Dedicated to S
One life long friend I can turn to in good and bad times. I’m hurting, I’m sharing my pain with you. Music always fills me, Harry must be my healer today. To funny!!
I know, you know, I know? What do you know, I don’t know?
Xx Melinda
Category: Moving Forward
Fav Bridesmaids & Groomsmen Dance *The Dude Can Dance*
Xx M
How Many People Can Fit In A Van?
I found a way to celebrate my followers, looking beyond post into their personal life. I look forward to learning knowing more. No follower is safe! No Opt Out!
Bloggers have followers who bring sunshine with every comment, conversation.Van gives me the blessing every time we have a conversation. Not all conversations are funny as a toad. That’s Texan speak if you didn’t understand the reference.
Please give a Huge welcome to Van By The River. http://www.vanbytheriver.wordpress.com
Here are answers to the questions “only Van” could answer while laughing along with us.
“First job was as a soda jerk at a local pharmacy. I dipped ice cream, served soft drinks and infrared sandwiches (pre-Microwave). I was 15 and it was a local teen hangout…so, it was fun.”
“Favorite job was probably the one I retired from. Hotel sales manager, but I started on the front desk.I loved the interaction with all kinds of folks, mostly travelers, mostly happy to be there. Maybe the best part was that I left it all there “at the office”. I never had that before, and it was a treat. My other career choices, especially teaching, required a lot of my personal time.”
“Van by the River came because of my affection for the Matt Foley character, always a favorite. It seemed to fit in many ways. I have always lived near water, mostly rivers, but not in a van. His character was a motivational speaker, which was always a dream job for me. My kids knew of my love for SNL characters, and the cartoon van on my avatar came from a t-shirt they gifted me.”
“This is my first blog, but I have always written, kept journals, recorded thoughts and feelings, mostly for myself. I found WP through a piece written by a friend and was intrigued. The year my youngest sister died (2012), I decided to record some family history and transferred a few of those journal entries to the blog. I only posted a short time, and left it until September of 2014, where I came back to post more regularly. The blog started to get noticed when I used tags and categories for the first time.”
“My favorite recipes are the ones that have a story behind them, and I’ve posted about those a bit here on the blog. Clam chowder from a cancer- stricken friend, pie from a co-worker with a tragic history, peach kuchen from my first home economics class, my mother’s home-made pizza crust from a happier time, etc. I also have a lot of potluck recipes, party foods, etc. from a time when social life was going strong…those have sweet memories.”
“I read a lot of blogs, but I like the ones that are personal, where folks share their life story. I can spot a fake pretty easily, authenticity matters to me. I also like the ones that are creative, original, artistic, and most of all…with a sense of humor. I have to say…the shorter posts are my favorites. If it’s 800-1000 words, I’m not going there, usually.”
Here are a couple touching comments Van has left me.
“I was thinking about you M. when a story was featured recently about a young girl who was blessed during the Pope’s visit this past year. She has shown great improvement, some say miraculously since then. But, it turns out, the attention her case received got her additional medical scrutiny. She was actually suffering from Lyme, which had been mis-diagnosed by earlier doctors. Amazing. Hope you are doing well. 💕 Hugs”
“You are counted as in the van if in you leave a like or comment. I hope you enjoyed, more profiles/introductions are planed.”
Van has given me joy when I didn’t have any. She is 100% positive, if not, you need the wake up call. From my heart, there aren’t enough words to say how I value our friendship.
Lyme has taken a toll on my body, I can hardly walk. I have awesome followers, it’s taken longer to roll out introductions. I may walk slow but Lyme will not hold me down long.
Xx Melinda
I Think Of You Every Second
I’m grieving a life, a life taken to the sky. Why a country song hit me so hard, I don’t know. Does she like country music? The uncontrollable tears may come from God, being there for me, when the pain doesn’t end. The tears maybe the first of many. I did not ask for promises. I shared the challenges of my mental illness, praying you would not feel alone in your pain. Being real but hoping to empower, no-one can make someone change their plan, only they can. I start praying, please God take her in your arms, show her how love feels, please make her journey beyond earth the greatest years of her life.
I will miss you, I’m scared, please answer my email today. My heart is bleeding, all I need is to know you’re alive. God will always have your back and never stops loving you.
This rendition was updated to celebrate 50 years of Country Music Awards (CMA). Beautiful song, it’s impossible to not appreciate the talent and their voices together.
I will always love you. By the One and only Dolly
Melinda
What Is A Weed?
And what is a weed? A plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
He Named The Posts: Let’s Stop Calling It Mental Illness
In 11 years of Blogging, I can’t recall a time going flip out, full rant on anyone. Today changed everything. We are all due our opinion, we live in the great country of America. People have the same right to voice an opposing view. It’s important my friends and followers know what I will fight for and what my true passions are. Mental Health is on top of the list, I advocate, help anyone who ask, manage my own mental health on a daily basis. I returned home late last night from D.C. and pretty tired today, I could have read the post wrong. Here are a few comments by someone who knows nothing about mental illness. Xx M
*So why then are we still calling these very physical and real illnesses “mental illness”?*
*So why when someone has an illness in their brain, do we call it a mental illness?*
My thoughts on post
While I agree on some points, you are way off base speaking on mental illness. No longer saying someone has a mental illness? WOW!! Mental illness is a serious illness the same as cancer, losing a limb or going blind. First Cancer has no cure, you want to just say oh, there sick? Instead of calling someone an amputee, oh they lost their leg, this person sufferers from endless pain battling their brain, the good and the worst.
When someone is in a dark depression and wants to kill themselves, oh, they had a bad day. They don’t have an illness. I usually don’t reply to you because you seem to like getting people worked up. I draw my line at mental illness, I don’t know anyone who says I deserve more treatment than the next illness because I have a mental illness. Are all people with mental illness living the best like possible, hell no, nor are other with or without a flu or long-term illness. Mental illness is a dysfunction of the brain, there are several categories/symptoms that help doctors diagnosis and work to find the right mix of medication. I’m 52, diagnosed at 19 years old, I’ve stayed in a Psychiatric Hospital to prevent me from killing myself, on more than one occasion. My depression can get so bad I can’t function in reality and need ECT to reset my brain. I’ve had 20 ECT Treatments, if you lookup what is involved and the risk, I think you would agree a very ill person would go through ECT. In 2005 the Vagus Nerve Stimulator was implanted in my chest, it looks like a pace maker, leads are attached to my right Vagus Nerve. Clinical Trials were promising, many saw relief very quickly, I was not one of those. I have taken responsibility for my illness, as I would any other illness I have like, Chronic Lyme Diseases.
Yes, I agree Medical company discriminate against people with mental illness and Lyme Disease when writing policies. One way Insurance companies screw patients over is benefiting from other organizations who determine in all their wisdom, this is the treatment and how long the person needs treatment. I’ll give you an example of Chronic Lyme, the CDC does not agree Chronic Lyme exists or the need for long-term treatment is not needed. The CDC says all Lyme cases can be cured in 4-6 weeks of antibiotics, 8 weeks at most. If the CDC takes the position of only short-term treatment is necessary, Medicare/Medicaid will only cover the recommendations of CDC. If Medicare/Medicare and other government agencies do not pay for long-term treatment, the insurance hop on the train, because it saves them money. They only pay what the CDC recommends if coverage at all.
My insurance company refused to pay anything towards treat meant except RX’s after co-pay just like other. I spent 9 months on IV Therapy, tons of meds and supplements, traveling to DC once a month while on IV’s. Each visit which included some IV supplies and meds. The cost per month $6,000 to $10,000 a month. We have spent over $100K to reach life beyond IV’s, the doctor is expecting 12-18 months to get well. Yes, I understand all to well how patients get fucked over. Mental Health is the same, you are covered but at a lesser rate. There are thousands of bloggers on WP with a mental illness, I can tell you for certain, they will not agree the name of our brain illness should go away. You get enough people on a committee who think shallow about what is and isn’t an illness and you’ll have every disease you don’t respect or understand on the take the name of illness way.
Blogs are open for everyone to speak their opinion, you’ve done that and now other bloggers have the right to disagree and let you know about. Maybe next time before throwing a thought out, you should do some research to understand others and their struggles. You of anyone else.
Reading the comments of followers are quite sad. Good day for you, they all agree
Throw Back Thursday *Taking It To The Streets*
I still love to chill with great bands of the past,so many memories. Have a great weekend.
Be careful. Xx M
Battling the Ravages of Lyme Disease
The heartwarming story of Laurel Ferretti is from The Lyme Letter written by Doctor Jemsek.
Battling the Ravages of Lyme Disease, How Faith Carried Me Through: By http://eepurl.com/cdzloL
The newsletter also has great information on Supplements, questions and answer section, and list of books and videos.
Xx M
ILADS Response To Centers of Medicare/Medicaid Services of Health & Human Services
The International Lyme Disease Association (ILADS) http://ilads.org, knows Chronic Lyme Disease exists, requiring extensive treatment currently restricted by the Center of Disease Control. The letter is a proactive communication advocating for longer treatment options.
Taken From ILADS letter to Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services Department of Health and Human Services.
RE: Proposed Rule concerning antibiotic stewardship in Hospitals, Critical Access Hospitals and Nursing Homes
Additionally, the proposed rule emphasizes measures to eliminate discrimination directed at certain groups. The ILADS comment pointed out that persons with Lyme disease and tick-borne infections constitute a large and growing class of individuals subjected to severe and unjust discrimination which requires recognition and correction. Specifically, although many individuals in this group of patients often require longer courses of antimicrobials than are commonly prescribed, many are denied appropriate care based on arbitrary protocols that do not consider the specifics of their case. While ILADS recognizes that there are differences of opinion in the literature, after a thorough review of the evidence regarding Borrelia burgdorferi, the agent of Lyme disease, ILADS concluded that here is substantial scientific support for persistent infection. For this reason, ILADS promotes the selective and judicious use of extended antimicrobial therapy in patients with Lyme disease rather than the arbitrarily proscribed treatment durations championed by others.
http://www.ilads.org/ilads_news/2016/ilads-statement-on-cms-proposed-rule-concerning-antibiotic-stewardship/
To read the entire response, click on link above. You will see the organizations fundamental beliefs, commitment to improving treatment for Lyme and other tick borne illnesses. The archives contain letters, videos and much more. A wealth of knowledge on Lyme and tick-borne illnesses are available.
Melinda :)
Throw Back Thursday *George Harrison & Friends*
My heart bleeds for a friend suffering from a dark depression. Have you struggled this week? Feeling pain, fear, lonely, unloved? Tomorrow the sun rises, I pray the clouds lift bringing peace to our lives. Xx M
You Go Judge! How about solving this at the Debate tonight?
The leaders of the future, our children must have an education to build on. Chime in and please pass around. Let’s help find and fix problem, not set back and see. :) M
“Connecticut State Superior Court Judge Thomas G. Moukawsher threw out the state’s school financing system as unconstitutional, his unsparing 90-page ruling read and resonated like a cry from the heart on the failings of American public education.”
Some excerpts from NYTimes: An F-Minus for America’s Schools From a Fed-Up Judge:
- “Uselessly perfect teacher evaluations” that found “virtually every teacher in the state” proficient or exemplary, while a third of students in many of the poorest communities cannot read even at basic levels.
- He attacked a task force charged with setting meaningful high school graduation requirements for how its “biggest thought on how to fix the problem turned out to be another task force,” and called it “a kind of a spoof.”
- Too many American high school graduates are “let down by patronizing and illusory degrees”
- Too many decisions and too much debate about schools seem, as he wrote, “completely disconnected…
View original post 226 more words
I’m Mourning And She’s Still Alive
What is a Caregiver? A person who gives every ounce of themselves to comfort the dying.
PUBLISHED ON February 6, 2006
The caregiver posts were my first attempt at blogging. I needed an outlet to avoid dumping all in husbands lap.
My grandmother passed away in 2005 from Dementia related to Strokes. I’m reposting for caregivers who give freely every ounce to keep loved one comfortable in their last hours. Just one piece of advice if I may, Take time to clear your head, 10 or 30 minutes whatever you can do for yourself each week. I had brain drain after both of their deaths, my body was physically broken down. Due to the nature of the illness, it’s hard to take an eye off 24/7. I was fortunate we had hospice care for Granny. My grandfather was healthy enough to help, crushing to see the emotions as his wife for over 50 years slipped away.
I’m Morning and She’s Still Alive
As the main caregiver for my grandparents my hands are overflowing lately, my mind allows me to run at that level by switching to what I call “caregiver mode”. I can manage information about the drugs they take, schedule appointments, discuss test results, anything needed for the two people I love the most, who are dying and “switch back” when at home.
Before breaking her hip my grandmother knew me, though our conversations were limited I enjoyed sharing memories with her. She really enjoyed a photo book I made with many photos of her beloved dog, Blackie. Thinking about Blackie always made her smile, even though he died twenty years ago, she remembered him like it was yesterday. On the way to their house last week tears were rolling down my face, I could not stop crying. It took a few minutes to figure out what was causing so much pain. My mind had switched from caregiver to granddaughter, realizing my grandmother no longer knew me. The realization was much harder to accept as her granddaughter.We would not share our memories again. I knew the day would come and said prayers often for the memories we shared. I’m in mourning and miss my grandmother so much.
Xx M aka Warrior
Throw Back Thursday No Doubt about Stefani & Shelton
Gwen Stefani has my full attention with her latest release, “This is what the truth feels like”. At 48 , after an eight year hiatus, Gwen releases new music, took her three children on tour, wrote/produced show for Nickelodeon, released a line of new fragrances and a voice over in the Trolls movie.
She appeared on The Voice last season as a mentor to help Blake Shelton’s team. During the season they wrote “Go ahead and break my heart” and fell ln love with Blake. Gwen has surprised fans by showing up to sing the song during his concerts. His fans have embraced her and she is now performing one of her songs before singing their duet. I love the cross genre or no genre. Enjoy Xx M
Survivors Blog Here Celebrates Second Anniversary
Throw Back Thursday *Let The Music Set You Free*
Please give a shout out to Gavin/sedge808, the newest member of Survivors Blog Here. Tunes dedicated to you! Welcome, let’s have some fun!
I was born with music in my ears, dancing to a beat. My baby book says I walked/danced for joy at ten months old. I don’t know if it’s true, it’s who I was. Chronic Lyme drives today, in the future the keys are mine. LET’S DANCE Xx M
FDA Admits Generic Wellbutrin Isn’t An Equivalent After Years Of Complaints
For years patients have said the generic Wellbutrin doesn’t work as well as brand name. The FDA finally took action against manufactures of the generics, admitting Clinical Trials were not performed on 300 mg Extended Release tablets. Follow up test found discrepancies in Bioeqivalence. The FDA holds responsibility as well, they are accountable to the public. The FDA requires all companies who manufacture medication to prove medication is safe, effective…equivalent or not for generics. This process can take years. The over looked, the lack of testing on higher mg caused many patients to take ineffective medicine suffering higher levels of depression.
Update: Bupropion Hydrochloride Extended-Release 300 mg Bioequivalence Studies
FDA has approved five generic versions of Wellbutrin XL 300 mg. Each of these generics was approved based on bioequivalence studies comparing the 150 mg strength of the products to Wellbutrin XL 150 mg. Studies were not performed directly on the 300 mg strength of the products. Rather, the bioequivalence studies were performed using the 150 mg strength, and the results were extrapolated to establish bioequivalence of the 300 mg product. This methodology was based on FDA’s guidance at the time the products were approved. FDA has determined that this approach is no longer appropriate to establish bioequivalence of 300 mg bupropion hydrochloride extended-release tablets to Wellbutrin XL 300 mg, and the Agency is revising its guidance to industry for how to conduct premarket bioequivalence studies in generic bupropion products.
http://www.fda.gov/drugs/drugsafety/postmarketdrugsafetyinformationforpatientsandproviders/ucm322161.htm
I subscribe to FDA Updates which provide valuable information.There is a section on each update showing who needs the information. When patients are on the list I ask who is contacting the patients? No-one. It’s a reminder you have to participate in your mental health care which includes staying informed. The daily updates can clog the email, I find most weekly updates valuable.
Xx M
WP Playing Tricks On You Last Night?
I’m a fairly calm :) person when not hypo/hyper or in withdraw. Last night while burning the midnight oil, I tried to refresh page…Message: could not pull anything up try again. That was the start, I’m no longer calm.
I used Reader for reading a few post…..the people I follow are unchecked like I’m not following them. I followed everyone. I head to Survivors Blog Here to find the same has happened.
Today you will receive a notice the contributors of Survivors Blog Here or Looking For The Light Blog are following you,please know we were already.
Did you have WP challenges last night?
Xx M
It’s Monday! Let’s celebrate with?
How about a funny story to start: my oldest dog had problems waking up this morning, I thought he was dead, ok that’s not funny, I was screaming his name….nothing. Finally he wakes, I see his front leg doesn’t work. Thinking about how hard the stairs would be…..I made a potty spot in spare room. This is funny or maybe just laughing at self, I put these huge kotex on the carpet, the sticky really helped. Then I stacked sheets then his vomit towel. Lovely thought, at least he knows it’s his…..I have been trying all morning and he would rather slide down stairs than go on kotex. Isn’t that a man/dog for you. HAHA!
It’s also funny to me that kotex are in the house, Lyme created the need. I had a total hysterectomy at 28 years old. Very glad to say at 53, they got all the cancer. To top it off, since I have trouble remembering due to Lyme, I thought next year I turned 53, not a couple of months ago. Not sure how 53 feels yet.
Let’s celebrate Monday with an old Rolling Stones concert clip when they came thru my town. I can’t decide if Mick sounds worse then or now, or always. I do like many of their tunes. Hug somebody you love today. M
Do You Want to take Free On-Line Courses from Top Universities?
Guest Photographer Gavin Kerslake
Please welcome Guest Photographer Gavin Kerslake. I met Gavin several years ago, probably thru a comment on a photo. He is a natural with the camera, his work can memorize or shine light on something missed. I would categorize his work as Industrial Realism, his eye captures the story in what others walk by without a thought.
I’m thrilled Gavin allowed me to share his work with you. I’ve asked Gavin to join us again, eveyone please go to his blog so he will say yes. Here are links where you can find Gavin’s work. I encourage you to look at his expansive collection. The first link is his blog, you will want follow for sure.
http://www.fluidr.com/photos/sedge808/interesting/
http://www.redbubble.com/people/sedge808/
Throw Back Thursday*George, Ringo, Friends
There are special moments in music history, these are in the jukebox in my head. Thank you for following me and stopping by every Thursday for entertainment. Thanks for the great suggestions coming in. Have a great weekend. Xx M
How Many Untested Rape Kits Does Your State Have?
Advocates For Sexual Assault Who Drive Change
End The Backlog is a program of Joyful Heart Foundation, a national non-profit organization founded by actress and activist Mariska Hargitay with the mission to transform society’s response to sexual assault, domestic violence, and child abuse, support survivors’ healing, and end this violence forever.
Over the years, however, we have begun to see progress. Increasingly, states and local jurisdictions are beginning to recognize the value of testing rape kits. They are starting to count, track and test the untested kits in their facilities, and they’re seeing powerful result.
What do we know about the rape kit backlog & what’s being done to end it.
Explore our interactive map: http://www.endthebacklog.org
For example, in New York City, where there had been a backlog of 17,000 untested rape kits before eliminated in 2003, city and law enforcement officials enacted a policy and developed a system to test every rape kit. The city’s arrest rate for rape has since jumped from 40% to 70%.”Joyful Heart now provides us with expertise, guidance and a national perspective.
They are helping to find ways to secure the funds needed to test the remaining kits and ensuring that all efforts to end this atrocity, is an important project under the direction of Joyful Heart foundation.
– Kym Worthy, Wayne County Prosecutor
The federal government estimates that hundreds of thousands of rape kits sit untested in police and crime lab storage facilities across the country in what is known as the rape kit backlog.
Discuss with the men in your life. Men have wives, mothers, sisters, daughters and co-workers. Check out the interactive map on endthebacklog.org, you can see the progress for your state and city, look at how many rape kits are left untested.
One out of six men are sexually assaulted, often living traumatized without support, few crimes are reported. The information may surprise you, unfortunately it’s reality. The 1 in 6 organization provides support. I’m currently researching the organization a look forward to sharing how support is provided.
I glanced at an article today which stressed the first year in college is when a crime is likely to happen. Men also have sons, brothers, cousins, neighbors and fathers. Young adults are not aware of the dangers of college life. You can help by finding out what is important to share with your college students, it may not have crossed their mind.
Xx M
Happy Birthday Daddy
Today would be your 76 birthday, there are a few things to say. I don’t know if you were with God in your final hours. I can’t assume you asked for forgiveness, I can’t assume you’re in Heaven.
Granny and Gramps went to their graves not knowing the pain you inflicted on me. Granny would breakdown, I would not cause her such pain.
You told me several times you were going to kill yourself, I didn’t doubt. I chose to keep the information to myself.
Granny was never the same after taking your life.
You called delusional, hallucinationing your phone was tapped. I found the cassettes, listened to every one, it’s sad where the mind can take us.
I have an idea how difficult it must have been living with a delusional mind.
Years soften the memories and pain, time doesn’t mean forgiveness. I choose to move forward building a healthy life. I’ve forgotten those times, their packed away, never to share.
Your son doesn’t have recollections of the worst times, he hardly knew you, you two didn’t spend much time. He knows nothing of my pain, like granny, he will go to his grave knowing none.
I talked with your half-brother Michael last year, he had photos and fond memories of you, the times you shared. Thru him I learned your side of the family suffered from depression for generations back.
Until next year
Melinda
Throw Back Thursday *The Disco Ball Is Turning*
The Disco period was great for Free Spirits, drugs flowed freely, a smell of change in the air. The music was alive, the dance floor had a rhythm like no other, leave your troubles behind and escape under the shiny ball. I started going to clubs with my father before my 10th birthday. When you have a parent with a mental illness, life can take unexpected turns. I hope you enjoy a couple of my favorites, if not pick up the request line and leave a request. Let’s Boogie! Xx M
Unreleased 1969 Recording of Led Zeppelin *Sunshine Woman*
Exciting news for Zeppelin fans, media outlets report an unknown recording of Sunshine Woman was discovered. I’m not a hard-core Zeppelin fan, who knew they could sing the Blues? Xx M
Throw Back Thursday *When We Stand Together*
If you’re a regular on Thursdays you know I’m a James Bay Super Fan. Hold Back the River is from an EP and his breakthrough to Super Rocker Stardom. He sings of the past….we used to ride our….reflection is needed to move forward. Nickelback reflects on current times looking forward to a shift bringing everyone together. I like to think that day will come….in my lifetime? Let’s Rock.
Lyme Update #17 *New Protocol*
After nine months of IV Therapy augmented with oral medication, I am off IV Therapy. It’s exciting and scary. I’m a realist, will party after doctor releases me. It is common to complete treatment only to have it return. I am optimistic and believe what you think is where you’re going. I want to find myself in good health to explore rebuilding my life.
New Treatment Protocol: One year course of oral medication
I’ve included comments from 5/31/16 office visit.
Report:
Continued severe memory loss worse since phone consultation, continued overall pain
More profoundly fatigued, pain from fall also a factor, Patient noted having more SVT, Supra Ventricular Tachycardia, lower edema
Tenderness in right knee with swelling noted, questionable hepatomegaly
Patient to follow-up with Cardiologist, MRI on right knee, continued air hunger, follow-up with Chest X-Ray
Increased dosage of Morphine Patch, patient will follow-up with labs to update ammonia, ferritin, iron and TIBC. H&H levels have dropped.
I’ll continue to fight like hell expecting a positive outcome. I will choke down the huge pills and be grateful.
Xx M
Withdraw: The Scattered Mind
Xanax is an anchor drug in my medication combo for treating Anxiety/Bipolar Disorder. I’ve taken Xanax for 15 years, it works miracles in keeping me grounded. Working quickly is an advantage with little to no side effects, EXCEPT ADDICTION. The downside side is addiction happens quickly after starting. For me withdraw starts on second day, by fourth day I look like a street addict who would sell my soul for a pill.
The emotional and physical breakdown took me to hell. My deep secrets/scars laughed and taunted me.
Here are some of the delusions I experienced.
Learned a new language
Surviving in the desert like Jesus
Discovered potential link for Postpartum Depression
In touch with my families Indian blood
Could feel natural body rhythm
Felt small earthquake
Saw Bobcat tracks on front tree
Started writing Country songs
Tweeting Gwen Stefani, Blake Shelton and Pharrell, talked to Gwen and Blake several times, Pharrell retwetted twice. I was flooded with people wanting to follow me after seeing tweets from Gwen. I was overwhelmed.
Locked all computers down, trying to keep myself from writing.
These are some of the out of control thoughts running through my head non-stop
The physical pain is unbearable
Anger, pain, begging God to stop kicking me in stomach, wailing, screaming, throwing up, four days without food.
Having to transition back one medication a day at a time
Delayed Lyme protocol by a week, reschedule trip to DC by a month
More damage to areas already injured
Strain on marriage
Xanax is a standard drug and withdraw doesn’t cross my mind. I kept some pills in my purse, pills in my office and the remaining pills went into master pill caddy. The trouble is not keeping up with how many total pills you’ve taken. I take several addictive medications for my mental illness and 4-5 addictive medications for Lyme treatment.
I am in pain 24/7 and resisted taking pain medication instead trying to cover pain with Xanax. Two Xanax and I’m asleep a good 4-6 hours without pain. The Lyme protocol called for 4-5 addictive medications but they rarely put me to sleep. It worked the opposite and I would stay awake 2-3 days at a time which made my pain even worse.
Now all medications stay in bottle or main pill case. Photos are daily log of meds taken that day.
Don’t go thru the pain of withdraw, stay on top of how many days worth you have at all times.
Xx M
How Argentina’s Blind Soccer Team Became Champions
Another great Ted Talk. The story is uplifting, reminding me I can do anything if I want the goal bad enough. Xx M
Throw Back Thursday *Strong women are kicking it up this week*
Have a great day. I mixed it up this week, let me know what you think. Remember the request line is open 24/7.
Videos were taken down his week by Vevo.
lookingforthelight.blog 