Your Garden needs gentle care and attention throughout the year. Of course, in the spring and summer, we clean away the winter debris, ready for outdoor parties and barbecues. Or simply just to relax in your little private space.
However, when the winter is coming upon us, leaves from a Fall, as well as the severe weather, can cause damage to your garden. It is very important that you take a couple of steps to get your garden looking gorgeous.
Throughout the autumnal months, there will be many leaves falling, and a lot of rain too. It is very easy for your garden to go from clean and tidy to look a little bit messy, and it eventually will become hard to keep tidy.
Head out and pick up all of the debris; then set it aside because you can use this for a protective layer of mulch for your seedlings.
Take a pair of shears or some secateurs and strip away any loose or dead branches.
Furniture
If you have furniture in your garden, it is a great idea now to buy some furniture covers; this can protect your furniture when the weather gets more severe. Bring your furniture over the winter months also makes it much easier to clean when springtime comes around.
Now is also the perfect time to cover your barbecue or put it in the shed, ready for use next year.
Pond
Depending on what type of pond, you will change how you need to prepare it for the winter months. If you have wildlife in your pond, it is essential that you prepare it correctly for the winter months. Getting a pond maintenance services company out to check over your pond it’s a great idea and can avoid any costly repairs or severe damage over the winter months.
Bottom to top
You must start at the bottom and work your way up. Sweep up as much as possible, and also, it is a great time to scrub your patio or your decking. This will mean there is limited damage or weathering over the fall and winter months.
To clean your decking, you simply need to have a firm, stiff brush and apply pressure or use a pressure washer. The pressure washer, of course, being in the fastest way to clean those stains.
If you have plans that are dead or dying, you might have many planters that can be good and used for springtime planting. Remove all of the dead or dying plants and their roots and put them into your compost if you have one.
Driving is highly convenient and it is the easiest way of getting from A to B. Public transport can be useful, but you rely on the stations being positioned perfectly, and there will always be delays. Another alternative is to get a taxi or an Uber, but you also have to deal with possible waiting times, alongside annoying drivers and extortionate prices.
No, nothing is easier than hopping in your car and driving to wherever you need to go. Nevertheless, you have to recognize that there are times where you should not get behind the wheel of your car. It is simply unsafe for you to do so in certain circumstances, and here are some clear warning signs that you should either walk, book a cab, or find the nearest train/bus home:
You can’t keep your eyes open
A lot of the instances on this list may relate to times where you have been out having fun with friends. However, there could be instances where you finish a day of work and it is unsafe for you to drive. Have you had a really tough day that started early and finished late? Were you on your feet the whole time using up a lot of energy? If so, you might be so physically exhausted that you can barely keep your eyes open. Were you borderline falling asleep at work before it was time to leave? This is not a good sign at all!
You can relate this to other aspects of your life as well – even if you’re home and you feel tired, it’s not a good idea to head out and pick someone up, no matter how much they pester you. Tiredness kills, just ask any elite car accident lawyers and they will back this up. Too many accidents and deaths are caused by someone falling asleep at the wheel. You may feel like this won’t happen to you, but it is not worth it. Don’t drive your car – find another way home safely, or spend the night in your vehicle and drive in the morning.
Your reactions are slow
This is more of an issue for people of a certain age, though there are situations where it can apply to younger people too. If you have reached an age where your reactions are exceedingly slow, do you think it is wise to get behind the wheel of a car? In some countries, tests are done every year to ensure that elderly people still have the reactions to drive. When they no longer do, their licenses are revoked. It sounds harsh, but it’s further proof that you can’t drive if your reactions are too slow.
For younger people, there can be all sorts of scenarios where your reactions are slower than usual. For instance, perhaps you have just been to the dentist and the effects of anesthesia are still lingering. Your mind isn’t as fast as it usually is, and your reactions have slowed down. Of course, there are other reasons your reactions can be slow, but we will discuss them in the next point coming up.
You’ve been drinking alcohol
Have you had any alcohol to drink? There is technically a limit that determines how much alcohol you can drink before it is unsafe to drive. Nevertheless, a good rule of thumb is to just avoid driving if you’ve been drinking. The problem with the limit is that it has to apply to the entire population. You may feel the effects of alcohol after just one drink, even though you’re under the limit and technically safe to drive.
As mentioned above, a key sign that you are feeling the effects is if your reactions slow down. Of course, slurred words and just a general feeling of tipsiness will also be key warning signs. Don’t get in your car and drive if you have been drinking, it is much safer to find alternative ways of going home.
You’re too stressed
Got a lot on your mind? If that’s the case, maybe it’s a good idea to avoid driving until you feel more relaxed. Stressed driving means you’re driving while distracted, which could lead to accidents. Before you drive, focus on breathing deeply and finding a more zen state. Avoid thinking about other things and you should be good to go.
The next time you spot any of these warning signs, take a step back from your vehicle. It is not safe for you to drive, and you need to find a different way of getting home safely.
We celebrate International Self–CareDay. This day was established in 2011, and the focus is on the awareness of the importance of self-care and empowering people with the knowledge and ability on how to be active participants in their own wellness.
Whether you spend it on a hike, with your pet, or curled up with a good book, taking time to care for yourself will go a long way towards improving your mental health.
It builds confidence, relieves stress, and lays a foundation for wellness. On July 24th, Self-Care Day, and everyday, Crisis Text Line wants you make time for what matters.
Have a great Self Care Day and please be sure to take extra time for yourself, no-one is more important than you and your health.
Driving gives you a lot of freedom. When you own a car, and you’ve got a driver’s license, you can get on the road and drive to any destination you want, whenever you want. You don’t need to rely on public transport or family and friends to take you places.
That all sounds great, however driving a car isn’t without its disadvantages. Some people don’t realize that driving can negatively impact their mental health in several different ways. Take a look at the following examples; some of them might apply to you:
1. Other People’s Bad Driving
It should come as no surprise that the top reason for many people experiencing a negative impact on their mental health from driving is other people’s bad driving. A momentary lapse in concentration, for example, is enough to cause a multi-vehicle collision.
Both new and seasoned drivers will find it stressful to drive at times because they have to keep perceiving the actions of other road users. As a result, that can also make those anxious drivers feel exhausted by the end of their journeys.
2. Car Accidents
Let’s face it: getting involved in a car accident is never a pleasant experience for everyone involved. While many collisions are minor and don’t cause lasting effects, some car accidents can be pretty severe and potentially life-changing.
For some people, getting involved in a car accident means using a car accident lawyer to claim compensation for vehicle damage and medical bills, taking time off work, and even mentally preparing themselves for driving again. Car accidents can be very stress-inducing.
3. Range Anxiety
It’s no secret the future of driving will involve having a car or truck that doesn’t contain a gas or diesel engine and instead contains batteries and electric motors. There are many EVs (electric vehicles) on the market these days already.
The problem is, most vehicles don’t offer long ranges like what you might expect from gas and diesel engines. At present, only car brands like Tesla offer long ranges from their EVs – but at a price.
Range anxiety can severely impact people’s mental health because they fear “breaking down” far away from home or a familiar destination. Still, as technology develops, the fear of range anxiety should decrease soon.
4. Unfamiliar Vehicles
If you buy a new car or you have a job that involves driving different vehicles each, it can take some time to familiarize yourself with “new” cars. For example, you’ll have to spend time learning the controls and dealing with different ways to change gears.
Driving unfamiliar vehicles can add varying levels of stress and anxiety to a person, depending on their past driving experiences. It can be easy to advise people with such stresses to avoid driving unfamiliar cars and trucks. However, it’s often unavoidable for them.
5. Unfamiliar Locations
When you drive your car or truck in your local area, you will understand and quickly memorize the roads and potential hazard zones. You’ll also familiarize yourself with various shortcuts to avoid traffic, for instance.
Unfortunately, many road users can find traveling to unfamiliar destinations very stressful and anxiety-inducing. They will also feel pressured to avoid taking wrong turns by always studying their GPS, and they’ll find it hard to “tune out” passengers talking in their vehicles.
As you can appreciate, people that experience such stress and anxiety should avoid jobs where their work often takes them to unfamiliar locations. Otherwise, they could do their mental health more harm than good.
6. Unfamiliar Passengers
Getting a job as a cab or Uber driver might seem like an excellent way to make extra money on the side of a day job. It may even seem like a suitable career option for people looking for a flexible way to earn a living, especially if those individuals enjoy driving.
The sad truth is some people new to driving cabs might end up feeling anxious about ferrying around strangers in their vehicles. As you can appreciate, there can sometimes be a significant health and safety risk of picking up passengers you’ve never met before.
Attacks on cab and Uber drivers are rare, but they do happen. If you’re someone that feels anxious about putting yourself in a potentially unsafe situation like that, it can make sense to look for an alternative option, such as fast food delivery.
Final Thoughts
Driving can be an enjoyable pastime. However, it’s worth keeping in mind that some people can get negatively impacted by their experiences.
Ever silently berate yourself at work for not standing up for a colleague, letting people say things that are inaccurate or misleading, or just allowing others to talk over you?
“At work, you don’t always say what you think needs to be said, and it’s not just you,” says Molly Tschang, a consultant, executive coach and business consultant, in a TEDxBeaconStreet Talk. “Your co-workers are holding back, too.”
All this tongue-biting is not only self-sabotaging, but it’s detrimental to your team and your workplace. That’s because when you hold back, “neither you nor your organization are fulfilling your true potential,” explains Tshang, who helps CEOs and senior management leaders communicate more effectively.
Of course, it’s not always so easy to speak up. Tschang offers four tips to help you do it skillfully.
1. Drop anything that’s getting in your way
Before your meeting, presentation or call, get ready. “You can make the work harder or easier before you utter a single word,” says Tschang. “Let go of emotions that won’t help you objectively see the situation or come across the way you want to be heard.”
2. Set the right tone
You may be feeling annoyed, impatient, apprehensive or anxious, but try to focus on your positive feelings — like curiosity, excitement, confidence and gratitude — instead. Ask yourself this, suggests Tschang: “Would you rather help a complaining colleague or one who first acknowledges and appreciates you? Would your boss be more receptive if you’re defeatist and timid, or hopeful and self-assured? Choose the energy that supports how you want to be perceived and the work to be done.”
3. Make space for other voices — and not just the loud ones
According to Tschang, many meetings — and organizations — can be divided into two camps: the noisies and the quiets. She explains that “quiets are the voices or viewpoints we don’t hear enough of,” while “noisies are the dominant voices hogging airtime. Their opinions can sway the group’s thinking.” But she emphasizes that “it’s not good or bad to be either. The opportunity is to benefit from all voices.”
Ideally, the meeting leader will step in to ensure that the noisies and quiets are more or less equally represented. But that doesn’t always happen. However, “any member, including you, can and needs to raise awareness” — so you can bring attention to the fact that either some extroverts are preventing others from being heard or some introverts aren’t getting a chance to enter the discussion.
For example, if noisy Sam is going on and on, you could jump in as soon as he takes a breath and say, “Sam, I appreciate your passion and expertise. We’re fortunate for it. I’m actually a bit lost. Would you kindly sum up your main points in a sentence or two?”
4. Listen
In addition to clearing the way for quiets to talk, you can do the same for people who are expressing less conventional ideas. “You must hear all relevant voices, especially the dissenting or unpopular ones,” says Tschang. Especially if your meeting requires your group to reach a consensus, this will allow you to address potential misunderstandings or disagreements before they escalate or develop into a bigger problem.
And after you — politely — overthrow the noisies, resist the urge to take over the meeting with your own opinions. “As MIT Media Labs research tells us, members of high-performing teams talk and listen roughly equally,” says Tschang. “They keep contributions short and sweet.”
If you still feel nervous about speaking up after reading this advice, realize that your input might actually be helpful to others. After all, many of us are so caught up in our own worlds and with our own issues that we may not realize the impact we’re having on others. As Tshang puts it, “If someone felt disrespected by you or thought you were missing key information, wouldn’t you want to know?”
And if you’ve thought, “What’s the use of saying something? It’s not going to make any difference,” think again. While it’s true you can’t single handedly stop a chatty coworker from dominating meetings, your speaking up can help relieve some of your feeling of powerlessness. “We’re all part of the problem and solution,” says Tschang. “No one needs to accept dysfunction and sit frustrated on the sidelines.” You can also use your voice to ease other people’s frustration and invisibility by spotlighting them.
Speaking skillfully takes time and practice — so be patient with yourself and with your colleagues — but the effort is worth it. “Finding your voice, one that’s effective and authentic to you, is how you can be who you are and say what needs to be said,” Tschang says.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Pamela Stock is a writer based in Brooklyn, New York.
It’s incredible when you think about it. As soon as you were born, your parents and other senior members of your family began to take care of you. Often they would put you well before themselves. So, as they get older, protecting them from harm, in the same way, they protected you as you were growing up is the least you can do. And it’s usually something that children and grandchildren will want to do for their senior family members.
Wanting to protect our loved ones and knowing how to do this, however, are two different things. It can be hard to know just what to do to ensure that those we love are as safe and secure as possible. Read on for some help in this regard so you know what to do and when to start helping. It can make a massive difference to their quality of life and will give you peace of mind.
Sometimes, no matter what else we do and no matter what effort we put in, the best option for our senior loved ones is a care home. Sometimes, this truly is the best option for ensuring that they’ll get the better and more relaxed life that they truly need, and it’s something that Donna Hurley of Fresno advocates for too. When it comes to our senior loved ones, they truly need and deserve nothing but the best, the best safety, the best medical care, and the best day-to-day activities too
When in a care home or nursing home, they will get the attention they need, and they will therefore stay safe from harm at all times. If they have any kind of condition or chronic illness, there will be dedicated professionals able to help them 24/7. Try as you might, this is not going to be something you can necessarily do yourself, and although the move to a nursing home can be hard, it can also be for the best for everyone, and it is certainly a form of protection.
To truly help and to ensure that you are doing the right thing, it’s wise to research the nursing home as much as possible. If any former patients have had to use trusted nursing home abuse attorneys, or if there have been many complaints, for example, then it’s probably not the right place to go. Choose well, and everyone will be happy and safe.
Protect Them From Scams
Scams are everywhere, and the more technology we rely on, the more scammers and hackers try to get us to give them our sensitive, important information. The more you know about technology, and the more you’re aware of these scams, the easier they are to ignore, and you won’t find yourself paying out for something that you shouldn’t do.
When it comes to older relatives, they might not be quite so technologically savvy. They might use a tablet, smartphone, or laptop to access the internet, send emails, and connect with their family, but that doesn’t mean they are experts. In fact, older people are often subject to these scams, perhaps because they don’t know so much about them or because they are simply more trusting, having not grown up with scams all around them like many people do these days. It could even be that out of loneliness, older people engage with scammers much more.
To protect your loved ones as much as possible, help to educate them about scams. If they have trouble remembering, write the information down and keep it next to their phone or computer so they know what tell-tale scam signs they should be looking out for.
Assist With Mobility Issues
For some older adults, losing mobility is a big issue that can cause many problems, both physically and mentally. Falling poses a considerable risk, particularly for individuals suffering from osteoporosis (brittle bones).
Helping to prevent accidents by modifying your loved one’s house or assisting them in moving to a more accessible place can keep them safe. You might help by putting grab bars in the bathroom or adding a walk-in bath, or you could ensure that your loved one has the proper mobility aids to use both inside and outside to help them go around securely.
Secure Their Home
Another crucial aspect in remaining safe is home security. If you want to keep your loved one protected, you can do a lot in terms of ensuring their home is safe and secure. You should make sure their windows and doors have good locks on them, for example, even changing the locks entirely if you’re not sure who else has a key.
It is also a good idea to install an alarm system or service an existing one to make sure it’s working as it should be. Installing modern technology like security cameras or a camera doorbell is another option. You may be able to keep an eye on your loved one due to this (with their permission, of course). Keeping your elderly loved ones safe from anything that might hurt them will undoubtedly ease your mind.
Welcome to the new weekend edition of Today in History. I hope you enjoy as much as you did the Fun Facts posts. Have an awesome weekend.
1955
Disneyland, Walt Disney’s metropolis of nostalgia, fantasy and futurism, opens on July 17, 1955. The $17 million theme park was built on 160 acres of former orange groves in Anaheim, California, and soon brought in staggering profits. Today, Disneyland hosts more than 18 million visitors a year, who spend close to $3 billion.
As part of a mission aimed at developing space rescue capability, the U.S. spacecraft Apollo 18 and the Soviet spacecraft Soyuz 19 rendezvous and dock in space. As the hatch was opened between the two vessels, commanders Thomas P. Stafford and Aleksei Leonov shook hands and …read more
On July 17, 1967, one of the oddest musical pairings in history comes to an end when Jimi Hendrix dropped out as the opening act for teenybopper sensations The Monkees. The booking of psychedelic rock god Jimi Hendrix with the made-for-television Monkees was the brainchild of …read more
The final “Big Three” meeting between the United States, the Soviet Union and Great Britain takes place towards the end of World War II. The decisions reached at the conference ostensibly settled many of the pressing issues between the three wartime allies, but the meeting was …read more
Destined to make a fortune from the furs of the American West, John Jacob Astor is born in modest circumstances in the small German village of Waldorf. Although the number of foreign immigrants to the U.S. who succeeded in striking it rich is often exaggerated in the popular …read more
An automobile accident is one of the worst sounds you will ever hear, whether you are the driver, passenger, or even a witness. But what happens after the ambulance arrives and whisk the injured to the hospital? How do you move forward?
A car crash doesn’t usually have to be with another car. It can be with a pole, wall, truck, or even a tree. You not only have to come to terms with loss or the pain of your injuries but there are also legal and insurance matters that you need to deal with. No matter the cause of the accident, you need to let your insurance house know right away. They will let you know what information they need from you to process your claim. Some information they will need is when and how it happened, the other driver’s details and insurance details, and any police statements. If a truck is involved or you are the truck owner, it is best to get an expert trucking witness involved. Because of the impending legal matter, these experts can help you with a report and litigation matters.
PTSD
Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is not only for war heroes. Anyone who was threatened with violence, death, rape, or severe injury can have PTSD. That includes if you were in a car crash or witnessed a horrible car crash. The traumatic experience causes the psychiatric disorder. There are 4 types of PTSD:
avoidance,
intrusive memories,
changes in physical and emotional reactions,
and negative changes in thinking and mood.
You might not know if you have PTSD. Still, good indicators are if you keep re-experiencing the car crash, having nightmares or flashbacks of the car crash, and even avoidance of the place where the car crash happened. One of the most effective ways to treat PTSD is Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).
The survivor of a car crash can be anyone who was involved. Any parent’s nightmare come true is finding out their child was in the car crash and they didn’t survive. The absolute devastation and grief are unthinkable. But life does go on, even if you wish that it doesn’t. It’s hard to celebrate the lives they have lived, even if it was only for a few years. But, you need to realize that you are not alone and that there are people on the sidelines waiting to help you. They are just waiting for you to push on their button. Of course, friends and family are your first line of defense. Still, sometimes you need an outsider to dump your anger, resentment of the world’s unfairness and reveal the scary thoughts running through your head. Psychiatrists are professionally trained to know how to handle and walk you through the healing process. Or maybe you want to talk to people who also went through the same things as you? Reaching out to support groups doesn’t make you look weak. Instead, it will make you come to terms with your new normal without your child in your life.
Your pain doesn’t stop when the car stops dead; there are many steps you need to take after the crash. Whether you are grieving, need legal advice, or treatment after a car crash, you need help. Any kind of help is available with a few clicks of the button.
I made that up while trying to explain to an employee that it doesn’t matter what we think, it’s what our client thinks. If they think it’s real, it’s real to them. We can’t tell them they are wrong, we have to change their perception.
Aging is part of life and inevitable, but that doesn’t mean the transition will come easy. You’re not alone if you’re worried about your future and getting older.
Many challenges come with aging and no longer being tied to a job, depending upon when you choose to retire. One essential aspect of your overall well-being and health is your mental health and your mind. Stay sharp, with it, and excited about life by applying the following tips. This way you can prepare for your future with a positive outlook and enthusiasm instead of worry.
Stay on A Sleep Schedule
You can stay mentally well as you age by sleeping well and getting enough rest. It may help to stay on a sleep schedule and get up and go to bed around the same time each day. While you want to get enough sleep you also don’t want to sit around all day and stay in bed all the time if you want to keep mentally well. The right amount of sleep will help repair your mind and body and ensure you feel your best and can function well each day.
Choose the Right Living Conditions
You’ll feel mentally better when you’re taking good care of yourself and not stressing about surviving and getting by each day. Stay mentally well as you age by choosing the right living conditions for your health and situation. For instance, independent living may be an ideal option for you versus assisted living if you can handle daily self-care activities but want to live with others your age and maintain a social life. You can learn more online about the benefits of this type of community and what’s best for you so you can make the right choice and enjoy your later years.
See Your Doctor
Another way to stay mentally well as you age is to visit your doctor regularly. It’s important that you have frequent checkups as you get older and that you’re both on the same page. Not only is visiting a physician important for your physical health but you may consider seeing a therapist if you feel your mental health is slipping or you’re feeling depressed and down. Take good care of yourself by being responsible in this area and not waiting until you’re sick, ill, or uncomfortable to make a phone call and schedule an appointment. Be open and honest with your doctors so they can help you and come up with the best treatment plan for your condition or situation.
Exercise & Eat Well
It’s not just about what you think when it comes to your mental health. Your body also plays a role in how you feel mentally and physically. Therefore, commit to exercising regularly and eating a healthy diet to stay in the best condition possible overall. Exercise will help you manage and reduce any stress you’re feeling and cope with any anxiety you have about getting older. Between diet and exercise, you’ll be on the right path to ensuring you can maintain and even boost your mental health in the long run. You’ll also have more energy and will be in a better mood when you eat well and exercise.
Challenge Your Mind
It’s also essential that you challenge your mind daily if you want to stay mentally well as you age. It may be that you wake up and complete crossword puzzles or that you read books and take in new information. You’ll be getting smarter and wiser for it and helping to keep your mental health intact. You may also find these types of activities and various brain exercises to be not only challenging and interesting but fun and exciting. There are also many apps and activities you can download on your phone so you can challenge your mind when you’re on the go and no matter where you are throughout your day.
Socialize & Stay Engaged
Another way to stay mentally well as you age is to socialize and stay engaged with life and your surroundings. Build and nurture relationships with others and get out there and find activities you enjoy doing and that helps you stay connected. Keep a social calendar of events and make sure you’re making plenty of time for friends, family, and fun hobbies and gatherings. It’ll put a smile on your face and make you feel more relaxed and help you enjoy life more. It can be easy to isolate and distance yourself when you get older and aren’t working but this may soon make you feel lonely and disconnected. Make an effort to socialize and interact with others and you’ll likely find you feel a lot better mentally.
Ask for Help
You should never be ashamed or afraid to ask for help when you need it. You may harm your mental health unintentionally if you try to complete your entire to-do list of tasks and take care of your health needs all by yourself. Everyone needs help once in a while and you shouldn’t be shy about asking for it from the people who love you. Reach out and let people know what you need and what will make your life easier. Not only may you need physical help but it might be that you want emotional help or support if someone you love passes away or you’re dealing with managing all the changes that are occurring in your life.
Volunteer or Care for Others
Sometimes caring for others and lending a helping hand is all you need to turn around your attitude and outlook for the better. Improve your mental health and well-being by volunteering your time or donating your money to a cause that’s special and meaningful to you. Giving back is an excellent way to put a smile on your face and make you feel like part of a larger community and world. You’ll not only feel good about yourself for doing so but you may also meet new and unique people in the process who will give you a fresh perspective on life.
Avoid Too Much Alcohol
Drinking too much alcohol can be detrimental to your health over time. It can especially harm your mental health and mood. Therefore, stay mentally well by avoiding drinking too much alcohol and finding other ways to relax and spend your time. For you it may be taking walks in nature, reading a book, or taking a warm bath. Commit to drinking more water and hydrating so you feel full of energy each day. You may be prone to skipping your workouts or choosing unhealthy and fatty foods if you drink a lot of alcohol as well.
Talk About Your Problems
You might be feeling overwhelmed or anxious because you have problems you’re dealing with in your life. You may be more inclined to keep issues to yourself and not open up if you live alone in your older years as well. However, if you want to stay mentally well then it’s wise to be more vulnerable and talk about your problems and what’s going on in your life. You’ll feel much better after getting this information off your chest and out into the open. Reach out to people who you trust and who are willing to offer advice and support when you need it.
Independence is something that most people strive for in some way. Being independent doesn’t have to mean being alone all the time or never asking anyone for help. But it does allow you to cope on your own and to be able to pursue the things that you want without having to rely on other people all the time. If you want to be more independent, some of the things that can help you to do it are practical things that are useful to have. Other essentials to help you gain more independence are skills that you can learn. Take a look at some of these things that could help you.
Being able to go where you want definitely helps you to be more independent. It helps you to get a job where you want, without having to rely on other people or public transport. It means you can go out when you feel like it, whether it’s to see friends or go grocery shopping. Getting your driver’s license is a must if you want to increase your independence. Looking at used cars for sale will also help you to get your own vehicle at an affordable price. With your own car, you can drive whenever and wherever you need to.
Your Own Money
Financial independence is a huge part of being a more independent person. Even if you share your finances with a spouse or partner, it’s still a good idea for you both to bring in income and to have your own spending money or savings. You might use a joint account for your shared expenses, but have a separate bank account for extra spending money. Taking control of your finances can help you to maintain independence, from setting up a savings account to ensuring you have an emergency fund.
Your Own Goals and Dreams
Independence is also about independent thought and creating your own path for yourself. Do you want to decide what to do with your life, or do you just want to follow other people’s suggestions? By ensuring you have your own dreams and goals, you can go after what you want and build an independent life for yourself. That might include what you want to do for your career or goals that you want to set in your personal life, such as having a family or going traveling.
The Ability to Spend Time Alone
Some people love to be alone, but others struggle not to be around other people. However, being unable to spend time with yourself can be unhealthy. Sometimes it leads to people hopping from relationship to relationship so that they never have to be single or not being able to spend even a few minutes without someone else’s company. But learning how to be on your own, love yourself, and even take yourself out on dates can be very healthy for your independence and self-esteem.
To become more independent, work on the skills, mindset, and practical things that will help you to be less reliant on others.
In a search and rescue scramble that gripped the world’s attention for more than two weeks, the last of 12 Thai youth soccer players and their coach are safely rescued and transported to a local hospital on July 10, 2018. On June 23, 2018, Ekkapol Chantawong, 25, and his players, …read more
In Auckland harbor in New Zealand, Greenpeace’s Rainbow Warrior sinks after French agents in diving gear plant a bomb on the hull of the vessel. One person, Dutch photographer Fernando Pereira, was killed. The Rainbow Warrior, the flagship of international conservation group …read more
On July 10, 1943, the Allies begin their invasion of Axis-controlled Europe with landings on the island of Sicily, off mainland Italy. Encountering little resistance from the demoralized Sicilian troops, the British 8th Army under Field Marshal Bernard Law Montgomery came ashore …read more
The United States Patent Office issues the Swedish engineer Nils Bohlin a patent for his three-point automobile safety belt “for use in vehicles, especially road vehicles” on July 10, 1962. Four years earlier, Sweden’s Volvo Car Corporation had hired Bohlin, who had previously …read more
On July 10, 1850, Vice President Millard Fillmore is sworn in as the 13th president of the United States. President Zachary Taylor had died the day before, five days after falling ill with a severe intestinal ailment on the Fourth of July. Fillmore was only the second man to …read more
I’ve read books most of my life and some have made an impact on me personally and others professionally. Several of the books below are religious but are great reads that could change your life. Here’s a small list of books you may want to check out.
The Worst Hard Time by Timothy Egan
If you live in Texas or want to know about life in Texas during the 1930s, this is the book to read. When I bought the book I had not heard about the Dust Bowl so the book was a huge surprise. I can’t imagine living in drought, depression, and hopelessness. One story that sticks with me is an entire family was coming back from church and a dust storm blew through and killed the entire family, just suffocated them in the vehicle. Another story that hangs with me is how everyday people would take wet towels and put them in windows to prevent the dust from coming into the house. You have to remember this was also in the heat of summer when you could not open your windows.
Seven Choices by Elizabeth Harper Neeld, Ph.D.In
I bought Seven Choices when my gramps died. His death knocked the air out of me and I did know how to move forward. I had my therapist but knew I needed something extra to help me walk thru the phases of grief. It’s an interesting personal story and the learning you get is thru the learning she finds in her own life. The book helped me so much I know if I need it again it will be there.
Mad Mary by Liz Curtis Higgs
Mad Mary is a religious book that takes you by surprise. The book portrays Mary Magdalene as a homeless woman who people think has a mental issue. They shun her and treat her poorly. It’s an easy read and the bottom line is you never know who someone is and who you are treating badly. I have the highest regard for Mary Magdalene so it makes the book more special.
The Passion of Christ
I read this book after seeing the movie and I was surprised I could cry even more. What can you say? The story of Jesus’ death is profound, leaves me speechless, and sobbing. If you want to read about the last of day of Jesus life, his journey of carrying the cross to his final resting place this is the book for you
Man Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
I was blessed with a great teacher in boarding school who gave me books that changed my life. The most important book was Man’s Search For Meaning. I read this book at 13 years old and have read it many times since. How can you not appreciate the life you have after reading what Viktor Frankl went thru to stay alive. Viktor is a Holocaust survivor and an extraordinary man. He managed to engage his mind every day to keep learning in order to stay sane. This is a must-read book for everyone of all ages.
Shock by Kitty Dukakis and Larry Tye
Kitty Dukakis suffered terrible depression during her husband’s time in politics and she reached a point where she couldn’t go on any longer. Just like you or I, she checked herself into a Psychiatric Hospital and received Electroconvulsive Treatments in order to come out of her darkness. She raw, not pretenses, no special treatment just a patient who is suffering from severe depression. I read this the first time shortly after I spent time having ECT treatments myself. It was comforting to read about someone who is in the same place, same struggle, and see them come out on the other side.
90 Minutes in Heaven by Don Piper and Cecil Murphey
This is a short read book that will have you pulled in from the first minute. It’s a true story about a horrific car accident and the extraordinary measure the medical staff went thru to save Don’s life. During that tie, Don dies and he shares his account of his journey to the other side. It will open your eyes, make you remember life is short, and say what you have to say today not tomorrow.
Hope you find something you may not have heard of and want to take a look at it.
When people are trying out a new therapist, they often tend to put the therapist in the driver’s seat during their initial sessions. But this isn’t quite right — the client should be an equal partner too. What else should people keep in mind during that process? And how can they figure out if a therapist is right for them?
To answer these questions, Brianne Patrice, executive director of Sad Girls Club, a nonprofit dedicated to destigmatizing mental health and wellness in the Black and brown community, spoke with Taylor Blossom, clinical mental health therapist and practitioner at Well WildFlower. The following advice was adapted from that conversation.
1. If you’re a person of color or a member of the LGBTQIA+ community or another specific community, think about how important it is for you to find a therapist who identifies with your lived experience
In most cases, you’re going to foster a relationship easier and quicker with someone who is similar to you. I don’t think it’s impossible to find an excellent therapist who is different from you, but I do think it’s easier to do therapy with someone who’s more like you, especially if it’s your first time easing into that space.
You should also consider your particular issues. For instance, if you’re going to therapy because the world is feeling heavy and you’re trying to process and navigate what it means to be a Black person, then a Black therapist will likely be of most benefit.
Personally, as a woman of color, I will only see a therapist of color because I think all my experiences are shaped by that context in my life. But not everybody thinks like that, so consider your issues and how they affect you.
2. In your first session, ask the therapist about their style
I love it when first-time clients ask about my therapeutic framework, which is basically a therapist’s perspective and how they think problems are best solved. There are several different therapeutic frameworks — some common ones are psychoanalysis, cognitive behavioral therapy and person-centered therapy.
But I know when I first started therapy, I had no idea what a therapeutic framework was. So another way you can find out their approach is by asking them: “How do you do therapy?”
Their answers — whether it’s to the therapeutic framework question or to the “how do you do therapy” question — will tell you how they intend to work with you. For example, I’m a person-centered therapist so in our time together, I’m going to want to talk about all of the aspects of your life. It’s my treatment plan to address all of you, the whole person.
Meanwhile, a cognitive behavioral therapist will ask you about your thoughts and the behaviors that go along with them, while a psychoanalytic therapist would want to explore how you grew up and how you feel like that’s impacting you now.
If you’re going into therapy with a clear intention of what you want to work on in yourself, you’re going to want a style that goes along with that. In this case, it can be worth your doing some research on frameworks beforehand. But if you’re unsure about what you want to explore, you may find that different frameworks or styles could work for you.
Also, ask your therapist about what sort of homework they typically prescribe to clients and what activities they like to do in their sessions. Many therapists do more than just talk — they may incorporate art therapy, movement therapy, sound, healing or meditations.
3. And expect to be asked about your previous experiences with therapy
One of the first questions a therapist will ask when meeting a new client is: “Have you been in therapy before?” If your answer is yes, their next question will usually be: “What worked for you and what didn’t?” And if your answer is no, the next question should be, “What do you think your goal is for this space?”
So before you go into your first session, think about how you’ll respond because how you answer these questions will be incredibly helpful — both for you and for your therapist.
4. If you’ve never been to a therapist before, here’s how to figure out the right type of person for you
One way to evaluate whether they’re a good fit for you is to think about who you normally ask for help in your life — whether it’s a sibling, parent or close friend. What about that relationship and how they relate to you are most helpful to you?
Some people just need to vent, other people want feedback, other people want tools and to know what they can do next, and others want a mixture of both. If you already know what helps you, then you can know what kind of therapist you’re looking for.
Keep in mind that therapy is 100 percent your time. Your therapist should not have their own agenda. They should not have anything but themselves and their internal resourcing to show up and respond to what you’re bringing up.
5. Give yourself six sessions to see whether they’re a good fit for you
In the US, six sessions is typically the minimum amount of time that therapists are given to come up with a diagnosis (something they need to do for these sessions to be covered by health insurance). But even if your therapist is not covered by health insurance, six weeks is still a good amount of time to spend with them.
Why? It’s because we’re ever-evolving as people. At your first session, even though you’re being vulnerable, you’ll likely show up as the best version of you. In other words, the therapist will be in the teacher seat and you’ll be in the student seat, trying to be the best student possible. Even though you may not consciously be playing that role, it’s what most of us have internalized.
Over six sessions, the therapist can observe how you fluctuate. They’ll get more information about how you handle problems outside of therapy and in the real world, which can give them insight into an appropriate treatment plan. And by treatment plan, I don’t mean something as formal as “We’re going to talk about X for X weeks and then do Y.” I just mean how we’re going to deal with whatever is showing up for you.
For a therapist, with some clients it’s easier to see where you’re headed sooner. Some people show up to therapy more ready to do the work than others; they already have their questions and areas to explore. Other people are like, “I’m just here because I feel like I should be, but I don’t know what I’m looking for.” There is no one right way, so I think trying each other out for six weeks should be a standard. That said, if you feel they are absolutely wrong for you, it’s OK to stop seeing them sooner.
6. Your six sessions are over, and the therapist isn’t right for you — be direct
Make your exit similar to how you’d end any other relationship in your life — with respect and with transparency. In your last session, the top three things you should communicate are 1) what didn’t work for you; 2) why you feel now is the time for you to terminate therapy with them; 3) and what you think the therapist could improve on. Since they are someone who’ll be seeing other clients, you want to help them help the next person who will come to them.
Try not to ghost on your therapist. If I were seeing you every week for six weeks, I’m going to worry about your mental health if you’re just gone.
Yes, it will be awkward to give them criticism, but if you can’t model that awkwardness in therapy — which is a safe space for you to do just that — how will you do it in the other parts of your life?
7. When you find the right therapist …
My number-one takeaway is to allow therapy to act as a model space for the rest of your life. It’s your space, so make it yours. It’s the one time and place you get to be as vulnerable and as open as you want, without consequences. So use it to try out some of those things that are uncomfortable for you in the real world.
This post is part of TED’s “How to Be a Better Human” series, each of which contains a piece of helpful advice from people in the TED community; browse through all the posts here.
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Brianne Patrice is a mental health advocate and sensuality doula. She is the executive director of Sad Girls Club, a nonprofit dedicated to destigmatizing the conversation around mental health and wellness within the black and brown community and is founder of Twenty Nine Thirty, a restorative community connecting the dots between sensuality, sexuality, healing and wellness.
Taylor Blossom is a clinical mental health therapist and practitioner whose work specializes in therapeutic consulting, workshop facilitation, and guided meditations for individuals, groups, and companies. Through her impassioned belief that there is space for us all to blossom in the direction of the highest good, Taylor works as the Founder and CEO of Well Wildflower – a community wellness garden for Black women and women of color, host of the hit well-being podcast The Blossom Pod, and a Soul Sessions facilitator for Sad Girls Club.
Most of us have been in its grip before — the alarm goes off, our mind starts whirring away, and before we know it, we’ve done a freefall into worry. Neuroscientist Lisa Feldman Barrett has been there, too, and she tells us how we can stop the spiral.
This post is part of TED’s “How to Be a Better Human” series, each of which contains a piece of helpful advice from someone in the TED community. To see all the posts, go here.
How often does this happen to you?
“You wake up, and as you’re emerging into consciousness, you feel this horrible dread, this real wretchedness. Immediately, your mind starts to race,” says neuroscientist Lisa Feldman Barrett. “You think about all the crap that you have to do at work — you have that mountain of email which you will never dig yourself out of, the phone calls you have to return, and that important meeting across town. You’re going to have to fight traffic, you’ll be late picking your kids up, your dog is sick, and what are you going to make for dinner? Oh my God. What is wrong with my life?”
OK, you may not have the dog, the kids or the meeting across town, but what about the rest — the cascading catalog of to-dos, the sinking feeling that you’re behind even before your day has started, and the headlong tumble into despair?
Whew.
According to Barrett, those last two sentences of the above scenario — the “Oh my God. What is wrong with my life?” part — are especially treacherous. Why? Because too often we come to the sweeping and inaccurate conclusion that our life stinks.
But we don’t have to take this misery lying down, says Barrett. Through her research at the Affective Science Laboratory at Northeastern University in Boston, she has come to some mind-shaking realizations about human emotions. Contrary to what many of us think, our emotions are neither hard-wired into our brains nor are they out of our control. Instead, our emotions are guesses that our brains generate on the fly, based upon our past experiences.
As she explains in her book How Emotions Are Made — read an excerpt here — “Anytime you feel miserable, it’s because you are experiencing an unpleasant effect due to physical sensations. Your brain will try to predict causes for those sensations, and the more concepts you know and the more instances you can construct, the more effectively you can recategorize to manage your emotions and regulate your behavior.”
When we start that AM spiral into anxiety, as Barrett explains, “Your brain is searching to find an explanation for those sensations in your body that you experience as wretchedness.” But, she adds, “Those sensations might not be an indication that anything is wrong with your life … Maybe you’re tired. Maybe you didn’t sleep enough. Maybe you’re hungry. Maybe you’re dehydrated.”
So, the next time you feel gripped by morning dread, she suggests you ask yourself: “Could this have a purely physical cause?”
Check in and see: What’s going on with your body? When the alarm went off, were you roused from a deep sleep and you’re rattled as a result? Or, perhaps you’re too hot, too cold, achy or itchy …
Barrett says, “You have the capacity to turn down the dial on emotional suffering and its consequences for your life by learning how to construct your experiences differently
I’m a believer that every bump in the road prepares us for the next challenge in life but wouldn’t it be nice if we could go back and talk to our younger selves.
My angst started as a small child, as many of you know I was a child of emotional, physical, and sexual abuse. I spend many hours talking to myself trying to make sense of the pain in my life. I would tell that child, your day will come when people who love will walk into your path and change your life forever. You are loved and with love and therapy, all wounds heal.
I would tell that heartbroken teenager that sex doesn’t mean love and love doesn’t always mean love. I cried so many times played across my bed when I found out my boyfriend had cheated on me. My granny consoling me that he wasn’t the right one and the right man would come into my life. If she just had a magic wand to tell me when he would and how long it would take.
When you’re starting your career you’re going to get crappy work, that’s a fact of life. It’s what you do with it that makes the difference in your future. Embrace the worst task, do them to the best of your ability and do it for yourself, not for anyone’s recognition. IF you can do the worst jobs, the ones everyone else pushes aside, someday these skills will pay you back 10 fold.
If you get the chance to take a job you are scared of, you feel is out of your league, take it. Giving it a sincere effort and not succeeding is not failure.
In my 20’s I bought a house, the rent was less than renting an apartment so it sounded like the right decision. Little did I know about all the other expenses that come with keeping up a house. Don’t be fair to eat chicken noodle soup and bologna sandwiches to reach your dream.
During some dark depressive times, I didn’t want to go on. The fight wasn’t worth it, it took too much energy. I loved my family but could not see any light in my life and could not get out of bed. I would say to that woman, listen to your doctor, be honest, listen to that deep voice in your heart and follow it. Fight for life and keep fighting for the life you want.
For the woman I am today, I would say. Don’t be afraid of the future, your health, don’t stop living just to avoid any danger. You have to live, life is worth living and you have to dig deeper for your purpose in life.
A paper in press in General Hospital Psychiatry, and written by Yosaee and colleagues (from Iran and the UK), reports evidence for the benefits of zinc in depression.
What is Zinc?
Zinc is a micronutrient (an essential mineral needed for growth and development). Zinc plays a role in many physiological processes, such as DNAsynthesis, protein production, cell growth, healthy immune function, sense of taste and smell, and the functioning of countless enzymes. Food sources of zinc include animal proteins (e.g., chicken, red meat, and seafood, particularly oysters), but also whole grains, nuts, and legumes.
Zinc supplements have been used for the treatment of a variety of conditions (e.g., colds, wound healing, diarrhea). However, consuming too much zinc can be harmful, so zinc supplements are not usually recommended for healthy people unless they do not get sufficient zinc from food sources or have trouble absorbing zinc.
For example, zinc supplements are sometimes recommended for vegetarians and vegans, individuals with alcohol problems and certain digestive conditions (e.g., inflammatory bowel diseases), and pregnantwomen.
Low zinc levels have been linked with a variety of health conditions (e.g., skin conditions, infections), including mental illness, especially depression. The review by Yosaee et al., described below, investigated the relationship between zinc and depression.
A Review of the Link Between Depression and Zinc Levels
The review began with a search of several databases (e.g., PubMed) for keywords “depression” and “zinc.” Original observational studies and randomized controlled trials (RCTs) in adult populations were included if they used depression as an outcome and zinc as an intervention or exposure factor.
The search resulted in 4,245 articles, from which 13 observational investigations (four cohort and nine cross-sectional designs) and seven RCTs met the final criteria.
Characteristics of the RCTs: 319 participants; 2-12 weeks in duration.
Characteristics of the observational research: 27,296 participants in cross-sectional investigations and 15,852 in cohort investigations.
The meta-analysis of the seven RCTs showed zinc supplementation was associated with a reduction in depression [weighted mean difference (WMD) = −4.15 point; 95% confidence intervals (CI): −6.56, −1.75 point; P < 0.01)].
Furthermore, zinc supplementation reduced depression scores in patients with depression who were not receiving antidepressants.
The results from the four cohort studies showed the highest zinc intake was linked with a nearly 28 percent reduction in the risk of depression [Relative Risks (RR): 0.66; 95% CI: 0.50, 0.82)].
And an analysis of the nine cross-sectional studies found having high zinc levels (serum zinc concentration combined with dietary zinc) was inversely linked with the risk for depression [RR: 0.61; 95% CI: 0.51, 0.70].
In summary, data from different types of studies showed an association between zinc levels and depression.
So, why might zinc be related to a lower risk for depression? The potential mechanisms are speculative and complicated—involving a variety of factors, like oxidative stress, N-methyl-D-aspartate (NMDA), brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF), neurogenesis, cortisol, neural plasticity, and the endocrine and immune system.
Concluding Thoughts on Zinc for Depression
Here is a summary of the main findings of the meta-analysis:
Many depressed individuals appeared to have zinc insufficiency or zinc deficiency (determined by the amount of zinc in their blood and diet).
In cohort investigations, a 28 percent reduction in the risk of depression was seen in those with the highest zinc intake.
In patients with depression who were not treated with antidepressants, zinc supplementation significantly reduced depression.
The antidepressant effects of zinc supplementation were most pronounced in patients with mild to moderate depression.
The researchers note their findings may not be generalizable to healthy individuals (e.g., those without depression). Furthermore, most of the studies used in the analysis were limited in geographical location. Though some of these came from multiple countries (e.g., Germany, Finland, the U.S.), the majority were conducted in Iran and Australia. Therefore, one must await the replication of these findings. And given the correlational nature of the data (i.e. correlation does not mean causation), firm conclusions regarding the effects of zinc on depression cannot be drawn.
Nevertheless, this is not the first review to have observed a link between zinc and depression.
For instance, a 2013 meta-analysis noted depression correlated with lower blood concentration of zinc. That review, based on data from 1,643 depressed patients, concluded, “zinc concentrations were approximately −1.85 mmol/L lower in depressed subjects than control subjects,” and “greater depression severity was associated with greater relative zinc deficiency.” A more recent meta-analysis also found dietary zinc intake was linked with a lower risk for depression. In short, the relationship between zinc and depression is worthy of further research.
If you are depressed and are considering taking zinc supplements—especially if you are not getting enough zinc in your diet or have trouble absorbing zinc—please consult your physician first. As noted earlier, taking too much zinc is harmful, so it is important to determine how much zinc your body requires.
Arash Emamzadeh attended the University of British Columbia in Canada, where he studied genetics and psychology. He has also done graduate work in clinical psychology and neuropsychology in the U.S.
Children are learning a lot more from an earlier age. One area, in particular, they are becoming more accustomed to is technology. In fact, a lot of parents remark that their six-year-old daughter knows how to operate a computer better than they do. One of the main reasons for this is the huge array of games available on the Internet. In this guide, we will look at the relationship between children and mobile phones in further detail.
Children are not merely stopping at desktop computers and laptops anymore. More and more children are getting used to mobile technology through gaming as well. This is because of the wealth of different gaming apps available. Nowadays children can get their favorite games available through their very own mobile phone. This means that they can play games on the way to and from school. They can also play games when someone else from the family is using the computer. They can even play a few gaming apps whilst they are in bed. Mobile technology presents more gaming opportunities and, therefore, it is little surprise that children are deciding to use it. For parents, this means they need to source cost-effective packages, and they also need to make a dedicated effort to make sure that their children are not on their phones too much.
Playing with their friends
Mobile technology allows children to play against each other even if they are not together. Children usually simply need to connect to the WiFi connection in their home and they can then speak to their friends and play against them via the different apps that are available. Furthermore, gaming through using mobile phones is easier to do together than playing via a laptop or computer is. After all, it is unlikely your children and their friends will take their computers with them whenever they meet up. Moreover, it is hard for all of the children to gather around the computer and play. However, a mobile phone is small and compact and therefore all children can sit together and play on their smartphones.
Mobile technology is taking over
It is great that children are embracing mobile technology through gaming because the mobile Internet is booming. People can access their emails anywhere, they can log on to Facebook when they are on the train, they can play games whenever they like, and this is the reason why mobile internet is only going to rise. The fact that children are adapting to this is only going to serve them well later in life. While you need to monitor activity, it is also important that children are prepared for the connected world. You can redirect texts and use software to monitor your child.
All in all, there is no denying that mobile technology is taking over, and it is wise for our children to get used to this. However, it should not take over their lives and their usage does need to be monitored.
When someone you love is having a panic attack, it can be tricky to know how to help. By responding with understanding and empathy, you can make a true difference.
Whether it’s your friend, relative, or partner, chances are you know someone who has had, or will have, a panic attack. If you happen to be nearby when it happens, it’s only natural to want to do everything in your power to understand and support them.
Research shows that at least 13%Trusted Source of people will experience a panic attack in their lifetime.
In the United States, 1 in 3 people will have an anxiety disorder at some point in their lives, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. Statistics show that women are twice as likely as men to have a panic disorder.
If your loved one is having a panic attack, there are several ways you can help. With a few research-backed techniques, you’ll be better equipped to provide support.
Gently name it, and tell your loved one that you believe they are having a panic attack. This can provide some context for what’s happening and relieve the fear of the unknown.
You can let them know that it will pass. Panic attacks can last anywhere from 5 to 30 minutes, though the worst symptoms usually subside within 10 minutes, according to the Anxiety & Depression Association of American (ADAA).
If this is the first time your loved one has had a panic attack, it might be advisable to seek medical attention to rule out other causes of their symptoms.
Everyone experiences anxiety differently. It’s important to keep in mind that what works for one person may not work for someone else. Don’t be afraid to try different strategies.
One of the best ways to help someone is to remain calm yourself, even if you’re feeling a little uneasy about what’s happening.
Keep yourself calm by taking deep breaths and reminding yourself that this is temporary. If the situation becomes overwhelming for you, reach out to someone else for help.
Your loved one may need some space during a panic attack. The hyperarousal state of panic — when your brain’s limbic system is on “high alert” — can mean that usual elements in the environment feel overstimulating, like touch, music, bright lights, or other sounds.
After reminding them that they can handle their symptoms, you can give your loved one space until their panic attack passes. They might ask you to stick around. If they do, reinforce their ability to independently experience their symptoms by uttering the coping statement once or twice and letting them ride out their symptoms until they pass.
If the two of you had plans, it can help to suggest going through with them once the panic attack has ended to help your friend see that they can get through the day even if they’ve had a panic attack.ADVERTISINGADVERTISEMENTAffordable therapy delivered digitally – Try BetterHelp
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While someone is having a panic attack, we do want to be empathic, but we don’t want to reinforce the idea that panic is dangerous, harmful, or needing to be reduced, minimized, or escaped.
So, rather than giving your loved one lots of reassurance and fussing over them, it can help to remind them that they can cope with what’s happening on their own. This gives them back their power to deal with the situation.
You can do this by offering supportive statements like:
“You can handle these symptoms.”
“This will pass.”
“The feelings aren’t comfortable, but you can accept them.”
“This will roll over you, like a wave.”
Remind them that, although panic attacks can feel never-ending, they typically peak in about 10 minutes. It’s not possible for the body to stay ramped up for much longer than that.
While panic attacks might make us feel like something is very wrong, they’re just false alarms — a misfiring of the body’s fight, flight, or freeze response. The sympathetic nervous system is responding to a perceived threat by driving physical processes like your heart and breathing rate. Panic attacks are simply an example of the flight-or-fight response out of context.
If your loved one lives with panic disorder — where they experience unexpected, recurring panic attacks and avoid behaviors or situations that might cause them — the most loving thing you can do is not reinforce the panic cycle by making a big deal out of panic attacks.
It’s also helpful to avoid reinforcing their escape behaviors, which could happen by staying near them or providing excessive reassurance. If you do this, it might unintentionally reinforce the feeling that something must be wrong after all.
A great way to help a friend with panic disorder is to support them once they get connected to a therapist who is doing exposure therapy with them. You can cheer them on as they gradually expose themselves — with the guidance of a trained therapist — to increasingly challenging situations that might provoke panic. In this controlled environment, they will practice resisting escape or safety behaviors.
While it’s tempting to help your loved one avoid the feelings of panic by distracting them from their bodily sensations or taking them away from the situation, these are considered “safety behaviors.” While safety behaviors might help to ease anxiety in the moment, they could actually reinforce a cycle of panic that exists in panic disorder.
Safety behaviors and distractions can prevent people from learning that panic attacks, while uncomfortable, are not actually harmful or dangerous.
Your loved one can handle panic without actually doing anything, and it’s important for them to know that anxiety about panic goes away on its own without causing them harm.
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) — a major method for treating panic disorder — teaches you strategies to reduce your anxiety and avoidance around panic attacks. The idea isn’t to prevent them but to sit with them until they inevitably pass. And often, you experience fewer panic attacks over time as you grow to fear them less.
The most effective way to react to a panic attack is just to ride it out instead of resisting or escaping it. While escaping a panic attack in the short term reduces anxiety, it just drives the panic cycle in the long term because you reinforce beliefs that panic is dangerous, harmful, or something that must be avoided at all costs.
The idea is to allow the symptoms to just be, which helps you to view panic attacks as a manageable experience, not one that needs to be escaped.
Try not to ask someone over and over if they are alright, as this can reinforce the idea that panic is dangerous or harmful. Also, avoid saying phrases that might invalidate their experience, like:
“It’s all in your head.”
“Snap out of it.”
“Nothing’s happening.”
“You’re fine.”
“I know exactly how you feel.”
“What’s wrong with you?”
“Why are you so upset over that?”
“There’s nothing to be afraid of.”
Do not offer substances. It may be tempting to give your loved one something to take the edge off, but this could make a panic attack worse. Certain strains of cannabis, like sativa, can increase anxiety and lead to paranoia. Alcohol changes levels of serotonin in the brain, which can make anxiety feel more intense.
If your loved one wants medication to help with future panic attacks or an anxiety disorder, suggest a visit to a primary care physician or a psychiatrist. A clinician may prescribe them selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), or benzodiazepines for occasional use.
A panic attack usually goes away in just a few minutes. If it doesn’t, it could mean a more serious medical event is happening, like a heart attack. Remember to stay calm as you assess the situation.
Look for these warning signs:
squeezing chest pain that moves to arms or shoulders (rather than stabbing)
shortness of breath does not improve
symptoms that carry on for 20 minutes
chest pressure lasts longer than 1 to 2 minutes
vomiting
If you see any of those warning signs, call 911 immediately.
Some symptoms of a panic attack are similar to those of a heart attack. You can read about how to tell the difference between a panic attack and a heart attack here.
Supporting someone during a panic attack can be stressful — not just for them, but for you too.
After the panic attack subsides and your friend is in a more relaxed headspace, it’s important to take some time for your own self-care.
Go easy on yourself for a few hours or the rest of the day. Take some time to recharge by practicing yoga, taking a warm bath, journaling, or doing anything else that relaxes you.
If taking care of someone is interfering with your own quality of life, consider reaching out to a therapist to talk about what you’re going through. Check out the ADAA’s Find a Therapist Directory to find a local clinician or a teletherapy option that might work for you.
Remember, we can only love others as much as we love ourselves. You also can’t give from an empty cup. Take care of your energy first, then whatever’s left can flow toward those that you love.
Bindi Irwin is stepping out of the spotlight to focus on her family just three months after welcoming daughter Grace Warrior with husband Chandler Powell. The conservationist and Crikey! It’s the Irwins star announced on Monday, a day after she opened up about her relationship with her estranged grandfather on Father’s Day, that she would be taking a month-long break from social media and public appearances in a message discussing mental health.
“Surround yourself with the light of people who genuinely care about you and will support you during the good times and the hard times,” Irwin added. “Remember there are helplines available. Mental health deserves more understanding and support instead of being dismissed or patronised. You are absolutely worthy of love and kindness.”0COMMENTS
Shortly after Irwin shared the update, her husband expressed his support. Powell, whom Irwin married back in March 2020, reshared his wife’s post to his own Instagram account, praising Irwin’s ability to “stand up for what is right.” He said his wife inspires him “with your unwavering kindness and your ability to stand up for what is right. You are the strongest and most beautiful person inside and out. Grace has an amazing mama to look up to.”
Irwin’s message came just hours after she shared another post about mental health. On Sunday night, the zookeeper shared a quote from motivational speaker and author Steve Maraboli that read, “I don’t think people realize how much strength it takes to pull yourself out of a dark place mentally. So if you’ve done that today or any day, I’m proud of you.” She has not shared any further messages since her Monday morning announcement.
If you’re feeling low today, don’t assume you have to manage your negative emotions alone. Help is out there so reach out if you need support or a listening ear.
As our title suggests, it’s good to talk when you’re feeling low. And this isn’t a glib statement. Research has proven that talking to somebody can be helpful. As discussed in an article at Psychology Today, talking with someone you trust can help you to:
In short, you will start to feel better when you open up to somebody.
Of course, it’s not always easy to turn to others. There are times when we might worry about looking weak in front of the people around us. Or we might lack the courage to get the help we need.
But it’s important to think of the alternative. When we bottle up our pent-up emotions inside, we can become anxious and stressed, and we can prolong our depression. For the sake of our mental health, we should try to find a safe outlet to deal with whatever is going on inside of us. By doing so, we will:
Benefit from the listening ear of another
Gain perspective on the things that are bothering us
Release negative emotions in a safe way
Receive the support we need to overcome our particular situation
Talking is certainly a better tactic than some of those other things we might do when we’re feeling low. Comfort eating, excessive drinking, smoking, and drug-taking are just some of the bad habits that many people succumb to when trying to make themselves feel better. As you will understand, these are not good solutions to managing negative emotions.
Who Can You Talk To?
In the first instance, talk to a trusted family member or friend. You should do this for two reasons. Firstly, you will have somebody you can regularly turn to and be with. And secondly, you will have somebody who can help you reach out to professional organizations if you need specific help.
You can also talk to those people who are affiliated with your spiritual beliefs. If you’re part of a church group you will probably find prayer support useful, so talk to your minister or another trusted member of the church you are a part of. Some people benefit from the services of a psychic, so if this is you, pick up the phone and speak to a psychic reader. Psychic Lights is just one service you might consider.
And then there are the support organizations that can help you deal with the things that are affecting your mental health. Some of these are set up to support people with specific life issues, and there are those that can help people who are feeling suicidal. Many offer phone, live chat, text, and drop-in services, so you need never be alone when you are in desperate need of somebody to talk to. Check out this list of organizations that could help you.
Never assume you have to manage the way you are feeling alone. Help is out there so talk to those closest to you, draw on the support of those affiliated with your faith, and seek specialist help if you need to. It’s good to talk so if you’re feeling low today, get in touch with the person or people that can care for your personal needs.
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