If you type “moving house guide” into Google, you return over 1,410,000,000 results. Odds are, a great number of these returns are comprised of articles detailing the exact same moving plan – find a good removalist, plan your utilities, pack and load your goods, hand over the keys, travel to the new home, unpack, and organize again. Rinse and repeat however many times you move.
Of course, there’s a reason this kind of advice is so prevalent. It works. Moreover, it’s not as if you can “have an opinion” on whether you’re supposed to bring your items with you from house to house, most people will be more than interested in doing so, and it doesn’t really matter if you use self-storage, ask your friends to help you, or move each possession one at a time, the end result is the same.
All of these plans and warm advisory tips are there for one reason – to make this big life change seem surmountable and even exciting. This is certainly achieved by good planning and care.
But what if you still feel quite upset without really knowing why? It’s widespread for people to feel near-distraught when moving house, even if they’re quite looking forward to the new chapter of their lives.
It’s not hard to understand why. To move is to pick up everything and move the entire orbit of your life from one focal point to another. Sure, you’re welcoming something new, but you’re also stepping into the unknown. It will alter almost everything. In some cases, it may mean moving away from friends or family for the first time. It’s not hard to see why some people struggle with this, and it doesn’t mean they’re being weak or theatrical at all.
In this guide, then, we hope to provide you with a little support should you feel this way. Let’s discuss emotional regulation during a house move, so you can contend with those intense emotions and feel calmer about the whole ordeal.
Give Yourself Time
Often, the best thing you can do for heavy emotions is to process them with time. Fighting them, dismissing yourself, and even covering those emotions by never sitting down, never discussing them, or never allowing them to properly express themselves can be a mistake. Otherwise, you might bottle up your worries, and then when an inconvenience strikes, you might find yourself arguing with your partner or acting out unpredictably. Again, you don’t have to be an irrational and silly person to feel this way, as many have had episodes like this before.
It’s good to give yourself time to move, then. Have the chance to visit the new home you’ve purchased. Book a weekend getaway in the new town you plan to live in, so you can explore its surroundings, cafes, restaurants, and flow of life. Meet the locals. Take a drive to the commute for your new job or school run. If you can settle into that, then the experience feels less like diving into an icy pool from 20 meters up, instead, you’re eased into calm waters.
Use This Opportunity For A Clearout
Moving house is an opportunity to clear out the unnecessary junk and built-up possessions that you’re hanging onto for no purpose. As we all know, moving house is expensive, and so selling some of these items may even help you raise money and feel a little less worried about the stringent budget you’re planning this move from.
For example, you might run a yard sale to get rid of your old, unnecessary items. You could decide to use cash for gold services for a quick sale of old jewelry, or perhaps even donate some goods to charity if you think they could do some good.
Most of us have drawers, cupboards, and even full rooms filled with items that we can’t remember the origin of or haven’t used for years. Don’t be afraid to let this go. Not only does this give you the chance to gather new items, but there’s a great deal of freedom that comes with letting go of unnecessary attachments.
Additionally, if you willingly let certain items go, then you can feel as though you’ve done so with autonomy and purpose, as opposed to feeling like you’re losing things out of your control thanks to the move.
Throw A House Leaving Party
Yes, we’re certain that the plans to move out of your home are quite enough thank you, and so we won’t recommend that you put together a big blowout party with entertainment, catering, and private chaperones.
However, it can be nice to enjoy “an event” dedicated to saying goodbye to your friends in the local neighborhood, even if you’re still going to come back from time to time to meet your family and friends.
This can be as simple or as complex as you’d like. Again, we’d certainly skip the five-act stage show unless you’re really into making this a blowout event, but heading to a nice restaurant with a few friends, or even having a cheese board and wine night while you play board games with your favorite neighbors and friends can be enough.
Thanks to this effort, your final memories of this property will be pleasant, and you’ll have given yourself the closure and comfort you deserve.
Enlist Help Where You Need It
There’s no shame in asking for help in any capacity, especially during a once-in-a-while event like a house move. After all, it’s not as if you stoically move everything from one house to another yourself (except when moving very short distances), you enlist the services of removalists, even if you’re paying for them.
So, could it be that friends, family, or neighbors can help you? Maybe your neighbors are happy to leave space outside the street by not parking near the curb so your removalist van can come. Maybe your parents are happy to take your children for the weekend so you don’t have to worry about caring for them as you pack everything and turn off all the utilities in your household.
Perhaps a sibling or relative of yours is more than happy to take a flight to the new home and ensure they greet the removalists as they arrive, while you focus on a long-haul drive as you bring your cars with you, stopping off in hotels to break up the journey and feel a little less worn by the road. No matter your reasoning, don’t feel bad asking for help. You might genuinely need it.
Work With The Right Professionals
When moving home, you may need to work with professionals within the real estate industry such as realtors, conveyancers, mortgage brokers, and professional movers. Hire the right professionals and you could find that they take away a lot of stress. Hire the wrong professionals and you could find that they create extra stress.
For example, a good moving company will be able to provide services like disassembly/reassembly of furniture, and boxes and even provide temporary storage. A bad moving company may add stress by breaking items, refusing to move certain items, or taking too long to transport everything.
By hiring professionals with a good reputation, you can increase the likelihood that they will take away your stress rather than adding to it. Look out for positive online reviews and professional bios such as this one from Caron Jones Burlington. A well-designed website and good rankings can be a positive sign too.
Give Yourself Enough Time To Settle In
Moving into a property is effort enough without immediately having to meet all of your new neighbors, enroll in your new job, start with the school run, and begin your new life with a day to spare.
If you can, move at least a week earlier than you have to contend with all this. Give yourself a little time to deflate after all the excitement, and make sure to get plenty of rest. This is especially true if you’ve moved a long distance, and especially if you’ve gone abroad.
This isn’t just a small change, in some cases, the new environment can actually weigh you down physically, which impacts your mood and outlook. For example: if moving to a higher altitude area, then the air will be thinner than you’re used to, which is why many high-performance athletes will often train at this level so the oxygenation inspires harder work. It can take time to get used to this, let alone recovering from the long commute, let alone living without all of your usual utilities for a day or two, let alone having new social experiences, let alone getting used to managing a new property.
In other words, give yourself a break. Moving is hard, and you’re not a lazy person for feeling the effects.
If You Need Further Help, Just Ask
Of course, so far we’ve given a range of tips for how to transition to a new home and a new life with care and focus. However, in some cases, the issues you’re experiencing may be beyond the scope of this article.
If you feel as though certain issues might not be because of the move, but have been uncovered by this new process, then it’s good to find someone to help you. Counseling services, visiting your doctor, or even discussing your worries with a therapist can make a big difference.
This way, you might notice that actually, the move has become a shorthand for your worries which extend more deeply. That’s not to say you’re going to conduct a full course of treatment right before or after a move, but be sure to give yourself space for that outcome if you need it.
We would be negligent not to mention this because after all, a move offers a healthy leverage point to springboard into better self-care and good habits.
With this advice, we hope you can enjoy better emotional regulation even during an intensive house move.
This a collaborative post.
Melinda
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