He makes a good point, many take care of others except themselves when depressed.  XO  M

TED Talk Presents

ted.com/playlists/299/the_importance_of_self_care

It was so much fun picking this week’s selection. I can see you with a big smile, recalling memories and maybe your best air guitar. The tunes will jump-start your weekend. XO M

Hello friend,

I use Google Translator, please excuse if translation not correct. I’m an American, do not speak Arabic and wanted to reach out by doing my first post in Arabic. I would love to hear your comments.

May Allah bring you and your family blessings.

Melinda

آلاء مرابط
مكانةُ المرأة الحقيقية في ديني

في طريقي إلى هنا، أجريت محادثة شيقة مع الراكب الذي بجانبي خلال رحلتي قال لي :”يبدو أن الولايات المتحدة تُعاني من البطالة لأنهم يختلقون بعض الوظائف فقط: كعالم نفس القطط و مدرب للكلاب و متعقب الأعاصير”

بعد بضعة ثوان سألني: إذن ما عملك ؟

وقلت له :”داعية للسلام ” (ضحك)

كل يوم أعمل لدعم صوت النساء، ولتسليط الضوء على تجاربهن ومشاركاتهن في عمليات السلام و حل النزاعات. وبسب عملي أدركت أن الطريقة الوحيدة لضمان المشاركة الكلية للنساء عالميًا هي عن طريق استعادة الدين.

والآن، هذا الموضوع في غاية الأهمية لدي كامرأة مسلمة شابة ، أنا فخورة جدًا بديني. فهو يعطيني القوة والقناعة لإتمام عملي كل يوم. وهو السبب في وقوفي أمامكم. لكن لا يمكنني ان أتغاضى عن الضرر الذي حصل باسم الدين، ليس ديني فقط، ولكن كل الديانات في العالم. التحريف وسوء الاستخدام والتلاعب بالنصوص المقدسة كل هذا أثر على معاييرنا الاجتماعية والثقافية، و قوانينا وحياتنا اليومية، إلى حد لا ندركه في بعض الأحيان.

انتقل والديّ من ليبيا في شمال افريقيا لكندا في أوائل سنة 1980. وأنا الطفلة الوسطى من بين 11 طفلًا. نعم،11. و خلال نشأتي رأيت والديّا متدينين و روحانين؛ يصلون لله و يحمدونه على نعمه. أعني رأيت هذا بطبيعة الحال ، ولكن مع آخرين (ضحك) كانا لطيفين ومضحكين وصبورين، صبورين بلا حدود، وجود11 طفلا يفرض عليك هذا الصبر. و كانا عادلين. لم أخضع قط للدين من خلال منظار ثقافي. تمت معاملتي بالمثل، وكان متوقع مني نفس الشيء. لم أفكر مطلقًا أن الله يحاسب على أساس النوع. و كانت معرفة والديّ عن الله بأنه صديق رحيم و نافع ومعطاء، قدشكلت طريقي في النظر للعالم.

و بالطبع لنشأتي منفعة إضافية. أن تكون من بين 11 طفلا هو مدخل إلى الدبلوماسية 101.(ضحك) ليومنا هذا يتم سؤالي :في أي مدرسة درستِ؟ مثل: “هل درستِ في كلية كينيدي بهارفرد؟” وأنظر إليهم وأجيبهم قائلة ” لا “، درست في مدرسة المرابط للشؤون الدولية” هي حصرية للغاية، عليك التكلم مع أمي للالتحاق بها. من حسن حظكم أنها هنا. أن تكون من بين 11 طفلًا ولديك 10 أشقاء يعلمك الكثير عن هياكل القوة والتحالفات. و التركيز، عليك التكلم بسرعة أو الاختصار، لأنه سوف تتم مقاطعتك دائما. يعلمك أهمية المراسلة. عليك طرح أسئلة بطريقة صحيحة لتحصل على الإجابات المقنعة، و عليك أن تقول لا بالشكل الصحيح ليبقى السلام.
ولكن أهم درس تعلمته خلال نشأتي هو أهمية أن تكون مشاركا . عندما يكسر مصباح أمي المفضل، علي أن أكون هناك عندما تحاول اكتشاف كيف و من فعل هذا لأدافع عن نفسي، لأنك إذا لم تقم بذلك، فستُوجّه إليك أصابع الاتهام، وقبل معرفتك بذلك، ستُعاقب. بطبيعة الحال أنا لا أتكلم عن خبرة.

عندما كنت 15 سنة في 2005 أنهيت الثانوية وانتقلت من كندا — ساسكاتون — للزاوية ، ،مسقط رأس أبي وأمي في ليبيا، مدينة تقليدية جدا. تذكروا، لم أذهب قطّ إلى ليبيا في عطلة، وكطفلة في السابعة من عمرها، كان ذلك كالسحر. كانت مثلجات ورحلات للشاطئ وأقارب ممتعين.

بالنظر إلى ذلك، اتضح انه ليس نفس الشعور لفتاة في الخامسة عشرة. وسرعان ما تم تقديمي للجانب الثقافي الديني كلمة “حرام”– تعني ممنوعٌ دينيًا و”عيب” غير لائق ثقافيًا– يتم استعمال المفردتين دون إيلاء أهمية للفرق بينهم، كما لو أن لهن نفس المعنى ونفس النتائج. ووجدت نفسي في نقاشات متتابعة مع زملائي في الدراسة و الزملاء والأساتذة والأصدقاء، وحتى الأقارب، قد بدأوا التساءل حول دوري وطموحاتي. وبالرغم من الأسس التي زودني بها والديّ فإني وجدت نفسي أتساءل عن دور المرأة في ديني

لذلك في مدرسة المرابط للشؤون الدوليّة، تعمقنا كثيرا في النقاش، والقاعدة رقم 1 كانت أن أبحث، و هذا ما فعلته، وتفاجأت كم كان يسيرًا أن أعثر على نساء قائدات في ديني، ممن كن مبتكرات وقويات — سياسيًا و اقتصاديًا و عسكريًا حتى. خديجة رضي الله عنها هي من موّلت الحركة الإسلامية في مرحلتها الأولى. لم نكن لنكون هنا هذا اليوم لو لم يكن ذلك لأجلها. إذن لماذا لم نكن نتعلم عنها؟ لماذا لا نتعلم عن هؤلاء النساء ؟ لماذا يتم إبعاد المرأة للمواقع التي سبقت تعاليم ديننا ؟ ولماذا ؟ -إن كنا متساوين عند الله- لسنا متساوين في أعين الرجال ؟

بالنسبة لي، يعود كل ذلك للدروس التي تعلمتها في صغري. صانع القرار، الشخص الذي يسيطر على الرسالة جالس على الطاولة، ولسوء الحظ في كل ديانة عالمية ليس هناك نساء. المؤسسات الدينية مسيطر عليها من قبل الرجال يقودها الرجال و قد أنشأوا سياسات حسب رغباتهم، وإلى أن نستطيع تغيير النظام بأكمله فنحن في الحقيقة لا نتوقّع مشاركة كليّة للمرأة اقتصاديًا وسياسيًا. أساسنا معطل. قالت أمي لا تستطيع بناء منزل سليم على أساس أعوج.

في 2011، اندلعت الثورة الليبية، وكانت عائلتي على خطوط المواجهة. وهناك الشيء المدهش الذي يحدث في الحرب، و هو تقريبا تحوّل ثقافي، مُؤقّت جدا. وكانت المرة الأولى التي شعرت فيها ليس فقط بقبولي للمشاركة ولكن شعرت بتشجيعي. لقد كان مطلوبًا. أنا ونساء أخريات كان لنا مقاعد على الطاولة لم نكن في الخلف أو مشجعات فقط. كنا جزءا من صانعي القرار. كنا نتبادل المعلومات، كنا في غاية الأهمية. وأردت واحتجت لذلك التغيير أن يكون دائما.

اتضح لي، أن الأمر ليس بتلك السهولة. استمر فقط بضعة أسابيع قبل أن تعود النساء اللواتي عملت معهنّ إلي أدوارهنّ السابقة. و معظمهن تم طردهن بتشجيع من قادة دينيين وسياسيين. و معظمهم استشهد بآيات قرآنية كدفاع عن أنفسهم وهي طريقة اكتسابهم للدعم الشعبي لآرائهم.

لذا ركزت في البداية على تعزيز مكانة المرأة اقتصاديا وسياسيا. اعتقدت أن ذلك سيُحدث تغييرا ثقافيا واجتماعيا. اتضح أنه كان تغييرا طفيفا جدا وليس بصفة كُليّة. قررت استخدام دفاعاتهم على أنها طريقة هجومي، وبدأت بالاستشهاد بأيات قرآنية كذلك.
في 2012 و2013، قادت منظمتي واحدة من أكبر وأكثر الحملات انتشارا في ليبيا. دخلنا البيوت والمدارس والجامعات وحتى المساجد . تحدثنا مع 50,000 شخص مباشرة ومئات الآلاف من خلال اللوحات والإعلانات التلفزيونية و الإذاعية والملصقات.

وعلى الأرجح أنكم تتساءلون كيف يمكن لمنظمة حقوق المرأة القيام بذلك في مجتعات عارضت في السابق مجرد وجودنا. استخدمت نصوصا مقدسة. آيات قرآنية وأحاديث نبوية. الأحاديث ،أقواله على سبيل المثال، “خيركم خيركم لأهله ” ” انصر أخاك ظالمًا أو مظلوما ” و لأول مرة دعا خطباء الجُمع في المجتمع المحلي لتعزيز حقوق المرأة. ناقشوا القضايا المحرمة، مثل العنف المنزلي تغيرت السياسات . في مجتمعات معينة كان علينا أن نذهب لأقصى حد مثل الإعلان الدولي العالمي لحقوق الانسان، يمكن معارضته لأنه لم يكتب بواسطة علماء الدين. حسنا،هذه نفس المبادئ في كتابنا. لذلك قامت الأمم المتحدة باستنساخنا فقط.

وعن طريق تغيير الرسالة كنا قادرين على توليد رواية بديلة دعمت حقوق النساء في ليبيا. إنه شيء تم استنساخه الآن دوليا، و أؤكد بأنه ليس سهلًا — صدقوني إنه ليس كذلك. سيقول الليبراليون بأنك تستخدم الدين وسيصمونك بالمحافظ الرجعي بينما سيصفك المحافظون بأشياء كثيرة ومختلفة. لقد سمعت كل شيء: مثل “يجب على والديك أن يشعرا بالعار”– مخطؤون فهما من أكبر المعجبين — ” لن تصمدي لعيد ميلادك الثاني” — مرة أخرى مخطؤون. لأنني صمدت. وبقيت مؤمنة قوية بأن حقوق المرأة والدين لا يتعارضان. ولكن علينا أن نكون على الطاولة. علينا أن نتوقّف عن التخلي عن مناصبنا لأننا عندما نصمت، فإننا نسمح باستمرار الاضطهاد و الاعتداء على النساء في العالم. و بالقول بأننا سنقاتل لأجل حقوق المرأة ونحارب المتطرفين بالقنابل والحرب، فإننا نشلّ المجتمعات المحلية التي تحتاج لمعالجة هذه القضايا لتدوم.

ليس سهلا تحدّي الديانات المحرّفة. سيكون لك حصة كافية من السخرية والإهانة والتهديد. ولكن علينا القيام بذلك. ليس لدينا حلّ آخر سوى استعادة رسالة حقوق الانسان و مبادئ ديننا. ليس لنا، ليس للنساء في عائلتك، ليس لأجل النساء اللاتي في هذه القاعة، و لا لأجل النساء اللاتي خارجها، ولكن للمجتمعات التي سوف تتغير بمشاركة النساء. والطريقة الوحيدة لفعل ذلك و خيارنا الوحيد أن نكون ونبقى مشاركين.

شكرا لكم.

(تصفيق)

Most countries are seeing warmer Fall and Winters, which allow ticks to live. Keep in mind enjoying hiking this Fall. Lyme Specialist recommend a spray with 20% DEET. Please read the article written in New York Magazine by a doctor who contracted Lyme Disease. He shares the difficult journey for diagnosis. It is heart breaking. Due to delay in diagnosis he had several heart surgeries and ultimately a heart transplant. Shocking even to me. XO M

Helpful Resources:

New York Magazine

http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2015/06/what-its-like-to-have-severe-lyme-disease.html?ncid=newsltushpmg00000003

International Lyme and Associated Diseases Society

www.ilads.org

Lyme Disease Network
www.lymenet.org

Lyme Info
www.lymeinfo.net

Photo by Graphic Photos

Important Change.org Petition

Warning: This petition contains details about sexual assault.

When I first read about Roosh V (real name Daryush Valizadeh), an American citizen and professional “pick up artist,” I became physically sick. His views on rape, women, and “dating” are that repugnant. His books, known as the “Bang” series, are thinly veiled guides to getting away with rape — a crime which he has repeatedly said should be made legal.
And yet Amazon.com, the largest online bookseller, currently stocks all of his books. They’re making money from a man telling other men how to rape women. So is he.

In one of the books sold on Amazon, “Bang Iceland,” he openly confessed to raping a woman:
“While walking to my place, I realized how drunk she was. In America, having sex with her would have been rape, since she legally couldn’t give her consent. It didn’t help matters that I was sober, but I can’t say I cared or even hesitated. I won’t rationalize my actions, but having sex is what I do.”
No, committing rape is what he does.

Valizadeh claims protest against him only ‘makes him stronger’. So let’s hit him where it hurts — financially. Help petition Amazon to remove his works from their their stock; sign and share.
To those who’ll cry ‘censorship’ – back off. He’s entitled to write and think and say what he likes. He’s not, however, protected from the backlash against his output, or removal of platform. This isn’t about banning books, it’s about ensuring he, and Amazon, can’t profit from rape.

I’m not going to link his site here; it’s too awful. If you want to read up, I am warning you; it’s grim. Help us shut him down. Together we stopped a similar “pick up artist” named Julien Blanc from getting a visa to enter the UK — now let’s see if we can make Amazon hear us as well.

If you feel strongly about Amazon pulling his books and no longer selling, please visit Change.org and let your voice be heard. 

XO  M

Your Daughter

RAINN  Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network

Help is available 24/7 through the National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800-656-HOPE and online.rainn.org, y en español: rainn.org/es.

Survivor Spotlight: College Campus Sexual Assault

(August 10, 2015) — Ti’Air was happy that someone she met a few years ago reached out to help her through the process of moving to a new university campus, where she was beginning to study for a Ph.D. in biomedical engineering. “He was very friendly and helpful. We talked every day,” she says. “But suddenly, he became extremely flirtatious and aggressive.” One night, he invited her to karaoke. He took her back to her home at the end of the night, and when they arrived at her apartment, he raped her.

Although Ti’Air reported her rape to her university and the police, the case did not move forward. She channeled her frustration with this experience into founding a student group on campus. “The reason I started Students Against Rape and Violence (SARA V) was due to the lack of resources I found on my campus to help me cope,” she says. Ti’Air hopes SARA V can be a vehicle of change by educating students about sexual assault and providing a safe space for peers to share their experiences.

Ti’Air says there were a number of challenges she faced after her sexual assault. She had trouble focusing at school, developed post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and faced harassment from friends of her assailant. Yet, Ti’Air now feels stronger as a result of these obstacles. “In retrospect, these experiences were awful, but they have made my skin thicker.”

Ti’Air now has some tips for dealing with symptoms of PTSD. “To combat nightmares, I’ve found that drinking chamomile tea at night before bed helps me stay asleep,” she says. “If I’m in public and having triggers, I calm myself down and give myself words of affirmation.”

In addition to improved resources for handling sexual assault, Ti’Air wants colleges to provide mandatory education for students on the subject. She likes the idea of interactive workshops that facilitate conversations about sexual violence and consent. “I want to encourage student interaction [to learn] what is okay and what is not okay,” she says.

Ti’Air found many strategies that helped her heal and recover, including going to counseling and spending time with family and friends. “I actually discovered the Lafayette Crisis Center through RAINN’s website, and drove over to attend one of their therapy sessions.”

She also emphasizes the importance of not keeping silent. “I find that telling my story is cathartic,” Ti’Air says. As a title holder in the Miss United States pageant system, Ti’Air is able to encourage other survivors to speak up. “By far, the most rewarding aspect is hearing others come forth with their stories,” she says. “Although I may never see justice myself, it feels great to know that my work may help others see justice.”

“I want every survivor to know that it is not your fault. You are not responsible or guilty for what has happened to you,” she says. “You are worthy of respect and love.”

Bring the conversation about sexual assault prevention to your school this fall: Join the #TalkToRAINN campaign and sign up to receive free coffee sleeves for your campus.

If you or someone you know has been affected by sexual violence, it’s not your fault. You are not alone. Help is available 24/7 through the National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800-656-HOPE and online.rainn.org, y en español: rainn.org/es.

Suicide is the second leading cause of death in college-age students. In a recent study, one in ten students admitted to having considered suicide.

My name is Conner Mertens. I am a sophomore at Willamette University and a placekicker for the Willamette Bearcats. Last year, I became the first active college football player, at any level, to publicly come out about my sexuality. Before doing this, I felt isolated by my secret. I had to constantly watch what I said and how I behaved, and endure the normal locker room culture that often included homophobic language and behavior.

In those moments of profound loneliness, I wanted help, but felt I needed to steer clear of anything that, at the time, I thought made me seem weak (therapists, school counselors, etc.) Had I known then about an anonymous, judgment-free hotline I could call to get the help I so desperately needed, I might not have felt that same self-loathing, isolation.

Still, I was lucky. When I finally decided to be true to myself and come out publicly, my coach, team and entire school rallied behind me. I finally had my depression under control. Unfortunately, many college students don’t get this relief, and too many of them choose a permanent solution to this temporary problem by taking their life.

That’s why I am asking two of America’s largest university systems, the University of California and California State University, to include suicide hotline numbers on their student IDs. Let’s make it a little easier for those in need to find help.

I now have a public platform to make change. News organizations like Fox Sports, SB Nation and USA Today have interviewed me, and I am so glad to be able to show others that it’s ok to be yourself. But I want to take it further.

By putting suicide hotline numbers on student IDs across the country, we can provide students a much-needed outlet for their struggles. Join me in asking the UC and CSU systems to set an example for the rest of America’s universities. Sign my petition asking them to put suicide hotlines on student IDs.

Please click link to read more.

https://www.change.org/p/university-presidents-add-suicide-hotlines-to-ids?source_location=trending_petitions_home_page&algorithm=curated_trending

Colleges are experiencing a growing number of suicides and crime. Many students do not feel they have anywhere to turn. This problem is everyone’s problem. This is not a job for our Government, they are to slow and these issues are urgent now. We have to get involved at the street level in our communities to identify the real issues. We work collectively to push for change. Grassroots efforts can effect change much quicker.  

XO  Melinda 

Your Eyes Touch My Soul

XO M

Important Change.org Petition

Petitioning President Barack Obama

Help the women and girls from my home town who have been kidnapped by ISIS
Feryal Pirali and Yazda, a Global Yazidi Organization.

My name is Feryal. I live in Lincoln, Nebraska, but I grew up in a small town in Iraq called Sinjar. Last August, ISIS kidnapped thousands of women and girls from my hometown. For a year, ISIS has tortured and raped them. Many are teenagers just like me.

Please urge President Obama to help save 3,200 women and children from my community — some as young as 11 — who were captured by ISIS, and have been raped and tortured for the past year.

I and my family are part of the Yazidi, an ancient religious minority who live mostly in Northern Iraq. Because the Yazidi are not Muslim, ISIS extremists want us exterminated. I and my parents were able to escape, but most of my friends and family couldn’t. I think constantly about the girls my age who I was friends with growing up, who are now being raped every day by ISIS extremists.

They can be saved. In fact, 1,800 have escaped or been rescued — but there are still 3,200 Yazidi women and children being held by ISIS. The Yazidi and the local government in Iraq want to rescue them too, but they don’t have the resources they need to get them out. If the United States can step up and provide much-needed support to these groups, they can start to save these women and children. But the more time that goes by, the longer they have to live through this night

If nothing is done, thousands from my community will be doomed to a life of rape and torture by ISIS. Urge President Obama to help save them while there is still time.

Once, one of my friends who had been taken by ISIS managed to get a hold of a phone and called her family, screaming and begging to be rescued. And then she went silent. She, and thousands of other women and girls, desperately need help.

Join me in urging President Obama to support efforts by Yazidi activists, and the local government in Iraq, to rescue Yazidi women and children from ISIS enslavement.

https://www.change.org/p/barack-obama-help-the-yazidi-women-and-girls-enslaved-by-isis?source_location=update_footer&algorithm=curated_trending

You can see the original petition on Change.org link. Please forgive if translation is incorrect.

XO  Melinda

Melinda – There’s a new petition taking off on Change.org, and we think you might be interested in signing it.

From one animal lover to another, don’t leave your animals in a hot car.  Shaggy agrees.  XO Melinda

Petitioning Target

Quit letting dogs suffer in hot cars.

Petition by Kimberly Carrier
Minneapolis, Minnesota

It is truly distressing to see a dog locked in a hot car, struggling to breathe. In a public place, like at a park or on the street, there’s very little we can do to alert the absentee owner about what is going on. We feel so helpless as we watch the dog panic, or worse.

But at a store like Target, we have the opportunity to alert the owner and ensure the safety and survival of their pet. Target stores have loudspeakers that can reach all shoppers and let them know of a dangerous situation going on in the parking lot. But for some reason, Target states they will not allow an announcement via loudspeaker concerning dogs in cars. And on more than one occasion, a Target manager has refused to alert the authorities when a dog has been found suffering in a car.

We are not asking Target to condemn any of its customers. We’re only asking them to take advantage of this great communication tool and institute a company-wide policy to make announcements for dogs trapped in hot cars on their property.
I understand the need for maintaining customer relations, but that should include the customers that are upset by watching dogs suffer. Suffering from distress, heat stroke, dehydration, or possibly death is more inconvenient for a dog than a moment’s embarrassment is for a person.
Let’s ask Target to do what’s right and announce via loudspeaker when a dog is found trapped in a hot car on their premises.

Sign Kimberly’s petition at Change.org.

(August 13, 2015) – TLC has announced plans to air “Breaking the Silence,” a new documentary about child sexual abuse. The documentary will include interviews with members of RAINN’s Speakers Bureau and offer a look inside a Darkness to Light prevention training workshop. The program will air on Sunday, August 30, at 10/9c.

RAINN and Darkness to Light are partnering with TLC on a multi-platform campaign to combat child sexual abuse in the U.S. Later this month, TLC will begin airing public service ads featuring the National Sexual Assault Hotline.

Breaking the Silence will feature interviews with people impacted by sexual abuse, including Traci Lee and her daughter, Ter-rae Lee, who received help from RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline. “I was sexually abused by my father from the age of 11 until 13,” said Ter-rae Lee. “With the support of RAINN, I gained the courage to extract a telephone confession from my father as the district attorney’s office silently listened in. This call led to my father’s conviction, allowing me to feel safe for the first time in years.”

The program will also include the story of survivor Erin Merryn, who has led the campaign to pass Erin’s Law, which requires schools to educate students about sexual abuse. To date, 26 states have passed Erin’s Laws, and the U.S. Senate last month passed a bill to encourage the remaining states to implement such programs.

“We are grateful to the survivors of sexual abuse and their families who are so generously sharing their experiences through the documentary,” said Katherine Hull Fliflet, RAINN’s vice president of communications. “Hearing from survivors can make a big difference in the lives of other families who have been impacted by sexual abuse. We hope that hearing these stories will encourage many others to come forward and get help through the National Sexual Assault Hotline.”

About RAINN
RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) is the nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization and was named one of “America’s 100 Best Charities” by Worth magazine. RAINN created and operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline (800.656.HOPE and online.rainn.org) in partnership with more than 1,000 local sexual assault service providers across the country and operates the DoD Safe Helpline for the Department of Defense. In 2015, the Online Hotline expanded to offer services in Spanish at rainn.org/es. The hotlines have helped more than two million people since 1994. RAINN also carries out programs to prevent sexual violence, help victims and ensure that rapists are brought to justice. For more information about RAINN, please visit rainn.org.

Originally posted February 27, 2006

My grandmother passed away in 2005 from Dementia brought on by two strokes. I’m reposting for caregivers with a loved one with Alzheimer’s or Dementia. For those who have not been a caregiver, the post may help you down the road. Caregivers commit every ounce of energy to keep their loved one comfortable, take care of yourself. Your body can physically break down. Due to her lack of memory it’s hard to take an eye off her, 24/7. I was fortunate we had hospice care, allowing Gramps to play domino’s everyday until the last months.  He was strong in accepting his life changed dramatically. He never complained. 

A month ago my grandmother fell and broke her hip, a bad situation for any 85-year-old. Made worse with the memory loss. The hospital had the worst staff.. She’s home after a week in the hospital and another in a nursing home. That was hard on me, thinking about leaving her there and the response when Gramps wasn’t at her side. I took the grave shift and slept on floor next to her. 

My mind runs to at high level by switching to what I call “caregiver mode”. I can manage tons of information, what drugs each takes, scheduling appointments, discuss test results or anything needed to take care of two people who are dying and “switch back” when at home.

Before the fall, my grandmother knew me and though our conversations were limited, I enjoyed sharing  memories with her. She really enjoyed a photo book I put together that had many photos of her beloved dog, Blackie. Thinking about Blackie always made her smile and even though he died twenty years ago she remembered like it was today.

Driving to their house one day, tears started rolling down my face. I could not stop crying. It took a few minutes to figure out what was causing so much pain. I switched from caregiver to granddaughter.  My grandmother no longer knew me. We would not share our memories again. I knew the day would come and  prayed our memories calmed her in some way. Seeing her memory fade by the days was harder than I imagined. I’m blessed being a caregiver to both grandparents  

I”m miss my granny and think of her several times a day.

XO Melinda