Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Change of Scenery: How to Plan the Perfect Weekend Getaway

There’s no denying that having a change of scenery can help you to de-stress, relax, and give you some respite from any issues you’re currently tackling in your life. Everyone should always have a change of scenery every so often to ensure their mental health wellbeing.

Photo by Aleksey Sokolenko on Pexels.com

If you can’t afford to get away for a few weeks, or perhaps you can’t get lots of time off work, even a weekend getaway can be just what you need. With that in mind, here’s how you can plan the perfect weekend away:

Find Somewhere Idyllic

The first thing you must do is look for a destination that will fill you with a sense of calm and happiness. Avoid the usual tourist traps in your area or region, and instead, look for places that are off the beaten track.

You won’t find it hard to come across some possible destinations. For example, you may find a quaint seaside village that tourists seldom frequent. Somewhere remote enough that tourists will avoid, yet is reasonably close to a major town or city for amenities.

Book Your Accommodation

Next, it makes sense to search for and book your accommodation in advance. It doesn’t matter if you’re looking for campsites or luxury apartments for you and anyone else going with you. What matters is that you guarantee your stay somewhere.

The last thing you want to do is have a stressful time away from home because you haven’t got somewhere to stay for the duration of your vacation or weekend getaway. Websites like Expedia and TripAdvisor can help you locate suitable places to stay.

Remember to Bring Everything You Need

One of the hallmarks of a fun and successful trip away from home is ensuring you take everything you need for your time. Clothes are undoubtedly essential items that you’ll need, but there will undeniably be many other things you will need.

For example, if you have to take medication prescribed by your doctor, you must remember to bring it with you. Plus, you should check you’ve got enough medication to last for the duration of your trip away from home.

Consider Planning an Itinerary

If you plan on doing absolutely nothing during your trip away from home, you can probably ignore this part of the article. However, if you want to fill your time with some fun activities such as visiting nearby landmarks and points of interest, it’s worth planning an itinerary.

An itinerary will help you plan enough time for all your activities, so you won’t feel like you have to rush and potentially stress yourself out during your time away. Keep in mind that if there are many things you want to do, you may need longer than a couple of days.

Final Thoughts

Whether you are planning a weekend getaway or would prefer to escape somewhere for a few weeks, the above tips will help ensure you have a smooth and successful time away from home.

This is a collaborative post.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Everyday Magic

Brought to you by Bella Grace a Stampington publication

What was your best day ever?

 

What made it so special and memorable?

 

How can you make it happen again? 

 

Melinda

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Taking Care Of Your Mental Health In A Digital World

In an age where everyone is constantly connected, and false pretenses are the norm, it can be hard to stay positive about life and yourself. Many teens have attested how social media has made them feel more insecure about how they look. This may be because filters and editing tools can make a person look entirely different from actual reality, creating false and unrealistic standards today’s generation of girls feel they need to live up to.

Photo by Daniel Xavier on Pexels.com

Limit Screen Time

It may sound like a childish approach at first, but limiting the amount of time you spend on your phone, and especially online, can do wonders for your mental well-being. The more time to spend online, the less time you spend in the real world, being productive and practicing other healthy habits. Social media is helpful in a long list of ways. Whether it is to gain exposure for your business, staying in touch with friends and family, or learning more about what’s going on in the world around you, anything you do excessively will ultimately lead to an imbalance of some sort in your life. Moderation is key, which is why setting boundaries to the amount of time you spend on social media can open up loads of time for other important things like work, family time, getting in some exercise, or even just relaxing. You’ve probably found yourself hopping on Instagram for a quick catch-up, only to find yourself an hour later, still scrolling, each post just as interesting as the one before it. This is why it’s essential to set a limit because, whether you notice it or not, it happens more than you think. 

Protect Yourself

One of the less glamorous things about social media is the fact that we can’t always control what pops up. Suggested posts are brought to your feed, and before you know it, you stumble upon something that may offend or really bother you. This isn’t necessarily social media’s fault; even though they try to keep a tight rein on what’s posted on their platform, there are billions of people posting each and every minute, making it almost impossible for them to regulate content thoroughly. They have, however, given you a small amount of authority and have taken your power of free will online by giving you an unfollow, block, and report button. These buttons aren’t just there to look pretty; they cause real action once implemented and can lead to the platform taking a closer look at the relevant content and disposing of the post (or the entire account if necessary) in order to make your experience better. Have a look at https://backlightblog.com/how-to-block-unblock-on-instagram to learn more about how to use some of these helpful tools. 

Tech Cleanse

Many celebrities have taken some time off from their social media accounts with millions of followers for a bit of a break-away. These public figures have realized how stressful and pressurizing the online world can be and have learned that taking some personal time can only benefit one’s mental health. Allowing yourself a tech cleanse from time to time will lift your spirits and make you feel like an entirely new person – this means taking a period of time and detaching yourself from the online world. No, you don’t have to lock away your phone in a drawer and throw away the key, just take a breather from the hustle and bustle of social media and do some self-reflecting, pamper yourself a bit, maybe even take up a new hobby or learn a new skill. The online world isn’t going anywhere soon and will definitely still be there by the time you get back!

Your number one priority should always be you at the end of the day, whether it be physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually. Take some time, give yourself some space, and do whatever you need to do to ensure you stay happy and healthy, inside and out.

This is a collaborative post.

Melinda

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

4 Things that Contribute to a Healthy Body

Your body is an amazing machine that can take care of itself if you give it the right fuel. However, many people are not aware of what they should be feeding their bodies in order to maintain a healthy lifestyle. In this blog post, we will discuss four things that contribute to a healthy body and how you can incorporate them into your diet!

Photo by Alisha Mishra on Pexels.com

#1 You need water for hydration

The first thing that contributes to a healthy body is water. Water makes up around 60% of your total weight, and you must be replenishing it constantly in order for your kidneys, liver, muscles, and skin to function properly. In fact, dehydration can lead to many illnesses such as headaches or even worse conditions like kidney stones!

In addition to the apparent hydration benefits that come from drinking enough water each day (around half a gallon), studies have shown that increasing fluid intake does not necessarily increase urine output but instead helps prevent disease by flushing out unwanted toxins from the urinary tract. 

#2 Eating enough protein promotes muscle growth

Another thing that contributes to a healthy body is protein. Protein plays many essential roles in the human body, including building and repairing muscles, transporting oxygen throughout your blood system (which helps fight off infections), producing hormones like insulin, keeping hair shiny, and controlling neurotransmitters which are chemicals released by nerve cells.

Unfortunately, most people do not get enough of it because they don’t eat meat or dairy products. Thankfully there are other ways for you to get this necessary nutrient into your diet without having too much animal fat! There are even vegan sources of protein such as tofu, lentils and legumes, nuts & seeds, and peanut butter on whole-wheat toast with bananas.

#3 Regular exercise boosts metabolism

The final thing that contributes to a healthy body is regular exercise. Exercise boosts metabolism, so you burn more calories throughout the day and helps build muscle mass, increasing your energy levels! However, many people are unaware of how much they should be exercising each week or don’t know what types of exercises will help them achieve their goals. 

A lot of people also struggle to exercise due to chronic pain – if this is the case, you could have a look at Neuropathy Treatment options so you could get back on your feet as soon as possible! This doesn’t mean it has to involve going near a gym either because everyone can incorporate activity into their daily lives, whether by taking walks around the neighborhood, joining sports teams with friends, or just running up and down stairs instead of using an elevator.

#4 Eating fresh fruits and vegetables provides essential nutrients

The third thing that contributes to a healthy body is fruits and vegetables. Fruits and veggies provide many essential nutrients, including vitamins, fiber, antioxidants, and potassium which helps maintain your blood pressure! Although it may seem hard at first to start eating more fresh produce because of the time commitment or money investment purchasing them might involve. 

It’s 100% worth it in the end when you can see yourself living a longer, healthier life with fewer trips to visit the doctor’s office each year. 

This is a collaborative post.

Melinda

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

One Last Look At October Awareness Days

This isn’t a complete list of all the important awareness days in October but you can see October was an informative month. I hope you participated if you had something to share and learned something as well.

I worked to share my stories, knowledge and most importantly, my passion about the day that impact me the most.

October 2021 Awareness Dates

I hope you learned something this month if one of these awareness days affects you or someone you love.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

The 3 bones of life — Guest Blogger Happy Healthy Me – a Journey

‘To succeed in life you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone’ – Dr Kavanagh, during a talk on ‘Moral Anatomy’ in 1908 The Church near me regularly puts inspiring quotes on the noticeboard outside. In fact it’s become a bit of a thing locally with people taking photos and making […]

The 3 bones of life — Happy Healthy Me – a Journey
Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Book Review for Down But Not Out by Mat Desforges

I was gifted a copy of Down But Not Out by Mat Desforges from Soraya Nair at Cherish Editions for an honest review. Thank you Soraya.

About the Author

“Mat Desforges is a dad, husband, brother, son, friend, acquaintance. Just like many of us are or will be.
Mat grew up in Dorset and was educated there as well as in Devon and France before moving to London and Guernsey after university. He then travelled and worked abroad before settling back in Guernsey for many years with his wife and now his two sons.

He has worked in a variety of roles in the commercial sector, government and regulation.
At the time of publishing, he is travelling with his family on what the kids have called a “global family adventure.” This pause from normal family life was partly inspired by the experiences he recounts in Down… but NOT Out, his first book. While away he is working on a second book.”

Excerpt From: Mat Desforges. “Down… But NOT Out.” Apple Books.

Blurb

“This book is for everyone who feels low at some time, whatever the reason.
It is also for the lucky few who don’t feel like this. Hopefully they can understand, support and be there for the rest of us.
The sun does come out again.”

My Thoughts

Excerpt From: Mat Desforges. “Down… But NOT Out.” Apple Books.

“My impatience and inability to relax and take stock (again, all things that I feel had contributed to my negative feelings) were, yet again, getting the better of me. And I had more time to do these things now!! My days were busy, I was shattered, and I wasn’t improving. I was very up and down.

This came to a head when I was looking at my lists and felt my stress and negativity rushing back. But I have to do all these things to get better, was all I thought. I then shared these feelings and lists with a couple of people and they looked at me with that knowing eye.
“Just stop,” was what their facial expression was saying, but I couldn’t see it. They had to spell it out. They told me to stop and to take a rest. A proper rest. This was going to take a while to resolve.”

After Mat had his mental health break in the electronics store he thought a short bit of treatment and a list of all the things he needed to accomplish would get him better only to find it was digging him a bigger hole. Luckily he had friends to share his feelings with and they helped him see where he was going off course. Mat is mission-oriented and that can get the better of him, healing and getting back on your feet is a process that Mat had to learn. 

His view is a realist one, is very raw in his writing and shares straight from the heart. I like his no holes barred approach. I think anyone who has been challenged with depression can relate and understand where Mat is coming from. 

Down But Not Out is a fast read and will keep you turning the pages. I also think this book would be helpful to anyone who has had depression even if it’s not clinical or long-term.

Cherish Editions

Cherish Editions is the self-publishing division of Trigger Publishing, the UK’s leading independent mental health and wellbeing publisher.

We are experienced in creating and selling positive, responsible, important and inspirational books, which work to de-stigmatise the issues around mental health, as well as helping people who read them to maintain and improve their mental health and wellbeing. By choosing to publish through Cherish Editions, you will get the expertise of the dedicated Trigger Team at every step of the process.

We are proud of what we do, and passionate about the books that we publish. We want to do the very best for you and your book, holding your hand every step of the way.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Everyday Magic

We all have our own sources for coziness. Some of us may string twinkle lights around our homes while others light deliciously scented-smelling candles. 

What are all the things that make you feel cozy?

Bella Grace by Stampington

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Things That Will Make You Feel Good About Your Life

It’s so easy to get bogged down in the day-to-day and lose sight of what matters. It can be challenging to find inspiration, but there are a few things that will make you feel good about your life. 

Such include getting your health checked, continually chasing all your dreams, getting that promotion at work, attaining financial independence, and more! Continue reading to identify what will make you feel good about your life. 

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Getting Your Health Checked

Your health is an essential thing to keep track of. Even though you may feel like there is nothing wrong, it’s always a good idea to check up on yourself and make sure that everything is as it should be. 

Then, if something happens, you can get urgent care right away without having too much worry about your health deteriorating before getting help for the problem. You can keep track of your health by getting yearly checkups from a doctor.

It is also essential to keep up with your preventative care, which means going for regular visits and screenings that allow you to stay on top of any issues or concerns before they become big problems.

Continually Chasing All Your Dreams 

Chasing your dreams is a great way to start a better life, and it doesn’t have to be about things that are very far out of reach. It’s the little dreams too! 

Don’t just think you’ll get rich one day or something – go after what makes you happy in your everyday life. Whether taking up a new hobby or traveling the world with your best friend, chasing those dreams will give you so much happiness when they come true.

Getting That Promotion at Work 

Getting a promotion at work can be very fulfilling and rewarding. It can help you feel more confident in your work life, and it might be an indicator that you are doing something right at the company where you work.

It is essential to understand what makes a promotion rewarding for each person because not everyone values money or title as much as others do when receiving this kind of reward from their employer. In addition, the most fulfilling promotions give people opportunities to learn new skills or introduce them to exciting workplace challenges.

Attaining Financial Independence

Attaining financial independence is a big deal. It can be a great feeling to know that you no longer need to rely on anyone else financially, and it is something worth celebrating.

As per Forbes, there are many benefits of financial independence such as having the security of knowing your money will last for at least 30 years in retirement and you will spend less time working. This means more family time and living life on your terms!

Reconnecting with an Old Friend 

Reconnecting with old friends is another way of feeling good about your life. You can catch up on what you have been doing since the last time you saw each other and also reminisce over old memories when you were both “babies.”

In conclusion, many things will make you feel good about your life. It would help if you got your health checked, continually chase all of your dreams, attain financial independence and reconnect with an old friend, as these four things will give you a lot more energy to do the other tasks in life. 

This is a collaborative post.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Everyday Magic

Photo by Emil Bju00f6rkman on Pexels.com

A good morning routine can set you up for a great day. What is your ideal way to start the day?

Bella Grace by Stampington

Melinda

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Being Proactive Will Help Improve Your Life

Taking steps to improve and boost your life is so important, and you need to be proactive about the best ways of achieving this. There are so many factors you need to keep in mind when it comes to improving your life, and the best way to approach this is to consider what you want to achieve in your future. Are you happy with the direction your life is taking? What areas do you feel could be improved upon?

Life has been a bit chaotic these past 18 months, and it is really important to make sure you get back on track as much as possible. Being proactive is half the battle when it comes to achieving this, and you need to understand the steps that need to be taken to achieve this. These are some of the things you can do that will help you to improve your life and make more positive changes. 

Photo by Quang Anh Ha Nguyen on Pexels.com

Following a health and wellness program is a great way of being able to improve your life and enjoy a bit of guidance at the same time. There are wellness programs you can use online that are going to help you make this journey in the best way you possibly can, and one of the key resources for helping with this is kristenblakewellness.com, where you can find a code for a step-by-step wellness program that will take your life forward in a positive direction right now. 

So many people take steps to ensure they have a healthy body, but too many of them overlook the importance of a healthy mind. This is something that has a massive impact on your life as a whole, so you need to look out for some of the signs and causes of depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues. These can be highly debilitating and may impact your life in a negative way, so this is something you need to try to improve upon as much as possible. 

You should always try to do at least one thing each day that makes you happy, no matter how seemingly small it may be. This can make such a massive difference to your life and your mental state, and it is definitely something you should look to get right as much as possible. Think about what gives you pleasure and makes you happy, and you need to make sure you focus on this in order to make improvements to your life right now. 

These are all great ways of being able to take charge of your life and go in a positive direction right now. There are a lot of things that play a part in this, and it is important that you understand the best ways of being able to do this so that you can get as proactive as possible about improving your life. Try to come up with the best ways of achieving this, and there are a lot of factors that play a part in being able to do this. 

This is a collaborative post.

Melinda

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

The Surprising Causes of Depression

Chronic depression is a mental illness that millions of people experience to some degree each year. All types of things can trigger depression in anyone, such as trauma, grief, getting laid off, and money worries. The chances are high that you know someone with depression.

Did you know some depression triggers aren’t as common as the examples listed above? In fact, some causes of depression are pretty surprising. The following are six triggers that you probably wouldn’t have realized cause depression in most people:

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Certain Times of the Year

Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD for short, is a mood disorder that can cause some people to experience symptoms of depression but only at certain times of the year. Most people with SAD experience symptoms during the winter months.

However, SAD can also strike in the summer. In those cases, the reason is that the body finds it difficult to adjust to new seasons.

Quitting Smoking

If a person used to be a heavy smoker and decided to quit the habit, they will likely experience symptoms of depression. Smoking can obviously be addictive, and when a person gives up such a long-term habit, they start to get withdrawal symptoms.

Nicotine, one of the common elements in cigarettes, creates high levels of the neurotransmitters dopamine and serotonin. When a person gives up smoking, they have significantly lower levels, resulting in feelings of depression.

Chronic Pain

Have you ever noticed that people with chronic (i.e., continuous) physical pain often seem unhappy? They might take medication to ease the pain, yet they still appear sad. That’s because chronic pain can also cause depression symptoms.

It makes sense to couple medication with other forms of pain relief like therapy sessions with a chiropractor in such circumstances. Doing so can help some people have less severe symptoms of depression.

Poor Quality of Sleep

It’s no secret that people who regularly have a poor quality of sleep end up feeling irritable and generally not very pleasant to be around. However, some of those individuals could have a high risk of developing chronic depression.

If you experience a poor quality of sleep, you should take immediate steps to diagnose and resolve the reasons why that’s the case. For example, the issue might be down to an unsuitable bed or pillow, or your sleeping partner’s snoring could disturb your sleep.

Internet Addiction

Most people spend at least one or two hours each day surfing the Web and catching up on their social media feeds. If you spend significantly more time online each and every day, your Internet addiction could result in you developing depression.

Your Environment

It’s a well-known fact that people who live in abusive home environments are highly likely to develop depression. But, what you might not know is that something as simple as the area where you live can trigger depression symptoms.

That’s because people who live in densely populated areas typically have higher levels of stress, and that can trigger feelings of depression in those individuals.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Survivor

15 months — Guest Blogger Musings of a Cancer Patient

A socially awkward doctor called with the news. The call I had been dreading. Cancer. When the short call ended, I just sat there, dumbfounded, until I mustered up the courage to call my mom. To this day, sharing the news of my diagnosis has been one of the worst things I’ve had to do. […]

15 months — Musings of a Cancer Patient
Celebrate Life · Fun · Mental Health

Today in History October 24, 2021

Welcome to the weekend edition of Today in History. I’m so glad you’re enjoying the post. Have an awesome weekend.

1901

First barrel ride down Niagara Falls

On October 24, 1901, a 63-year-old schoolteacher named Annie Edson Taylor becomes the first person to successfully take the plunge over Niagara Falls in a barrel.

1945

The United Nations is born

On October 24, 1945, the United Nations Charter, which was adopted and signed on June 26, 1945, is now effective and ready to be enforced. The United Nations was born of perceived necessity, as a means of better arbitrating international conflict and negotiating peace than was …read more

2003

The Concorde makes its final flight

The supersonic Concorde jet makes its last commercial passenger flight, traveling at twice the speed of sound from New York City’s John F. Kennedy International Airport to London’s Heathrow Airport on October 24, 2003. The British Airways jet carried 100 passengers, including …read more

1969

“Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid” opens in wide release

On October 24, 1969, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, starring Paul Newman and Robert Redford as a team of bank robbers in the Old West, opens in theaters around the United States. The film was a commercial and critical success, receiving seven Oscar nominations (including …read more

1997

Marv Albert faces sentencing in sexual assault case

Circuit Court Judge Benjamin Kendrick announces that he will dismiss the sexual assault case filed against Marv Albert by 42-year-old Vanessa Perhach if the sportscaster agrees to get counseling and stays out of trouble for a year. Albert faced up to 12 months in jail and a …read more

Enjoy your day! 

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Just Pondering

Photo by Emil Bju00f6rkman on Pexels.com

“When you look at a field of dandelions you can either see a hundred weeds or a hundred wishes”

Unknown

Melinda

 

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Looking After a Pet’s Mental Health: Is It So Simple?

Pets keep loneliness at bay for millions of people and can help with our overwhelming thoughts and while we are more than aware of how a pet can help us with our well-being, we must remember to return the favour. Supporting your pet’s mental health is essential. The pandemic has made us a lot more anxious, but what about our pets? Our pets’ behaviour might change intense situations. But what can we do to make sure that, if we notice our pets having any signs of poor well-being, that we support them? 

Photo by Anna Shvets on Pexels.com

Stimulating Their Senses

Providing mental stimulation is crucial. If you are currently stuck at home, you can hide treats and toys around the space to provide that all-important exercise and mental stimulation. But when life returns to normality, give them the benefits of a variety of scenery. Taking them to explore new scenery is as important to your pet’s mental health as it is to you. 

Exercising With Different Techniques 

Ensuring that they remain agile is essential. Building up their agility will teach them something new and stimulate them. If your pet needs to stay indoors, you must remember that their exercise should not suffer. You can also incorporate new toys on a heavy rotation. A variety of interactive toys can keep your pet interested and stimulated. There is a lot to consider. And when you start to stimulate their senses, you give them that all-important distraction. 

Access to Light

Fresh air is important, as well as light and exposure to a variety of senses. Giving them exposure to different smells and sounds provides simulation. You have to remember at this point if your pet’s behaviour changes or they get frustrated, you may need to change your approach. If you are not taking your dog out much at the moment, you need to remember that the variety of noises and smells may frustrate them at not being able to go outside. 

Observing and Acting

A physically and mentally stimulated pet will be happier and healthier. Observing changes in their behaviour gives you the opportunity to spot if their mental well-being is being impacted. You should always contact a vet if you are concerned, but the solution might be closer to home. You could give them more treats if you feel you’ve been cutting back recently. There are also other ways to stimulate them, such as the soothing sounds on My Dog’s Favourite Podcast available on Spotify. It is an audio treat for your dog that could help to calm their anxieties. 

Stimulation is crucial, but we have to remember when we are trying to look after our pets and mental health that we are more observant. They could be taking their cue from us, in which case, it’s essential to focus on creating a healthier environment for everyone. We can look after our pet’s mental health. In many ways, it is simple.

Melinda

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

4 Ways to Save More Money & Sleep Better At Night

Lake of finances is a major source of worry for many people. Therefore, when there are not enough funds available for meeting your needs or in your savings, you’re more than likely to become anxious, Unfortunately, with most Americans having less than $1,000 stashed away as their savings, this problem is a pretty pervasive one. However, just because this is the norm doesn’t mean that it should be the same for you. With the right strategies, you can actually save more, thus lessening your worries and anxieties in the process.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Cut Down Bloated Financial Expenses

Take a critical look at your expenses and see where you can cut them down. The easiest way to do this is to start tracking every cent you spend. Do this for a month or two and see what expenses are important and those that aren’t. 

Then, create a budget based on those important expenses and save the rest. You’ll find that when you limit yourself to a budget and stick to it, you can make it work, regardless of your previous spending habits. 

It may not seem like a lot at first, but it does add up over time. We’ve seen families go from having less than $500 in their savings to $6,000 in savings in one year by just cutting their expenses. Interestingly, they were still quite comfortable and didn’t miss those things they cut out of their budget.   

Reconsider Your Housing Situation 

This is a tricky one considering that you need a place to live. But if you’re spending more than half of your paycheck on housing –whether mortgage or rent- you might want to consider downsizing to something more affordable until you can afford your ideal home and use the extra funds for something else. 

For instance, some people have been known to switch to manufactured homes. If you do a quick search using the mobile homes for sale search phrase, you’ll find many affordable options that are available to you. If mobile homes aren’t an appealing option, try moving to a cheaper or smaller home. Or you can seek cheaper mortgage payments for your home.

Save Unexpected Income

Most people tend to immediately send money that they didn’t expect. Yet, when you think about it, the very fact that those funds were unexpected means that they can actually live without spending those funds. 

Whether the money is in the form of a bonus, cash gifts, or extra commission, determine to put that money aside immediately it comes in. Do this a few times and you’ll soon see your savings grow. 

Lower Your Energy Bills

Energy consumption and utility bills are often a sizable part of the average monthly expense. So, it makes sense that if you can cut down on how much you pay for your utilities –particularly during the summer and winter months- you could save some more money. 

Some things that you can do to lower your energy bills include changing your bulbs to energy saver bulbs, using energy-efficient HVAC systems, not leaving the heater or AC on in rooms that are unoccupied, and much more. 

This is a collaborative post.

Melinda

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Making Sure Your Medical Care Is Safe and Sound

When you’re a parent, the last thing that you want to worry about is whether or not your kids are receiving quality medical care. Unfortunately, there are many instances where people have gotten subpar care because they didn’t know their rights.

It’s essential to be proactive and ensure that your family has access to medical treatment while also ensuring it is safe and sound. In this blog post, you will get information on how to do just that!

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Have Regular Checkups

Having regular checkups is something that everybody should do. Even if you feel well, it is always good to make sure your body is functioning the way it should be and take steps towards any issues before they become serious problems.

If, for example, your family has a history of certain conditions like cancer or diabetes, regular checkups are something that everyone in your family needs to do regardless of their age or health status. Checkups will allow doctors and nurses to catch things early on while still fixing them efficiently instead of waiting until there’s more extensive damage done.

Always Be Keen and Ask Questions

Asking questions is essential. Your doctor will not think you are troublesome, and it is their job to answer your questions anyway! If they do not, ask another doctor until someone can provide satisfying answers that give you peace of mind. The same goes for nurses and other medical professionals: the more information all parties have available about your treatment plan, the better care everyone gets as a result.

And if something does go wrong due to a breach on the doctor’s part, you can always seek legal advice from a medical malpractice attorney to help you acquire damages for violation. By doing so, you will not be negligent about your medical rights.

Ensure That Your Medical Rights Are Respected

Your health care providers should understand that you are a vital part of the medical team. You should ask questions and communicate with them about any concerns you have without feeling judged. Staff members at hospitals and clinics should treat you with respect.

When doctors order tests for you as a patient, they need to explain what they are for you to make informed decisions. If there’s something wrong with how things work in this area, speak up! Like other rights citizens enjoy, your right to advocate for yourself will only strengthen if you exercise frequently.

Other medical rights include having access to quality health care providers and receiving advice on navigating the system. You also have the right to get satisfactory answers to your questions concerning insurance coverage and everything you need to be an active participant in making good choices about taking control of your well-being.

Conclusion

In conclusion, it is crucial to make sure that your medical care providers do everything they can to protect you from harm. Remember, this means not just getting treatment for a severe injury or illness — it also includes making sure you have all the information and resources available to take steps towards preventing health issues before they become emergencies.

This is a collaborative post.

Melinda

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

How To Find The Best Level Of Care For An Elderly Relative

Growing old can be tough on both your physical and mental health. Losing mobility can mean that you lose independence, and unfortunately, it’s all too common to start losing those around you due to health conditions and other issues that affect the elderly. Offering your support to an elderly relative during their time of need could change their quality of life dramatically, giving them a pep in their step and a reason to carry on. It needn’t be difficult to provide your elderly relative with the helping hand that they need to thrive, as there are a few key areas in which you can focus your efforts to keep them as happy and healthy as possible. So, if you would like to find out more, then read on to uncover some of the best tips and tricks that you can utilize today! 

Photo by Centre for Ageing Better on Pexels.com

The first step you should take when you gain the responsibility of caring for an elderly relative involves visiting their healthcare specialist to get a better idea of their current situation. They will be able to inform you of any specific issues such as difficulty with mobility, signs of Alzheimer’s, and any other potential issues that may need to be considered during your care. Their healthcare specialist will also be able to advise you on whether they believe your elderly relative can live comfortably in their own home or may feel better inside a specialized care facility that can meet their medical needs. 

If it’s recommended that your elderly relative should stay in the comfort of their own home, it’s vital that you are able to make some adaptations to suit their requirements. This could mean installing grab bars in places such as the bathroom and corridors, as these can be used for extra balance and mobility when your relative moves around their house independently. In addition, a stairlift is an essential investment for a home that’s laid out over more than one level, as stairs are a real hazard area for the elderly and it simply isn’t worth the risk. 

Staying social by meeting up with friends and family is something that you most likely take for granted, as this just isn’t possible for elderly people. It would be such a miserable existence if your elderly relative were to sit inside their care facility, watching and waiting for a visitor that never arrives as they see other residents meet with their nearest and dearest. You must make an effort to go and see them as much as you can, especially if they no longer live in their own home, as they need interaction with people they know and love! This will also give them the chance to discuss any issues they have. Every facility has a commitment to outstanding care and these expectations must always be met. 

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Fun · Mental Health

Today in History

Welcome to the weekend edition of Today in History. I’m so glad you’re enjoying the post. Have an awesome weekend.

1974

“Benji” opens in theaters

On October 17, 1974, Benji, a film about a stray dog who helps rescue several kidnapped children, opens in theaters; it will go on to become a family classic. Written and directed by Joe Camp, Benji starred a mutt named Higgins, who had been rescued as a puppy from a California …read more

1906

A shoemaker leads German soldiers in a robbery

Wilhelm Voigt, a 57-year-old German shoemaker, impersonates an army officer and leads an entire squad of soldiers to help him steal 4,000 marks. Voigt, who had a long criminal record, humiliated the German army by exploiting their blind obedience to authority and getting them to …read more

1835

The first resolution formally creating the Texas Rangers is approved

On October 17, 1835, Texans approve a resolution to create the Texas Rangers, a corps of armed and mounted lawmen designed to “range and guard the frontier between the Brazos and Trinity Rivers.” In the midst of their revolt against Mexico, Texan leaders felt they needed a …read more

1989

Oakland-San Francisco World Series game postponed because of earthquake

On October 17, 1989, a magnitude 6.9 earthquake rocks northern California during Game 3 of the World Series between the San Francisco Giants and Oakland Athletics at  Candlestick Park, forcing postponement of the matchup. The series resumes 10 days after the earthquake, which …read more

1931

On October 17, 1931, gangster Al Capone is sentenced to 11 years in prison for tax evasion and fined $80,000, signaling the downfall of one of the most notorious criminals of the 1920s and 1930s.

Alphonse Gabriel Capone was born in Brooklyn, New York, in 1899 to Italian immigrants. He was expelled from school at 14, joined a gang and earned his nickname “Scarface” after being sliced across the cheek during a fight. By 1920, Capone had moved to Chicago, where he was soon helping to run crime boss Johnny Torrio’s illegal enterprises, which included alcohol-smuggling, gambling and prostitution. Torrio retired in 1925 after an attempt on his life and Capone, known for his cunning and brutality, was put in charge of the organization.

Enjoy!

Melinda

Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

6 Simple Tips for Setting up a Home Workshop for Your Home Business

Every business operated from home requires some dedicated workspace. Accordingly, there are many options for a home workspace. However, not every business needs the same home office. For some, like freelance photography, you may convert your garage into a studio, while a portion of your living room can serve as a better workspace for freelance writing business. 

In other words, setting up a home workshop for your home business depends on the kind of business you run. Here are six simple tips for setting up a home workspace for your home business. 

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

Think about privacy

Any business run from home is prone to interference from different people within the house. Therefore, it is crucial to think about how you can separate your workspace from your home to reduce distractions. A great idea would be to create a dedicated room for work and separate from your family. There are many ways of separating your workspace. For instance, you can enclose part of the garage and use it as a workshop. 

Make it unique 

Your workspace should support what you do and keep you engaged. That is why you cannot use your living room when the TV is on as a workshop. However, you can make your workspace as unique as possible to enhance engagement and productivity. Think about using colors and other aspects to personalize your workshop. 

Consider different options

There are many options when it comes to setting up a dedicated workspace at home. Think about the garage, the kitchen, and other available rooms. Whether you want to build an outdoor structure or convert an existing space, you must consider your options carefully. This way, you can make your workshop as motivational and inspiring as possible. 

Prioritize functionality

Your workshop should be suitable for work all year round. For instance, if you want to convert your garage into a workspace, be sure to change the doors to make it look like an office. You may also need pest control services to make it functional. Consider everything you may need to do to make your workshop look better and ready for work. 

Make it more comfortable and warmer

If you are turning your garage into a dedicated workspace, you may want to insulate it to make it more comfortable and welcoming. Secondary glazing installation on the windows may serve you well. You may also need extra floor insulation. This strategy will help you reduce your heating expenses and make your workplace warmer. 

Security is crucial

Every business needs security regardless of the setting and size. Accordingly, it is only a matter of time before people find out you run a home business. That is why you should ensure your business is secure, especially if you separate it from the main house. Invest in solar streetlights and a security alarm system to protect your business equipment. 

Final thoughts

It is crucial to designate a dedicated workspace for your home business to reduce distractions and increase productivity. Protect what is essential to your business by creating a safe, secure, and productive workshop. This aspect will help you keep stress levels low and focus on core functions.

This is a collaborative post.

Melinda

Celebrate Life · Chronic Illness · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Book Review for Hope Amid the Pain by Leslie L. McKee

I want to thank Leslie L. McKee for sharing an advanced copy of Hope Amid the Pain: Hanging On to Positive Expectations When Battling Chronic Pain and Illness (a 60-Day Devotional Journal) for an honest review.

HOPE Amid the Pain
Hanging On to Positive Expectations When Battling Chronic Pain and Illness (a 60-Day Devotional Journal)
©2021 by Leslie L. McKee

176 pages

Publish Date: October 25, 2021

About the Author

Leslie is an author, editor, and reviewer. She is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers and The Christian PEN. Some of her devotionals were published in compilations by Ellie Claire in 2017 and 2020. Her flash fiction stories have been published with Havok, Splickety, and Spark (websites, magazines, and anthologies). Her devotional journal (HOPE Amid The Pain: Hanging on to Positive Expectations When Battling Chronic Illness and Pain) will soon be published with Ambassador International. She enjoys reading, playing piano, crocheting, spending time with family and friends (and her turtle!), and rooting for the NY Giants. 

Blurb

Why me? Is God punishing me? Is my faith not strong enough for God to heal me? How can I achieve my dreams? What’s my purpose?

If you’re someone living with a chronic illness or chronic pain, these are just a few of the questions you’ve likely asked on more than one occasion. You may feel overlooked or even resentful. You try to stay positive, but some days it’s hard. It’s natural to feel this way and grieve, but it’s still possible to have a hope-filled life. God has a purpose for the pain.

Christians aren’t immune from pain and illness, but we don’t have to go through it alone. Jesus promised that He would “never leave you nor forsake you” (Deuteronomy 31:6 NIV).

Millions of women suffering from chronic pain and illness want the reassurance they’re not alone. The devotions in Hope Amid the Pain are written by a chronic pain warrior with over twenty-five years’ experience and will point the reader to hope and encouragement. It’s possible to Hang On to Positive Expectations (HOPE) even amid the pain.

What Others Are Saying

Beautifully written, HOPE Amid the Pain tugs at the heart with both practical and spiritual instruction. Anyone who is or has suffered with crippling and debilitating pain or illness will find encouragement and support in this devotional. Spirit-lifting, wise, and filled with inspiration, this devotional is sure to strengthen hearts for wherever the Lord is leading.

Debbie Macomber | #1 NYT Bestselling Author

McKee writes with compassion and understanding. Words of grace and compassion for those struggling with chronic pain.

Vannetta Chapman | USA Today bestselling author

As a mental health therapist I often look for resources for clients who struggle with chronic mental and physical illnesses. Leslie L. McKee speaks from personal experience as a woman who suffers from chronic illness. She has combined her personal experience, her deep faith in Christ, and her writing skills to provide a devotional which will truly minister to women who are fellow travelers on the chronic illness journey. Her format provides encouragement with practical application based on Scripture. I can’t wait to be able to offer such a devotional to my clients.

Patricia J Edwards| LCSW, TheAntioch Group

My Thoughts

Leslie has been a chronic pain warrior for over twenty years and understands the challenges we face daily. She does a great job of lifting you up; it’s like a gentle hug from a friend.

The journal covers topics like:

Don’t Settle

You Are Enough

Rest Stop

Through The Fire

Leslie also offers a Resource guide at the back of the book and a chapter on Scriptures. 

I think it’s a great gift for you or someone you care for who has a chronic illness or suffers from chronic pain.  Self-care is critical to our overall health and especially our mental health. 

Leslie’s book is a must buy and will be a resource you will refer to again and again.

Melinda

Repost from 2021

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Do You Have Seasonal Affective Disorder?

What is Seasonal Affective Disorder? 

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is an older term for Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) with a seasonal pattern. It’s a psychological condition that results in depression which is normally provoked by seasonal change. The condition most often occurs in women, adolescents, and young adults.

Many times people will start to see a pattern to their depression as the seasons change. This is common in the winter months and in areas where it is darker more than there is light outside. SAD is more common the countries like Alaska and Canada than in South America.

SAD is classified into two types, one in the Summertime and the other in the Wintertime. The symptoms are markedly different.

Summertime symptoms are:

agitation

difficulty sleeping

increased restlessness

lack of appetite

weight loss

Wintertime symptoms are:

daytime fatigue

difficulty concentrating

feelings of hopelessness

increased irritability

lack of interest in social activities

lethargy

reduced sexual interest

unhappiness

weight gain

How do you know if you have Seasonal Affective Disorder?

If you notice these symptoms you should talk with your doctor right away and it would help if you kept a journal as to when the depression started. This will help the doctor make a correct diagnosis especially if you notice the changes appear to be seasonal. The more information you can provide the doctor more accurately they can diagnosis your depression.

How do you treat Seasonal Affective Disorder? 

Your doctor can determine the best treatment and in severe cases, may prescribe medication or a combination of treatments. One treatment known to help is Light Box Therapy or a Lamp because they are specially designed to put out a minimum of 10,000 Lux full-spectrum light.

Here’s my post on the Top 5 SAD Lamps

I hope you will seek out more information and talk with your doctor if your symptoms are troubling you.

Melinda

Reference

https://www.healthline.com/health

https://www.webmd.com/depression/sad-directory

https://www.webmd.com/depression/depression-or-dysthymia#1

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Re-post SAD is not just the winter blues — and it may be hitting you harder this year

IDEAS.TED.COM

Dec 9, 2020 / Mary Halton

This post is part of TED’s “How to Be a Better Human” series, each of which contains a piece of helpful advice from people in the TED community; browse through all the posts here.

If the darkening evenings and turning leaves induce a mild sense of dread in you every year, you’re not alone.

With the arrival of winter, many of us experience Seasonal Affective Disorder — which bears the appropriate acronym of SAD — and can bring on a depressed mood, loss of interest in things that you normally enjoy, and changes in sleep and appetite. While there aren’t conclusive figures, it is thought to affect between one and nine percent of the population, depending on where you live.

Although we may think of it as being a distinct affliction of its own, SAD is actually classified as either bipolar or major depressive disorder, but with a seasonal pattern. This means that people who experience it feel much worse in the fall and winter and relatively balanced or potentially even manic in the summer months, explains Kathryn Roecklein PhD, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Pittsburgh who studies the condition.

“Depression itself is pretty episodic,” says Roecklein. “You have a period of it, and then it goes away. The distinction [with SAD] is the seasonal recurrence.” It also appears that SAD is two to four times more common amongst women.

Even though we are making greater efforts as a society to recognize the importance of our mental health, it can be tempting to dismiss SAD as a touch of the “winter blues” and to try to get on with life as usual. But the best approach, Roecklein says, is to accept and recognize that it’s something that we may genuinely suffer from — and need treatment for. Just as we would for heart disease or diabetes.

Why does winter make us SAD?

The story of SAD starts with our circadian rhythm — our internal body clock that tells us when to eat, go to sleep and wake up. 

For the most part, we tend not to think too much about this system unless we have an unexpectedly late night or take a long-haul flight. But chronobiologist Emily Manoogian PhD says it plays a much more significant role.

“The circadian system is directly tied to how our brain functions, and this affects our cognitive ability, our behavior, our mood and our ability to remember things,” says Manoogian, who researches circadian rhythms at the Salk Institute for Biological Studies in California. “The circadian system is important for making sure that throughout your body and brain, regions are talking to each other the way that they should be and everything is balanced. We know that circadian disruption is heavily associated with every form of affective disorder — such as major depressive disorder, bipolar disorder, etc.”

Increased darkness in the fall and winter months is something that humans on much of the planet have experienced for thousands of years, but our technological advancement — in particular, artificial light — is interfering with this natural occurrence. Light is one of the most powerful stimuli for our circadian systems, and since the advent of electricity we’ve been sending our bodies a lot of mixed messages.

“This environment that we’ve created is inherently disruptive — it’s not lights on and off at a constant time to allow for a proper rest for our body; it’s lights on when we need to be up for work on some days, and then off later on other days,” explains Manoogian. “That creates this kind of social jetlag. That’s also going to make it a lot harder to sleep, and it can compromise health over time.”

Manoogian is also not a fan of daylight savings time. She says, “It shifts our exposure to sunlight later in the day and thus shifts our biological clocks. In the summer, we are getting sunlight later than we should, and when days are shorter, we are waking up in darkness. But the problem is that we still have to start work or school at the same times. This means that our schedules and our body are on different times, and this disrupts the circadian system.”

Although there is no evidence connecting it directly to SAD, daylight savings time is known to be widely disruptive to society and potentially even associated with cardiac health risks. There’s a growing movement to do away with the twice-annual time switch in several Canadian provinces, where Saskatchewan and (as of 2020) the Yukon Territory stick to the same time year-round, and similar proposals are being considered in other jurisdictions around the world.

What can you do?

As with any disorder, your treatment depends in part on severity. If SAD is significantly disrupting your life or making you feel as though life is not worth living anymore, it’s deeply important for you to reach out immediately to a mental health professional who can support you. Roecklein says that effective treatment options include taking medication, receiving cognitive behavioral therapy tailored to treating SAD, or using a SAD lamp (which delivers a higher dose of light than regular indoor lighting), but they should be explored under professional guidance.

If you’re wondering what to do because you’ve already bought a SAD lamp to use on your own, Roecklein says that there could be side effects. The most likely one, which is mild, is that you will feel it isn’t effective. This doesn’t mean that it can’t be the right therapy for you in conjunction with professional guidance — for instance, you could be using it at the wrong times or for the wrong duration. At the other end of the scale, mania is a very rare but significant side effect of improper use.

However, there are some relatively easy things you can do to support your circadian rhythms in everyday life. And while these aren’t guaranteed treatments for SAD, they can help give your body a stabilizing sense of routine.

Keep a consistent schedule, especially if you work from home

This doesn’t need to be a rigid, planned-down-to-10-minute increments affair; it’s more about keeping the stimuli that speak to your circadian system arriving roughly when it expects them, says Manoogian. Social interactions and food are two important circadian cues, so having regular mealtimes and breaks where you make a phone call, go for a walk or talk with other members of your household can really help.

Exercise is another important cue

It’s hard to get — and stay — motivated during a winter of pandemic-related restrictions, so any exercise is better than no exercise at all, emphasizes Manoogian. However, if you do choose to exercise outside, she says that the morning is a good time for your body to get some much needed natural light.

The only time for you to avoid exercising, if possible, is right before bed. When you do, it sends a confusing message to your body that night is a time to be active rather than to prepare for sleep.

Maximizing your light exposure is key

How much light we experience at different times of the day is important. Increasing the amount of light you get in the morning is helpful, whereas increasing your light exposure in the evening can be counterproductive.

So if your morning commute has changed from an hour in the car or on transit to a quick switch from your bed to your desk, you’re losing out on a lot of daylight that you are used to receiving just when you need it most. Taking a morning walk before you start your day, or even sitting near a bright window for the first half of your day can really help.

At night, reducing your light exposure and making your sleeping environment as dark as possible is also of huge benefit, explains Roecklein. “Most circadian biologists and sleep researchers I know have blackout shades and no night lights in their rooms — we don’t even have clocks with illuminated screens.”

No, it’s not just you — 2020 may be making your SAD worse

It’s difficult to separate the impacts of factors like the COVID-19 pandemic, the associated economic downturn and the psychological toll of the current political climate. But Roecklein has noted, at least anecdotally among the people in her SAD study, that there seems to be a higher instance of what psychologists refer to as “negative anticipatory cognitions” — where people consistently expect things to be worse in 2020 than in other years.

Roecklein also notes that experiencing negative life events — such as a bereavement, job loss or some other major change that requires large adjustment — as well as reduced opportunities for social and physical activity are additional risk factors for SAD. These areas of our lives have all been significantly impacted by COVID-19, so she and her colleagues anticipate a higher risk of people experiencing SAD this year.

However, there may be one small silver lining to the current situation, says Manoogian. While routine is very important for our bodies, a regular 9-5 work day can be very unnatural for those of us who aren’t morning people.

“The typical workday schedule is an artificial time that not everyone is able to stick to,” she explains. “If you work from home and you have a little bit of freedom about when you work, this could provide a very interesting opportunity for you to actually coordinate your schedule more with your internal clock.”

Sometimes it’s OK to doomscroll 

Lastly, Roecklein wants to stress that although a routine is important, we are living through monumental events that are unfolding right before our eyes. And if we occasionally want to stay up a few hours later to feel better informed or more connected to other people experiencing the same thing… that’s actually fine.

“We take a moment to care for ourselves by thinking about the pros and cons. So there may be some nights where staying up late and doomscrolling is a choice one might make for good reasons,” says Roecklein. “But then on other nights, when we think about what we want most for ourselves — like better energy in the morning, a more positive mood, better alertness for the endless Zoom meetings — we might be more motivated to turn off devices, turn off the TV, dim the lights, and do all of those things that can help you wind down. Give yourself the chance to make that decision, and make the decision that’s right for you.”

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Mary Halton is Assistant Ideas Editor at TED, and a science journalist based in the Pacific Northwest.

Celebrate Life · Fun · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Just Pondering

Photo by Bruno Scramgnon on Pexels.com

When was the last time you had a good laugh? What was so funny?

Have a great day and remember to take care of yourself. You matter.

Melinda

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

Do you ever feel like you’re not enough?

IDEAS.TED.COM

Mar 6, 2019 / Mary Halton

If your self-worth seems to rise and fall according to what other people think, you’re not alone. But you can challenge this mindset and find a new way of valuing yourself, says psychologist Meag-gan O’Reilly.

This post is part of TED’s “How to Be a Better Human” series, each of which contains a piece of helpful advice from someone in the TED community. To see all the posts, go here

“How often do you get asked ‘What do you do?’ and feel like that question is going to determine how much attention or respect you receive?” That’s a question posed by Meag-gan O’Reilly, staff psychologist at Stanford University’s Vaden Health Center in Palo Alto, California, in a TEDxSJSU talk.

Perhaps you had the stomach-sinking experience of seeing your questioner’s face change or their eyes glaze over when they hear your response. It’s lousy. Instead of being seen and appreciated for all of your complicated individuality, you feel like your worth has been judged in a flash — and found wanting.

But getting a nod of approval is also unsettling, says O’Reilly. “Even those of us who seem to be winning at these conditions stand to lose because conditions change with time, age or unexpected hardships.”

O’Reilly recalls a vivid example from her own life. Once, at a party, she went up to the host — someone she’d never met before — to thank him for his hospitality. She smiled, stuck out her hand, and, she recalls, “I was met with the response of ‘Qualify yourself.’ … That’s when his friend beside him reiterated the question with more clarity: ‘Qualify yourself; tell him why he should talk to you.’”

O’Reilly says, “Immediately my mind split into two paths. The first and more dominant voice got to work on the task … What are the bells and whistles of my existence that I can showcase to woo and persuade this person I’m worth his time?”

Meanwhile, the other part of her was stunned, as she put it, that “there was a litmus test for conversation. I’m happy to say that this part of me won out. I didn’t engage. I simply said, ‘Thanks again for hosting’ and walked away.”

This incident spurred O’Reilly to think about how small moments like these can chip away at our self-worth. “As a psychologist who’s heard and held hundreds of human stories, I have witnessed firsthand how this mentality of feeling like you are not enough has stolen dreams, ambitions, relationships, health and happiness away from people,” she says.

For some of us, these encounters echo earlier occasions in our lives when we felt like our value as a person was determined by other people — usually adults — and fluctuated depending on what they thought of our latest grade, game, performance or accomplishment. O’Reilly says, “Think to yourself for a moment: What were some of the early messages you received about who you needed to be to show up in the world as meaningful?”

No matter how deep-rooted these experiences and feelings are, we can free ourselves from thinking that we’re not enough. This undoing may take a while to happen so we should be patient, cautions O’Reilly. “It’s a process, and I call it lifespan work.”

Here’s how we can start challenging the not-enough mindsets in ourselves and in the people around us, according to O’Reilly. 

1. Do what makes you — not other people — happy.

Feeling like you’re not enough can sometimes lead you to take on certain friends, hobbies, projects or jobs that you think will make you look good in other people’s estimation. O’Reilly asks: “When was the last time you did something not because it’s going to show up on your resume, not because it meets that condition of worth you’re wrestling with, but just because you enjoyed it?”

It’s important to pursue the things that you genuinely enjoy because “it softens our stance toward ourselves,” says O’Reilly. “It allows us a zoomed-out perspective and gives us a chance to experience ourselves and others in a non-conditional way.” When you’re in the flow of doing what you love, you can shake off the weight of judgements and expectations.

2. Recognize that you have value — period.

Believing you’re enough does not mean that you should lower the bar for what you’d like to accomplish in life, emphasizes O’Reilly; it’s just that your personal enoughness remains constant and isn’t affected by your actions. She says, “Please go and achieve much. But do it in such a way that you know there’s a floor or a baseline of worth that you cannot descend below.”

Contrary to what some people fear, recognizing our inherent self-worth does not mean that we’ll be full of our own self-importance. O’Reilly says, “An inflated sense of self-esteem sounds like … ‘I can do it, I’m the best,” whether or not that’s actually true.” Inherent value, she adds, “sounds like ‘This is important to me, and I’m going to do my best … but it doesn’t define me.’”

3. When you meet new people, go beyond your job, title or school. 

If we’d like to remove the judgment associated with the “So, what do you do?” question, we can also change how we respond to it. “The next time someone asks you what you do, don’t provide an occupation or field of study,” says O’Reilly. “Instead, share with them something that you cherish about yourself; try to break interpersonal ground with them and not start with labels.” (For more advice on the topic, read the TED Ideas article “How to introduce yourself so you’ll be unforgettable — in a good way.”)

4. Respond with love and acceptance to the successes and failures of your family, friends and colleagues. 

Similar to the previous point, we need to try to model a new way of being if we want to ease the not-enough mindset in the people around us. Given how achievement-oriented society can be, says O’Reilly, “this is difficult … but a person is not a product and we need a culture that delineates the two and helps us see that one does not define the other.”

Wouldn’t you like the most important people in your life — young or old — to feel like they are enough? By appreciating them and showing that your care for them is unconditional, you can create change that will ripple outwards. “Enough is enough with these worth wars we’re waging,” O’Reilly says. “Think about how radically different our world and relationships would be if each of us actually acted like we all had inherent value.”

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Mary Halton is Assistant Ideas Editor at TED, and a science journalist based in the Pacific Northwest.

Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

4 Steps To Help When You Feel Overwhelmed

Everyone will encounter stress in life. Sometimes, this stress is entirely justified, and it’s all about how you respond to it. However, people will also experience unnecessary stress that can make them feel overwhelmed and affect their mental wellbeing, performance, and even relationships with those they love. Feeling overwhelmed is never a pleasant experience, and if you encounter this regularly, you need to identify ways to overcome it. Here are four steps you can use the next time it occurs. 

Photo by Inzmam Khan on Pexels.com

Identify The Trigger 

You cannot start to battle feelings of being overwhelmed without understanding your triggers. Many triggers can affect people, ranging from too much work to too much noise or even working with someone you do not get on with. Once you recognize your triggers, you can consider ways to avoid stress spikes. From here, you can look for ways to avoid the triggers, but if this isn’t possible – especially in professional settings – you can work out how to cope with them. 

Stop and Step Away

There is no use in doing anything if you are stressed and overwhelmed. You are not thinking straight, leading to severe mistakes that put you and others in danger. If possible, you should stop what you’re doing and step away to remove yourself from the situation. There are breathing exercises that you can use to reduce stress, which can help clear your head and make it easier to think and consider your next move. 

Ask Yourself If You Can Solve the Problem Now

Some problems are easily overcome, others are not. If you encounter an issue, you should ask whether you’re able to solve it right now. Things like situational stress are easier to solve than financial stress, which can take time and a plan. If you’re able to solve the problem right now, go ahead and do it. However, if you cannot solve the issue in the immediate moment, don’t worry about it too much. As challenging as this approach is, especially for those who experience severe stress and anxiety, it will at least allow you to think clearly at the moment and conceptualize the issue. 

Get Help From Friends (Or Strangers)

You don’t need to deal with these issues alone. Friends, family, and even professional services are available to make problems more manageable. Those experiencing financial stress can compare credit and improve their standing with lenders and other financial institutions. People that feel stressed and overwhelmed in busy environments can get support from their partner, parents, siblings, or friends. Everyone looks for support differently, so work out what approach works best for you, and don’t feel embarrassed about discussing these issues with those closest to you, as they will always be happy to help. 

Overcome 

You might never truly escape those awful feelings of being overwhelmed. However, this doesn’t mean you cannot find useful and effective ways to manage these feelings. If you can take strong steps and understand how you can manage your stress, you won’t feel at the mercy of your emotions anymore. 

This is a collaborative post.

Melinda

Children · Family · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health

How Cultures Around The World Think About Parenting

What can American parents learn from how other cultures look at parenting? A look at child-rearing ideas in Japan, Norway, Spain — and beyond.

The crisis of American parenting, as anyone who has looked at the parenting section of a bookstore can attest, is that nobody knows what the hell they’re doing. Yet despite this lack of confidence and apparent absence of knowledge, many American parents zealously believe that their choices carve out their children’s futures. Indeed, they seek the advice of expert after expert in the field in order to succeed at one goal: to raise the happiest, the most successful, and the most well-adjusted leaders of the future.

But what dangers lay in thinking that there is one “right” way to parent? How much of how we parent is actually dictated by our culture? How do the ways we parent express the essentialness of who we are, as a nation?

“Americans have no script,” says Jennifer Senior (TED Talk: For parents, happiness is a very high bar), author of All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood. “We believe we get to invent our future, our opportunities and who are our children are going to be. Which is wonderful, but also very troubling.”

In reporting her book, says Senior, when she asked mothers who they went to for parenting advice, they named friends, websites and books. None named their own mothers. Only the most current child-rearing strategies were desired, in order to best position their children for achievement in the future.

In other words, that which is most American about us — our belief that the future is unwrit — is what is driving us mad as parents. Senior paraphrases Margaret Mead, who wrote this in 1942: In America, there are only this year’s children.

In Norway, childhood is strongly institutionalized, says Norwegian sociologist and economist Margunn Bjornholt. Indeed, most children enter state-sponsored daycare at 1 year old (parents first get almost a full year of state-sponsored leave from work), then enter school and organized activities.

Norwegians believe that it is better for children to be in daycare as toddlers. At daycare, methods reflect the country’s fetishistic dedication to fresh air. So even in Oslo, where arguably the indoor air quality is fresher, and even in Scandinavian winters, children are bundled up and taken outside to nap in their strollers.

Craziness? Culture. In Japan, where Gross-Loh lives part of the year, she lets her 4-year-old daughter run errands with her 7-year-old sister and 11-year-old brother — without parental supervision. Her kids don’t hesitate to take the Tokyo subways by themselves and walk on busy streets alone, just like their Japanese peers. But when she comes back to the States, Gross-Loh doesn’t allow the same.

“If I let them out on their own like that in the U.S., I wouldn’t just get strange looks,” she says. “Somebody would call Child Protective Services.”

Both in Japan and Norway, parents are focused on cultivating independence. Children do things alone early, whether it’s walking to school or to the movies. The frames, however, are different. In Scandinavia, there is an emphasis on a democratic relationship between parents and children. In Sweden especially, the “rights” of a child are important. For example, a child has the “right” to access their parents’ bodies for comfort, and therefore should be allowed into their parents’ bed with them in the middle of the night. If a parent doesn’t allow them, they are both denying them their rights and being a neglectful parent. In parts of Asia, meanwhile, co-sleeping with a family member through late childhood is common. Korean parents spend more time holding their babies and having physical contact than most. But within a family, obedience is key — not democracy.

In Jewish tradition, says Wendy Mogel, a clinical psychologist and author of The Blessing of a B Minus: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Resilient Teenagers, there’s a teaching in the Talmud that every parent has an obligation to teach their child how to swim.

“We’re supposed to be raising our children to leave us,” she says. “They must develop self-reliance and resourcefulness and resilience, which is a challenge, because we must allow our children to make mistakes.”

This is enormously hard for American parents to do. “Parents are genuinely anxious about really big things like the melting ice caps and collapsing economy and the unending stories about violence and predators and college admissions,” says Mogel. “They displace all of these fears of things they can’t control onto the one thing they believe they can control, which is children.”

American parents are highly focused on making sure that their children’s talents are groomed for success. Sara Harkness, a professor in the Department of Human Development and Family Studies at the University of Connecticut and a pioneering researcher on parenting and culture, found that nearly 25 percent of all of the descriptors used by American parents were a derivation of “smart,” “gifted” or “advanced.” “Our sense of needing to push children to maximize potential is partly driven by fear of the child failing in an increasingly competitive world where you can’t count on the things that our parents could count on,” Harkness suggests.

This is not unlike many Asian nations, where parenting, from a very early age, is focused highly on academics and college acceptance. One Korean mother who Harkness interviewed played English tapes to her 2-month-old baby “because it’s never too early to start,” she says. The parent’s primary role is as an educator, and the child’s role is to respect the parent and repay them with sacrifices.

In the Netherlands, meanwhile, parents used “smart” to describe their children only 10 percent of the time. Dutch parents believe strongly in not pushing their children too hard. “People would talk about a cousin who got a PhD and was very unhappy because there were no jobs at universities, and said that you shouldn’t teach your child to read before they got to school, because then your child would be bored at school and not have any friends,” says Harkness.

Instead, regularly scheduled rest, food and a pleasant environment are the top priorities for Dutch parents.

But in Spain, where families are focused on the social and interpersonal aspects of child development, parents are shocked at the idea of a child going to bed at 6:30pm and sleeping uninterrupted until the next day, instead of interacting and participating in family life in the evenings. “They were horrified at the concept,” says Harkness. “Their kids were going to bed at 10 p.m.”

In the U.S., we want to be Korean and Dutch and Japanese and Jewish and Norwegian and Spanish, all at once. “What is unique to us is the desire to be happy all the time and experience no discomfort and achieve,” says Mogel. “These are competing values.”

The American desire for solutions is starting to radiate outwards. A growing awareness of the scarcity of resources, and the potential for true social mobility, is increasing the pressure on parents globally to “parent” their kids, as a verb. In Taiwan, the most popular parenting books are translations of American guides.

Yet parental anxiety is a terrible idea to export. Instead, “we should be learning from each other,” says Harkness, “and recognizing that there are very different successful pathways to raising children.”

The diversity of ideas should be liberating, not stress-inducing, agrees Gross-Loh. “It was incredibly freeing to realize that there was no single way to do things and it’s totally okay to make mistakes as a parent,” says Gross-Loh of her research. “It gave me space to let my children be who they are, and let them grow into that.”

The U.S., home to immigrants who bring their own traditions from around the world, is uniquely positioned to both learn and let go. American parents can recast their scriptlessness as they see fit, drawing on both global tradition and present theory. Will they? Tomorrow’s children may decide.

For those who live outside of America, I would love to hear your perception’s, please leave a comment. I can take the good, bad and the ugly.

Melinda

Reference:

Amy S. Choi is a freelance journalist, writer and editor based in Brooklyn, N.Y. She is the co-founder and editorial director of The Mash-Up Americans, a media and consulting company that examines multidimensional modern life in the U.S.