I’ve spent the past two days celebrating my 20 year wedding anniversary and Thanksgiving. Now that I’m coming off the sugar, I want to say how much you make my day. A smile comes over my face when I see the people who have followed me for years and a special smile for all new followers.
I never dreamed where blogging would take me, boy was I in for a huge surprise. I’ve learned from each of you and enjoy our conversations. I look back to 2005 when I started blogging and can say I’m better a person for crossing paths with you.
Anxiety affects more people than you might realize. Now that mental health is becoming less stigmatized, it’s becoming more normal for people to talk about their anxiety and put it out there in the open. But just because more people are talking about it, doesn’t mean that coping with anxiety itself is getting any easier.
Unpredictable and at times, crippling, anxiety affects people in different ways. Everyone has their own way of dealing with things, but there are some things you can do every day to help you ease your anxiety and help you regain your calm.
Photo by Mental Health America (MHA) on Pexels.com
Learn to focus on your breathing
Never underestimate the power of focused breathing. Focusing on even, steady breaths when you’re feeling anxious could help you bring your heart rate down and help you clear your mind to give your attention to the task at hand. Many people find the 4-7-8 breathing technique useful for this. Taking some slow deep breaths can have an instant effect, so try practicing measured breathing to help you in the future.
Write it down
If something is making you anxious, it can help you get some clarity to write it down – especially if something is overwhelming or you can’t make sense of it. People use writing as a way to cope with difficult experiences, and it can be used to tackle everyday thoughts and feelings too. Even if you just write something down on your phone, you could feel better once you’ve got it all out.
Look at alternative remedies
Different remedies can help you deal with anxiety. Many people use aromatherapy as a way to promote calm, while otc anxiety treatments can also be effective for some sufferers. Always seek medical advice before taking supplements, especially if you’re taking medication, but some natural supplements could be effective for helping you manage your anxiety.
Another idea is to look into a school program that takes a holistic approach to learning-related health and well-being. It can be beneficial for you and your child as a better way to deal with anxiety. If you’re interested, then take the time to look into what Alpine Academy Reviews has to offer you in this area.
Do some short exercise
Exercise has many benefits for your health, and it can be great for your mental health. When you’re feeling a wave of anxiety coming on, or you’re dealing with a stressful situation, try exercising. There are some excellent short yoga routines for dealing with anxiety that could help you regain your center and help you relax too. Regular exercise is important, but it’s good to know where to find some short routines you can do as and when you need them.
Going for a run or a short walk can also be a good alternative to yoga, helping you get out in the fresh air and enjoy a change of scenery.
Acupressure is a type of massage therapy in which manual pressure is applied to specific points on the body. Acupressure is a practice of traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) that is similar to acupuncture, except that it uses fingertip pressure instead of needles.
Acupressure is said to help with a range of conditions, from motion sickness to headache to muscle pain. TCM practitioners say acupressure benefits are achieved by using pressure points along the energy pathways in the body, to encourage the free flow of energy, or qi.
How Does Acupressure Work?
Acupressure is thought to treat blocked energy, although it remains uncertain exactly what acupressure does. Some think the pressure may cause the release of endorphins. These are natural pain-relieving chemicals in the body.
Others think the pressure may influence the autonomic nervous system. This is the part of the nervous system that controls involuntary things like your heart, digestion, and breathing.
What Is Acupressure Used For?
Most people try acupressure to manage a condition, such as:
Acupressure is often done by an acupuncturist. Depending on what points they need to access, you may sit or lie on a massage table during the session.
You can also do acupressure on yourself. It is best to learn proper technique from an acupuncturist.
In general, though, you apply pressure to a specific point using a thumb, finger, or knuckle. You can also use the tip of a pen. The pressure should be gentle but firm.
Safety and Side Effects of Acupressure
Acupressure should never be painful. If you feel any pain, tell your therapist at once.
Some people may feel sore or have bruises at acupressure points after a session. You may also feel lightheaded for a while.
Pressure should be gentle over sensitive areas, such as the face.
If you’re pregnant, talk to your care provider before trying acupressure. During pregnancy, acupressure isn’t usually done on:
The abdomen
Certain points on the leg
The lower back
Acupressure shouldn’t ever be done over any of these areas:
Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their site with you. This week we highlight a new blogger, Visions in the Dark.
From the mind to the pencil, night visions, a legacy honored in the light
This blog is to help me cope with the loss and suicide of my father. My Dad had written his own book of short stories, jokes, poems, and drawings he called “Night Visions” that helped him cope and express himself in his life. I hope to share some of his work as well as my own writing
Her blog is very unique and she has such great stories to share.
Everyone wants to live a long and healthy life, but not everyone knows how to take care of themselves to ensure health and longevity. Yet, if you know that you want to look after yourself to ensure the best possible health for as long as possible, it’s important to take the right steps. In this blog post, we’ll go over some tips on how to care for yourself so that you can enjoy a long and healthy life.
There are plenty of good reasons to focus on living a long, healthy life. For one thing, you’ll feel better if you’re healthy. You’ll have more energy to do the things you love, and you’ll be able to enjoy your life more. Additionally, staying healthy can help you avoid costly medical bills and time spent in the hospital. Of course, there’s also the simple fact that you’ll live longer if you’re healthy. And who doesn’t want to live a long, happy life?
So why not do everything you can to live a long, healthy life? As much as you can take medication or get partial dentures or have operations, why not do things that can prevent this all together? We’re now going to take a look at the three things you can do to make sure you find longevity in life.
1. Eating Well for Longevity
One of the most important things you can do for your health is to eat a nutritious diet. A healthy diet includes plenty of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins. It’s also important to limit your intake of unhealthy foods like processed meats, sugary drinks, and excessive amounts of saturated and trans fats. Eating a nutritious diet will help your body stay strong and fight off disease.
2. Moving Your Body More
In addition to eating a healthy diet, you should also make sure to get plenty of exercise. Exercise is important for maintaining a healthy weight, improving heart health, and reducing your risk of developing chronic diseases like diabetes and cancer. Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise most days of the week. Walking, jogging, biking, swimming, and taking group fitness classes are all great ways to get in your daily exercise.
3. Taking Care of Your Mind
Finally, it’s important to take care of your mental health. Stress can take a toll on your physical health, so it’s important to find ways to manage stress in your life. Meditation, yoga, spending time in nature, and talking to friends and family are all great ways to reduce stress levels. Taking care of your mental health will help you feel your best and enjoy a long and healthy life.
Making Your Health a Priority
Taking care of yourself is essential for enjoying a long and healthy life. Eating a nutritious diet, getting plenty of exercise, and taking care of your mental health are all key components of self-care. By following these tips, you can live a long and happy life full of good health.
The most significant aspect of your life is your health, which demands your attention. However, because of the requirements, so many individuals view this as a task that must be accomplished. But it doesn’t have to be this way; you shouldn’t feel as though taking care of your health is a burden. It’s worth looking into the many things you may do and how you can be creative with them since it can be pretty enjoyable. Once you start focusing on your health a lot of other things fall into place and you will start to enjoy every part of your life without worrying about your health.
One of the best things you can do is to look at preventative care but then also to see professionals if something does occur. This could be things like seeing the dentist, the eye doctor, and any specialist for any ailments you have. If anything happens like you lose a tooth you will need immediate care like getting dental bridges applied.
Get support to quit smoking
Your respiration, circulation, and general fitness can all be impacted by smoking. Heart disease and stroke might potentially result from it. The single biggest step you can take to enhance your health is to stop smoking. You can seek free local counseling and support to assist you with quitting. Stopping is never too late.
Stress less
We’ve all experienced it, and if you haven’t, probably, you’ve never been to a family meal. But if you consistently experience stress, it might harm your health. We are all aware of how detrimental stress is to our health. Our heart health may suffer the more worried we perceive ourselves to be. But with the job, relationships, families, and everything else life throws at us, it can be hard to resist giving in to stress. Avoid letting it affect you.
Embrace your joy
When it comes to self-care techniques, there is no right or wrong, yet it is simple to slip into the “shoulds” trap. Making self-care another item on your to-do list negates its purpose. If rising at five in the morning to meditate isn’t your cup of tea, try something else until you discover something that works for you. Following your delight will increase both your satisfaction and the efficacy of your self-care
Every day, spend 20 minutes outside
How frequently do you experience anxiety and overwhelmed when you’re outside, strolling through nature, or unwinding on your porch? The likelihood is that you experience the majority of your stress when working at your computer inside, chasing after children, or rushing to put food on the table. Getting outside for at least 20 minutes each day is one simple method to put your mental health first. This can entail taking your dog for a walk or running a few miles. Even if you don’t always manage to get in 20 minutes, just taking a brief break outside can do wonders for your stress and attitude.
Think about the last time you had a bad day. Maybe you were feeling down about yourself, or perhaps everything that could go wrong did. It’s easy to let those negative feelings take over, but it’s important to remember that they’re just temporary. No matter how bad things seem at the moment, there are always ways to improve your self-image. Here are a few little changes you can make that will help you feel better about yourself in no time!
Every day, we wake up and look in the mirror. We see ourselves, and we make judgments. We decide if we like what we see or if we don’t. We may feel good about ourselves, or we may feel inadequate. Our self-image is the way that we see ourselves, and it can have a significant impact on our lives. If we have a positive self-image, we’re more likely to be successful and happy. If we have a negative self-image, we may miss out on opportunities and be less likely to achieve our goals.
Luckily, there are things that we can do to improve our self-image. One of the best things that you can do is to smile at yourself in the mirror every day. It sounds simple, but it’s actually quite powerful. When you smile, you send a message to your brain that says, “I’m happy with who I am.” Another great way to improve your self-image is to give yourself compliments. Acknowledge your achievements, no matter how small they may seem. Give yourself credit for everything you do well, and soon you’ll believe it too! Improving your self-image is a process, but it’s worth undertaking. By making small changes in your daily routine, you can make a big difference in how you see yourself – and in how others see you too!
Dress Nicely
If you’re unhappy with your self-image, don’t worry – you can make plenty of small changes to feel better about yourself. For instance, start paying attention to the way you dress. Even if you’re just lounging around the house, put on something that makes you feel good about yourself. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy – just something that makes you feel comfortable and confident. Additionally, make an effort to take care of your appearance. At the very least, keep your hair clean and styled and your nails trimmed and polished. But, again, you don’t need to go overboard – just put in a little effort to look your best.
Take Care Of Your Body
You don’t have to make considerable changes to see a big improvement in how you feel about yourself. Taking small steps to improve your appearance and eating habits can go a long way in boosting your confidence and self-esteem. For example, something as simple as getting an orthodontics evaluation can make a big difference in how your smile looks. And adding more fruits and vegetables to your diet can improve your skin tone and overall health, giving you a radiant glow. By making some small changes, you can significantly improve how you feel about yourself. So don’t wait any longer; start making those changes today!
In Conclusion
Improving your self-image can be as simple as making minor changes to how you speak and treat yourself with kindness. By improving your relationship with yourself, you’ll see a big difference in how you feel daily. Plus, a positive self-image will help you attract more positivity into your life overall. Who knew that such little changes could have such a big impact?
It’s no secret that a home gym can provide many benefits. In fact, research has shown that people who have a home gym are more likely to stick with their fitness routine. There are many reasons for this, but the most common one is convenience.
When you have a home gym, you can work out any time you want without having to worry about scheduling appointments or fighting traffic to get to the gym.
You also don’t have to worry about paying high membership fees. Plus, you can hire your own gym equipment through companies like Hirefitness if you don’t want to fully commit to one type for too long.
Another big benefit of having a home gym is that you can customize it to fit your needs. You can choose the equipment that works best for you and the exercises that you enjoy doing. This means that you can create a workout routine that is perfect for you and your fitness goals.
If you’re thinking about setting up a home gym, there are a few things you will need to think about.
Space
First, you need to make sure that you have enough space. A home gym doesn’t have to be huge, but you do need to have enough space to move around and store all of your equipment.
Equipment
Second, you need to make sure that you have the right equipment. You don’t need to spend a lot of money, but you do need to get quality equipment that will last.
Rules
Third, you need to set some ground rules. For example, you need to decide what time of day you will work out and how often you will work out. Once you have these things in place, you’re ready to start working out!
Exercises
If you are ready to get going, here are 10 exercises to help you on your fitness journey.
Push-ups:
Push-ups are a great way to work your arms, chest, and shoulders. To do a push-up, start in a plank position with your hands on the ground and your feet shoulder-width apart. Lower your body down until your chest is just above the ground. Push back up to the starting position.
Squats:
Squats are good for working your legs and glutes. To do a squat, stand with your feet shoulder-width apart and your hands at your sides. Lower your body down as if you were going to sit in a chair. Keep your knees behind your toes and make sure that your back is straight. Push back up to the starting position.
Sit-ups:
Sit-ups are for your core. To do a sit-up, lie on your back with your knees bent and your feet flat on the ground. Place your hands behind your head and curl your upper body up towards your knees. Lower back down to the starting position.
Lunges:
Your legs and glutes will love you after doing this. To do a lunge, stand with your feet shoulder-width apart and your hands at your sides. Step forward with one leg and lower your body down until both knees are bent at 90-degree angles. Make sure that your front knee is behind your toes and that your back is straight. Push back up to the starting position.
Burpees:
Burpees will get your heart rate up and work your whole body. To do a burpee, start in a standing position with your feet shoulder-width apart and your hands at your sides. Lower your body down into a squatting position and place your hands on the ground in front of you. Kick your feet back so that you are in a push-up position. Lower your body down and then press back up to the starting position.
Jumping jacks:
Jumping jacks will work all over your body. To do a jumping jack, start in a standing position with your feet together and your hands at your sides. Jump up and spread your legs out to the side. As you land, bring your legs back together and jump up again.
Mountain climbers:
Another exercise that will work your core as well as the arms and legs. To do a mountain climber, start in a push-up position with your hands on the ground and your feet shoulder-width apart. Bring one knee up towards your chest and then quickly switch legs. Continue alternating legs as fast as you can.
Planks:
If you have never done a plank before, you’ll certainly feel it when you do it. To do a plank, start in a push-up position with your hands on the ground and your feet shoulder-width apart. Lower your body down so that your elbows are bent at 90-degree angles and make sure that your back is straight. Hold this position for as long as you can.
Side plank:
Side planks will work your obliques. To do a side plank, start in a plank position with your feet together and your right hand on the ground. Rotate your body so that your left foot is on top of your right foot and your left hand is in the air. Make sure that your body is in a straight line from your head to your feet. Hold this position for as long as you can and then repeat on the other side.
Squat jumps:
It may sound hard to do, but once you get the hang of it you’ll be a pro. To do a squat jump, start in a squatting position with your hands at your sides. Jump up as high as you can and land in the same squatting position. Make sure that your knees are behind your toes and that your back is straight.
Conclusion
Hopefully, you will find them to be incredibly beneficial to your fitness regime!
In this fast-paced social media world, it can be difficult to find the time to look within or back in time. I hope you find these quotes and questions interesting. So glad you stopped by today!
I’m so excited to see that Sherly at A Chronic Voice is feeling better and hosting the November Writing Prompts this month.
What the 2022 November Writing Prompts are About & How to Participate
The linkups are a monthly get together for anyone with a chronic illness, mental disorder or disability. An opportunity to share, to listen, and to learn from one another through shared writing prompts. I also think it’s a great way to provide insight into life with chronic pain, from many different points of view.
All you have to do is write using at least three of the writing prompts listed below, and publish it on your blog, or to a free writing platform like Medium. Then click on the blue ‘Add Link’ button to add your blog post to this page. Voilà, you’re now part of the linkup party!
Here are the November Prompts
Finishing
Fatiguing
Easing
Comforting
Wishing
I’m choosing three this month, Easing, Fatiguing, and Comforting.
Easing
I bought a bicycle to cruise around the neighborhood and the park nearby. Bike riding was one of my favorite hobbies growing up and in my early 30s. My balance is wacky so I don’t know how this will work. My goal is to ride to the park with my camera to enjoy the ducks and squirrels. This is my motivation to get some exercise on the days I’m able.
Fatiguing
I have been experiencing Fibromyalgia flares back to back for close to two months and fatigue has ruled my world. I have spent anywhere between a half to a full day in bed almost every day. When I’m not in bed, it’s such a treat. The pain in my hips has left me unable to put pressure on my hip which means I limp a lot. This has been a Tsunami flare, in all the years I’ve had Fibromyalgia, I have never encountered one like this.
Comforting
I only go out of the house for doctor’s appointments, which leaves me bored on days I feel good. I’ve started adding to my collection of houseplants. I went from seven plants to over 30! This has been a lifesaver, I get to watch the growth and enjoy it when a baby shows up. I’ve tried my hand at succulents for the first time to mixed results and bought a Rubber Tree. They only need attention once a week and so far that has not been an issue for me. Now I have my own garden in the house during winter instead of dead plants.
Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their site with you. This week we highlight a new blogger, Bridgette Tales.
I started this blog in 2013 with the words: “Once upon a time there was a mother who wanted to do something other than dishes and laundry.”
This version of myself feels sort of familiar.
It ended with the words: “She took a deep breath and just went for it.”
This I recognize.
I’ve spent the last nearly decade breathing in and plunging forward.
I’ve been as transparent as I can, exploring motherhood, depression, and body image. There are things I withhold to protect my friends and family, and I’m attempting to explore new territory with my fiction writing. The blog, like me, is a work in progress.
Self-care is something we can do every day for our mental and physical health. It doesn’t have to be big steps because small steps are sometimes all we can give. Here are some of the daily self-care habits I’ve built.
All of the items were purchased on Amazon.
Mustela
Stelatopia Creme Emolliente
This cream is beyond hand cream, it’s so light and starts absorbing when you put it on and stays with you for hours. Mustela is known worldwide for its quality and purity. You can get back on the computer or do other tasks quickly. This product truly helps dry Winter hands.
Henne
Luxury Lip Balm
I’m always searching for a great lip balm and have found myself disappointed most of the time. At last, Henne has shown me what lip balm can be. It last and doesn’t crust around the mouth and a little goes a long way. Don’t let the price fool you, you get what you pay for.
Dr. Ohhira’s
Probiotics
I have waffled on the importance of Probiotics in my diet because I never felt any different or saw any changes. This product contains post-biotics which help to complete the cycle of digestion. I’ve been taking them now for about three months and believe they are making a difference.
Aquaphor
Healing Ointment Advance Therapy
I love this ointment, a little goes a long way and sinks in nicely. At night I use this for my hands and knees. If you put on too much you will have greasy hands so take it slow. A small amount in your palm will cover both hands.
This winter I also treated myself to a fuax fur throw for my chair, it’s heaven.
Self-care is essential for our mental health and it’s more important if you have a chronic illness. Here’s a previous Things I’m Loving.
This is an example of how trauma represents itself long after you’ve worked out the worst in your head and heart.
People who have read my About Me page know I’ve had my share of trauma and that I’ve worked hard to overcome my demons. The truth is they never go away, some piece in your heart or brain still remembers. It’s not something you feel, it becomes a trigger.
Photo by u0422u0430u0442u044cu044fu043du0430 u0427u0435u0440u043du044bu0448u043eu0432u0430ud83cudf52 on Pexels.com
Here’s some backstory
My husband works for an International company and they’ve gone thru a major reorganization recently. It is a bit chaotic right now, he is working many late-night meetings so his counterparts in the other country can participate. Because of this, my husband doesn’t get a chance to unwind from the stress. Fact of life right?
We all have to find a way to deplete stress from our day in order to feel restored and for our long-term health. Last night he didn’t finish his day, minus looking at emails all night, until after 7PM and he was trying to destress for the day.
I saw him from the corner of my eye, he was maxed out. I said to him not in these exact words, that I was concerned that he was not getting a chance to destress every day and that maybe there were other options the doctor could offer him. Like anxiety meds.
During our conversation, he said, “I’ll think about it”. Sounds harmless right? It triggered me. At that moment, “I’ll think about it” meant, either I’m not going to do it or shut up about it. I got upset and we had a breakdown in communication.
He has no way to know that comment would trigger me, I had no idea.
The post isn’t about how our communication went sideways, it’s an example of what’s under our skin that remains after trauma. It’s impossible to see triggers when you’re still working thru trauma, the nerves and heart are like a live wire. When you’re in the middle of the storm it’s pure survival, whatever it takes.
Those who make it thru the storm come out with deep scars, you have no idea how those scars will represent themselves as you move forward in life.
As we learn what is a trigger, we can better learn how to deal with the emotion it brings up.
Give yourself and other’s some grace in those moments.
I want to send a special thank you to the Managing Editor of Trigger Publishing, Soraya Nair for sending Me, Myself and Ana by Abi Appleby to review. This is a story that will pull at your heart and will help people see there is light at the end of the tunnel for those who need help.
Blurb
Who’s your best friend? What happens when they’re not a real person, but a voice in your head?
Abi Appleby’s eating disorder manifested as Ana, a voice that told her to eat less and exercise more until she disappeared. Abi trusted and listened to her for long enough that her loved ones noticed her changing body and behaviours. They helped her into treatment, but even there, she could still hear Ana’s voice.
Me, Myself & Ana tells the story of Abi’s descent into anorexia nervosa, but it also shows how she finally quieted Ana – and realized that she wasn’t her best friend, but an enemy that she could defeat.
My Thoughts
Eating Disorders are complex to treat, and require a very specialized treatment plan and oversight. “Statistically anorexia has the highest mortality rate of all psychiatric disorders (Arcelus, 2011). Help from professionals reduces the likelihood of dying from anorexia significantly.” (Except from book)
Abi’s eating disorder is so severe it manifested into a voice/friend in her head named Ana who doesn’t want Abi to get better. Ana was taking over her life by giving her restrictions on what to eat, and how much, and forcing her to exercise way beyond her capability. She is starving and praising Abi for how good she looks.
Abi is doing her part by going into treatment after she reached a dangerous state of health and her family noticed how sick she was. She works very hard in treatment but she is still controlled by Ana and getting ridiculed daily for seeking treatment.
Now her struggle is shutting out these voices during treatment that are sabotaging her and learning how to live without an eating disorder. At one point Abi was skin and bones and her goal was to disappear. As you can imagine, Ana spoke even louder and more destructively and Abi follow her right into the middle of the eye of the storm.
“Ana” wasn’t so much a friend as a deadly mental illness disguised as a friendly voice inside my head: anorexia nervosa.” Several of her journal entries are quite scary. I am so proud of her for getting help and now she helps others.
Excerpt From Me, Myself and Ana
We all have an inner voice but it’s very different for people with a mental illness who are very sick to see clearly.
This would also be great to have around the house for tweens/teens, boys, and girls, so they can get exposure to eating disorders, you have to start young with what is normal and what is not. There is so much peer pressure on teens these days with Social Media showing so many images that are photoshopped or they hear about a starving model hear makes over a million a year.
This is a big thumbs up in my book!
Trigger Publishing
TriggerHub.org is the first mental health organization of its kind. We are bringing mental health recovery and balance to millions of people worldwide through the power of our books.
We have built a first-class resource of curated books produced and published in-house to create a unique collection of mental health recovery titles unrivaled in quality and selection. We work with experts, psychologists, doctors, and coaches to produce our books, but we also work with real people looking to share their stories to reach out to others and provide hope, understanding, and compassion. These brave authors also aim to raise awareness of mental health’s “human” face and its impact on everyday lives.
November has arrived and that means it is time to think about holiday gifts. Books are a special gift and you can personalize it by writing an inscription on the first blank page of the book. I have kept books that are not necessarily ones I’ll read again but kept them because they have inscriptions that bring back memories.
I’ve combined several lists to give you more choices.
Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their site with you. This week I highlight a new blogger, Shangri-La.
I love to write about the simple things in every day life with humor and positivity. My late Irish born mother Mary, is my favorite subject. I have written several stories about her on my blog and hope to comprise them all into a book in her memory. I also work in a Psychiatric hospital and cherish all the wonderful patients that enrich my life with their beauty, intelligence wit and courage, each and every day.
Please check out her site, she writes from the heart.
I have been struggling with hip, back, and knee pain, and it drives me crazy how it moves around my body throughout the day. I have bursitis in both hips and arthritis in my lower back. I’ve been dealing with severe pain, and now it hurts to walk, I’ve coped by going to bed. It’s frustrating to leave everything behind. I may have to stay in bed for two days before the pain moves down the scale.
Fed up with lying in bed, I decided to take a hot Dead Sea Salt bath with essential oil. I haven’t had to think about how to get in the bathtub before. My first attempt had me on both knees, very painful and I was too weak to pull myself up. I finally got out and thought about how to get in, what the hell, I just jumped in.
The reason for writing this post is so people without a chronic illness will think about the difficulty people with chronic pain or illnesses have with simple things.
I would love to hear what you do to relieve chronic pain.
Cheryl Clarke contacted me and asked if I would post Dawn’s Symons experience with ME/CFS. Without question, I knew many of my readers are interested in this topic. Enjoy.
Dawn’s experience with ME / CFS and her recovery story
When did you first get diagnosed?
I wasn’t diagnosed with ME until 2012, but I’ve had ME since I was in my 20’s so I’ve had it for about 34 years.
And what was it like when you first got your diagnosis? How did that feel?
Relief. I already knew there was something going on, and I was just glad that I finally had a diagnosis because a lot of people call people who have Chronic Fatigue or ME hypochondriacs. They call them lazy. I never met anybody who has experienced ME who is either of those things.
They usually have class-A personality types; they are driven and don’t take time off when they are poorly. Instead, they keep going and going, which chips away at the body and reduces the immunity, and they get an infection from which they don’t recover.
Can you tell us your experience of ME?
I couldn’t walk more than about 30 steps for about 18 months. I was so insular and isolated I couldn’t physically have a conversation because I didn’t have enough energy. And my mental capacity was greatly reduced because I had such severe brain fog.
It was difficult to think about what I wanted to say, and if somebody asked me a question, it was difficult to reply because, by the time I started thinking about the response, I had forgotten the question. So on top of everything, I felt stupid.
I managed to work literally for a couple of hours a week. I lost everything, including my home. And then obviously you get depressed with it, going through that experience.
So I was very low. Not so much anxious, although towards the end of it, I was getting very anxious because I’d lost all of my savings, and I could see that I was going to end up homeless, which I did.
Then you’ve got a mental battle going on as well. Why can’t I recover, why can’t somebody help me, why aren’t the doctors helping, and why are there no pills for this?
And how would you explain it to someone who has no idea what ME /CFS is?
If I was to sum up ME / CFS in one hit, it would be like an old phone that you charge up, but it only holds the charge for two hours, and you’ve got to leave it on charge all the time, and that’s what having ME is like, you can’t recharge your battery. You don’t know what’s going to drain it. There is sometimes very little that you can physically do, and you’re just drained.
The more you try and do, the more frustrated you get, and then you get even more drained. The thing that drains energy the most is depression and anxiety. It puts a huge amount of stress on the body and mind.
This is why I think the bottom line is to get the mental state in a more accepting state and then start adding little bits and pieces of other activities which might help from the healing wheel in the First Aid For Stress program and trialing what works.
So do you recommend different levels of activity depending on the severity of your CFS?
It’s a case of trial and error. Trying and then seeing what the effects are. Recovery is not going to come about quickly. It’s taken me a long time to get to where I am now. And at this moment, I am still battling. I’m battling with menopause as well as Chronic Fatigue. Every single case is different because each person may also have multiple health issues to contend with, not just Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
Did/ do you take medication for CFS / ME?
There is no pill for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. There are lots of medications suggested, but they come with a lot of side effects, and I am very sensitive to medication, so I didn’t want to take them. I’ve also come to realize that there can’t be one pill for everyone because it’s so multifaceted. There are so many things that are having an effect on the body and the mind that has resulted in the symptoms.
This is the reason calming the mind down is so important. Particularly if you are pressuring yourself. There are so many worries that come with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, such as “I’ve got to get better because I’m going to lose my job”, “I’ve got to get better because I have to look after my children”, “I’ve got to get better because I’m going to lose my home”. And that level of pressure is too much.
What did you realize in your recovery journey that is in the First Aid For Stress Program?
Unless you deal with the worry and fear and come to accept the fact that you have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, you will not be able to recover. It’s like having ten spoons in the morning, and each spoon is for doing something, and that doing something could be as much as rolling over, and that takes two spoons worth of energy. Then you need the toilet, and that takes three spoons. Suddenly you’re down to five. Cooking a meal for yourself, game over.
And you live in that awful state for a very long time. And the worst thing for your energy levels is your mind chattering, your mental state. It’s so important to learn to be kinder to yourself. To do some meditation, one of the core parts of my work is the meditations that I’ve recorded which are freely available to everyone. Listening to that recording repeatedly begins to rewire the brain.
BIO: Dawn Symons from First Aid For Stress and Maga Therapy. Dawn has lectured and written widely, specialising in tension & stress reduction irrespective of the cause, applying the latest scientific thinking to provide logical, effective & progressive results. She facilitates the First Aid For Stress Program for people suffering from ME / CFS / Anxiety / Depression and Chronic Illness.
Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their site with you. This week we highlight a new blogger, Chronic Reflections.
Chronically ill and mostly housebound with CFS/ME. Mom to an adult daughter. Recovering perfectionist. Interested in history, current affairs, social justice, sustainable living, and the Arts. Hobbies include writing, reading, word puzzles, listening to music, watching good TV and classic movies, playing casual computer games, and sleeping.
I watch a lot of streaming television shows as well as movies. Hence, in general, I avoid advertisements. Yesterday, I happen to be watching Buffy The Vampire Slayer again. The television series; not the movie. The only way to watch it is on Hulu streaming service where I am exposed to commercials. Sigh. And, they […]
Stress and anxiety are common experiences that can have a significant impact on your daily life. While some stress is normal and even necessary, too much stress can lead to problems. Understanding the causes of stress and anxiety can help you find ways to manage these feelings and improve your overall well-being.
There are many possible causes of stress and anxiety. Some people may be more prone to these feelings due to their genes or brain chemistry. Others may experience stress and anxiety in response to specific life events or circumstances. And still, others may have a medical condition that contributes to these emotions.
Some Of The Most Common Causes Of Stress And Anxiety Include:
Major life changes, such as starting a new job or getting married
Financial problems
Relationship difficulties
parenting concerns
Health issues
Workplace stressors
Terrorism, natural disasters, and other global events
In many cases, stress and anxiety can be caused by a combination of factors. For example, someone who is dealing with a serious illness may also be experiencing financial stressors. Or someone who is going through a divorce may also be facing work-related challenges.
While some amount of stress and anxiety is normal and even beneficial, as it can help you to stay alert and motivated, too much can have negative consequences. Prolonged periods of stress can lead to physical health problems such as heart disease, high blood pressure, digestive issues, and sleep problems.
When it feels like the world is against you and everything is going wrong, it can be difficult to cope. Stress and anxiety can leave you feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and hopeless. But there are ways to manage stress and anxiety and regain control of your life.
Here Are Some Tips To Help You Keep Stress And Anxiety At Bay:
1. Understand what causes your stress and anxiety
Are you someone who internalizes stress and worries a lot? Do you have trouble letting go of things? Are you constantly comparing yourself to others? Identifying the root cause of your stress and anxiety is the first step in learning how to manage it. Once you know what’s triggering your feelings of stress and anxiety, you can start to address them.
2. Challenge your negative thoughts
Negative thinking is one of the main contributors to stress and anxiety. If you’re constantly putting yourself down, ruminating on past failures, or worrying about the future, it’s no wonder you’re feeling stressed out! Start by challenging your negative thoughts. When you catch yourself thinking something negative, ask yourself if it’s really true. Chances are, it’s not.
3. Practice relaxation techniques
There are a number of different relaxation techniques you can try to help ease stress and anxiety. Deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and visualization are all effective ways to relax your mind and body. Experiment with different techniques to see what works best for you.
4. Get moving
Exercise is a great way to relieve stress and boost your mood. Even just a few minutes of physical activity can make a big difference. Taking a brisk walk, going for a swim, or taking a yoga class are all great options.
5. Connect with others
Isolation can make stress and anxiety worse. Make an effort to connect with friends, family, or a support group. Talking about your stress and anxiety can help you feel better and may give you some helpful perspectives.
6. Make time for yourself
It’s important to make time for activities that make you happy and help you relax. Whether it’s reading, listening to music, spending time in nature, or taking a yoga class, find an activity that brings you joy and stick with it. Making time for yourself will help reduce stress and improve your overall well-being.
7. Be patient
Learning how to manage stress and anxiety takes time. Be patient with yourself, and don’t expect overnight results. Remember that you’re not alone in this journey and that you can get through this. With a little effort, you can start to feel better and live a more peaceful life.
8. Avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms
It’s also important to avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as alcohol or drug misuse. These can actually make your stress and anxiety worse in the long run. In addition, they can also lead to other health problems. On the other hand, it can be extremely positive to find good coping mechanisms for the things that are affecting your mental health. For example, talking to a professional about penis augmentation procedures or arranging CBT sessions.
9. Make lifestyle changes
Lifestyle changes can also help reduce stress and anxiety. This might involve simplifying your schedule, getting more sleep, eating a healthy diet, or buying Delta 8 Gummies to take the extra edge off. Again, the key is to find what works for you and stick with it. Implementing these changes can be difficult, but the results are worth it.
10. Seek professional help
If you’re struggling with stress or anxiety, it’s important to seek help from a qualified mental health professional. He or she can help you identify the causes of your emotions and develop an effective treatment plan. Treatment may include medication, therapy, lifestyle changes, or a combination of these approaches.
With proper treatment, most people are able to manage their stress and anxiety and live relatively normal lives. However, if left untreated, these conditions can have serious consequences. For example, people with untreated anxiety disorders are at an increased risk of developing depression, substance abuse problems, and even suicidal thoughts or behaviors.
If you’re struggling with stress or anxiety, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. There are many resources available to you, including mental health professionals, support groups, and hotlines. With the right help, you can overcome these challenges and start living the life you want to live.
In Conclusion
There are a variety of things that can cause stress and anxiety. It’s important to identify your triggers and find healthy coping mechanisms. If you’re struggling to manage your stress and anxiety on your own, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. Finally, be sure to take care of yourself both physically and mentally. When you do, you’ll be better equipped to deal with whatever comes your way.
You look up and it’s October, pushing November, where did the time go? I’m doing an annual check of how I’m doing at Looking for the Light. I’ll keep it short, please take a minute to give your feedback.
National Bullying Awareness Month is something I can relate to. In my day bullying was just that bullying, calling people names, playing pranks, hazing, and fist fighting. The norm, but today it’s a whole new ballgame because of the Internet, and social media.
When you are abused as a child and live in a domestic violence home you don’t trust anyone, I didn’t want anyone to know, not even my grandparents. My mother was good at keeping the bruises hidden so no one would know. For this reason, I didn’t make many friends and was not very social.
When I was in 6th grade I was bullied to the extreme. The girls, about 4-6 people would follow me walking home. They normally stay a short distance behind me calling me names of all sorts. If the bullying wasn’t damaging to a 6th grader’s ego, one day two of the girls came up close behind me and hit me over the head with a coke bottle then started kicking me. It left a huge bump and it hurt but I didn’t cry until I got home.
The worst was the girl I lived next to when younger said to meet in her backyard for a fight. When I arrived there were at least 25 people there to watch me get my ass kicked. They all joined in calling me names and then out of nowhere she hit me upside the head, that was only the first blow. I knew if I got into a physical fight I would pay for it at home so I barely defended myself. After what seemed like forever it was over.
I knew better than to say something but I needed something for my head, it was bleeding. I told my mother and stepfather. Boy what a mistake, my alcoholic stepfather was tanked and went to kick the father’s ass. Oh boy, would I get more beatings for that at school? Luckily, he was too drunk to drive and that was the end of that. No compassion, no advice, nothing.
That was bullying then, today the landscape has changed and bullying hits you from any direction from faceless people. They are cowards, hiding behind the wall of the internet they troll you. From the news stories, I hear it can be relenting. I’ve known friends from WordPress who were hassled so bad they shut their site down and started over. I understand because someone started stalking me for seven months, even hacking my computer, it was frightening not only because of the fallout but were they nearby and watching me? That seven months took a toll on my health and I couldn’t go anywhere by myself for fear of being followed.
That is one way people bully you today. Don’t even get me started on social media. I have a very strong feeling about the role parents play in a child/teen’s life. I’m not going to get on my bandwagon but will say if parents aren’t monitoring their children’s Internet and phone activity, they are making a big mistake and doing their children no favors.
Here are some facts
Prevent Bullying Every Day
As reported on the 2019 Indicators of School Crime and Safety report, about 20% of students ages 12-18 reported being bullied in 2017. Among students ages 12-18 who reported being bullied during the school year, 15% were bullied online or by text. National Bullying Prevention Awareness Month is a month-long observance to educate and raise awareness about bullying and cyberbullying prevention. Addressing and preventing bullying is something that everyone can do, every day.
Address Bullying At School
Educators and teachers can create a safe, supportive learning environment and a classroom culture of positivity, inclusiveness and respect. They can reward students for positive social behavior. Schools can communicate bullying policies at their school to parents, students, teachers and staff and follow through on them. Monitoring bullying ‘hot spots’ around the school campus can also help prevent bullying.
Talk About Bullying At Home
Parents and caregivers can talk with their children about their school and digital life, and the many roles children can play in bullying. By asking open-ended questions, they can talk about their children’s experience and communicate expectations about appropriate behavior – in person and in their digital world. Parents are the primary role models for their children, and when they model the behavior they expect from their children, they teach through actions.
Get Help
Youth who experience bullying can reach out to a trusted adult to talk about it and get support. If they’re being cyberbullied, they can capture screenshots. They can block the people who are bullying. If they witness bullying, they can change the conversation and deflect it. If they feel they can do it, they can stand up for the person being bullied, either on their own or with friends as a group. If they don’t feel safe doing that, they can reach out to the person being bullied to let them know that they don’t agree with it. If youth witness cyberbullying, they shouldn’t participate or share the posts or texts. They can learn more about how bystanders are essential to bullying prevention. They can also talk to a trusted adult for advice.
Check out these videos on how to handle different bullying situations.
The holidays are here — a time for family, friends and festivities. But it’s also a season of consumerism, which is costing our planet a hefty price.
This year, the world has seen the biggest increase in ship emissions in over a decade (along with endangered whales getting struck by congested cargo ships.) In the US alone, returned packages will generate around 15 million tons of carbon pollution (equivalent to 3.2 million cars driven on the road for one year). And then there are the environmental harms caused by the gifts themselves, which could include polluting fast fashion items, plastic toys made from fossil fuels, or sweet treats that are driving deforestation.
But it is possible to show your loved ones you care while also caring for our collective home. We asked TED speakers to share planet-friendly gift recommendations, and here are 16 ideas for a merry — and more sustainable — holiday season.
[Editor’s note: One of the greatest gifts you can give is the gift of lifelong learning. For your favorite curious soul, consider sending them a TED Membership, where they can enjoy exclusive programs and events throughout the year as well as access to a global community of like-minded people. Learn more here.]
1. Digital subscriptions for the mind, body and soul
I love the ritual of presents, and I’ve found that digital subscriptions are great gifts. Here are three:
1) An annual gift subscription to Duolingo (Plus or Family), because learning another language is a beautiful gift to ourselves and to the world. It creates stronger bonds and connects with other cultures.
2) An annual subscription to Body Groove. During the pandemic, I learned that dancing at home does wonders, physically and mentally. We need to keep strong!
3) An annual subscription to a magazine that will introduce you to great writing and emerging voices. Because in an age marked by existential struggles — climate, COVID, inequality — we need fiction and non-fiction. We need the power of stories to help us expand our imaginations and transcend our everyday lives. — Monica Araya (TED Talk: How cities are detoxing transportation)
2. Sustainable alternatives to frequently purchased products
Some of the most impactful gifts are those that can replace “sleepwalk consumption” products — the things we buy repeatedly without much thought. Luckily, many of these products can be replaced with sustainable alternatives, and many companies have made delightful, whimsical and giftable versions of them. By giving a beautiful sleepwalking product as a gift, you could change one person’s — or one family’s — impact over the rest of their lives. Here are a few ideas: 100 percent Slave-Free Chocolate, “Give” Holiday Edition Toilet Paper, Oatly Chocolate Milk, Brew Dog Beer Advent Calendar, Bite Toothpaste or Dirty Labs Laundry. — Mariana Prieto (TED Talk: Why animals need design)
3. Tree saplings
If you live in the UK, why not give your loved one a pack of 105 tree saplings to plant, thereby helping save the planet by removing more carbon dioxide from the air and providing valuable new habitats? They can be obtained from The Woodland Trust — and the best thing is that they’re free. I helped plant 210 saplings last week! And if you don’t live in the UK, there may be a similar scheme where you are, but even if there isn’t, give someone some trees anyway. — Ian Firth (TED Talk: Bridges should be beautiful)
4. Outdoor gear
Being that change is certain but not predictable, I’ll suggest a gift from BioLite, which offers great products for outdoor adventures and off-the-grid and emergency energy. I love Biolite’s awesome commitment to serving both campers and people who still lack access to reliable power, and the company has also won the prestigious 2021 National Design Award from the Cooper Hewitt, Smithsonian Design Museum. I’m getting my pal who has frequent outages an Alpen Glow 500, so she can charge her devices with it too. — Wendy Brawer (TED Talk: How green is my city?)
5. A parks pass
My planet-friendly gift recommendation for any Americans on your list is an annual pass to the US National Parks. It’s a great gift, because what could be more fun than spending time outdoors with your loved ones learning about the beautiful planet we live on? The money also goes towards the National Parks Service, which has conservation as an essential part of its mission (and has since its founding in 1916). — Zoe Pierrat (TED-Ed Lesson: Earth’s mysterious red glow, explained)
6. Refurbished antiques
My favorite climate-friendly gifts are refurbished antiques. It’s a wonderful way to repurpose a once-functional item from the past into a beautiful gift. I am also an environmental science teacher, so every year I create a bulletin board that suggests other green holiday ideas to my students because there are so many ways to offset your carbon footprint. — Kim Preshoff (TED-Ed Lesson: What’s a smartphone made of?)
7. A mushroom garden
My sustainable holiday gift recommendation is a mushroom grow cube that allows you to easily grow a delicious, sustainable food source from your kitchen, basement, bathroom — wherever is convenient for you. It’s fun to watch them grow (quicker than you would expect!) with very little effort, and they come in several mushroom varieties. You can get them from a variety of sources online, but to make the gift more sustainable, you can look into a local mushroom grower online or get them in person at your local farmers’ markets. (For example, here is a local mushroom grower near me in Maryland.) — Noah Bressman (TED-Ed Lesson: The fish that walk on land)
8. A giant of a plant
Most of us have enough stuff, so this holiday season, why not give a gift that will create a legacy? While the Archangel Ancient Tree Archive won’t sell you their certified champion Giant Sequoia seedlings, they will plant one for you — or even an entire forest. What better gift can you give than one that will be around for thousands of years? — Camille Seaman (TED Talk: Connection and purpose: tales of polar photographer)
9. A vegan dessert
The Brave Robot cake mix uses a non-animal whey protein that replaces the equivalent of three eggs! It produces an animal-free yellow cake that doesn’t use aquafaba, flax seeds or other traditional egg replacements that can mess with flavor or texture. The protein is made by reprogramming microflora to produce the same whey found in cow milk — it’s cellular agriculture in action! — Isha Datar (TED Talk: How we could eat real meat without harming animals)
10. A map of your town or city
Who doesn’t love a good map? Humans have been using them ever since our ancestors started drawing on cave walls. My planet-friendly gift recommendation is a map of your city or town. If you want, circle your favorite places that are accessible on foot, bicycle, bus and metro, such as parks, vistas, buildings and shops. You could give it in either digital or paper form — and bonus points if you can find an old map at an auction site or local map store and get it framed. Maps can help people rediscover the amazing diversity of their natural and built environment, support local business and help keep everyone’s footprint local. — Robert Muggah (TED Talk: The biggest risks facing cities — and some solutions)
11. Support a local theater or bookstore
While we fight climate change, we can still do the things that are most important, like hugging grandmothers, meeting friends and celebrating holidays. A ticket to a local theater might be one of the most climate-friendly gifts, and it strengthens the community.
Here in Iceland, a book has been the most popular Christmas gift for the last century. We have what is called jólabókaflóð, or the Christmas book flood. Most books are published in November and December to become Christmas gifts, and for most people, there is no holiday without going to bed with a new book.
So I would recommend giving a book, perhaps by a local author from a local bookstore. The book can last decades, and it never becomes obsolete. You can pass it on; it is not run by evil algorithms; does not monitor your behavior; give you likes; or collect your data in energy-intensive data farms. A good book lets you dive into other people’s minds — and at best, it can change your life. — Andri Snær Magnason (TED Talk: On time and water)
12. Wildflower seeds
Native wildflower seeds make a wonderful gift. As they bloom, they become the foundation of local ecosystems for pollinators and birds, while improving soil health and preventing erosion. They won’t break your bank, and your recipient will smile every time they see them. — Jeff Kirschner (TED Talk: This app makes it fun to pick up litter)
13. Zero-carbon fashion
We know the fashion industry has disproportionately negative impacts on the environment — it is responsible for 20 percent of our water pollution, 10 percent of carbon emissions, and every time we wash synthetic fibers, we are contributing to microplastic pollution. That’s why I created a company that produces clothing made by hand with only three ingredients — sun, plants and mountain water — and without using any electricity, chemicals, plastics or fossil fuels. Another clothing and textile company that’s aiming to do things more sustainably is Rough Linen. They create beautiful linen products from natural fibers, including sumptuous bathrobes, PJs, aprons, tea towels and so much more, and all products are handmade in the US. With each gift, you can remind your cherished giftee that our consumer choices can impact industries. — Angel Chang (TED Talk: How ancient textiles can help the future)
14. A local experience
Personally, I try to move away from purchased items for my giftees, as consumerism results in significant carbon emissions and awe-worthy amounts of waste. Instead, I try to spend money on shared local experiences that bring joy and create shared memories. These can be regionally specific and vary considerably in price; however, the plentiful availability of virtual workshops does make this a highly accessible gift idea. In the past, my giftees and I have learned the art of falconry as well as how to scuba dive, race sled dogs, zip line, blow glass, metalsmith, cook pasta, taste whiskey, bead jewelry and sew. Last but not least, we’ve visited baby goats and learned to make cheese and garden! — Anne Madden (TED Talk: Meet the microscopic life in your home — and on your face)
15. A day out in nature
Give the gift of learning to reconnect with nature, which is at the heart of solving our environmental crisis. Create a homemade “nature experience gift card” to suit your loved ones’ interests — creating a personalized day out in nature that’s organized by you. Depending on where you live and what you enjoy doing with them, it could be a mountain hike, a walk on a quiet beach, a visit to a botanic garden, or a picnic in a local park. While you are there, invite them to sit quietly; observe the sounds, smells and feel of the surroundings and the visual beauty; and simply notice what happens. — Carol Farbotko (TED-Ed Lesson: Where will you be able to live in 20 years?)
16. A workshop or course
How about giving a gift that gives back? I’m thinking of a gift that can build someone’s skills to pursue a life of purpose and dignity. These resources already exist in us today, but we don’t utilize them enough. Why not gift someone a workshop or course that enhances their skills so they can be confident, empowered and encouraged? I like to gift a basic survival skills course that will teach them to deal better when in crisis. Your giftee will thank you for it! — Rumaitha Al Busaidi (TED Talk: Women and girls, you are part of the climate solution)
Can having less stuff, in less room, lead to more happiness? Writer and designer Graham Hill lays out three rules for editing your life:
Thank you for all the great feedback on the Blogger Highlight series, I’ve enjoyed meeting each blogger and sharing their site with you. Each week I highlight a new blogger, this week is Peace From Panic.
Embracing, Advocating & Discovering Happiness in Mental Health
Thank you for visiting my blog! My name is Jeni Driscoll. I’m a mom with a wonderful husband and two beautiful daughters, both in their 20s.
I’ve had panic attacks since I was ten years old. At that time, I had no idea what was wrong with me. I never told anyone because I didn’t know how to describe my scary and weird sensations. I thought there was something really wrong with me that could never be fixed.
Stigma prevented me from talking about my problem. I finally reached out for medical help when I was in my early 30s. My diagnosis: panic disorder with agoraphobia.
I’m now recovered. Anxiety no longer rules me.
I learned so much from her blog. Be sure to check Jeni’s blog.
I’ve lived in the hell of Domestic Violence. Instead of giving you statistics, I want to share some thoughts and experiences. In this post, I also share ideas on how to proactively prepare for the day you leave.
This chart is great to use for teaching tweens/teens and as a reminder for yourself. If children are taught early, you can help them see the warning signs, and help them gently with the words to break off the relationship before it goes any further. Teens can be a handful but early learning will help.
There are resources on the Internet on how to listen to your child if you are worried about them. Talking to a therapist about coping skills and how to teach your children about abusive relationships will help immensely.
Feelings you may encounter
Anger
Confusion
Fear
Explosions
Self-Hatred
Low Self Esteem
Chaos
Running Away
Suffocated
Followed
My world was walking on eggshells, listening to my mother get beat day after day. My stepfather hit her head against the wall as they went down the entire hallway and stopped at my bedroom door. I had to listen to my mother begging for him to stop, it traumatized me.
I was nine years old, my parents were going to bed, and I thought we had made it thru another day. A few minutes later I hear her screaming and them coming down the hall, wincing every time her head hits the wall. They landed in front of my door but across the hall, I could peek out my door and see everything. My stepfather dragged her by the hair, up against a wall, and had a knife to her throat. My mother saw me I could tell she was afraid for her life. I saw a trickle of blood and freaked out. I had fears of him hurting us four children.
Even though my mother and I had a very fractured relationship, you don’t want to see your mother killed. I was panicked, and could not get to the phone to call my grandparents. I gather up the little money I had hidden and took off on my bike. I rode across town to my boyfriend’s house. Long story short, my mother arrived acting nice until we got in the car. She slapped me all the way home. Everything was fine, it was my fault.
If you are in a Domestic Violence relationship and you are planning to leave, there are some steps you can take to make the move less stressful. If you have a family member or friend that would allow you to pack some items and leave them until the night you leave that would not cause alarm at home. If you don’t have anyone to help you directly, hiding essentials in the trunk of your car is possible. The key is to be prepared as possible because once you leave the house, it may take a while before you get your items returned or are able to move back in the house.
You have to get crafty when it comes to money. If you withdraw the money too quickly they will find out. He’s what comes to my mind. You have to plan your escape seriously and it has to be precise or it may escalate. If both of your names are on the credit card or bank try to get your name taken off and get a new account sent to a safe address. Run as fast as you can with what you can! Life will be insane for a while but living in those conditions is inhumane.
Save small amounts of money and hid it from your partner, after you have a small amount of money, take it to your friend’s house for safekeeping. You will need to save money for some time to help you once you leave. I’ve heard of many women being cut off from money, it’s probably one of the leading causes. Many times one partner will be left without money, for who knows how long.
If you have children you will need escape bags for them too. I’m talking like one small suitcase for all. If you have a job it’s easier, in that you can control your future. Once you settle into a shelter, family, or friends, new routines can form. Shop different stores, and do everything to avoid him even if that means driving out of way to pick items up. The last thing you want is a confrontation. This can escalate very quickly and turn into a bad ending.
I’ve talked to many women and men from Domestic Violence homes and leaving is always hard. There are so many fears. Have someone on your side to talk to if you can. The key is planning, where to go, and when to go, you have to plan a couple of days’ clothing if possible because it may be that long before an Officer can go with you and let you in the house. Tell as few people as possible and get a burner phone so he can’t track you.
It may sound far-fetched but many abusers don’t want to lose their partner, they say I love you and how sorry they are, and it will never happen again. LIE! They want to continue to control you and will stop at nothing. I’m not talking about killing you, even though in a worst-case scenario it could happen, what I’m talking about is the hassling, all the time, calling you or your employer, calling your family members, they will work hard to have you back in their life.
I will firmly say the first time you leave is the easiest, if you go back and many do, they will keep an eye on every move you make. Don’t let that stop you from leaving again you have to try a different technique. The saddest is the children involved in the turmoil. Years of therapy helped me deal with my traumatic background.
Please check out my page Organizations That Can Help, the number of resources I have for Domestic Violence is fairly short but there are other resources you may need along the way listed too. There are some great blogs that discuss Domestic Violence, seek them out to learn tips on how to diffuse situations to how to prepare to leave.
I’m proud of you wherever you are in life and pray you are happy and healthy. Please remember I’m talking about what happened in my life. I won’t say I know yours or that I’m an expert, I’m not. Just a 59-year-old recalling traumatic memories. Therapy has saved my life. One thing I know is the less you keep bottled up, the better your mental health will be.
One thing you need is a couple of people to follow and learn from those who have been where you are. You’ll get ideas from following others, not only for learning but also for building your confidence. A blog I read a long time ago went as far as how to protect yourself inside the home if you are trying to get in.
Here are a few products I’m in love with right now. I hope you find a new product to add to your household or self-care routine. The list may also give you ideas for a surprise for friends, family, or co-workers.
Nature Valley Wafer Bars
Nature Vally Wafer Bars in Peanut Butter Chocolate taste out of this world and have made my weight loss journey easier. My husband also eats them every day, no weight loss journey, they’re that good. They have multiple flavors and at 100 calories per bar, it makes a great breakfast or snack. Your children will love these too!
You can purchase it at Kroger.
Ohio Tea Company
Ohio Tea Company, wow this is a true tea place. If you want it, chances are they will have it in stock. Teas I had not heard of and have bought a few small packs of exotics just to taste. The flavor I’m in love with is the Monks Blend. It’s the perfect drink anytime tea, I’m drinking right now. One page on their site says they have over 400 teas in stock, surely you can find a few blends for you. Makes great gifts!
You can purchase it online at OhioTeaCo.com.
Bach Rescue Pastilles
Bach Rescue Pastilles in Lemon are homeopathic and trusted generations. They have been a lifesaver since my diagnosis of Sjogren’s Syndrome, I have difficulty making saliva and my mouth is always dry. These help to produce saliva and taste great. They are soft round pastilles that come in a yellow round tin and contain 35 pastilles in each tin.
You can purchase it off Amazon.
Stonefire Flat Bread
The flatbreads have made my weight loss journey easy and when you are cramped for the time they’re the perfect match. We create all types of flatbreads for dinner with all types of goodies on them but I also eat them for lunch or dinner. Each flatbread is 100 calories which works for me, I often add peanut butter or honey to one and that fills me up.
You can purchase it at Kroger.
I would like to hear what products you have added to your life lately that you love?Leave me a note in the commentsection below.
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