Tag: Travel

Survivor & So Much More *First Posted 4/21/2014*
Child Abuse · Mental Illness · Moving Forward · Parental Abuse · Sexual Abuse · Suicide · Survivor

Survivor & So Much More *First Posted 4/21/2014*

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I am alive, happy, productive and helping other Survivors. Very Blessed. My childhood and teenage years where so difficult I truly believed suicide was the only answer. My first attempt was at 9 years old, I took all  the pills in my dad’s medicine cabinet. I got a buzz then my stomach pumped. Suicide was always on my mind since the abuse was everyday. If  it wasn’t physical abuse, it was constant mental abuse by my mother. At the same time I saw my mother physically and emotionally abused by my alcoholic stepfather.

At 13 years old I left my abusive life behind. It sounds great but you are so wounded you don’t want to look anyone in the eye, they may hit you or call you names. My mind stripped down and filled with trash, my mother took every drop of confidence I had. Over time my confidence grew and I started building who I am today. I did get called names and had a couple good fights . Sounds like any teenager trying spread their wings.

I have many unresolved emotions, responses and fears. Who doesn’t? What I can say for sure, I’m a survivor and so much more. Survivors have to dig really deep after being kicked down. It took years for me to discover what I liked and longer to get over my fear of failure.

My mother told me I was stupid all the time. I know better when I look at the books I’ve read. I do research on the internet and find internal medical presentations. Last week was a 155-page presentation by the FDA on ECT to the medical community. I didn’t just find it, I understood entirely and told my husband about it. I’m not stupid.

I love art, music, photography, interior design, ancient history and archeology.  At the height of my career, I earned over 300K a year, #1 in the sales force.  I can grow beautiful roses, and collect antique cameras. I love travel and went to Russia by myself. I’m not stupid.

I’ve had over 20 ECT Treatments while battling the Black Dog, married three times, and started drinking at 9  years old.  I’ve made plenty of mistakes while building the person I am today at 50 years old. I’m a survivor and so much more.

I am not stupid!

Warrior

Hypomania: Bipolar Rollercoaster
Anxiety · Bipolar Disorder · Chronic Illness · Depression · Health and Wellbeing · Healthy Living · Men & Womens Health · Mental Health · Mental Illness · PTSD · Therapy

Hypomania: Bipolar Rollercoaster

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When you have Bipolar Disorder it’s not just up or down, there’s an in-between, it’s called Hypomania. Of all the states of Bipolar Disorder, this is one of the most dangerous because you don’t see it and if you do, you don’t want it to end.

Photo by Dana Cetojevic on Pexels.com

I experienced Hypomania for 10 years, some of the best years of my life and after the fall, some of the worst years of my life.

My career was at an all-time high, I was an Executive Salesperson, number one in the company, winning award after award and making a very comfortable living.

When you have Bipolar Disorder, hypomania can make almost anything possible. I went to Russia by myself, traveled to France, around the United States, and the Caribbean with my friends.

My doctor kept telling me the higher you go the harder you fall. I didn’t want to give up the person I was. It’s intoxicating, so powerful, and hard to accept that it’s your illness in control.

I crashed hard, straight into the darkest depression. I got fired from my job, blew through my savings, and filed for bankruptcy. Did I mention getting divorced and building a new house? I lost everything.

What I lost was not worth the high. All the negative thoughts came back. My life is not as exciting, anxiety kept me in the house. Many days I didn’t get of bed. I was suicidal, requiring hospitalization on several occasions to receive ECT treatments to help bring me out of the darkness.

It’s been 20 years since I’ve felt manic in any form and it’s been a blessing. I’ve suffered several debilitating bouts with dark depression requiring hospitalization and ECT but my life stayed intact.

I have to give credit not only to my Psychiatrist and Therapist but to my husband. He started going on my doctor’s appointment with me from the beginning and this made a world of difference. I didn’t have to try and explain what was going on, he saw it from my conversations with the doctor and hearing it firsthand. My husband has been critical in helping me manage my Bipolar Disorder.

Don’t let the rollercoaster lure you in! As my doctor said, the higher you go the harder you fall. I know this to be true.

Melinda

Child Abuse · Mental Illness · Moving Forward · Parental Abuse · Sexual Abuse · Suicide · Survivor

Survivor & So Much More *First Posted 4/21/2014*

Looking for the Light14 Comments

I am alive, happy, productive and helping other Survivors. I’m very blessed.

My childhood and teenage years were so difficult I truly believed suicide was the only answer. My first attempt was at 9 years old, I took all the pills in my dad’s medicine cabinet. I got a buzz then my stomach pumped. Suicide was always on my mind since the abuse was every day. If it wasn’t physical abuse, it was constant mental abuse by my mother. At the same time, I saw my mother physically and emotionally abused by my alcoholic stepfather.

At 13 years old I left my abusive life behind. It sounds great but you are so wounded you don’t want to look anyone in the eye, they may hit you or call you names. My mind stripped down and filled with trash, my mother took every drop of confidence I had. Over time my confidence grew and I started building who I am today. I did get called names and had a couple good fights. Sounds like any teenager trying to spread their wings.

I have many unresolved emotions, responses, and fears. Who doesn’t? What I can say for sure, I’m a survivor and so much more. Survivors have to dig really deep after being kicked down. It took years for me to discover what I liked and longer to get over my fear of failure.

My mother told me I was stupid all the time. I know better when I look at the books I’ve read. I do research on the internet and find internal Medical presentations. Last week was a 155 page presentation by the FDA on ECT to the medical community. I didn’t just find it, I understood entirely and told my husband about it. I’m not stupid.

I love art, music, photography, interior design, ancient history, and archeology.  At the height of my career, I earned over 300K a year, #1 on the sales force.  I can grow beautiful roses, collect antique cameras. I love to travel and went to Russia by myself. I’m not stupid.

I’ve had over 20 ECT Treatments while battling the Black Dog, married three times and started drinking at 9  years old.  I’ve made plenty of mistakes while building the person I am today at 50 years old. I’m a survivor and so much more.

Warrior

Fun · Moving Forward

Throw Back Thursday *Country? Rock? Country Rock?

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Howdy friends,

Thinking about Country Music today, the line between Country and Rock are not always visible. Brad Paisley and many others sound like Rock with riff’s  and jamming guitar solos. The video surprised me, did I wake up in tunesville?  The Country artist are everywhere except in Country music. I hope you enjoy the music. Next week we’re Rocking, flames shooting from the sky. Maybe Big Hair band or you can leave a request 24 hours a day.  Xx  M

 

Celebrate Life · Survivor

Putting foot in the Dirt *Nominated Me For Liebster Award* Yay!

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Michelle from puttingmyfeetinthedirt.wp.com  nominated me for the prized Liebster Award. Michele’s blog is informative, Christian based and makes you stop and soul search at times. I really enjoy talking to her and learning about her life outside of blogging. You have to check out her site puttingmyfeetinthedirt.wp.com , Michelle’s writing will inspire you.

11 facts about me

I watch true crimes programs on tv. I’ve learned so much about basic self-defense, stalking and how many family members kill each other. It’s very informative.

I’m concerned about underserved children in my community and shelters. My concern expands to children around the world. Working with children is the first initiative of the charity.

I love Pop Tarts, grateful for delicious gluten-free brands.

I loved jewelry as a child and have several necklaces made as a little one. Making  jewelry builds my confidence, growing when each piece comes out correctly.

A family of Hawks hang out on the bird bath. They enjoy drinking and cooling off. Sometimes three get in bath, making it a bit overcrowded.

I love to compost, worms and all.

Love to decorate and or planning changes.

Enjoy mapping my Ancestors, have found big surprises along the way.

Enjoy learning, there are thousands of free courses. I recently started a course at Stanford University on Human Trafficking.

Riding horses is a spiritual experience.

Love antique Leica rangefinder camera’s.

I have to duck out on nominations due to health. Take a look at your blog, have you worked hard to achieve original goals. If so you deserve the award. Follow the rules and pass the award along.

XO M

Celebrate Life · Fun

Sunshine…memories of Sail Racing topped with breathtaking sunset

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OH HAPPY DAY!  Dedicated to you.

Recreational Sport Vacation Yachting On The Ocean In The Summer
Sport Racing In The Brilliant Sunshine

I am a Cancer and nothing could fit better. I love the water, sailing and joined a team to race on friends 30′ sailboat. Beautiful memories sailing and watching the sunset enjoying a deep red wine.  I hope you have sunshine in your life today.   XO  M

Marina

 

Images By Graphic Images

 

Men & Womens Health

Randstien Brightens My Day With No Strings Attached Award

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Ride on! Rough-Shod if need be, Smooth-Shod if that will do,but ride on.  -Charles Dickens-

My friend Randstien from Hyperion Strum https://hyperionsturm.wordpress.com Honored me with The No Strings Attached Award. Two in one week is awesome. I now get the pleasure of passing the award to other great blogs..

 The No Strings Attached Award designed on Alfreds Almanac using input from his readers. You can check out his original post by clicking  https://thenostringsattachedaward.wordpress.com .

It is with great pleasure to introduce  you to:

 http://myweb-municipality.com

https://beautifuliceland.wordpress.com

I enjoy both sites and look forward to their new post. Please visit both their sites, you’ll find two great site.

XO  Warrior

Survivor

Throwback Thursday * Reflection….What if today was your last day? *

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The future is so bright I have to wear shades.
The future is so bright I have to wear shades.

There are three tick born illnesses making a home in my body. I’ve been kicked in the gut, stomped to the ground and rolled over by a truck the past few weeks. The monsters inside have met their match. I ain’t going down that easy. I’ve been to sick to update my Lyme Journal, many days I feel like death. On better days I feel like an ice pick is stabbing my forehead. My body rejects me, today falling when only three feet from the ground. The doctor said I could die at my last appointment. I do not visualized myself not getting up and won’t. I want to live each minute, feel it, make plans, add to my bucket list (Tango Lessons), keep learning and looking forward. Both songs are strong inspirations to me, enjoy today, the people I love and keep an open heart.

Many have sent me words of encouragement, love, well wishes and lots of laughs. Thank you from the bottom of my big Texas heart. I appreciate everyone who prays for me and takes the time to write. My heart overflows with sunshine. Life is short, if we could live each day like it was our last, what a wonderful world it would be.   XO Warrior

Travel

UPDATE: Inprisoned Since June In Solitary Confinement Ghoncheh Ghavami Found Guilty in Tehran, Sentenced To One Year In Prison.

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Thanks to everyone who read Ghoncheh Ghavami’s story and signed the Change.org petition. I hope this is not the last chance we have to make our voices heard. I’ve included the original Change.org petition at the end of the latest developments.  XO Warrior

 Iran Jails British-Iranian Woman Ghoncheh Ghavami Over Men’s Volleyball Protest
AP | By ADAM SCHRECK
Posted: 11/02/2014 10:48 am EST Updated: 11/03/2014 11:59 am EST

DUBAI, United Arab Emirates (AP) — An Iranian-British woman detained while trying to attend a men’s volleyball game in Iran has been found guilty of spreading propaganda against the ruling system and sentenced to a year in prison, her lawyer said Sunday.

Britain immediately raised concerns about Ghoncheh Ghavami’s trial. The case highlighted the limits to free expression inside Iran and efforts by authorities to enforce strict interpretations of Islāmic norms despite a policy of greater openness being pursued by moderate President Hassan Rouhani.

The 25-year-old woman’s brother, Iman Ghavami, said the family had hoped she would be set free based on time already served since her June arrest. They are still trying to get official details of the verdict, he said.

“We’re disappointed and kind of shocked. We really hoped she’d be released,” he told The Associated Press.

Ghavami’s lawyer, Mahmoud Alizadeh Tabatabaei, said in an interview that a court found her guilty of “propagating against the ruling system.” Tabatabaei said he was shown the text of the verdict but is still waiting to receive it officially.

“I was told at the court today that my client’s case has been referred back to the prosecutor because Ghavami is facing new charges. So, the verdict was not given to me,” he said.

Tabatabaei didn’t elaborate what the new charges are or why fresh charges have been raised against his client now.

Ghavami was detained in June at Tehran’s Freedom Stadium after trying to attend a men’s volleyball match between Iran and Italy.

She is a graduate of the University of London’s School of Oriental and African Studies and had been volunteering to help street kids in Iran for a few months, her brother said.

Women are banned from attending male-only matches in Iran. Ghavami tried to enter the stadium with other women to protest the ban, according to Amnesty International. Female photographers inside the complex were also ordered to leave, though none was arrested.

Ghavami was held along with the other protesters for a few hours before being released. She was detained again a few days later and stood trial last month. Her brother said she had no access to her lawyer until it came time for her court hearing.

“This whole case has been full of abnormalities,” Iman Ghavami said.

Ghavami has been held in solitary confinement for much of her time at Tehran’s Evin prison, according to Amnesty. She went on hunger strike at one point last month to protest her detention.

The rights group sharply criticized Sunday’s verdict and called Ghavami a prisoner of conscience.

“It’s an outrage that a young woman is being locked up simply for peacefully having her say about how women are discriminated against in Iran,” Amnesty International UK Director Kate Allen said.

Iman Ghavami said he believes authorities singled out his sister from the other female protesters because she holds both British and Iranian citizenship. Iranian authorities do not recognize dual nationalities for its citizens and treats them as Iranians under law.

The British Foreign Office expressed doubts about the sentence Sunday.

“We have concerns about the grounds for this prosecution, due process during the trial and Miss Ghavami’s treatment whilst in custody,” it said in a statement.

Iran’s moderate President Rouhani has faced resistance from hard-liners who feel he is too soft on those who challenge strict interpretations of Islam.

In one case earlier this year, six young Iranian men and women who shot a video of themselves dancing together and unveiled to Pharrell Williams’ “Happy” were arrested along with the film’s director for allegedly breeching Islāmic norms. They received suspended sentences of jail terms and lashes in September.

Iran’s judiciary spokesman, Gholam Hossein Mohseni Ejehi, has criticized reports linking Ghavami’s arrest to volleyball, saying last month: “Her case has nothing to do with sports.”

Associated Press writers Ali Akbar Dareini in Tehran, Iran, and Danica Kirka in London contributed reporting

CHANGE.ORG

https://www.change.org/p/david-cameron-hassanrouhani-bring-my-sister-home-freeghonchehghavami#share

@David_Cameron + @HassanRouhani Bring my sister home #FreeGhonchehGhavami

Iman Ghavami
London, United Kingdom

Since June 2014 my younger sister is in solitary confinement in Tehran. She was arrested for going to a men’s volleyball match.

Ghoncheh is a British Iranian dual citizen. She was there to watch a game. She was arrested because of a misunderstanding.

Amnesty International has called for an Urgent Action for my sister. Amnesty believes Ghoncheh has been put under psychological pressure and been told she “would not walk out of prison alive.”

The Foreign and Commonwealth Office has said it was “aware of reports” of her imprisonment but its diplomatic powers are limited in Iran. We know that the UK Government has the power to do more to help Ghoncheh. Past cases have shown us that when pressure is applied Government will take more action.

Every signature and share will bring my sister closer to home. Will you help end this nightmare for my family?

——————

خواهر کوچکترم از نهم تیر در انفرادی به سر‌می‌برد. غنچه به خاطر رفتن به ورزشگاه والیبال دستگیر شد
غنچه به آن جا رفته بود تا بازی را تماشا کند. دستگیری او یک سوتفاهم است

با امضای این نامه به من کمک کنید تا خواهرم را دوباره به خانه برگردانم

——————

I’m a distressed brother who is fighting to bring her sister home. My sister is a law student in University of London. She should not have been arrested in the first place and does not deserve to be in solitary.

Amnesty International has said that “Ghoncheh’s lawyer has not been allowed to meet in prison or even access her case file.”

Ghoncheh was in Iran for a few months to work for a charity teaching literacy to street children and see our family. She thought women would be allowed to attend World League volleyball matches after Iran was warned about the matter by International Federation of Volleyball (FIVB).

Her arrest is a truly tragic misunderstanding. Will you help bring her home?

To:
Government of Iran & the UK government
Please allow my sister to come home.

She should not have been arrested for going to a volleyball match. Ghoncheh does not deserve to be in solitary.

by Iman Ghavami
Petition Organizer

Fun · Music · Therapy

Throw Back Thursday**Triple Shot with Country Legends Tanya, Reba,Loretta,Tammy and Dolly** Hang on to your hats!

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Me and My Pony
Me and My Pony

Enjoy the songs from my childhood, give or take a few years. Tanya Tucker’s Delta Dawn has a place buried in my heart. Many of the songs are simple, no fancy videos or special effects. What they have in common are words that grab your heart and still have meaning today. I bet there are many who aren’t familiar with the artist or words to the songs. Get on your shit kickers and get line dance warmed up!  Enjoy. M

Fun · Survivor · Travel

Cellphoneography: Working On Peace

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Japan plans for celebration at Peace Statue, the celebration scheduled for 8/9/14. There are many messages in the festivities including, educate those who are to young to remember the Atomic Bomb dropping 8/9/1945 at 11:02. The celebration is to send a message of World Peace. I think World peace is desperately needed more now than any other time in history.

Travel

Russian Gothic Architecture

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I visited St. Petersburg, Russia in 2001 shortly after 9-11 happened. I was boarding my plane when the first tower has hit. When air restrictions lifted, I left with a heavy heart yet thankful for a distraction. Nothing says adventure like traveling alone half way around the globe not knowing the language.

I didn’t know what to expect except cathedrals, ballet and art museums. St. Petersburg is so much more. People knew I was American since most women don’t travel alone. Russians and people from several countries came up to say how sorry they were about the tragedy in America. I cried knowing someone a world away cared. We can live in a bubble sometimes.

The Russian people tried so hard to help me when asking for directions even thou we didn’t speak each other’s language. I walked everywhere even at night with little worry of crime. Restaurant owners would watch for me knowing I was a women walking alone. The food was outstanding, caviar superb and service was excellent. I felt like a princess, the gypsy music never sounded better.

I stayed at The Astoria Hotel, one of the two five-star hotels in St. Petersburg. They had me at hello! From the Mercedes at the airport, to the tour of the hotel, fresh flowers, chilled champagne with hand written welcome note. The doorman knew my name when I arrived. I had a personal taste test of the different types of caviar.

A little intimidating for a hometown Texas girl. I hit the tourist spots and didn’t see half of my list. St. Petersburg is beautiful with a long interesting history. The Russian people were warm and hold a special place in my heart. I can’t wait to go back.

Warrior