A socially awkward doctor called with the news. The call I had been dreading. Cancer. When the short call ended, I just sat there, dumbfounded, until I mustered up the courage to call my mom. To this day, sharing the news of my diagnosis has been one of the worst things I’ve had to do. […]
15 months — Musings of a Cancer Patient
Category: Health and Wellbeing
Just Pondering

“When you look at a field of dandelions you can either see a hundred weeds or a hundred wishes”
Unknown
Melinda
Want To Make Your Home More Energy-Efficient?
Energy efficiency is a bit of a buzzword of late, right? But what does it really mean for us and for our homes? When you are more energy-efficient you can save yourself a lot of money, which makes sense for anyone. So if you are wondering what you can do to be more energy-efficient, then here are some things to think about and what an energy-efficient home actually means.
Wall and loft insulation
Heat rises, as the science goes, so if you have heat in your home, where do you think it is going to leave from? It is going to leave from the walls and the ceiling, which is why having loft insulation can really make a difference to how energy-efficient the home is. If your home loses heat quickly, then you will keep spending more and more money on your heating bill to keep the home at a temperature that you like. So check your wall and loft insulation and see if there needs to be an update.
Consider solar panels
Natural and renewable sources of energy are the way forward, but can they be used in the home? The answer is quite simple, yes! One of the most commonly used is solar panels on the roof of people’s homes. This often means a massive cut in electricity bills, even being able to sell some of the power back to the grid. If you’re not too sure about the upfront costs of getting solar panels, then looking at a site like ChooseSolar could be a good idea. The idea there is that homes are connected to solar farms in the local community and can use the power of those solar panels, rather than needing their own.
Windows
Much like loft spaces and walls, heating can also be lost through your windows. If there are even the smallest of gaps, they can let in a lot of air and if it is cold, can mean that you have to keep your heating on for longer, as it will not keep the warm air in the home. If you have single-glazed windows, which can be present in a lot of older homes, then they need to be replaced. This can have quite large upfront costs, but you will quickly see the benefit when it comes to the energy efficiency of the home, not to mention the noise reduction that you will experience when inside the home too.
Switch your energy provider
If you want to pay less on your energy bills, then think about how long you have been with your current energy provider. Are you on an acceptable tariff with them and do they offer the use of renewable energy? When you move to a different provider that does offer such terms, then you can save money and know that you are using better sources of energy that are natural and renewable.
It would be great to hear what you think. How do you make sure that your home is energy-efficient?
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
Looking After a Pet’s Mental Health: Is It So Simple?
Pets keep loneliness at bay for millions of people and can help with our overwhelming thoughts and while we are more than aware of how a pet can help us with our well-being, we must remember to return the favour. Supporting your pet’s mental health is essential. The pandemic has made us a lot more anxious, but what about our pets? Our pets’ behaviour might change intense situations. But what can we do to make sure that, if we notice our pets having any signs of poor well-being, that we support them?
Stimulating Their Senses
Providing mental stimulation is crucial. If you are currently stuck at home, you can hide treats and toys around the space to provide that all-important exercise and mental stimulation. But when life returns to normality, give them the benefits of a variety of scenery. Taking them to explore new scenery is as important to your pet’s mental health as it is to you.
Exercising With Different Techniques
Ensuring that they remain agile is essential. Building up their agility will teach them something new and stimulate them. If your pet needs to stay indoors, you must remember that their exercise should not suffer. You can also incorporate new toys on a heavy rotation. A variety of interactive toys can keep your pet interested and stimulated. There is a lot to consider. And when you start to stimulate their senses, you give them that all-important distraction.
Access to Light
Fresh air is important, as well as light and exposure to a variety of senses. Giving them exposure to different smells and sounds provides simulation. You have to remember at this point if your pet’s behaviour changes or they get frustrated, you may need to change your approach. If you are not taking your dog out much at the moment, you need to remember that the variety of noises and smells may frustrate them at not being able to go outside.
Observing and Acting
A physically and mentally stimulated pet will be happier and healthier. Observing changes in their behaviour gives you the opportunity to spot if their mental well-being is being impacted. You should always contact a vet if you are concerned, but the solution might be closer to home. You could give them more treats if you feel you’ve been cutting back recently. There are also other ways to stimulate them, such as the soothing sounds on My Dog’s Favourite Podcast available on Spotify. It is an audio treat for your dog that could help to calm their anxieties.
Stimulation is crucial, but we have to remember when we are trying to look after our pets and mental health that we are more observant. They could be taking their cue from us, in which case, it’s essential to focus on creating a healthier environment for everyone. We can look after our pet’s mental health. In many ways, it is simple.
Melinda
Two Of My Favorite Frugal Finds
I love to save money on items I’m already purchasing and there are two Apps that you add to your browser that will help you save money if there is a coupon code available or promotion going on.
Ratuken
I can’t tell you how much I love Ratuken! They have paid me so much money for shopping it’s hard to believe. To date, I’ve earned around $1850 just for shopping and buying what I already planned to buy. They payout once a quarter and next month a check will mail out for over $250, my credit card is going to love that payment.
Companies love Ratuken too. One of the companies I shop at often has 10%-15% Ratuken promotions versus the normal 1%. So I try to plan my shopping around the higher cashback days. Ratuken emails me with companies that are doing promotions and what the extra cashback is. If I plan on shopping or need something from one of those companies I jump on the extra cashback. On $100, 10% cashback versus 1% cashback is a big difference.
Ratuken has a pop-up when your shopping, you need to click on it to activate it. Then all the items in your cart are counted for. You can go to the R at the top of your screen to make sure Ratuken is active. One thing to remember is sometimes Honey will have an offer that Ratuken doesn’t so if you click on the Honey offer it disables Ratuken. All you have to do is go up to the R again at top of the screen and reactivate. Always go back up to the R to check you are still active if you’ve clicked on any Honey offers before you check out.
Ratuken also pays for referring friends and family and currently has a limited-time offer of $40 per referral. When you refer someone you get $40 dollars after they spend $40. You can refer as many people as you like, just make sure to use your individual link.
It’s the season for shopping, not only are the holidays coming but weather changes often call for new clothes and shoes, not to mention those honey-do projects.
Here’s my link if you would like to join. https://www.rakuten.com/r/MSANDO99?eeid=28187
Honey
One of the greatest things about Honey is that they give you points even if they can’t find a coupon code. They have also recently started offering money for certain items when you are shopping. Example: I bought a pair of jeans, Ratuken only had a 1% reward going at the time but Honey paid me almost $16 for the jeans. A pop-up will appear if the item qualifies and you click on it to activate the coupon.
The other change I like about Honey is they allow you to cash out every time you have 1,000 points. You don’t have to, you can wait and collect more but it’s available. Another big change I like is you don’t have to get a gift card, you can have the money sent to your PayPal account.
This month alone I’ve been able to cash in close to $50 by getting in on the special offers for what I’m already buying. That’s $50 cash to PayPal and straight to my bank account.
Here’s my link to join. joinhoney.com/ref/gvehf5o
You can’t find a simpler way to make money and find coupons than with Ratuken and Honey.
Happy Saving!
Melinda
October Chronic Illness Writing Prompts
This month’s Chronic Illness Writing Prompts are Falling, Transitioning, Choosing, Imagining, and Beautifying. This month I picked three of the five. Each month the prompts are from A Chronic Voice, be sure to check out her awesome blog filled with tons of information on living life to the fullest.


This month I’m working on the inside and the outside of me. On the inside I’ve started Yoga, at least I have bought the necessary items to start. I plan to focus on stretches then work into some actual Yoga moves. It’s been years since I’ve done any exercise other than walking the stairs. Today I started walking with my husband and the dogs at lunch.
As for the outside, after getting my hair cut my ears are more noticeable so I pierced one of my upper ears and have bought a diamond shooting star for it. I pierced both sides but the side I sleep on hurt too bad and I let it close up. I have plenty of jewelry but haven’t worn it much this past 10 years. I started wearing a necklace again and that has worked so far. I also bought a faux diamond wedding ring since mine no longer fit. Now I have a wedding ring to wear after years of going without one, it feels good and I think my husband likes it.

I have spent many years living as a patient, always reading about what is going on with me, the latest research, and even listening to others with the same health issues. I’m choosing to no longer take that approach. When I go to the doctor, I’m a patient, ask my questions, come home, and read about the side effects of any new meds, and then I’m putting it away. Yes, I have to pay attention to the everyday issue and look for side effects or worse but I’m changing my mindset. I’m working on a healthy mindset with a sick body. It’s not glossing over the facts, I chose to not focus on the facts. There is a big difference. My doctor is great and she changed my meds yesterday, I’m taking a positive attitude about how they will help my pain levels without opioids. I’m living opioid-free for as long as I can.

I’m having fun with my blog by doing more Book Reviews and Interviews. I have had so many great books to read and enjoy the opportunity to share with my readers. I have two companies out of the UK that I’ve been working with and now work with NetGalley so I can expand my range of self-help and mental health books.
I wanted to be a journalist from the sixth grade on, actually worked on the school and our local newspaper in high school. I won a Journalism scholarship but we couldn’t afford for me to go to school out of town. I look at blogging as my writing opportunity. I’ve forgotten most of what I learned about proper writing but I get along. I want to expand myself. We are well-rounded people with many interests and I want to bring you more interesting topics on my blog.
I also want to get back to more advocacy work, I’ve been lax and now it is the time to get involved in issues that mean something to me. You may have noticed how active I’ve been in October Awareness Days, they are great issues that need more conversation around them. Look for more in the coming months.
Happy October!
Melinda
4 Ways to Save More Money & Sleep Better At Night
Lake of finances is a major source of worry for many people. Therefore, when there are not enough funds available for meeting your needs or in your savings, you’re more than likely to become anxious, Unfortunately, with most Americans having less than $1,000 stashed away as their savings, this problem is a pretty pervasive one. However, just because this is the norm doesn’t mean that it should be the same for you. With the right strategies, you can actually save more, thus lessening your worries and anxieties in the process.
Cut Down Bloated Financial Expenses
Take a critical look at your expenses and see where you can cut them down. The easiest way to do this is to start tracking every cent you spend. Do this for a month or two and see what expenses are important and those that aren’t.
Then, create a budget based on those important expenses and save the rest. You’ll find that when you limit yourself to a budget and stick to it, you can make it work, regardless of your previous spending habits.
It may not seem like a lot at first, but it does add up over time. We’ve seen families go from having less than $500 in their savings to $6,000 in savings in one year by just cutting their expenses. Interestingly, they were still quite comfortable and didn’t miss those things they cut out of their budget.
Reconsider Your Housing Situation
This is a tricky one considering that you need a place to live. But if you’re spending more than half of your paycheck on housing –whether mortgage or rent- you might want to consider downsizing to something more affordable until you can afford your ideal home and use the extra funds for something else.
For instance, some people have been known to switch to manufactured homes. If you do a quick search using the mobile homes for sale search phrase, you’ll find many affordable options that are available to you. If mobile homes aren’t an appealing option, try moving to a cheaper or smaller home. Or you can seek cheaper mortgage payments for your home.
Save Unexpected Income
Most people tend to immediately send money that they didn’t expect. Yet, when you think about it, the very fact that those funds were unexpected means that they can actually live without spending those funds.
Whether the money is in the form of a bonus, cash gifts, or extra commission, determine to put that money aside immediately it comes in. Do this a few times and you’ll soon see your savings grow.
Lower Your Energy Bills
Energy consumption and utility bills are often a sizable part of the average monthly expense. So, it makes sense that if you can cut down on how much you pay for your utilities –particularly during the summer and winter months- you could save some more money.
Some things that you can do to lower your energy bills include changing your bulbs to energy saver bulbs, using energy-efficient HVAC systems, not leaving the heater or AC on in rooms that are unoccupied, and much more.
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
Aromalief’s New Pain Cream Three Pack Travel Set
I was kindly gifted an Aromalief Pain Cream three-pack travel set from Annabel Mendez founder of Aromalief as a preview of one of their Christmas campaigns. This makes the perfect gift for a friend or family member who deals with chronic pain and individually they make great stocking stuffers.

This post contains affiliate links that may earn me a commission that doesn’t cost you more to use and it helps fund my coffee habit.
I’ve reviewed all three Aromalief scents and like all three. I love the product! Lavender is my favorite, it’s part of my nighttime ritual and Orange Ginger is my daytime go-to. All Aromalief products are 97% natural, PETA Bunny certified, contain 1000 mg of Hemp with no THC, and is a women-owned business.
One of the things I love about the product is it soaks in quickly and leaves no greasy residue. Which makes the energizing Orange Ginger or Soothing Spearmint great for daytime use. I am able to apply the cream, wait for a few minutes, and get right back on the computer. Each scent is light, with no overpowering fragrance.
As for how they work, you need to read my in-depth reviews, but in short, they work. My last review was for the Soothing Spearmint Pain Cream. After two days of writing and surfing my hand and wrist were very sore all the way up my forearm. I took a few minutes to massage the cream into my hands, wrist, and up my arm until soaked in. After a short time writing, I realized the pain in my wrist and palm had let up, making it much easier to write and move my wrist.
Aromalief is a drug-free alternative for your pain and it works wonders on the neuropathy in my legs and feet.
Right now they are giving Free Shipping on all orders!
Happy Shopping!
Melinda
Preparing Your Home & Your Family For Natural Disasters
The truth is that you most likely don’t want to think about the idea that a natural disaster could leave your home completely destroyed. But, the fact is that a natural disaster – fire, flood, or storm – could leave your home in a mess, which is why it’s so important to prepare yourself and your family for a situation where a natural disaster strikes.
Of course, knowing how to go about doing that isn’t always easy, is it? After all, there’s a lot to consider when it comes to protecting your home and it’s easy to see why you might feel overwhelmed. However, the process of protecting your home and knowing how to respond in this kind of situation is vital.
Bearing that in mind, below are a few useful tips and suggestions for how you can prepare your home and family for a natural disaster – read on for everything that you should know.
Ensure that you have adequate insurance in place
When it comes to preparing your home and your family for a natural disaster, it’s important to make sure that you have adequate insurance protection in place for your home. The last thing that you want is for a natural disaster to destroy your home and be unable to afford to repair and rebuild it because you don’t have solid insurance in place.
It’s also worth thinking about looking into having insurance claim attorneys on hand should disaster strike, to make sure that your insurance provider gives you everything that you are entitled to. Far too often, insurance providers try to avoid paying out a fair amount, and working with an attorney can help to prevent this.
Make backups of important documents
To ensure that should your home be damaged by a serious disaster you don’t lose all of your important paperwork and documents – think birth certificates, marriage licenses, vehicle paperwork, etc. – it’s a good idea to make copies of these documents and store them securely on a cloud storage platform.
You might also want to consider making copies of all of your favorite photographs so that you have copies of these, should you lose the originals in a disaster. Making copies of things is just good sense, as it can ensure that no matter what happens, you have access to everything that you need.
Know your escape route
It’s also important to make sure that you and your family have a plan mapped out in terms of an escape route. If you’re at home when disaster hits, it’s vital that you have an adequate escape route in mind, so that you’re able to get to safety with your family.
Think logically about your options for an escape route, map one out, and then explain the plan to your family, so that everyone knows what the escape route should be in an emergency.
There you have it, a simple guide to preparing your home – and your family – for natural disasters and how you can navigate them.
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
Making Sure Your Medical Care Is Safe and Sound
When you’re a parent, the last thing that you want to worry about is whether or not your kids are receiving quality medical care. Unfortunately, there are many instances where people have gotten subpar care because they didn’t know their rights.
It’s essential to be proactive and ensure that your family has access to medical treatment while also ensuring it is safe and sound. In this blog post, you will get information on how to do just that!
Have Regular Checkups
Having regular checkups is something that everybody should do. Even if you feel well, it is always good to make sure your body is functioning the way it should be and take steps towards any issues before they become serious problems.
If, for example, your family has a history of certain conditions like cancer or diabetes, regular checkups are something that everyone in your family needs to do regardless of their age or health status. Checkups will allow doctors and nurses to catch things early on while still fixing them efficiently instead of waiting until there’s more extensive damage done.
Always Be Keen and Ask Questions
Asking questions is essential. Your doctor will not think you are troublesome, and it is their job to answer your questions anyway! If they do not, ask another doctor until someone can provide satisfying answers that give you peace of mind. The same goes for nurses and other medical professionals: the more information all parties have available about your treatment plan, the better care everyone gets as a result.
And if something does go wrong due to a breach on the doctor’s part, you can always seek legal advice from a medical malpractice attorney to help you acquire damages for violation. By doing so, you will not be negligent about your medical rights.
Ensure That Your Medical Rights Are Respected
Your health care providers should understand that you are a vital part of the medical team. You should ask questions and communicate with them about any concerns you have without feeling judged. Staff members at hospitals and clinics should treat you with respect.
When doctors order tests for you as a patient, they need to explain what they are for you to make informed decisions. If there’s something wrong with how things work in this area, speak up! Like other rights citizens enjoy, your right to advocate for yourself will only strengthen if you exercise frequently.
Other medical rights include having access to quality health care providers and receiving advice on navigating the system. You also have the right to get satisfactory answers to your questions concerning insurance coverage and everything you need to be an active participant in making good choices about taking control of your well-being.
Conclusion
In conclusion, it is crucial to make sure that your medical care providers do everything they can to protect you from harm. Remember, this means not just getting treatment for a severe injury or illness — it also includes making sure you have all the information and resources available to take steps towards preventing health issues before they become emergencies.
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
How Great Leaders Inspire Action
10 Things To Remember On A Weekend Away
So you’ve decided to go on a weekend away with friends. Being prepared for this trip is essential to have an amazing time! Here are the top 10 things you need to remember on any weekend away.
1. Bring snacks
If you’re driving somewhere for the weekend, make sure you bring some easy-to-grab food along with you. If you get hungry while driving (or even on the plane/bus), it can be dangerous to try and get your bag or dig through your purse. It’s also important because if there isn’t anywhere nearby to get food, this will help you last until dinner time.
2. Have an emergency kit
Pack a travel-size first aid kit in case of any accidents! It’s also essential to bring Tylenol, Band-Aids, hand sanitizer, Imodium AD (in case of diarrhea), floss, and any other personal necessities because there may not be a store nearby to buy these things. Have car accident lawyers on speed-dial, just in case.
3. Prepare an itinerary
Make sure you prepare an itinerary for the weekend. This can include anything from finding fun activities to do if it’s raining outside (such as visiting museums or finding exciting shops to explore) to finding a restaurant to eat dinner at and making sure there is somewhere for breakfast.
4. Bring water bottles
It’s smart to bring reusable water bottles along with you. If it’s hot outside, this will help keep you hydrated as well as cut down your chances of buying a bottle of water at a gas station, which is known to be very overpriced.
5. Pack extra clothes
Pack a backup set of clothes in case something gets spilled or ripped on your trip. It’s also wise to bring pants so you can wear sweatpants if it’s colder outside than you thought/you didn’t pack any warm clothes, as well as a sweater or jacket if it’s colder outside than you thought/you didn’t pack a coat.
6. Bring extra money
Whether you forget to bring enough for dinner and need more, lose your wallet, or have a bank card not working, this will come in very handy. This is also helpful because there may not be a place nearby to buy anything extra from, so it’s wise to have some money set aside just in case.
7. Don’t forget your passport
Your passport might expire soon, or you might need it for other reasons while traveling. It’s much easier to keep track of your passport if you put it in the same spot every time, such as your underwear drawer or backpack pocket. This will save you the hassle later on.
8. Don’t overschedule yourself
Don’t make plans for every hour of your trip because things always happen unexpectedly, and there’s no way to avoid that! It’s essential to relax and be flexible on trips so you can have more fun.
9. Bring a camera
It’s nice to capture memories of your trip with pictures, whether photographing landscapes or taking selfies with friends. If you already have a smartphone, it wouldn’t hurt to bring along an additional camera – make sure to charge the battery, as it doesn’t last forever.
10. Have fun!
Don’t forget that this is your trip and you should enjoy every minute of it – talk with friends, explore new places, take lots of pictures, try new things. And most importantly: don’t stress yourself out over little things because there are bigger things to worry about!
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
Good Reasons To Sell Your Car and Replace It With Something Newer
Upgrading your car shouldn’t be seen as something you do once every decade or longer. Instead, it should be seen as something you do to keep up with the latest technologies, to feel safer in your vehicle, and to take advantage of some great savings and deals. We’re currently going through a period of great car advancements and vehicles these days are coming out with so many unique features that you might feel left out if you’re not sporting one of the more recent vehicles from the 2020 era.
Add to that the increasing popularity of electric vehicles and you’ve got yourself a recipe for success. Whether you’re looking to save money on fuel costs or want to take advantage of the latest safety features, there are plenty of good reasons why you might want to sell your car and replace it with something new. In this article, we’re going to share a few of those reasons to try and convince you to upgrade in the near future.
Car safety features have improved a lot over the past few years
One of the biggest factors that we consider when choosing a car is how safe it is. Car safety used to be about how big and sturdy a vehicle was so that if we ever did get into an accident, we’d be safe. These days, car safety features involve a plethora of different systems and cameras to help us drive more safely and easily. There are many computers in modern cars that help to constantly calculate our trajectory and also watch for other vehicles on the road. If it notices something off, then it’ll instantly warn us so that we can correct our course and get into a safer situation.
In short, you’re less likely to get into an accident, less likely to need a car accident lawyer, and more likely to stay safe on the road. Of course, you’ll need to pick a car that has all of these new safety features, but that’s not difficult anymore considering how far car technology has come over the past few years.
It could be cheaper in the long run
A lot of people don’t realize just how expensive it can be to keep a vehicle running. This is especially true if you have a rather old vehicle that is expensive to repair because parts aren’t readily available. You might also be paying a higher insurance premium because of a lack of safety features, and you might be paying a lot for fuel because of its poor efficiency. Getting a new vehicle will greatly reduce these costs, making it cheaper in the long run. With the money you save, you can pay for local mobile auto detailers, repairs, servicing, and extras, much more easily too.
It can be surprisingly affordable
Buying a car is perhaps one of the more expensive things you could do, but as long as you’re willing to sell your car or swap it for something a little newer, then you could actually get a really good deal and make it an affordable purchase. Yes, buying a car costs a lot of money, but it’s much more affordable than you might think if you look for opportunities to trade in your current vehicle.
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
5 Tips For Dealing With Meeting Overload
How To Find The Best Level Of Care For An Elderly Relative
Growing old can be tough on both your physical and mental health. Losing mobility can mean that you lose independence, and unfortunately, it’s all too common to start losing those around you due to health conditions and other issues that affect the elderly. Offering your support to an elderly relative during their time of need could change their quality of life dramatically, giving them a pep in their step and a reason to carry on. It needn’t be difficult to provide your elderly relative with the helping hand that they need to thrive, as there are a few key areas in which you can focus your efforts to keep them as happy and healthy as possible. So, if you would like to find out more, then read on to uncover some of the best tips and tricks that you can utilize today!
The first step you should take when you gain the responsibility of caring for an elderly relative involves visiting their healthcare specialist to get a better idea of their current situation. They will be able to inform you of any specific issues such as difficulty with mobility, signs of Alzheimer’s, and any other potential issues that may need to be considered during your care. Their healthcare specialist will also be able to advise you on whether they believe your elderly relative can live comfortably in their own home or may feel better inside a specialized care facility that can meet their medical needs.
If it’s recommended that your elderly relative should stay in the comfort of their own home, it’s vital that you are able to make some adaptations to suit their requirements. This could mean installing grab bars in places such as the bathroom and corridors, as these can be used for extra balance and mobility when your relative moves around their house independently. In addition, a stairlift is an essential investment for a home that’s laid out over more than one level, as stairs are a real hazard area for the elderly and it simply isn’t worth the risk.
Staying social by meeting up with friends and family is something that you most likely take for granted, as this just isn’t possible for elderly people. It would be such a miserable existence if your elderly relative were to sit inside their care facility, watching and waiting for a visitor that never arrives as they see other residents meet with their nearest and dearest. You must make an effort to go and see them as much as you can, especially if they no longer live in their own home, as they need interaction with people they know and love! This will also give them the chance to discuss any issues they have. Every facility has a commitment to outstanding care and these expectations must always be met.
Melinda
What You Discover When You Really Listen
Homemade Orange Chia Simmering Potpourri *Great Gift Idea*
This is perfect for Fall and a great gift idea for the holiday season.
By Michelle Stewart
You Will Need
8 TB. orange peel
2 TB. tangerine peel
2 TB. whole cloves
2 TB. cinnamon chips
1 tsp. cardamom, decorticate
2 tsp. whole cardamom
1 TB. whole allspice
Bowl
Pot: heat-resistant
Glass spice jar: 6 oz.
Lable
To Make
Blend the citrus peel and spices together in a bowl. Boil a pot of water on the stove. Add1-2 tablespoons of potpourri to boiling water. Reduce heat to a simmer the spices as long as desired. The water will evaporate, so be sure to add more water as needed. You may reuse the same spices a few times during the week before discarding.
To Gift
Store potpourri in a glass spice jar and add a label.
My idea is, tie some raffia around the top with instructions.
Enjoy.
Melinda
ADHD Awareness Month
ADHD Awareness Month is celebrated every October, with events and activities happening all across the country and now, around the world, on the ground and on the Internet, capturing the notice of numerous national, regional and local media outlets resulting in articles, interviews and feature stories.
ADDA is a founding member of the ADHDAwarenessMonth.org coalition, along with ADHD Coaches Organization (ACO) and Children and Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder (CHADD).
This is the same group that brings you the International Conference on ADHD every year in November.
Every October, as we celebrate ADHD Awareness Month, you can count on ADDA to find ways to make it easier than ever for you, an adult with ADHD to help yourself.
That’s why our TADD Talks are a perennial hit! We ask the best of the best experts in adult ADHD to give our ADHD version of a “TED Talk.” Except TED talks are 18 minutes long. Our ADHD audience has a teeny bit of trouble paying attention so we cut that in half! TADD Talks are only 9 minutes long!
Subscribe to the ADDA Insider, and stay tuned all month (and year!) for exciting announcements that will help you help yourself.
—–
Difficulty with attention, concentration, memory, impulsivity, hyperactivity, and social skills — these are among the signs of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, which affects millions of Americans. ADHD Awareness Month, sponsored by the Attention Deficit Disorder Association and observed each October, highlights the latest research and clinical studies with the goal of bringing more effective treatments. Its guiding principle is that life can be better for those with ADHD and for those who love or work with someone with ADHD.
HOW TO OBSERVE NATIONAL ADHD AWARENESS MONTH
-
Get tested
You may have ADHD and not know it. If you’re prone to procrastination, have trouble focusing on a task, or otherwise lack motivation, you may have a form of ADHD. The World Health Organization offers a test with 18 questions that can help make a diagnosis.
-
Share your story
The American Deficit Disorder Association invites those diagnosed with ADHD to share their stories so the public can see the human face of the disorder. The best way to reduce the stigma is for those challenged by it to share their stories.
-
Provide support
ADHD associations throughout the country sponsor support groups for kids and adults who suffer from attention deficit disorders. Find out if there’s a local group in your area and learn what you can do to support efforts to bring the latest treatments to those who need them.
ADHD is can have a huge impact on children and adults alike. Please be aware of the signs and talk to your doctor or a professional if you have ongoing symptoms.
Stay Healthy,
Melinda
How To Deal With A Loved One’s Estate?
Grieving a loss is going to be one of the hardest times in most of our lives. It’s at times like these that some of us find it difficult to even think about concepts such as money or possessions. However, if a loved one has left an estate behind, then you need to make sure that it is dealt with appropriately. If you are the next of kin, it may be your responsibility to take care of it, too. So, what do you do about it?

Notify the appropriate parties
First of all, the Social Security Administration has to be notified if someone has passed away. There may be a legal team, such as a probate attorney, that your loved one has named as the executor of their estate. In such cases, you may have to do nothing except for getting in touch with them. If they haven’t named a probate attorney, it might be worth getting in touch with them yourself to help you go through the process legally and safely.
Take an inventory and protect it
When you are deciding how to handle your loved one’s possessions, then you will need to take an inventory of everything that they owned as best as possible. This will include any documents pertaining to assets or accounts that they own. To prevent theft or vandalism, you may want to move some assets to private storage but you should inform a probate lawyer if you plan to do this.
Claim any appropriate benefits
If you are aware of any life insurance policies, retirement accounts, or other benefits that your loved one may have received from employers, then it’s important to get the ball rolling on those claims. They may help to cover the costs of the funeral services and to help those who may be classified as dependents or beneficiaries of those benefits.
Liquidize what is necessary
Whether it’s necessary to take care of any accounts payable or simply to make the transfer of assets easier where no one is specifically named for receiving certain assets, you might want to liquidize some things. The best way to do this might be to work with professionals who set up local estate sales. This way, you can make sure that assets are handled as impartially as possible, paying only a portion of the return in exchange for the services provided and the sale facilitated.
Take care of any debts
There can be a lot of confusion around the debts that are left when someone has departed. However, in many cases, they are likely to still be responsible in so far as their estate can pay it out. This only counts for debts made their name only. Debts made under multiple names may fall in part or entirely to the other signers of the debt. Either way, it’s important to find out what debt a loved one has left, if possible, and to use the estate to pay off what you can. Otherwise, it may create legal problems as far as passing the estate on to others.
If you’re left to take care of a loved one’s estate, it’s important to go by the book as best as possible.
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
How To Keep Your Loved One Living Independently
If you and your parent are facing down the question of what to do, as their ability to live independently diminishes, you may be concerned about how well the options are going to suit your needs and preferences. However, there are various choices you may not have looked into. Here, we will quickly sum up the pros, cons, and purposes of each.
Family as caregiver
In a lot of cases, people will choose to act in the role of caregiver for their own loved one. In fact, more millennials are becoming caregivers for their loved ones for a variety of reasons. For one, it’s more affordable than any of the other options and you may even be able to get some state assistance to help you work as a caregiver without worrying as much about having to keep another job. However, a lot of people also like to be more hands-on to ensure their loved one’s needs are met. It’s a big challenge, but many people do meet it.
A nursing home
Nursing homes, also known as care homes, are often treated as the least preferable answer. However, aside from general old age care, these can be some of the best facilities for dementia care, physical disability care, or care for those with mental health disabilities. You need to make sure that the facility you choose is equipped to suit the individual needs of your parents, but nursing homes can be very effective solutions.
How are independent living communities different?
Not every age care facility is the same. Independent living communities, also known as senior living communities or retirement communities tend to be better suited to those who can live a little more independently but might still need help and assistance again. Teams like Care Patrol can help you find the specific communities suited to the precise needs in question. Many of them also come with luxury amenities and therapies to help your parent continue to age as best as possible.
Professional in-home care
One of the more expensive options, in-home care services like Visiting Angels allows your loved one to still live at home while having someone to come and make sure their needs are taken care of, often for the majority of the day. In some cases, you can even get live-in home care but that can be even more costly.
Temporary or respite care
When it comes to in-home care, there is a hybrid option so that you don’t have to choose between paying large fees for constant professional care but you also don’t have to devote as large a portion to your life to being a caregiver. A lot of in-home care services also offer temporary or respite care, which allows you some personal time while making sure your loved one’s needs are still being met to your standards.
Which option works best is going to depend on the needs and abilities of you and your parent. This choice can’t be made for you but hopefully, the points above have given you some places to start looking.
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
6 Simple Tips for Setting up a Home Workshop for Your Home Business
Every business operated from home requires some dedicated workspace. Accordingly, there are many options for a home workspace. However, not every business needs the same home office. For some, like freelance photography, you may convert your garage into a studio, while a portion of your living room can serve as a better workspace for freelance writing business.
In other words, setting up a home workshop for your home business depends on the kind of business you run. Here are six simple tips for setting up a home workspace for your home business.
Think about privacy
Any business run from home is prone to interference from different people within the house. Therefore, it is crucial to think about how you can separate your workspace from your home to reduce distractions. A great idea would be to create a dedicated room for work and separate from your family. There are many ways of separating your workspace. For instance, you can enclose part of the garage and use it as a workshop.
Make it unique
Your workspace should support what you do and keep you engaged. That is why you cannot use your living room when the TV is on as a workshop. However, you can make your workspace as unique as possible to enhance engagement and productivity. Think about using colors and other aspects to personalize your workshop.
Consider different options
There are many options when it comes to setting up a dedicated workspace at home. Think about the garage, the kitchen, and other available rooms. Whether you want to build an outdoor structure or convert an existing space, you must consider your options carefully. This way, you can make your workshop as motivational and inspiring as possible.
Prioritize functionality
Your workshop should be suitable for work all year round. For instance, if you want to convert your garage into a workspace, be sure to change the doors to make it look like an office. You may also need pest control services to make it functional. Consider everything you may need to do to make your workshop look better and ready for work.
Make it more comfortable and warmer
If you are turning your garage into a dedicated workspace, you may want to insulate it to make it more comfortable and welcoming. Secondary glazing installation on the windows may serve you well. You may also need extra floor insulation. This strategy will help you reduce your heating expenses and make your workplace warmer.
Security is crucial
Every business needs security regardless of the setting and size. Accordingly, it is only a matter of time before people find out you run a home business. That is why you should ensure your business is secure, especially if you separate it from the main house. Invest in solar streetlights and a security alarm system to protect your business equipment.
Final thoughts
It is crucial to designate a dedicated workspace for your home business to reduce distractions and increase productivity. Protect what is essential to your business by creating a safe, secure, and productive workshop. This aspect will help you keep stress levels low and focus on core functions.
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
World Food Day
Our Actions are our Future
The food you choose and the way you consume it affect our health and that of our planet.
It has an impact on the way agri-food systems work.
So you need to be part of the change.Learn more

Take action
As a global community, we each have a role to play in the transformation of agri-food systems – from governments to private companies, farmers, civil society, academia, and all individuals, including youth! Together we can empower each and every element of our agri-food systems to collaborate more fairly, sustainably and inclusively from farm to table, and beyond.
We can all learn from nature by acting with nature.
Melinda
Book Review for Hope Amid the Pain by Leslie L. McKee
I want to thank Leslie L. McKee for sharing an advanced copy of Hope Amid the Pain: Hanging On to Positive Expectations When Battling Chronic Pain and Illness (a 60-Day Devotional Journal) for an honest review.
HOPE Amid the Pain
Hanging On to Positive Expectations When Battling Chronic Pain and Illness (a 60-Day Devotional Journal)
©2021 by Leslie L. McKee
176 pages
Publish Date: October 25, 2021
About the Author
Leslie is an author, editor, and reviewer. She is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers and The Christian PEN. Some of her devotionals were published in compilations by Ellie Claire in 2017 and 2020. Her flash fiction stories have been published with Havok, Splickety, and Spark (websites, magazines, and anthologies). Her devotional journal (HOPE Amid The Pain: Hanging on to Positive Expectations When Battling Chronic Illness and Pain) will soon be published with Ambassador International. She enjoys reading, playing piano, crocheting, spending time with family and friends (and her turtle!), and rooting for the NY Giants.
Blurb
Why me? Is God punishing me? Is my faith not strong enough for God to heal me? How can I achieve my dreams? What’s my purpose?
If you’re someone living with a chronic illness or chronic pain, these are just a few of the questions you’ve likely asked on more than one occasion. You may feel overlooked or even resentful. You try to stay positive, but some days it’s hard. It’s natural to feel this way and grieve, but it’s still possible to have a hope-filled life. God has a purpose for the pain.
Christians aren’t immune from pain and illness, but we don’t have to go through it alone. Jesus promised that He would “never leave you nor forsake you” (Deuteronomy 31:6 NIV).
Millions of women suffering from chronic pain and illness want the reassurance they’re not alone. The devotions in Hope Amid the Pain are written by a chronic pain warrior with over twenty-five years’ experience and will point the reader to hope and encouragement. It’s possible to Hang On to Positive Expectations (HOPE) even amid the pain.
What Others Are Saying
Beautifully written, HOPE Amid the Pain tugs at the heart with both practical and spiritual instruction. Anyone who is or has suffered with crippling and debilitating pain or illness will find encouragement and support in this devotional. Spirit-lifting, wise, and filled with inspiration, this devotional is sure to strengthen hearts for wherever the Lord is leading.
Debbie Macomber | #1 NYT Bestselling Author
McKee writes with compassion and understanding. Words of grace and compassion for those struggling with chronic pain.
Vannetta Chapman | USA Today bestselling author
As a mental health therapist I often look for resources for clients who struggle with chronic mental and physical illnesses. Leslie L. McKee speaks from personal experience as a woman who suffers from chronic illness. She has combined her personal experience, her deep faith in Christ, and her writing skills to provide a devotional which will truly minister to women who are fellow travelers on the chronic illness journey. Her format provides encouragement with practical application based on Scripture. I can’t wait to be able to offer such a devotional to my clients.
Patricia J Edwards| LCSW, TheAntioch Group
My Thoughts
Leslie has been a chronic pain warrior for over twenty years and understands the challenges we face daily. She does a great job of lifting you up; it’s like a gentle hug from a friend.
The journal covers topics like:
Don’t Settle
You Are Enough
Rest Stop
Through The Fire
Leslie also offers a Resource guide at the back of the book and a chapter on Scriptures.
I think it’s a great gift for you or someone you care for who has a chronic illness or suffers from chronic pain. Self-care is critical to our overall health and especially our mental health.
Leslie’s book is a must buy and will be a resource you will refer to again and again.
Melinda
Repost from 2021
Will Having Children Change Your Marriage?
There is no denying that your life is going to change once you have children. This is the biggest change in anyone’s life. You and your partner have created another human. You will experience a love you have never experienced before. You will have a sense of responsibility you have never experienced before. You will be doing and learning about things you have never done before. It is only natural that this has an impact on the dynamic of your relationship. So, with that being said, let’s take a look at some of the common ways that relationships change once you have had kids.

Your relationship will end up getting a bit neglected
This is only natural. You don’t end up nurturing or prioritizing your relationship in the way that you should because you now have a crying baby to attend to all of the time. You will not have the attention and time you did for one and another before the baby. This can be difficult. However, it is important to try and make some time for one and another whenever you can. If your family offers to look after your baby so you can have a date night, take advantage of it.
You have a new bond
No matter how tough it gets, you will find that you have a new bond. Yes, lack of sleep takes its toll. Nevertheless, you have brought a beautiful baby into the world, which makes you smile and laugh. You will feel closer than ever. Despite the ups and downs, this strong sense of unity will be there.
You might hate your partner a little bit
Hate is a bit of a strong word here because it is rarely genuine hate, although it can feel like it at the time. You may find yourself snapping at your partner 24/7 or resenting them for going to work. It is important to recognize that your hormones are all over the place. You may think you need a divorce lawyer, but try to be patient and work through it. Of course, there are cases whereby divorce is the only option but take your time here. Most people refer to this stage as early mood swings. Not only have you gone through hormonal changes but you are probably suffering from a severe lack of sleep too. This is completely normal, so long as it does not turn into postpartum depression.
As you can see, there are a number of different ways that your relationship may change once you have had children. Some of these changes are positive and some are negative. However, it is important to acknowledge and accept these changes. Don’t be hard on yourself or your partner. You are both adjusting to a new way of life, and that in itself can be a challenge. Nevertheless, it is the most beautiful challenge of them all!
This is a collaborative post.
Melinda
Do You Have Seasonal Affective Disorder?
What is Seasonal Affective Disorder?
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is an older term for Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) with a seasonal pattern. It’s a psychological condition that results in depression which is normally provoked by seasonal change. The condition most often occurs in women, adolescents, and young adults.
Many times people will start to see a pattern to their depression as the seasons change. This is common in the winter months and in areas where it is darker more than there is light outside. SAD is more common the countries like Alaska and Canada than in South America.
SAD is classified into two types, one in the Summertime and the other in the Wintertime. The symptoms are markedly different.

Summertime symptoms are:
agitation
difficulty sleeping
increased restlessness
lack of appetite
weight loss
Wintertime symptoms are:
daytime fatigue
difficulty concentrating
feelings of hopelessness
increased irritability
lack of interest in social activities
lethargy
reduced sexual interest
unhappiness
weight gain
How do you know if you have Seasonal Affective Disorder?
If you notice these symptoms you should talk with your doctor right away and it would help if you kept a journal as to when the depression started. This will help the doctor make a correct diagnosis especially if you notice the changes appear to be seasonal. The more information you can provide the doctor more accurately they can diagnosis your depression.
How do you treat Seasonal Affective Disorder?
Your doctor can determine the best treatment and in severe cases, may prescribe medication or a combination of treatments. One treatment known to help is Light Box Therapy or a Lamp because they are specially designed to put out a minimum of 10,000 Lux full-spectrum light.
Here’s my post on the Top 5 SAD Lamps
I hope you will seek out more information and talk with your doctor if your symptoms are troubling you.
Melinda
Reference
https://www.healthline.com/health
Re-post SAD is not just the winter blues — and it may be hitting you harder this year
IDEAS.TED.COM
Dec 9, 2020 / Mary Halton
This post is part of TED’s “How to Be a Better Human” series, each of which contains a piece of helpful advice from people in the TED community; browse through all the posts here.
If the darkening evenings and turning leaves induce a mild sense of dread in you every year, you’re not alone.
With the arrival of winter, many of us experience Seasonal Affective Disorder — which bears the appropriate acronym of SAD — and can bring on a depressed mood, loss of interest in things that you normally enjoy, and changes in sleep and appetite. While there aren’t conclusive figures, it is thought to affect between one and nine percent of the population, depending on where you live.
Although we may think of it as being a distinct affliction of its own, SAD is actually classified as either bipolar or major depressive disorder, but with a seasonal pattern. This means that people who experience it feel much worse in the fall and winter and relatively balanced or potentially even manic in the summer months, explains Kathryn Roecklein PhD, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Pittsburgh who studies the condition.
“Depression itself is pretty episodic,” says Roecklein. “You have a period of it, and then it goes away. The distinction [with SAD] is the seasonal recurrence.” It also appears that SAD is two to four times more common amongst women.
Even though we are making greater efforts as a society to recognize the importance of our mental health, it can be tempting to dismiss SAD as a touch of the “winter blues” and to try to get on with life as usual. But the best approach, Roecklein says, is to accept and recognize that it’s something that we may genuinely suffer from — and need treatment for. Just as we would for heart disease or diabetes.
Why does winter make us SAD?
The story of SAD starts with our circadian rhythm — our internal body clock that tells us when to eat, go to sleep and wake up.
For the most part, we tend not to think too much about this system unless we have an unexpectedly late night or take a long-haul flight. But chronobiologist Emily Manoogian PhD says it plays a much more significant role.
“The circadian system is directly tied to how our brain functions, and this affects our cognitive ability, our behavior, our mood and our ability to remember things,” says Manoogian, who researches circadian rhythms at the Salk Institute for Biological Studies in California. “The circadian system is important for making sure that throughout your body and brain, regions are talking to each other the way that they should be and everything is balanced. We know that circadian disruption is heavily associated with every form of affective disorder — such as major depressive disorder, bipolar disorder, etc.”
Increased darkness in the fall and winter months is something that humans on much of the planet have experienced for thousands of years, but our technological advancement — in particular, artificial light — is interfering with this natural occurrence. Light is one of the most powerful stimuli for our circadian systems, and since the advent of electricity we’ve been sending our bodies a lot of mixed messages.
“This environment that we’ve created is inherently disruptive — it’s not lights on and off at a constant time to allow for a proper rest for our body; it’s lights on when we need to be up for work on some days, and then off later on other days,” explains Manoogian. “That creates this kind of social jetlag. That’s also going to make it a lot harder to sleep, and it can compromise health over time.”
Manoogian is also not a fan of daylight savings time. She says, “It shifts our exposure to sunlight later in the day and thus shifts our biological clocks. In the summer, we are getting sunlight later than we should, and when days are shorter, we are waking up in darkness. But the problem is that we still have to start work or school at the same times. This means that our schedules and our body are on different times, and this disrupts the circadian system.”
Although there is no evidence connecting it directly to SAD, daylight savings time is known to be widely disruptive to society and potentially even associated with cardiac health risks. There’s a growing movement to do away with the twice-annual time switch in several Canadian provinces, where Saskatchewan and (as of 2020) the Yukon Territory stick to the same time year-round, and similar proposals are being considered in other jurisdictions around the world.
What can you do?
As with any disorder, your treatment depends in part on severity. If SAD is significantly disrupting your life or making you feel as though life is not worth living anymore, it’s deeply important for you to reach out immediately to a mental health professional who can support you. Roecklein says that effective treatment options include taking medication, receiving cognitive behavioral therapy tailored to treating SAD, or using a SAD lamp (which delivers a higher dose of light than regular indoor lighting), but they should be explored under professional guidance.
If you’re wondering what to do because you’ve already bought a SAD lamp to use on your own, Roecklein says that there could be side effects. The most likely one, which is mild, is that you will feel it isn’t effective. This doesn’t mean that it can’t be the right therapy for you in conjunction with professional guidance — for instance, you could be using it at the wrong times or for the wrong duration. At the other end of the scale, mania is a very rare but significant side effect of improper use.
However, there are some relatively easy things you can do to support your circadian rhythms in everyday life. And while these aren’t guaranteed treatments for SAD, they can help give your body a stabilizing sense of routine.
Keep a consistent schedule, especially if you work from home
This doesn’t need to be a rigid, planned-down-to-10-minute increments affair; it’s more about keeping the stimuli that speak to your circadian system arriving roughly when it expects them, says Manoogian. Social interactions and food are two important circadian cues, so having regular mealtimes and breaks where you make a phone call, go for a walk or talk with other members of your household can really help.
Exercise is another important cue
It’s hard to get — and stay — motivated during a winter of pandemic-related restrictions, so any exercise is better than no exercise at all, emphasizes Manoogian. However, if you do choose to exercise outside, she says that the morning is a good time for your body to get some much needed natural light.
The only time for you to avoid exercising, if possible, is right before bed. When you do, it sends a confusing message to your body that night is a time to be active rather than to prepare for sleep.
Maximizing your light exposure is key
How much light we experience at different times of the day is important. Increasing the amount of light you get in the morning is helpful, whereas increasing your light exposure in the evening can be counterproductive.
So if your morning commute has changed from an hour in the car or on transit to a quick switch from your bed to your desk, you’re losing out on a lot of daylight that you are used to receiving just when you need it most. Taking a morning walk before you start your day, or even sitting near a bright window for the first half of your day can really help.
At night, reducing your light exposure and making your sleeping environment as dark as possible is also of huge benefit, explains Roecklein. “Most circadian biologists and sleep researchers I know have blackout shades and no night lights in their rooms — we don’t even have clocks with illuminated screens.”
No, it’s not just you — 2020 may be making your SAD worse
It’s difficult to separate the impacts of factors like the COVID-19 pandemic, the associated economic downturn and the psychological toll of the current political climate. But Roecklein has noted, at least anecdotally among the people in her SAD study, that there seems to be a higher instance of what psychologists refer to as “negative anticipatory cognitions” — where people consistently expect things to be worse in 2020 than in other years.
Roecklein also notes that experiencing negative life events — such as a bereavement, job loss or some other major change that requires large adjustment — as well as reduced opportunities for social and physical activity are additional risk factors for SAD. These areas of our lives have all been significantly impacted by COVID-19, so she and her colleagues anticipate a higher risk of people experiencing SAD this year.
However, there may be one small silver lining to the current situation, says Manoogian. While routine is very important for our bodies, a regular 9-5 work day can be very unnatural for those of us who aren’t morning people.
“The typical workday schedule is an artificial time that not everyone is able to stick to,” she explains. “If you work from home and you have a little bit of freedom about when you work, this could provide a very interesting opportunity for you to actually coordinate your schedule more with your internal clock.”
Sometimes it’s OK to doomscroll
Lastly, Roecklein wants to stress that although a routine is important, we are living through monumental events that are unfolding right before our eyes. And if we occasionally want to stay up a few hours later to feel better informed or more connected to other people experiencing the same thing… that’s actually fine.
“We take a moment to care for ourselves by thinking about the pros and cons. So there may be some nights where staying up late and doomscrolling is a choice one might make for good reasons,” says Roecklein. “But then on other nights, when we think about what we want most for ourselves — like better energy in the morning, a more positive mood, better alertness for the endless Zoom meetings — we might be more motivated to turn off devices, turn off the TV, dim the lights, and do all of those things that can help you wind down. Give yourself the chance to make that decision, and make the decision that’s right for you.”
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Mary Halton is Assistant Ideas Editor at TED, and a science journalist based in the Pacific Northwest.
Just Pondering
When was the last time you had a good laugh? What was so funny?
Have a great day and remember to take care of yourself. You matter.
Melinda
30 Years Ago This Month My Life Changed Forever
At 28 years old the last thing you expect to hear is you have cancer! I had been for my annual gynecological exam and the doctor called me back in for a follow-up. Not a good sign. At the appointment, he informed me I had Cervical Cancer and was unsure how far it had spread and wanted to do a couple of non-invasive procedures first.
He did two procedures without success and the decision was made I needed a hysterectomy. It was hard to hear at that young of an age, not to mention I was not married and had no children. Not that children were high on my list since I was very career-driven but it was an option.
When looking further into my family history he noticed both my mother and grandmother had Ovarian Cancer at a young age, both had a hysterectomy, and my risk of developing it was high. He recommended a total hysterectomy which meant having children was no longer an option.
It only took a few minutes to decide my health was most important and developing cancer a second time was not a risk I wanted to take.
The surgery was a success and I did not require chemotherapy which was a huge blessing.
Please keep your annual appointments, one year can make all the difference.
I don’t have any children and my life is still full and no worse off without them. I would rather be at a lower risk of repeat cancer, it was a great decision.
Melinda
Breast Cancer Awareness Month
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, an annual campaign to raise awareness about the impact of breast cancer. Join us as we RISE together to help uplift women in need.

The past year has posed a challenge to just about everything, and breast cancer prevention is no exception. Although we saw setbacks in screenings and early detection, we’re rising to the challenge together.
For the past 30 years, NBCF has supported women by helping them get access to the education, screening, and support they need. This is our moment to rise up and do even more.

Take the eBook Quiz
Knowledge is power. Get free, customized eBook recommendations just for you.
October 16th: National Mammography Day
National Mammography Day is a part of Breast Cancer Awareness month and is celebrated on the third Friday of October every year.
Mammograms are a hugely important aspect of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, as millions of women across the globe are encouraged to attend Mammography screenings as part of the defence against developing breast cancer.
According to the CDC, cancer is the second biggest cause of death among Americans. Breast cancer is among the most common diagnosis in women, and screenings and exams are crucial for early detection and treatment.


——
Do you ever feel like you’re not enough?
IDEAS.TED.COM
Mar 6, 2019 / Mary Halton
If your self-worth seems to rise and fall according to what other people think, you’re not alone. But you can challenge this mindset and find a new way of valuing yourself, says psychologist Meag-gan O’Reilly.
This post is part of TED’s “How to Be a Better Human” series, each of which contains a piece of helpful advice from someone in the TED community. To see all the posts, go here.
“How often do you get asked ‘What do you do?’ and feel like that question is going to determine how much attention or respect you receive?” That’s a question posed by Meag-gan O’Reilly, staff psychologist at Stanford University’s Vaden Health Center in Palo Alto, California, in a TEDxSJSU talk.
Perhaps you had the stomach-sinking experience of seeing your questioner’s face change or their eyes glaze over when they hear your response. It’s lousy. Instead of being seen and appreciated for all of your complicated individuality, you feel like your worth has been judged in a flash — and found wanting.
But getting a nod of approval is also unsettling, says O’Reilly. “Even those of us who seem to be winning at these conditions stand to lose because conditions change with time, age or unexpected hardships.”
O’Reilly recalls a vivid example from her own life. Once, at a party, she went up to the host — someone she’d never met before — to thank him for his hospitality. She smiled, stuck out her hand, and, she recalls, “I was met with the response of ‘Qualify yourself.’ … That’s when his friend beside him reiterated the question with more clarity: ‘Qualify yourself; tell him why he should talk to you.’”
O’Reilly says, “Immediately my mind split into two paths. The first and more dominant voice got to work on the task … What are the bells and whistles of my existence that I can showcase to woo and persuade this person I’m worth his time?”
Meanwhile, the other part of her was stunned, as she put it, that “there was a litmus test for conversation. I’m happy to say that this part of me won out. I didn’t engage. I simply said, ‘Thanks again for hosting’ and walked away.”
This incident spurred O’Reilly to think about how small moments like these can chip away at our self-worth. “As a psychologist who’s heard and held hundreds of human stories, I have witnessed firsthand how this mentality of feeling like you are not enough has stolen dreams, ambitions, relationships, health and happiness away from people,” she says.
For some of us, these encounters echo earlier occasions in our lives when we felt like our value as a person was determined by other people — usually adults — and fluctuated depending on what they thought of our latest grade, game, performance or accomplishment. O’Reilly says, “Think to yourself for a moment: What were some of the early messages you received about who you needed to be to show up in the world as meaningful?”
No matter how deep-rooted these experiences and feelings are, we can free ourselves from thinking that we’re not enough. This undoing may take a while to happen so we should be patient, cautions O’Reilly. “It’s a process, and I call it lifespan work.”
Here’s how we can start challenging the not-enough mindsets in ourselves and in the people around us, according to O’Reilly.
1. Do what makes you — not other people — happy.
Feeling like you’re not enough can sometimes lead you to take on certain friends, hobbies, projects or jobs that you think will make you look good in other people’s estimation. O’Reilly asks: “When was the last time you did something not because it’s going to show up on your resume, not because it meets that condition of worth you’re wrestling with, but just because you enjoyed it?”
It’s important to pursue the things that you genuinely enjoy because “it softens our stance toward ourselves,” says O’Reilly. “It allows us a zoomed-out perspective and gives us a chance to experience ourselves and others in a non-conditional way.” When you’re in the flow of doing what you love, you can shake off the weight of judgements and expectations.
2. Recognize that you have value — period.
Believing you’re enough does not mean that you should lower the bar for what you’d like to accomplish in life, emphasizes O’Reilly; it’s just that your personal enoughness remains constant and isn’t affected by your actions. She says, “Please go and achieve much. But do it in such a way that you know there’s a floor or a baseline of worth that you cannot descend below.”
Contrary to what some people fear, recognizing our inherent self-worth does not mean that we’ll be full of our own self-importance. O’Reilly says, “An inflated sense of self-esteem sounds like … ‘I can do it, I’m the best,” whether or not that’s actually true.” Inherent value, she adds, “sounds like ‘This is important to me, and I’m going to do my best … but it doesn’t define me.’”
3. When you meet new people, go beyond your job, title or school.
If we’d like to remove the judgment associated with the “So, what do you do?” question, we can also change how we respond to it. “The next time someone asks you what you do, don’t provide an occupation or field of study,” says O’Reilly. “Instead, share with them something that you cherish about yourself; try to break interpersonal ground with them and not start with labels.” (For more advice on the topic, read the TED Ideas article “How to introduce yourself so you’ll be unforgettable — in a good way.”)
4. Respond with love and acceptance to the successes and failures of your family, friends and colleagues.
Similar to the previous point, we need to try to model a new way of being if we want to ease the not-enough mindset in the people around us. Given how achievement-oriented society can be, says O’Reilly, “this is difficult … but a person is not a product and we need a culture that delineates the two and helps us see that one does not define the other.”
Wouldn’t you like the most important people in your life — young or old — to feel like they are enough? By appreciating them and showing that your care for them is unconditional, you can create change that will ripple outwards. “Enough is enough with these worth wars we’re waging,” O’Reilly says. “Think about how radically different our world and relationships would be if each of us actually acted like we all had inherent value.”
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Mary Halton is Assistant Ideas Editor at TED, and a science journalist based in the Pacific Northwest.




