Moving Forward

5 year old shots and kills another 5 year old with family gun **Ignorance is no different than parent shooting the child**

Why aren’t parents with guns using gun locks, keeping guns in a safe, childproofing, and not going to jail when their child shoots and kills someone? I believe everyone has the right to own a gun and use it for self-defense. What I can’t get my head around, is why are children/teens gaining access to guns. There are headlines weekly about children/teens gaining access to parents’ guns. This is fixable and impacts all children/teens. Why does another child have to die for the ignorant behavior of a parent? The article is from a British Newspaper, Pierce Morgan tweeted the article to his followers with less than kind words about America. It’s sad, I had to agree with him. The killing of a child with your gun is no different from you pulling the trigger. Parents need a life sentence for killing the child.

http://www.upi.com/Top_News/US/2014/08/01/5-year-old-girl-in-Idaho-shot-dead-by-another-5-year-old/1421406904662/

Melinda

Fun · Moving Forward · Survivor

Humbled With Nomination For Very Inspiring Blogger Award*Celebrate Dance to the Music*

Alygeorges surprised me with a nomination for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award. I’m honored she finds my blog worthy of the respected award. Alygeorges has a very uplifting site focused on Christian scripture. With a focus on how to apply the scripture to our lives. I can always find a great reminder of what God gives us in her post. She shares without preaching. She’s a long time friend/follower to lookingforthelight.me I will answer the questions and complete nominees at another time.Due to my health, I’m not able to list the worthy blogs to nominate for the award.There are many great blogs,what a problem to have. I have a big smile on my face.
The Very Inspiring Blogger Award

Seven Things about myself:

I can’t have to many watches, this is a twenty year passion. I only have two expensive watches, one being my first splurge a Tag Hauer.

I think I’m a tech guru, on the MAC that is so from the truth.

I won’t drink milk out of date.

Before Lyme, I was a fanatic about a clean desk.

I usually have four or five books I’m reading at same time.

I listen the same three artist every night, James Blount, John Mayer and Josh Groban.

I love Black & White photography.

I’ll have to come back and finish up the requirements and nominations. Be patient with me, it may take a long time. Thank you Alygeorges for wonderful surprise.

Warrior

Fun · Moving Forward

Brain Fart Friday: Warrior Eats Crow With Aerosmith & Rolling Stones

You know you’re getting old when you have no clue what day it is. We’re having Throwback Thursday!

I can’t give you Satisfaction by the Stones, think you’ll like my choice. Windows is foreign after all these years. You’re worth every word I said while working on post. I was born with a Rock Star in my head, better than marbles. I fell in love with Train Kept a Rollin’ at 12 years old. I would lay on the couch watching The Midnight Special letting the music soak in. Music is a trusted friend who always knows how to please. The Stones are older than dirt, Mick still dances badly and Keith has zero brain cells left. I saw The Rolling Stones at Wembley Stadium in 1990. It was a trip, 70,000 people single file, no assigned seats and calming walked in. As they started playing this song I was making my way to front stage. The crowd parted, passing me a joint like the old days. A great memory for the concert memory bank. I would love to hear your favorite concert memories. Watching the video brings back good memories with my friend Jackie. Both bands that stand the test of time. Now kick back, close your eye’s and remember the first time you heard the songs. 

Warrior

 

 

Fun · Moving Forward

Brain Fart Friday: Warrior Eats Crow With Aerosmith & Rolling Stones

You know you’re getting old when you have no clue what day it is. We’re having Throwback Thursday!

I can’t give you Satisfaction by the Stones, think you’ll like my choice. Windows is foreign after all these years. You’re worth every word I said while working on post. I was born with a Rock Star in my head, better than marbles. I fell in love with Train Kept a Rollin’ at 12 years old. I would lay on the couch watching The Midnight Special letting the music soak in. Music is a trusted friend who always knows how to please. The Stones are older than dirt, Mick still dances badly and Keith has zero brain cells left. I saw The Rolling Stones at Wembley Stadium in 1990. It was a trip, 70,000 people single file, no assigned seats and calming walked in. As they started playing this song I was making my way to front stage. The crowd parted, passing me a joint like the old days. A great memory for the concert memory bank. I would love to hear your favorite concert memories. Watching the video brings back good memories with my friend Jackie. Both bands that stand the test of time. Now kick back, close your eye’s and remember the first time you heard the songs. 

Warrior

 

 

Fun · Moving Forward · Survivor

A Grandparents Love Lives On With Happy Birthday Wishes

 

 

  My Granny

I miss my grandparents everyday, none more than on my birthday. Every year they would get on the phone together and sing Happy Birthday. This was a tradition, gramps called many in the family to sing Happy Birthday. As  gramps fell into a coma, one of his sisters by his side, my brother entered the room, she said it’s T’s birthday and gramps started singing. Those were his last words, I know my brother cherishes every word. Tomorrow I turn 51 yrs old, my grandparents can’t call yet I know they are thinking about me. A daily one minute phone call to say I’m alive was all granny needed. She always worried about me. They loved to watch our reactions to Santa, hiding Easter eggs and fighting over who would lick the bowl of frosting. I learned to roller skate at approx 5 years old. Skating provided an outlet and hearing my favorite music over the loud-speaker made me want to dance. As I got older my grandparents would take us skating. Unlike many parents today, my grandparents would stay to watch us have fun. We were building memories that last a lifetime. I loved to speed skate, coming around the last corner full speed one of my wheels blew out throwing me over the mushroom seats. I got up, sat down and began taking my skates off. The ball bearings wore out, it was a right of passage for us kids. Getting new wheels didn’t cross my mind, I didn’t have the money and knew my mother would die before buying me new wheels. My grandmother comes over, her purse on her arm as always and whispers in my ear “what do new wheels cost”. We talked to the salesperson about the different wheels and prices. I focused on the least expensive but really wanted the green speed skating wheels. She knew me so well, asking “how much for the green ones”? She says “I have some mad money” which meant she was hiding money. “Don’t tell your grandfather how much they cost”, ok no problem. She had money hid everywhere, under my dolls clothes, behind frames, in kick knacks. After her death I rounded up several hundred dollars, gramps had no idea she was hiding money. I had to take every photo frame apart, look in everything. Before Dementia took her mind, she took her wedding ring off and forgot where. This crushed gramps, we constantly looked for the ring. During one of our searches after her death I find this kleenex crumpled up in the bottom of a drawer. As soon as I pick it up, pay dirt. We stood there staring at it crying. He slept with the ring in a box by the bed, he gave it to me before he died.

My grandparents had 5-6 huge trees out back loaded with squirrels. Living thru the Depression, gramps knew how to entertain himself for hours. He would go to the river bottoms to pick up pecans, coming home with several buckets full. Then sit in his lawn chair in the shade to sort and crack. He did this several days a week for years so it was no surprise when he had a squirrel eating out of his hand. Granny wasn’t afraid of squirrels but didn’t have the same affection for them. Until she thought he killed one. It was hilarious to hear them tell the story. One of gramps other past times was sitting on the front porch using a sling shot and pecans to scare the squirrels. He shot a pecan up the tree, hits one, it falls out of tree and she thinks it’s dead. She had a few choice words then told him to go check on the squirrel. Gramps is about to pick it up and it comes to. He had knocked it out. I think they were both surprised and off the squirrel went. It bothered me watching this cat and mouse game my whole life, then he took it to a new level. Retirement can get boring for some, not gramps. He started leaving cages out back, when the squirrel would go in the door would close. He checked them all day long, as soon as the door went down, he would round granny up and off to the river bottoms they go. He might release six to eight a day. I think he really did it to get her out of the house, granny was legally blind, this allowed her to put some lipstick on and get out of the house.

My grandparents gave me unconditional love, self-confidence and their time. Time is more precious than what to me.

Warrior

Fun · Moving Forward

Throw Back Thursday *Rock Out With Fleetwood Mac, Eagles and Peter Frampton*

July 7, 2014 Throw Back Thursday startled to lighten the mood as we slide into the weekend. One day to kick back, for that short time lose yourself. Three years later it’s evolved to Triple Shot Thursday. I look forward to Thursday the same as I did in the beginning. I hope you enjoy three of my fav’s.  M

The music world would not be the same without Fleetwood Mac, the greatest band in the world! Watch Lindsey Buckingham make his guitar scream. Those were the 1970’s.  Enjoy.   Warrior

Moving Forward · Survivor

From Me To You, You Are Loved

I woke up weeping this morning, the reasons are never known. I sit down to write and start to cry. Unsure of what I need emotionally, my focus turns back to the computer. When a song strikes my heart, instantly I know that is what I need. Today I needed to hear I was loved. Josh Groban fills my soul, maybe he can fill you with love today.     

The song is by Josh Grobin, Don’t Give Up You Are Loved.

 

Melinda

Moving Forward · Survivor

From Warrior To You, Don't Give Up You Are Loved

I woke up weeping this morning, the reasons are never known to me. I sit down to write and start to cry. Unsure of what I need emotionally, my focus turns.When a song strikes my heart, instantly I know that is what I need. Today I needed to hear I was loved. Josh Groban fills my soul, maybe he can fill you with love today.     Warrior

Fun · Moving Forward · Survivor

Throw Back Thursday*Warrior Throwsdown 1970’s Rock*

This is my fav music period, no doubt you’ll hear more. I picked three video’s, the first is Peter Frampton in 25 perfect minutes of music history. Shout out to my CTC brother Dragon, Chicago is for you.   Warrior

Fun · Moving Forward · Survivor

Throw Back Thursday*Warrior Throwsdown 1970's Rock*

This is my fav music period, no doubt you’ll hear more. I picked three video’s, the first is Peter Frampton in 25 perfect minutes of music history. Shout out to my CTC brother Dragon, Chicago is for you.   Warrior

Moving Forward · Survivor

Operation Infinite Justice "Where the Stars and Strips and the Eagle Fly"

I saw the video this morning, memories flashed, I found my notes. This is for all the heroes including victims and families. Sending out big hugs.  

9/11/01

Notes I made as horror unfolds.

The face of America and the free world has changed. America is under attack by terrorist. Four planes hijacked, two planes crashed in to both World Trade Center buildings. Not long after a plane crashed in to Pentagon and one crashed in field in Pennsylvania. Both towers fell to ruble, a shocking sight. As the buildings crash the air looked like a volcano. Fatalities are high. The fire’s rage on at Pentagon. We learned plane crashed in PA targeting White House. Airforce One possible target, no information on how.

The second day airspace locked down. The reaction from around the world is amazing. Even China has provided their support in the event of war. We have committed to use what ever means we have to fight terrorist. Bomb threat for Empire State, bomb dogs picked up a positive reading. Manhattan is a war zone. Several buildings evacuated, no other incidents.

I’m embarrassed by the people who deface Mosque.

So many not displaying flag.

Doesn’t seem right to turn television off. It’s so hard to process what happened this week.

What’s financial impact, how devastating ?

I heard my first helicopter since Tuesday. My mind flashed, how would Dallas respond? Do we have the protection needed?

It’s been a week, so much accomplished. No one found alive since last Wednesday.

9/17/01

Troops on alert including reservist. 5,432 people still missing. Afghanistan has launched a Holy War. What’s Holy about war?

9/19/01

The war is now called Operation Infinite Justice. The order signed for troops to move, no details. As many as 150 aircraft staging. Tomorrow ground troops get orders.

9/20/01

It is hard to watch families say goodbye as troops head out.

 

Moving Forward · Survivor

Operation Infinite Justice “Where the Stars and Strips and the Eagle Fly”

I saw the video this morning, memories flashed, I found my notes. This is for all the heroes including victims and families. Sending out big hugs.  

9/11/01

Notes I made as horror unfolds.

The face of America and the free world has changed. America is under attack by terrorist. Four planes hijacked, two planes crashed in to both World Trade Center buildings. Not long after a plane crashed in to Pentagon and one crashed in field in Pennsylvania. Both towers fell to ruble, a shocking sight. As the buildings crash the air looked like a volcano. Fatalities are high. The fire’s rage on at Pentagon. We learned plane crashed in PA targeting White House. Airforce One possible target, no information on how.

The second day airspace locked down. The reaction from around the world is amazing. Even China has provided their support in the event of war. We have committed to use what ever means we have to fight terrorist. Bomb threat for Empire State, bomb dogs picked up a positive reading. Manhattan is a war zone. Several buildings evacuated, no other incidents.

I’m embarrassed by the people who deface Mosque.

So many not displaying flag.

Doesn’t seem right to turn television off. It’s so hard to process what happened this week.

What’s financial impact, how devastating ?

I heard my first helicopter since Tuesday. My mind flashed, how would Dallas respond? Do we have the protection needed?

It’s been a week, so much accomplished. No one found alive since last Wednesday.

9/17/01

Troops on alert including reservist. 5,432 people still missing. Afghanistan has launched a Holy War. What’s Holy about war?

9/19/01

The war is now called Operation Infinite Justice. The order signed for troops to move, no details. As many as 150 aircraft staging. Tomorrow ground troops get orders.

9/20/01

It is hard to watch families say goodbye as troops head out.

 

Moving Forward · Survivor

How Keeping a Mood Chart Saved My Life

When I started seeing my Psychopharmacologist almost 16 years ago he intimidated me. He’s not a chipper guy and it took years to see through his shell. I was in a very dark place and spiraling down. I didn’t think he understood how depressed I was. Psychiatrist are different from therapist in how they schedule their time unless your Psych is also your therapist. He only provides medication management, 20 minutes at most. So we had a couple of frustrating meetings. I didn’t know how to reach him, I didn’t know doctor talk. He is one of the best in Texas and finding a Psychopharmacologist is difficult, I wasn’t walking away. During another frustrating meeting he left the room to talk to a therapist he worked with. He did me the biggest favor and no doubt saved my life. I sat down with the therapist expressing my frustration getting thru to him. They had worked together for 13 years, she provided some insight to his personality and how best to communicate with him. She drew a chart and we talked about how depressed I was. She repeated back to make sure she was on track and then gave me the chart. At that time I was rapid cycling, adjusting to meds and didn’t think I was improving. The Mood Chart brought our communication on the same page. I liked the log because it gave me an opportunity to show how I was cycling or any other significant change. I took out a journal and started keep a daily log of the chart and any info about my state of mind. It gave me an opportunity to see exactly what was happening at any give time or day, look for trends, triggers, side effect notes. I wanted to share the chart for those struggling with their mental illness and/or expressing it to the doctor. Once we were on the same page, he was able to give me the help I needed. It’s interesting to go back year after year and look for cycles or triggers. I would suggest a larger sheet of paper to give room for notes. If you have questions let me know. I’m including the definition of Psychopharmacologist. I suffered with my Bipolar Disorder for years until I found the right type of doctor.

Psychopharmacology:  is the scientific study of the effects drugs have on mood, sensation, thinking, and behavior.The field of psychopharmacology studies a wide range of substances with various types of psychoactive properties, focusing primarily on the chemical interactions with the brain.Psychoactive drugs interact with particular target sites or receptors found in the nervous system to induce widespread changes in physiological or psychological functions. The specific interaction between drugs and their receptors is referred to as “drug action”, and the widespread changes in physiological or psychological function is referred to as “drug effect”. These drugs may originate from natural sources such as plants and animals, or from artificial sources such as chemical synthesis in the laboratory.

Warrior

Depression Mood Chart
Depression Mood Chart
Moving Forward · Survivor

WOW! Most Influential Blogger Award Feat. John Mayer

 Don’t care for John Mayer? He may change your mind before the video is over. Admit he is a guitar hero? He is so badass, how can anyone other than EC play like that. Watch the entire video, the last couple of minutes will blow your mind. If you like jamming guitar work. They are in Rio (sweaty) and the fans are great. Don’t get confused by his Japanese pants. If you want to cut the WOW, it’s starts about 5:50 minutes. He looks high, I’ve never seen him do the head swagger. I play Gravity at least once a day. No matter what my mood Gravity always get me jamming, singing and playing air guitar. My husband makes me shut the door, says my singing voice needs some practice. I look forward seeing the videos chosen, a wild mix I’m sure.    Warrior

Most Influential Blogger Award

On June 4th, my CTC sister Persia from Blog of a Mad Black Woman nominated me for the Most Influential Blogger Award. I’m truly grateful for the recognition from fellow Cut Throat Club member. I will pass to worthy nominees who will keep the passion alive. Big hugs Persia. I respect your strength and highly recommend nominees to stop by, Blog of a Mad Black Women http://persiakarema.wordpress.com. Congrats to all!

I’ve nominated Blogs who write from the heart and will carry the torch proudly 

Still working on graphic code for badge. If you find one on your own that’s great. The ones I’m using don’t work.

http://davidkanigan.com  

**Blog: Live and Learn

http://carissaprovenzano.wordpress.com

**Blog: Carrisa’s World

http://dwhinson56.wordpress.com  

**Blog: Willy Nilly To & Fro      

http://maureenoblog.wordpress.com    

**Blog: CoCo Blaq

http://photopaulm.com    

**Blog: Paul Militaru     

http://afsheenanjum.wordpress.com

**Blog: Dreams to Reality!

http://findinghopessunshine.wordpress.com              

http://alygeorges.wordpress.com                                                   

http://gottafindahome.wordpress.com

Rules for accepting award:

**Thank the person who nominated you. **To accept the award, nominees must display Badge on Blog site. **Announce 10 deserving bloggers via a post on your site **Include video of current Favorite song. On YouTube you can cut and paste. **Notify nominees via comments section their nomination with link back.

Moving Forward · Survivor

Non-Violent 1st Time Drug Offender Spends *Life in Jail Without Parole*

 Change.org

 There’s a new petition taking off on Change.org, and we think you might be interested in signing it:

My name is Heather Minor and on February 6, 2001, when I was 7 years old, my life took a horrible turn when my father was sentenced to life in prison for a nonviolent drug offense. Without clemency from President Obama, he will die in prison.

When my father, Ricky Minor, was given his sentence I didn’t realize I was about to begin a journey that would become a new “normal” way of life for me – growing up without a father. Even though my dad was a first time nonviolent drug offender, under mandatory minimum sentencing laws he was sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole. On that same day, my mother was also arrested. My whole world as I knew it was completely destroyed. At the age of seven, both of my parents were taken away from me, and from that point forward I was raised by my elderly grandparents.

I am now 21 years old, the first in my family to graduate from high school, and taking additional classes to improve my life. However, while I am trying to make the best of my life, the realization that my father will die alone in prison is too much for me to fathom. My father was suffering from a drug addiction and trying to cope with it. He was not some “big time” drug dealer, but an addict struggling to support his habit who was a victim of an overly harsh and inflexible mandatory sentencing structure.

Even the sentencing federal judge hesitated to impose the life sentence. As my dad said at his hearing, “rapists, murderers and child molesters will be set free before me…where is the justice in that?”

My dad has now served over 14 years of his sentence – most of it over 700 miles from my home. I have grown from a small child to an adult only seeing him once or twice a year due to limited funds for travel and taxing health issues of my grandparents. The only opportunity I had to form a relationship with my dad was through weekly phone calls and occasional letters. It is heartbreaking.

I just want a chance to get to know my dad like every other daughter. Even though I know and he knows what he did was wrong, I think he has served more than enough to compensate for the crime he committed. He has paid the price of his crimes…but so have I, and I didn’t do anything wrong other than be a victim of parents with a drug addiction. He has completely rehabilitated himself by obtaining his GED, furthering his education, drug free and very health conscious including his diet and physical activities.

You can go to Change.org and sign online. Thanks. 

Warrior

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Moving Forward · Survivor · Trauma

Dating Violence, Stabbed 32 Times and Survives

By MELISSA DOHME CBS NEWS May 30, 2014, 2:15 PM

48 Hours: Dating violence survivor tells story

My name is Melissa Dohme. I am twenty-two years old and I live in Clearwater, Florida. On January 24, 2012, I found myself surrounded with family, covered in bandages, connected to machines, with tubes down my throat, praying and thanking God for saving my life. Hours before this moment I was lying alone in the road outside my home, covered in blood, taking what I thought would be my last breath. I had just been viciously attacked, beaten, and stabbed 32 times. How could this happen?

Looking back three years prior, I remember the exact moment I met this extremely charming, sweet, and funny guy named Robert Burton. When we started dating, everything was perfect, but as I prepared for my high school graduation, things began to change. Robert became extremely jealous, controlling, and short-tempered. I was going through verbal and emotional abuse throughout our two-year relationship without knowing it was abuse. The violence turned physical in the last few months, and by then I felt completely trapped. He would tell me if I was to leave or tell anyone about the abuse, he would kill me, my family, and himself. He began attempting suicide to scare me, but would stop and threaten me with weapons to prove he was serious.

One night, I had the opportunity, courage, and strength to run away and call the police–and finally, Robert was arrested for domestic battery. I felt my shackles of shame and fear release and I could safely end the relationship. After three months of peace and healing, Robert began calling me repeatedly in the middle of the night. He had one request–a hug. He was crying and said, “After all we have been through, I just need closure to move on after the terrible end to our relationship.” He promised to leave me alone forever if I just met him for a hug.

I ignored my intuition and walked outside. I was immediately ambushed. 19 stabs to my head, neck, and face; 13 stabs to my hands and arms in an attempt to defend myself. Two teens nearby heard me screaming, attempted to intervene, and called 911. I owe my life to these two angels. Once Robert believed he succeeded in taking my life, he drove away and attempted suicide. We were both saved that night, and thankfully, he is now serving a life sentence with no chance of parole.

When first responders arrived, I was alert enough to identify myself and him, despite hemorrhaging severely from cut arteries in my neck. I was airlifted to the hospital where I flat-lined four times, received twelve units of blood, suffered a stroke in my cerebellum, had a fractured skull, nose, and jaw with missing teeth, facial paralysis, stabbed larynx, and was severely beaten. It’s a miracle I am still alive today — even the doctors say so. I know God saved me, He couldn’t stop what happened but He did perfectly line up each individual after the attack who had a hand in saving my life.

I believe I was saved to tell my story. Through my faith I learned to accept, forgive, and move on. I realized I was given a voice for those who are too afraid to speak or no longer have the chance because their abuser succeeded in taking their life. I was saved to educate teenagers of the dangers of dating violence. When I was in high school, no one spoke about dating violence and if they had, I firmly believe I would have never gone through what I did. Following that horrific night, I felt the conviction to speak out, become an advocate, and create change. I now work as domestic violence advocate for a local non-profit organization, Hands Across the Bay, where and every day is a blessing.

——-

Melissa is a true hero. She turned the horrific events of that night to a mission to educate others. I would be proud to meet her and thank her. She will save someone’s  life with her efforts. She is courageous, embodies strength and a passion to help. I would hug her for turning the pain into a positive and not living with a resentful heart. Melissa is a special person. Stories like Melissa’s keep my past pain in perspective reminding me how blessed I am. 

Warrior

Repost from 2014

Moving Forward · Survivor

Get the Media out of the Trenches!

Post written 2/7/06

It’s relevant today as the day written. Time to dust it off. Let’s hear what you think.

This week several journalist, American and Iraqi soldiers died in an attack while outside their vehicle doing an interview. Journalist Bob Woodruf isn’t even back to work from his brush with death and now a competing station loses several employees. Media giants will do anything to boost ratings and bottom line. If employees and soldiers have to die, it’s the cost of doing business. One of the top female journalist was gang raped in Egypt, being pulled by each limb. She later said thoughts of being pulled apart crossed her mind. Then put on a happy face and went right back to Egypt. How can we set back and accept this? How can the CEO of these corporations live with blood on their hands? How can shareholders not hold them accountable? It is a shame profits drive them to allow journalist to make a decision to put their life in danger.

The military shares responsibility, now is time to review policy on the sheer number of journalist on the ground, embedded with troops and reporting from hot zones. Journalist have chronicled wars from behind the lens for years. It is important to have the current news today and for history.You’re not casting the next Reality Show. It’s war or hot zone, journalist are endangering the lives of soldiers, locals and themselves. It is a ratings war that can only be won by someone losing a life.

This is REALITY and journalist need to get out-of-the-way and let our soldiers do what they trained to do and come home alive not do interviews in a hot zone.

Warrior

Men & Womens Health · Moving Forward · Survivor

Washington Doesn't Want to Talk About Vaginas

Jaha Dukureh is a survivor, driven with incredible inner strength. This article is a great follow-up to the post I wrote on Female Genital Mutilation. 

This is the worst form of abuse on children and women. I can appreciate bringing traditions when moving to America. Female Genital Mutilation is a tradition not excepted in America. The violence and violation of children and women is illegal, not a tradition America has ever followed and is inhumane. Most people are not familiar with Female Genital Mutilation, now is a good time to educate yourself and others. Jaha’s clitoris and labia removed and her vagina stitched leaving only a small hole to urinate and menstruate. Sex is very painful.This procedure is Type 3 FGM. It is a long post but please read her brave and motivating story. Please sign the petition on Change.org. She is a survivor and want’s to teach Americans what to do to stop FGM in America. The Futures Without Violence website http://exchange.futureswithoutviolence.org is a great resource to offer support and educate. 

From the Futures Without Violence Website.

Jaha Dukureh: ‘In Washington, they don’t want to talk about Vaginas’

An Atlanta woman who is a survivor of female genital mutilation is leading a campaign for the US to take action on a brutal practice happening in its own backyard. Jaha Dukureh does not give up easily. When, aged just 15, she was sent to New York from Gambia for an arranged marriage, it looked like her dream of getting an education was over. But she refused to stop trying.

“I went to school after school, begging them to let me join, but because I didn’t have my parents with me they said I couldn’t enrol,” she says. “At the last school I just told them I was all on my own, and I sat in the principal’s office and cried until finally they gave in.” Within days, she had joined the class. “You don’t even know how happy that made me. I was so excited just to sit in class and learn,” she says.

Now Jaha is facing a new challenge: trying to help bring an end to female genital mutilation, otherwise known as FGM, in the US. The 24-year-old mother of three, who now lives in Atlanta, went through the practice – which involves removing some or all of a girl’s outer sexual organs – when she was only a week old. But she knows many girls who, despite being born and raised in the United States, were taken as children back to their family’s country to be cut and hears stories that cutters are also at work on American soil.

“FGM is not something that is happening in a far away place. It is happening here to American girls,” she says. “When these kids are being sent back they are told they are going to meet their families. Often the parents are not to blame, they take their kids back home and it can be done without your permission, you go out and come back to a mutilated child.”

Sign the petition to end female genital mutilation in the US
Ask President Obama to take the essential first step of commissioning a report to establish how many American women and girls are at risk of female genital mutilation. Experts say this is the first step in tackling a crime that persists despite legislation. UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon is backing the campaign saying FGM is a “human rights violation” that must end. Show your support

Change.org Petition to end FGM
After hearing about the campaign of British schoolgirl Fahma Mohamed – who headed a successful Guardian-backed campaign to get more education about FGM in schools – Jaha started a petition on the campaigning website Change.org. She is calling for a new study to find out just how many girls and women are affected by FGM in the US, as the first step to forming a national action plan to tackle the brutal practice.

“There is such a culture of silence about FGM in America. If you stand up and say ‘This happened to me’, people will scrutinise you, but someone has to stand up and say, this can’t go on happening. This is a human rights abuse and it has to stop,” she says.

A culture of silence and fear around the subject – coupled with public apathy and lack of awareness – has allowed the practice to continue under the radar, she says. “When people come to this country they bring their traditions with them – they eat the same food, dress in the same way – what makes people think that they won’t continue with FGM?” she asks. “Yes it’s a cultural issue but I’m from this culture and I am saying, this is not to our benefit. This is abuse.”

Jaha has already spent her life challenging accepted cultural norms. As one of five girls and three boys, she grew up in Gambia and was among the first girls in her family to go to school. “Some family members would complain because instead of coming home and learning to be a woman, I’d be in talent shows and after-school classes,” she says. “My mom was so proud of me, she would sell clothes or take African products to the UK to sell so she could pay my school fees. She wanted me to become a doctor.”

But when she was in 7th grade her mother was diagnosed with cancer. Unable to find treatment in Gambia she went to the UK, taking Jaha with her. “She wanted me to go to school, but it just wasn’t possible, so when I was 14, I just spent all my time going back and forth to hospital.” When her mother was told she had three months to live, she sent Jaha back home. “She didn’t want me to see her die.”

On her return, without a mother to protect her, she was told she had to go to New York to marry a man in his 40s. Still just 15 when she arrived, she soon found out that not only had she gone through FGM as a child, she had been subjected to the most extreme form. Jaha had type 3 FGM, where the clitoris and labia are removed before the girl is stitched together, leaving only a very small hole to urinate and menstruate.

“I went through days and weeks of excruciating pain when [my husband] was trying to have sex with me,” she says. She was taken to a doctor in Manhattan who opened her vagina, and told her she had to have sex that day or the wound would close again. “This happened in America, it was like I went through the FGM all over again.”

When the marriage broke down, Jaha refused to stay with her husband and was taken in by family members. Without anyone to vouch for her, she went to 10 different schools where she was told her she could not be enrolled without a guardian’s consent, before the 11th agreed. “I went to school during the day and waitresses in Harlem in the evening for lunch money and clothes,” she said. “But you know, I went to the prom. I saved up and I bought my prom dress, I got a date, I was a real American girl.”

When she was 17 she moved to Atlanta to be married for a second time. “I was very lucky because my husband understands my passion for education and he is the best dad for my kids I could ask for,” she says. She finished high school and put herself through college, and started work as a bank teller. In three and a half years she has been promoted three times and now works as a personal banker. “When people ask where I am from, I say I’m a Georgia peach,” she says. “This is home now. There are so many opportunities here and there is no way that girls should miss out on that because of FGM. That does not sit well with me.”

Her campaign has not been easy. After she spoke publicly for the first time, Jaha suffered immediate and severe backlash. “People called my husband, my sister, my dad. They said I wanted to get people locked up, break up families – but that is not my message,” she says. Jaha’s husband and father both respect her decision to lead the campaign, as hard as it may be and she refuses to be scared into submission. “Whatever they do, I am not afraid. They are not going to make me stop. The safety of our daughters is more important than that”.

Between looking after her young family and working as a personal banker she tours schools, colleges and community groups to talk about the dangers of FGM , and with other survivors has set up a foundation called Safe Hands for Girls.

But now she is taking her campaign to the top by asking for better data on FGM in the United States and as a first step to creating a national action plan to train educators, health professionals and police – and give survivors a safe place to seek help.

“In Washington they don’t want to talk about Vaginas, they don’t want to hear about this issue and they don’t want to address it,” she says. “Sometimes, I feel is Washington afraid to tackle FGM, are they scared of it?”

She is determined to keep fighting until FGM is recognised as a real risk for American girls and policies are put in place to protect them. “I don’t want to be poster child. I want every woman who has been through this to be able to speak out,” she says. “But you know, in every revolution one person has to stand up to be counted, then other people follow. Right now everyone is turning a blind eye and pretending nothing is wrong – but once we stand up together, they won’t be able to ignore us any more.”

Warrior

Men & Womens Health · Moving Forward · Survivor

Washington Doesn’t Want to Talk About Vaginas

Jaha Dukureh is a survivor, driven with incredible inner strength. This article is a great follow-up to the post I wrote on Female Genital Mutilation. 

This is the worst form of abuse on children and women. I can appreciate bringing traditions when moving to America. Female Genital Mutilation is a tradition not excepted in America. The violence and violation of children and women is illegal, not a tradition America has ever followed and is inhumane. Most people are not familiar with Female Genital Mutilation, now is a good time to educate yourself and others. Jaha’s clitoris and labia removed and her vagina stitched leaving only a small hole to urinate and menstruate. Sex is very painful.This procedure is Type 3 FGM. It is a long post but please read her brave and motivating story. Please sign the petition on Change.org. She is a survivor and want’s to teach Americans what to do to stop FGM in America. The Futures Without Violence website http://exchange.futureswithoutviolence.org is a great resource to offer support and educate. 

From the Futures Without Violence Website.

Jaha Dukureh: ‘In Washington, they don’t want to talk about Vaginas’

An Atlanta woman who is a survivor of female genital mutilation is leading a campaign for the US to take action on a brutal practice happening in its own backyard. Jaha Dukureh does not give up easily. When, aged just 15, she was sent to New York from Gambia for an arranged marriage, it looked like her dream of getting an education was over. But she refused to stop trying.

“I went to school after school, begging them to let me join, but because I didn’t have my parents with me they said I couldn’t enrol,” she says. “At the last school I just told them I was all on my own, and I sat in the principal’s office and cried until finally they gave in.” Within days, she had joined the class. “You don’t even know how happy that made me. I was so excited just to sit in class and learn,” she says.

Now Jaha is facing a new challenge: trying to help bring an end to female genital mutilation, otherwise known as FGM, in the US. The 24-year-old mother of three, who now lives in Atlanta, went through the practice – which involves removing some or all of a girl’s outer sexual organs – when she was only a week old. But she knows many girls who, despite being born and raised in the United States, were taken as children back to their family’s country to be cut and hears stories that cutters are also at work on American soil.

“FGM is not something that is happening in a far away place. It is happening here to American girls,” she says. “When these kids are being sent back they are told they are going to meet their families. Often the parents are not to blame, they take their kids back home and it can be done without your permission, you go out and come back to a mutilated child.”

Sign the petition to end female genital mutilation in the US
Ask President Obama to take the essential first step of commissioning a report to establish how many American women and girls are at risk of female genital mutilation. Experts say this is the first step in tackling a crime that persists despite legislation. UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon is backing the campaign saying FGM is a “human rights violation” that must end. Show your support

Change.org Petition to end FGM
After hearing about the campaign of British schoolgirl Fahma Mohamed – who headed a successful Guardian-backed campaign to get more education about FGM in schools – Jaha started a petition on the campaigning website Change.org. She is calling for a new study to find out just how many girls and women are affected by FGM in the US, as the first step to forming a national action plan to tackle the brutal practice.

“There is such a culture of silence about FGM in America. If you stand up and say ‘This happened to me’, people will scrutinise you, but someone has to stand up and say, this can’t go on happening. This is a human rights abuse and it has to stop,” she says.

A culture of silence and fear around the subject – coupled with public apathy and lack of awareness – has allowed the practice to continue under the radar, she says. “When people come to this country they bring their traditions with them – they eat the same food, dress in the same way – what makes people think that they won’t continue with FGM?” she asks. “Yes it’s a cultural issue but I’m from this culture and I am saying, this is not to our benefit. This is abuse.”

Jaha has already spent her life challenging accepted cultural norms. As one of five girls and three boys, she grew up in Gambia and was among the first girls in her family to go to school. “Some family members would complain because instead of coming home and learning to be a woman, I’d be in talent shows and after-school classes,” she says. “My mom was so proud of me, she would sell clothes or take African products to the UK to sell so she could pay my school fees. She wanted me to become a doctor.”

But when she was in 7th grade her mother was diagnosed with cancer. Unable to find treatment in Gambia she went to the UK, taking Jaha with her. “She wanted me to go to school, but it just wasn’t possible, so when I was 14, I just spent all my time going back and forth to hospital.” When her mother was told she had three months to live, she sent Jaha back home. “She didn’t want me to see her die.”

On her return, without a mother to protect her, she was told she had to go to New York to marry a man in his 40s. Still just 15 when she arrived, she soon found out that not only had she gone through FGM as a child, she had been subjected to the most extreme form. Jaha had type 3 FGM, where the clitoris and labia are removed before the girl is stitched together, leaving only a very small hole to urinate and menstruate.

“I went through days and weeks of excruciating pain when [my husband] was trying to have sex with me,” she says. She was taken to a doctor in Manhattan who opened her vagina, and told her she had to have sex that day or the wound would close again. “This happened in America, it was like I went through the FGM all over again.”

When the marriage broke down, Jaha refused to stay with her husband and was taken in by family members. Without anyone to vouch for her, she went to 10 different schools where she was told her she could not be enrolled without a guardian’s consent, before the 11th agreed. “I went to school during the day and waitresses in Harlem in the evening for lunch money and clothes,” she said. “But you know, I went to the prom. I saved up and I bought my prom dress, I got a date, I was a real American girl.”

When she was 17 she moved to Atlanta to be married for a second time. “I was very lucky because my husband understands my passion for education and he is the best dad for my kids I could ask for,” she says. She finished high school and put herself through college, and started work as a bank teller. In three and a half years she has been promoted three times and now works as a personal banker. “When people ask where I am from, I say I’m a Georgia peach,” she says. “This is home now. There are so many opportunities here and there is no way that girls should miss out on that because of FGM. That does not sit well with me.”

Her campaign has not been easy. After she spoke publicly for the first time, Jaha suffered immediate and severe backlash. “People called my husband, my sister, my dad. They said I wanted to get people locked up, break up families – but that is not my message,” she says. Jaha’s husband and father both respect her decision to lead the campaign, as hard as it may be and she refuses to be scared into submission. “Whatever they do, I am not afraid. They are not going to make me stop. The safety of our daughters is more important than that”.

Between looking after her young family and working as a personal banker she tours schools, colleges and community groups to talk about the dangers of FGM , and with other survivors has set up a foundation called Safe Hands for Girls.

But now she is taking her campaign to the top by asking for better data on FGM in the United States and as a first step to creating a national action plan to train educators, health professionals and police – and give survivors a safe place to seek help.

“In Washington they don’t want to talk about Vaginas, they don’t want to hear about this issue and they don’t want to address it,” she says. “Sometimes, I feel is Washington afraid to tackle FGM, are they scared of it?”

She is determined to keep fighting until FGM is recognised as a real risk for American girls and policies are put in place to protect them. “I don’t want to be poster child. I want every woman who has been through this to be able to speak out,” she says. “But you know, in every revolution one person has to stand up to be counted, then other people follow. Right now everyone is turning a blind eye and pretending nothing is wrong – but once we stand up together, they won’t be able to ignore us any more.”

Warrior

Moving Forward · Survivor

Brave Heart Award

The Brave Heart Mission Statement

To encourage all those (men & women) who have been abused (all abuse) to share their hope with others so that they will no longer be a victim but a survivor that knows they are loved.

 

A Victims Journal nominated me for the Brave Heart Award. There are not enough words to express how helpful, positive and inspiring she is to me. I admire her raw and honest post. The feedback she gives is no less raw. Her sixth sense of knowing when you need a boost or a little prodding helps keep me on track. I feel like she reads all of my post and always has a hug and positive affirmation.

 Rules of Acceptance:
Thank the person who nominated you.
Answer 12 questions put before you.
Nominate/award 12 bloggers.
Notify nominees/awardees with a link to their blogs on yours.

12 Questions Asked

1.Tell us a bit about your blog. Who designed it

The blog is an avenue to tell my story of physical, emotional and sexual abuse. I believe it also serves as a resource for men & women alike. I used a Word Press template and designed myself.

2. What is the title and description of your blog?

Looking for the Light is my blog which focuses on my story of abuse  and Mental Illness.

3. Who is your intended audience?

Anyone who has suffered trauma. I believe we can all help each other.

4. How did you come up with the title of your blog?

I’m Bipolar and in my worst times it gets very dark.  It sounded positive and I thought others could relate.

5. Give us an interesting fun fact about your blog.

One of the greatest rewards of blogging is meeting people from around the world.

6. What other blogs do you own and what makes them alike?

I have two inactive blogs. Life Full of Memories and Defining Memories. The blogs include photography and the challenges of being a caregiver to my grandparents. When I decided to blog about abuse and Mental Illness I wanted a fresh start.

7. Do you have any unique talents or hobbies?       

I’m very curious. You will find books on totally unrelated topics in my bookcase.

8. How can we contact you or find out more about your blog?

http://lookingforthelight.me

9. What can we expect from you in the future?

More honest, no holding back post and offering a hand when possible.

10. What can readers who enjoy your blog do to help make your blog more successful?

Ask questions, leave good relies and keep coming back. ReBlog post that can help their followers.

11. Do you have any tips for readers or advice for other writers/bloggers?

Be honest and keep writing what you care about.

12. Before you go, could you share a snippet from your blog?

9 Year Old  Living in Hell

My brother and I called our stepfather a Nazi because he was mostly German and he would beat our mother unmercifully daily. Her crimes as we knew them were not having dinner ready or not warm enough. The kids were to loud, noise was not allowed in the house, he was an alcoholic with major control issues. I was 9 years old, my brother six & half years old and our two-step brothers where much younger. 

Here are my nominees/awardees:

  Please check out each our nominees blog, I’m sure you will learn, laugh or cry.

http://teelahart.com

http:/dietrying999.wordpress.com    Blog: Unspoken Truth

http://armyofangels.wordpress.com

http://brokenarrow.wordpress.com

http://sedge808.com    Blog:Nior

http://frombehindcloseddoors

http://davidkanigan.com    Blog: Live & Learn

http://ellebellblog.wordpress.com

http://hopeinhealingblog.wordpress.com    Blog: More than Skin Deep

http://despairtodeliverance.com

http://rosierdoyle.wordpress.com    Blog:From Behind Closed Doors 

http://dwhinson56.wordpress.com   Blog: Willy Nilly To and Fro

 

Warrior

Moving Forward · Survivor

Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network (RAINN) Monthly Update

Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network        

RAINN MONTHLY UPDATE

http://RAINN.ORG

Online Help – 1.800.656.HOPE (4673) RAINN: The nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization.
One of “America’s 100 Best Charities” -Worth magazine

House Votes to Renew DNA Bill
A bill to renew the Debbie Smith Act, which would help eliminate the backlog of untested DNA evidence from unsolved rape cases, was passed by the House of Representatives.

Learn More on Website
RAINN Teams Up with Degrassi to Help Teens.
TV show Degrassi included a storyline that followed the aftermath of an alcohol-facilitated sexual assault and its impact on the school. In conjunction with the episode, TeenNick aired a PSA that encouraged viewers to get help from the National Sexual Assault Hotline.

Learn More on Website
Survivor Spotlight: Stories of Support
This month, survivors share how loved ones helped them on their paths toward hope and healing
How You Can Support a Friend This Month
If you or someone you love has been assaulted, it’s crucial to have a support system in place. A new series of infographics shares ways you can be supportive.

Learn more on Website

Anniversary of ‘Speak’ Connects with New Generation. RAINN and publishing house Macmillan bring Laurie Halse Anderson’s “Speak” to a new generation of young readers. Learn more about the #Speak4RAINN15 campaign and how a $15 donation can help a survivor today.

Warrior

Moving Forward

Mariel Hemingway presents "Running From Crazy"

Mariel Hemingway is the granddaughter of Ernest Hemingway. Mariel’s documentary explores her famous family’s history with Mental Illness and heartbreaking suicides. Premiering on the OWN network this Sunday at 9:00pm EST. I would double-check the start time. Information about the documentary including start times is probably on OWN’s website. Their family has faced generations of Mental Illness. Mariel is straight forward  about her fears and the past. It looks very interesting, I’ll watch or record it.

Warrior

Moving Forward

Mariel Hemingway presents “Running From Crazy”

Mariel Hemingway is the granddaughter of Ernest Hemingway. Mariel’s documentary explores her famous family’s history with Mental Illness and heartbreaking suicides. Premiering on the OWN network this Sunday at 9:00pm EST. I would double-check the start time. Information about the documentary including start times is probably on OWN’s website. Their family has faced generations of Mental Illness. Mariel is straight forward  about her fears and the past. It looks very interesting, I’ll watch or record it.

Warrior

Moving Forward · Survivor

NO MORE George R.R. Martin

NO MORE EXCUSES MEANS NO MORE EXCUSES. 

It doesn’t mean Television & Cable Networks get a pass. George R.R. Martin of Game of Thorns doesn’t agree. The cliffhanger last week named Breaker of Chains was an INCESTUOUS RAPE SCENE. One viewer said “it was the most disturbing scene ever”. At first George gave lip service saying it wasn’t RAPE which quickly turned to an apology when the Network was inundated with negative feedback. Every news/magazine outlet hit the story hard. One viewer did a rewrite of how the sence should have played out and printed by a major media outlet. This is an opportunity to educate the media on what we do and don’t want to see. If we believe RAPE and other VIOLENCE is wrong, we have to stand up. Until we make our voices heard the cycle continues.

Warrior

Moving Forward · Survivor

NO MORE EXCUSES

No More Silence. No More Violence.

Tune in for the NO MORE Excuses SVU Marathon This Sunday on USA  The link will take you to information about event and how you can help. There’s an extensive list of resources. Mariska Hargitay who plays a cop on SVU, gives a special address. Mariska started the Joyful Heart Foundation in 2004 with the mission to help heal, educate and empower survivors of sexual assault, domestic violence and child abuse. NO MORE and End the Backlog are featured programs of the Joyful Heart Foundation.

KNOW THE FACTS

The next time you’re in a room with 6 people, think about this:

1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men experience violence from their partners in their lifetimes.
1 in 3 teens experience sexual or physical abuse or threats from a boyfriend or girlfriend in one year.
1 in 5 women are survivors of rape.
1 in 2 women and 1 in 5 men have experienced some form of sexual violence in their lives.
1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men were sexually abused before the age of 18.

Warrior

Moving Forward

Where I Surf and Blog

Where I surf and blog.
Where I surf and blog.

This is where I start my day, you can see I’m on the organized side. My office would be perfect if I didn’t have three animals in there. They are like children either fighting or having a melt down. Life could be so much worse. Truly I know how blessed I am. I like to buy all kinds of cool things for the office, that way I don’t get bored. This is very close to the office of my dreams. I like it that way because I have to dream. Maybe someday I’ll get that expansive office with built-in wall to wall bookcases. You know a little more about me and a person’s desk says it all. Have an awesome day.

Warrior

 

Moving Forward

Stations of the Cross

 On the third day
ON THE THIRD DAY

This post does not preach or try to convert anyone of any religion. It’s the story of my intersection with the Catholic Church at 13 years old. In my recent post “I Almost Killed My Father” I told of spending a year at a Convent for bad girls. It is here I became familiar to the Catholic Religion. Growing up we did not go to church. I would go with any family who would take me. During the first three months in the Convent you were not allowed to go home and had to attend Mass on Sundays. The Mass services were different from anything I had seen before. Being an easily bored teenager prompted me to ask lots of questions. I started going to Mass every morning at 7:00 a.m.to watch the rituals. It was not a religious journey at this time. More of a learning experience and a way to keep me out of trouble. As far back as I can remember my mother told me I was stupid, retarded and had a low IQ. I did not know this was emotional abuse, it was just the norm. My grandparents worked hard to convince me I could do anything I put my mind to. Off track but worth noting, this is where my Miss America story comes from. I loved beauty pageants as a little girl and watched many with my gramps. He said if I want to be Miss America I could. It’s a story you’ll hear again. As it turned out the affirmation stuck. Back on track. Being at the Convent was good for me, I was away from the abuse of both parents. It was the first time my teachers would ask me what I thought. I became a sponge. There were a couple of people on the campus other than the nuns. My counselor was a PhD. in Philosophy, as tall as lurch and I thought he was the smartest person in the world. He saw my interest loaned me books on Philosophy. My mind had cracks open and we would talk about the books for hours at a time. I was in awe, read poetry by people I had not heard of. Philosophy wasn’t in my vocabulary. I started a newspaper for the school, me the kid who wouldn’t amount too much. My grandparents were the only people who gave me positive affirmations. Starved for positive feedback and learning provided a foundation of leadership. Father George spent an hour everyday trying to teach this tone def kid. He smelled like cigarettes and mold. I ask him questions about the church as they came to mind, probably to shorten the lesson. The affirmations about being smart started sinking in. I was given more responsibility and privileges as time went on. The nuns and staff were devout Catholics and would share information if asked. The convent was huge sitting at the top on a large piece of land, it was over 100 years old. I was studying to become a Catholic at this point. My counselor and Father George instructed me. There was a small chapel on the grounds used mostly by the nuns. One afternoon Father George took me to the smaller chapel to learn The Stations of the Cross. We walked around while he told me the story and why it was important.

Looking back it was one of the first decisions I made. I believe the big decision to convert to a Catholic propelled me in an upward motion. I didn’t want to be told how stupid I was ever again. Father George baptized and confirmed me before leaving. My grandparents came to watch. It was a special time for me in many ways I did not know yet. I leave and go to live with my grandparents. I went to church until 19 years old. The service one Sunday talked about adultery. To make sure I heard the priest correctly, I ask him specifically about adultery applying to someone who remarried. I didn’t enter a Catholic Church for over 20 years. Ok, what about the stations of the cross you ask. During a very dark time I started listening to the bible and programs on television. The Stations of the Cross had left my memory a long time ago. I couldn’t recall any of Stations and did a search to read them. The Stations of the Cross is not a Catholic thing, it’s a Jesus thing. I will butcher the correct way to explain but I’ll give it a go. The Stations are twelve significant events starting with Jesus being condemned to death. I was praying all the time for help with my depression. The Ninth Station is when Jesus falls a third time. I thought about it for a long time, then knew I could get up. Nothing magic, it could have been any of them. The Convent provided me a priceless education and the beginning of my life without abuse.

Warrior