10 percent of suicides in America involve someone living with pain. This vulnerable population needs earlier multimodal intervention that recognizes the full impact of pain on a person’s life. Patients with pain—especially those with high-impact pain—should have access to psychosocial care, including psychological counseling and peer support groups that is tailored to their unique challenges.Unfortunately, we have moved away from a bundled payment approach to this type of care, to the detriment of people with pain. It’s vital we return to reimbursing for multimodal, multidisciplinary treatment..
  2. Incentivize innovative value-based models of care that integrate multimodal treatmentThe cardiac care model, which incorporates exercise, nutrition and other modalities, is one innovative

contact@uspainfoundation.org Main: (800) 910.2462 670 Newfield Street, Suite B http://www.uspainfoundation.org Fax: (800) 929 -4062 Middletown, CT 06457

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approach that has been very successful and cost-effective at reducing the burden of heart disease. This is a model that takes into account that heart disease must be attacked from multiple angles, and that treatments and therapies work best in combination with one another.

This model also has proven that multidisciplinary, multimodal care can be cost-effective care. By investing health care dollars up front in managing heart disease and preventing cardiac events, we have saved millions of dollars in terms of reducing hospitalizations and emergency room visits. Beyond saving on direct healthcare costs, no price tag can account for the enormous reduction in suffering and lives lost.

Chronic pain is just as complex as heart disease. It similarly gets worse—and more expensive to treat– without comprehensive, multimodal early intervention. CMS should encourage and reimburse innovative integrated models of care for chronic pain.

  1. Remove access barriers to evidence-based non-opioid drugs and medical devicesCMS should require that at least two medications in each class of non-opioid medications commonly used for pain—such as antidepressants (SSRIs, SNRIs, or tricyclics), anticonvulsants, corticosteroids, NSAIDs, muscle relaxers, triptans, calcium channel blockers, topicals and so on)—are in the lowest-cost tier in every Part D plan formulary.It is vital to recognize that, again, each individual is unique, and what works for one person may not work for another. Patients must have access to various options to determine what reduces their pain levels. Unfortunately, many patients cannot afford the high copays on these medications, creating enormous and unnecessary barriers to safer, non-opioid medications. If CMS is committed to reducing opioid use, it must make alternative medications more affordable.In addition, an increasing number of evidence-based medical devices for pain management are available, with more coming to market each year. These devices represent an important category of treatment, especially in that they often provide sustained relief and generally come with less side effects than many other interventions. CMS must work to improve access to these types of devices by reducing out-of-pocket costs and removing overburdensome prior authorization requirements. In particular, CMS should remove the requirement for a psychological evaluation prior to obtaining spinal cord stimulation devices. There is no such requirement for surgery, which is much riskier, or for other treatments for pain.
  2. Partner with NIH/NCCIH to continue to build the evidence base for complimentary treatments like acupuncture for chronic low back pain (ie. therapeutic massage, yoga, tai chi, aquatherapy)
    This is an area where data collection is essential to determining the value of these modalities for pain control. There is much anecdotal evidence that many complimentary techniques, especially gentle

contact@uspainfoundation.org Main: (800) 910.2462 670 Newfield Street, Suite B http://www.uspainfoundation.org Fax: (800) 929 -4062 Middletown, CT 06457

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exercise and mobility programs, are helpful in the ongoing management of chronic pain. These interventions can also be cost-effective, especially those that train patients on a program they can then practice at home. Exercise and mobility programs also do a lot to restore function, in addition to general pain reduction. But there is a lack of funding to do the randomized control trials that are necessary to prove their value. If we are truly committed to reducing opioid use, we must investigate and make available evidence-based alternatives for pain relief.

  1. Reimburse for promising treatments in specific conditions as evidence becomes available.The approach that CMS is using for chronic low back pain and acupuncture is an excellent model. In this instance, CMS is focusing on a narrow pain condition with one modality and a large subject population. This approach correctly recognizes that different modalities work differently for different types of pain—and must be studied accordingly. In particular, we commend CMS for covering treatment costs as part of this study. This reflects an understanding that cost is an enormous barrier to care, especially for the Medicare and Medicaid populations, who typically have limited ability to work. We would recommend using this approach simultaneously for other specific conditions.
  2. Encourage states to make more complementary and integrative care available through MedicaidA number of states have granted Medicaid waivers to cover complementary treatment for specific pain conditions and then studied the effect of these modalities on patients’ pain levels and function. One such example we are aware of is a waiver in Colorado to cover complementary treatments for spinal cord injury. We urge CMS to support more states in offering this type of Medicaid coverage.
  3. Incentivize participation in pain management group programs, similar to Medicare Silver Sneaker Program for fitness club membership & Medicare’s Diabetes Prevention Program
    These programs have proven track records of helping patients more effectively cope with and manage chronic illness. Educating patients about ways to engage in self-management of their condition, and then incentivizing such self-care, could have a similarly positive impact on the pain population. If patients were reimbursed for the cost of membership in these programs, it would help them maintain wellness and function.
  4. Reimburse for participation in chronic pain-specific patient education self-management and support group programs
    Similar to above, patient education on self-management and coping skills are key to living successfully with a chronic condition. These programs can be taught via support group models and provide essential information on topics such as: cognitive behavioral therapy; stress reduction techniques, like meditation; strategies for activity restriction and modification; and much more.Isolation, stigma, and a sense of helplessness are enormous problems faced by the pain population,and create significant barriers to care. As mentioned before, people with chronic pain have

contact@uspainfoundation.org Main: (800) 910.2462 670 Newfield Street, Suite B http://www.uspainfoundation.org Fax: (800) 929 -4062 Middletown, CT 06457

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significantly higher incidences of mental health comorbidities, and are at greater risk of suicide.
It is well-known that mood disorders and stress can increase pain levels, and vice versa, creating a vicious cycle. CMS has a vested interest in providing more comprehensive care, that treats the whole patient—mind and body. Creating opportunities for connection, community, and education is vitally important.

10. Begin a serious effort to code for, collect, and analyze data on chronic pain in the Medicare and Medicaid population

CMS does not collect nor analyze epidemiologic data on chronic pain in its beneficiaries. We do not know the incidence of chronic pain in general, the prevalence of various pain conditions, trends over time, subpopulations at risk, nor the health consequences of pain in terms of morbidity, mortality and disability. It is critical to have this data to understand the scope of the problem. It is also vital in order to assess whether the improvements in care and interventions CMS undertakes in the Action Plan are effective in reducing the enormous burden of chronic pain.

In Section 6032 of the SUPPORT Act, Congress has called on CMS to use its authority to improve access to care for the millions of Americans whose lives have been devastated by the dual public health crises of opioid use disorder and pain. We are hopeful that CMS will give serious consideration to the recommendations we and others, such as the HHS Pain Management Best Practices Task Force have proposed. Now is the time for CMS to take bold and innovative action to ameliorate the enormous burden of chronic pain in America.

Sincerely,

Cindy Steinberg
National Director of Policy & Advocacy U.S. Pain Foundation
781-652-0146 cindy@uspainfoundation.org

contact@uspainfoundation.org Main: (800) 910.2462 http://www.uspainfoundation.org Fax: (800) 929 -4062

670 Newfield Street, Suite B Middletown, CT 06457

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Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

INTERIM CEO A KEYNOTE SPEAKER AT AMERICAN MASSAGE THERAPY ASSOCIATION CONVENTION

October 31, 2019U.S. Pain Foundation0 Comments

Interim CEO Nicole Hemmenway was one of three keynote speakers at the closing session of the American Massage Therapy Association (AMTA) national convention last weekend in Indianapolis, IN.

In her talk, “Massage for Chronic Pain: What our community wants you to know,” Hemmenway shared her personal journey with complex regional pain syndrome and why she’s dedicated herself to helping others with pain through the U.S. Pain Foundation. She gave attendees a glimpse into the programs and services U.S. Pain offers, and provided insight into the scope of the chronic pain health crisis in America.

The emphasis of Hemmenway’s remarks was on the barriers to multidisciplinary care, particularly massage, and how massage therapists can best help people with pain.

“It truly was a privilege to be invited by the AMTA to speak at their annual convention,” Hemmenway says. “There is a greater need, maybe now more than ever, for affordable access to multidisciplinary care, such as massage therapy. I was so impressed with the therapists I spoke to who are genuinely invested in patient’s overall wellness. But like the pain community, they also feel discouraged by the lack of access. That is why it is so important for us to use our voices to fight for better coverage of options like massage.”

Hemmenway shared feedback from the pain community about what they wanted massage therapists to know, including:

  • People with pain have bodies that are very sensitive and complex. Pain continually evolves and changes, which means communication is vital to ensure that the massage is beneficial and to avoid making the pain worse.
  • Maintaining a baseline can be just as important as achieving improvement (sometimes improvement isn’t possible); setting realistic goals is necessary.
  • Massage therapy can be an important treatment option, but barriers exist, namely cost and transportation. Massage therapists should take into consideration things like providing more flexible pricing packages, offering in-home massages for those who are homebound, etc.

To learn more about U.S. Pain’s recent efforts related to complementary therapies, click here.

Fun

Women: 90% More Right Than Men — Guest Blogger The Alchemist’s Studio

Our raku pottery vase today, ‘Tiresias’ Prophecy’ tells the tale of blind creation, an ancient oracle, an instant gender reassignment, a spat between gods, and a lesson all men should be sure to take heed of – the woman is always right. 557 more words

Women: 90% More Right Than Men — The Alchemist’s Studio
Fun

#SoCS Prompt “nuts”

StreamOfConsciousnessQuaintRevival2019

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “nuts.” Use it any way you’d like. Have fun!

This is an easy prompt because I’ve been called nuts many times in my life and I love nuts. Let’s start with why someone would call me nuts. I was and still am a tomboy and would do any dare or anything to keep up with the boys when I was younger. We played football, had a bike ramp, used the city culverts as bike ramps and I can’t forget the nutty games we played in the pool. I don’t feel the need to compete with boys/men today but still am a tomboy. Noone is going to limit what I can do or learn.

Growing up my grandparents had these 100 year old pecan trees and finding plenty of nuts was never a problem. When I was little gramps and I would collect off the nuts off the ground and sit in lawn chairs cracking, eating and feeding some to the squirells. Gramps reached a point where the squirells would come right up and take a nut out of his hand. I was able to do it one time but as cute as squirells are they carry rabies and I don’t want to find out. I could talk about nuts all day because of gramps, he never went a day without eating pecans, usually grow in the back yard.

Have a great weekend. Thanks for reading, I appreciate you and your awesome comments.

Melinda

Here are the rules:

  1. Your post must be Stream of Consciousness writing, meaning no editing (typos can be fixed), and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.
  2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.
  3. I will post the prompt here on my blog every Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The,’” or will simply be a single word to get you started.
  4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours.  Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below. https://lindaghill.com
  5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read all of them! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later or go to the previous week by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find below the “Like” button on my post.
  6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!
  7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.
  8. Have fun!
Men & Womens Health

Sadfishing: Social media trend threatens teenagers’ mental health, report warns

Pupils seeking support online are being affected by latest trend

Eleanor Busby

Education Correspondent

Tuesday 1 October 2019 07:38 

A new social media trend called “sadfishing” is threatening teenagers’ mental health, report finds.

Youngsters facing genuine distress who seek support online are being accused of jumping onto the same publicity bandwagon as celebrities, according to research commissioned by headteachers.

“Sadfishing” has been used to describe when someone posts about an emotional problem in an attempt to attract attention, sympathy or hook an audience.

The term was coined after a number of celebrities, such as Kendall Jenner, were accused of teasing details about personal issues on their social media sites to drum up publicity and attract more likes.

A new study, by Digital Awareness UK (DAUK), says sadfishing is among the new trends that damage teenagers’ self-esteem, with teenagers reporting that they have been bullied as a result.

The report, which is based on face-to-face sessions with more than 50,000 pupils aged 11 to 16, argues that students can be left feeling disappointed at not getting the support they desire and it can subsequently make their emotional or mental health problems worse.

One Year 7 student told researchers that he used Instagram to share his feelings when he was feeling down due to problems at home.

“I got a lot of people commenting on and ‘liking’ my post but then some people said I was sadfishing the next day at school for attention,” the student said.

“Sharing my feelings online has made me feel worse in some ways but supported in others.”

There are also concerns that youngsters could be left vulnerable to online groomers, who prey on them by providing sympathy in order to gain their trust.

The report says: “DAUK is concerned about the number of students who are bullied for sadfishing (through comments on social media, on messaging apps or face-to-face), thus exacerbating what could be a serious mental health problem,”.

“We have noticed that students are often left feeling disappointed by not getting the support they need online.

“Groomers can also use comments that express a need for emotional support as a platform to connect with young people and gain their trust, only to try and exploit it at a later point.”

It goes on to give a case study of a teenage girl who had started a relationship with someone she met on social media through a mutual friend, after sharing her experiences of depression online.

He had responded to her post and shared his own experiences.

The young girl ended the relationship when she discovered he was much older than he claimed and he was pressurising her into sharing explicit images of herself.

Despite these negative findings, the report does also note that youngsters are becoming more tech-savvy and are more likely to manage their own use of technology responsibly.

The study was commissioned by the Headmasters’ and Headmistresses’ Conference (HMC) – a group of headteachers from some of the most prestigious private schools in the UK.

Chris Jeffery, chairman of the HMC wellbeing working group and headmaster of Bootham School in North Yorkshire, said: “It is encouraging to read of the growing signs of increased control that many young people are taking over their use of technology, but it is also helpful to know new ways in which it is proving to be a burden for them as .”

Charlotte Robertson, co-founder of DAUK, said: “Over the last year we’ve seen the digital landscape evolve at such rapid pace – particularly when it comes to the prevalence of data misuse, access to anonymous platforms and increased sharing of upsetting content.

“This has left many parents feeling overwhelmed by how best to empower their children to navigate the online world safely.”

Men & Womens Health · Moving Forward · Survivor

The hidden abuse that can hurt your mental health: Gaslighting

Nearly half the women and men in the U.S. say they’ve endured psychological aggression from intimate partners.

OCT. 4, 201903:45Oct. 4, 2019, 6:22 AM CDTBy Bianca Seidman

Domestic abuse is a leading problem in American homes and it can take many different forms. When the abuse leaves no physical marks, outsiders may not recognize when all is not well and the abused person can find it challenging to translate what’s happening.

“Gaslighting” — a term that became popular after the 1944 movie “Gaslight,” in which a husband slowly makes his wife think she’s going crazy through a long game of deceptions — is an insidious form of psychological abuse. It’s an intricate web of lies woven to break down one partner’s sense of self-worth and perception of what is real.

“When you’re black and blue, you can point to the bruises and you can say ‘This happened to me,’” Dr. Robin Stern, associate director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, told TODAY. “But when somebody is undermining your reality and you simply have this feeling that there’s something wrong … women moreso than men, but men too, tend to point their fingers at themselves and say, ‘I did something wrong.’”

Nearly half of all women and men in the U.S. said they’ve been subjected to psychological aggression by an intimate partner, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

How couples can spot warning signs of domestic abuse

OCT. 3, 201906:42

For the person trying to control the partner through psychological tricks, the goal is often to make that partner feel completely dependent. By instigating this deep self-doubt and playing the role of the only one who knows what’s right, abusers can wear down their partners and gain control.

“People become hopeless, they give up on themselves,” said Stern, who wrote the book “The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life.”

“They’re so busy defending themselves over time, and then they’re so busy agreeing with the gaslighter, that they begin to think, ‘He’s right.’”

At its more extreme, gaslighting can be a carefully calculated plan to slowly isolate the person and erode trust in anyone else. The perpetrator may sow seeds of suspicion about close friends and family and plant the idea that the partner doesn’t know how to do anything right.

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Stern believes women are more often the victims of gaslighting because they learn to focus on others and see things from their points of view, as well as prioritize other people’s feelings over their own.

Not all gaslighting is intentional abuse, however; sometimes it’s learned behavior. But it is always manipulative. More subtle forms or isolated incidents can happen when people want to sway situations in their favor. When one person expresses concern over an issue or a desire to change something, the partner who wants to control that moment might brush it off and respond with something like, “You don’t really mean what you’re saying.”

“People are not born gaslighters … it’s social learning,” Stern said. “[Maybe] you grew up in an environment where the people around you used gaslighting or psychological manipulation to control the moment … or somebody treated you like that or you somehow stumbled on it and it worked.”

The National Domestic Violence Hotline describes gaslighting as a form of domestic abuse that can build up over time.

“The abusive partner’s actions may seem like just a harmless misunderstanding at first,” the organization said on their site. “Over time, however, these abusive behaviors continue, and a victim can become confused, anxious, isolated and depressed.”

The typical signs of gaslighting, according to the hotline, are when the abusive partner:

  • Refuses to listen or pretends not to understand
  • Challenges the partner’s memory or accuses them of being wrong
  • Changes the subject or suggests the partner is imagining things
  • Trivializes the feelings of the partner
  • Pretends to forget what happened or denies that anything happened at all

Related

ALLDAY

Ways to support victims of domestic violence

Victims of gaslighting should remember there are ways out of these situations and, when it’s not long-term abuse, options to improve the relationship, Stern said. Try these steps to start turning things around:

  • Write down incidents that felt manipulative
  • Talk to the person doing the gaslighting, staying aware of the tactics
  • Know the emotional triggers the partner uses
  • Assess whether the relationship can be saved, if the person stops gaslighting

“Another way to free yourself of gaslighting is to begin to move from negative self-talk to positive self-talk,” Stern added, “and make yourself do it, because it won’t come naturally.”

Bianca Seidman

Bianca Seidman is Senior Editor with TODAY.com.  She is a multimedia journalist, writer and video producer with specialties in health, science and culture.by TaboolaSponsored StoriesESQUIREThe 50 Best Crowd Photos of Woodstock 1969GOOD HOUSEKEEPING50 of the Best Celebrity Halloween Costumes

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

How To Care For Yourself When Dealing With Difficult People

By Dana Belletiere
Last updated: 3 Oct 2019~

One of my friends tells her story of growing up with a mother with “issues” rather matter-of-factly, but the details are pretty grim to listen to. “She would stop talking to me for no reason, for days at a time, and put a gift on my bed when she decided she was done being mad at me. We never talked about why she was angry, and most of the time I didn’t know. I just knew not to talk to her until she left something on my bed, and then I’d hold my breath until the next time she got upset about something.” 

My friend’s mother sometimes disappeared for lengths of time without anyone knowing where she went or when (or if) she would return. When she fought with my friend’s father, she frequently brought my friend into the arguments as a mediator, despite her being a child. “Everything was about her,” my friend says. “Even as an adult, forty years later, everything is still about her.”

Whether we are born into families with difficult people, or enter into relationships with them as friends, coworkers, partners, etcetera, it can be challenge to know how to best respond to someone who is emotionally unwell. In order to do so effectively, it is paramount that we understand that the behaviors that are being presented are not our fault, develop firm and clear boundaries about what we will and will not tolerate, and practice asserting ourselves confidently and consistently. 

IT’S NOT YOU, IT’S THEM. NO, REALLY.

More times than I can count, I’ve had clients sitting across from me in the therapy room, blaming themselves for the erratic and unacceptable behavior of someone else, and puzzling over what they might have done differently. It sometimes seems as though difficult people have special powers that enable them to sniff out the highly sensitive and empathic among us, and attach themselves to them. Inevitably, those sensitive individuals become sponges for all the negative emotions of their difficult friend, and seek support from a clinician like me, wondering why they just can’t do better. 

The answer is (and trust me, this took ages for me to learn personally, too): You cannot fix a problem that does not belong to you. It’s just not possible. As much as you would like to, as much as you might be a stronger person, or better emotionally equipped, or have supernatural empathic healing powers – if someone does not want to do the work on themselves, then the work simply cannot be done. We cannot work on anybody but ourselves. When we start with the assumption that we are unable to do anything to change the behaviors of those around us, then we create space to make plans to care for ourselves. These plans often begin with identifying our boundaries. 

BOUNDARIES, BOUNDARIES, BOUNDARIES.

Once we’ve let go of the notion that we can change or fix the person in question, we can go ahead and set some boundaries. The beauty of this is that there is no right or wrong to setting boundaries – they are truly based on whatever we individually want and need. Do you need to set limits about the frequency and length of visits to a relative? Perfect. Do you need to allow yourself to walk away from conversations that become shaming and/or emotionally abusive? Awesome. Do you need to only see a certain person if you have a support person with you? Go for it. There are a billion ways to design your boundaries, and you can create them based on what your insides are telling you feels safe and right. 

Remember to watch out for “shoulds” here. The “shoulds” get in the way by dictating to us what we “should” be able to do in any given situation, and making us feel bad about it. Some classic “shoulds” include: “You really should be able to deal with this behavior for a few days over the holidays;” “You shouldn’t be so sensitive to that language – they were only joking;” “You should spend time with this person because they are older/related to you/a person in authority.” The problem with the “shoulds” is that they are typically culturally dictated and have little to do with what might be right or wrong for us as individuals. By ignoring our gut instincts and doing what the “shoulds” tell us to, we betray ourselves, and sometimes cause ourselves unnecessary suffering and harm. 

Be kind and stay true to yourself. Don’t let anyone but you dictate your boundaries. 

CONSISTENT AND CONFIDENT SELF-ASSERTION.

For many of us, self-assertion is difficult to put into practice. Once we’ve identified our personal boundaries, we have to go about implementing them by saying them to a difficult person, out loud. This can be incredibly challenging. We might be much more comfortable avoiding the subject (forever),  or allowing our feelings to build up until we explode. Truly, self-assertion is a hero’s mission, and we must be gentle with ourselves as we attempt to master this very difficult and hard-won skill. 

I’ve found that seeking support from a good therapist (or a very unbiased friend) can be helpful when beginning to practice self-assertion. It is useful to have an objective party translate one’s boundaries into language that is level, direct, and un-muddied by emotion. Another reasonable option is to begin setting small boundaries, which help us gain traction and build trust and confidence in ourselves. Not ready to call off a visit on Thanksgiving? Set a smaller boundary to stay home for a lower-stakes holiday, and assess how it feels. Baby steps lead to big steps. 

Conclusion 

To wrap it all up, let’s acknowledge again that this is hard work, and requires patience, practice and time. Many of us have spent a lifetime walking on eggshells around difficult folks, and the idea of suddenly unleashing a confident boundary seems as likely as running a marathon with no training – anxiety is to be expected. Be patient and compassionate with yourself, and implement your new skills at a pace that feels comfortable to you. As you do, you may notice a greater sense of peace and self-empowerment when dealing with the challenging people in your life. 11022

Dana Belletiere

I am a licensed therapist serving clients in New Hampshire, Pennsylvania, and Massachusetts. In my practice, I focus on helping clients to shape their own narratives, accept and value all parts of themselves, and empower themselves to cultivate an authentic and meaningful life. Learn more about me and my practice on my website: http://www.danalicsw.com.

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

Gluten-Free Salmon with Lime and Sesame Seeds Great for Holidays

Gluten-Freedom by Alessio Fasano, MD with Susie Flaherty

 

Ingredients:

1 1/2 to 2 pounds salmon (wild-caught preferred with skin on)

Juice from 2-3 limes

Olive Oil

Sesame Seeds

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line baking sheet with parchment paper and coat very lightly with olive oil. Place salmon, skin side down, on parchment paper in the pan.

Squees the juice of 2-3 limes into a bowl. Use a pastry brush to coat salmon with lime juice. Coat the top of the salmon with sesame seeds. Bake for 15-20 minutes. Fish is done when it flakes easily with a fork. Be careful to not overcook.

 

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

#Art Through Pain #KNOWvember

Dear pain warriors,
Each November, U.S. Pain Foundation organizes a month-long educational campaign for the pain community. Recognizing that art and writing can help kids and adults cope with and/or express chronic pain and its effects on their lives, this year’s KNOWvember campaign will focus on creativity.
During the month, titled “Art through Pain: How Creativity Helps Us Cope,” U.S. Pain will be:hosting three virtual events, soliciting visual art submissions to showcase at a later date,and highlighting information about art and pain on social media (#ArtThroughPain).If you’d like to submit your artwork, you have the option of sharing it with us privately or allowing us to use it in a future project (such as in a blog post on Remedy or an INvisible Project magazine) through the link below.
Submit your artwork >>
Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

Why Patient Advocacy is Important — Guest Blogger The Disabled Diva’s Blog

For healthcare to work, we the patient, need to be heard. Find out what I am doing to give the medical community a better understanding of what is important to us.

Why Patient Advocacy is Important — The Disabled Diva’s Blog
Men & Womens Health

Interview with Jay Jasper from The Alchemist — The Alchemist’s Studio

Originally posted on For the Love of Art: Please welcome Jay Jasper from The Alchemist at https://rakupottery.ca, He is a self-taught Raku pottery artist. He’s on the eve of publishing his first book, A Potter’s Dream: Myth and Legends. Jay takes an interesting approach to each piece of pottery by associating it with myths and legends…

Interview with Jay Jasper from The Alchemist — The Alchemist’s Studio
Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health

Gluten-Free Spicy Italian Sausages-One Fork Easy

Gluten Freedom by Alessio Fasano, MD with Susie Flaherty

Photo by PhotoMIX Ltd. on Pexels.com

Ingredients:

Spicy Italian sausage (one per person)

One 7 oz. jar sliced, sweet red pepper hulls

One 8 oz. can tomato paste

Heat a large skillet or frying pan. Add sausages and cover halfway with water. Cook over medium heat until sausages are halfway cooked (15-20 minutes). During the process, prick the sausage with a fork to release the juices from the sausage.

While sausages are cooking, place sweet peppers in a colander and rinse off the water. Add the peppers and tomato paste to the sausages. Cook for another 10-15 minutes, stirring occasionally until the sauce thickens.

Cut sausages in 2-inch pieces, making sure that they are cooked all the way through.

Men & Womens Health

#WATWB Home Depot Workers Help Neighborhood With Clean Up After Tornados

We Are The World Blogfest in white

This week the DFW area was hit with 10 tornadoes, several in densely populated areas, most neighborhoods. Thankfully no one was killed and only a few injured.

Several of the neighborhoods had 100-year-old trees that were torn out by the roots, it was heartbreaking. More heartbreaking was to see the number of homes with roofs were torn off, some mostly destroyed and so many displaced until repairs and clean up could take place.

A nearby Home Depot was severely damaged and workers were unable to go to work so they went to the hardest-hit neighborhoods and help with clean up. HEB the grocery store chain brought out a semi-truck that served as a restaurant serving meals to those impacted. Several churches in the area were damaged, a couple beyond repair, the members of the church set up food lines in the parking lot for the neighbors who needed a hot meal.

Many big cities have their problems and I can complain all day about our own but when the chips are down, we somehow put everything aside and come together to serve.

Here is the link to read more.

https://krld.radio.com/media/audio-channel/home-depot-workers-helping-tornado-victims-dallas-area

Melinda

 

 “We are the World” Blogfest” aims to spread the message of light, hope and love in today’s world. We are challenging all participants to share the positive side of humanity. This month’s co-hosts, Sylvia McGrathLizbeth HartzShilpa GargMary Giese, and Belinda Witzenhausen welcome participants and encourage all to join in during future months. #WATWB comes on the last Friday of every month. Click HERE for more information. You are always welcome to join in!You can find more stories of hope, light, and love on the WATWB Facebook Page. Click HERE to be part of the Light.

Fun

#SoCS Prompt “dress”

StreamOfConsciousnessQuaintRevival2019

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “dress.” Use it any way you’d like. Have fun!

I’ve read several posts this morning talking about a favorite dress, I have one too. My granny made this black velvet dress with red lace trim for me when I was around 7-8 years old. Oddly enough, I still have the dress, it’s in perfect condition which hard to believe since I was such a tomboy. I also have a purple dress that was my granny’s that I played dress up with as a little girl. I’m not a hoarder by any means……but it’s hard to part with items attached with memories from my grandparents. I have her thimbles, pin cushion, even some sewing needles. I cherish their wedding rings, my gramps wore his on the key ring because he was a mechanic and couldn’t wear jewelry.

Maybe I need to address where my head is at this morning since I’m rambling on. Thinking about a dress brought so many memories flooding in, I could write all day about them, but I won’t.

Have a great weekend. Thanks for reading, I appreciate you and your awesome comments.

Melinda

Here are the rules:

  1. Your post must be Stream of Consciousness writing, meaning no editing (typos can be fixed), and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.
  2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.
  3. I will post the prompt here on my blog every Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The,’” or will simply be a single word to get you started.
  4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours.  Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.
  5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read all of them! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later or go to the previous week by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find below the “Like” button on my post.
  6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!
  7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.
  8. Have fun!