Tag: Sexual Assault

(Updated) What can we learn from Alaska’s law on Domestic Violence
Advocacy · Celebrate Life · Dating Violence · Domestic Violence · Health and Wellbeing · Men & Womens Health · Rape · Sexual Abuse · Survivor

(Updated) What can we learn from Alaska’s law on Domestic Violence

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During the past two-plus years of living with the pandemic Domestic Violence has increased dramatically. We have to keep the topic of Dometic Violence in our lawmaker’s front mirror in order to enact change. 

Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.com

I flipped to the National Geographic channel to find Alaska State Troopers one day. Watching was a blessing. The show opened my eyes to ending domestic violence. Ending domestic violence is happening now, not somewhere in the future. We have to raise our voices louder and demand the same protection for all abused in other states. Below are notes were taken while watching several episodes.

Fairbanks, Alaska has the highest number of domestic violence cases in America.

Domestic violence calls are dispatched to Troopers as top priority status. Everyone on the scene was interviewed, once established as a domestic violence case, it’s an automatic assault charge and trip to jail. Other charges will follow based on the situation.

This is a very condensed version of what I watched:

A fight escalates, and the female screaming loudly to get out of the house. Punched multiple times, raped, and once outside pulled by the hair back into the house. When the police arrive she’s in the front yard in bra and panties, visible marks of being hit in the face, crying and trying to convince police nothing happened. Troopers receive education on domestic violence behavior. One officer goes into the house with a gun drawn. The second keeps lightly pushing, why is she in the front yard in her bra and panties with visible marks on her face. The male was taken to the side of the house, interviewed, handcuffed, and lead to a car. Officer provides a jacket to cover herself and support her, and she tells her what happened to leave out being raped. Her disheveled appearance tips one officer to ask what else happened. She bows her head crying not wanting to go to the hospital and tells of being raped. Thru the support and gentle urging, she agrees to hospital. The male was charged with assault and kidnapping for not allowing her to leave.

A neighbor hears a woman screaming, and goes to investigate. He witnesses a man beating a woman which quickly spills to the front yard. The neighbor calls the police, and they arrive to see a man running into the woods. One head into the woods with a gun drawn. The second officer discovers the male running is jealous of her other boyfriend. He looked thru the window to see another boyfriend there and breaks into the back door. He also assaulted the man. The abuser was charged with assault and taken to jail.

In Alaska, there is no first-time pass, first time, and every time abuser goes to jail. The top priority status given to DV calls backed by state laws written to protect all citizens, gives me hope. The laws in other states sound good to those who turn an eye to the problem. When states charge a teen for smoking pot with a  seven-year jail term and a murderer walks out in less than two years on good behavior, the legal system requires an overhaul. As paying taxpayers we have the right to vote, speak out and advocate for change.

Be sure you know where your lawmaker stands on Domestic Violence and vote accordingly. 

I want more people to see what can be done to stop Domestic Violence. 

Melinda

Thru The Eyes Of A Child
Abuse · Child Abuse · Domestic Violence · Mental Health · Parental Abuse · Survivor

Thru The Eyes Of A Child

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Growing up in a household of Domestic Violence is traumatic, lonely, heartbreaking and forever changes the person you are and who you become.

My step-father would regularly drag my mother down the hall, beating her head from one side to the other, calling her vial names. The hall ended at my bedroom door. I heard all saw the brunt of her pain.

One evening after he was drinking heavily again, he dragged her down the hall, only this time when they stopped at my bedroom door I heard her begging for her life. I peeked out the door carefully and found he had a knife to her throat. I knew he was going to kill her. Then what?

I ran away that night, I was nine years old. That’s more than a child can handle. I went to my boyfriend’s house across town and told his parents what happened. Of course, they had to call my mother after I calmed down. I received a beating for that before we even turned the corner.

I was also emotionally and physically abused by my mother and stepfather which added my train wreck of a life.

It took years of therapy and medication for me to clearly see I was not to blame and even longer to grieve for the little girl whose childhood was ripped away piece by piece.

It was almost 20 years later before my brother had to pull a gun on my step-father to make him leave while beating my mother. 

Here are a few organizations that can help:

Joyful Heart Foundation   joyfulheartfoundation.org

RAINN.org  has provided support to the National Assault Hotline for since 1994 Many other services are provided and available in English & Spanish

National Domestic Hotline Resources/Support  24/7  1-800-799-7233   Live Chat Daily from 7am-2am Central Standard Time  1-800-787-3224

No More NoMore.org

If you’re in a Domestic relationship that is violent, have a plan for the day you need to leave and only tell the most trusted person where you are. Get a new cell phone and don’t use joint credit cards. Get as far away as you can and take your children.

Keep your eyes and ears open, most importantly look at the children, their actions and remember the eyes can tell you everything.

Melinda

Abuse · Bipolar Disorder · Child Abuse · Depression · Mental Health · Mental Illness · Parental Abuse · PTSD

Running to Stand Still

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May is Mental Health Awareness Month and I wanted to shine a light on my own mental health struggles. I believe trauma in our early years greatly impacts our mental health. I got the short in the the stick as they say and I’m so glad to have had the right people in my life and the will to fight to get where I am today.

I have Bipolar Disorder on top of trauma related PTSD but today I’m stable. take my meds 99% of the time, keep a schedule, work hard to reduce stress in my life since that is one of the big triggers with my Bipolar Disorder.

I want to say to anyone out there who is struggling, do something. Anything, a step forward is a step forward. If you are at the bottom barely hanging on, check yourself in to a Psychiatric Hospital and ge the help you need. There is no shame, NO SHAME! I’ve been hospitalized several times and I’m alive today.

If you want to live and don’t know who, reach out to someone. Call 911 if you have to, go to the hospital, do something. Your life is important!

Photo by Anna Shvets on Pexels.com

Original post from 3/2014

The song “Running to Stand Still” by U2 pierced my soul. I can’t explain the feeling. It describes my life in four simple words. I have fought most of my life to stay alive, many of my own bad choices. In the early sixties, my parents met at a party. I don’t know if they dated or a one-night stand. At 17 years old she was pregnant and engaged to another man. Women didn’t have the voice we do today so it was a shot-gun wedding. I don’t know what baggage she brought to the relationship. I know both of her parents were alcoholics. I believe one issue was the two kids with picket fence fantasy and displaced anger. I was physically and mentally abused by my mother from birth. We lived in a two-story duplex. One afternoon my grandparents came over. My grandmother learned my mother had left me upstairs in the bathtub at six months old. On another visit in the middle of winter, they found me in a diaper,  my high chair pushed up to an open window. I was running a fever and was crying. She opened the window because I was hot. I was not physically able to run but believe my mind started running early. Running from the pain, feeling unloved, lack of trust, and believed the terrible things said to me were true. It’s been a long journey to learn who I am. Most days I think positive, keep the pain locked away and maneuver my Bipolar Disorder. I buried the past for survival and to move forward. I’ve learned from years of therapy, pain finds you or affects your health. Both have found me, we work on my inner child each session.  

M/Warrior

Domestic Violence Thru The Eyes Of A Child
Abuse · Child Abuse · Domestic Violence · Mental Health · Parental Abuse · Survivor

Domestic Violence Thru The Eyes Of A Child

Looking for the Light5 Comments

Growing up in a household of Domestic Violence is traumatic, lonely, and heartbreaking and forever changes the person you are and who you become. I was also emotionally and physically abused by my mother and stepfather which added to my train wreck of a life.

It took years of Therapy and medications to clearly see I was not to blame and even longer to grieve for the little girl whose childhood was ripped away.

Watch the video, and look for the nuances of violence or controlling behavior. At the end of the video, the physical abuse becomes crystal clear. Thank God someone was there to help her getaway.

If you’re in a Domestic relationship that is violent, have a plan for when the day comes when you need to leave.

XX

Tears started my day, who knows what triggered the thought of this post and song.  

Original post 4/26/2015

young sick looking me
I feel the pain but know I have to smile.

I witnessed my mother beat emotionally and physically every day, it created chaos in my young mind. A tornado burned a hole in my heart. I couldn’t understand the feelings of pain when abused and watching abuse. Child abuse leaves a deep scar in my heart. During a conversation, a friend expressed fear over how the high-conflict divorce was impacting the kids. A volcano erupted in me, I survived Domestic Violence and had no idea. I thank the Army of Angels for being a friend. My eyes were opened during our conversation. The video is heartbreaking, beautiful, and hopeful. 

XO  Warrior

Domestic Violence thru the eyes of a Child
Survivor

Domestic Violence thru the eyes of a Child

Looking for the Light7 Comments

Tears started my day, who knows what triggered the thought of this post and song.  M

Original post 4/26/2015

young sick looking me
I feel the pain but know I have to smile.

I witnessed my mother beat emotionally and physically everyday, it created chaos in my young mind. A tornado burned a hole in my heart. I couldn’t understand the feelings of pain when abused and watching abuse. Child abuse leaves a deep scar in my heart. During a conversation, a friend expressed fear over how the high conflict divorce was impacting the kids. A volcano erupted in me, I survived Domestic Violence and had no idea. I thank Army of Angels for being a friend. My eyes were opened during our conversation. The video is heartbreaking, beautiful and hopeful. 

XO  Warrior

Domestic Violence thru the eyes of a Child
Survivor

Domestic Violence thru the eyes of a Child

Looking for the Light32 Comments

Tears started my day, who knows what triggered the thought of this post and song.  M

Original post 4/26/2015

young sick looking me
I feel the pain but know I have to smile.

I witnessed my mother beat emotionally and physically everyday, it created chaos in my young mind. A tornado burned a hole in my heart. I couldn’t understand the feelings of pain when abused and watching abuse. Child abuse leaves a deep scar in my heart. During a conversation, a friend expressed fear over how the high conflict divorce was impacting the kids. A volcano erupted in me, I survived Domestic Violence and had no idea. I thank Army of Angels for being a friend. My eyes were opened during our conversation. The video is heartbreaking, beautiful and hopeful. 

XO  Warrior

America · Moving Forward · Rape · Sexual Abuse

Keep Students Safe From Sexual Assault & Enforce Title IV

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Change.org Petition

 

Ask Betsy DeVos to keep students safe and enforce Title IX

This petition will be delivered to:

The current Administration is planning to weaken the enforcement of Title IX, a move that would be devastating for students especially those who are LGBT and of color. Survivors and our allies across the country are coming together to ask Education Secretary DeVos to listen to survivors, keep students safe, and enforce protections Title IX has long provided.

Join Know Your IX and End Rape on Campus and ask DeVos to commit to the following :

  • Maintain the Department of Education’s guidance documents clarifying schools’ legal responsibilities to prevent and address sexual harassment under Title IX
  • Continue to recognize preponderance of evidence (i.e. “more likely than not”) as the appropriate standard of proof in campus sexual harassment investigations;
  • Maintain federal transparency in Title IX enforcement by continuing to publish lists of schools under investigation for Title IX violations and those who have claimed religious exemptions allowing them to discriminate against LGBT, pregnant, and parenting students

DeVos will have the power to enforce Title IX protections and ensure that every student is able to attend school without fear of violence.

It’s up to us to make sure that she does.

Mahroh Jahangiri

Executive Director, Know Your IX

https://www.change.org/p/dearbetsy-keep-students-safe-and-enforce-title-ix

Dating Violence · Moving Forward · Rape · Sexual Abuse · Survivor

Bill Signed by President Obama for Rape Survivor Rights *No Victory Dance for Me*

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Tunnel Light

This morning the AOL Sports Section wrote more articles on Sexual Assault cases than I could count. Lots of excuses as well. One College football player said “I had oral sex with her but no intercourse”, did she consent?  It’s long past time for accountability, all sports, girls and boys, men and women, all ages. By allowing owners and coaches to look the other way is deplorable.

A football player sexually assaults a woman with no jail time, a 20-year-old shares marijuana brownies with friends and spends 20 years in Texas jail. What is wrong with this picture?

Sports Team Owners, Team managers, College Administrators, High School Superintendents, Olympic Coaches and The Court System all need to serve jail time for their gross negligence.

Isn’t someone ashamed, enough excuses. I vote for harsh jail terms, no return to sports and permanently placed on Sex Offender list.

Listen carefully and long enough to get the message. I think Change.org partnered with the Video company.

http://FunnyOrDie.com/m/a7xh

Change.org celebrates the Victory of President Obama signing a Bill for Rape Survivors. The current climate doesn’t feel like a victory dance to me.

https://static.change.org/product/embeds/v1/change-embeds.js

Talk to me! I shake my head but know we all have to move forward before change happens.

Xx M

Abuse · Advocacy · Media · Men & Womens Health · Rape · Sexual Abuse · Survivor

Twenty Minutes of Rape

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Information provided by RAINN

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Twenty Minutes of Rape
June 22, 2016

“I so admire this woman, who had the guts to expose what she is going through and share it with the world.”

Representative Cheri Bustos (D-IL) offered these thoughts on a night when a bipartisan group of 18 members of Congress stood in solidarity, each reading parts of a victim impact statement written by the survivor of a brutal sexual assault that occurred on Stanford University’s campus in 2014. The story has resonated around the world.

In March of 2016, 20-year-old Brock Turner was convicted of three felony counts: sexually penetrating an unconscious person with a foreign object; sexually penetrating an intoxicated person with a foreign object; and assault with an intent to commit rape.

Despite the finding of guilt and the brutal details of the crime—which involved a college party, an incapacitated and unconscious victim, and bystanders intervening when they discovered the victim behind a dumpster not far from campus—Judge Aaron Perksy decided to impose a sentence of only six months. This sentence was far less than the six years recommended by prosecutors, and only one-quarter of the normal two-year minimum sentence. Persky avoided minimum sentence by finding that “unusual circumstances” existed.

The short sentence shocked many, as did a statement written by the perpetrator’s father defending his son’s “20 minutes of action.”

Bringing national attention to the case, CNN anchor Ashleigh Banfield spent more than an hour reading the survivor’s full statement on air. The survivor’s eloquence and emotion, led the story to be carried by media worldwide.

Former Judge Representative Ted Poe (R-TX) spoke to fellow members of Congress about the case. “Mr. Speaker,” Rep. Poe said, “I was a criminal court judge and prosecutor for 30 years, this judge got it wrong.” Poe, who as co-founder of the Congressional Victims’ Rights Caucus has led efforts to protect and support victims of sexual violence, continued: “As a country, we must change our mentality and make sure that our young people recognize sexual assault and rape for the heinous crimes that they are… As a grandfather, I want to know that my granddaughters are growing up in a society that has zero tolerance for this crime.”

Rep. Jackie Speier (D-CA) led a one-hour “special order” on the floor of those of Representatives, during which members of Congress took turns reading the survivor’s statement. “People must understand rape is one of the most violent crimes a person can commit,” said Speier.

“This event, which was bipartisan and included both men and women, was unprecedented and demonstrates a rising awareness about these crimes and their devastating impact on survivors,” said Rebecca O’Connor,

RAINN’s vice president for public policy. “This case focuses the national spotlight on ongoing challenges and the continued need to teach the difference between criminal acts and ‘20 minutes of action’; the need to support survivors when they bravely come forward and pursue justice against the odds; and the need to get to a place where rapists receive punishment that fits the crime.”

In her statement, the survivor spoke to not only to the crimes themselves, but what happened after: “He is a lifetime sex registrant. That doesn’t expire. Just like what he did to me doesn’t expire, doesn’t just go away after a set number of years. It stays with me, it’s part of my identity, it has forever changed the way I carry myself, the way I live the rest of my life.”

#ActWithRAINN to support survivors and join the fight against sexual violence.

The Judge set a six month jail term when the minimum for the crime is two years. The message sent by the Judge is Sexual Assault is not a traumatic illegal crime. She was violated twice with a foreign object, for which he received two felonies, third for the intent to rape. Can you think of someone you love, a son or daughter dealing with life changing trauma.

Brock’s father read a statement in his sons defense “20 minutes of action” RAPE IS RAPE. RAPE DOESN’T HAVE A MINIMUM TIME TO QUALIFY,  RAPE IS RAPE IF 20 MINUTES OR TWO HOURS. I want to throw up.

Action, Change and Punishment is essential. Another drunk 20-year-old frat party will go on. Who knows how the rapist will up the thrill as he ages.

She and others who make their voices heard are my heroes. 

Xx  Melinda

Advocacy · Child Abuse · Domestic Violence · Rape · Sexual Abuse

Child Marriages, life of beatings and Sexual Assault by husband

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When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped for a marriage to a much older man, as depicted in the film Difret. On the day I was abducted, I was raped by my would be “husband.” I knew I had to fight back and escape the first chance I got.
I was taken to a hut and locked up. When I received another visit from my abductors I saw my chance. When he was suddenly called away, he left his gun leaning against the wall and the door unlocked. My father had taught me how to fire a gun, so I took it and ran. When he and his friends chased me, I shot him. It was the most terrifying, horrible ordeal of my entire life — and I’m one of the lucky ones.

I was accused of murder and after 2 years in the courts, the judge ruled that it was, in fact, self-defense. My trial led to a re-examination of this tradition and the Ethiopian government is now working to end child marriage and female genital cutting by 2025. In addition, the African Union recently launched a campaign to end child marriage across the continent.
I am now dedicating my life to working on this issue and to give voice to the screams of unheard rural women and girls. I don’t want to see the same story happen to any more girls. And yet, it still is.

You can help. Please join me in Ending Child Marriage around the world by signing this petition, asking President Obama to sign the executive order that would help prevent an estimated 39,000 child marriages every day.

To see her inner strength, strength to move the process forward. A few World Leaders have signed bills to End Child Marriage. The  World Leaders are moving slow. All victories, women are being heard, conversations are taking place.

Please read her story. It’s painful, unimaginable and most courageous yet my soul feels progress for reading her story. 

The movie Difret@Difretfilm highlights real courage. The movie received an award Sundance and others at it traveled to new audiences.

https://www.change.org/p/barack-obama-john-kerry-michelle-obama-sign-the-executive-order-bring-an-end-to-child-marriage?recruiter=84245119&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=copylink?recruiter=84245119&utm_source=petition_show&utm_medium=copylink

This petition is supported by Global Fund for Women, Ms Magazine, Equality Now and Truth Aid. The petition is supported by highly respected Advocates. Please sign and join advocates around the world.

Abuse · Advocacy · Child Abuse · Dating Violence · Domestic Violence · Rape

Joyful Heart’s Male Survivor PSA Series

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NO MORE Excuses: The Male Survivors Series

We recognize that male survivors are met with persistent and harmful responses: That sexual abuse can’t happen to guys. That they just need to get over it. That guys wouldn’t “let” that happen to them.

In 2016, Joyful Heart partnered with Viacom and 1in6, a leading organization that provides support and information to adult male survivors of childhood sexual abuse, released a new series of video and print ads—adding to a suite of print ads released in 2014—specifically addressing the myths and excuses that male survivors hear. They invite men who have experienced unwanted or abusive sexual abuse in childhood, and those who care for them, to visit 1in6.org for help.

In case you missed it, I wanted to share our new series in Joyful Heart’s groundbreaking, celebrity-driven NO MORE PSA campaign developed in partnership with 1in6, a leading organization providing support and information to male survivors of childhood sexual abuse, produced by Viacom and created by Rachel Howald and Young & Rubicam. The PSAs are already airing across Viacom’s networks, and tomorrow, you’ll be able to see them during the eighth #NOMOREexcuses marathon of Law & Order: SVU on USA Network, starting at 1pm/12c.

WATCH THE NEW VIDEO

http://www.joyfulheartfoundation.org/programs/education/no-more/psa-campaign/no-more-excuses-male-survivors-series#sthash.cIxU9PCn.dpuf

Today, I wrote on our blog about why we’ve been partnering with USA for these marathons since 2014. We already know that television and media have the power to shape and change attitudes. And SVU is one of the few far-reaching platforms that has, for so long, brought sexual assault, domestic violence and child abuse into the light. Recent studies have confirmed that watching it promotes healthy ideas around sexual assault: less victim-blaming, an increased understanding that anyone can be a survivor, that there is no “perfect victim.” And the show’s platform to reach survivors is something we have long known. It’s why Joyful Heart is here today—because when our Founder & President, Mariska Hargitay, first started playing Olivia Benson, she heard from thousands and thousands of survivors, sharing their stories, many for the first time.

Through this partnership with USA, we’ve leveraged SVU ‘s 17 seasons of episodes to drive a conversation forward online and on social media—reducing isolation and stigma and connecting individuals to support, information and community. The video messages that air throughout each marathon share information with viewers on topics like consent, expressing healthy masculinity, assault and abuse in the military, campus sexual assault—connecting them with organizations like Joyful Heart, that have deep and clinically-sound content, that are service providers or first responders.

We are very proud to host tomorrow’s marathon in honor of NO MORE Week, following on the heels of the release of our new Male Survivors PSA series. So please join us tomorrow. Watch out for the videos during the day. Join us on Twitter to follow the conversation at #NOMOREexcuses. Share the new series in the PSA campaign on social media to help deliver a message to the 21 million men who are survivors of childhood sexual abuse—to all survivors of violence and abuse—you are not alone.

With gratitude,

Maile Zambuto
Chief Executive Officer
Joyful Heart Foundation

Advocacy · Domestic Violence · Moving Forward

New Resources for Hispanic Women

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Para obtener información sobre la Sala de Ayuda en espanol, haga clic aquí.  Xx  M

Dear Friend,

Today I’m proud to announce a new and very critical service for Spanish-speaking survivors: a confidential peer-support chatroom. La Sala de Ayuda (Helproom) is now open on Wednesdays and Saturdays from 7 to 9 pm ET. This service provides the kind of help that can make such a difference in a survivor’s healing process-the knowledge that they are not alone and the opportunity for survivors to support one another.

Last year, the National Sexual Assault Hotline expanded to serve Spanish-speaking individuals. Today, Spanish-speaking survivors and loved ones are able to:
*Read RAINN’s top content in Spanish
*Chat one-on-one with a trained support specialist
*Access peer support with fellow survivors

Rosie Juarez, moderator

In the words of Rosie Juarez, who moderates La Sala de Ayuda, “Often in the Spanish-speaking community, there is a fear of sharing your story-a fear that you won’t be believed or find the right support. On La Sala de Ayuda there is only support. There are other survivors who let you know that you’re not alone.” Rosie Juarez and Josue Melendez will moderate the service and ensure confidentiality.
Josue Melendez, moderator
Learn more from La Sala de Ayuda staff about how this new service works, and why it’s so critical for Spanish-speaking survivors and their loved ones.

Con gratitud,
Candice Lopez,
Director of the National Sexual Assault Hotline

PS -Tweet about this service to connect even more with help:
Check out #LaSalaDeAyuda, RAINN01’s new peer support service: http://ow.ly/Y8NL7. #RAINNayuda

Mande un Tweet acerca de este servicio para conectar a muchos más con ayuda:
Mira #LaSalaDeAyuda, @RAINN01’s servicio nuevo de apoyo en español: http://ow.ly/Y8NxD. #RAINNayuda

Abuse · Child Abuse · Mental Illness · Parental Abuse

Running to Stand Still

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Heaven on earth.
Yosemite Falls, a piece of heaven on earth.

Original post from 3/2014

The song “Running to Stand Still” by U2 pierced my soul. I can’t explain the feeling. It describes my life in four simple words. I have fought most of my life to stay alive, many from my own bad choices. In the early sixties my parents met at a party. I don’t know if they dated or a one night stand. At 17 years old she was pregnant and engaged to another man. Women didn’t have the voice we do today so it was a shot-gun wedding. I don’t know what baggage she brought to the relationship. I know both of her parents were alcoholics. I believe one issue was the two kids with picket fence fantasy and displaced anger. I was physically and mentally abused by my mother from birth. We lived in a two-story duplex. One afternoon my grandparents came over. My grandmother learned my mother had left me upstairs in the bathtub at six months old. On another visit in the middle of winter they found me in a diaper,  my high chair pushed up to an open window. I was running a fever and was crying. She opened the window because I was hot. I was not physically able to run but believe my mind started running early. Running from pain, feeling unloved, lack of trust and believed the terrible things said to me were true. It’s been a long  journey to learn who I am. Most days I think positive, keep the pain locked away and maneuver my Bipolar Disorder. I buried the past for survival and to move forward. I’ve learned from years of therapy, pain finds you or effects your health. Both have found me, we work my inner child each session.  

M/Warrior

Advocacy

New Survey: Sexual Violence Big Problem on College Campus

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RAINN  Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network  

National Sexual Assult Hotline 1.800.656.HOPE(4673)

(September 29, 2015) – A new survey of 150,000 students at 27 universities finds that 11.7% of students reported experiencing “nonconsensual penetration or sexual touching by force or incapacitation” since enrolling. The survey, by the Association of American Universities with support from Westat, is the largest of its kind.

While the AAU survey results are similar to those found in other, smaller studies, there was significant variability among universities polled. The University of Michigan and University of Southern California, for example, reported rates of sexual violence nearly double those at Cal. Tech and Texas A&M.

According to the report, “Undergraduates identifying as TGQN (transgender, genderqueer, non-conforming, questioning, or not listed on the survey) had the highest rates (12.4%), followed by undergraduate females (10.8%), and graduate (professional) TGQN students (8.3%),” compared to about 4% of males surveyed.
Two of the biggest factors influencing incidence of sexual assault were the involvement of alcohol and drugs and class year. “Among freshmen, 16.9 percent of females reported sexual contact by physical force or incapacitation. This percentage steadily declines by year in school to a low of 11.1% for seniors,” the report says.

Source: “Report on the AAU Campus Climate Survey on Sexual Assault and Misconduct” (Westat, 2015).

The survey also measures cases involving sexual touching, the use of coercion, and the lack of affirmative consent (categories that may include many non-criminal acts). Using this broader measure, the researchers say that “one-third (33.1%) of senior females and 39.1 percent of seniors identifying as TGQN report being a victim of nonconsensual sexual contact at least once.”

Noting the large differences between individual schools, Rebecca O’Connor, RAINN’s vice president for public policy, said, “These findings demonstrate the need for a national, standardized campus climate  survey. This type of rigorous and routine baseline data collection, which would be required under the Campus Accountability and Safety Act ( S.590
/ H.R. 1310), is imperative. Without this data, it’s difficult to understand the true scope of the problem, let alone advance policies that will truly improve prevention and response for these serious crimes.”

Congressional focus on campus sexual violence and related reforms remain front and center. At a hearing of the House Education and Workforce Committee earlier this month, Rep. Virginia Foxx (R-NC) said, “This is a matter of national importance – how can we better protect our students?” Witnesses, who included college administrators and advocates, spoke to the inherent challenges schools face when addressing the difficult topic of campus sexual assault, from ensuring that the rights and needs of both victims and the accused are protected, to ensuring that a tangled web of state and federal mandates are fulfilled. As Congress moves into a busy fall season, you can help make sure this issue remains on the agenda. Stay up to date and be part of the solution by visiting RAINN’s Action Center.

 

Advocacy · Dating Violence · Rape · Sexual Abuse

College Campus Sexual Assaults *Colegio Campus Assults Sexuales

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RAINN  Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network

Help is available 24/7 through the National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800-656-HOPE and online.rainn.org, y en español: rainn.org/es.

Survivor Spotlight: College Campus Sexual Assault

(August 10, 2015) — Ti’Air was happy that someone she met a few years ago reached out to help her through the process of moving to a new university campus, where she was beginning to study for a Ph.D. in biomedical engineering. “He was very friendly and helpful. We talked every day,” she says. “But suddenly, he became extremely flirtatious and aggressive.” One night, he invited her to karaoke. He took her back to her home at the end of the night, and when they arrived at her apartment, he raped her.

Although Ti’Air reported her rape to her university and the police, the case did not move forward. She channeled her frustration with this experience into founding a student group on campus. “The reason I started Students Against Rape and Violence (SARA V) was due to the lack of resources I found on my campus to help me cope,” she says. Ti’Air hopes SARA V can be a vehicle of change by educating students about sexual assault and providing a safe space for peers to share their experiences.

Ti’Air says there were a number of challenges she faced after her sexual assault. She had trouble focusing at school, developed post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and faced harassment from friends of her assailant. Yet, Ti’Air now feels stronger as a result of these obstacles. “In retrospect, these experiences were awful, but they have made my skin thicker.”

Ti’Air now has some tips for dealing with symptoms of PTSD. “To combat nightmares, I’ve found that drinking chamomile tea at night before bed helps me stay asleep,” she says. “If I’m in public and having triggers, I calm myself down and give myself words of affirmation.”

In addition to improved resources for handling sexual assault, Ti’Air wants colleges to provide mandatory education for students on the subject. She likes the idea of interactive workshops that facilitate conversations about sexual violence and consent. “I want to encourage student interaction [to learn] what is okay and what is not okay,” she says.

Ti’Air found many strategies that helped her heal and recover, including going to counseling and spending time with family and friends. “I actually discovered the Lafayette Crisis Center through RAINN’s website, and drove over to attend one of their therapy sessions.”

She also emphasizes the importance of not keeping silent. “I find that telling my story is cathartic,” Ti’Air says. As a title holder in the Miss United States pageant system, Ti’Air is able to encourage other survivors to speak up. “By far, the most rewarding aspect is hearing others come forth with their stories,” she says. “Although I may never see justice myself, it feels great to know that my work may help others see justice.”

“I want every survivor to know that it is not your fault. You are not responsible or guilty for what has happened to you,” she says. “You are worthy of respect and love.”

Bring the conversation about sexual assault prevention to your school this fall: Join the #TalkToRAINN campaign and sign up to receive free coffee sleeves for your campus.

If you or someone you know has been affected by sexual violence, it’s not your fault. You are not alone. Help is available 24/7 through the National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800-656-HOPE and online.rainn.org, y en español: rainn.org/es.

Advocacy · Child Abuse · Rape

Help women and girls who have been kidnapped by ISIS * *الرجاء مساعدة الآن

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Important Change.org Petition

Petitioning President Barack Obama

Help the women and girls from my home town who have been kidnapped by ISIS
Feryal Pirali and Yazda, a Global Yazidi Organization.

My name is Feryal. I live in Lincoln, Nebraska, but I grew up in a small town in Iraq called Sinjar. Last August, ISIS kidnapped thousands of women and girls from my hometown. For a year, ISIS has tortured and raped them. Many are teenagers just like me.

Please urge President Obama to help save 3,200 women and children from my community — some as young as 11 — who were captured by ISIS, and have been raped and tortured for the past year.

I and my family are part of the Yazidi, an ancient religious minority who live mostly in Northern Iraq. Because the Yazidi are not Muslim, ISIS extremists want us exterminated. I and my parents were able to escape, but most of my friends and family couldn’t. I think constantly about the girls my age who I was friends with growing up, who are now being raped every day by ISIS extremists.

They can be saved. In fact, 1,800 have escaped or been rescued — but there are still 3,200 Yazidi women and children being held by ISIS. The Yazidi and the local government in Iraq want to rescue them too, but they don’t have the resources they need to get them out. If the United States can step up and provide much-needed support to these groups, they can start to save these women and children. But the more time that goes by, the longer they have to live through this night

If nothing is done, thousands from my community will be doomed to a life of rape and torture by ISIS. Urge President Obama to help save them while there is still time.

Once, one of my friends who had been taken by ISIS managed to get a hold of a phone and called her family, screaming and begging to be rescued. And then she went silent. She, and thousands of other women and girls, desperately need help.

Join me in urging President Obama to support efforts by Yazidi activists, and the local government in Iraq, to rescue Yazidi women and children from ISIS enslavement.

https://www.change.org/p/barack-obama-help-the-yazidi-women-and-girls-enslaved-by-isis?source_location=update_footer&algorithm=curated_trending

You can see the original petition on Change.org link. Please forgive if translation is incorrect.

XO  Melinda

Advocacy · Rape · Survivor

When Does RAPE Become RAPE? *You Might Be Surprised*

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Light at end of road.
Light at end of tunnel

At nine years old my brother was my buddy. If someone was my brothers friend, they were mine. I was a tomboy and all my girlfriends lived to far away to play after school. Our gang of misfits would walk the creek nearby, play football, ride bikes, the normal kid activities.

Walking home from school I noticed a couple of friends. One invited me in to the house, he had  something to show me. Several other guys were in foyer. I didn’t think anything about the numbers of people there, I just wanted to see what he had. He already owned a crocodile, I was thinking what can top that.

Before I could blink, guys were holding me down, ripping my clothes off,  being choked. Every one violated me. I was crying and screaming for help as they choked and hit me. I cried as they touched and hurt me. Begging to let me go, when I was let go my mind was whirling, confused and body in pain. At nine years old I didn’t know about rape. I knew what they did was wrong. I had no one to tell.

I aged a couple of years and realized that was gang rape. I was not a willing participant and not allowed to leave. I was held down, clothes ripping off, touching and kissing me. Each one put their fingers inside me, forced their penis down my throat. Every violation except forcing their penis in my vagina.

I’ve been raped since, I know what rape is. These were distant memories, never entering my thoughts. Until I read a post triggering the memories and pain. I was also angry. How could someone write an article suggesting unless the man’s penis entered the vagina/anus, it was not considered rape. This ripped my guts out and dismissed me as woman.

I’ve never spoken about that day. I’m telling you.

I have spent months thinking about the right thing to do, what’s the best for me or let the memories fade in time. Memories triggered in my hidden soul. I feel strongly telling my story is the right decision. The post may help someone, maybe a mother or father. Possibly give a nine-year old somewhere to go. With the resources available today, you always have somewhere to go.

My goal is to help rape survivors, especially young boys and girls unsure what to do. Rush home and tell a parent if possible. If your family would not understand, go to Police department or hospital. After a doctor checks you for injuries. One of the most important calls is to a Rape Support Center. Most are able to help you work thru fears, anger, the emotional and physical  pain. This is a short list of Support Centers, there are several national in other states for support.

Every state has a document which outlines what is considered rape.

SafeHorizon.org 24 hours live hotline is 866-689-4357. Dedicated Rape and Sexual Assault Programs.

RAINN.org  (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network) Free Online Support and  confidential and secure hotline 800-656-4673.

Please don’t wait 43 years to tell your story.

XO Melinda

Advocacy · Rape · Sexual Abuse

Care of the Adult Patient after Sexual Assault *NEJM Report*

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New England Journal of Medicine

Care of the Adult Patient after Sexual Assault
Judith A. Linden, M.D.
N Engl J Med 2011; 365:834-841  September 1, 2011DOI: 10.1056/NEJMcp1102869

This Journal feature begins with a case vignette highlighting a common clinical problem. Evidence supporting various strategies is then presented, followed by a review of formal guidelines, when they exist. The article ends with the author’s clinical recommendations.

The author, Judith A. Linden, M.D. has written one of the most comprehensive medical reports on the care needed after Sexual Assault. The report is quite long, I’ve included the link.

www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMcp1102869

If interested in receiving their newsletter www.nejm.org

XO  M

Alcohol · Child Abuse · Moving Forward · Rape · Sexual Abuse · Survivor

Throw Back Thursday *Memories…Good Times…Regrets*

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When introspective, I fall in to music. Music defines a time and space. The memories are not all good, many are from rough times in life. No one knows what each song means to me or why, the answers locked away. A  favorite U2 song is ” Running to Stand Still”. Etched in my soul, reflecting on my life. 

Pull up a chair or lounge with a lover, Enjoy the beverage. I would pick a Merlot to relax and take in the moment.    XO  Warrior 

Advocacy · Survivor

No More Excuses Provides Weekly Update * Truth From The Media? *

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NO MORE EXCUSES

No More publishes weekly updates allowing us to hear “The Rest of the Story”. Information we may not know, the good, bad and ugly. The Joyful Heart Foundation started No More Excuses which focuses on Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault.  

 No More educates, advocates and lobby’s for Survivors Human Rights. Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault are two hot issues. I walk away asking did the media share the news? Was the news common knowledge among a certain crowd? The Joyful Heart Foundation and No More reminds me how little information the media includes in “The Story”.    XO  Warrior

WHAT’S MAKING HEADLINES THIS WEEK?

Ray McDonald’s 2nd Domestic Violence Arrest: Former Chicago Bears defensive end Ray McDonald has been arrested for domestic violence and child endangerment following an assault on a woman who was holding a baby early Monday morning at an apartment in California. This is McDonald’s second arrest for domestic violence charges. #ChicagoSaysNOMORE to McDonald: Following his arrest on Monday, the Chicago Bears terminated their contract with him, after making the controversial decision to sign him in late March. Bears guard Kyle Long tweets “Good riddance” to his former teammate.

Josh Duggar, star of the TLC reality show 19 Kids and Counting, admitted to sexually abusing at least five girls when he was 15 years old. While his parents are calling the abuse “bad mistakes” that Josh made as a “young teenager,” we’re saying #NOMOREexcuses: the sexual abuse of young girls is not a “mistake.” Josh Duggar committed a crime.

We don’t let friends drive drunk so don’t let them sexually assault someone either, says Nicholas Kristof in this must read New York Times op-ed. Students at Carnegie Mellon University are using this “bystander intervention” approach in a new interactive online game in an effort to prevent sexual assault.

Columbia Student Emma Sulkowicz carries mattress to her graduation, after noting at her project’s outset that she would continue to carry the mattress around Columbia University’s campus until either her rapist was expelled or until she graduated.

California is the first state in the nation to establish a specialized NO MORE license plate to fund local programs in the fight against domestic violence and sexual assault. Sign up for the #NOMOREplate at http://www.nomoreplate.org.

18-year-old basketball star launches a NO MORE campaign. Inspired by the NFL Players who took a stand to say NO MORE, Jaired Maddox is speaking out about domestic violence and sexual assault in his East Texas community. Read his story on NO MORE’s website.

The national rape kit backlog is enormous. This month, Washington state passed legislation to require testing of all kits within 30 days of the kit’s collection. This comes at a time when national focus on ending the backlog is increasing: this week, the Senate held a hearing on the backlog and new data was released about the scope of the backlog in Charlotte, NC, Jacksonville, FL, Kansas City, MO, Portland, OR, and San Diego, CA.

Survivors help convince state legislatures to act: Indiana passed Jenny’s Law, a new law allowing rape cases to be prosecuted after the state’s five-year limit expires under special circumstances, like new DNA evidence or a confession. Inspired by Bill Cosby rape allegations, Nevada extended the state’s statute of limitations for sexual assault cases to 20 years on Tuesday.

In Latin America, reproductive rights for sexual assault victims are severely lacking: 34% of girls have been sexually abused by age 18. This month, the story of a 10-year old rape victim who was denied an abortion by the Paraguayan government sparked international outrage.

Stay tuned for more!
– The NO MORE Team

Moving Forward

Throw Back Thursday *Dedicated to team at Survivors Blog Here*

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Army of Angles, Hyperion Strum and myself  started Survivors Blog Here in September 2014. We didn’t know each other well and less about the theme tools. We had determination and Randstein for tech issues. In growing the blog we added writers who shared the same values. Nine writers collaborate on Survivors Blog Here now. It’s up from here.

I am proud to collaborate with you, appreciate you and consider you family. We’ve built strong relationships, a family. Our friend/followers are great.Thank you for reading and please leave comments. Our goal is to support the community.

XO  Warrior

Rape

Documentary The Hunting Ground takes a deep look at RAPE on college campuses

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JOYFUL HEART FOUNDATION 

Friend,

It was always having a heart-to-heart with one or maybe two other people at a time, sitting on a bathroom sink or on a stoop. This was how I had shared my story up until 2013, when I took a deep breath and, for the first time, recounted my sexual assault—and everything that followed—publicly at a Joyful Heart event.

My name is Sukey Novogratz, and I write to you today not only as a proud board member and supporter of the Joyful Heart Foundation, but as a survivor with a call to action.

When I was 17, the summer after my senior year in high school, I was doing a summer theater program at a prestigious, picturesque Ivy league school. It was unfamiliar terrain for me.

On the night of my rape, I had gone out with some new friends from my res hall. We were playing drinking games, and I chugged a glass of OJ and vodka. It wasn’t long before everything started melting away from me. I learned later that’s what Rohypnol, the date rape drug, does to you.

Over the next eternity of hours, I flew in and out of consciousness as three young men raped me over and over that night, leaving me naked, drugged, bruised and left for dead in the boathouse by the river.

It’s not just what happened that night that sticks with me. It’s everything that happened afterwards: the campus police who had neither the power nor the intention of bringing charges. The judiciary committee, who said things like, you’re Puerto Rican, correct? We hear you’re a sexy dancer. What makes you think you were raped? The three boys who assaulted me who walked into my hearing while I gave my testimony, prompting me to pass out cold.

Many things have changed for the better since my assault. But all too often, I hear about survivors whose stories are frighteningly close to my own. Rapists who, time and time again, just get away with it. And those victimized, like me, are told to change residence halls, change schools or simply let it go.

It is for these reasons I am part of the team behind The Hunting Ground, a new documentary that takes a deep and much-needed look at rape on college campuses. I signed on as an Executive Producer of the film because I believe in its power to bring change. And yes, there is great potential—and a great need—for change.

That’s where you come in. There are four things I’m asking you to do. Do one, do them all.

See the film. The Hunting Ground is playing in theaters across the country. Find one near you.
Host a screening. By bringing the film to your campus, community or organization, you can ignite a vital conversation about this issue. You can organize one or attend one of many that are already happening. Get started.
Take the pledge. As students, alumni, parents and teachers, we must all commit to holding our institutions accountable. Add your support.

Donate to Joyful Heart. I know I am not alone when I say that Joyful Heart helped me find something in myself I didn’t know was still there: a certain joy, a fearlessness. I am honored to support Joyful Heart’s transformative work today, and I urge you to join me. Get started with a $25 donation.

To me, change looks like an end to our society’s victim-blaming attitudes—the ones that expose themselves in the likes of those questions that I heard. It looks like holding perpetrators accountable for their crimes. It looks like supporting one another and all survivors with compassion, care and a resolve to do better.

Thank you for being a part of it.

Sukey Novogratz