Why You Should Define Your Fears Instead Of Your Goals
Guilt is the Shadow in the Mirror
May is Mental Health Awareness month and I wanted to share a post written in 2015. Suicide is one of the reasons we need awareness, it can happen to anyone, with or without notice.

All he said is your daddy has done away with himself. I screamed then said I’m on the way. Calling right back to ask were they sure he was dead? Yes. I think years of abuse left a permanent hole in my heart. I go there to do actions requiring no emotions. It’s like autopilot, it has served me well. I started to think about work, and who I needed to call. I’m driving with emergency lights on going 100 mph calling my work team. I stayed on autopilot until I pulled up to my grandparents.
Estranged since a teen, I thought it odd when he started calling. He sounded delusional and extremely paranoid. Nothing made sense, he was not talking in sentences. I pieced together he didn’t have any money and couldn’t work. Why he could not work must have come from the madness.
I would do anything to avoid my granny being hurt. I paid his bills. Over the next several months the phone calls were my hell on earth. He would threaten to kill himself and then go off on what didn’t sound like words. I couldn’t make out anything he was saying as he yelled on the phone. I would keep trying to redirect him back to our conversation. I did not tell anyone what daddy said. He was mentally ill. It had been years since we talked, maybe this was his norm. I didn’t know.
Everyone sitting on the floor when I entered the door. The first words out of my mouth were what he told me. I felt overwhelming guilt, I let my family down. I knew it wasn’t logical but emotions rarely are. My mind scrambled, my father sexually abused me and I’m feeling guilty. I forgave my father, cut him out of my life, paid bills, and feel guilty.
My grandparents and I went to daddy’s the next morning. The disarray would alert anyone that something was wrong. On his coffee table, his lockbox opened with every card I had ever given him, every school photo. The divorce paperwork to my mother laid on the table, his bible open to Job. You could see tear stains on the pages. The house had papers scattered everywhere, dishes piled up, and everything was thrown around. My father had reached the bottom long ago and no one knew.
I found a shoebox full of cassette tapes from recorded phone conversations. It took seven months to listen to every tape. I would have a couple of drinks, listen and cry. Like a tornado in my head, being in the house my sexual abuse took place, daddy putting 357 mag to my head, being a drug addict, and my boyfriend and I planning how to kill my father. These are the times the hole in my heart is useful. Granny didn’t know about the abuse and went to her grave not knowing. To help my granny cope, I would not cry or show emotion around her. I wanted to piece her heart back together. Holding emotions inside extended my grieving process for a long seven years.
A couple of weeks later the morgue called asking me to pick up the gun. Ring the side doorbell, someone brought the original suicide note, autopsy report, and gun with dried blood. My mind could not prepare for reading the autopsy report. Every detail of how he shot himself. The trajectory of bullets, lobes damaged, bones crushed, and exit wounds.
I believe my father died so I could live. Learning about his mental illness pointed me to my own. Thru ancestry, I connected with daddy’s half-brother and several family members. There were over ten suicides in only three generations and many are now with severe mental illness.
Daddy
1940-1992
Melinda
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH-Change Gun Laws
In less than two weeks over 30 families have been torn apart by gun violence. Two weeks! What the FUCK is going on in our country. You’ve heard by now of the senseless shooting in Uvalde, Texas yesterday. An 18-year-old purchased a semi-automatic rifle, killed his grandmother went to the elementary school, and left behind 19 students and two teachers dead. With several more students in critical condition in the hospital. We may be adding to that number.
How can we find this acceptable? What is it going to take to get to the root of the problem? I’m tired of throwing bandaids on the real issues. GUN LAWS!
I’m embarrassed that one of the Texas lawmakers suggested that more police was the answer. REALLY? More police in schools are the answer? How many shootings have occurred when an officer was on campus?
I’m a gun owner, and I believe that people have the right to carry a gun. People who are responsible to carry a gun, not just anyone. This 18-year-old shooter went to the store and bought a semi-automatic rifle. Why in the hell was this allowed? The person that sold him the gun should go to jail!
I don’t have all the answers but I know that we have to get our lawmakers off their asses and make changes to the law. No one needs a semi-automatic rifle, they are for mass shootings. We have to make guns much harder to get, much more extensive, and longer time periods before buying a gun.
I know there are those who say I want to stomp on their 2nd amendment rights but that is not the case. Taking all guns away is taking those rights away. I want anyone who has a problem with what I have to say, to go to Uvalde and see the carnage left behind. The families are torn apart by what could have easily been prevented. Look them in the eye and make your case. Attend all the funerals and tell me we don’t need gun reform.

Matthew McConaughey is from Uvalde and here’s a snippet of what he had to say.
Matthew McConaughey is from Uvalde
“Once again, we have tragically proven that we are failing to be responsible for the rights our freedoms grant us,” he wrote, in part. “The true call to action now is for every American to take a longer and deeper look in the mirror and ask ourselves, ‘What is it that we truly value? How do we repair the problem?’
“We cannot exhale once again, make excuses, and accept these tragic realities as the status quo.”
He went on to ask Americans to find “common ground” so that they can put an end to mass shootings.
–
How many more lives have to be lost before we force change? What if it’s your child next, your neighbor’s child, your mother, or your husband?
We all have to send a message to lawmakers, LAWMAKERS are the people who get it done. This is not on the President, he doesn’t make the laws. We each have elected officials that are supposed to listen to what we want, and what we need. It’s these state lawmakers that we elect who have to stop playing politics in the aisle and make real change. We have to hold them accountable.
We have to send a message by how we vote.
I’m seething and know when I turn on the news in the next couple of days there will be another mass shooting and another.
The time is now!
Melinda
Wordless Wednesday*Pink Lillys
How Keeping a Mood Chart Changed My Life
May is Mental Health Awareness Month and I wanted to share a tool that helped me better communicate with my doctor about my mood swings and how I was doing in between appointments.
Cleaned up repost from 2014
When I started seeing my Psychopharmacologist almost 16 years ago he intimidated me. He’s not a chipper guy and it took years to see through his shell. I was in a very dark place and spiraling down. I didn’t think he understood how depressed I was.
Psychiatrists are different from therapists in that, they only provide medication management, and appointments are 20 minutes at most. So we had a couple of frustrating meetings. I didn’t know how to reach him, I didn’t know doctor talk. He is one of the best in Texas and finding a Psychopharmacologist is difficult, I wasn’t walking away.
During another frustrating meeting, he left the room to talk to a therapist he worked with. He did me the biggest favor and no doubt saved my life. He suggested I sit down with a therapist to see if she could help me better communicate what was going on. They had worked together for 13 years, and she provided some insight into his personality and how best to communicate with him.
She drew a chart and we talked about how depressed I was. She repeated back to make sure she was on track and then gave me the chart. At that time I was rapid cycling, and adjusting to meds, and didn’t think I was improving. The Mood Chart brought our communication on the same page. I liked the log because it gave me an opportunity to show how I was cycling or any other significant change. I took out a journal and started keeping a daily log of the chart and any info about my state of mind. It gave me an opportunity to see exactly what was happening at any given time or day and look for trends, triggers, and side effect notes.
I want to share the chart for those struggling with their mental illness or who have trouble communicating with their doctor.
Once we were on the same page, he was able to give me the help I needed. I would suggest a larger sheet of paper to give room for notes.
My chart may look different than yours since I discovered my normal was actually below the normal line. You basically draw a line down the middle of a piece of paper. The line is normal mood. Then you track 1-10 above the line or below the line. Mine is not the best example but it’s the only one I kept.
I would track 1-10 below the line if I was depressed and 1-10 above the line if I was feeling good or high. I would also write some notes in there to help describe the mood or feelings at the time. There are some mood charts online that you can print off that might help.
Tracking my moods gave me a way to spell out exactly what I was going thru with documentation that helped me answer questions from the doctor that I may not have remembered otherwise.
National Military Appreciation Month
May, marked officially as Military Appreciation Month, is a special month for both those in and out of the military.
Introduced in 1999 by Sen. John McCain and honored every May, Military Appreciation Month encourages Americans to reflect on the sacrifices made by soldiers, sailors, and all current and former military personnel.
Not only do we pause on Memorial Day to remember the sacrifice and service of those who gave all, but the month also holds several other military anniversaries and events, including Military Spouse Appreciation Day and Armed Forces day.
The American military was founded even before the country itself. To fight the British and gain independence for the future United States, the Continental Congress created the army in 1775. After winning the Revolutionary War, the Founding Fathers didn’t intend to have a standing army. They disbanded the Continental Army and called for the “well-armed militias” that have become a flashpoint in today’s debate over the Second Amendment.
Today, the U.S. military is the world’s largest employer, with close to 3.5 million personnel employed in one way or another. The U.S. Department of Defense hires more people than any other organization or corporation in the world. By contrast, Wal-Mart, the largest private company, has 2.2 million employees worldwide.
I have to utmost respect for every person who joins the military, every role is vital and that love and respect extend to the families. We would not be America if it weren’t for our military, we wouldn’t be a respected world leader and we wouldn’t have the power to help others in need.
My gramps was a WWII veteran and one day while going thru some of his military paperwork I discovered he was awarded a Bronze Star. Gramps never talked about his time in the military so it was no surprise that I had no idea what awards he had. I ask him where his award was and he went into the garage and pulled it out of his toolbox. Grunge and all, there it was. I felt such pride and my gramps just brushed it off and said everyone got one of them. I knew better and after his death, I discovered many more metals he was awarded during his time serving our country.
When gramps died we were at the height of the war, and Ft. Hood was stretched very thin. I wanted a military funeral service and they weren’t sure anyone could come. I was shocked the day of the funeral, four soldiers arrived. At the end of the service, two of them folded the flag with gentle and respectful hands and then handed it to me. I felt such pride for my gramps, the four soldiers there that day, and to be an American.
Melinda
References:
Blogger Highlight-Creation of a beautiful life
Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their site with you. This week I highlight a new blogger, Creation of a beautiful life.

Creation of a beautiful life
Placing the focus on self-love, self-care, and the pathways that lead us to happiness
Hello my dear readers! Thank you for your interest, not only in my site but in knowing a little about me. My Name is Tiffany Wade. I’m a very happy wife, a lover of books, writing and creating!
I’m still exploring my pathway of self-love and care. And by sharing my thoughts and insights, I hope I may be able to help encourage and strengthen others along their path as well. Each of our paths will be unique and different, but our goal of self-love and care we have in common.
Melinda
Book Review Yes, You Can Talk About Mental Health At Work by Melissa Doman
I want to give a special thanks to Laura Sebright from Trigger Publishing for sending me the book, Yes, You Can Talk About Mental Health At Work By Melissa Doman for review.

256 pages
About the Author
Blurb
This timely and practical book is for any employee, manager or leader who wants to understand mental health at a deeper level, and learn how to talk about it really well in the workplace.
Taking a realistic approach through research, stories of lived experience, and applied techniques that anyone can use, this approachable book covers a variety of crucial areas, including:
- How we bring our beliefs and experiences around mental health and mental illness into the workplace
- The importance of understanding how the language we use, consciously or unconsciously, impacts our interactions with others
- Ways to manage the challenges around having mental health conversations at work
- Step-by-step ‘how-to’ conversation guides, alongside practical tools
- Concrete tips on ways to action this education, individually or at a team level
After reading this book, you will feel empowered and equipped to have constructive, meaningful conversations about mental health in your workplace.
My Thoughts
Talking about mental health at work is not something I’ve ever felt comfortable with, even with my most trusted managers. I spent my career battling mental illness yet told no one, it’s not just the stigma around mental illness but the fear of the information being held against you in some way.
This book is a great tool for anyone who manages people on how to keep the lines of communication open and create a comfortable work environment.
Everyone faces a mental health challenge at some point in their life, and it affects our entire life including our work life. Some conversations are easier than others and having a tool to help prepare you for those sensitive subjects is critical to being a good manager.
Melissa takes her real-world experience, gives you a step-by-step guide on conversations you may encounter, and provides you with the tools to have deep meaningful conversations about mental health in the workplace.
This is a must-read for every people manager, from the start of your career to being a veteran manager.
Trigger Publishing

TriggerHub.org is the first mental health organization of its kind. We are bringing mental health recovery and balance to millions of people worldwide through the power of our books.
We have built a first-class resource of curated books produced and published in-house to create a unique collection of mental health recovery titles unrivaled in quality and selection. We work with experts, psychologists, doctors, and coaches to produce our books, but we also work with real people looking to share their stories to reach out to others and provide hope, understanding, and compassion. These brave authors also aim to raise awareness of mental health’s “human” face and its impact on everyday lives.
Melinda
Everyday Magic 5/22/2022
I’m so glad you are enjoying Everyday Magic. I find it a good place to wind down and ask some important questions.

Bella and Grace by Stampington
To really live life to its fullest, it’s important to be able to see the beauty in things where others do not.
What unconventional things do you find beauty in?
Enjoy your day!
Melinda
Today in History May 22, 2022
Welcome to the weekend edition of Today in History. I’m so glad you’re enjoying the post. Have an awesome weekend.

1859
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, creator of Sherlock Holmes, is born
It’s the birthday of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the creator of master sleuth Sherlock Holmes. Doyle was born in Scotland and studied medicine at the University of Edinburgh, where he met Dr. Joseph Bell, a teacher with extraordinary deductive reasoning power. Bell partly inspired …read more
1958
Jerry Lee Lewis drops a bombshell in London
The arrival in the United Kingdom of one of the biggest figures in rock and roll was looked forward to with great anticipation in May of 1958. Nowhere in the world were the teenage fans of the raucous music coming out of America more enthusiastic than they were in England, and …read more
2004
Controversial documentary “Fahrenheit 9/11” wins Palme d’Or prize
On May 22, 2004, Michael Moore’s documentary film Fahrenheit 9/11 beats out 18 other films to win the coveted Palme d’Or, the top prize at the Cannes Film Festival. It became the first documentary to triumph at Cannes since The Silent World, co-directed by Jacques Cousteau and …read more
1981
Atlanta child murderer is traced using rare nylon fiber
Police staking out a bridge over the Chattahoochee River near Atlanta, Georgia, hear a loud splash, and begin chasing Wayne Williams as he attempts to drive away in a station wagon. After questioning him about his involvement in the unprecedented string of child murders in …read more
1939
The Pact of Steel is signed; the Axis is formed
On May 22, 1939, Italy and Germany agree to a military and political alliance, giving birth formally to the Axis powers, which will ultimately include Japan. Mussolini coined the nickname “Pact of Steel” (he had also come up with the metaphor of an “axis” binding Rome and Berlin) …read more
Melinda
Stream of Consciousness Saturday #SOCS Prompt is “clear”
Today’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “clear.” Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!

Today the prompt is a good one, clear. I’m not thinking clear after weeks of poor sleep. One thing I remember growing up was being able to sleep late on weekends. My granny would let me sleep until 11:00. that was a good thing because any earlier I would be a monster and probably have a monster hangover headache. But I digress. She would come in to wake me up and say I don’t know how you can lay there that long my bones would hurt me. I thought that was silly and she was giving me a hard time for being lazy.
Fast forward to 58 years old, now my bones hurt. Not after a night’s sleep, not even four hours of sleep but every two hours. I have to wake up and move the dogs around which gets them grumpy and after I get settled I’m wide awake. Then two hours later it’s the other hip or shoulder and it’s time to repeat.
This has gone on night after night, for the last year since I stop taking pain medication. What is clear to me is pain medication is required if I’m ever going to sleep a full night again. I ofter ask while trying to go back to sleep how my granny did it without so much as a Tylenol.
Here’s another take on “clear”, it’s clearly. I’m not thinking that way this morning but look forward to that day. As Johnny Nash says I can see all the obstacles in my way.
Johnny Nash – I Can See Clearly Now
Melinda
Here are the rules:
1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing (typos can be fixed), and minimal planning on what you’re going to write. 2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop. 3. I will post the prompt here on my blog every Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a particular subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The,’” or will simply be a single word to get you started. 4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours. Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below. 5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read all of them! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later or go to the previous week by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find below the “Like” button on my post. 6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get! 7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views. 8. Have fun!
For more streams, rules, and tips for Stream of Consciousness Saturday, visit our host, Linda at: Linda G Hill
Have a great weekend.
Melinda
Fun Facts
Hey, You are the greatest! So glad you stopped by today. Have a great weekend.

The oldest “your mom” joke was discovered on a 3,500-year-old Babylonian tablet.
Two infectious diseases have been successfully wiped out: Smallpox and Rinderpest.
May 29 is officially “Put a Pillow on Your Fridge Day.”
Cherophobia is the irrational fear of fun or happiness.
7% of American adults believe that chocolate milk comes from brown cows.
Reference:
https://www.thefactsite.com/top-100-random-funny-facts/
Enjoy!
Melinda
#Weekend Music Share *Midnight Special-Steve Miller Band “Fly Like An Eagle”
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share; the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the ‘Weekend Music Share‘ banner in your post, and don’t forget to use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
Melinda
Friday Quote 5/20/2022
Hey! So glad you stopped by today, I look forward to your comments each week.


Melinda
Summer Here Its Time For Ticks
This is a post I wrote in 2015 right after my port was inserted. I feel it’s important for people to understand the magnitude of Lyme Disease, it can be life-threatening if it develops into the chronic stage like mine did.
Summer is right around the corner and most won’t give ticks a second thought. Here’s a photo of why you should. IV Antibiotic Therapy is administered the same way chemotherapy is, thru a port straight into your system.
The amount of antibiotics required to fight Lyme is so high your stomach can’t handle it. Your stomach has a hard enough time with the medication you do have to take and the nausea medication only goes so far.
You can’t begin to imagine the care that goes into changing the port bandage, it’s critical that no germs enter the port area. It could cause a deadly infection.
You can prevent Lyme with a few simple steps, please take them while you are out enjoying your summer.
Wear DEET
Check for ticks
Stay out of the tall brush, or tuck your pants into your socks
Wear a hat that hangs down on the back to prevent ticks from falling down your shirt
Wear white socks so you can see the ticks crawling up your legs
Happy trails!
Melinda
Brief Lyme Update #14 *Lyme-tough Me-still have fight in me*
I had surgery for a Port today, it is required for IV Treatment. I choose IV Therapy because it has a record of healing faster. I can tell already a Port for 9-12 months is no merry-go-round. The surgical area’s not bad.
The procedure is short, it takes longer to prep than do surgery. A catheter goes into a small section of the heart, then is brought thru the skin to take medicine through the tubing hanging down with a blue top. Doctors do the procedure differently. The bandaging stays the entire time and is changed once a week.
This is my basic regimen for those who don’t understand the horrible effects of Lyme IV Therapy. In a future post, I’ll talk about the cost of treatment. If you would like to know more leave me a comment or read all 13 of my Lyme post. All ticks can carry Lyme, ticks the size of sesame seed to a piece of rice. P.S. mosquitoes and flies can also carry Lyme. The best revenge is a sunscreen with 20% DEET. If out hiking in pants tucked into socks. Wear light-colored clothes and search like crazy once home, think of a tick that small in your hair.
Starter Regime
Five Supplements (every day)
Seven RX pills (every day)
10mg Morphine patch (one a week)
M, W & F Antibiotic Drip 2 times a day with 2 shots of Heparin
On all other days, two bags of lactose for detox with a shot of Heparin
Each drip takes about an hour
Blood Test once a week
Fly out-of-state once a month for doctor’s appointment
You can not get the bandage wet. Stick saran wrap over the bandage, and you can shower, only if you can do magic tricks.
I hope seeing a photo and reading the post will help put the two together.
XO M
Just Pondering

Bella Grace Field Guide by Stampington
What are five things you can do that never fail to turn your day around?
Melinda
Repost If You Think You Know Lyme, It’s Time For a Serious Refresher
This is a post from 2014 that is just as relevant today as it was then. Lyme kills and it’s totally preventable. Here’s a snapshot of my story at the time. It’s a rather disjointed post as I’m very sick at the time. The facts are the same, the CDC doesn’t have a proper record of Lyme cases and still doesn’t acknowledge that long-term Lyme exists which relates to insurance not paying for care.
We were put in the very position of having to take out a second loan on our house for my $150,000 medical bills. I still have many complications with my health today some most likely related to Lyme.
Yes, Warrior was the nickname I went by in 2014.

2014
Over the past 6+ months, my Neurologist has performed every test in her arsenal except a spinal. Every test she ran came back abnormal yet she was not able to pin down a diagnosis (see post Are Those My Brainwaves). She referred me to a Rheumatologist to start on the treadmill again.
I started researching illnesses that included brain wave abnormalities to weed out my more common symptoms. There were the ones I expected, Lupus, Multiple Sclerosis, or other autoimmune disorders. I didn’t think my answer would come from RA Doctor.
More research and what I found was alarming, not the illness alone, but the politics and witch hunt taking place. The illness is Lyme or other tick-borne illnesses. The CDC rates Texas as med-high concentration. The east coast is at epidemic levels with some articles stating we are facing epidemic levels across the country.
I had a different idea for this post yet feel it’s critical to get this information out ASAP. When I learned of the divide in the medical community over Lyme, I shook my head. What is the controversy? The CDC establishes treatment standards for doctors. The standard Lyme test is based on 20-year-old information. What happens is you go to the doctor for a Lyme test, and it comes back negative. You then find out the test is 30% +/- correct. The CDC acknowledges the test has false positives yet the standard for testing hasn’t changed.
With a lack of confidence in the test, I wanted to see a Lyme Literate Doctor. What blew my mind was a current-day Salem Witch Hunt is happening. On one side of the controversy are doctors who specialize in Lyme and tick-borne illness. If a tick bite is not caught right away it grows in your system. Lyme looks like a long skinny curly worm. It bores thru your body damaging your organs or brain depending on where it lands. The symptoms can move around your body as the virus spreads.
Lyme is hard to kill, it can encapsulate itself in an invisible cocoon and is near impossible to see under a microscope. The Lyme doctors take the approach, attack the virus aggressively for long periods of time to prevent a relapse. People who are very ill from Lyme can require years of antibiotics. Not only to kill the virus more importantly to save your life. Here’s the rub, the CDC states that 2 weeks of antibiotics will cure Lyme and doctors can prescribe an extra 2 weeks if needed. Medicare pays based on the standard set by the CDC. Insurance companies only pay what Medicare pays.
Doctors treating Lyme patients until they start to get called before the Medical Review Board and have their license taken away for a year. Insurance companies are canceling people’s policies and they are left with 150k+ in out-of-pocket expenses. People have to decide do they lose their house or get their loved one’s treatment. It is heartbreaking to watch the videos on YouTube.
There are two main associations which doctors join, it has become one assoc. for long-term treatment and the other against. Most doctors go underground and do not list themselves as Lyme Literate.
When I decided to seek out a Lyme Literate doctor it was a process. I called the association, and they took the info on where I lived and would call back. The next morning I received a call with a doctor’s name and phone number. I later found out the doctor I’m seeing was the first to lose his license for a year. I didn’t know if I should jump for joy or not.
I can’t stress enough how serious the illness can get. I’m battling over 50 symptoms on any given day. The size of tick you are looking for is a nymph about the size of a sesame seed. When you’re doing tick checks on you and the kids, these are hard to see. Around 30% of people get a bulls-eye rash. Please remember to check your scalp, they can hang out in your hair. A flashlight might help with this task.
I’ll keep you up to date on how my appointment goes. I’m not worried about what, I need an answer to move on to the next hurdle. I will do a f/u post including more information about treatments. Warrior
****************
The Most Important “Sexy” Model Video Ever
The Most Important “Sexy” Model Video Ever
http://youtu.be/bOXMKEnra8w
Save the Children gets the point across.
Warrior
Fibromyalgia Awareness Month
Fibromyalgia Awareness Month is important to me because I have it and know others that do. One of the biggest challenges Fibromyalgia patients face is there are so many different symptoms and they mimic other illnesses. That’s one reason it can years to get a proper diagnosis.
Why National Fibromyalgia Awareness Day?
Fibromyalgia is a chronic, complicated disease that affects millions of men and women throughout the world. A musculoskeletal illness produces widespread severe pain with symptoms like increased skin sensitivity, muscular rigidity, difficulty sleeping, memory and attention problems, excessive weariness, and headaches.
It is a challenging condition to identify because there isn’t a single test that can detect and treat it, and the symptoms get frequently misdiagnosed as attributed to other illnesses. Many people feel that the condition is psychological and not genuine due to a lack of research and the difficulties in defining the variables that cause it. Furthermore, there is no permanent relief for the suffering.
As a result, the keys to combating Fibromyalgia are awareness and financing. The goal of this day is to raise awareness about the condition and to encourage further research into finding a cure. The day’s observances greatly minimize the level of threat and the likelihood of being afflicted. When we try to learn more about a disorder like fibromyalgia, we realize just how far we’ve come in terms of innovation and advancement. Observing National Fibromyalgia Awareness Day allows us to reflect on our accomplishments.
Thoughts
Another huge challenge of having Fibromyalgia is it’s invisible, you don’t look sick unless you’re having your worst day. Most of the time you look fine and that is where the misunderstanding about the illness starts with friends and family. You can’t predict how you’ll feel tomorrow let alone next week, so you make plans, only to have a flair day and can’t get out of bed or can’t think straight and have to cancel your plans.
When people think you look fine and you’re not they can take it personally, that’s why it is important to talk with friends and family and fill them in on the basics of the illness and tell them that when you have to cancel on short notice it has nothing to do with them or not want ing to see them.
One thing I would highly suggest for someone newly diagnosed is to take your loved one or family member to all of your doctor’s appointments. This made a huge difference for me with my mental illness. My husband got to hear everything from the doctor’s mouth and got a better understanding of what I was dealing with. We also tell our doctor symptoms we don’t talk about every day and this is another time your loved one can understand all the ways Fibromyalgia affects your life.
Another way you can help is to participate in a Clinical Trial for Fibromyalgia, Keep your eyes open for news about trials in your area. It’s always possible you’ll get a drug that helps you in some way vs a placebo. It’s a 50% chance.
Go easy on yourself. If the house isn’t as clean as you’d like, don’t worry about it. Work a little at a time or call a house cleaning service if you can.
I’ve included a few posts I’ve written on the subject.
https://lookingforthelight.blog/2022/05/05/my-tips-for-some…roawarenessmonth/
https://lookingforthelight.blog/2021/05/12/fibromyalgia-tho…not-a-pity-party/
https://lookingforthelight.blog/2020/07/29/fibromyalgia-tho…-without-a-flair/
https://lookingforthelight.blog/2020/10/13/fibromyalgia-tho…ration-and-anger/
You can find more posts on my site.
Melinda
References:
Wordless Wednesday*Z Z Plant
Thanks for stopping by today, I appreciate your comments each week.

Monster shoot
Baby shoot
Melinda
Just Pondering

Bella Grace Field Guide by Stampington
Our interests and passions are things that make us unique.
What are some things you’re passionate about that might surprise others to learn?
Melinda
I Was Raped At Nine Years Old
I was 9 years old when four boys I knew invited me in for a soda. This was nothing new for any of my friends so I didn’t think anything about it. Once in we had a coke and began to shoot the breeze. What happened next was not expected.
All four boys grabbed me and tore my clothes off and held me down while one boy put his penis in my mouth. I wasn’t smart enough to bite it, I was too scared. I screamed and wiggled around while boys held me down and then, they were down.
I put my clothes on and went home. I never told anyone, my mother is the last person I would tell. She would say I instigated it.
For many years I didn’t think it was rape because I wasn’t penetrating but that is not what rape is. Being sexually assaulted is being forced or pressured to endure any sex act. I’ve never written about that day but have been feeling very raw lately and want to share to help someone else.
Sexual assault is an act in which one intentionally sexually touches another person without that person’s consent, or coerces or physically forces a person to engage in a sexual act against their will. Wikipedia
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673
This was my first experience sadly it wasn’t my last. Maybe I’ll write about them someday.
Melinda
Where To Find Accurate Medication Information
Gone are the days of the Pharmacist calling you over to explain the side effects of your medication, for that matter most of the time I don’t even get the sheet that has a brief explanation of the side effects. This puts the responsibility on us and it’s imperative we take the time to understand all the nuances of each medication we take.
And speaking of medication, it’s important to know what supplements can affect your medication. There are many common supplements that not only have serious side effects but that also counteract your medication. St. John’s Wart is one. The site I’m talking about in this post won’t give all the information on supplements, you’ll have to research them on the internet. Be sure to look for a credible site like WebMD or Healthline.
Social media is the last place to go for information, when looking for accurate information, you want to hear it out of the manufacturer’s mouth. It’s called the Prescribing Information. This is all the information provided to the FDA in order to get approval for the drug.
You don’t need to read all about the clinical trials, the drug’s half-life, and every detail but the side effects are important.
In America, you can go to FDA.gov for Prescribing Information straight from the manufacturer.
Once at the site:
Midway down the page to Drugs, click.
Then Drug Approvals, and Databases, click.
Scroll down to Drugs@FDA Search, click.
You’ll see a search section and a place you can search by alphabet as well. Type in the name of the drug.
In my search I went to Abilify, then you’re given a choice, I picked the oral type and clicked.
This takes me to several documents I can click on, the one I wanted was the Medication guide.
Down towards the bottom of the side effects it talks about serious side effects. This is what you want to be familiar with. Your doctor probably covered some of the most common but if you take a drug for a long time it’s good to have a refresher course.
This information is directly from the manufacturer, not some site on the internet.
Know what you’re taking and be sure to share an updated list of all drugs and supplements you take with each doctor, every time. I also keep one in my handbag, by my driver’s license in case of emergency.
You can also find information about recalls, adverse events, and medical devices on the site.
Melinda
Book Review Love Interrupted, Navigating Grief One Day at a Time by Simon Thomas
I want to give a special thanks to Laura Sebright from Trigger Publishing for sending me the book, Love Interrupted, Navigating Grief One Day at a Time by Simon Thomas for review.
200 pages
Blurb
In his heartbreaking memoir, Simon Thomas (former Blue Peter presenter and one of the leading faces of Sky Sports Football) reveals how grief nearly destroyed him.When Simon lost the woman he had loved for 16 years, the future he’d imagined for their happy family disappeared forever. Just three days after being diagnosed, Gemma died from acute myeloid leukaemia.In Love, Interrupted, Simon is brutally honest about his journey through grief, and opens up about how close he came to ending his own life. Simon didn’t know how to carry on without Gemma; he just knew that, for the sake of his eight-year-old son, he had to find a way…Love, Interrupted is a moving story of love, loss, faith, and family.
My Thoughts
Accolades
‘The most moving book of the year’ Daily Mail’
A brave and candid book’ Metro
Death is a taboo subject but one we all deal with in our lifetime. Simon shares his experience of love and loss, and the will to move forward for the health of his young son Ethan who is eight years old when his mother dies.
His writing is raw as he shares the experience of losing his wife suddenly to cancer and how he navigates the unbearable grief. Simon talks about his mental health during the grieving process and how to help a child deal with all the emotions of losing a mother. It’s a heartbreaking story but one of hope.
Simon and Ethan learn how to build a life and move forward to reclaim their happiness while still honoring his wife Gemma.
This book is for anyone who has lost a loved one or is helping someone who has and is dealing with grief. It’s not a book about dying but one about living, about taking the painful steps forward to find happiness again and to provide a stable life for his son.
It’s a fast read and you feel Simon’s pain and loss in a real way. I would recommend this book without hesitation.
Trigger Publishing

TriggerHub.org is the first mental health organization of its kind. We are bringing mental health recovery and balance to millions of people worldwide through the power of our books.
We have built a first-class resource of curated books produced and published in-house to create a unique collection of mental health recovery titles unrivaled in quality and selection. We work with experts, psychologists, doctors, and coaches to produce our books, but we also work with real people looking to share their stories to reach out to others and provide hope, understanding, and compassion. These brave authors also aim to raise awareness of mental health’s “human” face and its impact on everyday lives.
Melinda
Blogger Highlight-Healing Your Heart From Within
Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their site with you. This week I highlight a new blogger, Healing Your Heart From Within.

Healing Your Heart From Within
Decided to dance a little deeper in life, and wow can spirit dance!
My search for meaning in life. Going through the ups and downs in life trying to come to terms with that ongoing question that we all have…’is this it?’. And the process I took to finally understand that I’m a package and most of my life I had been playing with the wrapping, not realising that further in was this incredible present just waiting to be held, felt, listened to, understood and integrated into who I was to become. After recognising this part of myself, spirit asked that I put what I had learned somewhere that others may gain from it and help their journey just as I had also been helped to find that present within.
Be sure to stop by and check out his blog.
Melinda
Today in History May 15, 2022
Welcome to the weekend edition of Today in History. I’m so glad you’re enjoying the post. Have an awesome weekend.

1937
Madeleine Albright, America’s first female secretary of state, is born
Madeleine Albright, America’s first female secretary of state, is born Marie Jana Korbelova on May 15, 1937, in Prague, Czechoslovakia (now the Czech Republic).
The daughter of Czech diplomat Josef Korbel, Albright fled to England with her family after the Nazis occupied Czechoslovakia in 1939. Though Albright long believed they had fled for political reasons, she learned as an adult that her family was Jewish and that three of her grandparents had died in Nazi concentration camps. The family returned home after World War IIended but immigrated to the United States in 1948 after a Soviet-sponsored Communist coup seized power in Prague. Josef Korbel became dean of the school of international relations at the University of Denver (where he would later train another female secretary of state, Condoleeza Rice).
1941
First Allied jet-propelled aircraft flies
On May 15, 1941, the jet-propelled Gloster-Whittle E 28/39 aircraft flies successfully over Cranwell, England, in the first test of an Allied aircraft using jet propulsion. The aircraft’s turbojet engine, which produced a powerful thrust of hot air, was devised by Frank Whittle, …read more
1942
Legislation creating the Women’s Army Corps becomes law
On May 15, 1942, a bill establishing a women’s corps in the U.S. Army becomes law, creating the Women’s Auxiliary Army Corps (WAACs) and granting women official military status. In May 1941, Representative Edith Nourse Rogers of Massachusetts, the first congresswoman ever from …read more
1982
“Ebony And Ivory” begins a seven-week run at #1 on the pop charts
Without the black keys, the white keys on a piano would pretty much be stuck playing “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” and “Do Re Mi.” If you want anything more interesting than that—if you want a song like “Yesterday,” for instance—you’re going to have to get the two sets of keys …read more
1988
Soviets begin withdrawal from Afghanistan
More than eight years after they intervened in Afghanistan to support the procommunist government, Soviet troops begin their withdrawal. The event marked the beginning of the end to a long, bloody, and fruitless Soviet occupation of Afghanistan. In December 1979, Soviet troops …read more
Melinda
Stream of Consciousness Saturday #SOCS Prompt is “hat”
It’s Saturday again and time for us all to join in Linda’s SoCs. The prompt is week is: Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “hat.” Use it literally or metaphorically. Have fun!

I love hats and my first hat was a football helmet from my gramps for my first birthday. Some would say it’s not a hat but I think it set me on a course of loving hats. Ball caps, cowboy hats, and fedoras are my favorite. I have a large collection and with the weather in Texas, I don’t get to wear them often enough.
The hat I had the most fun wearing wasn’t really a hat, more like a halo. A halo of flowers like mother nature would wear. It was for my Junior Prom and it matched my dress. I got so many compliments and a few laughs but I felt larger than life.
Here’s a photo of a hat I wore in 2019 for another blogger I was trying to cheer up during a very stressful time.
It did make her laugh, she even posted a photo of herself in her favorite hat. Who knew hats were good for your mental health.
What’s your favorite type of hat?
Melinda
Here are the rules:
1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing (typos can be fixed), and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.
2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.
3. I will post the prompt here on my blog every Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a particular subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The,’” or will simply be a single word to get you started.
4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours. Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.
5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read all of them! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later or go to the previous week by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find below the “Like” button on my post.
6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!
7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.
8. Have fun!
For more streams, rules, and tips for Stream of Consciousness Saturday, visit our host, Linda at:
Have a great weekend.
Melinda
Fun Facts
Hey, You are the greatest! So glad you stopped by today. Have a great weekend.

Banging your head against a wall for one hour burns 150 calories.
In Switzerland, it is illegal to own just one guinea pig.
Pteronophobia is the fear of being tickled by feathers.
Snakes can predict earthquakes.
Crows often hold grudges against specific people.
Enjoy!
Melinda














