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Thank You Melinda
Baby Shaggy
Face Plant in Dirt
Gardening Buddy and Protector Shaggy
My loving Truffles
RIP Truffles
Loving Human like Banjo aka JoJo
RIP My Banjo
Am I healing from Chronic Lyme Diseases? Who knows? Lyme doesn’t have a cure, only times of remission. There’s no way to plan for lingering health problems you will get, will or won’t recover from. Symptoms may go away over time, stay same or get worse. There’s no definitive test to gauge how your major organs are affected unless the damage is severe.
The symptoms I struggle with daily are pain, pain pain, lack of balance, some memory has returned looking like a Tommy Gun practice. There are days when I can remember for a few minutes instead of seconds. If you’ve read my post the past two years, you’ve seen the cognitive issues. I can’t recall the proper name of items, have no concept of time and don’t fully recognize inflection. After two years in bed, I started to relearn walking in mid March. Falling is a physical daily threat.
As my body gets physically stronger there are years of doctor and dentist appointments to catch up on. Before Lyme I started to develop Agoraphobia which has manifested to extreme levels anxiety leaving the house. Every doctors appointment is a challenge.
The Lyme doctor prescribed a drug in the same class as one I take for my mental illness. I became Psychotic, waiting a week to touch down in reality. While Psychotic I wanted to hurt people, I was ANGRY. The person I became was not me, yelling, screaming, almost going to jail, wanted to leave my husband, I was a maniac. Sleeping was not possible, I walked in a big circle inside the house 24/7. I had no filter, the words coming out of my mouth were hurtful causing scars.
I normally don’t take a drug until reading the prescribing information on FDA.gov. Feeling rough and not checking the FDA site for two weeks, I started taking the drug. An up to date med list was on file with the Lyme Clinic. As a patient we expect a base level of responsibility. One is to look at med chart to confirm no interactions happen. The step was skipped and a drug for Narcolepsy was called in. I made an emergency call to her making her aware of the grave error. The response, it works differently in the brain.
NOT. A simple search revealed the drug was indeed in the same category as D-Amphetamine. D-Aphetamine is an older drug in the category, new meds come along but taking at the same time can be a disaster. They took no accountability for the error. The message back days later was to stop taking. Fortunately my Psychiatrist jumped in to help, creating havoc with my stable meds. Months later he is still increasing dosages to get me stable.
As I mentioned I have to concept of time or how long the post are. This one is long, I’ll wrap it up. Bottom line that error was on my last nerve. I’m no longer a patient and flying solo as I put together a local team to manage my brokenness.
I appreciate you for overlooking mistakes, misused words and post that make no sense. I haven’t reached remission but continue to put one foot in front of another. Thanks for being my anchor. :)
M
My grandparents loved me unconditionally with words, most importantly their actions. They saw the effects of abuse and neglect from a distance, I never said anything or make accusations. Granny spent extra time with me, giving me a long bath, washing my hair, scrubbing dirty feet, knees and elbows. She pampered me with few words spoken. She had the ritual, after drying off and hair not dripping she would wrap me in the towel, carry me to the bed, put baby powder on me then tell what a cute and funny/beautiful/any compliment I could comprehend at the age.
Granny knew I was dead inside from years of abuse, she never spoke bad of my mother even though tormented by my pain My grandparents made sacrifices until God deemed the time was right. My music teacher called me into the hall and would not accept my explanation for the bruises all over the my face. She asked me go to the Counselors office, I begged you don’t understand saying anything only makes it worse for me. I arrive in Counselor’s office, asking to call my Granny. I told her everything, she had seen the bruises, my underarms bruised and bleeding from my mothers stabbed finger nails.
Some of the most traumatic years followed. God knew when the time was right, at 12 yrs old my grandparents received full custody. It came with one condition, giving the Sate of Texas custody for one year for punishment by placing me in a reform school.
At 12 yrs old I was probation for carrying a gun, skipping 45 days of school, underage drinking, disturbing the police, resisting arrest and distribution of marijuana. I meet with the probation officer monthly, never saying a word until the seven month. The State of Texas wanted me committed to a reform boot camp style facility. My thug behavior had to change before I could function in a positive environment. I had visions of my behavior getting violent, kill before being killed, I had no fear of dying.
My grandparents knew I would not reform or make it out alive with other violent girls. Granny worked with the probation officer to come up with another solution. She remembered a girl when she was younger who went to a Convent School for bad girls. As it happened, the Convent had converted to a school again for girls with severe behavioral problems. At first glance it was the perfect solution until expenses were laid out. This was the mid 1970’s and cost $2000 per month, a strict lengthy list of uniforms, every detail down to how many towels and the money in an account to buy a soda and candy bar.
Unconditional love, my future and not having the money clashed. The probation officer called back with an option. Give custody to the State of Texas for a year and the state would cover the $2000 a month.
My grandparents put their faith in my probation officer, they wanted me to turn the right direction. I needed discipline in a strict structured environment. The Convent boarding school taught me about positive affirmations, I wanted so much more, it was missing in my bones. Responsibility, leadership and controlling my mouth. A year later, without a single disciplinary action, I left a better person. The lessons learned have served me well in life.
Children are precious, require proper discipline, parents must make decisions out of love not revenge. Most important is a child’s mental health, safety and happiness.
M
For your listening pleasure this week, love is in the air. One thing I know for sure, there’s not enough love in the world. M
Have you peaked at my Twitter timeline lately? My passion has changed from Rock Stars to Support Resources, from Charities, Organizations and OutReach Programs who support the issues closest to my heart. The mix includes resources for PTSD, Sexual Abuse of Men and Women and Mental Health, Child Abuse and Physical Challenges. I follow 40 Charities, Organizations and Survivors. There is a learning curve, I will share thru post once comfortable how support services are delivered.
I hope you will take at look at the retweets, conversations and resources on the Twitter feed, updated daily. Once confident my understanding of the group/mission, I’ll share via post. When possible, I’ll ask a few questions and ask them to talk about the who, what, when and why. One of the few lessons learned in Journalism class.
In sixth grade I set a goal to work as a Photo Journalist for Life magazine. Tossed aside when I turned down a scholarship and passed on college. Men’s Movement has asked me to write for them, my pride bubbles over. At 53 the opportunity is far greater than Life magazine, now defunct.
Everyone I’ve talked with seems genuine, in a few short weeks I have over 100 followers, many of which have visited my site. Taking my Advocacy work to Twitter looks like a good decision.
I’m interested in your ideas and suggestions.
M
AMERICANS OVER 50 are using narcotic pain pills in surprisingly high numbers, and many are becoming addicted. While media attention has focused on younger people buying illegal opioids on the black market, dependence can also start with a legitimate prescription from a doctor: A well-meant treatment for knee surgery or chronic back troubles is often the path to a deadly outcome.
Consider these numbers:
• Almost one-third of all Medicare patients — nearly 12 million people — were prescribed opioid painkillers by their physicians in 2015.
• That same year, 2.7 million Americans over age 50 abused painkillers, meaning they took them for reasons or in amounts beyond what their doctors prescribed.
• The hospitalization rate due to opioid abuse has quintupled for those 65 and older in the past two decades.
Behind the numbers are the shattered lives of many who never dreamed they’d become drug abusers.
Cindy Thoma, 63, who owns and operates a bookstore in Muskegon, Mich., became addicted to opioid pain pills after being injured in a car crash with a drunk driver who ran a red light. “I was running away from my pain,” she says. “I did well at first. But I began to take them sooner, which meant I needed more. I needed more because my body got used to the narcotics.”
The way opioids are often prescribed, dependence can set in after just a few days, experts say. “Within one week you’ve made that person physiologically dependent on the drug, meaning they feel some discomfort or side effects when they stop using,” says Andrew Kolodny, executive director of Physicians for Responsible Opioid Prescribing.
“I was very, very sick. My mind was not right for a long, long time.”
—Cindy Thoma, 63, sober for five years following an eight-year opioid addiction
Thoma stopped abusing opioids after years of struggle. But for too many, their story’s end badly.
Nearly 14,000 people age 45-plus died from an opioid overdose in 2015 — 42 percent of all such deaths in the U.S., according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).
The actual number is likely much higher. Overdoses in older people are often mislabeled as heart failure or falls, Kolodny says.
“The deaths of older people are an untold part of it,” says Jeremiah Gardner, public affairs manager of the Hazelden Betty Ford Institute for Recovery Advocacy. Gardner speaks from personal experience: His mother died two years ago from an overdose after becoming dependent on painkillers prescribed for chronic pain and a surgery. She was 59.
So how did we get here?
Over 50KEVIN J. MIYAZAKI
Cynthia Thoma is the owner of Gracie’s Book Store in Muskegoearn about health discoveries, explore brain games and read great articles like, “18 Quirky Summer Health Tips’ in
“We overestimated the benefits of opioids and underestimated the risks,” says Deborah Dowell, senior medical adviser at the CDC. “We assumed without adequate evidence that they would work as well long term as they did in the short term.”
Pharmaceutical companies have marketed opioids aggressively to physicians, especially after the Federal Drug Administration approved OxyContin in 1995. “The campaign that led to the increase in opioid prescriptions was multifaceted,” Kolodny says.
For example, Purdue Pharma, the maker of OxyContin, held pain management conferences in states like Florida that were attended by more than 5,000 doctors, nurses and pharmacists.
So beginning in the late ’90s, when older patients suffering from chronic conditions like arthritis or back issues asked for pain relief, their doctors innocently wrote prescriptions for OxyContin, Vicodin, Percocet and other opioid painkillers.
By 2012, addiction rates and the number of overdose deaths had soared. In that year, 259 million opioid prescriptions were written — enough for every adult in the U.S. to have one.
“Many doctors still think seniors can’t get addicted.”
Andrew Kolodny, executive director of Physicians for Responsible Opioid Prescribing
The trade group representing most opioid manufacturers, PhRMA, did not return calls for comment. Purdue Pharma said in a statement, “The opioid crisis is among our nation’s top health challenges,” and the company is committed to being “part of the solution.”
The teaching in medical school used to be that opioid medication is not addictive as long as it is given to someone in legitimate pain — something we now know not to be true, says Vivek Murthy, who left the job of U.S. surgeon general in April.
It did not help that in 2009 the American Geriatric Society encouraged physicians to use opioids to treat moderate to severe pain in older patients, citing evidence that they were less susceptible to addiction. Though the society revised those guidelines, the myth persists. “Many doctors still think seniors can’t get addicted,” Kolodny says.
Last August, then-Surgeon General Murthy wrote a letter to every doctor in America. “Nearly two decades ago, we were encouraged to be more aggressive about treating pain, often without enough training and support to do so safely,” the letter said.
“This coincided with heavy marketing of opioids to doctors. Many of us were even taught — incorrectly — that opioids are not addictive when used as pain relief. The results have been devastating.”
The CDC issued guidelines last year recommending that doctors drug-test their patients before and during opioid therapy, to ensure that the medications are taken properly.
But doctors still overprescribe. A 2016 survey by the nonprofit National Safety Council found that 99 percent of physicians prescribe opioids beyond the dosage limit of three days recommended by the CDC.
Thoma had no trouble getting opioids. “I could get them from different doctors, and there was no communication between them about what they were prescribing,” she says. “You could get it fairly easily.” In eight years, she lost her job and home and went bankrupt. Finally, she forced herself to stop. “I was very, very sick. My mind was not right for a long, long time.”
As people age, they can become more at risk for dependence or overdoses. To start, they are more likely to have serious pain. Kidney and liver function slows with age, increasing the time drugs remain in the system. And memory loss can make it harder to manage opioid medication effectively.
Solving the problem will require major changes, experts say. There is an urgent need for more treatment centers able to administer to older patients. That includes counseling tailored to older patients. It doesn’t work to have “a buttoned-up elderly person sitting next to a guy in his 20s who is pierced and tattooed,” says David Frenz, a Minneapolis physician certified in addiction medicine. And doctors need to be trained on medications used to treat opioid addiction, experts say.
There also needs to be a major attitude shift. “Some people still hold the mistaken belief that it’s a moral failing instead of a chronic medical condition that requires treatment,” says Melinda Campopiano, senior adviser for the federal Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.
But there are happy endings.
Thomas has been opioid-free for several years. She bought her bookstore in 2013, which helped refocus her life. She offers this advice for those who are dealing with drug issues: “Ask your provider to monitor your intake very closely. Consider trying nonaddictive options first. Be patient with yourself. Involve family members and friends to encourage you with your fight. And be prayerful.”
Rick Schmitt did additional reporting for this story
The Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) awarded $4.9 million in grants to a total of 17 colleges and universities across the United States. The grants, varying in amount from $47,494 to $102,000 annually, will be funded over three years by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) through its Garrett Lee Smith Suicide Prevention Program. The awards support a range of activities for the promotion of mental health, suicide prevention, substance abuse prevention, and more. This includes training faculty, students, and staff to recognize a student at risk for suicide and to intervene. The awardees include community colleges, small and large campuses, and state and private institutions. More…
https://www.samhsa.gov/newsroom/press-announcements/201706200200
Time will tell if Walgreens accomplishes the goal and how people are helped by the initiative. Another drug store chain publicity stunt? M
I write about healthcare business and policy
Opinions expressed by Forbes Contributors are their own.
A year after Walgreens Boots Alliance WBA -0.06% expanded access to behavioral health treatment by adding an established mental health screening, most patients took “active steps for follow-up,” the drugstore giant said.
Walgreens and its partner, nonprofit Mental Health America (MHA), say nearly 75% of visitors to the drugstore giant’s mental health site who completed MHA’s free screenings are moving toward follow-up treatment. That’s important because patients with mental health needs are known to not seek treatment or medication even once they know their diagnosis, behavioral health professionals say.
“One of our primary objectives when first launching this program was to help meet the growing need for resources and access to care,” Walgreens chief medical officer Dr. Harry Leider said in a statement.
Mental Health America is helping the drugstore giant connect its customers to free community-based screenings for mental health conditions that include depression, anxiety and bipolar disorders. Walgreens is also working with Mental Health America and other experts in the field to improve training and education of its more than 27,000 pharmacists and more than 1,100 nurse practitioners and physician assistants.
Walgreens’ update Tuesday on the expanding reach of its mental health initiative didn’t come with any financial figures. But the company is looking to expand later this summer, offering round-the-clock access to Walgreens pharmacists on MHA’s web site.
Increasingly, drugstore giants, including rival CVS Health CVS +0.24%, are pushing further beyond a pharmacy chain’s traditional role of dispensing and managing customer prescriptions. Fred’s, Inc., which will buy at least 865 Rite Aid RAD +2.08% pharmacies should Walgreens’ acquisition of Rite Aid win Federal Trade Commission approval, is transforming from its past heritage as a “Super Dollar” store to focus on personal healthcare.
Though no financial figures were released, Walgreens said its relationship with MHA is paying off. Data from the collaboration’s first year showed Walgreens customers were more likely to want a referral to someone who can help them at a higher percentage than those who went directly to MHA’s screening tools.
I like diabetes and heart disease. But patient adherence to treatment is known to be worse for mental health conditions than physical illnesses, so Walgreens set out to expand access to its customer base, which includes two million people who come to the pharmacy chain’s digital properties that include the company’s web site and mobile app.
A Tennessee jury on Friday found a former Vanderbilt University football player guilty of raping an unconscious female student in a teammate’s dormitory room in 2013.
The Nashville jury found Brandon Banks, 23, guilty of aggravated rape and aggravated sexual battery after deliberating for about 15 hours over two days. The case stoked simmering concern about sexual assault on college campuses by athletes.
Banks faces at least 15 years in prison, Assistant District Attorney Roger Moore told media. Sentencing will be Aug. 18.
“We are very satisfied with their verdict,” Moore said.
Defense attorney Mark Scruggs did not respond to a request to comment. He was quoted by The Tennessean newspaper as saying that Banks was “shocked but understands that this is only the first part of this process. There’s a lot more to do from here on.”
Teammates Brandon Vandenburg and Cory Batey, two of the four former Vanderbilt football players charged in the case along with Banks, were found guilty when tried together in January 2015 but a mistrial was declared.
Batey was later retried, convicted and sentenced to 15 years in prison. Vandenburg was found guilty in June 2016 and sentenced to 17 years in prison.
A fourth player, Jaborian “Tip” McKenzie, who testified against his three teammates, has yet to stand trial in the case.
The players used cell phones to record their crimes, and those videos – shown to the jurors in all the trials – played crucial roles in the prosecution’s case.
Vandenburg and the victim, who had been dating, met for drinks at a bar popular with Vanderbilt students. Both had been drinking prior to meeting, according to testimony.
Vandenburg tried to take the victim, who was unconscious, to her apartment, but could not get in. He then took her back to his dormitory, where the other three men charged in the case helped cart her to his room, which was the site of the attacks, prosecutors said.
The victim, who has not been named, testified against all three men for their roles in the rapes.
Banks testified in his own defense and said he was intimidated by the other players and participated because he was scared of retribution that night and later on the football field.
(Reporting by Tim Ghianni; Writing by Jon Herskovitz; Editing by Leslie Adler)
http://www.reuters.com/article/us-tennessee-rape-trial-idUSKBN19F01V
Men and boys who have been sexually assaulted or abused face the same mental and physical effects as other survivors. Cultural stereotypes about men and how they portray masculinity can sometimes feel toxic to male survivors, adding additional challenges to their experience.
Recovering from sexual assault or abuse is a process that looks different for everyone, and it’s important to support a survivor, no matter their gender identity. Focusing on self-care after a sexual assault is a vital step toward recovery. Sexual assault can affect the physical and emotional health of a survivor, so it’s important to address both components of self-care. Should a victim choose to seek professional help, therapy can provide a space to openly discuss their thoughts and experiences.
One out of every 10 rape victims is male. It’s crucial to remind male survivors that they are not alone and share the services available to help them through their recovery.
Survivors can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline 800.656.HOPE (4653) or visit online.rainn.org to be connected with local sexual assault service providers in their area. RAINN also partners with 1in6, an organization dedicated to helping men who survived unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood. If something happened to you, know that you are not alone and help is available. This Men’s Health Month—and all year round—join RAINN in supporting all survivors.
https://www.rainn.org/news/male-sexual-assault-road-recovery
Thank you for reading. RAINN is an excellent has extensive resources for men and women.
Melinda
“Some old-fashioned things like fresh air and sunshine are hard to beat” Laura Ingalls Wilder, Farm Journalist: Writings from the Ozarks.
M
P
This is a struggle for many after remarrying when children are part of the package. I’m reblogging to my site. We have catching up to do when you come up for air. M
Week 4. I’m still trying to catch up and it seems impossible. I don’t know anymore what has the priority after my family. I wish I could split in four, maybe that way something gets done.
A couple of weeks ago my ex sent me a message saying he couldn’t take care of our kids until he felt better. He gave me two options: 1) I had to take care of them. 2) He was going to look for professional help.
OK. I know what kind of an asshole he can be and when he said professional help, he didn’t mean he was going to get a shrink, he meant some kind of social services.
I really don’t need someone coming to my house and telling me how I have to raise my kids.
I took that as a hidden threat but I didn’t let him know I was terrified…
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Another reflective post from SE.Enjoy. M
(Oooh, a fragmented lost in draft post, just found, from earlier this year)
Now that was a catchier title than “Getting to know my fellow air travelers”, was it not?
Feet firmly back on the ground from vacation, I’ve been in hibernation from over-socialization. It isn’t that anyone was rude or intentionally draining either. I simply respond to excess people exposure like well-used rechargeable batteries – I wear out quickly.
Because my trip was an outgrowth from a surgical survival promise to myself, I tried to challenge my normal safety zones during this vacation. My normal flight behavior is book + headphones = polite ‘please ignore me’ signaling. I’m one of those people that everyone feels compelled to chat with for some odd reason; sometimes to extremes. But I don’t like to be rude, so the book comes in handy as a passive indicator of the fact that I’m done…
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From my dear friend SE, I know many can relate to her circumstances and struggles. M
“They” say this is the time of the year to reflect on your yearly posts. Ach. Hit and/or miss. So many left in drafts because they were written late at night after work ended and there didn’t seem to be much ‘me’ in them; or maybe, too much of me in them. I look at the scrapped titles: “Adversity”; “Humanities at (roughly)450 mph”; “Need Cheese with my Whine”. Hmm. Insert eye-roll here. LOL.
So yeah. Here’s the down and dirty to save you a TL,DR experience if you’re inclined. This year was fookin’ tough. Take adoption-process special needs 7-year-old, add hellacious work experience, layer in moving, financial floundering, adult child drama, add a dose of exhausted, seasoned with a bit of grumpiness and self-doubt, range set to ‘occasionally ignite unexpectedly’ and baste in a nice sauce of “‘WTF do I do now?” Voila! 2016 in a nutshell :)
Have some…
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Starting in late Spring-early summer the Music Festivals around the World kick off. If you ever get a chance to attend, don’t let the crowds keep you away. Today we watch Imagine Dragons at Southwest Festival, Coldplay at legendary Glastonbury Festival and good friend James Bay at Ilse of the Wight Festival. Enjoy M
I upgraded my account now all Premium Themes are free. Great but mine doesn’t look as nice and clean. Give it to me straight, the improvements are for you. I want the site to catch your attention, easy to maneuver, find resources and of course come back. Not sure I got this one right.
M
Another great resource of information I didn’t know about. Will you learn with me? M
Shelton at sheldonkleemanartworks.com Wrote a poem to post with the announcement of his Leibster Award. Thank you Shelton, you’ve been a good friend. M
Stander,not your ordinary
Stander,will go beyond to
Complete a task,an ability
That far exceeds most man
Yet the sad truth is that this
Man is vulnerable,has an
Achilles Heel,can be brought
Down with a single blow
Stander is still the choice
When it comes to being
Picked because he is not
Afraid to lose,even with
The odds that a good fight……..
I am still the fighter in life’s
Square circle and will be
Till my arm can not be
Raised ,yes I am Stander
By definition, and I
Can be duplicated but
Never ever imitated
I would like to thank Melanie for nominated me for the liebster Award
It always seems when I need it the most someone always steps I and gives
Me a hand,Melanie did just that,her blog is called lookingforthelightblog.wordpress.com she always has something good to say or a good song to listen to,so please do me…
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Hey, Good friend Casey Sims is here! He’s here for the party, come, let’s meet. Xx M
BUCKET LIST STARTED 2015
Chronic Lyme Disease has given me time to reflect on life’s blessings. To stay motivated, I think of a bright future. Travel locations and adventures left to do.
I want to help my community and keep expanding my mind.
I’m preparing for my charity, with a focus is Pastoral work.
Helping people, animals and the environment are my core beliefs.
I will live a full life expanding my soul and supporting others.
*********************************
Watch artist hand craft a Turkish rug
Learn to double jump rope
Roller Derby
Watch baby turtles hatch and return to sea
Drive Hover Craft
Tango Lessons
Drive Monster Truck
Drive 18 Wheeler
Train and Volunteer to rescue wild animals
I had a panic attack during a dive in 1999. I have to dive again to tackle the fear
Visit the worlds Wineries, extra long stay in France
Volunteer for RAINN as Advocate Speaker for Child Abuse and Sexual Abuse
I love to hear your travel stories, life accomplishments, adventure vacations. Where is life taking you?
Xx Melinda
The word Liebster” (originating in German) has several definitions — dearest, sweetest, kindest, nicest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued. In the current context, this award recognizes bloggers who share their story or thoughts in a beautiful manner to connect with their viewers and followers.
Here are the rules:
Acknowledge the blog that nominated you and display the award.
Answer the 11 questions the blogger gives you.
Give 11 random facts about yourself.
Nominate 11 blogs.
Notify those blogs of the nomination.
Give them 11 questions to answer.
The Leibster Award arrived via telegram from good friend Danica Piche at https://danicapiche.com You have to visit her site, she writes the greatest short stories that truly satisfy. She participates in every challenge. I need a third arm to keep up. The big deal is she’s special, I’m hanging my No Award sign out and Danica is making it for me.
After meeting Danica our friendship felt telepathic. When I needed a boost she would send a smile or an award. Danica is a caring person, often checking to see how life is going. She gives out Good Karma vibes, positive energy, she’s thankful and loves music. Kick back for mini-concert of Danica’s picks.
This beauty comes from Danica’s notes.
Inspired by one of those birds hanging out in the trees of my front garden.
This is what I wrote in my journal. I asked a bird to tell me a story. It told me once this was a paddock with lots of trees, and covered in grass. Once this place was always peaceful and quiet. Once I had the freedom to come and go as I liked. Then you people came along and built homes, you took my paradise away.
One of Danica’s first post: https://danicapiche.com/2015/01/07/try-not-to-be-an-ahole-today/
11 Random Facts About Me:
Spray air is how I dust.
Have to go 3 pieces into a loaf of bread for the softest pieces.
Old books, smell, crinkled pages, velum over Author page. Surprises like Glimpses of the Life and Times of A.V.H. Carpenter, fully Illustrated First Edition printed 1890.
Have several generations of Red Tail Hawks come everyday to relax in the bird bath. I never bore of seeing them.
To many old school headphones, the type with excellent sound.
Love the grain of wood, each piece of has a different grain. Zebra wood is one of my favorites.
Art,Art, Art, the price of the piece does not determined the value.
Observed a Black Wooly Bear Caterpillar in a container, they are fast, huge and play dead better than a possum. I’m also the Asp Wrangler.
https://lookingforthelightblog.wordpress.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=25261&action=edit
Life is a mix of old, new and surprises.
When outside my mind stops the constant chatter, the world is mine.
I can untie knots, takes time, success rate 100%.
Questions for My Nominees:
Coffee or tea or mocha/hot chocolate? All in same day.
Why do you blog? I didn’t get the PhotoJournalist position at Life Magazine.
How would you describe your sense of humor? What day is it?
What would you do in your ideal day? Walking the back streets of ancient city….seeing the world.
Summer or winter? Both, outdoors anytime.
Beach or mountains? Ditto, always something new to see.
Could you live without your smart phone? Smart phone yes, mobile phone, no. When telephone lines are down, cell phones work.
Do you like sardines? Love them marinated in mustard or olive oil right from can on Saltines Crackers.
Do you have any pets? Always. Shaggy is an elder dog but don’t tell him.
Does the weather affect the way you see the day? Only if Sailing.
What would you change about your life now? Nothing. Each step propelled me forward to the person I am today. (Sounds good, huh?)
Nominees :) No Award blogs are for the picking being my last award and all (said with a smile and Texas twang). I’m ready to see Danica’s expression, nominees have received announcements, if not it’s coming Pony Express.
A Huge Texas Hug to everyone who follows, comments, likes, or stops by my blog. I appreciate each and every one of you! Looking for the Light Blog is now Award Free. Your smile and comments fill me with sunshine, knowledge and tons of fun.
http://www.fourthgenerationfarmgirl.wordpress.com
https://sheldonkleemanartworks.com
http://www.charlypriest.wordpress.com
http://www.patriciajgrace.wordpress.com
https://thefeatheredsleepcom.wordpress.com
http://www.vanbytheriver.wordpress.com
http://www.piecesofbipolar.wordpress.com
http://www.amightybeing.wordpress.com
http://www.amygamble.wordpress.com
http://www.cadburypom.wordpress.com
http://www.cindyknoke.wordpress.com
Questions for My Nominees: Danica has the best questions, refer to her’s above, better yet make your own. Get jiggy with it!
There is never any obligation. If you’re unable to participate for any reason, please accept this as a gesture of my appreciation. :) M
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My first blog started in 2005 and hosted by Blogger. I was caring for my dying grandmother. I had to write and let it go. Her death was devastating, as you’ve read in many post. She’s never left my side. Granny was the strongest woman I ever met, she knew how to keep her mouth shut. Something I did not inherit. I could let out steam, cry by myself, recharge for next day. Yesterday WordPress sent an Achievement notice. Time does fly, in sickness and health.
You are the reason I’ve stayed. You followed me, left good and a few bad comments, you lifted me up when I was down. Most importantly your Blog has entertained, made me cry and lifted my spirits to the sky. I am blessed to talk with each of you. Thank you for standing by me these crazy eight years. M
I can’t get enough of great guitar players, the ones who make funny facies and contoured bodies while playing. The artist passion comes thru the strings. There aren’t any new videos here, my favorites are close by to share with you.
I believe Friday is a Roast for a dear friend, make sure to stop by for the party. Let me know what you think, its way out of norm. M
Heather
These beautiful words and the feels that go with, leave tears in my eyes, my heart aches. Like you, we’ve Survived to learn what’s most important.
Love ya Hugs
M
I told him I loved him
His hand held in mine, as I curled up
By his side
Stroked back his hair,
His forehead I kissed
And said it was time to go to the light
His breathing, then shallow
I fought not to cry,
I felt Dads soul leave
Right after he died
There once was a time I was not so lucky
When God took my Husband away
There were no good byes, no last words
Behind with our children, I would stay
Numb to the bone,
Not a clue where to start
Love, anger and rage
Ripped apart my heart
Did I arrive too late,or did he go too fast?
There is no more future
There’s now just a past
Its’ been so many years, 14 to this day
Questions still come and go
Is it fair to complain and bitch about life?
I’ve learned I’m just…
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From one of the most imaginative writers, she is cool, assessable and I feel a deep connection to her, like we met before. M
Things at a distance …
The child learns
Not to burn herself on cooker top
Not to hold someone to their word
People don’t always return
Love
Things learned at a distance
Words do not describe reality
Reality is not as they say
Life is funny and tastes of rain
One moment it flows then everything stops
Changes course
And you
Child
Sometimes you are forgotten
For adults
Don’t always recall
The necessity of keeping their word
And that child
Grew with restraint and without rule
Clad in scraps of query and uncertainty
Unobserved, she learned not to learn
She didn’t sharpen her pencil and master how to take orders
Her mind they thought gifted but her’s was just a glib mouth with fast words
Sounding beneath the press of water, betraying its weight
Underneath she had no end to her dislike of being told what to do
And they…
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Great information for how to practice safe sexting. Like most invasions of privacy, it’s about consent. M
To C who’s in Reserves
Chromic Lyme caused many falls, some serious, some not. I took two good slams to my right knee in 18 months. It didn’t prepare me for needing a knee replacement. They pain level from Lyme was so high, the knee became part of the over all pain. I received the long needle steroid shot yesterday along with the news. I’m staying positive by saying better now than later yet know there are other surgeries in the future.
Recovering from surgeries caused from misadventures with Lyme and resisting a cane. I am only 53 and feel much younger than my body. Now he says it’s essential to get a walker to help me with balance. I went from sick to no memory to old and decrypted.
I had to get jacked up, feel younger than my body. Music takes me anywhere, doing anything, just close my eyes.
Hope you enjoy the selection. x M
I’ve talked with new followers, touched base with loyal followers and found several great blogs to follow. Wow!!!! I’m refreshed. If you don’t like the picks this week, you know what to do, the request line is open 24/7, leave your suggestion. Let’s get some new music taste to wake me up. Have a great weekend. Be Safe. M
The post is from the archives, written in 19XX, and cleaned a bit. I’m depressed today partly due to exhaustion from Restless Leg which returned three weeks ago, which doesn’t help my mood. Chronic Lyme Disease took my memory, stress, pain, and on and on. My brain gave parts of it back with holes, today it’s gone again. I’m rambling….the reason? I’m lost again and used the WordPress Copy a Post Function for the first time. I can’t tell you the year it was written or if the WordPress Copy Function and my brain are on the same page.
I love to travel, and my goal is to see the world. Bipolar Disorder can dictate your life. The high side is dangerous for me. Life is great, who needs sleep? Not recognizing my Hypo-Mania can make it possible. The titter totter of Bipolar is balance. One side can suffocate you in hell, the other side is suffocating without you knowing there is always a fall.
I was an Executive Sales person, number one in the company, and making big bucks, I felt so lucky that Hypo-Mania stayed for 10 years. Looking back at the scars remember the higher you go the harder you fall. I lived in hell, thought I can cover this up, when I fell it was like dominoes tipping the next.
I went to Russia by myself, traveled with my friends to France and the Caribbean, a girl trip several times a year. My doctor told me the higher you go the harder you fall. I didn’t want to give up the person I was.
The fall began slowly. I got fired from my job, blew though my savings, we’re talking half million and filled for bankruptcy. Did I mention a divorce and building a new house. I lost everything.
What I lost was not worth the high. All the negative thoughts came back. My life is not as exciting, anxiety kept me in the house. Most days didn’t get of bed, used every excuse to cover my absents.
I’ve been suicidal many times, leading me to Psychiatric Hospital to save myself. Having 20 ECT treatments in the past 10 years is not an achievement. A Vagus Nerve Stimulator was implanted in my chest. I thought the newly approved FDA device was my chance, to leave my world behind. Well no.
The thing about research is moving forward. The brain doesn’t have a road map, navigation center, or instruction manual. Medicine and technology will take us closer to managing our lives.
My husband understands most of what he’s seen. The brain is a fascinating question mark?
Warrior
Looking for the Light 