I’m so glad you’ve joined me this week for another edition of Weekend Music Share.
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share; the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the ‘Weekend Music Share‘ banner in your post, and don’t forget to use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
I was gifted a copy of Down But Not Out by Mat Desforges from Soraya Nair at Cherish Editions for an honest review. Thank you Soraya.
About the Author
“Mat Desforges is a dad, husband, brother, son, friend, acquaintance. Just like many of us are or will be. Mat grew up in Dorset and was educated there as well as in Devon and France before moving to London and Guernsey after university. He then travelled and worked abroad before settling back in Guernsey for many years with his wife and now his two sons.
He has worked in a variety of roles in the commercial sector, government and regulation. At the time of publishing, he is travelling with his family on what the kids have called a “global family adventure.” This pause from normal family life was partly inspired by the experiences he recounts in Down… but NOT Out, his first book. While away he is working on a second book.”
Excerpt From: Mat Desforges. “Down… But NOT Out.” Apple Books.
Blurb
“This book is for everyone who feels low at some time, whatever the reason. It is also for the lucky few who don’t feel like this. Hopefully they can understand, support and be there for the rest of us. The sun does come out again.”
My Thoughts
Excerpt From: Mat Desforges. “Down… But NOT Out.” Apple Books.
“My impatience and inability to relax and take stock (again, all things that I feel had contributed to my negative feelings) were, yet again, getting the better of me. And I had more time to do these things now!! My days were busy, I was shattered, and I wasn’t improving. I was very up and down.
This came to a head when I was looking at my lists and felt my stress and negativity rushing back. But I have to do all these things to get better, was all I thought. I then shared these feelings and lists with a couple of people and they looked at me with that knowing eye. “Just stop,” was what their facial expression was saying, but I couldn’t see it. They had to spell it out. They told me to stop and to take a rest. A proper rest. This was going to take a while to resolve.”
After Mat had his mental health break in the electronics store he thought a short bit of treatment and a list of all the things he needed to accomplish would get him better only to find it was digging him a bigger hole. Luckily he had friends to share his feelings with and they helped him see where he was going off course. Mat is mission-oriented and that can get the better of him, healing and getting back on your feet is a process that Mat had to learn.
His view is a realist one, is very raw in his writing and shares straight from the heart. I like his no holes barred approach. I think anyone who has been challenged with depression can relate and understand where Mat is coming from.
Down But Not Out is a fast read and will keep you turning the pages. I also think this book would be helpful to anyone who has had depression even if it’s not clinical or long-term.
Cherish Editions
Cherish Editions is the self-publishing division of Trigger Publishing, the UK’s leading independent mental health and wellbeing publisher.
We are experienced in creating and selling positive, responsible, important and inspirational books, which work to de-stigmatise the issues around mental health, as well as helping people who read them to maintain and improve their mental health and wellbeing. By choosing to publish through Cherish Editions, you will get the expertise of the dedicated Trigger Team at every step of the process.
We are proud of what we do, and passionate about the books that we publish. We want to do the very best for you and your book, holding your hand every step of the way.
Most dark chocolate is high in flavonoids, particularly a subtype called flavanols that are associated with a lower risk of heart disease. Some studies suggest chocolate or cocoa consumption is associated with a lower risk of insulin resistance and high blood pressure in adults.
National Chocolate Day
National Chocolate Day, on October 28th, recognizes one of the world’s favorite tastes. While many specific chocolate-related holidays exist throughout the year, National Chocolate Day celebrates all things chocolate.
We all have our own sources for coziness. Some of us may string twinkle lights around our homes while others light deliciously scented-smelling candles.
It’s so easy to get bogged down in the day-to-day and lose sight of what matters. It can be challenging to find inspiration, but there are a few things that will make you feel good about your life.
Such include getting your health checked, continually chasing all your dreams, getting that promotion at work, attaining financial independence, and more! Continue reading to identify what will make you feel good about your life.
Your health is an essential thing to keep track of. Even though you may feel like there is nothing wrong, it’s always a good idea to check up on yourself and make sure that everything is as it should be.
Then, if something happens, you can get urgent care right away without having too much worry about your health deteriorating before getting help for the problem. You can keep track of your health by getting yearly checkups from a doctor.
It is also essential to keep up with your preventative care, which means going for regular visits and screenings that allow you to stay on top of any issues or concerns before they become big problems.
Continually Chasing All Your Dreams
Chasing your dreams is a great way to start a better life, and it doesn’t have to be about things that are very far out of reach. It’s the little dreams too!
Don’t just think you’ll get rich one day or something – go after what makes you happy in your everyday life. Whether taking up a new hobby or traveling the world with your best friend, chasing those dreams will give you so much happiness when they come true.
Getting That Promotion at Work
Getting a promotion at work can be very fulfilling and rewarding. It can help you feel more confident in your work life, and it might be an indicator that you are doing something right at the company where you work.
It is essential to understand what makes a promotion rewarding for each person because not everyone values money or title as much as others do when receiving this kind of reward from their employer. In addition, the most fulfilling promotions give people opportunities to learn new skills or introduce them to exciting workplace challenges.
Attaining Financial Independence
Attaining financial independence is a big deal. It can be a great feeling to know that you no longer need to rely on anyone else financially, and it is something worth celebrating.
As per Forbes, there are many benefits of financial independence such as having the security of knowing your money will last for at least 30 years in retirement and you will spend less time working. This means more family time and living life on your terms!
Reconnecting with an Old Friend
Reconnecting with old friends is another way of feeling good about your life. You can catch up on what you have been doing since the last time you saw each other and also reminisce over old memories when you were both “babies.”
In conclusion, many things will make you feel good about your life. It would help if you got your health checked, continually chase all of your dreams, attain financial independence and reconnect with an old friend, as these four things will give you a lot more energy to do the other tasks in life.
A socially awkward doctor called with the news. The call I had been dreading. Cancer. When the short call ended, I just sat there, dumbfounded, until I mustered up the courage to call my mom. To this day, sharing the news of my diagnosis has been one of the worst things I’ve had to do. […]
Welcome to the weekend edition of Today in History. I’m so glad you’re enjoying the post. Have an awesome weekend.
1901
First barrel ride down Niagara Falls
On October 24, 1901, a 63-year-old schoolteacher named Annie Edson Taylor becomes the first person to successfully take the plunge over Niagara Falls in a barrel.
1945
The United Nations is born
On October 24, 1945, the United Nations Charter, which was adopted and signed on June 26, 1945, is now effective and ready to be enforced. The United Nations was born of perceived necessity, as a means of better arbitrating international conflict and negotiating peace than was …read more
2003
The Concorde makes its final flight
The supersonic Concorde jet makes its last commercial passenger flight, traveling at twice the speed of sound from New York City’s John F. Kennedy International Airport to London’s Heathrow Airport on October 24, 2003. The British Airways jet carried 100 passengers, including …read more
1969
“Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid” opens in wide release
On October 24, 1969, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, starring Paul Newman and Robert Redford as a team of bank robbers in the Old West, opens in theaters around the United States. The film was a commercial and critical success, receiving seven Oscar nominations (including …read more
1997
Marv Albert faces sentencing in sexual assault case
Circuit Court Judge Benjamin Kendrick announces that he will dismiss the sexual assault case filed against Marv Albert by 42-year-old Vanessa Perhach if the sportscaster agrees to get counseling and stays out of trouble for a year. Albert faced up to 12 months in jail and a …read more
This month’s Chronic Illness Writing Prompts are Falling, Transitioning, Choosing, Imagining, and Beautifying. This month I picked three of the five. Each month the prompts are from A Chronic Voice, be sure to check out her awesome blog filled with tons of information on living life to the fullest.
This month I’m working on the inside and the outside of me. On the inside I’ve started Yoga, at least I have bought the necessary items to start. I plan to focus on stretches then work into some actual Yoga moves. It’s been years since I’ve done any exercise other than walking the stairs. Today I started walking with my husband and the dogs at lunch.
As for the outside, after getting my hair cut my ears are more noticeable so I pierced one of my upper ears and have bought a diamond shooting star for it. I pierced both sides but the side I sleep on hurt too bad and I let it close up. I have plenty of jewelry but haven’t worn it much this past 10 years. I started wearing a necklace again and that has worked so far. I also bought a faux diamond wedding ring since mine no longer fit. Now I have a wedding ring to wear after years of going without one, it feels good and I think my husband likes it.
I have spent many years living as a patient, always reading about what is going on with me, the latest research, and even listening to others with the same health issues. I’m choosing to no longer take that approach. When I go to the doctor, I’m a patient, ask my questions, come home, and read about the side effects of any new meds, and then I’m putting it away. Yes, I have to pay attention to the everyday issue and look for side effects or worse but I’m changing my mindset. I’m working on a healthy mindset with a sick body. It’s not glossing over the facts, I chose to not focus on the facts. There is a big difference. My doctor is great and she changed my meds yesterday, I’m taking a positive attitude about how they will help my pain levels without opioids. I’m living opioid-free for as long as I can.
I’m having fun with my blog by doing more Book Reviews and Interviews. I have had so many great books to read and enjoy the opportunity to share with my readers. I have two companies out of the UK that I’ve been working with and now work with NetGalley so I can expand my range of self-help and mental health books.
I wanted to be a journalist from the sixth grade on, actually worked on the school and our local newspaper in high school. I won a Journalism scholarship but we couldn’t afford for me to go to school out of town. I look at blogging as my writing opportunity. I’ve forgotten most of what I learned about proper writing but I get along. I want to expand myself. We are well-rounded people with many interests and I want to bring you more interesting topics on my blog.
I also want to get back to more advocacy work, I’ve been lax and now it is the time to get involved in issues that mean something to me. You may have noticed how active I’ve been in October Awareness Days, they are great issues that need more conversation around them. Look for more in the coming months.
Welcome to the weekend edition of Today in History. I’m so glad you’re enjoying the post. Have an awesome weekend.
1974
“Benji” opens in theaters
On October 17, 1974, Benji, a film about a stray dog who helps rescue several kidnapped children, opens in theaters; it will go on to become a family classic. Written and directed by Joe Camp, Benji starred a mutt named Higgins, who had been rescued as a puppy from a California …read more
1906
A shoemaker leads German soldiers in a robbery
Wilhelm Voigt, a 57-year-old German shoemaker, impersonates an army officer and leads an entire squad of soldiers to help him steal 4,000 marks. Voigt, who had a long criminal record, humiliated the German army by exploiting their blind obedience to authority and getting them to …read more
1835
The first resolution formally creating the Texas Rangers is approved
On October 17, 1835, Texans approve a resolution to create the Texas Rangers, a corps of armed and mounted lawmen designed to “range and guard the frontier between the Brazos and Trinity Rivers.” In the midst of their revolt against Mexico, Texan leaders felt they needed a …read more
1989
Oakland-San Francisco World Series game postponed because of earthquake
On October 17, 1989, a magnitude 6.9 earthquake rocks northern California during Game 3 of the World Series between the San Francisco Giants and Oakland Athletics at Candlestick Park, forcing postponement of the matchup. The series resumes 10 days after the earthquake, which …read more
1931
On October 17, 1931, gangster Al Capone is sentenced to 11 years in prison for tax evasion and fined $80,000, signaling the downfall of one of the most notorious criminals of the 1920s and 1930s.
Alphonse Gabriel Capone was born in Brooklyn, New York, in 1899 to Italian immigrants. He was expelled from school at 14, joined a gang and earned his nickname “Scarface” after being sliced across the cheek during a fight. By 1920, Capone had moved to Chicago, where he was soon helping to run crime boss Johnny Torrio’s illegal enterprises, which included alcohol-smuggling, gambling and prostitution. Torrio retired in 1925 after an attempt on his life and Capone, known for his cunning and brutality, was put in charge of the organization.
The sound of Darth Vader’s difficult breathing was made with a scuba regulator.
Luke Skywaker was originally named Luke Skykiller
A moonbow is a rainbow produced by moonlight rather than direct sunlight
The # symbol isn’t officially called a hashtag or a pound. It’s technically called an “octothorpe.” The “octo-” means “eight” to refer to its points
“Respair” is a 15th-century word meaning ‘fresh hope’ or a recovery from despair.[
A group of stingrays is called a fever.
The plural of cul-de-sac is culs-de-sac.
The term “lawn mullet” means having a neatly manicured front yard and an unmowed mess in the back.
Raccoons have four times more sensory cells in their paws than most mammals. This allows them to “see” with their hands and get images of the object they touch without even looking at them.
I really enjoy this week’s Fun Facts!!!!!! There are some good ones in here.
I’m so glad you’ve joined me this week for another edition of Weekend Music Share.
Welcome back to Weekend Music Share; the place where everyone can share their favorite music.
Feel free to use the ‘Weekend Music Share‘ banner in your post, and don’t forget to use the hashtag #WeekendMusicShare on social media so other participants can find your post.
I want to thank Leslie L. McKee for sharing an advanced copy of Hope Amid the Pain: Hanging On to Positive Expectations When Battling Chronic Pain and Illness (a 60-Day Devotional Journal) for an honest review.
Leslie is an author, editor, and reviewer. She is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers and The Christian PEN. Some of her devotionals were published in compilations by Ellie Claire in 2017 and 2020. Her flash fiction stories have been published with Havok, Splickety, and Spark (websites, magazines, and anthologies). Her devotional journal (HOPE Amid The Pain: Hanging on to Positive Expectations When Battling Chronic Illness and Pain) will soon be published with Ambassador International. She enjoys reading, playing piano, crocheting, spending time with family and friends (and her turtle!), and rooting for the NY Giants.
Blurb
Why me? Is God punishing me? Is my faith not strong enough for God to heal me? How can I achieve my dreams? What’s my purpose?
If you’re someone living with a chronic illness or chronic pain, these are just a few of the questions you’ve likely asked on more than one occasion. You may feel overlooked or even resentful. You try to stay positive, but some days it’s hard. It’s natural to feel this way and grieve, but it’s still possible to have a hope-filled life. God has a purpose for the pain.
Christians aren’t immune from pain and illness, but we don’t have to go through it alone. Jesus promised that He would “never leave you nor forsake you” (Deuteronomy 31:6 NIV).
Millions of women suffering from chronic pain and illness want the reassurance they’re not alone. The devotions in Hope Amid the Pain are written by a chronic pain warrior with over twenty-five years’ experience and will point the reader to hope and encouragement. It’s possible to Hang On to Positive Expectations (HOPE) even amid the pain.
What Others Are Saying
Beautifully written, HOPE Amid the Pain tugs at the heart with both practical and spiritual instruction. Anyone who is or has suffered with crippling and debilitating pain or illness will find encouragement and support in this devotional. Spirit-lifting, wise, and filled with inspiration, this devotional is sure to strengthen hearts for wherever the Lord is leading.
Debbie Macomber | #1 NYT Bestselling Author
McKee writes with compassion and understanding. Words of grace and compassion for those struggling with chronic pain.
Vannetta Chapman | USA Today bestselling author
As a mental health therapist I often look for resources for clients who struggle with chronic mental and physical illnesses. Leslie L. McKee speaks from personal experience as a woman who suffers from chronic illness. She has combined her personal experience, her deep faith in Christ, and her writing skills to provide a devotional which will truly minister to women who are fellow travelers on the chronic illness journey. Her format provides encouragement with practical application based on Scripture. I can’t wait to be able to offer such a devotional to my clients.
Patricia J Edwards| LCSW, TheAntioch Group
My Thoughts
Leslie has been a chronic pain warrior for over twenty years and understands the challenges we face daily. She does a great job of lifting you up; it’s like a gentle hug from a friend.
The journal covers topics like:
Don’t Settle
You Are Enough
Rest Stop
Through The Fire
Leslie also offers a Resource guide at the back of the book and a chapter on Scriptures.
I think it’s a great gift for you or someone you care for who has a chronic illness or suffers from chronic pain. Self-care is critical to our overall health and especially our mental health.
Leslie’s book is a must buy and will be a resource you will refer to again and again.
There is no denying that your life is going to change once you have children. This is the biggest change in anyone’s life. You and your partner have created another human. You will experience a love you have never experienced before. You will have a sense of responsibility you have never experienced before. You will be doing and learning about things you have never done before. It is only natural that this has an impact on the dynamic of your relationship. So, with that being said, let’s take a look at some of the common ways that relationships change once you have had kids.
Your relationship will end up getting a bit neglected
This is only natural. You don’t end up nurturing or prioritizing your relationship in the way that you should because you now have a crying baby to attend to all of the time. You will not have the attention and time you did for one and another before the baby. This can be difficult. However, it is important to try and make some time for one and another whenever you can. If your family offers to look after your baby so you can have a date night, take advantage of it.
You have a new bond
No matter how tough it gets, you will find that you have a new bond. Yes, lack of sleep takes its toll. Nevertheless, you have brought a beautiful baby into the world, which makes you smile and laugh. You will feel closer than ever. Despite the ups and downs, this strong sense of unity will be there.
You might hate your partner a little bit
Hate is a bit of a strong word here because it is rarely genuine hate, although it can feel like it at the time. You may find yourself snapping at your partner 24/7 or resenting them for going to work. It is important to recognize that your hormones are all over the place. You may think you need a divorce lawyer, but try to be patient and work through it. Of course, there are cases whereby divorce is the only option but take your time here. Most people refer to this stage as early mood swings. Not only have you gone through hormonal changes but you are probably suffering from a severe lack of sleep too. This is completely normal, so long as it does not turn into postpartum depression.
As you can see, there are a number of different ways that your relationship may change once you have had children. Some of these changes are positive and some are negative. However, it is important to acknowledge and accept these changes. Don’t be hard on yourself or your partner. You are both adjusting to a new way of life, and that in itself can be a challenge. Nevertheless, it is the most beautiful challenge of them all!
At 28 years old the last thing you expect to hear is you have cancer! I had been for my annual gynecological exam and the doctor called me back in for a follow-up. Not a good sign. At the appointment, he informed me I had Cervical Cancer and was unsure how far it had spread and wanted to do a couple of non-invasive procedures first.
He did two procedures without success and the decision was made I needed a hysterectomy. It was hard to hear at that young of an age, not to mention I was not married and had no children. Not that children were high on my list since I was very career-driven but it was an option.
When looking further into my family history he noticed both my mother and grandmother had Ovarian Cancer at a young age, both had a hysterectomy, and my risk of developing it was high. He recommended a total hysterectomy which meant having children was no longer an option.
It only took a few minutes to decide my health was most important and developing cancer a second time was not a risk I wanted to take.
The surgery was a success and I did not require chemotherapy which was a huge blessing.
Please keep your annual appointments, one year can make all the difference.
I don’t have any children and my life is still full and no worse off without them. I would rather be at a lower risk of repeat cancer, it was a great decision.
Today I had the pleasure of talking with Bestselling Author Nancy Naigle author of over 25 books about her latest book The Shell Collector. The Blog Tour hits the road October 4th-10th, 2021. Be sure to check out the incredible give-a-way, details below.
About the Author
USA Today bestselling author Nancy Naigle whips up small-town love stories with a whole lot of heart. She began her popular contemporary romance series, Adams Grove while juggling a successful career in finance and life on a seventy-six-acre farm. Over twenty-five novels later, Nancy is a Romance Writers of America and ACFW Honor Roll author. Her books have been translated into multiple languages and received favorable reviews from major trade journals. Nancy’s latest release, THE SHELL COLLECTOR, is a touching novel of a friendship that crosses generations, and learning how even the smallest gifts can change a life for good.
Crown Media has adapted several of Nancy’s novels for Hallmark Channel, and Nancy novelized three Hallmark Original Movies set in the town of Evergreen. Hallmark fans may have recently enjoyed The Secret Ingredient and new in 2021 Sand Dollar Cove in the Summer Nights programming-both inspired by her novels.
Now happily retired from a career in the financial industry, this Virginia girl devotes her time to writing, antiquing, and horseback riding with friends.
Download a complete list of Nancy’s books at NancyNaigle, then stay up to date with future releases by joining Nancy’s free newsletter -or on Twitter @nancynaigle
Hugs and happy reading~
Blurb
“The Shell Collector is a beautiful story full of love, loss, and second chances.”—#1 New York Times bestselling author Debbie Macomber
From USA Today bestselling author Nancy Naigle, The Shell Collector is a touching novel of a friendship that crosses generations, and learning how even the smallest gifts can change a life for good.
Two years after her husband’s death, Amanda Whittier has two children to raise alone, an abandoned dream of starting a business, and a fixer-upper cottage by the sea. She has no room in her life for anything else and little interest in moving on after losing the man she loved.
Paul Grant is a relative newcomer to the area, and his work with former military dogs needing rehabilitation has been good for the town. Though he loved once before, he’s convinced he’s not suited for romance and is determined to find meaning—alone—through his work and role in the community.
Widowed Maeve Lindsay was born and raised on Whelk’s Island. Spirited, kind, and a little mischievous, she pours her life into the town. But she carries a secret that shapes her every move.
Together, these three souls find encouragement in the most mysterious places and discover a love that’s bigger than their pain, healing their wounded hearts in ways none of them could have hoped for or expected.
352 pages Published 2021
How did you get the idea for The Shell Collector?
I lost my husband to a really short battle with cancer in January 2014. Just three months and my whole world changed. Five weeks later I lost a cousin to cancer too.Grief is an incredibly hard thing to navigate. My cousin had shared a story with me about a friend of our family who walked the beach every morning. One day with something particularly heavy on her heart she kicked up a shell in the surf. When she picked up the shell, she noticed a message written inside. Not any message, but a scripture and one that seemed to be written just for her and what she was worried about.
That story hung on my heart after losing my cousin, and as I navigated my own grief slowly a story of two widows, one an older woman who walks the beach every day, the other a young mother of two who has just moved to the beach town to get her life going again after losing her husband two years prior. They help each other through, and the cross-generational friendship is so beautiful. I still tear up just talking about it. It’s about navigating grief to hope and happiness, and I promise there’s a lot of happiness in this story too. The setting is fictional, but imagine a small town on the North Carolina shore where the community pulls together and the off-season is precious. I grew up in Virginia Beach. Mom and I walked the beach all the time, and my younger brother and I played there. Reliving those playful memories through the two young children in this story was a joy.
#1 New York Times Best Selling Author Debbie Macomber wrote “The Shell Collector is a beautiful story full of love, loss and second chances.” What does it mean to you to be applauded by your peers?
Oh, my goodness! I’m such a fan girl, and I am so humbled and grateful to have had the chance to meet most all of my favorite authors. To have them endorse my book is still a “pinch-me” moment. I’m tearing up just thinking about the lovely quotes that were offered for The Shell Collector. This book came out of a very special place in my heart so the kind words are even sweeter a reward for this story.
If I were to ask a young Nancy what she wanted to be when she grew up, what would you have said and why?
LOL. Well, young Nancy wanted to be a zoologist and specialize in designing animal habitats. I still love the zoo! Somewhere around junior high I started dreaming of working for a big company in the city. Before I took early retirement to write full-time, I was a Senior Vice President with Ban of America. Writing was never on my radar as a career. When I turned 40 I decided I wanted to write one book to help one girl get through one bad day. That was the goal. It took me nine years to get that one book published, and it wasn’t until about book nine that I started thinking about making the leap to writing full-time as a realistic option.
What magazines are on your coffee table right now?
Cowboys & Indians (with Matthew McConaughey on the cover from earlier this summer) and REAL SIMPLE.
Who are your favorites authors? What are you reading right now?
The impossible question! You know I’m good friends with lots and lots of authors. I love and read them all. I’m currently reading Bookshop by the Sea by Denise Hunter.Books and beach—sounds like a winner to me!
Where do you go to find inspiration? Do you have a special quiet place?
I am inspired by life. Talking to people. Visiting new places. Trying new things. Living life with no agenda fills my creative well.
Tell me about your experience of making a book into a movie?
It’s a dream come true, but you should know that once the production company buys the option to turn my book into a movie, it’s out of my hands. They get to streamline the story as they see fit, and they don’t look for advice from the author. It’s exciting to see what pieces and parts of a 90,000 word novel they choose to include in the screenplay which is roughly 110 pages and about 20,000 words. ☺ Pssst – the book is always better!
What was the inspiration behind painting quotes on shells?
Well, I shared the original inspiration for the inscribed shells in the book above, but did you know I also have been painting shells and inscribing them for readers since the book released? Let me tell you about that!
I create a Pinterest board for every book I write while I’m writing it. Any research I do results in pics tucked away on that board. Now, that doesn’t mean it always ends up in the book, but it’s a great way to create an inspiration board. Along the journey of researching THE SHELL COLLECTOR I ran across the most beautiful shells. I decided to try my hand at it, and enjoyed it so much I’ve painted 100s of them! I use black chalk paint as a base, then dip, dot and dab acrylic paint using tiny brushes and mandala tools to pretty them up. In each one I write my favorite quote from the book ~ Interrupt Worry With Gratitude.
What’s next for you? Do you have a book or project already in the works?
More books! WHAT REMAINS TRUE comes out 5/3/2021. It is set in the same small mountain town of Antler Creek that my holiday novel, CHRISTMAS ANGELS, was set. Read that one this winter to get ready for the new release. WHAT REMAINS TRUE is already available for preorder at all your favorite retailers.
How would you like readers to follow or get in touch with you?
A music industry mainstay and folk icon since her 1995 album Pieces of You, Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter Jewel didn’t intend to be famous. “I never set out to be a musician; I set out to learn how to be happy,” she says.
(DAVID “DOC” ABBOTT)
Songwriting led her away from the troubled path she walked as a teen—she ran away from an abusive home, fell into a pattern of stealing and homelessness and battled frequent anxiety attacks. She taught herself techniques to become more mindful and to help quell anxiety, “and I wrote [songs] as a way of keeping track of my progress.”
What followed was chart-topping fame thanks to her vulnerable and emotional music. Her self-observation in those early years became a lifelong quest to educate others about the benefits of mindfulness and tools to improve mental wellness. “For some reason, I’ve had a talent for two things: One is writing songs, and one is creating practical exercises that rewire my brain,” says the 47-year-old, who shares research-backed techniques at her website Never Broken.
She works alongside the Inspiring Children Foundation to provide young people and adults with tools to manage anxiety, and is releasing her 13th studio album this fall—“the first record I’ve written from scratch in my whole career.” The songs, she says, are a raw, honest and authentic representation of her current stage.
We spoke with Jewel about how becoming more mindful has had an impact on her life, her favorite technique for calming anxiety and some common misconceptions about meditation that we all need to move past.
What are some mindfulness techniques you taught yourself as a young musician?
While homeless, I had a year of creating a lot of breakthroughs for myself and exercises that were practicable. I started to look at addictive patterns and thinking, Well, if my brain can get addicted to that, maybe it can get addicted to good things. It was through a lot of self-observation I learned that if I want tomorrow to feel different, I have to do something different than I did yesterday. That’s how I learned to be present. And then I learned how to put that presence to work.
What does it mean to be “dilated” and “contracted”?
I believe we have two states of being: dilated and contracted. Start to notice when you feel relaxed and open, that’s dilated. When the body feels tight, that’s contracted. Write in a journal: what are you thinking, feeling or doing? Because every single thought, feeling or action is going to lead to one of those two states. You’re going to start recognizing, “Oh, I always dilate or feel calm when I talk to Susie, when I walk in nature, when I get exercise, when I feel rested, when I’m pursuing that passion.” Or you might feel tight and contracted when X, Y, Z happens. You’ll start to see the things you’re consuming in your life—the thoughts, feelings, actions and behaviors—that do or don’t agree with you.
What’s the biggest misconception about meditating?
Think of meditation as a bicep curl for your brain, one that builds the muscle of how to be present. Let’s pretend you’re in a business meeting. The person who’s the most present is going to observe the most. And whoever observes the most and can act on that observation quicker, has the edge. Building presence is incredibly good for every area of your life because it makes you a higher performer.
I think the biggest misconception about meditation is that you shouldn’t have thoughts. People feel like they’re losing if they have thoughts. They think meditation is some amazing state where you hear the universal “om” and your mind goes blank and it feels awesome. That’s not what it is. Your brain will have thoughts, but every time you notice the thought, you come back to the breath, the present moment. And that’s the bicep curl, that’s winning.
And sometimes that process can feel uncomfortable?
Learning to meditate can feel like quitting smoking. You feel like your skin is crawling because you’re going through distraction addiction withdrawals—you’re so used to checking your phone and emails that your body is giving you the impulse to check them, just like smoking. When you sit and try to abstain from that, your neurochemicals are still going to try and stimulate you to do the behavior. It doesn’t feel comfortable. But I want people to know that the great thing about being present is you now have a chance to ask, “Do I like what my life is doing? Do I like this behavior? Is it serving me? And would I rather do something else?” Those are really important questions so we don’t end up late in life realizing we got way off course.
How do you stay consistent?
Meditation is about being willing to make a small commitment to yourself and being consistent with that. You don’t have to run a marathon; just try five breaths. Or maybe it’s 10 breaths every morning before you get up. Make it doable. And then if you want, you can build from there.
Are there days you still get anxious?
Yes. If I notice I’m really contracted, I ask, “What was I just thinking, feeling or doing?” I use that exercise all the time. Then I’ll realize I was just feeling badly because of what so and so said. But I don’t have panic attacks anymore. I’m not agoraphobic anymore. A lot of those things go away, but your anxiety is kind of your ally. It’s your body communicating: Are you in agreement with your life? Are you in agreement with your surroundings? I still feel anxious, but it isn’t scary or debilitating. I have tools to deal with it and understand it.
What do you mean by using anxiety as an ally?
Anxiety can be your body telling you you’re consuming something in your environment that doesn’t agree with you, whether it’s a thought or an interaction. So think of your anxiety as an ally. That’s one of my favorite daily practices to teach people if they’re struggling with any type of anxiety. And it’s a really good example of putting your presence and mindfulness to work.
When you look back at your rise to fame, what are some feelings you remember?
I had such a meteoric rise that I was exhausted. I needed time to psychologically adjust. I had to give myself permission to stop and say, “Do you still want to be a musician? Does this actually work for you?” Because that level of fame made me pretty unhappy. I’m an introverted writer and all of a sudden, I was so famous.
I realized the pace of my career was very difficult for me psychologically. You can’t just have constant output; you need input at some point. I realized I needed to read books. I needed to have quiet time. I needed time to let my mind drift. I can’t just tour and make records, tour and make records. And if I wait a couple years between records, it keeps the fame at a level I can handle. I started doing that. And it was a radical thing to do.
You promised yourself as a young musician to always focus on your own happiness.
I’m very proud that 25 years into my career, I’ve never let myself down on that promise. And it’s why I made decisions that might have hurt my fame or my celebrity but were good for my mental health. Nobody’s encouraging musicians to take a year off to handle the almost traumatic experience of becoming famous. And it’s something I hope every musician gives themselves permission to do. I’m very proud of what SimoneBiles did for instance. Because a gold medal is not winning if you also want to die.
My self-worth does not depend on how many likes I have. I can’t say it was always that way, but I feel fine engaging on social media now. It’s really helpful as a musician because I have a direct relationship with my fans, which is really nice. But consider how you interact with it, how it affects your mental health. If it’s affecting you in a negative way, ask yourself, “What about this is flipping my switch?” I don’t think social media is bad—it’s how we relate to our social media apps.
When you look back at your songwriting years from now, what do you hope to see?
I want to look back on my life as my artwork, not just my songs. I would feel dumb if my songs were my best work of art. I want my life to be my best work of art, and that means I have to give every aspect of my life, my time and thought and intention and consideration. And in this job, that really isn’t what we do. We want a relationship, we want to be parents, we want to have all these aspects working well. And to do that means you better make time and a plan to make those things feel good to you.
Why did you want to write this album from scratch, not use any of your back catalogue?
I’ve always been prolific, and always written a steady stream of multiple genres. And I’ve had a back catalogue of 1000s of songs my whole career. So even by the time I put out my first album, I had a couple 100 songs and was able to pick 14 for Piece of You. And it kept going my whole career. I just was lucky to be prolific. And so maybe would write one song per record per project. With this record, I wanted to write it from scratch. I just wanted it to be completely from the ground up who I was now. And it was one of the most challenging things I’ve ever done. I see why middle aged artists do a lot of drugs (laughs)!
I don’t like covering the same ground twice. It’s just my personality. I like being uncomfortable and putting myself in an uncomfortable place that’s authentic to me. That’s why I like to try different things. So this record was a really wild process, I wrote over 200 songs to get these songs that made it on the album. So it really took a while to get a group that sounded like they were of a piece of a body that felt raw and honest but also were representative of who and what I am now and that pushed me some way creatively in a way I haven’t been pushed before. So the result is this record. It has a much more soul feel than any record I’ve ever done. I wrote for my vocals I think for the first time. I don’t know why I’ve never written for my voice. It sounds kind of funny saying it out loud. I just always serve the story and didn’t really think about showing off. But I wanted this to showcase my singing so I wrote for my voice. And hopefully I did not compromise on the storytelling aspect.
All of my records feel like folk music to me, in the sense of what folk music is. I should look up the dictionary and see if there’s an actual definition. But my definition of folk music is songs that speak to people and doesn’t use art as propaganda. And so the album has that same sense in it. And I’m really excited about it and really excited to play it.
We all have many facets to our personality, many of which don’t show up in our blogs. I wanted to share more about the other parts of my life that make me a whole person.
I love looking at Real Estate every day! Not that we’re moving, I just like to see what others are doing with their house and keep on top of the market. Of course, I also look at luxury properties we can only afford if we win the Lotto.
I collect Globes
I eat the same thing for lunch 99% of the time. Yogurt with fruit on top, most of the time strawberries.
I eat the same dinner two nights a week 75% of the time. A muffin with one yogurt.
I have to brush my teeth after eating.
I eat out of a bowl for every meal.
I have a green/slightly yellow thumb. Very green outside, slightly yellow inside.
I love books and it’s very hard to part with them when I run out of room.
I’m pretty mechanically inclined. I discovered what was wrong with the disposal just this week.
I love to cook but hate washing the dishes. I have good dishes for cooking to hand wash and others to go in the diswasher.
I wanted to be a Life Magazine Photo Journalist from the time I was in sixth grade.
I don’t have any children but worry a great deal about the future of children.
I feel helpless when it comes to helping women in other countries even though I make charity contributions.
What are some of the other aspects of your life you don’t share on your blog? I would love to hear.
lookingforthelight.blog 